Hostile Territory
by Cyberwolf7777
Summary: (On HIATUS)He was dark and hateful. His soul black and tortured. Some how Fenris felt a strange attraction to this warrior of death. But can Fenris survive the consequences of getting close to this man, known as Hawke? Readers be advised. This fic contains slash, gore, violence, substance abuse, profanity, and disturbing sexual scenes. If you do not like then please do not read.R&R
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 A Beast Among Men

Metal, noise, blood, and fire. The screams coming from Lothering were near deafening. The Sound of metal clashing against metal as fire razed down everything. Blood was spilt by ungrateful creatures, twisted with a sickening taint that washed off of them in a horrid smell. Their home was burning down unto the ground in a heep of smoke and ashes. The Battle at Ostagar was suppose to stop them. The beacon was lite, yet no one came. The flanking charge. Never came. He had pulled his brother from the fallen pillars and ran. Ran to retrieve his younger sister and mother. From the cold hand of death that threatened to follow. He wasn't going to let the darkspawn take away his family. Not if he had anything to say about it. The running had tired them all. He worried for his younger siblings and his dear mother. He had felt the earth tremble with footsteps not his own. A beast of a thing charged at them from behind. The sheer power the ogre possessed was mind numbing. The horns on that bastard swirled and jutted out everywhere. He remember seeing that hidious creature reach it's monstrous hand down to his brother. Carver tried to protect their mother. He was picked up like a child's play toy and was slammed onto the ground without pitty. The rage that filled Jake Hawke was frightening. He had jumped toward the hulking beast ready to sever it's grotesque head. Then. He awoke.

Jake Hawke sat up in the small bed as he let out a growl. He looked around remembering it was just a dream. A dream he had for days now. Since his brother was taken from him a year ago. He couldn't do anything to save his baby brother. At least he had saved his little sister and mother. Hawke sat on the side of the tiny bed as it groaned under his sheer size and weight. He was never average, or normal. As people would say. He was huge compared to most men. Some believed he was part qunari. No one would have ever thought he was just like everyone else. Hawke reached for his eye patch which rested on a table near by. It looked more like a custom made helmet with sharpened spikes that came off it. Almost like a twisted crown. He moved his long unruly hair from the right side of his face and affixed the eye patch in it's place. He was always different. Everyone practically ran from the mere sight of him. He used to have friends, but not any more. He didn't need any more. Nor wanted any. He was a loner. A lone wolf. He looked out for his family and nothing more. Ensuring their survival no matter what the cost. He stood from the poorly built bed he was sitting in. Hawke looked into the cracked mirror to observe himself. Sometimes he would simply stare as if he didn't even recognise the man in it. His jet black hair was long and unruly. It feel upon his shoulders like a wild mane. Though he did keep his beard in shape. It wasn't long like his hair but more or less well groomed. His cold dark blue eye was as deep and treachous like the Waking Sea. The red tattoo around his eye made it appear he cried blood instead of normal tears. If and when he ever did cry. He sighed lowly as he walked out of the small room. Having to duck down just to get through the door. Reason everyone believed he was qunari. He stood at an astounding 7'5'' tall. His large body hardened by years as a mercenary, among many other things. He weighed nearly 400 lbs. He was a giant of a man. And he was anything but gentle. He could crush a man's skull with one hand. When he opened his mouth, people would hush to hear what he had to say. His very pressence demanded attention. People turned from his gaze as if not wanting to offend him. Hawke made his way into the front room of the small pathetic excuse of a home. His uncle Gamlen's legacy. Gamlen looked up from his chair. His little nephew wasn't exactly little. The boy towered over even him. Suprising considered the boy was only 25 years old. Leandra got up from her chair and walked over to her son. She was worried for him. He had been having that dream just as much as she was. "You dreamed of it again did you, baby?" She asked gently. Hawke looked down at his mother. He hid his emotions so well. It was as if he was tranquil. "I...am fine, Mother." His deep voice cut through the air. "I will get over it sooner or later. I can't have his death distract me from getting this family where it belongs." He said lowly as he walked past Leandra. "Aveline was looking for you dear. She and your other friends are waiting for you at the Hanged Man. Bethany went with Aveline so don't fret." Leandra said to her baby boy. Hawke groaned. "I don't have friends mother. They are just associates." He said looking towards the door. "It is alright to have friends, dear. I am sure they don't mind how you. You know. Present yourself. I do hope you make friends with those people." She said walking up to him to place a hand on his back. "I can make no promises Mother." He replied. Leandra smiled. As long as her baby tried. It was all that mattered. She watched as Hawke walked out of the house into the light of Lowtown.

Meanwhile at the Hanged Man. Aveline was talking to the others. Among them were Varric. A dwarf who was part of the Deep Roads Expedition. His weapon of choice. Bainca a finely crafted crossbow. Next to him sat the apostate mage ex-grey warden, Anders. Then was the scantly clad pirate named Isabela. Along with them was a dalish mage girl, Merrill. And finally. A lyrium bound elven warrior, escaped-slave Fenris. Bethany sat beside Aveline. "Well there is a lot of rumors flying around. If Hawke is willing to actually work with us then maybe we could help." Varric said as he looked at the guardswoman. "You are well aware Hawke has already proved his intentions by actually assisting all of you people." Aveline said. Anders shuddered. "Sure. But is he doing it to benifit himself or doing it just so he doesn't look bad?" Anders asked. Bethany huffed. "My brother means well. It is just. He never had friends before. He had always been alone. He can't help but be...Forceful." She tried to defend her older brother. "We aren't exactly his friends, sweet thing." Isabela spoke up. "He does seem lonely doesn't he?" Merrill asked lightly. "He seems like he does not even like being around us. Though he has not made any action to get rid of us..." Fenris said with his arms crossed. "Then that should be enough to help. After all. I known him for a year. He isn't that bad. He does recognize what you guys are doing by helping him. He also hasn't abandoned me at any point." Aveline said as she sat down. Varric observed one of his ink wells bouncing lightly. "Heh. At least we know when he is coming. The man scares the shit out of the ground as well." Varric mused as the door to the suite opened. Hawke looking down at the ground before focusing on Bethany. He walked over as his eye swept across everyone in the room stopping on a new chair by the table. "I got up the coin to buy that. With any luck. It won't break under your giant ass. heh." Varric said trying to get Hawke to laugh. "Funny. Dwarf. Very funny." He said lowly as he sat down in it. It was made of stone. Hawke sat back in it and somewhat hunched over as he leaned his head onto a closed fist. "We were talking about the expedition, brother. They are willing to help." Bethany said brightly as Hawke looked over to her. "I doubt they are willing to help without wanting something in return. The world just doesn't thrive on... Charity." He growled drawing out the word. "It doesn't matter with me. I owe you a debt anyway." Fenris huffed as he looked at the man. Fenris couldn't even see Hawke's face from this side. He noticed Hawke turn his head to look at him. "That still wouldn't stop you from trying to weasel out of it, elf." Hawke said lowly. Fenris got upset. "I will not simply ignore a debt, Hawke. I also don't believe in trying to get out of one either. I will fight beside you till I pay it off." Fenris growled at Hawke. For a moment the man's dark eye seemed to flash with mirth before becoming void of emotion once again. Hawke peered at the others. "What about you lot? You damn sure don't have any debts with me. Nor are you part of the Expedition. So why stay?" He almost commanded. Merrill leaned her head to the side. "If you think of it. I kind a do owe you. After all you made sure I got to the city safe." She spoke up. "Same here. You helped with Hayder." Isabela spoke up. "You did help me with Karl. Also I gave you the maps." Anders added. "Heh. looks like you're stuck with us. Wether you want us or not, Hawke." Varric mused. Hawke rolled his eye. "Wonderful... Just try to stay out of my way." He growled as he rose from the chair and promtly walked out.

Bethany looked after him. "I think he likes you guys." She said brightly turning to the group of misfits. Aveline sighed. "As much as he likes anything. A full year being around him. He still seems hell bent on being hateful. Makes me wonder what happened to make him that way..." She said as she leaned foreward onto the table. Bethany looked down and shook her head. "I am not even sure Aveline. He has always been like that. Though he does mean well. I think Father's and brother's death still bother him. I guess he just doesn't want to get close to anyone." Bethany sighed as she hugged herself. "Considering what happened to his brother..." Aveline said lowly. Everyone stayed quiet. Isabela seemed to be thinking on something. She got up from her chair. The group looked at her. "What? Am I the only one going to try to get him to like me?" She asked. "We all know you want to sleep with him Rivaini." Varric said. Isabela smirked. "Look how big he is. Makes you wonder if his sword is a greatsword." She cooed as she swaggered out of the suite to go find the hulking man. Anders blushed slightly as he rubbed his face. Fenris rolled his eyes. He has only been with this group of people for five weeks now. So far he concluded that the pirate was a bit of a whore. Varric wasn't that bad. Amusing to be around. Aveline had his respect. He despised the mages with every fiber of his being. The only one that seems to respect him in the slightest was Bethany. One of the few people he can talk to when Hawke wouldn't pay him mind. The only way he can even remotely get information about Jake Hawke. Hawke himself was silent. He rarely talked unless he felt like it. Everytime he tried to talk to the man, Hawke would simply ignore him. Same as with the others. The large man simply ignored them. Though the man did command respect. Fenris would give him that much. Though something about him was oddly familar. Fenris wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was the way the man presented himself. Always in dark clothing. Sticking to the shadows. Always watching as if ready to defend against an attack. The large man was constantly on edge. What was he hiding from? Was he running from something? Or someone? Bethany had said Her brother had always been aggressive towards people. The man's very nature was hostile. And his brutallity in battle was startling. Fenris looked up to notice Isabela walking into the room pouting. "How did it go Rivaini?" Varric asked. Isabela sat down. "He didn't even look at me. He was too into that bottle of brandy he had hidden in his pocket." She pouted as she leaned into the chair propping her feet on the table. Bethany laughed. "Brother does enjoy wine more than someone's company. He says the wine never talks back to him." She laughed as she took a sip of water. Varric laughed a bit.

In the main room of the tavern, Hawke downed the bottle of brandy he was drinking and groaned. He wasn't even sure he would even connect with those people in that dwarf's suite. Mother wanted him to make friends. Yet how can he do that? He wasn't exactly nice, or charming, or even witty. He didn't have any charisma. He damn sure wasn't funny. His interests were dark, morbid, and cruel. He enjoyed fighting more than anything else. Tearing apart things that offended him til it bleeds. He relished in the suffering of others. The way a fight got his blood pumping through his veins. The thrill on knowing that he could die at any minute. It excited him. He wondered if other people felt like he did. Probably not. He didn't want to get close. He already had his family to care for. He didn't want to get attacted to people outside his family. He didn't want to be weak. To have the company of others made people weak in his mind. He refused to have friends. It would only slow him down. All he needed was his family. No one else. What was the point of having friends any way? All they did was get in the way. Always disappointing. Those people only stayed because they felt like they owed him something. In reality he didn't give two shits what they thought. His mind was brought out of his thoughts as a certain lyrium lined elf sat down beside him. What was with that elf? He seemed to always try to sit beside him. As if waiting for an order. Hawke let out a low growl. "Hawke." Fenris said. Hawke looked up at the elf. "What is it." Hawke asked him. Fenris fidgeted in the seat beside him. "I just want to understand you. After all I will be fighting beside for quite a while. Also I might be able to help on the expedition." Fenris said looking at Hawke on his good side. Hawke sighed heavily. "Is it because you want a cut of the money?" Hawke asked giving Fenris a side ways glance. Fenris huffed. "No. I would not want to incur more debts." He responded. Hawke clawed at the bar top with his talon like gauntlets. Corff watched as he cleaned a tankard. Yet the barman said nothing. Hawke had went quiet. He must not have wanted to talk anymore. Fenris started to get up when Hawke spoke up. "Sit down, elf. You want to understand more about me. Then fine. I am heartless son of a bitch. No offense to my mother. I really hate getting close to people. Mainly because people always let you down, without even giving a shit how you feel. So Always expect the worst to happen. It is much easier." Hawke finished with a bit of a snarl. Fenris was frozen in his spot. He wasn't quite sure what to possibly say. What in the void happened to make this man, hateful towards every person he met? Was he really disappointed at every turn of life? Maybe they were more similar than Fenris thought. If he played his cards right. He just might befriend the giant man. At least with someone of Hawke's stature he wouldn't have to worry about slavers. Fenris took a deep breath. "Is there anything you... Umm. Enjoy?" Fenris tried to keep the conversation going. Hawke suddenly smiled wickedly. "Bloodshed. Have you ever wanted to kill some person so badly. It plagues your every thought?" Hawke asked leaning closer to Fenris. Fenris was not sure if Hawke was talking about him. He swallowed and answered. "There is an appeal to that thought, Hawke. And yes. I do." Fenris took notice that he got the dark man's attention. "I always did enjoy watching you rip a man's heart out using those markings of yours. Must be sensational to feel the person's heart throb in your hand. And knowing that you can easliy rip it asunder from their wretched body." Hawke growled with delight in an almost flirtatious manner. Fenris recognized the tone the man had spoke in. It caused him to blush slightly. This man was definitaly morbid. The barman inched away from the disturbing man. The quickness as to which Corff could move was intriguing. Fenris noticed that him and Hawke were alone at the bar. Everyone else sitting close to them had moved to the far side of the room. This perplexed him. Surely they heard stranger things than this. In fact, Fenris remembered that the only person near Hawke was Corff the barman. Everyone else. Avoided him like the blight. Fenris suddenly realized the entire reason why Hawke never had friends. He scared people. Hawke's appearance intimidated them. Just like him. No one wanted to be around him, simply because he was different. So Hawke must of just went with it. Having been denied friendship, he must of grew accustion to being alone. To being feared by everyone. Fenris remembered that he hasn't said anything after Hawke finished talking. "It is entertaining." He said to kept the man's attention. Hawke took a drink from the bottle that was placed before him by Corff. "Yes. It is entertaining. Hmm." Hawke looked at the bottle and made a disgusted face. He set the bottle down and reached into his pocket. Pulling out an unnamed bottle which held a red liquid. Fenris looked at the bottle. Hawke glanced at him. "My own concoction of rare wine, brandy, and other spirits. I call it a suicide. Just one sip can make any of these drunks kill over dead." He said as he took a drink. Some of the dark liquor ran down from his mouth and into his beard. Fenris wondered how the man could stand to have hair on his face. Even more so on how the man had long hair than ran down his back. Fenris even wondered why some people insisted on wearing an open shirt when they have chest hair. Surely Varric feels inadequate around the man. "Really now. Any chance I can try some?" Fenris asked as his gaze fell back onto the bottle. Hawke looked at the elf. "I doubt you can even stand it." The man said looking the elf over. Fenris felt a bit uncomfortable under the larger man's gaze. But being told he wouldn't be able to handle some mixed alcoholic drink. Well then. He was going to get a bit competative. "Hand me the bottle. I can handle it." Fenris nearly growled at the larger man. Hawke snorted a bit as he clawed the bottle. "You think you can handle something this... Hard?" Hawke smirked. His eye seemed to warm slightly at the elf's actions. It even held some strange look in it. Fenris couldn't help but feel flustered. Was the man flirting with him? It seemed so. Awkward. They were both men after all. Fenris ignored it and held out his hand to take the bottle. Hawke slowly handed Fenris the bottle. Fenris stared at the bottle. He hesitated for a moment before he began to bring the bottle to his lips. Before he could even take a drink or even a sip. A hand grabbed the bottle. "Brother, don't make him drink that. You said you wouldn't offer it to anyone anymore!" An alarmed feminine voice said. Fenris was suprised as the bottle was taken from his hand. "Aww. You're no fun, Sister." Hawke growled. Fenris looked at Bethany. Bethany held the bottle and looked at Fenris. "Did he tell you he mixes poison with his drinks?" Bethany said looking at Fenris. The elf's eyes widened at this. Surely this was a joke. "You're joking right? ... You are joking..." Fenris asked the mage girl. Bethany shook her head. "I am not joking Fenris. My brother does mix poison with his drinks..." She said as the bottle was taken from her by her brother. Who knocked back another swig of the deadly concoction. Hawke got up from the seat with a low growl as he stood. "I was begining to enjoy his company. Truely... Though it would of been impressive if that elf could with stand something that... dangerous. And live." Hawke purred darkly as he walked to the door of the tavern. People avoiding him as he walked out the door. The moment he was gone. Everyone let out a sigh of relief and began talking amongst themselves. "It was a good thing I came down here when I did. One more second and you would of swallowed Deathroot toxins and other poisons. He mixes them with different hard liquors." Bethany said as she took her brother's empty seat with a sigh. Fenris took a sharp breath. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Why... Why does he do that? The mixing poison with drinks..." He asked looking at Bethany. Bethany sighed sadly. "He once said it was to kill the pain... The feeling of death upon him... Makes him feel better. I don't understand why he does that to himself... Mother and Father didn't tell me much. Carver idolized him. I worried for him..." Bethany said as she laid her head on the bar. Fenris felt that he should try to comfort her. He didn't really want to touch her. Even more so since she was a mage. But he slowly placed his hand onto her shoulder. Bethany looked over to him. "I hope you don't think any less of my brother... I know we only knew you and the others for five weeks now." She said. "He is interesting to say the least. He reminds me of someone. Though I am sure that guy never mixed poison with wine and other spirits." Fenris said taking his hand off of Bethany's shoulder. He shook it out behind her. The pain shooting through from having to touch someone.

Outside the Hanged Man, Hawke made his way to a dark alley way. He rested against a wall and sighed heavily. First time he ever talked to anyone, without it being business. He even flirted with the smaller man. He wasn't sure he even liked the elf that way. He took another drink. Feeling it bite back as he swallowed the poisonous brew. The sickening vile liquid burning his throat once more was both a debilitating yet sensational feeling. Bringing with it a twisted kind of pleasure to the large man. He was past the point of caring weither or not it was healthy for him. He enjoyed the crippling effect it had on him. In a sense it dulled a pain that was growing in him since he was young. Flashes of what he used to be. A small thing born into this world of undying murder and rage. There was no peace. There was no safe haven to run to when the unseen threatened to steal you into the cold dark night. He might have been normal, long ago. But that part died as he did. He had always managed to be in the wrong place. At the wrong time. He closed his eye listening to the screams in his head. His father pulling him from the beast's terrible claws and flaming teeth. How a drake even happened upon the small village along with a mature dragon was bizzare. Many people believed they were extinct. They seemed very real to him. As that drake had attacted him and his father. Remembered His mother hid with the other villagers in the chantry. Carver and Bethany were only two years of age. Hawke had tried to be brave and try to fight off the beasts along with a few others from the small sleepy town. His father one of the few men to fight against the fire breathing menaces. Hawke had ran up to one longsword in hand and striked at a drake. It has reared around and clawed his face on the right side. Ripping his right eye out along with a part of his face. The most damage caused was the eye. His father had pulled him away from the creature then and struck it down with an explosion of ice shards. After the fight over and the dragons had laid dead. Hawke had sat there as if the part of his face was never gone. He didn't show any pain from it. His father mortified by what happened had scolded him. He tried his best to heal Hawke. Using the most powerfull of healing spells. He manage to rid his son of the large wound but it left a scar and a gaping hole where his eye used to be. Somethings could not be gotten back with magic. Though Malcolm had noticed his son was forever changed that day. As did Hawke. In some sense he knew. He would never be the same. His father Malcolm had assumed that he was just in shock from losing his eye. As well as his best friends. Having had witnessed their death. The reason he even tried to fight off the dragon. Though he wasn't strong enough. He was weak. There was no reason to even mourn their death. He simply pushed them aside. As if they had never ment anything to him in the first place. They had told him nothing would tear them apart. They said they were going to be there for him. Forever. Yet they died on him. Lillian and Reado died on him. Leaving him all alone. Their death huanted him for years. Everytime he had closed his eye. He would see their faces. He kept their little team symbol.

Hawke opened his eye as the flashback faded. Their memory lived on. Adorned on his face. Over his remaining eye. He never wanted to be that close to anyone ever again. In doing so. He grew hateful, cold, heartless, and cruel. With such brutallity that even demons of rage were afraid of him. Sure death was a part of the world known as Thedas. He seen it many times. It just never hit him that hard until the day he saw them fall. Ever since then. The only friend he had. Was death. He brought it about many a time. As he stood over the bodies of those too weak to fight against him. It was his job to kill. Killing is what he did best. He lived for it. Breathed for it. It called to him like an unending song. It drew him in with its allure of chaos, mayhem, and destruction. It was simply beautiful to him. The beauty of what laid underneath. He relished in the fact that he was stronger now than he had ever been. He enjoyed every waking moment as he tore apart those who have wronged him. Though his ability to go without attacking innocents is starting to wear thin. Lucky there is never a short supply of idiots who think they can take the street at night. He has always been lucky. There was always some fool who thinks they are better than anyone else. He would always put them in their place. But how long could he go without feeling fresh blood upon him? Only time will tell. He was simply a beast among men.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Thy Name is Fear

Fenris watched as Bethany hung her head at the bar. Corff had given her a tankard of water. The barman even started talking to her and Fenris. "So...That big guy... Who left. That was your brother? He's rightfully scary, miss. Heard a lot about him in the Red Iron." Corff said as he leaned against the bar. Bethany looked up at him. "Yep. That's my big brother. Don't worry though. He won't hurt anyone unless they provoke him. Or I tell him not to." Bethany said. Fenris looked at the barman. "Don't mind me. I hear a lot of strange things. Some things down right disturbing. All I know. I don't want to cross that man. I hear it is unhealthy. I am also going to keep an eye out for those bottles of his. I don't need my customers dieing of poison." Corff said as he walked over to serve someone else. Fenris looked at Bethany as she watched the barman leave. "Question Bethany. Is there a reason why your brother is... Morbid? He spoke very highly of killing things..." Fenris asked. Bethany looked at him. "From what Father told me. He thought that what happened to make my brother that way happened when I was just two years old. At least. That's the time I remember when my brother started to wear an eyepatch. I don't remember much else. Mother says brother had an inccident when he was eight. It changed him somehow. Though I always grew up knowing my brother being the way he is. But I do wonder what my older brother would of been like. If he was Nice." She said as she smiled slightly. Fenris looked at Bethany then. "How much older is your brother?" He asked. "Oh. He is six years older than me. I'm nineteen. He's twenty-five." She said answering his question. Fenris nodded. "I see." He said softly. Bethany laughed a bit. "You know. I think that is the first time in five weeks he ever talked to any of you guys. Without it being strictly business. Just be careful of sharing a drink of his. Unless you're really gutsy and ready to wretch yourself to death." She started laughing a bit. Fenris seemed to smirk. The mage wasn't bad. It was also the only way to get information about their fearless leader. "I still can't believe I nearly willingly knocked back a poisonous drink. I guess I have to thank you. Have you ever tried it yourself?" Fenris said looking at Bethany. Bethany shook her head. "Never." She said. "He never offers it to family. It is almost like some weird initation ritual to him. If someone can impress him enough to get him to offer. Well I think he wants to see how far they would go to be his friend. It is one of the many reasons he is alone. Everyone he ever offered that to died. Those who didn't agree to drink it. Well. He never talked to them since. Or he might have killed them... Either way we never saw them again." She finished. Fenris looked a bit worried. "I shudder to think what happened." He said. "So. I managed to impress him?" He suddenly asked. "Well. You both seem to like ripping people's hearts out." Bethany said as she heard the tavern door open and everyone went silent.

The large man stalked into the tavern as he held a broken bottle. He toyed with it agaisnt his gauntleted fingertips for a moment. Before slamming the bottle into a wall. Right above a patron's head. The red haired man shook in fear as he looked above his head. Hawke removed his hand from the bottle. It was stuck in the wall from the sheer force. Hawke walked towards the stairs, but stopped. His dark eye trained itself on Bethany. Bethany looked at her older brother as he approached. His gait long and deliberate. He crossed the distance in six steps. Fenris turned in the seat he was in to face the man. Hawke paid no mind to the elf. "Sister... Go home." Bethany looked at her brother. "Now?" She lowly asked. Hawke's sight moved to Fenris then back at Bethany. "Did I stutter? Now go home. You would not want to be in the dark Sister." He lowly said looking at her. Bethany nodded as she stood and walked away. The patrons giving her wide room to walk in fear Hawke might attack them, for touching her. She opened the door and left. Hawke had watched her leave. As soon as she was gone he focused back on Fenris. "Don't even try touching her elf. I will kill you if you hurt her. I never forgot that you hate magic..." The large man said threateningly. Fenris swallowed a bit as he sat in place. "I have my reasons for disliking magic." Fenris said in response. Hawke snorted, "As do I. Constently moving from one place to another. Because fucking templars trying to imprision and inslave my sister and father. Though in truth I really don't give a shit about magic..." The large man growled. Fenris shook his head. "Wait. so you don't stand with mages?" He asked. "... We are stopping with this idle chatter. Corff. strongest drink you got. Now." The large man demanded. The barman nodded and went to the back to get it. Fenris shifted in his seat. He was unsure if he should get up and leave or stay. The conversation was ended abruptedly. But he felt like he should sit there until dismissed. Hawke didn't pay any more attention to him for the rest of the evening. Fenris had gotten up and went back to Varric's suite.

As he entered the room the group was playing a round of Wicked Grace. Anders was slumped over the table complaining about losing. "I better win this next hand." He said to himself aloud. "Better hope you do. Least you have to go down stairs and try to pluck a feather off that small cape around Hawke's waist in the back." Varric mused. Anders shuddered. "He would kill me! Besides that isn't any normal armor Varric!" Anders whined as he looked at the new hand he was dealt. "From what Bethany said. That part of the armor came off a revenant." Aveline said looking at her cards. Fenris sat down beside her. "Word of caution. Do not drink from a bottle offered by Hawke." He said to everyone present. They turned to look at him. "Why?" Merrill asked softly. "Apparently Hawke likes the taste of death. He mixes poison with his liqour." He said leaning back in the chair.

"That sounds unhealthy..." Varric said in a bit of shock.

"By the maker..." Anders said lowly.

"Note taken. Do not drink Hawke's wine..." Isabela said making a mental note.

"Isn't driking poison bad?" Merrill questioned.

"I knew there was something off when he drinks that stuff he makes. Though... It isn't illegal... Unless he is selling it..." Aveline spoke.

"How do you know that? If I may ask." Varric asked.

"I nearly drank some when Bethany took the bottle from me. Saying that he did. Hawke didn't deny the fact that there was poison in it." Fenris said slowly.

"Wait he offered you some?" Anders asked. To which Fenris nodded.

"I am not sure what that even means. He is picky about his drinks." Aveline said as she put her cards down. As did the others.

"He seems a bit strict." Anders said.

"He is more strict on keeping a leash on his sister." Fenris spoke up.

"He does insist that she stay with him. He hardly ever lets her out of his sight." Aveline said as she looked at the others.

The others gone quiet as the card game ended. Jake Hawke walked into the room. The large man didn't seem to care what was going on as he promtly sat down heavily into his chair. His mother wanted him to make friends. He didn't want friends. But Hawke would not lie to his mother and say that he hanged out with them if he just roamed the city at night. The group looked at the dark haired man. Who leaned onto a raised fist. Resting his head on the back of his hand. The others were unsure if they should say something to the man. Varric was the first to break the silence that threatened to take hold of the room. "So. Hawke." Varric started. Hawke's dark eye fell upon the dwarf sitting at the far end of the table. "What." The large man growled. Varric didn't let the man's tone bother him. "Care to tell us how you felt when you first saw an ogre?" Varric said getting a glare from Aveline. Hawke sat up straight and set his right hand on the table. He leaned foreword as he dug the razor sharp talons of his guantlet into the table. His eye showed a dark and dangerous hint to it as he slowly spoke. "Bloodshed... That fucker tore my brother apart. So in return... I tore its head off with my bare hands before I ripped out its heart and ate it." He smiled wickedly as Aveline gaged. Anders choked on his water. The others seemed to move slightly away from him. Varric swallowed hard. "Heh...I can believe it... Well... Uh.." He started as he wondered just what he got himself into. Why did he ask this guy to become a partner. Varric sure hoped he didn't just make his own death wish. The large man licked his teeth as he sat back in the stone chair. "I...I have to go back to Darktown now. If you neeed me. Well. You know where to find me." Anders started as he hurridely got out of his chair. He made his way to the door as Hawke watched him leave. Isabela slowly got up and streched. "Well. I am getting tired. See you guys tomorrow. Hey Kitten you want to sleep over with me?" The busty pirate asked as she turned to the dalish mage. Merrill nodded and got up. "I would love to." She said. The two women left the room. Leaving Aveline, Hawke, Varric, and Fenris. Aveline stood. "I should be going back. Fenris. Want walk home with me? After all we both live in Hightown. Also. It would be much safer." The guardswoman asked. Fenris stayed quiet. "Alright well. Good night everyone." She said as she left out. Varric twiddled his thumbs a bit before getting up as well. "Well. It is getting late. I am going to hit the sack. So. I am sure you can see yourselves out. Now would be a good idea." Varric said as he walked over to his bedroom. Fenris nodded getting up and promtly leaving out of the suite. Varric looked around his room as he waited for Hawke to leave. The large man let off a low growl as he slowly stood from the chair. He nodded to varric and walked out the door.

As Hawke walked out of the suite. He stopped just outside the door after closing it. He took a deep breath. "Elf." He said slowly. Fenris was standing to the right of him leaning against the wall. "I am suprised you knew I was standing here. Considering your good eye is on the left." Fenris said. Hawke turned his head slightly towards the branded elf. "I could smell you. Metal, leather, and sandelwood. Also you were clicking your fingers against the arm guard lightly. Your sword is scrapping gently across the wooden wall as you shift to lean comfortably against it. Your breathing is even and low... Were you waiting for me elf?" Hawke asked lowly tilting his head to the side. His dark hair falling over his shoulder. "Your perception of the area around you is astounding. Where did you learn to become intune with your surrounding enviroment?" Fenris asked getting up off the wall and walking over to stand a short distance away from the larger man. "... Years of practice, meditation, and cold calculation... You are also standing within a kicking distance. How interesting. Most stand clear out of my reach." The man said lowly. Fenris shrugged as he slowly uncrossed his arms. "I like tempting fate. It makes life so much more entertaining." Fenris said looking up at the large man's twisted headgear that shown through his thick hair. Hawke made a low chuckle. "So the elf not only runs from slavers but tempts the unknown... How curious. I could possibly be the worst thing you even met. I could even be worse than a magister." He spoke. "You are no mage. And wether or not you are threat to me has yet to be seen. So far we agree on a mutual business." Fenris said cautiously. "Wonderfull.. I always wanted a stray elf to follow me about. Too bad you prove to be more useful than most. Other wise. I would of kicked you to the curb weeks ago." Hawke said as he stood up more and began to make his way to and down the stairs. "I proved useful? I suppose my ability and markings play an equal part in that. I am not helpless. So I can pull my own weight. If that is what you mean." Fenris responded as he walked after the large man. Hawke stayed quiet as he walked into the main room of the tavern. Everyone hushed and moved to make room for him. Fenris followed silently behind him.

The two made their way out into the cold night. If it were not for the light of laterns and torches the street itself would be swamped in blackness. Covering every inch of the stone ground hiding everything that lurks within. As Hawke stood before the tavern he seemed to look like part of the surrounding area. Fenris more or less stuck out. He did not fit well into the darkness of the nighttime streets. Despite his appearance. The larger man turned to look back at him. Fenris looked up at him and stood his ground. Even in the dark. That man seemed to command respect with every breath he took. Though the larger man seemed to fade into the darkness. Fenris made a mental note that this is the reason why any mercanry group cherished him. The hulking man could easily hide in the surround darkness and annialate his target without much of an effort on his own part. Quite frightening if you were the target. "You going to follow me home, elf. If not, then beat it." Hawke said almost through his teeth. Fenris shifted back and forth a bit. "You could also introduce me to your family. The same as introducing the rest of the group to your family." Fenris said slowly as he finished. When talking to Hawke. It was best to think before you speak to the man least you provoke him. After all. The large man hated to even be bothered by idle chit chat. If one truely wished to talk to him then it was best to say something that would interest him. Hawke turned to face Fenris fully now. "You would like that. Wouldn't you, elf. I don't see a reason inroducing you to my family. Nor do I see a profitable reason to introduce the others to my family. So don't get comfy thinking that you can continously bug the piss out of me. For after the Deep Roads Expedition. You and the rest of the lot are on ya'lls own." Hawke said rather harshly. Fenris stood his ground when Hawke took a step closer. Fenris spoke up against the large man. "What about how the others would feel? And what of your sister? What about her wants?" Hawke growled. "Must I remind you. You were the one who accused my sister of being a viper. So what you have to say about my sister is none of your fucking business elf. Besides. I don't really give two shits about what you or the others even think of me. Nor do I care how you nor them feel on the matter. I am only putting up with you lot for my family and nothing more. That is what is important at the very moment. I am not going to waste my time with a bunch of ignorant, reckless, frivolous, and fixated miscreants." Fenris huffed at what was said. "Most of us are not criminals. Such words coming from a hypocritical cold blooded murderer. Surely you are not so innocent. The way you slay our enemies is heartless. You do not give them a swift death. You drag it out and make them suffer. You also enjoy watching them bleed out. If you were a mage. You would be a filthy magister! Your fixation on killing them in an array of unspeakable ways is enough to convict you to a sanitarium! You would even be considered a rara avis. They would have to make a new name that describes every cruel action you have ever done!" Fenris raged as he spoke. Hawke looked off to nowhere in particular as he moved his head to the side with a deep laugh before he focused his eye on the branded elf. "All this coming from a escaped slave!? HA! You have no idea. What I am truely capable of." He started as he began to walk towards Fenris reaching his hands out to him. Fenris started to panic slightly as he inched backwards. Hawke continued to speak. "Just be grateful that you are on my good side. Least I would rip the skin from that wretched body of yours and serve you up as a main dish for the refugees. Not like they ask where the meat comes from anyway. Heh heh. Then if that magistor master of yours shows up. Well I would be sure to invite him over for dinner. He would probably make a lovely steak." Hawke laughed as his eye twitched when his body gave a jerk. He had caused Fenris to back up into the wall of the tavern. Hawke leaned closer into Fenris's face as he licked his own teeth. Fenris was pinned between this giant of a man and the stone wall. The larger man's hands braced on either side of him. Fenris felt his heart racing. His markings springing to life as adrenaline kicked in. He was more than prepared to fight back against his so called leader. Hawke laughed again in his face. "I can smell your blood pounding through you veins. Makes me wonder what it tastes like. Is it sweet? Is it sour? Or is it a mix between both along with the metal taste of lyrium? Heh ha ha." The dark man laughed as his tongue lolled out. Fenris tried to move away. If he wasn't scared of this man before. He sure was scared now. Hawke blocked Fenris's retreat. "H-Hawke." Fenris tried to speak up through his sudden newly acquired fear of the man. Hawke eyed the elf closer before leaning closer. "Do not fret. Fenris... The only reason I do not harm you... Is because you piqued my interests. No one has ever done that before... So You have nothing to fear of me yet until that interest has been sated. Let us both hope you continue to pique my interests. For your sake. If nothing else." He said lowly into the elf's ear as he pulled away with a twisted smile. He straightened up and turned to walk his way to the shared rat-hole called a house.

Fenris finally released the breath he was holding after Hawke called him by his actual name. His markings slowly died down as his heart raced so quickly he had gained a headache. His mind was swimming with questions. Was that man insane? Was he some sort of Sadist? Was that man some kind of cannibal? And what did Hawke mean when he said Fenris piqued his interests? What kind of interests were they? And How exactly will they be sated? Fenris ran his guantleted hand up the side of his neck where the large man was previously breathing down. There was an ever present chill that continued to run down his spine after the disturbing things the larger man said. Fenris was unsure of wether or not he wanted to be that man's friend now. But the hostile and almost seductively dangerous tone the man spoke in where like that of deep dark dreams and fantasies. Thoughts that should never ever be brought to light. Ever since the first time Fenris met Jake Hawke. The way the man spoke had stirred something within Fenris's being. It terrified him and intrigued him to no end. The way the man strung words and obcenities together in the same breath. His deep disturbing voice cut through the air like a sword. Fenris wondered if any of the others felt the strange calling from the large man as well. Fenris shuddered as he realized the moon was high in the sky. The air was still cold and bitter. Fenris finally calmed himself down enough to actually make the walk back home. But he couldn't shake the feeling of fear that currently ran through him. He hurriedly walked his way back. He kept looking back behind himself into the ever present darkness of the night. Wondeing if Hawke was following him. The man was disturbing and terrifying. It made Fenris's skin crawl. The things the man said were sickening. He walked past the chantry courtyard and up the stairs towards his mansion. He walked in and closed the door. He slowly leaned against it and breathed deeply trying to forget what had transpired earlier. He shuddered again as the chill ran down his spine for what seemed like the umpteenth time. He sure as hell wasn't coming back out of that manson for the next few days. Mainly because Fear had a new name. And that name was Hawke.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Mama's Boy

In the light of the moon Hawke stood slumped against the Higtown wall in a dark corner as he watched Fenris retreat into his mansion. The elf had thrown many glances behind himself to see if he was being followed. The large man let out a sigh. What in void came over him earlier? First person he felt any sort of kinship to outside his family. And he ruins it with his exasperatedly vexing bouts of mindless dialouge. Reason he choose to stay quiet, least people find out what he truely was. It plagued him to no end. Knowing he could never be normal. He was nothing but a walking nightmare. Something that mothers tell their children to scare them. He even heard some people use his name for just that. Stories of how he eats naughty little children who don't listen to their parents. If only they knew that he wished he had their child like innocence. Hawke slowly got off the wall and made the walk back to Lowtown. He hurried out past the chantry courtyard. Not being able to stand the glittering statues nor even look upon them as he passed. His mother would be worried. His mother... Always caring and supportive. She always tried her best along with his father. To make him feel as normal as possible. No one could say he was never loved. He growled at the thought that some people called him an abomination. How his parents stood up for him. He wanted so badly to make them proud. To let them know that he appriciated everythig they ever did for him. But it wasn't like he could just make people like him. He tried. He really did try. But it hurts him to try. He had tried so hard to make a name for himself that wasn't shrouded in contemptment and displeasure. Yet fate had a strange way of always making him the bad guy. He wasn't a hero. He would never amount to anything that did not involve the slaughting of another being. His mind continued to wander back and forth through all his hidden emotions and thoughts. Unorginized as they swarmed and flew about in his mind like a massive malestorm of retorts and hateful comments. Those were just his thoughts. His emotions ran deep into his being as they flooded everything around him. So many emotions bottled up and held in. The weight of it all was crushing to the point that he could barely breathe. He was a wreck and nothing but shambles on the inside. A small frightened boy compared to the massive hardened killer that laid on the outside for all to see. That killer was known to everyone. No one ever saw the frightened boy, but his mother. He needed to stay strong though. He would not break down least it would kill him. Hawke looked up as he reached Lowtown. He let off a loud yawn that sounded like a mix between a grunt and a growl. He continued on his way through the closed Bazaare market. All the stalls were closed. He sighed as he walked on passing by the Hanged Man. He didn't pay it much mind as he continued to Gamlen's house.

Bethany was cleaning dishes from dinner earlier. Her brother didn't come in on time. It was around ten o' clock. Her uncle Gamlen went to bed already. Her and her mother insisted on waiting for Hawke. But he didn't show up. Bethany looked at her mother sitting by the fire. Bethany wondered what her mother was thinking. Leandra sat quietly as she gazed into the fire. Her baby boy didn't come in. She hoped that her son would not stay out much later. She worried about him. She prayed that nothing had happened to him. Though it was rare that anything or anyone would bother him. Yet there was always a chance that something did happen. Bethany walked up behind her. "It's alright mother. Brother should be here soon." She said softly to her mother. "I hope you're right Bethany." Leandra said in response. Just as she did the front door opened. Leandra stood as her son walked in. "There's my baby boy. I was worried that something might have happened to you. You never come in late like this." Leandra said walking up to her son. Hawke looked off to the side before lookng down at his mother. "I was making sure one of my associates got home safely. I... am sorry for making you worry about me Mother. Bethany. You can head to bed now. I can sit up with mother if she can't sleep." He said lowly. Bethany nodded and head off after hugging Leandra good night. Leandra looked up to her son again. "It is good to know that you are taking care of your friends sweetie." She said with a smile as she hugged him. "I... Am not sure... I let myself snap again. I think I probably scared another potential friend off again. I told you. I can't make friends. Mother." He said hugging his mother back as he started to walk with her to the table. "Oh? Which one?" She asked him. He looked down at her. "One of the elves... You haven't met him. In fact he was wanting to meet you. Don't know why... Anyway... we had an arguement and I pinned him against the wall. I left him alone after wards. I ended up following him to Hightown. Making sure he got there safely considering how bad I shook him up..." He finsihed with a sigh. His mother Leandra shook her head. "Was that the same elf Bethany said you offered that foul drink of yours to? What was his name, Fenris?" Leandra asked looking at her son. Hawke nodded slowly. "Well don't fret dear. I am sure he won't hold whatever it was you said to him against you." She said softly brushing her son's hair back. "I... would not be so sure... You know how I get Mother..." He said trailing off. Leandra lead her son to a chair and got him to sit down. "I know sweetie. It will be alright. Just try to stay positive." She said as she took off his eye patch. She slowy sat down.

Leandra held the twisted piece of metal in her hand. She looked at it for a while before she looked back to her son who went quiet. He must be thinking again. She sighed remembering when the headgear was made. Malcolm had got the smith to craft it for their son. Back then it was much bigger on him. It had covered half her son's face back then. But, back then it didn't have the blade like spikes on it. Leandra sighed again. After what happened to her son. He had been so quiet ever since. Leandra had tried to get him to be social again. Without success. The more she remembered the more it seemed easier raising the twins. Which then made her think of Carver once again. Both Carver and Jake seemed to act a like. They both wanted what was best for the family. Yet Jake always managed to outshine Carver at every chance. They were both warriors. She remembered how Carver used to look up to his big brother. Carver had said he wanted to be just like him. Wanting to be tough. Leandra didn't want Carver to be shut off from the world like his older brother. But then again. He never got to prove himself to be equal to his older brother. She smiled slightly as she remembered Carver trying to take on Jake in a fight. It was funny considering they were much younger. Jake was eightteen and carver was twelve. Jake didn't really hurt Carver but he had shoved him back and threatened to sit on him. Leandra laughed as the image of her eldest son sitting on Carver's foot. Leandra looked up at her last remaining son. He was looking at her closely.

"You have been very quiet Mother... For about an hour. You need to go to bed. Least you will be tired in the morning." He said eyeing his mother.

"I... was thinking. Wait. I was doing that for an hour? My. I didn't know. I am sorry sweetie. I did not mean to keep you up." Leandra said thumbing the headgear in her hand.

"I can imagine what you were thinking of. Me. When I was younger. Also probably of Carver as well." He said leaning onto the wooden table the creaked as he rested patially on it.

"Yes. You were so cute when you were younger. Same as Carver. The way you two always tried to show who was stronger. Despite the age difference. You two always got along. Makes me remember how much you tried to protect him and Bethany. I am sorry for jumping you so long ago. I know it wasn't your fault for Carver's death. You did your best to protect him. He just wanted to be like you." She said starting to tear up.

Hawke sighed heavily as he stood up and walked over to his mother. Gesturing with his hand, he got his mother to stand up. He hugged her close as he let off a sigh. He then walked with her to the shared bedroom where Bethany was sleeping. Leandra was lead to the bed before her son made it for her. "Here you go Mother. If you need anything. Just ask." Hawke said as Leandra handed the headgear back. "You really are a sweet boy. Maker knows I wish other people knew just how caring you really are." She said giving her son a final hug before turning to the bed. With that Hawke turned and left from the small room. He went to the room he slept in. It was just as small. It seemed even smaller due to how large he was. He sighed heavily as he looked around the room. When he first moved into the room it was a mess. It was originally used for a storage. Trash and clutter scattered about in the room in a messed up heep of garbage. Hawke sat down heavily onto the old worn out bed. It gave off a groan as Hawke rested his entire weight onto it. He set his eye patch like headgear onto the small table beside the bed. He then pulled off his gauntlets and the rest of his armor. Leaving him in only a dark pair of trousers. He rested back on the bed and laid down. He proceeded to stare at the ceiling. He sighed as he recalled the day's happenings. He remembered fairly little of it. He remembered how Isabela flirted with him and flaunted her chest about infront of him. She had left in a huff. Mainly due to him not resonding to her advances. Though even if he was pouring his attention into the drink he was downing. That didn't mean he did not watch her. He could of very well took her up on the offer. But that would be too easy. He perfered a challenge from his desired conquest. One that would put up more of a fight in order to bed. Then again anyone to gain his attention in such endeaver was sure to flee conisdering how twisted he was. He had to admit though. His sense of flirting was disturbing to say the least. He then remember the almost civil conversation between him and the branded elf. The way he spoke to the elf should have tipped the man off on how he was. The elf sat there even after Hawke told him about his love of bloodshed. That elf wasn't hardly daunted. Hawke let off a small growl as he turned onto his side. He pushed his current thoughts of his so called companions aside as he focused on what to do about the Expedition to gain money for the family. He need to focus only on helping his little sister and mother. Nothing more and nothing less.

Hawke tried to sleep but it would not come to him. It was so close yet it eluded him at every chance he tried to grab it. He was worring about his family. Worring about the templars snatching his little sister away. Thinking about how his mother's reaction would be to Bethany being taken. Hawke tried hard just like father to make sure nothing ever happened to Bethany. Even more so after his father's death. He need to get enough coin together to protect his little sister. He needed to get back the estate for his mother. He just knew there was no chance of getting an audience with the vicount without statis or a title. Even with his plan to get his grandparents's will back. He also worried about the Expedition. How he was going to get the money. Considering the fact that he had a group of random strangers helping him despite the fact that they knew little to nothing about him. Yet they were still willing to help. He began to wonder why they would help him. What was their purpose, their intent. He blatantly asked them what they intended to gain from helping them. They all said that they owed him. Owed him what exactly? All he did was do a job for coin and suddenly they were following him like a bunch of strays. Wonderful to say the least considering the fact they were like a group misfits and thus making Hawke the leader of the misfits. Not even two mintues of meeting each of them. They had started following him around like a pack of dogs. It had seemed to him like the Maker was testing him. After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours he was finally able to go to sleep.

The next morning Leandra was making breakfast while Gamlen was out maker knows where. Bethany helped her mother with the cooking as they talked amoungst themselves.

"So Bethany. How is it to have new friends?" Leandra asked.

"It is wonderful mother. They are all so very nice."

"Well that's great sweetie. I wish I could meet them."

"I know! I want you to meet them too. But I don't think brother is coping well with it though. He is so used to people being afraid of him." Bethany said lowly.

"I wish he would make friends. He shouldn't keep going through everything alone. Friends would be able to lessen the burden."

" I know mother. But you know how he is. I don't think he knows what to do with friends."

"I think so. He had told me what happened yesterday after you left to come home. He thinks he scared off someone because of his mental condition. He said something to the elf. He hasn't told me what though."

"They are good people, mother. I am sure they will forgive him over time."

"Either way I am going to make him say he is sorry. Now tell me which of these dishes should we use for breakfast?"

The two of them started to talk about the dishes as Hawke awoke from sleep. He let out a yawn as he arose from his bed. Having heard the women talking in the other room. He got out of the small bed and hissed as he felt a sharp pain in his side. He turned and growled lightly at the small rickity bed. If it left him waking up with cramps and pain. Then the beds in the other room are probably doing the same to his sister and his mother. He sighed heavily and took up the process of getting dress. He pulled on the large custom heavy armor. He laced up the front of the crude spiked shirt. The putting the sharpened shoulder guard on. He then picked up the guantlets and arm guard putting them on before picking up his eye patch. Fitting it over the right side underneath his long unruly hair. He ran his guantleted fingers through his hair making sure it was out of his armor. His hair was mess from tossing and turning the night before.

Back in the other room Leandra and Bethany had finished setting up breakfast. Gamlen was back and sitting at the table already eating away. Bethany and Leandra were also eating. Hawke finally came out his room to walk over to the table. He looked over the food. "Good morning darling. Did you sleep well?" Leandra asked her son who groaned slightly before responding. "Not really Mother..." He responded as he sat down into the wooden chair. Before Leandra could ask why he didn't sleep well. The chair beneath him gave out with a loud crack as he broke under him. Hawke landed hard onto the floor as splinters and pieces of wood went everywhere. "Jake! Are you alright?" Leandra let out getting up. "Brother! Are you hurt?" Bethany chimed in. Gamlen laughed at him. "Your fat ass broke it!" he said during his fit of laugter. Hawke got up with a hiss as he stood. "It wasn't me. It was the piss poor excuse of a damn chair! Cheap piece of shit..." He growled as his uncle went quiet. Leandra was checking Hawke over to make sure he wasn't hurt. "Poor baby. Are you alright?" She asked. "I am fine Mother. Not the first time it happened." He said reassuring his mother and his sister. They nodded and sat back down. Hawke picked up the broken chair and set next to the fireplace before getting another chair to sit in. The four of them ate in silence before Leandra decide to speak up. "Jake, sweetie. I want you to make friends with those people, you are hanging out with. From what I hear they really want to be your friend." She started. Hawke rolled his eye. She simply continued. "I want you to go over to that elf's place and say you're sorry about last night." She finished. Hawke looked at his mother. "You... Want me to apologize? What the bloody hell for?" He asked looking at her."Please I insist that you go say you're sorry. Now go." She said firmly. Hawke sghed as he stood up. "Fine Mother. If it will please you. I wil apologize to him." Hawke said evenly. His mother smiled and nodded. Hawke turned to Bethany. "I want you to stay here today sister. From what I heard there are templars out and about." Bethany nodded as Hawke finished talking before he nodded and took his leave from the house. "How are you even sure he does anything you say. He hardly listens to anyone from what I can tell." Gamlen said looking at his sister. Leandra looked at him. "He is a good boy deep down. He always listens to what I have to say. He won't lie to me. Whatever happened to him mentally all those years ago. Made it to where he never lies to me, nor his father when he was alive." She said as she started to clean up the dishes from breakfast along with Bethany. "He always does his best. He trys so very hard for this family. Though sometimes I wonder how he got the way he is now. Was it because of what happened to him?" Leandra said softly to her brother. "He acts more like a damn wild animal most of the time. He also doesn't seem to care for anyone but himself." Gamlen complained. "Like yourself uncle? Well like attracts like I guess." Bethany snapped back at her uncle. "Well I... Atleast I don't hate everyone I meet." He tried to defend himself. "He doesn't mean to be that way Gamlen. Even after all we taught him. He just never saw the better side of things. Everytime we try to show him something good. Something bad always happens to change his mind on it. I wish there was something I could do so my baby boy could just be happy. Even for a moment." Leandra frowned as she stopped cleaning the dishes and sighed heavily. "I think what finaly got to brother was father's death. He always looked up to father. Though I never saw brother cry..." Bethany said walking to stand beside her mother.

Hawke looked down to the ground trying to avoid being blinded by the sun's harsh light. Taking a moment for his sight to adjust. He sighed as he began to make his way through Lowtown. As he walked into the Lowtown Bazaare he pulled out a hidden bottle of dark liquid. He smiled slightly as he took drink of it. Shuddering from the foul taste. Pausing his step to enjoy the sensation. Due to him drinking such dangerous mixture made him partially immune to being poisoned. He took a deep breath and closed the bottle before continuing on through the market. He didn't bother bringing his axe with him considering it was daylight. He mostly intimidated potential assailants away. Many of the people in the market avoided him as he went through. He didn't pay them much mind as he continued up to Hightown. Taking a sip of his drink every few steps at a time. He continued his way through the Market area before turning to see the grand stairway to the Keep. He looked away from the gleaming statues and retreated into the shadows thrown from an overlooking balcony. The golden statues shined brightly in the morning sunlight. Hawke shook his head and continued his way to the Chantry courtyard. Again blinded by the statues of the Chantry. He didn't have much farther to go. His mother wanted him to apologize. Then he was going to apologize. Though he assumed that the elf wasn't going to easily accept it. He really didn't care if the elf did or not. He was only doing it to please his mother. He looked at the door to the decrepit mansion. Now all he had to do was knock.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Bit of Concern

Fenris awoke with a start as he heard a pounding on the front door to the mansion. His markings flaring from being startled. It took him a moment to realize that if it were a slaver or a theif. They would not be knocking. Now the only people he knew who would be knocking. Would be the group of random people he had known for five weeks now. His markings died down as he got up. He was tired mainly due to the lack of sleep caused by Hawke's erratic behavior the previous night. What was said to him last night stayed with him and disturbed him to no end. He shuddered as a chill ran down his spine whilst he got out of bed. Opting to sleep in his armor, just in case something was to happen. His sword within reach should a break in occur. He turned facing the door of his room as he heard the knocking again. It was loud and deafening as it reverberated throughout the mansion. Fenris picked up his greatsword as a precaution as he walked into the foyer to the front door. The knocking stopped as he reached it. Fenris shook his head as he reached for the handle and opened the door. "Finally. You answer elf." a deep voice greeted. Fenris looked up before quickly backing away from the door. His markings pulsing to life slightly as he looked bewildered at his guest. Hawke walked in after him ducking down to get through the door, before leaning against the frame. "What do you want?" Fenris asked trying to mask his growning fear. He proceeded backed up further from Hawke. His skin crawling as he looked at the larger man. "Mother... Insisted I come and apologize to you." Hawke snorted as he took another drink from the unmarked bottle he was carrying. "So. With all due respects. I formally apologize for my bizzare and outright demented rant I gave last night. Like I really care..." He finished as he downed more of the foul drink. Hawke closed his eye as his body reacted to the drink nearly making him retch. "You should care! Do you have any idea how what you say affects those around you?" Fenris growled as he took another step back. Hawke trained his eye on the smaller man. Something dark and akin to amusment flicked in the torrent sea know as his eye. Fenris shivered, not entirely sure if it was the fear or something else. The elf pushed the strange sensation aside. "Well? Do you even care?" He said motioning his hand towards Hawke. It seemed Hawke wasn't even phased by the elf's words or tone. Fenris grew irritated by each passing second. Hawke seemed to shrug as if he really was truely indifferent by how others think of him. Fenris's markings died down as he looked at the large man. "You really don't care do you?" Hawke made a queer noise in the back of his throat before answering. "Not really. I don't give two shits about whether or not someone likes me. I rather be hated than anything else." Fenris was taken aback by Hawke's words. Almost confused by how sencere he sounded. Hawke continued. "It is just easier to be hated." Fenris looked down before looking back up letting off a sigh. "... Apology accepted... I suppose... Umm.." He trailed off as Hawke began cough. "I... think I'm... going to lay down in a ditch somewhere." Hawke said as he stood up from the wall quickly doubling over in a fit of coughs. He soon coughed up a red liquid. Fenris slightly paniced as he reached a hand towards Hawke but pulled back as he watched the man take a breath. "Hawke..." Fenris looked closer at the large man as he continued. "Are you alright?" He asked. The larger man laughed as he stood up straight.

"Blood?! Ha! Well that's new!" Hawke laughed.

"Are... Are you trying to kill yourself?!" Fenris asked in shock as he looked at the blood.

"Ugh... Just a little at a time... It helps with the pain." Hawke said taking a deep breath as he let it out slowly.

Fenris shook his head dumbfounded. "Why are you doing that to yourself? What about your family?" He asked.

"I enjoy the feeling of death. I ain't going to commit suicide yet. Not while I still have to care for my mother and sister."

"How are you going to care for them in your condition. Surely you worry them while doing this..."

Hawke growled as he looked at Fenris. "I care for them just fine, Elf. How about you stay out of my business."

"..." Fenris looked at the ground before looking back up at Hawke who turned from him.

"Why am I wasting time here..." Hawke wondered aloud as he turned and walked out the door slamming it shut behind him. Fenris stood quietly as he looked down at the blood that Hawke coughed up. The man seemed to have moments where he can be talked to. Fenris shuddered as he stared into the dark puddle upon the floor. It was darker than normal blood. He felt nauseous as he became aware of the metallic smell of rust. He wondered just how someone could knock back something so foul and revolting. He started to worry slightly about Hawke. But he wasn't the man's friend and it wasn't his place to say anything. Yet he couldn't help but worry. Fenris opened the door to see where Hawke went but the man was gone. Probably off to get more money for the Expedition. Or to go lay in a ditch somewhere... Fenris was unsure about what had just transpired between him and Hawke. He felt like he should go talk to Hawke's family. Fenris walked out of the mansion and closed the door behind him before he walked away from the mansion. He assumed Hawke took the route to Darktown by the Chantry. He sighed as he continued his walk through Hightown trying to avoid the nobles. Having the feeling of being watched constantly. He tried shaking off the feeling of dread that filled him when Hawke was around. He ended up going to the Keep. People didn't even pay him any mind as they walked to avoid getting close to him. Fenris had the need to speak with Aveline. With any luck, she would calm some of his fears.

Aveline was sitting in the barracks bored out of her mind as she fiddled with her headband. "Aveline." Aveline sat up as she turned to the owner of the voice. "Hey Fenris. I didn't think I would see you here today." Fenris looked around a moment before he sat down beside her. Aveline looked him over. "You seem shaken. What happened?" She asked looking at the elf. Fenris sighed with a shrug. "Hawke. Apologiezed to me a few minutes ago at my place." He said looking at her. Aveline looked at him her eyes widening slightly.

"Really? Hawke never apologizes."

"Said his mother insisted."

"What was the apology for anyway? He didn't hurt you did he?"

"Other than the usual demented and disturbing rant. That unnerved me to no end. Nothing." He said with sarcasm.

"Just try to ignore what he says. Fenris. That is pretty much what I do on a daily basis."

"Question, if I may?"

"Shoot."

"Are you worried about Hawke's behavior?"

"Yes. I do all the time. He is a my friend. After how we met, and how we got here." Aveline looked down as she crossed her arms.

"I hardly heard anything on how you and Hawke's family came here. Only thing I ever heard was that Hawke had a brother."

"Carver. Didn't know him that long. Ogre killed him... Hawke doesn't believe in having empty talk."

"Hm. Do you think Hawke's family worry for him?"

"Every single waking hour. Leandra is afraid that Hawke will kill himself. So far he hasn't yet."

"Have you tried stopping his... Habit?"

Aveline looked at him then. "Yes. I even threatened him but he just shrugs it off. He won't listen to anyone. Though I figured out he doesn't drink around his mother."

"Have you ever dank any of it? Also have you seen him ever coughed up blood before?"

"No... And never. Why?"

"He coughed some up earlier at the mansion. When he stood off the doorframe he doubled over coughing. Blood came out."

"That. Is not a good sign... I say an intervention is in order. But... He won't listen."

"Will he listen to anyone?"

"I guess he would eventually. But he seems so closed off."

The two soon sat in silence as gaurds walk back and forth in the barracks on their own business. The ginger haired guard sat quietly beside the branded elf. Both of their minds focused on their troubled leader. Even though the ginger had known Hawke for more than a year now. She just could never get close enough to Hawke. Yet she saw how Fenris had connected with Hawke almost instantly. They seemed to have the same mind set. She looked over to the elven warrior beside her. She had saw how Hawke reacted to the elf on a mission. Fenris managed to get Hawke to talk when others couldn't. She then turned fully to him. "You should try to help him Fenris." She said as he looked back with slight confusion. "What?" He asked.

Aveline spoke again. "Look. When Hawke first met you. He seemed less um - Aggressive?- when you talk to him."

"That doesn't neccissarily means he likes me. He threated to eat me yesterday!" Fenris said standing up from the bench.

"Well he seems to talk to you more, is what I am saying Fenris. I mean seriously. In the year I known him. All he ever says was 'Aveline.', 'What is it now?', and most of the time he says 'I Don't fucking care'. And that is the times it is his free time! You actually manage to get him to talk. Shit all anyone else ever gets is growls and grunts from him." She said throwing her hands up in a bit of a fit.

Fenris looked at the guardswoman. "Ugh. Fine. I will try to talk to him about it. But that might take me a while..."

"How ever long it takes."

"If HE will even listen that is. Besides. The man doesn't even call me by my name."

"He doesn't call anyone in the group by their names except for me. Though he started to call me by my name after four months. At one point I could of swore he was hitting on me. The way he talks is confusing at times."

"What do you mean?"

"One time doing a mercanary job with Meeran he had stared at me before saying, 'You have the perfect hips for birthing.' "

"Really he said that?"

"I asked him what he was getting at and he just repeated himself. He didn't even care that it sounded strange."

"He does say strange things..."

"Is there anything else you want to talk about Fenris?"

Fenris looked at the guardswoman and shook his head. "No. Thank you for talking to me Aveline." Aveline stood up and nodded to him. "No problem." She turned to walk over to the roster to check on her route. Fenris turned to walk out of the barracks til Aveline called out to him. "Stay safe Fenris." Fenris nodded as said he will before walking out into the main foyer of the Keep. Nobles crawling everywhere. It was a suprise they weren't hanging from the railings either. Fenris didn't like being around so many nobles. Their judging and sneering faces as if they were the most important person in Thedas. Fenris frowned as one noble demanded to see the vicount and to get the something or other. Fenris hurried his way out of the Keep. He let out a sigh of relief as he walked into the shade casted by the large building. He rather be out of sight than stand directly in the way. He leaned against the cool stone wall far away from the entrance of the keep. He then noticed a familiar figure. It was easy to spot him in a crowd. He towered over them almost like a god of chaos and discord. Nobles gave him a wide berth just like the people in Lowtown. He could see behind Hawke that the man brought his sister. She was looking at an estate right in the Keep courtyard. Hawke seemed indifferent as always. Without knowing why Fenris pressed himself further into the shadows. He observed the large man look at the exstravegant mansion. Shrugging as if he didn't care. Bethany had turned to look up at her brother. She looked so small and almost fragile compared to her hulking brother. Her face frowning slightly as the giant took a drink from yet another unmarked bottle. She looked so sadden by what her brother was doing. Fenris felt sorry for her. Even if he would not admit it to a mage. Bethany's face showed a smile soon after as she turned to look at the mansion again. Fenris took note of Hawke standing up straighter making him taller if possible. The man appeared to be sniffing the air before snapping his head quickly to the ground. Fenris assumed he must of sneezed. Mainly due to some nobles glancing at him in an almost panic. The large man then tilted his head towards the Keep. His thick somber ebony hair blocking out the entire right side of his face. As he turned slightly the twisted metal claws of his eyepatch glinted in the afternoon light like copper fire. Fenris felt a strange and almost choking feeling that Hawke was looking at him. But How could that be. He was at least a good fourty feet from the man. He let out a slow breath trying to relax. Reassuring himself that there was no way the man could possibly be looking at him exactly. Til he froze. Seeing Hawke turn more til the elf locked eyes with the man's one. Fenris gasped, his eyes wideneding as Hawke mouthed 'Elf'. How in Thedas could that man even know he was there. Fenris never said a word yet Hawke eyed him from across the courtyard. Waving Bethany off from leaving the area. Bethany curious as to what her brother was looking at. She looked in the direction of her brother but shook her head. Apparently she did not see Fenris. Fenris stayed where he was as Hawke made his way to the grand staircase towards him. The man acted as if he was going to the keep but turned suddenly as if just noticing Fenris. "Elf." The man's eye focused on the lyrium markings at the elf's neck at first before looking Fenris in the eyes. "Fenris? What are you doing here? Did you get bored at the mansion?" Bethany asked sweetly. A deep contrast compared with her hostile brother. "I went to talk to Aveline for a while." He said honestly without a second thought. Bethany smiled at him bringing her hands closed in front of her. "You should come with us. Brother said something about trying to clear the slavers out our ancestral home." She said as she turned to look at her brother. "Yes. It would be most...Entertaining. Bethany. Go to the Keep and get Aveline." He said as he kept his gaze entirely on the lyrium bound elf in front of him. "Alright brother. Watch me?" She asked looking at him. He gave her a curt nod. She then went to the keep while her brother watched.

Fenris looked up at the man as his dark blue eye focused once again on him. He shuddered under the intense gaze. Hawke chuckled darkly for a moment before opening his mouth.

"Cowering like a rat are we?"

"I was not cowering. I came from talking to Aveline. I then decided to relax in the shade."

"Right, Elf." Hawke looked at him closer not believing the last sentence.

"Fine I hate the way the nobles look at me alright!" Fenris growled.

"Still fun to watch them panic."

"...How... Did you know I was here?" Fenris slowly asked.

"The wind carried your scent is why. Sandelwood."

"Wait. You could smell me?"

"Well I damn sure couldn't see you."

"How is that even possible?"

"Near sighted. Means I can't see that far ahead of me. Also no real right eye. Technically I am legally blind."

"So you focus on things with the other senses?"

"Maybe."

"How is that a maybe?"

"..." Hawke didn't respond.

Fenris soon relaized that Hawke's eye seemed glazed over with something. He couldn't exactly figure out what though. He was about to say something when Hawke snapped his eye closed and let out a pained growl as he grabbed his head. It lasted only a moment. And just like that. Hawke was cold and distant once again as his eye opened. He looked at Fenris and almost snarled. "What is it, Elf?" He hissed vemonously. Fenris took a step back before answering. "Nothing..." Hawke grunted as he turned his head to the Keep's doors and as if on cue Bethany and Aveline walked out the door. Fenris continued to look at Hawke. The way the shadow's played on his features. Fenris couldn't help but feel like Hawke looked old. The large man seemed much older than his actual age. The elf wondered if it was stress, worry, or the grotesque drink the man kept swilling. Whatever the reason. It was evident that Hawke was suffering from it and did not care for the effects of his choice of lifestyle. Fenris shook his head slowly. Hawke turned away from the elf fully bring his attention to his sister. "Aveline's free for the rest of the day!" The mage girl said happily. "I only had to walk Hightown market tomorrow night is all." Aveline seemed to continue the mage's sentence. Hawke's repsonce was a slight growling "Whatever." Before he turned and began walking off. "We can Hang out tonight, Hawke." Aveline said trying to make the man talk more. "Uh-hu..." Was all the man said. "Wonderful another night of spending time with you in total silence. At least we can get rid of night time gangs." She said. Hawke chuckled as the conversaiton started to interest him. "Yes... Bleeding idiots dry is so much fun. Haha." He trailed off laughing slightly to himself. Aveline shrugged with a frown before shaking her head. She looked over to Fenris and gestured at Hawke. Clearly saying _'See what I deal with?'_ in silence. Fenris nodded in understanding.

The day continued on in what seemed like silence. The two compaions followed Hawke and his sister getting things done. From bringing random objects to people. The people themselves seem to cower away from Hawke til they see the item that makes them going into a slight frenzy of ' _Thank you._ ' and ' _Don't wave that around!_ ' Their fear of the man going away as soon as it showed. Hawke always ending the conversation quickly with "Keep track of you garbage." He was quiet rude through out the deliveries. But He gathered coin along the way. The people not caring how he reacted considering they got back something they seemed to vaule more than their own lives. The foursome continued this until Hawke brought them to Darktown upon Bethany's request. In that time Bethany lead the way while Her brother followed like a demonic shadow. Mirroring every step the girl took to reach the cellar of the old Amell estate. "Here it is! Come on let's go Mother's will!" The girl said in excitement. Hawke rolled his eye as his younger sister's antics. Before answering with a low gruff responce. "Not like people will mourn a slaver..." Fenris and Aveline seemed to approve on that statement. Bethany used the key on the door and tryied to open it. The door was stuck from years of neglect and disuse. "Well It worked but it won't open..." Bethany said sadly. Hawke pulled his sister from the door. Picking up his foot from the ground and slamming it into the door with such force. It cracked loudly as it flew open nearly ripping off its rusted hingdes. Dust fell from the top of the doorframe as Hawke stood even once more. Bethany covered her mouth as the stale dust filled air came out from the disturbance. "Or I could of done that in the first fucking place." Hawke said gruffly as he walked into the door ducking his head as he entered. Bethany fanned the dust that still clung to the air as she walked in behind him. Aveline looked at Fenris and mimiced Hawke's kick from earlier. Making the elf laugh slightly before the both of them followed suit.

 **Author's note**

 **I Fixed the last chapter's conflicton with this one.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 It's Called Respect

Amoung all things considering that happened. Today was the worst ever since fleeing to Kirkwall, Fenris thought. Sore, tired, and bloodied from battling a mature dragon in the wretched Bone Pit. The piles upon piles of bones and rotten flesh mixed with the sulfuric smell of fire didn't bode well to making it any better. Having been on the recieving end of a strong clawed backhand across the face. Thus causing him to be partially impaled in the side from behind on a jagged rock. Drawing enough blood to make his mind spin and his back ache with the dull throbbing pain of the wound. As well as his markings adding insult to injury letting him know he was hurt. Which was wonderful to say the least because he already knew he was in pain! He let out a heavy pained sigh as he looked at the dead dragon as a bruise started to form on his face. Her eyes glazed over with death evident as her severed neck bled out all the life left inside. Hawke was collecting the blood of the large beast into a jar before sealing it off. He seemed different in that moment. His constant forboding frown gave way to a sick twisted smirk as he stood over the dragon. He had forced his hand into the dragon's mouth nearly choking it before bringing the large axe up and through her neck. When he killed her. Hawke seemed to shudder as if in delight at the act. Similar to everytime he kills a thug, slaver, and other creatures. Anders was sitting back as well tending to Varric's wounds. The dwarf faired no better than him. Having been smacked in the back of the head by the beast's powerful tail. Leaving a long red angry mark on the dwarf's neck accompanied by cuts and scrapes currently in the proccess of being healed. Anders had went up to Fenris first due to him having the worst of injuries. Fenris had refused the mage and his filthy magic as he said. Hawke was just as wounded. He was also bleeding profusely from the head where the dragon managed to claw him. At least... That's what they thought, anyway. His long hair singed but still there even after being blasted in the face with a fire ball. After Anders finished with healing Varric he went over to Hawke and made the move to heal him. Hawke suddenly whirled at him grabbing the mage by his pauldrons and growled. "Don't fucking touch me, mage. I don't need your magic..." Hawke said rather dangerously before throwing Anders onto his ass. Anders shook visibly out of fear before crawling away from the man. Fenris was confused for a moment. Hawke had always allowed Bethany to heal to him. So why not the abomination? But as he pondered, he gasped slightly as the cut upon Hawke's head slowly closed on it's own as he drank from the usual unmarked bottle. Did him mix a potion within it along with poison? Fenris then felt a tiny burst of magic beside him. He turned to see Anders healing a wound he previously didn't have on his hand. Probably from landing on the ground roughly. Fenris wasn't sure why but he suddenly asked, "You alright Anders?" Anders jerked slightly before looking at Fenris. Clearly suprised to hear the elf call him by his name. "Y-yeah. I guess. Are you?" The mage responded back. Fenris shook his head no as another shot of pain went throughout his body. Anders looked at him more before digging into his pack and took out a poton. Handing it to the elf. Fenris looked at it. "If you don't want magical healing, then at least take this." Anders insisted gently. Fenris looked Anders in the eyes for a brief moment before answering. "I suppose some healing would be welcome." He said warily. Anders nodded and scooted closer to him. His hands lighting up with healing magic. Fenris could feel the magic surge through him. He didn't like it, but it was better than having to go the rest of the day with a sharp pain in his side and bleeding to death. Fenris let out a sigh as he opened his eyes now that the pain eased away. "There. The wound is gone but you might still feel a little bit of pain." The blonde mage said slowly. Fenris gave a nod as both he and Anders stood up.

Both of them looked to see where Hawke went as Varric walked up to them. "Just so you know Hawke left already... We shoud probably get going."

Anders seemed concerned as he spoke next. "Why would he walk off without us?"

Varric in turn shrugged with a frown for a moment before smiling once again. "Maybe he is clearing the way back? You know. In case we missed something?" He said in question form. Not entirely sure of it himself.

Fenris remained silent. Weeks had passed since the last time he had actually spoken and had a civil conversation with Hawke. If the elf recalled it was in from of the Keep. Hawke had closed himself off once again just when everyone was getting to know him. It was like a switch being triggered. Hawke hasn't spoken a word to anyone else in the group. Sure he talked to everyone but after an undetermined amount of time Hawke would grow tired of talking to that individual person. Fenris brought himself out of the memory to rub his sore arm and stand straight as he and the other two men walked back into the dank cavern.

Hawke wandered further ahead in the cavern. He seemed to enjoy the smell of the burning fire mixed with the ungodly stinch of decay rising up from charred flesh and bone. He bent down picking up the skull of a once living worker of the mine. He looked closely at it. The long amber hair soaked in blood and bits of skin. The over all texture quite slick like slime. He chuckled at the thought of wanting to see the skin and tissue of this person just melting off in chunks. He marveled at how the maggots already infested the severed skull. Feeling the heat come off them busily feasting away at the rotten flesh. He gently set it back down as to allow the foul parasites to continue gorging themselves. He judged that by the rate of decomposition it has been four days since most of the miners died. He laughed imagening their screams of terror and crys of hysteria. Most of these souls probably died believing the Maker deemed them all to the Void. Hawke's laugh died down as he heard people walking from the direction he previously left. The dwarf, elf, and mage must of finally collected themselves enough to move their asses. The smell of their blood had made him giddy. He had to leave them least he would of turned on them. Would of been so much more easier if they were disposable. But sadly to Hawke's disliking they were - ugh - valuable. To say the least. The dwarf knew what was going on in Kirkwall. Not to mention he was part of the Expedition Hawke wanted in on. The damned mage was an annoyance. Yet he had his uses as well. Where else could you find another mage so willing to heal people without asking for money? Rather pathetic charitable person Hawke had to say. But Hawke had a good deal going with the blasted freak. Then came the branded elf. What a mighty high priced warrior that was. Limitless power backed up with lyrium etched into his tan skin. The bastard elf was hard to knock down in a fight. Such a fine speciemen to say the least. That fisting ability excited Hawke to no end. Hawke couldn't kill the elf though. After all the damned elf owned him. And Hawke never let a person in debt to him go without paying up.

That elf had fucking slavers after his damn ass. Nearly fifty in that first night of meeting him. Hawke had a system for every target gotten rid of is dependant on what race they were. Dwarves were priced at three soveriegns a head. Elves four, humans five, and qunari eight a piece. And if there was a mage in the targeted group that was an extra six soveriegns. If it was nobles the prices double. He had let that skittish fuck Anso know this system and rule. Which apparently was then told to Fenris. Reason why he said he didn't have the coin to pay. Which was appearent considering he was an escaped slave. Hawke had made it know that he doesn't do charity. He had to make a living some how. And that fucking elf owed him more than two hundred soveriegns for that first night. And what was Hawke payed? Five fucking soveriegns. Five! Which pissed the ever living fuck out of him. As Hawke would say himself. The man just oh so loved to F-word to bits. But that was beside the point. That elf owed him big. Reason why Hawke was so damn interested in the elf. That branded bastard was going to pay him in some way or form. If not money then it best be another way. A more intersting way popped itself into Hawke's twisted little mind. The elf wasn't too small for him. Hawke wasn't sure if it was the lust clouding his mind from being covered in blood or whether or not that elf could possibly take him. Persumably somewhere down the line in time, of course. The simple thought made him laugh. Causing the others pause and look at him, as they arrived to him. Hawke simply looked the three over before stopping on Fenris. The large man flashed such a wicked smile. Fenris froze as if he had some knowledge of what the man was thinking. The elf slowly crept backwards behind the mage. Who in this instance. Avoided eye contact with the large disturbing man. Anders himself inched behind Varric. Varric looked off into no general direction as he cleaned Bianca of blood. None of the three really wished to make eye contact in that moment in time.

Hawke let out a growl at the display before moving to walk through the rest of the cavern. The three other men let out held breaths. They looked among each other and silently followed behind their so called leader. None of them knew how to react when Hawke smiled that way. It just creeped everyone out. The silence that followed during the walk to the cavern exit was frightful. They knew that whatever they say Hawke would hear. The man was incapable of hiding from. The dank cave seemed to make Varric choke in the silence. Mainly due to the intense smell. The dwarf huffed into a rag as he covered his mouth. The walk seemed impossibly too slow for his likings. So in an attempt to get out of the mine quicker he hurried up beside the largest of them all. Hawke's strides were long and quickly moved him through the mine. Varric struggled to keep up with him. The other two had a bit of a struggle as well but not as bad as Varric. The trek through the cavern seemed to take more time now that there was no dragons infesting the mine.

After what seemed like an eternity they finally walked out of the dark cavernous mine and into the receding daylight. The sun slowly drifting its way past the horizion. Painting the sky in a reddish glow that seemed almost apocalyptic akin to how it looked back in Fereldan. It caused Hawke to slow down to a halt near an old mine cart. He gazed at the the sky before noticing the sun hide behind a few clouds. Making the vibrant red color more obvious. His eye widen as a sudden memory blasted into his head. The screams of the people at Ostagar. His brother yelling after being downed from a hurlock. The bright red pyre shooting into the sky from the tower. The people around him dieing as the flanking charge never showed. His brother being nearly crushed. Hawke cringed visibly in front of the others. Getting lost in the recesses of his own mind. Reliving the Battle of Ostagar and several other instances.

The other three men were unsure what to do. Glancing at one another til Varric was the first to make a move towards Hawke. "Hey Hawke. Uhh. Are you alright?" Varric asked with caution. Hawke slowly turned around and leaned forward. Leveling his face with Varric's. Hawke didn't seem right somehow. The dwarf felt a sudden chill run down his spine. Before he could react Hawke grabbed him by the coat and picked him completely off the ground. Anders and Fenris paniced. Anders pulled his staff out and readied himself. Though truely he did not wish to hurt Hawke. Fenris's markings lit up out of instinct. Varric waved both Anders and Fenris off. Varric slowly tried to get throughto Hawke. Bethany had warned him that Hawke has a tendancy to lose himself. "H-hawke... Calm down..." Varric reasoned. Hawke let off a low growl before Varric broke a small vial under his nose. Hawke jerked his head back from the smell closing his eye shut before coughing. Raising a hand to his head. He groaned as he slowly opened his eye. He looked at Varric trying to hold himself up. Varric waved hello to the giant man. "Glad you woke up finally out of that.. Uh whatever that was." Hawke scoffed as the smell of what was in that vial lingered in his nose. He lowered Varric just enough to not hurt him when he dropped the dwarf. Varric landed soundely on his feet and straightened his coat while Hawke shook his head. Varric glanced up to see two dumbfounded men looking at him in confusion. "I talked to his mother the other day. She gave these vials. Says they'll snap Mister Killer Psycho out of his mental crazy whatever she said he had." Varric said gesturing to his head. Hawke groaned as he leaned against a rock. Anders walked slowly over Hawke. "You alright Hawke?" He asked keeping a short distance away from the man. "Fuck off mage..." He growled. Anders backed up with an okay. Hawke stood up and swayed slightly before bringing a bottle to his lips. Taking a long swig of the vile drink. He let out a shuddering breath as he walked off. "Move ya'lls ass." He growled. "Yeah. Might as well before night falls. Or we can set up camp here?" Varric asked walking towards the other two with Fenris. Hawke made a disapproving noise. "Of course you can... I sure ain't going to stop you." Hawke with a hint of an irritated sigh. "Well. We should set up our tents then." Varric said sitting down on a small rock. The other two men also sat down.

Hawke growled again but loud enough for the others to hear. "Just so you know. I **will** leave ya'll behind come nightfall. Cause I have shit to do other than have a damn camp out in the middle of fucking nowhere!" He nearly yelled. He turned from them and started walking off. Fenris stood up and called after him. "Surely that fight with the dragon tired you out as well?" "Not even a little..." Hawke responded. Fenris growled this time and walked after him. His fear of the man slowly going away since a few weeks ago. He wanted that man's respect and he was going to get it anyway he could. Even if the two of them were not friends. Anders and Varric looked the other way. They didn't want to piss off Hawke.

Fenris walked briskly to caught up with him. Hawke gave a sideways glance at the elf. "Elf..." Fenris took a breath. "Hawke..." The larger man didn't slow his gait. "You shouldn't run yourself down, Hawke. You need to rest for the night. I don't think you slept at all for the last three days..." Fenris spoke with concern in his voice. Hawke was silent for a moment before responding. "Didn't know you fucking cared so much! What are you my Mother?" He said with a touch of sarcasm. Fenris sighed rubbing his forehead.

"Does it matter? You should worry about your health and those damn drinks you keep swilling aren't helping either!"

Hawke stopped to looked at him. "Can't possibly know why you're so worried."

Fenris groaned as he stopped beside the large man. "I am not the only one worried about your health! Everyone is worried! The least you could do is sleep at least for a damn sodding hour!" Fenris ranted at the larger man.

"Don't care." The larger man countered.

Fenris nearly raged as he continued to rant. "You should care! Your sister and your mother are probably worried enough about you already. How do you think I feel or the rest of the group feels?!"

Hawke rolled his eye before he took a bottle from his pack and slammed it into Fenris's chest making him cough as the wind left his lungs. Just to shut the elf up. The elf's marking flared from the staggering blow from the larger man. "Ugh!" Fenris gasped as he tried to inhale after the shock wore off. He was clutching a bottle that Hawke always drinks from. Hawke turned to him and leaned towards him. "I might decide to take a break. IF. You can drink that and survive it." Hawke said with a dark grin. Fenris's eyes widened as he stared at the bottle. "But if you feel like a coward. Then you can easily hand it back to me." Hawke said with a sick purr. Fenris growled. He wasn't going to be called a coward! It outraged him. "Fine! I'll drink it." The elf hissed at the larger man. Who let out a deep chuckle. Fenris looked down at the bottle and pulled the cork out. He frowned slightly as he brought the bottle up to his mouth. Hawke eyed him with a twisted smile. Fenris took a deep breath and nearly regretted his hasty action. Fenris felt his heart race as he knew that there was poison mixed into the foul brew. "Well, Elf?" Hawke questioned. "I'm doing it!" The smaller man snapped back, bringing his attention back to the bottle. Fenris brought the bottle to his lips and took a sip. He sputtered from the sudden taste resembling bile as he grabbed his throat feeling the drink burn his mouth with a sour acidic liquid fire. He coughed from the minuscule drops of the concoction. "Not a sip elf. Drink it!" Hawke barked. That small sip alone was choking him. Without thinking clearly he brought the bottle back to his mouth and took a bigger amount of the drink. He swallowed the liquid down painfully. His body reacting to the ingestion of the wretched drink into his stomach. His mind spun as his head pounded harshly. He nearly dropped the bottle, Hawke grabbing it, as he fell to his knees. Holding both his throat and his stomach. He felt like he was going to throw up. His body hurt horribly as the drink ran rampant throughout his being. Hawke dropped down to sit by the elf and merely watched with a sick twisted grin as he laughed. Fenris closed his eyes shut as he took deep breaths. He felt like was going to perish. Until a strange fluttering sensation starting in his chest as it clawed its way throughout the rest of his body. His mind slowly cleared as he collapsed onto the ground on his side. Smell, sight, and sound seem to highten as he sat up slowly. He had such a rush that made him giddy. Despite the new grip on reality, Fenris's chest hurt like he recieved a sword through his lungs.

Fenris slowly looked at Hawke. The larger man laughed and seemed to look at the lanky elf with a new feel of respect. "Didn't think you would actually live through that. I would of told the others you died from being bitten by a poisonous snake back in the cavern." Hawke said almost lightly. Fenris gasped slightly as he finally got his breathing under control. "I have to hand it to you Fenris. You've impressed me. Like I said earlier. I will rest up this night." Hawke stood up and walked back the way he came from. He stopped and talked over his shoulder back at the elf. "You earned my respect Elf." he said and walked off. Leaving Fenris by himself. Fenris slowly made the move to stand. Using the rocks to help with his movements. The elf looked up at the sky for a few moments trying to regain control over his body. Still suffering from the effects of the drink. One thing Fenris could now say was he had the man's respect. Didn't know it was at such a dangerous cost. Fenris felt a bit proud of himself for such an accomplishment. Though Fenris vowed never ever drink from Hawke's bottle ever again. EVER. He would rather jump off a cliff than take another swig of that vile liquor. Fenris felt like he was capable enough to make the walk back to the others. So he stood off the rocks and slowly but surely made his way back to the others.

 **Author's Note**

 **Sorry But typing this story is a lot harder than**

 **writing my other story 'Touching is Good'**

 **Considering that this story is much more darker.**

 **Reason for each chapter being short.**

 **My apologies. Do R &R please :3 **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Flirting with Death

What a wonderful way to start the day! Just what Hawke wanted! The morning spent listening to a tiny elf go on and on with mindless babble spewing from her ity bity mouth! Hawke grew more and more pissed as each minute passed. He don't remember asking the elven mage to bore him with something she saw in the alienage. Yet the girl kept running her mouth! Hawke himself tried oh so very hard not to slap the shit out of the young mage. He sat in tortured silence trying to be nice but it just wasn't working for him. The others in the group were playing a round of Diamond Back whilst Merrill talked Hawke's ear off. Hawke growled lowly trying to warn the small girl to shut up. Be friends with them Mother said. You'll like them Mother said. You would be much more happy Mother said. So far Hawke would only be happy by ripping that elf girl's tongue out in the next instance if she didn't shut up! An agonizing three weeks has passed since Mother convinced him to spend time with those people. He didn't like it. Not one bit. So far everyone seems to mind his temper. Only one that seems oblivious was the dalish mage. Hawke turned towards her. Oh how he wanted to stop her yammering. He shuddered slightly with the need to reach out and break her dainty little neck. Though the others would mostly disapprove... Most of them... Instead Hawke spun quickly and clamped his large hand over the small girl's mouth. Everyone nearly jumped out of their seat and stared at Hawke. Merrill slightly paniced. Feeling the cold chill of the large man's clawed guantlet pressed against her mouth. He leaned forward. "Shut... The fuck... up..." Hawke breathed slowly with unevenness. "Can you even manage that, girl?" He continued. Merrill nodded as Hawke slowly removed his hand from her mouth. Varric spoke up boldly, "You know we were listening to her..." Hawke growled as he looked at the dwarf. "I can barely stand being around you people. What makes you think I want listen to you talk?" He growled leaning over the table. Merrill scooted away from him closer to Isabela. The pirate was the one to speak next. "At least try to listen to us. You might learn something. Like our personalities." She said hugging Merrill. Hawke huffed. "Such wise words coming from a whore." He hissed. "Just shut the fuck up, Hawke." Everyone turned and looked as Fenris leaned back in his seat. He yawned slightly and set his cards down. Hawke glared at the elf. How dare that elf speak to him like that. How... impressive. "What did you say to me elf?" Hawke questioned leaning toward the branded warrior. Everyone remained quiet as they looked between both Hawke and Fenris. "Did I stutter?" Fenris said glancing at Hawke. Smug bastard elf. Hawke found this display amusing. By this time the rest of the group set their cards down as well. They were now enthralled by the confrontation. Hawke let out a low noise that sounded almost like a laugh in itself but also strangely like a hiss. "Well. It sounded like you told me what to do, elf." Hawke said a smirk threatening to pull at his lips. Fenris looked at him. "Yes. I did. Problem?" He said feeling proud of himself. Smiling on the inside. Hawke let out an almost genuine laugh. "I'll be damned. Someone in this pathetic group has a backbone..." He said. Hawke seemed to approve. Fenris simply shrugged. "How amusing." Hawke finished. He looked at the others who sat in their chairs quietly. They seemed to look down at the table. Pathetic. Hawke growled at the display. At least one person was interesting to be around. Hawke focused back on Fenris. The elf was the only one challenging his dominance. And Hawke found this to be exciting. No one has ever challenged him like this before. It was exciting to finally meet a person so willing to go against him openly. The silence that clawed its way into the room grew heavy. No one spoke as Hawke slowly rose out of his chair. Fenris sat up more as he watched the larger man. "I think... A round of drinks are in order..." Hawke said slowly as he eyed the elven warrior. Everyone looked up at the large man with slight wonderment. Hawke then turned and walked out of the room.

Anders was the first to speak. "Maker's breath. Do you have a death with Fenris?" Fenris looked at the blonde mage. "Not really, mage. Just seeing how far I can get away with it." Fenris said with a bit of a laugh. Anders shook his head. "You're insane." Anders said then. The others agreed with him. Varric huffed slightly when he leaned forward on the table. "You serah are crazy to talk back to that guy. Shit. Sometimes I wonder why I picked him to fund the Expedition." Isabela chimed in then. "Well just look at him. Such a fine tall, dark, and handsome piece of ass. Makes me wonder what that guy can do in a bedroom. Hmmm." She continued to muse as everyone looked behind her. "I wouldn't want you as a conquest. You spread your legs for anyone too easily. I like a challenging sort of struggle." Hawke said as he leaned over her to set the drinks on the table. His eye came level with her's as he continued to speak. "I enjoy a good fight before and during the act of lust." He let off a laugh as he stood back up and walked to his seat. "You mean passion right?" Isabela asked trying to calm herself. The closeness of his mouth to her ear was titilating. Hawke then shook his head with a bit of a frown. "No. All it is. Is lust. There is no such thing as passion. Some whores call it passion so they don't feel like a slut afterwards. That is all the act is. Just used to procreate. Nothing more. Nothing less." He droned as he drank from his bottle. That seemed to appear out of nowhere. Isabela thought for a moment. "You and me are going to get along just fine. After all..." She said getting up and sitting by him. "All it is to me is fun. Nothing more. Nothing less." She continued as she leaned over to show the giant her assests. Fenris watched the display and felt somewhat jealous? Hawke paused drinking as he snorted slightly. "You don't leave enough for the imagenation. Whore." He said. Isabela scooted closer to press herself up against him. "If you give me a chance I change your thoughts about me." She openely flirted. The others looked at each other. They even leaned in and talked amungst themselves. Making bets on wether the busty pirate will get him or not. Hawke slowly set the bottle down as he growled lightly. Fenris seemed to move slightly in his seat. He had gotten close to this man. Sure they weren't exactly friends, but it felt that way. He had gain the man's respect and alarmingly his attention as well. Isabela had flirted with him as well. Not just Hawke. Now Fenris watched as Isabela was trying to bed the larger man. It suprisingly made Fenris upset. He let off a low growl that went unheard by all but one of the people in the room. Hawke's attention divided, listening to Fenris while he spoke to Isabela. "Really now... And how do you plan on doing that?" Hawke mused.

"First off. Getting you to call me something other than Whore."

"Is that not what you are?"

"True. But you can call me something else entirely."

"Hmm. What would you have me call you then?"

"Many things, sexy." The pirate purred.

"Do you wish to find out if your plan will work?" Hawke said with a growl. Fenris frowned as he set his hand on the table near Hawke's drink.

"Well. You could meet me in my room~" Isabela said crawling into Hawke's lap. Fenris closed his eyes and with a swift movement of his hand knocked Hawke's drink over onto the pirate's corset. "HEY!" The pirate let out as the contents of the bottle emptied out across the white fabric. Staining it a deep red like blood as Hawke let out a laugh at the pirate. Isabela jumped out of his lap and stood up trying to get the drink off her. "That is not funny!" She yelled. The rest of the group seemed to laugh as well. Fenris had his hands down by his side as if he never knocked over the bottle. So far none of the group even realized he done it. Isabela huffed angerily as her outfit was ruined. Hawke leaned forward and said. "I am tempted to lick you clean." Isabela blushed at what he said due to her being upset. "It is such a waste of damn good alcohol." He finished as he sat back toying with the bottle. Isabela grew angry again as she stormed out of the room. Varric held his hand out to the others and they put money in his hand. Hawke looked over at the rest of them. "I assume you made bets." Varric nodded to him. "Interesting. I wasn't even going to bed the wench. I just enjoy being a sick bastard." Hawke finished as he stood up. His demeanor slowly changed back to being aggressive as he rolled his shoulders. He casted a glance at the others before walking out of the room. He closed the door behind him loudly.

"Okay who else thought that was just weird? Raise your hand." Varric asked the group. To which they all raised their hands. "Good I am not the only one then." The dwarf finished. Fenris got up from the table and Varric looked at him. "Hey Fenris. You leaving already? It is still early yet." He said. Fenris shrugged. "I going to go sit at the bar for a while. Ask Corff if he heard anything interesting. I might go home afterwards." He told Varric and the others. Anders looked up from his water. "Stay safe." Anders said to the elf. Fenris was not entirely comfortable with Anders trying to be his friend. They always disagree on everything. Only one thing keeping them from killing each other. And that something was Hawke. Fenris nodded to the mage before walking out of the room as he pushed the door open. Once he was out of Varric's suite, the door behind him closed roughly. He had a sudden feeling of being watched. He turned to look over his shoulder. It seemed just like several weeks prior. When he was waiting for Hawke. Now Hawke was waiting for him. "Hawke." he said to which Hawke responded with, "Elf." Fenris turned to fully face him. Having to strain his neck yet again just to look at the larger man. "You do know that whore is pissed about that corset." Hawke said with light laugh. "I imagen so." Fenris responded. "I know you knocked over the bottle, Elf." He said standing off the wall. "Such a waste..." Hawke finished up as he turned and walked down the hall. Fenris looked down the stairs then back at Hawke. "Where. Are you going?" He asked. The larger man looked back at him over his shoulder and simply said. "My room." Hawke continued to walk down the hall. Fenris got a tad bit curious and followed after Hawke. _'Wonderful. The stray elf is following me.'_ Hawke thought to himself. Hawke didn't bother trying to shoo the male elf off this time. After all. Hawke had grown accustom to that elf following him about. He wondered if Fenris chose to follow him for safety reasons. Considering there were slavers after him. Makes sense that the weak seeks shelter from the strong. That is basically how life goes. The strong have to put up with watching over those weaker than them. Though Fenris was not exactly condisdered weak. The elf could hold his own and pull his own weight. So why the elf followed Hawke was perplexing. He simly continued his way to a door near the end of the hallway before it heads off to the right. Fenris stopped behind the large man as Hawke opened the door and went in. Fenris stood outside the door and turned to walk away. "You can come in, elf." Hawke threw over his shoulder. "I can?" Fenris asked. Hawke gave off a low growl. "Of course." With that Fenris walked into the room and looked around. He never been in this room. Then again he only ever been in the main area of the tavern and Varric's room. This room was mostly red. Like the fabric wrapped around the handle of the other man's axe. "How did you afford the room?" The elf asked. "A guy owed me. He insisted he couldn't pay so he gave me his room. A good deal from a nobleman. Why he had a room here was strange." Hawke said as he sat down. "I wanted mother and Bethany to move in here. But they insisted that I take it instead... Saying I worked for it. So I deserved it. Ugh... Mother deserves better than that piss poor excuse of a damn hovel." Hawke let off a growl as he picked up a bottle from the table near him. Fenris saw the wide selection of bottles. All unmarked. There was a strange apparatus hidden in the corner of the room. "What is that?" Fenris asked. Hawke looked at him. "If I say it is for torturing people will you stop asking questions?" Hawke said leaning into a chair. "Uh... Why not." Fenris said looking around. The room was dark. The torches on the walls gave off a low glow as they slowly were dieing out. Most of the large room was in shadows. Including Hawke, who seemed to grow impatient. "If you are going to gawk at everything then just get out of my sight." Hawke snapped harshly. Fenris turned to him then. "Is it difficult for you to at least put up with my presence?" Fenris snapped back at him. "You have been a constant thorn in my side, elf." He started off with a bark almost making Fenris jump. He soon continued, "It has been quite entertaining to say the least. You and you alone had the nerve to challenge me verbally." He rose from his seat and made his way over to the smaller man. "I am quite impressed. No one has ever had the audacity to stand up to me before." Hawke gave out a low laugh as well as a small smile. Fenris looked up at him. "Really? I can give a guess why they would never challenge you." He said.

"Yes. My appearance scared them shitless. And if it that didn't stop them, then my erractic behavior did."

"I remember. You threatened to eat me." Fenris shifted in his spot slightly.

"Well you are smaller than I am."

"Pfft. Which raises the question."

"Do I eat people?"

"Do you?"

"I could say no. But then I would lieing."

"... Good to know..."

"Don't fret, Elf. I don't eat those working for me."

"So I am working for you now am I?"

"You do owe me a lot of coin, Elf." Hawke said crossing his arms.

"You do realize I will be unable to fully pay that off. Correct?"

"I am well aware." Hawke snarled.

Fenris looked off to the side as to avoid eye contact but at the same time ease the pain in the back of his neck from staring up at the man. He soon spoke up again. "Maybe I could repay you another way?"

"Really now? And how do you plan on paying me off?"

"I could still help with the Expedition..."

"That won't fully pay your debt off."

"Well. I guess I could help with your family..."

"Or..." Hawke said trying to hint at something.

"Or?" Fenris looked back up puzzled.

"Or I can drop the amount you owe me. For payment in another form." Hawke said in a low dark chilling voice. It took a moment before what Hawke was suggesting dawned on him. He backed up away from the larger man shaking his head almost furiously. A flush forming across his face. "H-how about we... Uhh. Do something else!" Hawke walked towards the smaller man and closed the door Fenris tried to open. "How about you keep me company. Get to know me more. Why don't you take a seat, Fenris."

"How about NO!" Fenris nearly let off a squeek as he shouted at Hawke. The larger man didn't seem to move. But the man frowned as he let off a disapproving snarl.

"I will not force this." He said as he relased the door and turned from the elf. Leaving Fenris beyond bewildered. "You can leave."

"Wait... I thought you said you enjoyed a stuggle?" Fenris's mind was racing as he was hit with mixed feelings and signals. Making his head spin.

"Oh I will have my way with you. Wether it is as payment or not. But that will be further down the line. Maybe after the Deep Roads Expedition."

"What are you... What?" Fenris became flustered again as he tried to understand the man.

"I enjoy toying with people. Fenris. Besides men are more entertaining than women."

"I wish you would stop speaking like that! Even with my intellect. Everything you say is confusing some how!"

"It is because what I say is not really what you hear. I say things in such a way... That you truely wonder if I am saying those things. Why do you think no one else in the group understands when you ask if they heard me. They are so focused on trying not to rouse my anger they mostly ignore me. But you. You seem obsessed with listening to every word I utter. Even the unspoken words." Hawke explained.

"But you are no magister. How can you be that skilled in manipulating people?!" Fenris said getting off the door.

"I simply speak too quickly for them to understand."

"No you don't."

"Try to remember back when you first met me. Then think on all the times I ever spoken to you. Try to remember what exactly we spoke of."

"Ugh... Alright..." Fenris said as he took a breath. He tried to recall all the times he spoken with Hawke since he met. He remembered when he first met the man in the Alienage. He hardly said anything. He mostly growled and complained. All Fenris could remember was that Hawke said he owned him a lot of money. He tried to remember when Hawke first came over to the manison. He couldn't exactly remember what was said. All he could remember from that was Hawke mostly quiet. Except for a few quips of flirtling. He continued untill he realized he could not remember anything that Hawke mostly said. Just a few things that stuck. The only time he ever remembered any conversations with Hawke that was clear was after he drank from... That Bottle that Hawke always carried around. He remembered what Hawke had said after he drank from it.

 _"Didn't think you would actually live through that. I would of told the others you died from being bitten by a poisonous snake back in the cavern."_

Then Fenris thought more on it. That wasn't exactly what Hawke said.

 _"Impressive. You managed to survive drinking it. If you didn't. I would of shoved you into the Pit and told the others you went off on your own back to Kirkwall."_

Fenris turned suddely to Hawke. "Wait you would of shoved me into the Pit!?"

"Yes. I would of. The others would then have asked questions and I would said you just decided to leave Kirkwall. They wouldn't have argued against it considering they hardly knew you." Hawke said knocking back another drink.

"It is that drink..."

"Yes it is. Now be a good elf and get out."

"Great now you are trying to get rid of me!"

"Well you sure don't want to keep my company. Though what I need at the moment is someone to understand me."

"..."

"Do you know how hard it was for me to find someone who is intellegent enough to even grasp the things and shit I say? My parents, my sister, and my brother could never understand me. That is how my brother died. He didn't even hear me... I told him to take Mother and run. He runs straight into the hold of that fucking ogre!" Hawke nearly screamed as he hurled the bottle he was holding right into the wall. Fenris went silent as he watched Hawke walk over to the chair and sat heavily into it. "Why does your life sound so familiar?" Fenris asked in a hushed whisper. He walked over to where Hawke was and didn't see any other chairs. So Fenris simply sat on the table. Hawke was the one to avoid eye contact this time. Reaching up to toy with the sharpened spikes on his eyepatch/headgear. The two of them then sat in silence for the rest of the evening. Til Fenris got up and left close to the setting sun. Hawke might not have said anything. But it made him feel better when that elf was around. Even if they didn't say much. He really appreciated the elf's presence. Though when Fenris left. It left Hawke feeling hollow inside. Just like he always felt when he was alone. He hated the hollowness inside himself. So in order to fill the silence that threatened to overtake from the absence of Fenris's breathing. He picked up another bottle and downed its contents. Feeling the biting sting of death. Which he enjoyed. It made him feel better. Even as it slowly killed him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 Hawke, Friend or Foe

Elf, Dwarf, Whore, Girl, and Mage. Hawke never really called anyone by their name other than Bethany and Aveline. Occasionally he will call Fenris by his name, but mostly called him Elf. He didn't care to get to know hardly anyone's name. He did not care to know honestly. It wasn't that he was bad at names. It was just that he didn't care to bother getting to know someone. Other than the obvious of him being horrible at making friends. He would never remember a name unless the person proves themselves. Or Maker forbid pique his twisted sense of interest. The man was rather dark hearted. Even more so when it concerned his veiw on simple pleasures. But that was beside the point. For the last few days -or in this case three weeks- the group has been trying their damn best to befriend the oversized violent male. Yet it seemed very difficult. Mainly because. Hawke just hated making friends. Though that didn't stop the gang from trying.

Varric sure didn't give up on trying to make the large man laugh. Though the dwarf figured his sense of humor was vastly different from the big scary human's. Varric shudder the thought of what could possibly be concidered as funny to the man. Varric stared at the ground silently as he rubbed the back of his neck. Having to look up at Hawke was like trying not have a hangover after getting shitfaced drunk. Though he was a bit glad to not have to worry about making constant eye contact with man. Varric always got the strange feeling of drowning when he looked the man in the eye. It was down right creepy if you asked him. Varric kept staring at the ground finding more interest in the small catepillar inching its way across the ground. Wonder how that fella got into the Keep? Anyway. Hawke was ranting about something or other to Aveline. Varric wasn't sure. The guy talked way too damn fast for even him. Most of it literally flew over his head. Aveline was going on about Captian Jeven. Here is how Varric understood it. Aveline gets pissed at the captian. In turn Hawke gets pissed about how Captain screamed at Aveline. Hawke nearly walked into the captian's office. Varric assumed it was to bite the guy's head off. Aveline convinced him not to and then went to check the roster.

Besides Varric stood Fenris and Bethany. Bethany remained quiet as she looked at her brother. Fenris seemed to busy himself with something on his guantlet. Glancing up and down quickly looking through his hair. Meanwhile Hawke glared a very large dagger in the general direction of the office. It was a wonder why he didn't bulldoze the door down. The guy was literally a walking battering ram. Well. Other than Aveline. Either way. Varric was the only one scared shitless of both regardless. "Donnic's patrol is in Lowtown tonight. We need to get going." Aveline said after speaking with another guard. Hawke let off a snort. "I better be paid for this shit." Aveline turned to him. "Hawke. I hardly ever ask anything from you. Could you at least do this to help?" She asked. Hawke glared at her. "I will find a way to pay you. Alright?" Hawke let off an aggravated sigh. There was no pleasing that man. You could give him a handful of gold and he would complain it was heavy. Hawke swung around and stalked off out of the barracks to the main room of the Keep. Aveline sighed. "You know he isn't going to ask for money Aveline. You're his friend, after all." Bethany spoke up. The ginger guard looked at the young mage. "I say he is my friend. He says I am a sister-in-arms." Aveline responded. "Well that means he sees you as a friend! I think. The way he glared at your captian's office should say how he actually feels. Brother never really tells anyone how he feels." Bethany said. Aveline let out a sigh, "Which forces you to be his translator. Wonderful." Varric looked around and then spoke up. "Uh. Where did big, tall, and scary go to?" Aveline hurried off to the main room of the Keep while being followed by the other three. Hawke was no where in sight. "Think he got lost?" Varric questioned. "Borhter would stick out in a crowd like this. He might have went outside." Bethany voiced. "Good idea. Let's find him before he hurts someone." Aveline said leading the way.

Outside the Viscount's Keep, Hawke busied himself with a drink under one of the overlooking balconies of Hightown. Despite his size, he hid rather well in the shadows. He coughed slightly as he held his chest. He hurt as he coughed. But he soon chased it with his drink. Shuddering from the feeling. He tried to bask in the sensation until his high was disrupted by Aveline. "I swear Hawke. I will find out where you hide all those damn bottles. And I will break them." Aveline huffed glaring up at Hawke. He just realized that Aveline took the bottle from him. He let out a threatening snarl. Hawke stilled himself to speak slowly. "I suggest you give that back, now Guardswoman." He drawled. Aveline shook her head. "I need you to be lucid and not inebriated, Hawke." She scolded. "If I... Wish to be a besotted **fuck**... Then I shall... I don't need you telling me what to do." Hawke growled in responce. Getting Aveline to match his attitude as she clenched her hands into fists. Bethany took this moment to stand between them. "Brother." Bethany pleaded looking her brother in the eye. He seemed to grow silent at her voice. "Please try to take it easy on that. I really don't want to tell Mother that you had to be dragged to the clinic." She spoke softly while she put her hands on his arms. Hawke let out a pained sigh as he turned from his sister to walk off without grabbing the bottle from Aveline. Bethany looked down and sighed her own worry. "I wonder what Leandra thinks about his addiction..." Aveline said lowly with wonder.

"I recently found out that Mother doesn't know what is exactly in the drink." Bethany said taking in a deep breath.

"Wait. Your mother doesn't know?" Aveline said looking at the small mage.

"I found out my brother was drinking that stuff when he was very young. Both me and Carver saw. He told us to never tell mother or father."

"Sunshine. That kind of addiction needs to be brought to your mother's attention." Varric said walking up to her.

"It would kill Mother, though... Brother used to be a lot worse until he started drinking. Mother thought it was because of her staying up with him at night that helped."

"What are you getting at Bethany?" Fenris questioned. The first time he spoken all day.

"Brother had night terrors that made him scream in pain. Brother hardly slept back then. He was always tired. Always sick. It would wake me and Carver up. Father would tell us to go back to sleep. But hearing brother scream was scary. When he started drinking though. He stopped screaming in his sleep. He only tossed and turned. The more he drank the more soundless his sleep would get. Mother thought it was because of her taking care of him." Bethany was slightly crying as she wiped her face. The others remained silent. Bethany then looked up at them and nearly begged. "Please don't tell mother! Or Brother that I told you!" Aveline and the others looked amungst each other and nodded. "We won't tell. It will be our secret." Aveline said as the two guys nodded their heads.

Varric put his hand on Bethany's arm getting her to look at him. "I won't tell anyone this. But... Why not tell your brother we know?" He asked.

"Brother would be upset and he might end up never talking to you guys ever again. He finally has friends. I don't want him being alone." She confessed. Fenris shifted slightly as he wondered where Hawke could be right now. He voiced his puzzlement. "Should we go find Hawke?" The others turned to Fenris and agreed with him. "We should head to Lowtown. If he really does care about helping a friend then he must be going to Donnic's route." Aveline said as she lead the way to Lowtown.

The sun was slowly fading as they reached Lowtown. It was near time for Donnic's patrol. Varric ran into the Hanged Man to check for Hawke. Varric came back out and said he wasn't in there. Corff never saw him walk in. Aveline sighed as she lead the way down the stairs. The sound of fighting was heard in an alleyway. Aveline drew her sword and sheild and ran towards the disturbance. The four ran into the alley and saw Hawke standing amungst dead theives. He held his battle axe aloft in one hand and in the other he held a theif who was screaming for his life. "Some one! Please Help!" The theif yelled. Hawke tilted his head and gave a wicked smile. Before slamming his head angling the sharp spikes of his eyepatch into the man's face. The spikes sinking into his eyes and mouth as he let out a choked scream. Blood drained from where the crude metal penetrated the man's head. Hawke jerked his head twice pulling free while ripping bits of flesh from the man before dropping him to the ground. Hawke let out a low laugh as he slammed his axe into the now dead man's back. Aveline and the others walked further into the alley. The theives were all dead and torn to peices. "You really do get results... Don't you, Hawke." Varric shuddered. There infront of Hawke was Donnic. Hawke stalked his way over to the unconscious guard. Aveline rushed ahead of Hawke to wake Donnic. Hawke stopped as his foot landed beside the satchel. He bent down and opened it. It was full of papers that made no sense to him. "That is the seal of the Viscount. Looks like Jeven is selling city accounts. Seems he makes money on the side." Varric said peeking into the bag around Hawke's large frame. Fenris stayed quiet. He was simply in awe at the amount of blood and the sheer barbarous sight around him. That man alone could kill this many people on his own. It was simply stupifing.

Donnic was awoken and seemed to fall head over heel's for Aveline. He stuttered as he saw the carnage around him. He held his breath as he looked at Hawke next. The Man had blood coming from his headgear and his hands. He noticed the others didn't have blood on them. He decided it was better he didn't know. He thanked Aveline and hurriedly limped back to Hightown. Aveline turned to look upon Hawke who seemed distant at the moment. Aveline was unable to rouse Hawke from whatever trance he was in. So she told the others that tomorrow Hawke was to meet her in the keep. She then took her leave of the area. Bethany walked over to her brother and tried to talk to him. "Brother..." Hawke slowly slid his eye to focus on his smaller sibling. "Go... Home Bethany. Tell Mother I will be late." He droned. Bethany backed up and nodded to her older brother before turning around and leaving without complaint. Hawke didn't turn to the other two but simply spoke over his shoulder. "Go home you two. I will dispose of the bodies." Varric shuffled his feet. "You know I can get my contacts to clean up this mess, Hawke." He said looking around. Hawke let out a groan. "I enjoy the feeling of blood on my body. Carting off the dead is an added bonus. After all..." He said bending his knee to lay his hand on the man he gored like a bull. "You learn a few things when keeping your family safe..." He said lowly. Varric backed up slightly to stand beside Fenris. Fenris glanced down at Varric. "So you consider Aveline as family?" Varric questioned. Hawke merely grunted before standing up again. "Okay... I don't think Hawke is listening anymore." Varric said with a shrug. Fenris couldn't help but over hear Hawke was talking. He glanced at Varric who turned around to count just how many people tried to jump Donnic. "He isn't going to hear what I say, Elf. He assumes I am muttering something incoherent. So don't say a word. Least He thinks you are answering a voice in your head." Hawke said directly to Fenris turning to face him. Fenris took note that Varric didn't hear a thing Hawke just said. "Damn. It takes fifthteen people to try and take out a single guard? Shit. How did Hawke manage that?" Varric said turning to Fenris. "I am unsure Varric." The elf responded. "I just let the dumbfucks come to me. Then I gut them like pigs to a slaughter." Hawke said with a creepy laugh. Varric turned to Hawke. "Well. He finds something amusing. Probably the corpses. Hey. Fenris. Want to head over to the Hanged Man for a pint?" Varric asked. "Maybe another time Varric." Fenris said waving the dwarf off. "Suit yourself, Broody. I'll see you and Hawke tomorrow." Varric siad with a wave as he walked out of the alleyway.

"How is it that he still doesn't hear you?" Fenris questioned.

"The dwarf is smart. But he isn't a genious. He doesn't have the compacity to understand. Unlike you, Elf." Hawke spoke while toying with the bits of meat hanging from his headgear.

"Is it because of that drink?"

"Some of it yes. You had the ability to understand before the drink. You just didn't get the full meaning behind some of my words. Reason why I wanted you to drink it so badly. The drink isn't entirely made of poison you know."

"I see. Question if I may."

"What is it?"

"Why did you chose me?"

"Other than the obvious. You are smarter than the rest of that lot put together. Not counting Aveline and the Dwarf."

"Well. That's flattering..."

"It is a simple observation. Most assume I am nothing but muscle with no brain to function in a normal civil discussion. If they knew just how intelligent I was. Their brains would give out from trying to wrap around the idea in itself."

"It is overwhelming for people to discover just how knoweldgeable you truely are. I was baffled by it after I found out. My first impression of you was strict and hostile. Your appearance was daunting yet you command respect with each breath you take. You would make a perfect magister if you were a mage."

"I don't like magic, but I can't live without it either. There would be no fun in the world. Besides. Magic can't fully heal a person who is broken." Hawke said as he started to finally clean himself off.

"..." Fenris tilted his head slightly. What was that suppose to mean? Sure magic has its benefits and faults. In some way Hawke was right. Fenris was about to say something in responce but Hawke spoke first.

"This conversation is over, elf. I suggest we find something else to do."

Fenris nodded lightly as Hawke walked to stand beside him. The blood still visable on the sharp spikes jutting out from the larger man's hair. "Aveline wants you to be at the Viscount's Keep tomorrow." Fenris said unsure of what else to say in that moment. "I know. I heard her." Hawke replied as he started walking. Fenris felt the silence of the walk slowly circle around him as they made their way to the front of the Hanged Man. "After checking in with Aveline. Do you want to come by for a visit?" Fenris asked looking up at the larger man through the fringe of his hair. He watched the man quietly. Taking note on how dark and somber the other man's hair was compared to the nearly pale ghost like skin of the man's face. A startling differance compared to his own shock ivory hair and dusky skin lined with trials of shimmering light blue lines of lyrium. How was that man Fereldan if his skin was so pale? His sister had slightly tanned skin akin to those who come from the country. Just like the refugees, whom where from Fereldan as well. Fenris jumped slightly as Hawke's dark voice cut through the air in response to Fenris's question. "Why the fuck not. Not like I have anything better to do." Fenris nodded in acknowledgement as he turned to walk through the closed Lowtown market back to Hightown. "Elf. Why don't you meet my Mother. She would enjoy tending to other person." Hawke said without so much as looking at Fenris. "I... Of course." Fenris said turning to catch up with Hawke as he walked to the slums of Lowtown. _'Does this make me his friend?'_ Fenris wondered to himself. "So. Hawke... Does..." Fenris started before he thought about what to say. "This mean I am a more tursted companion?" He seemed to ask. Hawke didn't give much thought before answering, "Not really. You only have my respect. And my interest. But a friend... Friends just get in the way and make people weak. I am just using you to make Mother stop pestering me about getting friends." The large man spoke. "Well. At least you're honest about it." Fenris scowled slightly. "Anyway. What of Aveline? Is she not your friend?" He prodded. "No. She is family. Considering that she lived with my family for six months before getting the job as a guard. She says we are friends. It makes her feel better to think she can help and protect me." Said Hawke. Fenris tilted his head slightly. "Is there a way by chance I do manage to befriend you?" He continued to question. "The moment I befriend you will result in someone in my family dieing. That is how Aveline manage to go about becoming part of the family. Carver died... Aveline merely took his place..." The man droned soon falling silent as he ascended the stairs to Gamlen's hovel. Fenris decided it was best to remain quiet. After all the man's past is his own. He should not pry at Hawke least it would result in the large man ignoring him.

Hawke opened the door to the house and was quickly greeted by his mother. "There you are Jake. Bethany said you would be late." Leandra said walking over to her son and reached for the head gear. "Jake. You're covered in blood!" She started pulling her hand back. "I... Am fine Mother. I dealt with some thugs earlier. Also. A stray elf followed me home." Said Hawke as he rolled his shoulders ignoring Fenris's remark. "You asked me to come, Hawke." Fenris hissed standing behind Hawke in the door way. Leandra got curious as to who it was. Hawke moved and walked to the fire place. Hawke set down his battle axe. Leandra watched as she saw Fenris finally walk into the house. He bowed to her. "Madam." He spoke softly keeping his voice and head low. Why? He wasn't sure. He assumed Hawke's mother was just as demanding. Why he thought that was unsure. "What mannors! Aw sweetie you don't have to be so formal. After all. I am not even proper!" Leandra said dusting off her old dress. As if trying to look presentable. "Please do make yourself welcome. You must be Fenris. Jake refers to you as Elf. Bethany told me. Jake should really call you by your name. Is it true he doesn't call any of his friends by their names?" She asked. Hawke snorted a bit. "We... are not really his friends. As he says. But it is fine. I have been called worse." Fenris responded. "Mother is very iffy about the whole not calling you lot by ya'lls names. She is very presistant. Like you, Elf." Hawke said quickly. Fenris looked at Leandra to see her responce to him but she said nothing. _'That's right. They don't hear him when he speaks quickly. They assume he is muttering. Just like how Varric did.'_ Fenris thought to himself with interest. Hawke spoke slowly in the next instant. "If you are finished... With conversing with my Mother. You can leave." Leandra turned to Hawke and shushed him. "Fenris can stay as long as he wants. Now be hospitable. He is a guest in our home after all." Leandra turned back to Fenris and ushered him further into the house then closing the door behind him. "Thank you...Ma'am." Fenris said with a nod. "Oh Dear why don't you call me Leandra." Fenris gave another nod. He watched as Hawke sat down and Leandra walking over to him. _'So Hawke's given name is Jake. Usurper of Thrones... Fitting name for that man. His presense in a room practically demands respect as he imbodies power in the physical form. If the man truely wanted to. He could run this town... And then some.'_ Fenris observed silently. He watched as Leandra took the headgear off of Hawke. It was an eye patch of sorts. Made completely out of metal. It was rather like a strange mask for half the man's face. It made the elf curious on what layed exactly beneath the other man's ebony hair.

For the rest of the night. Leandra insisted that Fenris spend the night. She even suggested that Hawke share his room. Which the man let off a disapproving growl but he didn't argue with his mother. Fenris walked into the small room that held a large bed. It was obvious that Leandra and Bethany gave Hawke the biggest bed. Which groaned under the man's weight. Then again it was very old. "You can sleep in the bed. If you truely wish to spend the night." Hawke said without slowling his speech. "Well. Your mother was rather insistant. She wouldn't let me leave." Fenris responded. He then realized that Hawke offered his bed. "Wait. There is no other bed..." Fenris said as the tips of his ears turned red slightly. Hawke reached under the bed and pulled out a smaller mattress. Well that made things less awkward. Fenris really didn't want to sleep next to the large man. Not that there was anything wrong. It wasn't like they were the opposite sex. It just seemed strange to share a bed with another man. Especially with one who made his interests known. Fenris shuffled in his spot as Hawke put some clean bandages under his long hair on the right side. He wasn't facing Fenris so the elf didn't exactly see what laid beneath the hair. Hawke then laid down on his back on the larger bed letting off a grunt. Fenris sighed and pulled the smaller mattress away from the bed. Now having an odd fear of what could happen if Hawke ever rolled out of bed. Fenris didn't want to wake up being crushed by that man. He laid down and kept his armor on. Just the same as Hawke. It was strange to be sleeping in a house with other people in it. He shrugged and soon fell to sleep. A strange feeling of peace easing into the small room around him.

Hawke listened as Fenris's breathing evened out. Indicating he was asleep. He turned his head to look at the smaller man. What was he doing? Why was he letting that damn bastard elf get close to him? Why did he enjoy the blasted bastard's presence? Hawke frowned as he growled. He needed to remind himself not to get close to the damn elf. If he ended up getting close to that elf. Then he would surely became weak like he did all those years ago. Friends just slow people down and get in their way. He didn't want having to play babysitter to the stray. He needed to finish getting the money to fund the Expedition and ditch the group of people who continue to follow him about. He forced himself to shut the walls surrounding his heart to close even more tightly than before. He didn't want anyone getting close to him. He didn't want to be weak. His interactions with the elf was far enough as it was. He could not let it go any further. Now. If only he could stay true to it. A part of him wanted the company but the other part wanted to hide. He growled as he turned over and went into a sleepless night of tossing and turning. His mind racing with feelings and desires not entirely welcomed. The concept of friends... To have them again... He couldn't. He just couldn't risk it. He would rather have enemies. Those he could kill when they angered him but friends? You can't kill a friend and not feel anything. Even he was not as heartless as he appeared. Which only made Hawke loathe himself even more. Building the wall around his heart even higher and thicker than before. What was he suppose to be anyway? Was he a friend? Or a foe? For that group of people. He wasn't so sure himself. This... Needs to be rectified. Before it is too late. Before... There is no turning back...

Sleep finally catching up to him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Fade Dreamscapes

 _Aurthor's Note : The concept of how two people who connect with each other, end up being able to venture into each other's dreams. Thought this might be interesting to dabble with. Fenris meets Hawke in his dream. Dreams never make sense._

Fenris opened his eyes and was greeted with a strange scene. Wasn't he in the woods of Seheron moments ago? He stood off a concrete bench in some strange town. Wait. What was this place? He felt like he was dreaming. Yet it was so real. His dreams seem to shift and change between the past and some strange future. He assumed it was a future. Just glimpses of a small village. He sighed as people walked past him. He didn't know anyone here. There were no magisters. This was not Tevinter. No lush gardens with golden statues of old gods. No stuffy noblemen with slaves. He looked around as he walked to follow those people. There was some sort of commotion on the far side of the village. Should he bother to investigate? Then he saw someone he recognized. It was Hawke. This strange dream became stranger. He never dreamed of the man before. He dreamt of the others in the Hanged Man before but never of Hawke. Fenris wondered towards the larger man. But the closer he got the smaller Hawke became. He was a young boy. Like a boy in his teenage years. Around fifthteen maybe. He held an axe in his hand. He was covered in blood. Despite Hawke being smaller he still had bulk to him. Again looking older than he truely was. The scene before Fenris changed suddenly as he got within range to Hawke's younger self. The sky darkened as it bled black. There was a moon with a reddish tint. Fire erupted from the ground, trees and shrubs of the town road. The other people disappeared. There was only Hawke and him left. Fenris looked closer at Hawke. He had the spiked headgear. His hair stopping at his shoulder instead of the middle of his back. It covered the right side of his face but was a bit shorter. A rough stubble on his chin. Hawke stood there like a statue. Fenris took caution as he approach the lad. Fenris then walked to stand in front of the boy. The boy was slightly talker than he was. The blood that covered him seemed to drip and swirl about him as if carried by some unforseen wind. The wounds on his body weren't from self defense. They were self inflicted. Fenris couldn't help but reach out to move the headgear. He was curious. The moment he touched the twisted metal spikes. Hawke's hand shot up and grabbed his wrist causing Fenris to let out a rather undignified yelp. The scene around him went up in the blaze of fire that surrounded them.

Fenris opened his eyes as he gazed upon the new scene before him. Now where was he? He never seen a place like this. The grass under his feet was crimson akin to blood. The trees surrounding him wept a thick dark liquid unlike rain. Huge metallic chains strecthed across the violet sky disappearing into the heavens. The sun was blazing as fire erupted from it. It was so close. So bright. Scorching part of the earth in a valley of fire and brimstone. Fenris shrunk back into the woods behind him. He turned from the valley and looked into the dark forest. Vines of thorns and brambles twisted their way across a worn path. The elf glanced around himself at the trees. They didn't look like trees exactly. The were twisted into various shapes and some looked remains of creatures he has only seen in trophy rooms back in Danarius's estate. Fenris ventured down the path doing his best to avoid the vines. After walking for a while he stopped. He wasn't even sure where he was going. He looked down at his feet and sighed. What was this place? A voice cut through the darkness then. "What are you doing here?" Fenris jerked slightly and looked around for the voice. It was a child's voice. Yet it sounded familiar. Fenris turned to face the front of himself and paused as he saw the owner of the voice. A small child as young as five. He had bright blue eyes like the ocean. Hair as black a night itself. He stood a little ways away from Fenris. The child held a small throwing axe. This kid had to be Hawke, but how? This kid smiled with innocence. The child spoke up again. "Are you here to play with me? I'm Jake! Father says I am going to be big and strong when I grow up. Hey what's your name?" The boy chirped happily. Fenris stared at the child. So it was Hawke. As a kid. Fenris soon answered the boy. "Fenris." The mini version of Hawke smiled gently. "I like your name. Wanna play with me? I get lonely here by myself..." The boy frowned sadly. It couldn't hurt to keep this kid company could it? Fenris nodded to the boy and the kid's face lite up. "Awesome! Finally someone to play with me!" The boy jumped up and down in excitment before turning around and darting off. "Try to catch me!" He yelled back. Fenris reached out to stop him but the kid had ran off. Fenris sighed and took off running. He kept turning this way and that dodging limbs and vines trying to find the kid version of Hawke until he stopped in a clearing. What was this place? There sitting in the middle of the clearing was the Hawke he knew. His sheer size overshadowing the the small raised hill he sat upon. What was strange was that he sat inside a cage with a massive lock on it. Dark vermilion water surrounded his little island. Hawke seemed to be asleep and faced away from Fenris. Fenris walked towards him. "Don't go near him, please!" The smaller version of Hawke yelled. Fenris turned to see the child. Hawke or -as the kid calls himself- Jake walked up to him and grabbed at his guantleted hand. "Don't wake him up. Fenris." Jake begged. "Why not? I thought you said you were alone?" Fenris questioned. Jake tried to pull Fenris away from the cage. "If he wakes up he screams. Bad things try to hurt him. I am alone because I am not allowed to wake him up. He hurts when he is awake. The bad people talk to him. Make him cry. Make him scream." Jake explained. Fenris turned fully and knelt before the child. "What people? Who trys to hurt him?" Fenris asked with concern.

"They live in the valley. They are very mean and angry."

"Who are they?"

"They used to be my friends. Til they changed."

"Your friends?"

"Something happened and made them mean."

"What happened?" Fenris asked as Jake looked to where Hawke was. Fenris turned to look as well. His breath caught. Hawke was now facing him. Pressed up against the cage as if sniffing.

"He knows you're here..." Jake started as he slunk back towards the trees.

"Wait! What's going on?" Fenris asked looking back and forth between the two. Jake curled up on himself as Hawke let out a loud roar. His eye snapping open. **"Elf!"** His voice caused the area to shake violently as it boomed across the clearing. Fenris fell to the ground onto his back and pushed away. What was going on? The area started to feel hotter as Fenris broke out in a sweat. The clearing's grass died and withered as the trees caught fire. Then he saw what looked a demon. It was green with a long twisting body and razor sharp claws but had a feminine feature of a woman. Her chest heaving as she slashed at the cage. Was that a desire demon?! Beside it came a motlen creature resembling a what looked like a male elf. Where these demons? Or something more? Hawke let out a scream as the two creatures attacked him. Fenris glanced behind him but the boy Jake was gone. Fenris stood up and pulled at his sword only to realize he didn't have a weapon on him. He growled in frustration as he let out a roar of his own gaining the attention of demon like creatures. They turned towards him and began stalking their way to where he stood. Well shit. That wasn't thought out. Hawke was in a cage while Fenris himself was out in the open. As the creatures closed in on him. Fenris was in Fight-or-Flight mode. He couldn't possibly fair against these things with out a weapon and his markings refused to wake. So he turned tail and ran for it. The creatures followed him in persuit. Turning everything they touched to either stone -green female- or ash -the molten male. Fenris dropped down to avoid being slashed by the female and then dodged to the left as to not be incinerated by the burning male. He then felt someone grab his arm as he was jerked from the two demonic creatures. He turned to land a punch straight into Hawke's face. Fenris shrunk back slightly. "Elf... What the fuck are you doing here?" Hawke barked. Fenris took deep breaths and started saying to himself. "This can't be real. This all can't be real!" He kept saying over and over. Hawke shook him hard enough to make the elf dizzy. "Of course this shit isn't real. You're fucking dreaming, dumbass!" Hawke yelled.

"How is this possible!? This is the fade! I am no mage! Neither are you! How is this even possible?!"

"You don't have to be a mage to accidently wake up in a fade dream. I have been putting up with this for my entire life." Fenris glared at Hawke then.

"Are you a mage..." Fenris questioned as he tried to push the need to let his rage and anger take over.

"No. I just have this fucked up relationship with the Fade. After all magic and dragons fucked me up." Hawke growled.

"Then how am I awake in the Fade?!"

"Because you're sleeping in the same room as I am. ... Those things are gone now. And it is time for you to wake up..." Hawke said as he pulled back his hand and turned it into a fist.

"NO! You are not going to assualt me." Fenris pulled away and backed up into a tree. It dripped onto his face."Ughh! Disgusting!" He gagged wiping off the slime.

"Look you hate being aware in the Fade. Might as well wake you up."

"But not at the cost of you busting my skull in!"

"You punched me in the face first elf..."

"That was an accident!" Hawke rolled his eye at Fenris. "Just... wait, Hawke. ugh. Considering that I am awake in the Fade. I might not get this chance again."

"You might not. Considering this never happened before with anyone outside my Family."

"So your entire family goes through this?"

"Yes. Considering magic runs in our blood and all. My family tree is plagued with magic abilities. The ability to share dreams is the strongest one. I am sure my Uncle Gamlen is shitting himself. Mother and Bethany have tea parties and stay in a mansion. Wearing skirts and dresses. They try to avoid my dreams... But Mother can see my dreams without having to actualy be in it."

"..."

"They probably know your here. Normaly when those things come after me. My family tends to run them off."

"That child I saw."

"That was me. Mother keeps him around. She enjoys playing with him. Even if he is dead and gone. She probably snatched him up when those things came."

"What of you then?"

"I try to not be awake in my dreams. Mainly because I have constant nightmares."

"So I stumbled into your dreams is what you are saying."

"Pretty much."

"Wonderful... Do you remember anything when you wake up?"

"Not really. I barely remember what is going on right now. All I will remember is you being in my dream and nothing more. Then again I have been stuck in the fade for a long time without being able to bring the knowledge back with me to reality."

"So you won't be able to remember what I do?" Fenris questioned. Part of him wants to explore this while he has a chance, the other wants him to wake up.

"No. I will remember but only in the fade. When I wake up I will have no recollection of it. It is like amnesia."

"Good to know... Can I explore this place?"

"Sure go ahead. Not like I give a fuck." Hawke growled.

Fenris nodded and stood up. Hawke followed him. Things began to change around him again but it is like it reset itself. Never noticing the body still sitting in the cage. He walked out of the forest and was brought back to the town he had first saw. It was hard to imagen that he was awake the entire time. As he walked further he took a breath. He wanted to ask Hawke to clarify something for him. Now would be a good time to ask considering this Hawke responded to all his questions without going silent. He stop and turned around. But before he could ask Hawke slammed full force into him. The force of the hit startled Fenris so badly that it torn him from his sleep.

Fenris sat up with a gasp as he pawed at himself franticly. He sighed heavily as he relaxed. He looked around and realized he was no longer dreaming. Hawke lay on the bed deep in sleep. He growled lightly as he snored. Fenris frowned as he tried to process what just happened. He didn't even get to ask. He pushed himself back to lean against the wall. Maybe it was for the better that he didn't question Hawke's intentions. He also wanted to know who Hawke's friends were. Bethany said Hawke didn't have friends yet the child version said they were his friends. Wonderful. He had yet more questions about the large man. Seemed Hawke have quite a past just like him. Fenris had so many questions.

Fenris looked back at Hawke. The large man turned to a point where he was facing Fenris. His hair falling infront of the rest of his face. For some odd reason Fenris felt like he was guarding his master. The dream was just there to torment him. Wake him. He shook his head furisouly. No. Hawke wasn't a magister. He was just a deeply disturbed man. A man who doesn't listen to anyone other than his mother. A man who demands respect. A man people fear. Fenris himself was sure he wasn't afraid of this man anymore. Though he could not say he was this man's friend. Yet here he was in the man's house. Technically his Uncle's. Still. He was allowed to be there. He watched Hawke's breathing as he pulled his legs towards him to lean against his knees. He simply watched as Hawke growled and turned rather violently in his sleep. The large man grunted slightly before hissing as he settled once again on his back. Fenris took notice of a cut across Hawke's arm where there was no armor. He must have clawed himself from turning. The cut was deep as it bleed. Hawke didn't awaken. Fenris looked to the side table. He reached for a small cloth to use. He figured it wouldn't hurt for him to tend to it. Why he was going to tend to the large man. Even he didn't know. He picked it up and turned back to Hawke. He stopped as he saw the cut slowly close. "What in the Maker..." Fenris slowly said as he watched the cut sealed itself. The blood seemed to reverse it's descent and flow back into the cut as it closed. "The fuck..." Was all Fenris said as he set the cloth down and backed up against the wall again. What was this man? He never saw something like that happen with a warrior. Then he remembered something he once over heard in Tevinter.

There was a type of warrior that was very hard to come by in Thedas. Warriors known as Reavers. They were rare breed of warrior. They feast upon the blood of their enemies in order to heal themselves. The closer they are to death the stronger and more dangerous they become. They tend to deal damage to themselves and gain power from the loss of their own blood. People call them cannibals. Void destined warriors. They are feared for their ability. He remembered Danarius wished to have such a warrior. He paid very high to get one. But the person he dealt with screwed him over and took the money. Danarius had the man killed. Danarius then went about trying to find a way to somehow turn Fenris into one. Fenris was lucky because Danarius valued him too much to risk. Fenris heard that for a warrior to become a reaver. They first have to be near death and then brought back the moment they die after being forced to drink drake's blood. Most die before ever becoming one.

Fenris's eyes widen in realization. In the dream Hawke blamed magic and dragons for the way he was. Did that mean that Hawke died all those years ago? That had to be the reason why Hawke behaved the way he does! Another fact of Reavers came into Fenris's head. Reavers are rumored to be unstable. Unable to control their desire for blood. Another reason they were very rare. Most were executed for being mindless murderers. Stories of how they can destroy entire families in mere hours. They feed on the lifeforce of others and grow stronger with each kill. Most reavers are rumored to be hyperintelligent. They do more damage than assassins. If a reaver was to ever be controled by a blood mage. The consequences could mean the end of an entire citystate. Fenris had questions now. Questions he wanted to ask Hawke.

The only questions that Fenris had come into his mind at this point was. Why Hawke was trying to hide his ability. Why hasn't Hawke done anything to him or the others in the group yet? Reavers are not known to care for others. Only themselves. And their need. Unless. Hawke is using that drink to hold himself over. Was Hawke merely putting up with everyone's presence? His hostile nature gave insight to his brutality. Then Fenris recalled some of the things Hawke has muttered when he believes no one is listening.

 _'Wonderful. That stray bastard elf is following me. He owes me more than he is worth.'_

That was about him. Fenris cringed.

 _'If that mage pisses me off one more time. I swear I will rip that damn tongue out of his mouth. Mage's plight my ass.'_

Clearly about Anders.

 _'Damn girl won't shut up. She is so close. I could snap her dainty little neck...'_

Merrill.

 _'Fucking dwarf. If he wasn't part of that damn expedition. I would of killed him by now.'_

Varric obviously.

 _'Wreched little whore... So persistent to flaunt herself. Disease ridden bitch...'_

Hawke spoke of Isabela.

Hawke had muttered all those things when he walked far enough from the group. He never would have guessed that Fenris overheard. Fenris then realized the whole reason why Hawke wished to have Fenris understand him. He must of found out. Hawke had stopped muttering to himself. Then at the Bone Pit. Of course. That was the only reason Hawke wished for him to drink that foul liquor. Was Hawke trying to forewarn Fenris? What if after the whole Deep Roads venture was done. What then? Would Hawke abandon them? Or worse yet. Kill them. Fenris shook his head. His mind spun at the thoughts. It confused him to no end! As smart as he was. He couldn't help but feel small and ignorant. What exactly did he get himself into? He held his breath. Whatever it was. He couldn't run. He owed that man a debt. Fenris already swore he would pay it back. He never goes back on his word. If he did then who would he be? A man is only as good as his word. Besides. If Hawke truely wish to cause him harm. He damn sure wouldn't stab him in the back. Hawke was too forthright about things. He is always dead honest. Fenris held onto that thought with a sigh as he tried to relax.

He soon let off a yawn as he soon began to fall asleep once again. But this time Hawke wasn't there. Nor did Fenris feel like he was dreaming. He simply dreamed. The places that shown where placed he had been before. Tevinter, Seheron, and Kirkwall. Mainly Kirkwall.

 **A/N Appearently This is a real possiblity according to Dragon Age Origins.**

 **Fade walkers are people who know they are dreaming.**

 **Though unlike Dreamers. They can not control the fade.**

 **Very interesting fact :3 R &R please. **

**Else Hawke gets upset and tries to stab me. *Hides***


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 Decisive Actions

 _A/n I always loved the Reaver trait tree. It was so much fun to play with. Though I wish the members of the party reacted accordingly to your character who choose the reaver talent tree._

 _Just so you know. I don't own Bioware. Wish I did though. I'd have a field day. :3_

It had been a few days pass since spending the night with Hawke and his family. Yet the weird dreams Fenris had still haunted him. There was no way he woke up during it. Maybe it was some demons and spirits messing with him. He hardly knows anything about the Fade other than it being the realm of spirits, demons, and mages. If it was up to him, he rather just go without sleep to avoid the Fade altogether. He was sure that what ever those dreams were, was that it was not real. He also assumed he dreamed that strange anomaly that happened with Hawke. The way the man's blood reversed itself and went back into the cut. Surely all a dream. A cruel trick played on him by demons wishing to see his reaction. He sighed. Maybe it wasn't a dream. He knew what reavers were. He knew they were few left in the world. But whether or not Hawke was. There was no proof. Fenris reassured himself it was just his mind playing a trick on him from lack of sleep due to the strange dreams. And that there was no evidence that could label Hawke a reaver. After all. Reavers are harbingers of death and destruction with no sympathy for others. They also are not entirely family-orinented. Nor due they have the will to tolerate others without ripping them to shreds just for the fun.

Fenirs sighed slowly letting it out in one long breath. He was tired. So very tired. They had just about enough trouble. Doing some sort of run for a guy named Martin. Hawke didn't like having everyone follow him. So only three people went with him at a time. Bethany an obvious choice no matter what. Fenris was chosen as well as Varric. They first went to the docks looking for some Orlesian Port Authority Seal. At least that **was** what was said anyway. Fenris really couldn't focus. They talked to some dock workers. And by they. It was really Hawke who talked. Went to see the harbor master next. Some assistance Adin wanted to be paid in order to remember where such a cargo was placed. All that got the boy was a knife pressed tightly against his throat. The boy quickly blurted out what needed to be heard and Hawke dropped him like an empty bottle of rum. By the way. Hawke normally hurls those to ground. Which was the same as he hurled that boy to the ground without much care. Bethany had apologized for her brother and scurried off after him. Varric and Fenris remained quite. They had then went to the warehouse and was stopped by some scruffy looking guards. One of them had the nerve to threaten Hawke. Hawke backhanded him so hard. The guy's neck snapped from the force of impact. The other two guards moved out of Hawke's way. They had then fought a bunch of supicious looking creeps inside the warehouse before it was all over in a matter of minutes. Fenris had watched Hawke closely during the fight. The man hardly got hit. Which was pretty damn impressive. If Fenris had anything to say about it. They found the cargo. It was a bunch of poisons and venoms of all kinds. Hawke gave it a once over before turning and heading back to the Hanged Man. After telling Martin about his cargo they had seperated. Hence the reason Fenris sat alone in the broken down mansion.

Fenris was beyond the point of caring whether or not he should stay up. He took the main body of armor off along with his guantlets and embraced the bed with a sigh as he plopped down onto it. He had made sure that everything was secure before hand. Soon he drifted off to sleep. Fenris was not granted enough time to doze as he awoke to feeling a very strange presence in his room. Strange yet familar. He was sure he locked the front door, right? Fenris slowly slid his hand onto a dagger hidden under his pillow. "That blade will not protect you from me, Elf." A dark voice droned. Fenris closed his eyes and held onto the dagger tighter. He wasn't exactly sure if he could ever relax around the giant of a man known as Hawke. He sighed as he released the dagger and sat up. Unaware that his jerkin was open. He looked over to where Hawke stood. The large man was standing before the fireplace. Fenris sat on the side of the bed and got up. He felt unarmed. He looked down and quickly pulled his jerkin closed and even put on his armor once again. He started to make his way cautiously over to Hawke. Standing on the side that Hawke could see him. "What are you doing here?" Fenris asked looking up at the man. "Simple. The reason, why you were contiously staring at me during the battle earlier today. You should damn well know there is no time for distractions. Or were you planning on attacking me instead but failed to get the chance." He stated looking over to Fenris. "I wasn't planning on attacking you, Hawke." Fenris said feeling slightly insulted that the man would even suggest. "Then why praytell were you openly staring at me?" He growled. Fenris took a breath before answering. "I was trying to understand what you are." Hawke didn't seem to be react to the answer. "I am many things. Though if you wish to understand me more. Staring at me will not give you an answer." He said slowly before heading towards the door. "You should really lock your back door. Least you get a suprise entry." He said with a slight laugh which caused Fenris to flush. For some odd reason Fenris thought Hawke wasn't talking about the door. Before he could say anything though, Hawke spoke up once more rather succinctly. "We have another job to do. Move it, Elf." Hawke ducked down to walk through the door. Fenris sighed heavily as he went and picked up his greatsword. Soon following suit after the large man.

Turns out they had to go deal with some escaped criminal for some filthy magistrate. They had walked past the Hanged Man and Varric met up with them. Merrill had wanted to go as well. Hawke had groaned and made a very whispered complaint about _'Damned stray elves.'_ Whether it was just Merrill or Fenris included. Was unsure. Fenris simply shrugged it off and made sure to keep a respectable distance away from the moronic wrist slitting flower frolicing elvhen mage. Just the other day. Merrill had the audacity to ask him to go frolicing with her. Just because he was elven didn't mean he wanted to act frivolous. He just wasn't that kind of elf. He sighed once again as he made sure to keep Varric evenly between him and that blood mage. They past a few city guards on their way out of the southern city gates. The location of where the criminal was hiding was somewhere near the Wounded Coast. Fenris frowned a scowl as he began to feel hot dirt and sand press up beneath his feet. "Wonderful. Traipsing through dirt. How can the Dalish stand it?" He seemed to ask distainfuly. Merrill glanced at him. "Do you like anything?" She asked slightly upset by his tone. Fenris growled a repsonce, "I **like** quiet." Merrill gave a frown. Varric just had to say something. "You know. This nature thing is growing on me..." He started. Merrill smiled a bit till Varric finished. "Like a tumor." Merrill frowned and it seemed her ears dropped a bit as she leaned forward grumpily. She stood up straight and walked faster to catch up with Hawke. Though Hawke's strides were long and calculated. He was much further ahead of the group even while he walked at his slowest speed. The large man could leave the other three behind if he so wanted. All he had to do was take off running. But he didn't see a need in running to every single destination. Unlike so many others. Though at the moment. Hawke was just trying to drown out the insistent noise spewing from all three of their damn mouths. When they had finally shut up. He became aware of the elvhen mage trying to match his stride.

It only took a few hours to reach the area. There were guards standing about outside the cave. Hawke slowly gazed at each one. He sneered. "Lazy fucks." He said lowly as he made his way over to them. One turned and looked up at him. Rather pig headed looking. Auburn hair and jade eyes all smushed together on an overly large square head. "You the one the magistrate sent?" He asked. Hawke remained silent. "Right. Heard about you. Not much of a talker. Listen. Just go in there and bring the guy out so we can take him to the magistrate." The man said. Just then an elf with dirty blonde hair stormed up. "That bastard is to taken in alive?!" He yelled. Hawke couldn't see the elf from his position. Turning his head till his horrid oceanic eye focused on the elf. The elf shivered but walked closer. "That bastard is a murderer!" He said loudly. The guard turned to him. "Back off elf. We followin' the magistrate's orders. Now be off with ya." The man said. "You are just trying to give that murdering bastard a chance to escape!" Raged the blonde elf. Hawke growled. "Shut the fuck up. Both of you." Both men looked at him. Hawke held his eye tightly closed as he growled before opening it again and staring directly at the elf. "The fuck are you." It wasn't a question but more like a demand. The elf slumped forward a bit. "Elren. Sir. Please. That bastard needs to be killed. He takes elven children and murders them. He took my daughter Lia in there!" He pleaded. Hawke seemed to pause his breath. As if holding it. He turned fully to the elf. "Elven children..." He murmured. Elren took a breath. "Yes. That monster takes elven children and beats them. And then murders them! I am sure he already killed my daughter! And these men won't do anything about it!" He said trying to fight against crying. The guard stepped towards the elf. "We are not going against our orders!" He shouted. Hawke's eye slide over to the guard. "Is this accusation true. If so then why only elven... children..." He slowly spoke through clenched teeth. "Because no one thinks twice when an elven child goes missing!" Elren hissed. The guard growled. "Oy, now elf. Back off. We bringin' him in and that's that!" Hawke's hand twitched as he let out a pained hiss.

The guard and elf look at him as does his companions. "I _**hate**_ people who harm children... Only... One thing I want to do..." He snarled accentuating the word 'hate' as he turned towards the cave. "You bleedin' mad if you go against the magistrate's orders!" The guard said jabbing his finger at Hawke's face. Which was a very piss poor choice of action. Hawke's hand shot up and clamped tightly onto the guard's head. The other guards turned towards them. Hawke picked the guard up by his head before rougly tossing him onto his ass. "Don't put your hand in my face." He said slowly as his mouth twisted into a dangerous scowl baring his teeth. "The magistrate can sod off and choke on my greatsword. For all I fucking care." He said walking off towards the cave. Merrill tilted her head. "He doesn't have a greatsword. He has an axe." She whispered aloud. "I don't think he was refering to his weapon, Daisy." Varric said following after Hawke along with Merrill. "Huh?" She asked. "Uh. Think about it Daisy." The dwarf said simply. Fenris caught on to what was implied. He shook his head as he followed.

The group entered into the cave that looked more like an old corridor of some old thaig. Lava and fire spitting everywhere. Varric let out a breath and fanned himself. Merrill pulled at her scarf to loosen it. Fenris shifted uncomfortably, his leather jerkin seemed to instantly stick to his skin and markings. Hawke on the other hand seemed unphased by the sweltoring heat that blasted into his face. He merely pressed on. The four of them went from room to room clearing out demons, arcane horrors, bandits, spiders, and skeletens. They soon went through one room and saw a small girl sitting on the ground in a long corridor. Hawke walked up to her.

"You must be Lia." Hawke said softly. A drastic change from his normal hostile tone. Which shocked all three of his followers.

"H-how did you know?" Lia asked looking up at the large human.

"Your father. ... I see no visible damage done... Were you touched?" He asked making a gesture the girl seemed to understand.

"Um. No Kelder didn't touch me." She said as she stood.

"Kelder."

"Yes. The man who took me. He said if I didn't go he would hurt my family."

"How did you escape?"

"I didn't. He let me go. He got mad at me and hit me. Told me I was nothing. Then he started crying. I asked if he was okay. He pushed me and told me to run."

"He is a criminal, Lia."

"But, he isn't! He says demons make him do it! You see, he doesn't want to hurt anyone. The demons make him do these things."

Varric and Fenris both face palm in that next moment. Hawke rolled his eye.

"There are a lot of bad and nasty people in this world. Completely's demon free." Varric said eyeing Hawke warily.

"She is just a child and does not understand. Her pity is admirable. If misplaced." Fenris said.

"He might be facing demons of his own. But they are not forcing his hand. Now get out of here. The way is clear." Hawke said.

"Please don't hurt him." She asked before hurrying through the door.

Hawke began walking further into the burning hallway as fire sprouted from the lava. The other three following him close behind. They soon come to a room where a man was sitting down against a pillar holding his head. The man stood up.

"And you... Must be Kelder." Hawke droned, though there was a slight growl present.

"I am. Did my father send you?"

"Let me guess... Magistrate is your father." Hawke eyed the man as his hand twitched.

"Yes. He is a good man but he can't help me."

"Demons..." Hawke spoke slowly before his face went neutral.

"Yes. They make me hurt them."

"The elven children."

"Yes. They are just so beautiful. The demons are jealous. They make me hurt them and they hate it when the children cry!"

"So you murder them for being beautiful."

"No! The demons do! Father has tried to help me. Keep me from what they make me do! But he can't! The circle doesn't help either. They say that there are no demons!"

"..." Hawke watch as Kelder began to turn this way and that while pacing back an forth. Hawke seemed to be losing interest in what the man was saying as a single thought began to run through his head. His vision turning a hazy red hue.

"I can't stop. I can't stop it! I have to do what they say! They're in my head! They want to make bleed them! Bleed dry those beautiful children. I couldn't think of letting them hurt her! She was worried about me! I couldn't! I couldn't let them destroy something so innocent. So pure..." He started rambling before he ran up to Hawke. "Please make them go away!" Hawke's mind instantly screamed kill him. Bleed him. Hawke started to drool slightly.

"He sees the truth of it. Let me-" Fenris couldn't finish his sentence as he watched Hawke lunge forward.

Hawke lunged at Kelder and struck him down with a heavy blow. His oversized serrated guantlets ripping and tearing into the man's chest as blood sprayed across Hawke's face. Hawke didn't blink. His large hand digging further into the man's body. "Father...I-i'm... sor-ry..." Kelder choked out as Hawke shoved his hand further into the man's chest. Merrill covered her mouth as she watched. Varric's eyes widened. Fenris froze as he watched. Hawke's face was calm. He neutral expression ever present. His eye half lidded. He twisted his hand inside Kelder's body till a loud crack resounded throughout the room. Kelder's body went limp as his head lolled forward like a puppet's. Hawke tilted his head to the side and let off a pleased hum. The blood running down his face as he licked his teeth. Smiling sinisterly, he pushed Kelder off roughly with his foot without much care for how the body was treated. Blood cascading from the wound as it pooled around Kelder's body. He stared down at the body. Almost longingly. Before turning to walk back the way they previously came.

Fenris swallowed a bit. He was going to offer to end Kelder's life. Keyword. Was. He was so use to doing that for Danarius. He had figured it would have applied here as well. Normally the leader would never bloodly their hands with such acts. But Hawke. Did it without saying a single word. Hawke did not care about consequences. He just does things the way he saw fit. Fenris turned from the body and followed after Hawke. As did the others. Fenris was stunned by Hawke's actions. He was so decisive. So Sure. He didn't even flinch when the blood splattered across his face. His eye remained open. As if unblinking. Not wanting to miss the carnage he wrought. He was eerily queit during the walk back. Fenris couldn't help but ponder at what went through that giant man's mind.

They came out into the sun and finally out of that sweltoring pit. Lia hugged her father tightly. Elren looked up and smiled at Hawke. "Oh thank you. ... Did you kill that bastard?" He suddenly asked. Hawke glared at Elren. "Yes." Was all Hawke said. Lia looked down as her father walked towards Hawke. "I never thought an elf would ever get justice in this city. Thank you so much. Please take this!" He said handing a pouch of coins to Hawke almost like an offering to a god. Hawke took the pouch of coins and hummed. At least he got fucking paid. The guard went up to him as the elf went off with his daughter. "I feel just a bad for those damn knife-ears. But... Going against the magistrate's orders is suicide." He said. "Do I look like I give a flying fuck of what your damn magistrate thinks?" Hawke said looking at the guard. The guard backed away with his hands up. "Just sayin'." The guard spoke turning and walking away.

The group left the group of guards and headed their way to Kirkwall. Merrill and Varric seemed pleased by the outcome that elven children would never be harmed again. Fenris was just glad a mage was dead. Despite the horrendous display of brutality from Hawke. The sun began to slowly set within the rose greying sky. Almost back to Kirkwall. Almost.

Hawke's hand still dripped with Kelder's blood. Ever twitching slightly. That small twitch began to travel up the man's arm. Almost methodically causing the rest of his body to slightly vibrate. His eye struggled to stay open and focus up ahead. The blood. The sweet succulent smell was beginging to drive him slowly mad. He wanted to lap it up so badly. But he had spectators. He began to press his tongue against the inside of his teeth. Licking the inside of them back and forth. His breathing quickened a bit as he tried desperately to keep in control. There was no where for him to go. Open plains with dust, sand, and clumps of grass scattered here and there. His mind started to swirl with delightfully gruesome images. His pale face turning slightly pink. His mouth opened slightly and hung agaped as drool started to flow past his lips. He could hear it. The blood pulsing. Beating. Thumping. Through their veins. Three unsuspecting victims. Prey following a predator to their own slaughter and damnation. Oh how sweet would their blood taste on his tongue? In truth he was no different than Kelder. He had his own demons to face every day. Just like he was right now. Almost. Almost there. Just a bit further. Before he snaps.

He struggles to control his body and force his hand to a hidden bottle. Pulling it abruptly from it's hiding spot and ripping out the cork and drinking deep gulps. Ravishing the feeling as it sated his growing hunger to turn on his so call companions.

Close. Almost. Too close.

 **A/n I am going to refer to Merrill with the correct term Elvhen since she is Dalish. And Fenris as elven. Elvhen meaning one of the people. Elven meaning elf in general. Since Fenris is not Dalish nor considered 'One of the people.'**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 The Blood's the Proof

 _A/n The picture on the cover is mine. So no steal please? Now on with this trian of insanity and demented goodness!_

Bethany skipped into the tavern behind Varric and Isabela. Fenris standing a short distance from Hawke in the main room. The large man seemed bored out of his mind as he downed the content of the bottle he was nursing. Bethany had hopped up to him and showed him a sheet of paper she had picked up from Hightown. Having went with Varric and Isabela to get something. Fenris and Hawke had stayed in Lowtown. Fenris had just walked to Lowtown. He didn't want to walk all the way back up there right then. He looked over to them from his place near the small fireplace. Hawke leaning heavily against the stone wall. He glanced down at the paper and seemed to growl. Clearly irrated by the paper being thrusted into his line of vision. Bethany's smile faded for a moment. Confused at first before saying, "Oh, right. Sorry, Brother. You don't like that. Well I found us another chance to make some money for the Expedition! See, Brother. I can help!" She said with a smile. It was like she was trying to gain his favor. Hawke stared down at her. "Depends on what it is about. And whether or not you can go." He droned slowly. Bethany nodded before talking again. "We need to find Ghyslain's wife." Hawke tsked as he got off the wall, putting the bottle away into some unseen pocket.

Isabela watching how Hawke's body moved with the action. Hawke wore a very strange type of armor. Dark plum in color. With a spiked chestplate on one side while the leather jerkin itself clinged tightly about his body. Her eyes traveled lower to where the red sash held fast to large tarnished black metal buckles attached to a raven feathered pauldron. The paulron covered the top of a waist cape. Long torn ebony fabric with splatters of blood adorning it. The man's pants were just like the jerkin. Tight fitted. Metal rods bent around the fabric like hip guards. The knee guards were smooth as it tied into tall knee high armored boots. Very plain in design. She couldn't help but wonder what the large man looked like. She smiled. Appearently Hawke was aware of her staring. "What do you want, Whore." He glared at her. She looked up and smirked. "Enjoying the view, Sweet thing." She said. Hawke growled. He muttered something she couldn't hear. Fenris cringed.

He turned from her and walked towards the tavern door. "Bethany. Lead. Elf. Dwarf. Follow." He commanded. Bethany nodded to her brother and hurried out the door being followed by Hawke. Varric glanced at Fenris and smiled before following suit. As did Fenris who kept a neutral face. Isabela pouted but then turned her attention to the bar. As she stepped up to it, the annoying poet walked up to her. She groaned.

Bethany lead the way just like her brother told her. She hummed to herself as she walked through the Lowtown Bazaare. Hawke following her as he eyed every man who casted a glance at his sister. He mentally dared any man to touch her. One had made a move to reach out to her but shrunk back when he saw Hawke bare his teeth. Fenris walked along beside Varric. Varric watched the cape around Hawke's waist trail behind the man. Varric then looked up to where Hawke's long hair was. _'Maker's breath. How can Hawke stand to have hair down to his waist? Has anyone ever grabbed him by the hair before? Heh. If he was skinny like Broody. He would look like a woman. Huh. Now there is an interesting thought. He would be scary looking woman.'_ The dwarf thought. Varric glanced at Fenris. Varric could easily tell that Fenris was on edge for some reason. Varric wondered what could be bothering the elf. Well. Other than Hawke's presence. Varric was even put off by the large human. Though Varric found out that Hawke was just the no-nonsense kind of person. Always direct, firm, and most of the time flat out hateful when having a normal conversation. If one considers him constantly growling while each word is laced with animosity as they drip with contemptment, normal. If one was to compare Hawke to Fenris. Fenris would seem much more friendly and approachable in comparision to Hawke. Who was more likely to bite someone's head off for just saying hello. At least Fenris didn't flat out ignore people. So Varric was more than concerned with how Fenris was feeling. Fenris remained quiet as in deep in thought. Varric couldn't even read the elf's facial expression due to it being so. Neutral. Weird. Normally Fenris is always scowling. Wonder what changed.

The four of them entered Hightown. Bethany looked at the paper then looked around Hightown. She walked past Wordy, who waved. Hawke ignored the dwarf completely. Wordy shrugged as he knew that was just how the human was. Bethany made her way up some stairs while being followed by the three men. When they were on the upper level she spied Ghyslain complaining to two guards. She turned to her brother and pointed at the noble. Hawke followed to the person she was pointing at. He could barely tell what the man looked like from this distance. His face was a blur. Though he could see the gaudy outfit the noble was wearing and scowled. Great. Another noble who wore bright flashy clothing that resembled vomit. He walked his way over to the man and two guards. The guards leaving shaking their heads. Ghyslain threw his hands in the air. "Why are we still paying those sluggards?!" He shouted to no one. "Pay me instead." Hawke said scaring the man. Ghyslain turned around and stared at Hawke. "You? You would find Ninette?" He asked as hope entered his voice.

After conversing with Ghyslain de Carrac for a few minutes. During the conversation, Hawke exspressed his deep disapproval of marriage. Ghyslain had sighed and said it was never always like that. His marriage used to be a joy. He then told Hawke that some whore elf at the Blooming Rose was involved with Ninette. He started to get mad and huffed as he turned around complaining his head was hurting. Hawke turned and left the man. Hawke really didn't like the man. Mainly because he was far less concerned with his wife's disappearance than he had originally let on. Hawke respected women too much to dismiss their presence that easily. Unless they were like Isabela. Though he still respected her because she was willing to be herself. Which took guts. Hawke paused in the Market. He let off a growl as he realized he was starting to get attached to the damn whore. Bethany walked up to him and tugged at his cape. He turned to her. "You said earlier you didn't like marriage." She said. Hawke groaned as he started walking again. "What of it?" He said.

"Mother wants grandchildren though." Bethany said giving him a knowing smile. Hawke frowned.

"That would your job. Bethany."

"I can't though! You scare off every guy I like!" She pouted as she blushed.

"Because they just want sex. Not you."

"How do you know they don't want to be with me? You don't give them a chance!"

"It's in my job description."

"Yes. Scary overprotective older brother. That also leaves the grandchildren job up to you as well." She giggled as Hawke rolled his shoulders.

"If I have kids. They all gonna be bastard spawned." Bethany laughed at her brother then. Varric and Fenris were a bit confused by this display of family humor. Even then, Varric couldn't help but laugh. Strange as it was. It was still humor. Leaving Fenris to contemptlate the whole ordeal.

The group avoided the Merchant's Guild upon Varric's request. He didn't want to deal with his brother. They soon arrived at the Red Latern District where the Blooming Rose was located. Hawke stopped and inspected a banner. "I can see why they call it the Blooming Rose..." He turned from the banner and entered the Rose. Hawke had a bit of difficulty remembering the whore's name. Bethany was all to glad to remind him. "Whatever. He is still a whore." Hawke said stepping into the main area of the Rose. Bethany blushed as she looked around at the workers who were scantly clad. The workers turned to Hawke and stared at him. Their gaze all fell to where Hawke's jerkin covered the front of his pants. Hawke was slightly irked and proud at the same time. He shrugged off the glances and walked further in. "Interesting place..." He slowly said. He stopped as he could smell something very faint. It was familiar. Even over the heavily perfumed building. "Seriously Uncle." He said quiet loudly towards the bar. Bethany looked over to see Uncle Gamlen sputter his drink. Bethany then felt some of the workers staring at her. She absentmindedly pressed herself into her brother's long hair. Completely forgetting about her uncle. "I-i am just here for the drinks!" Gamlen said looking over to his nephew. "Right. And I am here to question a whore." Hawke said honestly. But it still sounded like sarcasm. All the workers had shuddered at his voice. Quickly wondering which one of them he was going to question.

He motioned for one of the workers to come to him. She did. She looked up at him and shuffled. "Where's Jethann." He commanded. She pointed up to the second floor. Hawke turned from her and went up stairs. Having to practically carry his sister who clung to his backside. Varric mused at Bethany's behavior. Fenris felt somewhat similar to how Bethany felt with so many strangers gawking at him. Hawke entered the room to find a blue eyed male elf with dirty blonde hair. Blue eyes nearly purple. A very odd eye color for an elf. Hawke inquired about Ninette. Further investigation proved useless. Getting Hawke to growl dangerously. "Waste. Of. My. Time." His bared his teeth with a snarl. Jethann twitched nervously. "Well. You aren't the only person asking. A templar named Emeric asked about her too. He wouldn't sleep with me either..." He said sullenly. Hawke quieted down. Thus learning that Emeric is somewhere in Darktown.

With the information gotten. Hawke walked out of the Rose with the others. It only took them an hour or so to reach Darktown. Bethany now trying to mimic her brother's every move. The group soon found where Emeric was. One problem. He wasn't alone.

Emeric breathed heavily as he was struck across the face with a clubbed weapon. He crawled backwards a bit. A huge battle axe was swung over his head at his assailant. Cutting the man in half. Emeric turned slightly to see a massive warrior cloaked in a dark purple tunic. Emeric watched as this man walked past him. Behind the man was a young girl, a dwarf, and a strange looking elf. All of them weilding weapons. The girl was a mage. He would simply ignore that considering she was currently saving his life.

Hawke walked towards the other thugs. Bethany and Varric attacking them from afar. While Hawke and Fenris fought up close. Slashing through them with force. Fenris dodged easliy back and forth avoiding each attack. He was rather aware of how Hawke defended himself. Seeing the larger man in his range of vision. Hawke held his axe with his right hand only. Swinging it like it was weightless. While he defended himself by blocking using his left arm. Hawke was more focus on his frontal assault. He barely registered one of the thugs jump him from behind. The thug slammed her dagger into the side of Hawke's neck before pushing herself off him. Ripping the wound larger. Hawke staggered a bit as he swung around and grabbed the woman. Fenris downed his enemy before turning his attention fully to Hawke. His eyes widened as he saw Hawke. Fenris saw the fatal wound on Hawke's neck. Fenris made a move to aid him. But stopped as he saw what happened next.

Hawke's mouth opened wide, his teeth glinting in the low light as he jerked the woman towards him. His head descending upon the woman's shoulder. Biting through the fabric. Blood erupting from the bite as she screamed. Hawke ripped his head away from the woman taking a good amount of flesh with his teeth. He swallowed and opened his mouth. The blood from the woman swirled and flew into his mouth. He was draining her life. His wound slowly closed and soon appeared on the woman's neck. She struggled but soon grew weak as her body began to shut down. All the wounds on Hawke's body closed. Minor and major wounds began to litter the woman's body till no more blood flew from her bite wound. She slumped in Hawke's hand and he dropped her. Licking the blood from his mouth as he swung around and decapitated his previous assailant.

Fenris was the only one to witness it. He turned to see if the others did but they had their backs turned. They never saw what happened. The realization that Hawke really was a reaver. He shuddered as a cold sense of dread filled him. This ability Hawke had seemed to amplify his dangerous appearance. Having seen the ability first hand. He now understood why many would be afraid of such warriors. Hawke finished off the last thug and grinned. Then Hawke's hand seemed to drift down towards the blood that was splattered across his waist. Running his guantleted finger tips through it. Before dropping his hand lower. Right beneath his tunic. Fenris flushed slightly as he noticed what Hawke was doing. Was the man rearranging his... The flush deepened as his face started to show red. Fenris turned swiftly on his heel and walked away towards the others. Keeping his head bent firmly towards the ground. He was sure that he was not suppose to have seen that. Though Fenris was partically curious as to how big the other man was. The forefront of the purple tunic-like jerkin was made to drape infront of the man's inner thighs. Maybe for good reasons too. Fenris shook his head as he felt Hawke walk up beside him.

Hawke pasted up the elf and focused on the templar. Ignoring his own 'growing' issue. He let off a low growl as he reached down and hauled the templar to his feet. "Thank you for that sir." Emeric said. Hawke really didn't care to know about some mage or other as he pressured the elder templar to just spit out what he was trying to say. The templar didn't seem upset with Hawke's direct rudeness. He quickly explained about a foundry and handed some papers to Hawke. Hawke growled. Wonderful. More fucking written words. Varric made a very poor joke at that moment and nearly got bitch slapped by Hawke. They soon left as did the templar and head for the foundry in Lowtown.

The walk to Lowtown was silent as no one spoke the entire way there. Once they got to the foundry they walked in. Then shit went down.

(Halfway through the fight.)

Running away seemed like a great idea right now. Varric shuddered as he hid himself behind a pillar on the second floor in the Dark Foundry. Abominations, shades, and a fucking desire demon were creating chaos on the first floor. Bethany stuck to her giant of a brother like he was some sort of life line. In a sense he essentially was to her. She fell back from an abomination to drop to the ground before her brother. In turn he swung his battle axe. Cutting the abomintation in half. Fenris was trying to keep Varric from being overwhelmed. The dwarf took a hard crippling shot from one abomination. Most of the creatures seemed to be drawn to Hawke. After the man let out a loud horrific yell that seemed to shake the foundry's very foundation. He smiled wickedly as he spun sweeping his huge axe through multiple shades. They all dropped and seem to fade to dust. The abominations that were felled erupted into flames. Leaving very few left. The desire demon was sitting back and watching the battle. She was thrilled to bits by the display as her brethren were destroyed. She watched Hawke with lust before walking over to him. Bethany at this point managed to make her way up to the second floor to where Varric was. Fenris was panting as he sliced through some the last few shades on the upper level. He glanced at Hawke who turned to the desire demon.

Hawke turned and stared at the demoness as she approached. He quirked a smile as he watched her hips sway with each step. Such a beautiful thing. He always marveled at such creatures like her. He was always drawn to demons. And he was no mage, yet they still called out to him. She returned the smile as she raised her hand letting loose a blast of her fade magic. The blast hit Hawke full force but he didn't appear to be phased as he began to stalk towards her. Hawke shrugged off most of the pain as he grinned wider before he rushed at the demoness. She jumped back to avoid him. Yet Hawke swung his axe and effectively used it to trip her. Falling onto her back she let loose another blast of fade magic. Hawke did the same thing ducking his head to the side away from his good eye. Bringing up his armored shoulder to deflect the attack. Magical attacks hardly affected him. He swung his axe down into the ground right beside her before he reached down and grabbed her by the throat. The demon paniced and clawed at him. Hawke just laughed as he picked her up off the ground and into the air.

The others finished dispatching the last shades and abominations and ran down to where Hawke was. Fenris growled at what he saw. Why was Hawke toying with the demon like that for? He should kill the blighted creature and be done with it! Varric was confused as to what was going on. Though his mind started up with a bunch of stories of what could possibly happen next. Judging by the look in Hawke's eye. Varric would say demon sex would probably be on the top of the list. Now there was an interesting story. Now replace Hawke with a templar and you would have a racy blasphemous novel. The Chantry would surely set fire to the book if it existed. Varric shook his head trying to remember what exactly they were doing. He made a mental note to write down the idea once this was over. Bethany frowned before she spoke up. "Don't play with her, Brother!" She fussed. He laughed. "But I want to keep her. All we need is a magic ward to trap her in." He said. "I don't think the templars will let you have a pet demon, Hawke..." Varric said readying Bianca. Fenris's markings started to light up as he growled. "You've got to be kidding." He hissed. Hawke rolled his eye before looking at the demon. She still struggled against him. "Let me go!" She shouted. Hawke tightened his grip causing her to take a sharp breath. He continued to tighten it as he crushed her windpipe. She struggled more still, she soon became light headed. Hawke released his vice grip upon her throat and she went limp. Not entirely dead though just unconscious. He set her on the ground and waited. The moment she started to come to he held his axe high in the air. She opened her eyes and let out a scream as the axe came down. Chopping her head and chest straight down the middle of her. Blood spraying and gushing all over the ground. The others cringed at the display. Even more so as the slick sucking sound emanated from the axe blade being removed. Hawke casted a glance at them. Silently asking the question. 'The fuck is wrong with you lot?'

The four soon checked the foundry and found a sack of bones. Bethany gagged as she desprately tried not to throw up. Hawke picked up a severed hand and snorted finding humor in a sick joke that popped into his head. He pulled the ring off and looked at it. There was something written in it. He growled at the words before pocketing the ring and walking towards the exit of the foundry with the sack of bones in hand.

Back in Hightown a short time later.

Hawke walked up Ghyslain and handed him the ring. Hawke was tempted to tell him what befell his wife. So tempted that he almost said it. But thanks to Bethany speaking up before him. Hawke didn't get to see the stuffy noble shit his pants. Kill joy. Hawke thought.

They soon left and headed to the Gallows. Fenris was a bit concerned about Bethany. He had never been to the Gallows before. And it put him into uneasement. He stared up at the slave statues. Varric had stayed in Lowtown. Not wanting to be on a boat. Leaving Fenris with the Hawke siblings. Fenris swallowed slowly as he let out a shuddered breath. Clearly disturbed by this circle tower. He spoke up.

Hawke groaned as he heard the elf started talking to him. Hawke had a sudden thought that maybe he should of pushed the bastard elf off the boat. Hawke growled as he silenced the elf with an all telling glare to 'Shut the fuck up'. Fenris went quiet. For about a minute before he started up again. Clearly upset at not being able to speak his mind. Hawke inwardly smirked at the elf's persistance. _'The Bastard Elf has some temerity to him. I give will give him that.'_ Hawke thought to himself as he 'allowed' Fenris to express himself. After listening to the elf rant for what seemed like ten minutes straight of the tyranny of magic or something. Hawke said very little during the rant. Hawke really didn't give two shits nor a flying fuck on the matter. _'Still coming off as a Bastard, Elf. No matter what kind of shit ya say.'_ Hawke thought to himself before telling Fenris to shut his mouth.

Fenris glowered at Hawke for a moment before sighing. At least the man listened to his rant. Hawke's sister pouted at him before laughing at what he said. Fenris took note that Hawke hardly said anything on the matter of magic. He didn't really care for it either. Hawke did however took up for his sister but condemed all other mages to the Void. Fenris took that as a tiny victory non the less. Making him feel more at ease.

Hawke walked up to Emeric and said the first thing that popped into his twisted little head. "Recognize your mage?" He chuckled lowly and Bethany swatted at him. "Brother! You're horrible!" She huffed. Fenris was not sure to find humor or discomfort in Hawke's joke. He merely remained quiet. Emeric stated the obvious saying they were bones. He gave thanks before walking off. Leaving Hawke to wander finally without anything to do. Which soon pissed him off...

On the boat back to the docks Hawke harrassed and made it a point to mentally disturb the other passengers. Who all clammered on the far side of the boat away from the large man. Clearly disgusted and disturbed by his words. Hawke smirked with pride as he sat down. Fenris stood further away shaking his head. Bethany went to appologize to everyone on board.

"Why do you do that Hawke?" Fenris asked the larger male. Hawke casted a glance towards the elf.

"My day is not complete till I have terrified a complete and utter stranger." Hawke stated before yawning.

He seemed much more relaxed. His mood had been positive? After he litterally drained the life out of that thug from Darktown. It was like Hawke was happy. It had put him in a better mood. Fenris found it. Odd. Though it soon ended when he heard Hawke let off a hiss as he clutched his head. Hawke went silent for a long moment before he released his breath. Hawke then reached and pulled out the bottle he was drinking from earlier this morning. Taking a drink of it and let out a pleased groan. Though his happiness was shot lived as the boat arrived at the docks.

Hawke took more of the bottle's contents before putting a cork in it. He really wanted to keep that blood high going. Sadly there was no thug to drink from. Such a pity. He was really enjoying the feeling. At least his hunger was sated for the day. He wouldn't really need to feed on the life of another until a few days. In truth he wondered what he did during his high. Well. Besides tormenting people and demons that is. He remembered that elf was ranting about mages or other. Hawke stared at the bottle he held. The stuff wasn't that good when it wasn't fresh. At least he would not have to worry about assaulting an innocent bystander. Now all he had to do was go home after he ditches the elf somewhere in the Hanged Man.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 The Elf Half-Breed

At the request of his sweet sister, Bethany. Hawke found himself listening to yet another sodding elf complain about something dealing with magic. He wouldn't even be bothering with the woman had it not been for Bethany. Hawke wasn't even sure how he found himself in the Alienage any how. Either way, Bethany offered his services for the sake of coin. Just what Hawke wanted. Have to find a half bastard elven child, whose father refuses to be seen with him. Just great. _'Why the fuck am I dealing with so many sodding elves?! Maker's breath, they're crawling everywhere!'_ Hawke thought as he growled. Now Hawke wasn't racist. He didn't hate one particular race alone. He just hated all races, equally. It did not matter what it was. If it so much as even breathed near him. He would get pissed. After all. He was still trying very hard to not slaughter his current company. Which was getting harder and harder as the days drew on. _'Hmm. What's this now? ... I could either ask a sodding templar or a Nevarran merchant. Last time I went to the Gallows. I think I bled one of dock hands dry. Heh he he.'_ Hawke thought to himself as he licked at his teeth. Which have become sharper from him grinding them against the stone corners of houses. He remembered his mother jumped him for it. Though there was nothing she could do. Not like she could stop him. He was a grown man after all. Though back to the current matter at hand. Hawke let out an odd noise before agreeing to help Arianni with her son. As long as he got coin, he would do almost anything.

Hawke heard Fenris huff sightly behind him. Well seems like the branded bastard elf didn't like the idea of helping if it involved mages. Though that wasn't enough to make the elf leave him alone. Said elf followed him anyway. Bethany walked infront leading the way. Beside Fenris was Aveline. The two of them conversed about how each other was doing as they walked the streets of Lowtown. Hawke grew tired of listening to people talk. To him, it sounded like they were shouting their heads off. He growled lightly to himself as he pawed at some unforeseen pocket he keeps his bottle hidden in. He suddenly stopped up the steps, leading to the upper reaches of the Bazaare. His eye twitched for a moment before it widened. For the last few days of working to get coin he neglected to restock on his 'poison'. He had been so busy running himself ragged with the dealing with Captian Jeven, some odd jobs for Meeran, Emeric and Ghyslain, then finally the damn magistrate. He was temporarily out. That didn't bode well for him. It also did not bode well especially for his stray followers.

He started to turn around to head to the Hanged Man but his sister grabbed hold of him and began pointing to the merchant Vincento. He swallowed and went. Maybe he wouldn't need it... Maybe there would be a group of thugs they will encounter. Yes. That was very likely to happen. Hawke assured himself.

The talk with Vincento seemed to last forever with Hawke. Bethany displayed some of her magic and Fenris growled at the display. Yet he said nothing. They were told to meet a guy named Samson. Who just so happened to be a templar. Wonderful... Aslo they could only meet him at night. Even better. Hawke began clicking his tongue against his jaggedly sharp teeth, while he mindlessly tapped his fingers against his hip guards. Due to how late it was already. Hawke would not have time to head to the room in the Hanged Man to obtain more of his drink. Which was fantastic to say the least. Bethany called out to him and skipped off. Aveline followed Bethany. Hawke remained in his spot and eyed Vincento. Quite dangerously, if Fenris was observing him correctly.

Fenris stood a short way off from Hawke. Something was amiss with the larger man. He noticed the fervent tapping of his guantleted fingers against the metal rods of his hip guards. He watched as Hawke slowly moved to follow his younger sibling. Not only had Fenris took notice of those small movements, but he also saw how Hawke had stopped on the stairs. He followed after the larger man and eyed him warily. Hawke's stride wasn't as long and calculated as usual. Something was definitely off about Hawke. Though after a few moments Hawke seemed to return to his 'normal' self. The growl was evident enough.

As they made their way up to the man named Samson. Hawke walked past Bethany. Hawke began to talk. But he spoke too fast for the ex-templar to understand. The man twitched and scratched at his arm. He kept moving back and forth from one foot to the other. Bethany spoke up in her brother's steed.

"Are you Samson?" She asked.

"Yeah... Hey you got any dwarf dust on ya?"

"... Um..."

"Lyrium... Ya got any? I'm hurt'n here."

"Lyrium addled motherfucker..." Hawke growled out rather harshly and also rather loudly. Samson looked at him and shrugged. Fenris shifted as if backing up slightly. Not wanting to get close to Samson. Aveline shook her head.

"That's what happened when you get kicked from the templar order. They make you drink the stuff to face the magickers. But..." He said squriming in his spot. "they don't do anything to keep ya."

"Grr. Just tell me where that boy is..." Hawke growled.

"Feyn- somethin' right... He didn't have nothing. So I showed him to some guy I know."

"Course you did... He didn't have any lyrium for you to swill. Now where did you send him."

"Uhh... To Arthuris. In the docks. I sent him a girl last week. Though... I think something might have went wrong. Not sure. He was kind of shifty."

"Like you..."

"Heh. Like you."

"If I don't find the kid... I am coming back for you templar..."

"Ha! If ya can find me!" He said backing up before walking off.

Hawke growled and then took off towards the docks.

After wandering a while they managed to find Arthuris's private dock. Hawke was nearly exstatic as he saw a bunch of thugs in armor. Without much of a signal Hawke smiled as he darted forward. So many people to kill so little time. In truth the thugs were the ones who attacked first.

After dealing with the whole lot of them. Aveline began gawking at Hawke. She saw what the man did. She had no idea... What in the Maker's name Hawke was at that moment. She shook her head and thought she just imagined the blood swirl and flow into the man's mouth. She assumed she was just tired and ignored the anomaly. They heard a scuffle up the stairs so they went to see. As they walked through the door to a room. They all saw a girl transform into an abomination. Cut off her hands they said. That stops spells they said. What dumbasses! Hawke chuckled darkly as he watched one man run right into him from the abomination. Hawke backhanded him so hard the man hit the wall. It didn't take them long to dispatch the few men and abomination there. Aveline felt sorry for the girl. "We shoud find something that can identify her..." She said. Bethany was the first to find a note. She slowly read it out loud. Aveline sighed and shook her head as she leaned over a list of goods sold. "Such a shame... At least she is at peace now." The ginger said. Fenris hmphed as he crossed his arms. Hawke was a bit busy poking at the girl's now dead and corrupted body. "Feynriel was sold to some slaver named Danzig. In Darktown. Ugh." Aveline frowned as she turned from the manifest list. Fenris's markings flickered for a brief moment. They soon left and headed to Darktown. Hawke was blissfully enjoying a blood high along the way.

They entered Darktown and headed to where Danzig was located. Thanks to the information on the manifest list.

As they walked up to Danzig and his company. The Slaver Mage turned and laughed. "Oh look! Volunteers! Clap 'em in irons. Let's see what the Tevinters will pay for 'em!" Danzig said with a laugh.

Fenris growled. Hawke glanced at him. "If... You wish... Make him talk. Go right on ahead, Elf." Hawke said with a sick growl of a purr. Fenris got a twinge bit giddy as he smiled dangerously. "I can do that." His markings flared to life as he walked up to Danzig and slammed his hand into the man's chest. Even Aveline smirked at this. The man let out a scream as Fenris toyed with him. Bethany clung to Hawke's hair as she peered around him. Fenris smirked as he jerked his hand inside the man's chest before pulling it out. Letting the mage fall to his knees. The other slavers were all wide eyed and speechless.

"Agh..H-how do ya d-do that?"

"Feynriel. Or else he does it again." Hawke said licking his teeth.

"I-in a c-cave. N-north on the W-wounded Coast!" He panted holding his chest. He looked up to Hawke, who dropped down to squat on the ground before him. "C-can I g-go?"

Hawke gave a neutral exspression before tilting his head to the side. In that next moment he flashed his teeth with a wicked smile as he let out a deep laugh. Readying his hands on either side of his own body. Slowly reaching towards the slaver. "Not a chance." He said before slamming his clawed guantlets into both sides of the slaver's head. Resulting in a short strangled scream as spray of blood erupted. A horrendous sound of his skull cracking like that of an egg within Hawke's grasp. The other slavers let out frantic yells as they backed up into each other. Not only were the slavers stunned by this display but so was his followers. Poor Bethany turned around and threw up. Aveline had cringed with a jerk, turning her head away from it. Fenris let out a small squeek of laughter before controlling himself with a cough. He had no idea what had gotten into him, to make him laugh like that. All he knew is that he wanted the other slavers to die along with their leader.

Hawke slowly stood after pulling his hands free of Danzig's crushed skull. "Who wants to die next? Mwaa heh heh." He began laughing as he pulled his axe free. His followers did the same drawing their weapons. Fenris was all too happy to let loose on those slavers.

In the end the slavers lay dead. Hawke shuddered in delight as he slowly let out a breath. Aveline inched away from him slowly. Now she was convinced he was possessed by something. She hasn't seem him take a drink all day. If that was how he acts when not on that illegal substaince. Then she was all for turning a blind eye to his addiction. As long as he didn't go on a killing spree. Bethany huddled up to her brother and poked at him. Wondering if he had got it all out of his system. Fenris shifted back and forth in one spot. He didn't want to admit it. But it sure was fun killing those slavers. Though he was partially disgusted by his own behavior. Acting similar to Hawke's own bloodlust fueled frenzy. Even taking it as far as to slay his opponent without honor or dignity. Sure they were slavers. But was such violence truely necessary? Surely it was not called for. Yet, Fenris enjoyed it non the less.

Hawke took a moment to calm himself down. When he did he spied a dead body of a chantry sister. He walked over to it and began prodding at it. "I found a dead body! It shall be my new conversation partner." He chuckled as he leaned over the skeletal remains. Aveline gagged. "We should let the Chanrty know. Hawke... What are you doing!?" She started as she saw Hawke pick it and cuddle into it. "Bringing it home." He laughed to himself. Bethany shuddered. "Eww. Brother. That's gross!" Fenris grimanced.

"I am not bringing it to bed with me Bethany. I am bringing it, or should I say her, back to the Chantry."

The walk to the Chantry was oddly uneventful. No one person even questioned the large man carrying a corpse like a fucking teddy bear up through Hightown. Not even the guards made so much as glance at the man. The nobles who saw him, stopped and turn to walk in a different direction. Hawke walked into the chantry and recieved bizarre looks. He walked right up to Grand Cleric Elthina. She gawked at him. "Look who I found in Darktown." He seemed to purr. Holding the dead body infront of her. She pointed to the second floor. "Bring her to Brother Plinth, please." Hawke turned and walked off. Elthina put her hands together and prayed.

After handing off the dead woman's body to Brother Plinth, who was appearently the dead woman's twin brother. Hawke was given a few sovereings. Hawke turned and left out of the Chantry. Still in a strangely happy mood like he was high on some sort of drugs.

During some point in time Bethany had managed to stuff the letter of Olivia's into Hawke's hand. Bethany hurried home. Having been up most the night helping him. Even Aveline left at some point to head back to the barracks. Leaving Fenris to stare at Hawke. Hawke glanced at the letter and remembered that the letter was addressed to a templar named Thrask. Wasn't that the souless ginger head guy who talked to Arianni? Hawke looked at Fenris. "Want to see if we could make money off of this?" He asked the elf. "Umm. Sure. Though who would pay for that?" He said looking up at the larger man. Clearly the two of them had boundless energy to spend. "Let's go find this Thrask. Shall we." Hawke said before heading towards the docks with Fenris in tow.

They arrived at the Gallows as the sun rose higher into the sky. Still morning given the pinkish tint to the sky. They found Thrask. Hawke smirked as he walked up to the man. Thrask looked at Hawke. "Ahh. I know you. Arianni said you were helping to look for Feynriel. Maybe your friend here knew him in the Alienage?"

"Not all elves live in your cages, Templar." Fenris huffed.

"I'm... Sorry."

"Enough." Hawke growled.

"I really wish this didn't have to involve outside influences."

"Whatever. I'm just hunting a menace to society."

"I quite agree." Fenris said. _'Though what exactly does that make Hawke?'_ He pondered to himself.

"If you find him. His best chance would be at the Circle." Thrask said trying to not feel uncomfortable with Fenris glaring at him.

"Don't care, right now. Look what I got, Templar."

"Thrask, sir."

"...Still a Templar. Now look." He said holding the letter infront of Thrask.

"That is...My daughter's handwriting... Then you what she is. How she died. I knew I should of forced her into the circle when I tracked her to that warehouse. But I was weak to resist her pleas. And now she is gone. I thank you for bringing it to me." He said reaching for the letter. Hawke jerked the letter back. Thrask looked at Hawke with confusion.

"Uh-hu. She was an abomintation. Surely you wouldn't want such knowledge being spread about. Unless..." Hawke said with a slight sneer as he saw the templar's face as he held his other hand out to the templar.

"Seems only fair." Fenris said speaking up beside Hawke.

Thrask grew angry. "You monster... Grr. Fine! If it is the only way from keeping Olivia's name from being dragged through the mud. Then you shall have it. Now begone, you fiend!" Thrask said with a scowl as he handed Hawke the money and snatched the paper from him.

Hawke turned around and walked away from the irate templar. Fenris approved of the action. Blackmailing the templar like that was simply genius! Fenris couldn't help but seem to admire the way Hawke dealt with such things. Though there still was a few things he didn't agree with.

"I am heading to the Hanged Man. You can accompany me if you wish."

"... Hmm. I suppose I can. Though are you not tired?"

"Are you..."

"Not even in the sightest."

"Good. Now keep up with my pace least I leave you behind, Elf."

"I am unusually tall for an elf. I can keep up."

"Lanky about covers what you are."

"Bulky mostly describes you."

"... Did you just call me 'fat'. You little fucker..."

"Uh... I mean you're rather absurdly tall and... Look. You're much larger than I am."

"... This is all muscle, Elf."

"..." Fenris went quiet as the two of them got on the boat.

Later after Hawke restocked his special drink in the Hanged Man suite of his. With Fenris watching all the while as he gawked at the distilling apperatus which was powered by a crank. Fenris could hardly see what being added. Though he took note of a familar jar which held dragon's blood. There was a lot of grinding and mixing going on that Fenris got confused and lost at some point during the whole process. Though it was amazing to see non the less. He wondered if this was similar to how wine was made. He even asked Hawke. Hawke growled gruffly before saying that all wine is just rotted fruit left out to sour in a vat with little to no sugar as it drips through a shiv. Mostly it is based on how sweet the fruit is. Also that it takes a lot of trial and error just to get a normal quality wine. Some concotions have to ferment for years at a time before it is even considered high quality.

The two of them ended up leaving out of that room and to the main floor of the tavern. Where they found Isabela chatting it up with Varric. How wonderful. Hawke was back to his old self now that the blood high was slowly wearing off. He growled taking a drink. Fenris giving a heavy sigh. He rather liked when Hawke wasn't being an ass. Or a homicidal lunatic. He watched as Hawke walked up behind the two rogues. Varric stopped his laughing at the pirate's joke as he felt a shudder down his spine. He turned to look up at the large man.

"... Hey Hawke. What's-"

"We have a job to do, Dwarf."

"Okey-dokey. Is this about Feynriel?

"Hmm."

"I will take that as a yes. Come on Rivani."

"Oh goodie. I love staring at him." Isabela purred.

"Keep your hands off, Whore." Hawke growled.

Short time later.

"- but they were mostly of breasts."

"I suppose a pair of lyrium breasts tattooed to my chest would make things better." Fenris spoke with slight sarcasm. The pirate didn't get the hint.

"Well. That's me. I'm a helper!" She chirped.

"It would look fucking retarded on a male of his stature." Hawke let out with a growl. "They will also serve no funtion. Unlike your assests, Whore."

"Ohh~ Someone's talkative today. Did the chantry burn down? And I bet anything that you have a tattoo of a pair of breasts on you somewhere!"

"Ugh... Why would I defile my body with such perverted depictions..."

"Hmm. Seems like it would be right up your alley. Hawke." Varric spoke that time.

"Yeah along with some other things as well." Isabela said making a vulgar gesture. "Like a picture of a naked stud on your back?" She giggled.

"Sure... Why not tattoo a giant throbbing erect penis onto my back too while your at it." He growled with a snap.

"I would love to see that!" Isabela smiled.

"I sure wouldn't! I think I'd rather breasts. But then Bianca will get jealous at having to see it."

"This conversation has veered off into the unspeakable and obscene. Any chance we can get it back on track?" Fenris spoke up. Not really wanting to see such a tattoo on anyone in truth. After all he was just humoring Isabela.

"I feel like being filthy minded today. Wonder which of you strays I should imagine myself plowing into..." Hawke said a bit too loudly.

Varric inched away. "Not me please. I would probably die from the whole thing..." Varric said with a grossed out shudder.

"You were not even on my list. But now I am starting to wonder."

"Shit!" Varric took off further up the trial down the Wounded Coast.

"Though he is too small."

"How about me. Sexy."

"No. I rather not die of some genital infection. So I'll pass."

"Hey!" Isabela got pissed at the large man and stomped ahead to where Varric took off.

Fenris remained silent. His ears were slightly red. Mainly due to how uncomfortable he was about the whole conversation. Maybe if he was quiet. Hawke would think of something else.

"What of you, Fenris."

"E-exuse me?" Fenris was slightly taken a back.

"Who do you find yourself attracted to." Hawke asked. Fenris not seeing his slight smile.

"I... Am unsure. I suppose I am into women. After all that seems more logical considering I am a man." He said earnestly looking himself over.

"..." Hawke's smile faded as it twisted into a scowl. Not what he wanted to hear. He let off a growl. Fenris shrunk back from him slightly. "Alright... Which female in this group do you fancy?" He asked through clenched teeth.

"I am an elf. So logic would dictate that I should find Merrill attractive. But. Ugh. I rather stay far from her. Isabela is attractive yet over flirtatious. Aveline is respectable and honor bound. She would probably have my interest."

"What of my sister, elf."

"I would not wish to get close to her in respect for you, Hawke. I dare not incur your wraith for trying to seduce your younger sister."

"A very good answer, elf." Hawke said before drinking from his bottle. He soon let out a frustrated growl as he flexed his body.

Fenris wasn't sure but he felt like he had missed something important. He shrugged it off as he and Hawke met back up with Varric, and Isabela. They found the entrance to where Feynriel was being held.

The group had faced several slavers. One took off running after watching his comrades be slaughtered. He ran into a part of the tunnel leading off to a smaller room. He alerted his boss of what was happening.

"Hold! Or else the boy dies!" Some thug slaver yelled out. Hawke let out a small groan as he wiped his blood covered mouth. Having took a large bite out of one slaver just moments ago. He laughed slightly as he straighted up and turned to eye the man who held a blade up to Feynriel's throat. The boy was scared out of his wits. His eyes wide as he held his breath as the knife was pressed against his neck. He whimpered a little. Hawke was close to the rock on which the thug with the knife was. He inched his hand along upward on the stone.

"Hmm. I wonder what your blood tastes like." He said licking his teeth.

"Err. Stay back or the boy dies!"

"Kill him. I don't give a shit. I could make an excuse."

"But... Didn't you come here for the boy?" The thug asked clearly confused. As were his men.

"Sure. Reason why I slaughtered you guards. Besides. Not like you could use the boy anyway. You are no mage. He is just a waste of space. Just another stray looking for a free lunch. But. If you want him that bad then keep him." Hawke said making a move to leave. The others following him got mad. Especially Fenris. Who growled at this. Hawke watched the thug lower the blade just enough. The guy seemed to scratch his head. unsure of what had just transpired. In one swift movement Hawke sprung from the ground. Easily grabbing onto the thug's leg and jerked him clear off his perch. Hawke jumped off the rocky facing and slammed the man's head harshly against the stone. Before he held the man up in the air by his leg. "Kill them all." He said to the three following him. Fenris seemed to smile as he drew his sword. Varric nodded and pulled Bianca free as Isabela let loose her daggers. Hawke held the leader of the slavers for a moment before hurling his unconscious body at one of his men. Hawke pulled his axe aloose and swung it towards his target. In the mean time Feynrial hid behind a box and covered his head.

The fight ended shortly after the last few slavers were felled. The leader woke up during the onslaught and tried to run. He was quickly beat down by Hawke, who bit deeply into his neck before draining him nearly dry. Hawke reeled back after releasing the man and smiled wickedly as his mind spun from the taste. It seemed to renew his happy mood. He was so out of it that he barely noticed when Feynriel walked up to him. The boy was beyond nervous as he shifted back and forth before Hawke. Hawke turned to look at the young lad. "Hmmm."

"You killed them. You killed all of them. What in the Maker's name were you talking about earlier? Where you really going to leave me to them?"

"I am still standing here and you ain't gagged and bound. I think that says enough."

"Yeah. Maker. You really are something. So... What now?"

"..."

"I mean I can't go back to mother. I don't want to go to the circle. I was originally trying to get to the Dalish."

"Yes. Because no Dalish mage ever went astray." Fenris droned. Feynriel ignored him, or tried to, as he looked back up at Hawke.

"I hardly doubt the Dalish want an half bred bastard child."

"Well. When you say it like that... Gosh. It makes me feel awful. But it is wasn't my fault. I never wanted to be born with magic. Besides. All my life mother said that she loved me and would protect me. And the first bad dreams I have she wants to ship me to the circle!"

"Given the circumstances of your problem. You belong in the circle."

"But I don't want to go!"

"I can drag you kicking and screaming if I have to." Hawke threatened walking close to the boy.

"No! I'll go! Ain't like I can survive even a minute against you. I saw how you fight... Fine. But I am not talking to my mother ever again!"

"Don't care if you do or not. Now get moving you little shit." Hawke ordered.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm moving." Feynriel said with a shiver as he walked along with Hawke and his group. Fenris seemed to greatly approve of the fact the boy was going to the circle. Aslo he was once again impressed by Hawke. Sure the man was rather unnerving but then again. Fenris doubt he would ever gotten to respect the man had Hawke been different.

Fenris once again noticed how content Hawke was at the moment. Having drained the life from multiple slavers seemed to put Hawke in a jolly mood. Which was more disturbing than his everyday harsh demure. Fenris silently wished Hawke would be 'normal' again. Mainly due to this Hawke being far much darker than the usual. Though there were perks to talking to Hawke when he seemed high.

After delivering Feynriel to the Gallows Circle and being given the evil eye by Thrask. Hawke and his strays went back to Arianni. To let her now the news. She thanked Hawke over and over again. She soon gave Hawke his payment. Which made him realize why he hated working for elves. Elves don't pay shit when you help them. Like Fenris and Elren before her. All she gave him was a damn ring. Atleast Fenris and Elren gave him coin. Fenris gave him five soveriegns, and Elren gave him two soveriegns worth in fucking coppers. But at least it was money. The hell was he suppose to do with a damn ring? Good thing he looted all the bodies during that mission. As they left the alienage Hawke flicked the ring skyward off to the side. Not even caring to hold onto the highly valued heirloom. Isabela saw it fly and she went after it. Varric shook his head with a shrug. Fenris thought that it was a bit of a waste. Hawke could have sold the trinket. Or kept it. As the sun began to set upon Kirkwall. Fenris finally became aware of how long he had went without sleep. He let off a yawn as he followed behind Hawke and the others. Varric left to head back to the Hanged Man. Isabela had disappeared by the alienage. Fenris seemed to let out another yawn as he began to head off. Hawke looked after him with little to no interest. He walked up the stairs to the small hovel of his uncle's.

After walking in and being greeted by Bethany and his mother. Hawke went to his room and seemed to brood. Mainly because of his interactios with the strays that followed him. He growled as he realized they were starting to grow on him. Almost like unwanted parasites. He gave off a growl as he laid down in bed. He need to do a job with out them. Or start ingnoring their presence again. Which was going to be hard considering his odd attraction to the bastard elf. As he called Fenris. Well. Never to the elf's face. But he considered the elf a bastard non the less.

 **A/N Thought I might experiment with the times Hawke doesn't have his drink.**

 **The drink itself plays a key part in the story line. Contributing to Hawke's overall mood.**

 **Blood makes him giddy like a preteen and I am sure he is seeing pink dragons vomitting rainbows. Anyway. Leave a review. Follow this Story or even Fave it. I would really appreciate it. ^w^**

 **P.S. Sorry if this came out more fluff funny than angsty. Felt like switching it up. Don't expect it to happen often. Mainly because Hawke is an evil hearted jackass. Who likes pissing people off.**

 **Next chapter Find out How much Thrask hates Hawke!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 What is Mercy

A/n Hawke dislikes Magic. So him and Fenris get along. But Hawke also dislikes people in general. Will he ever change? Maybe not. Find out as you read along.

P.S. If anyone noticed. This story does not follow the traditional gameplay scenes. So do not expect it to be word for word. Or place for place. Okay Read on :3

It was nearing the afternoon while the sun perched itself high in the sky. The heat radiating off of the stone homes and streets. So hot that one may cook an egg on the pavement. Hawke loathed the sun and all the blinding light with it. He snarled softly in his Hanged Man room. Throwing the black and red curtains closed. He hated being out and about during the day. The sun's rays always hurt his eye. He took a long drink from one of the many bottles he had in the back of the room. He sighed greatfully and sank into his chair. He welcomed this silence. Having been running throughout the city a few days prior. Hawke soon began to drift off into his mind. But it would have to wait as he opened his eye and watched the door. Those footsteps sounded familar. He let out a slow breath as a knock came to the door right on cue. "Brother? Are you in there? We got a letter from someone! It is addressed to you! ... Brother? I don't think he is in there Fenris. Are you sure he is in there?" The female voice spoke. Bethany. And from what sounds to Hawke. Fenris is there too. "He is normally in there when he wants to be alone." The elf said. Hawke stood from his chair and walked over to the door. He was rather curious as to why Bethany and Fenris were conversing. He knows that bastard elf hates magic and mages even more so than him. So was was he with Bethany? "If you two are going to speak then speak in here." He said as he opened the door. Bethany looked delighted as she spoke. "Brother! Good thing you're here. We-" Hawke held up his hand to silence her. Bethany closed her mouth and nodded before entering. Hawke looked at Fenris and motioned with his head to get in. Fenris shifted in his spot for a moment before nodding and entering as well.

"I over heard both of you outside the door. Now. What is so important to bother me?" Hawke asked rather curtly. Bethany nodded as she read the letter to him.

"It was signed by a friend." Bethany finished.

"A kindness, To mages? Bah ha ha. Delusional! Who would help a handfull of Starkhaven mages?" Hawke barked. Bethany frowned.  
"I would. Their our people, brother."

"You're kind. Not mine. They wouldn't want me as kin. Besides. I don't care for the welfare of other mages except you, Bethany. So throw that useless paper away." Hawke said as he sat down. Bethany huffed as Fenris leaned against the wall. Fenris thought Hawke was doing what was best.

"Brother... Please do this for me." Bethany asked.

"No."

"Please. Brother. I promise I will stay at home while you deal with this. You could save lives! Don't you want to help those who would be affected by this?" She pleaded to her brother. Hawke growled.

"Ugh... Fine. If it will silence your yammering. So be it. But if those mages attack me. I will slay all of them."

"I am sure they won't and please don't. Try to make sure they stay alive. Promise me you won't kill them." Bethany said standing before her brother and holding his hand. She made her eyes huge as she could. Hawke frowned at the display.

"If they choose to attack. I will kill them. I will not make an empty promise. If they do what I say. Then they will live..." Hawke said with a sneer. Bethany hugged him then.

"Thank You! Brother! This means a lot to me."

"Great now go home and I will deal with them post haste."

Bethany nodded to her brother and hurried out the door. Fenris glanced at Hawke and was about to say his part on the matter.

"Silence Elf. If those damned mages wish to live it will be in the circle. I don't need anymore free mages running around my city."

"... You're city?" Fenris asked suddenly becoming curious.

"Yes... I have thought on this for a while now... Having had a few days to relax. I have decided."

"Decided on what exactly?"

"That I am going to run this city. It will take time. But I will run this city the way I see fit."

"How do you propose to do such a feat? After all you are but a refugee."

"I will need a title, statis, money, and a following. If I continue to run about this place fixing everyone's problems then why not run this city as my own?" Hawke said getting up from his chair. Fenris stood from the wall.

"You are strong Hawke. But I doubt you could gain control of this city so quickly. Also You have no money, no title, nor do you have statis." Fenris spoke. _'I knew he would wish to take over this city. But it will take more time and effort than anything else...'_ Fenris thought.

"Hmmm... If I truely wish to run this place then certain requirements need to be met... The Viscount's death is one... But no. That would be treason to assassinate him. Unless I wait till some one else does it for me. Yes... That would be perfect. Gain the city's approval. Would be the next. I need to do something that will show them my prowess. Perhaps the slaying of a high dragon? Hmmm. No. They need to witness my strength. Hmmm. The qunari that is encamped in the docks. Now that would be impressive. But I would not wish to start a war in the Free Marches. Then I will have nothing to rule..." Hawke continued to pace back and forth.

Fenris remained quiet. This man really did wish to gain control over Kirkwall. Fenris doubted that Hawke could pull something like this off. But then again. Hawke was not like most men. He just might be able to run this city if he puts his mind to it. But it will not happen overnight. Such things like that takes time. Years in fact. Fenris wondered if he would still be in Kirkwall, when Hawke takes control. Fenris decided that they should not waste time now. But then he realized something. ' _Hawke would not even be bothered with explaining his plans if he didn't trust me. Does that mean... I some how managed to be someone he can confide in? Wait a minute. He's talking directly to me. I better listen before he thinks I'm ignoring him.'_ Fenris looked up at Hawke at that moment.

"Well? Do you think it possible, Elf?"

"Hmm.. Run it past me one more time."

"Guh... Fine. If I wait till the Qunari are no longer peaceful then I might have a chance to prove to this pathetic city that I could be fit to rule. Now I cannot assasinate the Viscount least that would get out. But If I had statis. I could damn well try to get elected to go against him through a vote. Ugh... Wait... That wouldn't work. Then people would want to talk to me... You know what? Fuck it. I am goinng to run this city somehow, someway. Just not today." Hawke huffed darkly before taking a drink.

"Might I suggest focusing on the Deep Roads Expedition. After that you would have money. Then with that you can petittion a title. You could also buy back your family's estate with it. Then you would be in the noble district. Then work your way from there." Fenris held his breath as he finished. He hoped that it would help. After all. Fenris wished more than anything to gain this man's approval.

Hawke looked at him as he took a sip of his drink. Then Hawke walked over to Fenris. Fenris stood taller as he continued to hold his breath. He didn't move away from Hawke. Hawke looked down at him before leaning ever so slightly.

"You... Are far smarter than you let on, Fenris... Your words have value in them. I will... think on the matter your way. If it fails. Then I will have to figure out my own way to take over this city. Now. Let us deal with a certain mage problem outside the city." He said lowly before standing up and walking out the room door. Leaving Fenris alone by himself.

Fenris released his breath slowly as he shuddered. He had a slight blush on his face as he reached a hand up to his ear. He wondered if Hawke ment to put his mouth that close. The man's hot breath had blew against the sensitive tip of Fenris's ear. Fenris had struggled very hard not to let out a small whimper of a moan. Fenris shuddered even more when he realized that Hawke had called him by his name yet again. He breathed deeply before straightening back up and quickly leaving the room to find Hawke. Though Fenris couldn't help but feel himself wanting to be close to the larger man. Not just to be close but to actually touch the man. He only ever seen Bethany touch Hawke. The man would not let anyone go near enough to reach out to him. Fenris shook his head and pushed those thoughts away. He didn't wish to mess up what he currently had with Hawke. Least the repercussions of those actions result in his untimely demise. From what he knows. Hawke seems to jest about his sexuality. But never acts on it. What if the man was considered asexual? What if it was just his way of seeing how someone would react to him. No. Fenris figured it was best not to tempt such things. After all Fenris wasn't even sure if he was even into men like Hawke. Or just men in genreal. Fenris always figured he would be into women. Yet no women ever caught his attention. Fenris remained quiet as he pondered. Fenris was sure that he wasn't into men. Besides. It was wrong to be interested in someone of the same sex. Right? Whatever his feelings for the larger man. It would never happen Fenris thought. Besides. He was not into men nor was he truely into women. Even if he was. The times that he was a slave was painful to remember. Especially considering what was done to him. He shuddered again but this time from disgust.

Fenris swallowed and pushed all those thoughts aside as he walked up behind Hawke in the main area of the tavern. The larger man was talking to Varric and Aveline. Seemed Aveline was there becuase she was off duty. Fenris smiled slightly at the sight of her. At least he knew he had a friend to talk to.

As the group walked their way from the main city and towards the Wounded Coast. They heard a scuffle ahead of them. Men yelling. As the group got closer they saw giant spiders attacking what looked like a caravan. Or more accurately a dwarf and his men. So without much thought given Hawke walked forward into the fighting while the others stood and watched. Hawke drew his weapon and let out a loud yell drawing the attention of all the spiders. The others pulled free their weapons and joined the fight as Hawke brought his axe down onto one unlucky spider.

After the fight was over Hawke put his axe away and stared at the sniveling dwarf.

"Cease your shaking dwarf. You ain't dead." Hawke said gruffly.

"No thanks to this lot. Can't get a blade at decent bargain anymore. You on the other hand. Is what a man needs!" The dwarf said. Hawke walked over to the dwarf. And the dwarf looked off to the side. Poor sod was even with Hawke's crotch.

"I think I am going to go stone blind..." The dwarf said backing up.

"Don't stare directly at it. Else you start feeling inadequate." Varric joked.

"Great. Another qunari to deal with. Listen can you get your Arishok to sell me his powder?"

"I am no Qunari, Dwarf. Now stop wasting my time." Hawke said moving past him.

"Hey! Could you at least listen to what I got to say then?" The dwarf asked.

"Is there a job in your rammbling..."

"Name's Javaris Tintop and I need someone who can help court the Qunari. Which I thought you were."

"Court the qunari! Maker. Think of the Children!" Varric laughed.

"They have this explosive that I want. It's just dust! Now lyrium and no demons! Anyone can use it!" Javaris said.

"I often look at every second idoit and think "he needs more power." " Varric said kicking a rock infront of his foot.

"Just get on with it. For my time is being wasted listening to you prattle." Hawke growled.

Javaris wasted no time in explaining what he wanted. And by the end of it Hawke was growing more hostile by the minute.

"Your plan is weak and pathetic Dwarf. And a complete waste of my time. Now get out of my way." Hawke growled as he almost stormed over the hapless dwarf.

"Hey. If you find yourself on the Wounded Coast. The collect me some Tal-Vashoth heads and I will be all smiles in that Compound. ... I will give you a cut of the deal!" Javaris yelled at Hawke from behind. Hawke stopped. "Got your attention huh. Meet me in the compound after you kill them and you will be richly rewarded!"

"..." Hawke walked along as he pondered on the matter. He could use the money. Also he could kill people as well. He slightly smiled at the idea and continued on his way with his followers.

As the group pasted through the Wounded Coast, Hawke wondered who was this so called friend was. And what sort of magic was being dealt with. He would soon get his answer as they came up the wayside of a large dune. A bright shining armor shown. Hawke growled. Of course it had to be a templar.

"Great... A fucking templar..." Hawke said eyeing the ginger templar. Who scowled back at him.

"Yes. Well this 'Fucking templar' knows you Master Hawke." The templar said wih a frown. Fenris noticed it was Thrask. The one Hawke blackmailed a few days ago.

"Well I don't fucking know you so get on with it."

"Thrask. The one you blackmailed."

"You blackmailed a templar?!" Aveline asked in shock.

"Yeah. What of it?" Hawke spoke harshly daring Aveline to say something else. "Now who are you, Templar."

"As I have said. Yet again. Thrask... I was hoping you would show a kindness to mages once more. Feynriel spoke highly of you. Though no matter how despicable you treated me you are kind and fair to mages. ... I also had no one else to ask..." Thrask said with a sigh.

"Kind? Fair? Bah! You have me confused Templar. I am none of those. I do things the way I see fit." Hawke scoffed.

"I have thought long and hard on this matter on whether or not I can trust you on this. Like I have said. I had no one else to go to. Well I hope you see fit that these apostates are brought to the circle, instead of hiding in a cave." Thrask said almost pleading. Yet there was still a bit of hate in him for what Hawke had done.

"And you've allowed this?" Aveline asked.

"Yes. Please talk to them. Bring them to their senses before my fellow templars arrive. Karras is one of Knight Commander Meredith's cronies." Thrask asked earnestly.

Knight Commander Meredith... Hawke has heard that name before... From somewhere.

"If they do not see that being alive and in the circle is better than being free and dead. Then there just might be a blood bath..."

Hawke chuckled lightly as the words blood bath entered his head. Causing him to lick the inside of his teeth and him visably shifting in his spot. He loved the sound of a blood bath. "I can try. But no garrentee..." He purred sickly. Thrask frowned.

"Do try not to harm the mages serah. Least I will never trust you with something of such import again!"

"I don't give a rat's ass if you trust me or not. Now when I get back with those mages. I better get paid in full." Hawke said leaning towards Thrask.

"You will get your money. Now hurry!" Thrask growled.

Hawke walked past Thrask and into the cavern. Varric scowled a bit on the way in. He didn't like what had transpired. Aveline remained silent. How Hawke delt with people was his own way. As long as he didn't break the law. She was fine with his actions. Fenris wondered what would become of the mages.

The moment they entered, a mage had ran up to them and slit his wrist. Skeletal figures rose from the dirt. A fight soon ensured. Once the small scuffle was over Aveline shuddered.

"By Andraste... Is this... Blood Magic?" Aveline asked.

"A mage will always resort to blood magic. If they feel the need is great enough." Fenris told her.

"Quit your chatting and move..." Hawke growled as he walked further in. The others followed.

As they vetured further that ran into more undead. In the middle of them was a mage curled up and whimpering. Didn't seem like the creatures cared to much about the boy. The boy kept yelling at the corpses to get away.

After getting rid of the corpses the boy lanched himself at Hawke's leg and held on tight.

"Thank the Maker! Are you with the templars?! Please get me out of here. I never wanted to be here! I especially don't want to stay here now since he started making those things appear!" The boy shrieked pitifully.

"Get off me, Mage." Hawke growled grabbing the boy by the hood and setting him on his feet. "Now who is He?"

"Decimus. It was his desicion that we escape. Said the templars were going to label us blood mages if we fleed. So why not use it if it is our best tool."

"Typical excuse." Fenris said with a a scowl.

"H-he slit his wrist and the 'magic' happened. It woke those things in the cave...I ran Decimus is wrong! Blood magic is evil and not something the templars keep from us out of spite..." The mage spat out clearly upset by the whole ordeal.

"Decimus is the leader then..."

"Yes. He said with our phlyactories gone the templars can't find us. I think he set the fire. There has to be a demon working through him. No normal or sane person would profane the dead like this!"

"Get yourself to the templars and tell me where the rest are."

"Take me to the templars! I don't want nothing to do with... B-blood Magic. The rest are further in."

"Good get out to the templar waiting at the entrance."

"Becareful Decimus is mad!" The boy soon took off towards the entrance and his knight in shining templar armor.

Further in they saw a group of mages praying. The one known as Decimus stood up and yelled for the others to attack even raising the dead to fight for them. One mage tried to stop him but failed to do so.

Hawke smiled wickedly as he charged the man known as Decimus. A few other mages let loose bolts of lightning, fire, and ice. A dark red whirlwind of blood and sand swirled about Decimus. Hawke's smiled widened as he came face to face with the crazy blood mage. He swung his axe towards the man but instead cut through a corpse that rose from the ground. Hawke gave off a growl. He swung around taking down the shambling corpses that attacked him. While he focused on the main target. Aveline, Fenris, and Varric dealt with the other corpses and mages that fought back. Aveline bashing apart the undead upon her sheild. Varric picking off a few at a distance. Fenris taking out the mages who were distracted by Varric. It did not take long for the fight to last. Not once Hawke grabbed a hold of Decimus and sliced through him using the giant battle axe. Once Decimus was dealt with the others gave up fighting back and submitted. One mage cryied out for the blood mage. Hawke dropped the body to the ground as she ran up to him.

"Decimus. my love... You... You murdered him!" The woman yelled.

"The blood mage shouldn't have attacked me. I am not without mercy girl."

"I told him that would be all anyone would see of him. I didn't want him to do this."

"Are we to believe that you are not a part of his plans." Fenris said eyeing the mage.

"I have no truck with demons. Please. We only want our freedom... The templars will exicute us all for Decimus's crimes."

"You willingly followed him. The crimes are your's as well..." Hawke let off a slight growl stepping forward.

"Should we all let the circle geld our minds for such crimes? Please kill the templar that is persuing us." She begged.

"Yes! Murder a templar! That will surely help." Fenris let out throwing his hands in the air for a brief moment before recomposing himself as he glowered at the mage. Hawke rolled his eye before locking it with the girl's.

"Please. Will you buy us time to flee?" The girl pleaded.

"Not even a chance. I will take you in. Breathing or not." Hawke said reaching once again for his battle axe. The girl's eyes open wide before raising her hands.

"Please! Lay down your arms. We will go. I am trying to save our lives. Not throw them away..." She said in defeat. Hawke looked pleased at her submission.

"Good. I warn you though. Try anything. And I won't hesitate to cut you down." Hawke warned. The girl nodded her head and followed them. They soon found out the woman's name was Grace.

Fenris kept glancing back at the mages as they walked through the cavern. He didn't trust any of them. Though he took note on how Hawke walked. His head slightly turned towards the mages. As if listening. Waiting for the mages to strike. Yet they did nothing. Aveline and Varric walked behind them making sure that they followed. Fenris and Hawke took up the lead. The walk back was uneventful till they reached the entrance.

The moment they reached it they saw yet another templar. Thrask and the other templar known as Karras argued till Hawke came out.

"Who are you?" Karras asked.

"The mages surrender. Take them in." Hawke said gesturing to the mage girl.

"Riiight. Once a mage tastes freedom that is all they want. Not going to let the rebals preach it to the tamed ones." Karras said.

Hawke remained quiet for a breif moment. Something begining to snap in within his mind. A slight pressure building up.

"They deserve some sort of trail..." Hawke growled.

"Not going to happen. These mages aren't people. Not since they know what freedom tastes like. Don't want the tamed ones following their example." Karras said walking up to Hawke. Clearly not afraid of the larger man.

Hawke's mind began to spin ever so slightly. His vision focusing in on Karras as it began to tint dangerously to red.

"Please you can't just hand us over to this brute!" The Grace whined.

"Karras. We are not the ones to decide this. The mages deserve to be heard out." Thrask told Karras.

"And what? Be mind washed? No I say we kill them off here. Now hand them over friend." Karras said threateningly towards Hawke.

Hawke's facial exspression went nuetral then as the small voice in his head began to scream. His mouth began to water as he licked the inside of his teeth. So this templar wanted to be a ruthless killer huh? Not even going to see if these mages were worthy of a chance at life. Well Karras might think he is mean. But Hawke was meaner.

"Step... back... Templar... They will not give themselves tamely like slaves to your blade..." Hawke threatened as he reached for his axe.

"Thrask. We will talk later on your choice of allies. Men a-" Karras was suddenly cut short as a sharp guantlet pressed itself deeply into his throat. In one swift movement Hawke swung his battle axe free and slashed it straight through the templar pinned in front of him. A spray of blood erupted from the severed lower half of his body as the contents of his stomach fell to the ground. Karras gasped futilely for breath before he ceased movement as he hung aloft in Hawke's grip. By the sick twisted smile that shown on the large man's face. His followers knew that they had no choice but to fight now that Hawke had initiated the battle. Thrask forced himself to turn against the other templars after tearing himself from the gruesome display of death before him. He needed to protect the mages. That is what a templar must always do. Hawke watched a bit more while as his followers clashed their weapons against the templars. He dropped what was rest of Karras to the ground before walking into the fight himself. His smile grew as he began to paint the sand and rocks with blood. Oh how delightful it all was. Hawke was sure his heart would burst. The fool of a templar did not bring enough cattle to the slaughter. Hawke was a tad disappointed but he smiled non the less. Though he silently wished the blood shed would last a bit longer.

Aveline glared at Hawke but said nothing. Varric simply shrugged and proceeded to clean Bianca of gore. Fenris was not quiet sure but the way Hawke had worded the last thing he said. Struck Fenris as odd. In fact. Fenris didn't disapprove. He was in shock. He just defended mages. He shook his head as he looked up to see Grace run up to Hawke and Thrask.

"By the Maker... They're dead. I wanted this to end peacefully..." Thrask said as he looked around himself.

"There is never going to be peace between templars and mages. Sir." Grace said.

"... Wonderful. Now what." Hawke asked not quite all there.

"I guess my side has been picked. I will give a false trail. You need to go now." Thrask said looking at Grace.

"Thank you for not handing us over. Here take this. We must away." Grace said before scurring off with the other mages.

"Come Alain. Sorry you were the only one I could save..." Thrask said walking off with the boy.

Hawke stood for a moment before looking down at the Starkehaven staff. He slightly growled. He tossed it to the side without much care and began to walk off. Varric eyed the staff and picked it up. Aveline looked at Hawke for a moment and wondered what was going through his mind. Fenris as well was wondering what the larger man was thinking.

Hawke walked back to Kirkwall with his followers in tow. He was not sure what had just happened. He helped a bunch of mages go free. It was somehow due to the way that templar spoke. Either way what is done, is done. His sister would be happy to hear the news. The same as the other damnable mages. Hawke let off a sigh. He wondered if letting abominations go was the right thing to do. Though a part of him felt better. Why? He wasn't so sure. After all. What is Mercy to him anyway?

 **A/n I always get Fenris to 100% Friendship at this point in all my games :3**  
 **So he never says shit back to me XD**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 Demons Abound

 _A/n Magic, magic, and even more magic. Wonder what Hawke thinks about all this? Also this has a bit more dialouge._

Walking through Hightown seemed to once again attract some poor soul conversing with another damn templar. This woman was no elf. Her crying seemed to hit several nerves in Hawke's head. He just wanted some peace and quiet. He glared at the crying woman and her pleas towards the templar. The templar left from her side and she continued to weep.

Fenris followed Hawke's gaze. -That elf had been trying harder to follow Hawke wherever he went. Hawke finally left the elf be. Mainly because he became use to the elf's presence. But Hawke would mentally denie acknowledgement to the branded warrior. Trying to distance himself anyway he could so he would not get close to who he called the ' _Bastard Elf_ '. Hawke avoided all contact with the elf. Finding such physical touch in general to be beyond useless, worthless, and over all annoying. Despite his prefrence to touch. He made an absolute mental law, that **NO ONE** was allowed to touch the elf. Simply because Hawke secrectly valued his warrior brethren. Though Hawke would not openly admit.- Fenris stared intently at Hawke. Trying his hardest to figure out the larger man's thought process. He observed Hawke make his way over to the distressed woman.

Hawke began to inch his way towards the crying woman. He was getting truely tired of such a pathetic noise offending his hearing. He let out a small growl as he walked up to the woman. Standing directly behind her and glaring down at her. The woman felt a chill run down her spine and shivered.

"Cease your pathetic whining woman. What ever reason for your tears can not be changed by crying." Hawke growled lowly. The woman turned around and looked up at Hawke.

"I-i am sorry... I did not mean to cause a scene..." She said trying to stop her tears that seemed to flow like a waterfall.

"I can not fathom what it is that has such a woman as yourself whining like a newborn babe." Hawke said curtly.

"... It is my brother... Kerran. He is in the templar order. A reqruit... He... went missing. I know it. He always writes me everyday. He hasn't written back in a week..."

"Perhaps he is busy and has not found time to write you."

"I asked the others in his order. They say they haven't seen him. And when I question them and the Knight Commander. They say nothing. I think the Knight Commander got rid of him."

"Oh really now..." Hawke said now finding slight interest in the matter.

"You hear dark rumors about the Knight Commander. It is not safe to talk of her in public. she has people watching. Sir. Please. Can you do something for me?"

"What can I do that you can not, woman."

"Can you find out about my brother please?" she pleaded.

"Why would I wish to do that. I do not even know who you are..."

"I... I am Macha. Please I will try to find some way to pay you if you do this."

"... If I find myself in the Gallows. I might ask around. I offer no garrentee." Hawke said turning to walk away.

"Thank you!" Macha said finally smiling a bit.

Fenris watched and silently followed Hawke. Hawke went on his way taking a route that lead to the Undercity. Fenris frowned. He hoped they would not go to the mage. To his suprise Hawke went straight through heading towards the docks. Fenris figured this is Hawke's way of saying 'We have a job to do.' Fenris began to wonder why they were not taking anyone else with them.

"We are going to the Gallows. Are we not?" Fenris questioned. Hawke merely hummed as if that would give a clear answer. "Is there a reason we are going without some of the others?"

"If I say it is to fuck you. Would you quit with the questions..." Hawke rudely jested. Fenris stopped as he seemed to choke on his next words.

"Y-y-you what?!" He responded. His face and ears turning red in color.

"I knew that would stop your pointless questioning. Now get moving, Elf. We have a mystery to solve." Hawke said with seriousness though there was a hint of a chuckle. Fenris hesitated before hurring after Hawke.

"..."

"... If you wish to know the answer then think, Elf. Bethany can not come for she is a mage. I will be dealing directly with Templars. The other mage would make a scene and the girl would just get in the way. That whore is off looking for her damnable relic. Aveline is busy at work. And the dwarf was dragged off to some Merchant Guild meeting with his son of a bitch brother."

"Which leaves... You and I." Fenris said trying to hide his blush.

"Correct... Now do not delay. Least I leave you at the docks and deal wih this fucking shit myself."

"Understood."

The two of them reached the docks and waited for the next boat to the Gallows. Fenris shifted side to side. Unsure what he should say to Hawke. He wished to converse with the larger man. Though Hawke was know to be rude during such idle talks. Fenris sighed and simply accepted the strange peaceful silence between them. After all. Hawke was not know to enjoy small talk. Hawke would rather have a deep conversation that bordered the unknown in its entirety. Always changing. Alway confusing. Always interesting. Fenris wished Hawke talked more than just business. He seemed to enjoy listening to the larger man. He also respected him. Not many can say they earned Fenris's respect. Fenris also seemed to admire Hawke's decisive nature. Hawke always spoke true. He was intelligent beyond compare. His power was unmatched. Yet despite all the things that made him stronger than any other man alive. He was just that. A man. He had many faults to hindered his greatness. From what Fenris had learned about Hawke so far. Fenris could easily list near to all faults the large man had. He had a mental list of pros and cons.

Pros-

Hawke was honest and never lied.  
He did not entertain childish behavior.  
Hawke does not make false promises. Or promises he cannot keep.  
He was direct and to the point.  
He could outsmart even the most intellectual tacticians.  
He is well trianed and brutal with a weapon.  
He had respect for women no matter who they were.  
He hated slavers.  
He does not deal with demons.

Cons-

He was a Reaver.  
He was an overly dependent acoholic.  
He is extremely hateful in everyday conversations.  
He finds saticfation in the suffering of others.  
He has no respect for someone he deems 'worthless'.  
He is easy to provoke.  
He solves things with violence.  
He appears to be a cannibal and does not denie it.  
He has a sick love for blood.  
He is almost completely blind.  
He has no regard for half the laws in Kirkwall.  
He enjoys mindless killing.  
He is vulgar and disrespectful about things of a sexual nature.  
He also seems to enjoy over using the F-word.

Fenris could easily identify the faults outweighing the benifits. Then again. He was the only one counting. Fenris looked up as the boat finally docked. He and Hawke borded the boat and waited for it to set sail for the Gallows. He sat beside Hawke and waited in silence. He spied Hawke taking a long drink from his bottle. Fenris silently wondered where in the Void they come from. It was as if those bottles appeared out of thin air. In fact just how many was on Hawke? Fenris had already counted five that Hawke had threw away earlier in the day. Now Hawke was on the sixth bottle! They haven't even went to the Hanged Man. Then again... There might be some sort of pack hidden beneath Hawke's long thick unruly hair. Fenris even wondered how Hawke could attach that battle axe to it's strap with all that hair cascading onto his back. In fact. How could any man _want_ to have hair that long. Such questions continued to bother Fenris. After all. When he first met Hawke. He had looked at the man and silently asked the question why. Now in some customs. A person's hair granted power. Especially in one legend. Fenris wondered if Hawke would shrink and become weak if he took a dagger to the larger man's hair. Fenris unconsiously reached out and ran his fingers through the larger man's hair.

Hawke paused his drinking as he opened his eye. He gave a sideways glance at the elf beside him. Was that bastard elf running his fingers through his hair? Hawke's grip tightened on the bottle he held. Why on earth would that elf violate his personal space? Hawke ground his teeth till they interlocked. The sharpened tips of them piercing his the gums slightly. Why would the elf dare such physical contact? Hawke inwardly growled. He suddenly whirled and caught the offending hand in his right hand. Fenris let out a small undiginified yelp that betrayed a femininty to it. Such a sound amused Hawke to know end. He almost smiled at the elf.

Fenris attempted to pull his hand free but Hawke's grip was like that of a crushing vice. He looked up at the larger man. A small hint of a blush was slightly visable on his face. He was well aware of how he had sounded the moment Hawke took hold of his wrist.

"If you want touch me in that manner. Then you must know that you are running your hand over the wrong place, Elf." Hawke slowly said with a wicked smirk on his face. He noticed the elf's face darken.

"I-i was simply curious about your hair... Nothing more..." Fenris said trying not to look flustered.

"Why not fiddle with your own hair and leave mine be." Hawke said releasing Fenris's wrist. Fenris flexed his wrist and inspected the metal plating.

"I meant no harm. I was simply curious. There are things about you that I still do not understand..." Fenris said honestly. Hawke sighed.

"Such a venial action for mere understandment... Why does my person implant such inquiries into your mind, Elf." Hawke demanded.

"You are not like most people Hawke... Everything you do is strange. I have observed the others and they do no such things like that of you."

"Because they are not me. I am what I am. There is no getting around that. Whether my prescense sparks doubt or uncertainty in you is because you refuse to accept such possiblity that I am myself." Hawke said taking a drink. "Every time something about me confuses you. You continue to tell me that you are trying to understand me. There is nothing to understand if your mind is not open to realization."

"... Such words of knowledge. No normal person can speak in that way without being educated. Either by endless nights of study. Or vigorous training that beats it into one's mind."

"My knowledge is obtained by observation. I have done nothing special to attain such otherwise."

"I see... So... Why is it you wear your hair long then. Surely an enemy can use it to gain leverage over you."

"Heh. I use it as a lure. Most do think that they can use it as a tactical advantage. But my hair hides dangers that can cut and bleed an enemy. You did not reach far enough to feel them."

"I'm sorry? What are them?"

Hawke reached into his hair and pulled what looked like razor wire out for Fenris to see.  
"I have these small strands littering my hair in the back. They are very small and do not harm me. Yet if one was to vicously grab hold and jerk.."

"It would cut into them as they twist their hand. Thus getting lodged into their gloves or guantlets..." Fenris finished.

"Exactly."

"But... I remember Bethany hiding her face in your hair. How did it not harm her?"

"Because she knows they are there and moves them aside. She is no fool. Besides. They remain up against my back till I whip my hair about during battle. They are not even attached to my hair, but a small rod of metal at the back of my collar. Which is removable. If you are wondering if I sleep with it equipped."

"I see... My appologies for my actions earlier. I did not intend to invade your space... Hmm? Looks like were are at our destination." Fenris said as he saw the Gallows.

"Good. I have need to instigate an investigation on some woman's brother. Keinan... Or whatever the name of the templar was."

"Kerran."

"Whatever."

Con number 15. Hawke was bad at names. Or he just didn't give a damn.

Fenris sighed as he added that con to the list. He followed Hawke off the boat and into the main part of the Gallows's courtyard. Fenris shuddered yet again at the statues of slaves. out of the corner of his eye he spotted Thrask. The templar gave Hawke a wary glare. Thrask really didn't like Hawke. Fenris looked towards the larger man. Hawke stood still as he lifted his head. The sun caught on the twisted headgear of his eyepatch. It gleamed like copper fire as he turned his head. Hawke looked off to a group of templar recruits. They had the in training armor on. So it was easy to spot. Their armor did not shine as brightly as the actual full fledge templars. Hawke made his way towards the recruits. They seemed to shuffle about themselve. Till one saw Hawke and paled. The others wasn't sure why he was like that. They turned to see Hawke walk up to them.

"You are the recruits..." Hawke stated.

"Yes. And who are who, sir?" The woman templar said.

"Hawke... Now. Where is Kerran." He demanded.

"I am not allowed to tell you anything." The female said.

"Screw that! I haven't seen Kerran in a week! I say Knight commander did something!" One guy said.

"B-but our orders!" The other guy said.

"I don't care. Recruits are going missing!" He said to the younger one.

Hawke spent about fifthteen minutse hearing about conspiricy theories from the two men about the Knight Commander Meredith. Hawke began to get a tad impatient and ended up baring at them. Finally the woman recruit said something about a guy named Wilmond. She said that if Hawke hurries. He might caught up to him and the Knight Captian known as Cullen.

Hawke and Fenris went about finding the location on the map where this Wilmond would be. They made their way on a narrow ledge that lead to the supposed camp. They soon heard yelling. They hurried their pace and saw Knight Captian threatening a guy who must be the Wilmond they were looking for. Cullen kneed Wilmond in the crotch and dropped him to the ground and drew his weapon. Hawke merely watched. Cullen noticed Hawke and Fenris and spoke to them.

"This is templar business. I must ask you to- Wha!"

"You have struck me for the last time templar! To me!" Wilmond yelled as his body twisted and morphed into that of a demonic visage of his former self. Abominations sprung from the ground along with demons. Hawke smirked as he drew his axe and readied himself for battle. Fenris too pulled his weapon from his sheathe as he readied himself to attack.

The demons and abominations where no real match to the three warriors. There was an odd rythm between the three as they worked together to down demon upon demon. And the abominations were cut down with just as much force. When the final one fell Cullen breathed deeply.

"I knew... I new he was involved with something sinister! But... This I never..."

"Get over it Templar. I was charged to find a templar named Kerran."

"He and Wilmond was friends... I had been noticing recruits going missing. I figured they were helping friends in the circle escape. I never thought that THIS was going on."

"And here I was hoping the Knight Commander was killing off the weak minded recruits. Such a shame this theory is false."

"Is that what the recruits are saying? Maker they are worse than a weaving circle."

"So what of these recruits that went missing..."

"They have been disappearing. Wilmond was the first one to come back... So I figured I would follow him when he left again in secrect. Though. You saw how that turned out. I am glad you and your friend happened upon me when you did."

"Yeah... Get to the point Templar. For I am growing bored and I desire some form of entertainment."

"Well. If it would entertain you. Could you help with my investigation?"

"Depends."

"Well a number of the recruits that went missing had went to the Blooming Rose but I have not been able to invest- err. I a mean talk... to any of the woman..." Cullen seemed to blush.

"Never trust a face that offers to bring you to the Maker and back. Because I heard such people suck. Heh." Hawke jested. Resulting in Cullen turning slightly red in the face.

"Ummmm... Riiight... Well then.. Umm."

"Speak templar. It was just a jest. Unless you really-"

"N-no! I um. I think they did not want to talk in fear of having to be shut down for catering to our troops...Yeah..."

"I suppose I could ask..." Hawke said taking a yet another bottle out from some unseen pocket.

"Thank you."

"You're not welcome Templar..." Hawke growled as he turned around and took a swift drink. "Come on, Elf." Fenris nodded and left behind Hawke. Leaving Cullen by himself.

Almost an hour back to Kirkwall.

Fenris gave off a low sigh as he sipped some water from the small pouch he carried with him. He watched Hawke walk through the most southern gate leading to Hightown. The tall man downed the rest of the bottle he had been nursing and hurled it aside. The bottle shattered against the wall. Fenris looked at the shattered glass. Well Hawke seemed to be in good spirits. If his behavior was considered good. The two of them made their way to the Blooming Rose. First time they went there, Bethany and Varric was with them. Now it was just him and Hawke. Fenris seemed a bit distracted as he followed Hawke inside the brothel. He wondered what kind of information they could possibly acquire at this location. Well. Other than which woman -or man- the recruits have been seeing. Fenris did not like being in the brothel. The way the workers stared at him. He wished for nothing more than to back up into the shadows. He then noticed Hawke glaring at him from the stairs. He hurried his way over to Hawke. They went up the stairs and into a room where some woman by the name Idunna was. Appearently she has been seeing the recruits.

Idunna turned around to see Hawke walk into the room.

"Mmm~ Such a big boy."

"Mhm... I have a question for you."

"Whatever is your question concering me, Sir? I can give you a list of my services for you and your friend."

"Rather not... Have you ever entertained a templar named Wilmond..."

"Wilmond...Wilmond... No. not at all." She said sitting down. "Enough with the questions. Why don't we have some real fun~" She said invitingly on her bed. She eyed Fenris and Hawke both.

For some reason Fenris could not help but say one thing. "She... May not know anything..."

"The fuck is wrong with you, Elf..."

"I... Don't know..." Fenris gave a worried exspression. Something was wrong with him. Hawke thought as he looked at the smaller man.

"You should listen to your friend. Now who told you about little old me?" She said eyeing Hawke lustfully.

"... I don't franky give two shits about that wench. I didn't bother with a name... Now I was asking you a que-" Hawke felt strange like someone was trying to claw their way into his mind. He let off a growl and simply took a drink. "Question..."

Idunna frowned as she sat sideways on her bed and pricked her finger out of Hawke's sight. Though it was the wrong move. For Hawke could smell it.

"Why don't you do something for me instead?" She said casting her spell on Hawke. She stood up and walked over to him. He should now be completely under her control. Though something was off.

"Hmm..."

"Draw your blade and slide it across your throat."

Hawke drew his dagger. Though it made no move to his throat.

"Do what I say." Idunna growled.

"Why should I listen to you... You have no magic over me blood mage. But the elf you do... I can practically hear his mind screaming... Now. Die bitch." He said walking towards her.

"W-why aren't you being affected! No get back! Stop don't yo- Guhh!" She didn't finish her sentence as Hawke plunged the dagger into her stomach.

The moment she was dead, Fenris let out breath. A sigh of relief. "She would of been a powerfull magister..."

"Yes... But she bleeds like any other useless waste of space. There has to be something to give us details."

"Might I suggest those books over there?" Fenris said looking to some books and paper.

Hawke gave a grunt and walked over an picked up the papers. He growled slightly as he looked at them. Not sure what to make of them. He then thrusted them to the elf.

"Read these to me, Elf." He said with a growl.

Fenris gave a bewildered look at the papers and got mad at Hawke.

"Read them yourself!"

"... Don't start being pissy, Elf. Now just read the damn thing so we can find out where they are!"

"Why don't you read them yourself, Hawke." Fenris growled.

Hawke gave a growl. "Because I can't fucking read Elf! Now quit wasting time!"

Fenris was taken aback. "Wait... You... Can't read?"

"Never could... Though you can. I have seen you reading things."

"I... Cannot read either. I have been trying to understand the written language when ever I could. In hopes that I may learn..." Fenris said honestly.

"Are you telling me... That neither of us can fucking READ?!"

"Being a slave means you are not taught to read. If a slave could read it would make them wonder about freedom... The Magisters did not wish for any of their slaves to read..."

"Wonderfull... Then I guess we have to take this to Bethany..."

"How is it you can not read, Hawke?" Fenris asked.

"Magic and dragons fucked me up... I always had problems wih reading and writing. After what happened to me... Well. I just gave up. Though... I can see if Bethany or my Mother can teach you how to read. With any luck you will be better at aptting to it than I was." He said walking out of the room with the book and papers.

"I would apperciate it Hawke."

Con number 16. Hawke cannot read!?

In Uncle Gamlen's shack.

"They are somewhere in the Undercity Brother... Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" bethany said holding the letter.

"I do not want whatever demons may be down there to harm you, Sister." Hawke said as he got up from his chair. He glanced over at his Mother and Fenris. Though Hawke could not listen in as Bethany started talking to him again.

"You poor dear. From what Jake said. I will be happy to help you. After all. He seems to be close to you. I am glad he has someone he can call friend again." Leandra said.

"He had a friend before?" Fenris asked slightly confused.

"Yes. Two of them. An elven boy named Reado. And a girl named Lillian. They were his best friends... Though... They were killed... By dragons that happened upon the our tiny village. Jake tried so hard to protect them. But he was just so young.. Ever since then he has been closed off."

"That is the reason he is the way he is now? You mean."

"Yes. Everytime we think he is making a friend. They always disappear... I ran into one of the boys who tried to be his friend the other day. In the market. Everytime they figure out what he really is. They just leave. So my baby quit trying. Please don't abandon him like the others." Leandra asked almost pleading with Fenris.

"I..." Fenris started.

"Come on, Elf. We need to go. Now rather than later." Hawke said walking to the door.

Fenris looked over to him then back at Leandra. He simply nodded his head and said goodbye. Leandra let out a sigh. She was happy that her little boy was finally making friends.

The duo started their way back to Darktown when they ran into a familar red head.

"There you are Hawke. Been looking for you." Aveline said coming to stand infront of him.

"Whatever for, Aveline... I have not harrassed anyone... Yet."

"Funny. But I'm not here to bring you in. I finally got off work. And I was bored. So what kind of trouble is going on in Kirkwall now?"

"Demons abound and it involves Templars turning into abominations. They are located in Darktown. Kerran might not last much longer. If they are implanting demons into reqruits... Blood magic surely."

"Direct and to the point. You would make a good gaurd. If you ever bothered to take orders from anyone other than yourself."

"I rather take your place as Guard Captian."

"Knew it! Come on. Let's head there soon."

"Follow me if you must Aveline.."

The three warriors made their way to the Undercity where they ran into Anders. He was walking back to his clinic.

"Mage..."

"Oh. Hello Hawke. You need me? I'm free." Anders said with a slight smile.

"Of course you're free. I can do whatever the fuck I want with you." Hawke said with a twisted smile.

"Uhh... Not like that... Sorry." Anders said with a blush clearly catching on.

"Just go back to your clinic. I don't need you becoming more possessed than you already are." Hawke said walking past him.

"O-kay..." He said looking after the larger man before looking at Aveline and Fenris. Aveline just shrugged. Fenris didn't even bother to look at Anders.

Anders shrugged and went on his way.

Further in the Undercity they found the entrance to the so called Sanctuary.

Fenris got a bit giddy. "I will take great pleasure in routing out these blood mages... It will not be the first time..." The Elf said. Hawke gave off a sick smile as he silently approved of the comment from the elf.

Hawke walked in further and stopped. Something wasn't right. Sure it looked empty. He reached in to the pack on his back. He pulled forth yet another bottle. He looked at it for a moment. The bottle was empty. He rolled his shoulders and hurled the bottle out towards a spot on the floor. Fire erupted as the bottle hit a hidden pressure plate. The fire died down as the plate rose again. The bottle had been hurled with enough force. Just enough to set off for a short time. Aveline and Fenris looked at Hawke.

"Whatch where you step. Least I get something to eat." He let out a disturbing laugh as he walked forward.

"Cannabilism is wrong Hawke." Aveline said with a frown.

"Meat is meat. Besides. It isn't against the law to eat a dead person in order to perserve yourself."

"But it is still a person!" Aveline said a bit outraged. Fenris remained quiet.

"If we were stranded in the middle of nowhere. Where there was no food. The weakest memebr of the group would die. Now how long would you go without having the thought of eating that person."

"I wouldn't eat them! I mean. What if it was someone I care for? What if that person is cared for by someone else?"

"What if they gave you permission to eat them when they died? What if they willingly gave themselves to be eaten? Then what would you do?"

"I still won't do it!" She said sidestepping another trap in order to get on the stairs. "It is mainly due to prinicple. And Humanity."

"Fuck Principle. And fuck humanity. I will do what I must in order to perserve myself. If that means devouring the corpse of a stranger or even a loved one. Then so be it."

"..." Fenris looked back and forth between them.

"I... I am not going to argue this with you Hawke... Though you do seem like the person to consider such. I will give you that. I myself would never do such a thing." Aveline said.

They trio made it down a flight of stairs and came to a strange scene. Some boy was suspended in the air. Curled up in the fetal position. Hawke eyed him warily. Surely a strong magic was holding the boy up. He was almost fully unrobed. Hawke cautiously made his way over to the Boy. But a voice stopped him.

"Oh look more fodder for the demons!"

Hawke turned and saw a woman in white garb. She also had white make up on. Hawke gave off a disgusted noise. Why someone wished to paint themselves to resemble a corpse is beyond him.

"Another mage resorting to blood magic to fuel their spells and experiments. How pragmatic." Hawke drawled.

"I am not some poor woman who went running to a demon! I embrace them as an equal!"

"Same fucking thing... Are you willing to relay such information on how you allow demons to possess templars..." Hawke asked quite dully.

"Oh yes~ Demons can inhabit more than mages and corpses. With help they can take over anyone I wish! Just think what the Knight Commander will say when her entire templar order is filled with Demons! HA ha ha!"

Hawke reached for his axe. "You could try to give me to your demons. But they wouldn't want me."

"Ohh~ The demons like spirit! Kill the vessels only if you must! Either way there is no loss! Their bodies will be fodder for the compost pile." She laughed drawing her staff. Her companions drew their weapons as well and ran forward. Along with them demons sprang from the ground as a desire demon walked from behind the woman.

"Was it wise to let Kerran go? He could of been possessed." Aveline asked.

"If he was possessed the demon would have tried to defend its host from me." Hawke said rather curtly as they left the underground sanctuary.

"How could you be sure?" Fenris asked.

"Because. I'm Fucking Hawke." Hawke said as he walked ahead.

"..." Aveline sighed as she followed after him. Fenris hmphed to himself as he too followed after Hawke.

Hawke had remain quiet as he walked to the docks. He needed to let Cullen know. He waited for the boat to arrive. Behind him Aveline and Fenris had started to engage in conversation.

"So... You are named after a famous knight?" Fenris asked looking over to Aveline.

"Everyone brings up the name." Aveline sighed.

"Who is Sir Aveline?" He asked.

"They don't tell of her glorious downfall in Tevinter?"

"Not to slaves..."

"... Well pardon me for saying this... But thank the Maker for that!" Aveline spoke happily.

"Do you truely not like your name sake?"

"Not really no. I mean who is Sir Aveline to me? It was just a name my father gave me. Anyway. What about your name Fenris?"

"Hmm. I do not know my real name. Fenris is something Danarious bestowed upon me. It means 'Little Wolf'."

"Couldn't you change your name though?"

"Couldn't you?"

"Hah. A fair point." Aveline laughed. Fenris smiled lightly at her. Hawke growled and barked at both of them.

"Enough with y'alls insipid banter." Hawke growled.

"Well. Someone finds our conversation dull. Is it truely as insipid as those drinks you swill?" Fenris countered.

"Crafty little fucker. I am tempted to remove your tongue from your head. So be wary." Hawke said as the boat docked.

"I shudder the thought, Hawke." Fenris said with snarky attitude. Aveline couldn't help but snicker at this. As they boarded the boat.

"Keep that up Elf. And I will shove your damn ass off this boat." Hawke warned.

"Matters not to me. I can swim. Though I doubt you can. You would probably sink like a stone."

"Do not goad me on, Elf."

"I'm not. I am simply pissing you off." He chuckled.

"I fucking hate you, Fenris. Now do stay away from the edge least I shall push you in without a second thought."

"Understood, Hawke."

Hawke wandered off a short way away the other two warriors. Aveline looked after Hawke then focused on Fenris.

"What in the Maker's name got into you, Fenris? You are getting very gutsy as of late when talking to him." Aveline asked. Fenris shrugged.

"I have slowly lost my fear of that man. Is all. He is not as stoic as he appears." Fenris answered.

"So you have been getting through to him. Good. I thought that getting through to him would be impossible." Aveline said taking a seat.

"He has his moments. You just have to know what to say."

"I guess so."

As soon as the boat docks at the Gallows, Hawke gets off along with Aveline and Fenris. They head towards where Cullen stood. Kerran was hugging his sister. Cullen turned and saw Hawke.

The conversation lasted a few minutes near to an hour. Talk of demons and what had happened in the Undercity. Hawke vouching to let Kerran stay in the Templars. Cullen saying mages are not like him and Hawke. Hawke had merely rolled his eye at this. Though where he stood on the matter was not entirely voice fully. All in all. Hawke was paid and so he left. Along with his followers following after him.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 Qunari Beat Down

All Qunari related quests.

 _A/N I have come to realize that while playing my game according to this story. I have already max out Fenris's Friendship metter. So the Branded Bastard won't care what I do now. Huzzah!_

It was early in the morning when Fenris heard the sound off metal upon metal in the foyer of his home. His eyes snapped opened as he grabbed his great sword and cautiously made his way to his room door. What puzzled him the most was it sounded like there was a fight going on his own home. He went up besides the door and was ready to open it when he heard and saw the door shake violently along with the sicking sound of blood gushing from an armored body. The blood began to seep under his doorway. He was about to push open the door when he heard a familiar disturbing laugh. "Who knew coming here in the early morn would be so exciting? Hahaha." Fenris froze in his place. It was Hawke but just who was Hawke fighting? Then it came to him. Slavers. Fenris burst open the door of his room to see the remains of what looked like a Tevinter slaver mage. He hurried his way to the staircase and saw Hawke slam his left hand into the man infront of him. Ripping out his opponent's heart before kicking the man down to the ground. Before he brought his boot down onto a man's head, crushing it. Fenris cringed slight at the display. "You are awake finally, Elf. You have very poor security here. I warned you to make for sure the back entrance was locked. But you did not listen. Good thing I was here to correct your misstake..." Hawke said as he turned to Fenris. Fenris took a deep breath as he saw the large man turn completely towards him. He entire left arm was dripping blood from the large gash, cut deep ito his upper arm. He raised his left hand to his mouth as his blood ran freely for a few moments before reversing their direction and seeping back into the wound. Fenris felt the need to throw up due to how the man was healing himself. Hawke was bitting into the heart that was ripped from the man beneath Hawke's foot. Fenris was unsure if he should keep his sword drawn or whether to put it away in Hawke's presence. "I can see you are very conflicted on whether or not I am your enemy. I could potentially be both." Hawke drawled as he devoured the rest of the vital organ. Fenris eyed Hawke warily before putting the sword down. But never truelly putting it away. Hawke glanced at his arm as it finished healing. "All this fucking trouble to get the only other useful fighter in this pathetic group. Well... Besides Aveline... Though she doesn't compare to your speed in battle." Hawke said wiping the blood from his mouth. Fenris looked down from the banister at Hawke. He was sure he was still half asleep but it sounded like Hawke complimented him. Fenris rubbed his eyes trying to wake himself up. He heard the larger man make his way up the stairs. "I suppose I should thank you... Though what gets me is why are you here at three in the morning? The slavers I know. But why you? Or am I dreaming?" Fenris asked. Hawke walked past Fenris and towards his room before standing by the door. "Simple. Coming to get you. Then I spied some people who looked similar to the lot that tried to kill me in the alienage. Put two and two together and there you go." Hawke said as he watched the elf walk his way back into his room dragging the sword behind himself. The bastard was still sleepy. Fenris sat down on his bed and put the greatsword back against the wall. Hawke walked in and stared down at the smaller man. He thought the elf looked overly tired and drained of sleep. "Hmmm. Go back to sleep elf and I will keep watch. You are no use to me when you can barely keep yourself awake." Hawke said turning to look at the door. Fenris shook his head and stood up. "I. Am fine. You came here to request my aid for something. I am ready for whatever..." He said trying to push back a yawn. Hawke gave him a sideways glance. "You do realize I was going to simply wait here in your room till you awoke." Hawke said scratching at his beard. Fenris looked over to Hawke slightly confused due to his tiredness. "You were going to watch me sleep?" The elf questioned. The large man just hummed before answering. "Yes. You are far more interesting to look at asleep then the others. Mainly because I wanted to count how many times you would toss and turn." He stated. Fenris was taken aback. He knew he heard correctly this time around. Hawke's words seemed to wake him up. "How do you know I toss and turn at night?" Fenris asked. "Remember when we went up Sundermount... The entire trek there and back I was watching you lot sleep. You had caught my attention more due to how restless your sleeping habit was. You awoke at the slightest sounds remember?" Hawke said walking to the table and picking up a wine bottle before promptly drinking from it. "I remember. If I recall correctly I slept better the closer I was to you..." Fenris said as he pulled on the rest of his armor. "The weak feel more at ease beside the strong." Hawke droned. He glanced back to see the elf putting on his chestplate and gauntlets.

Hawke inwardly growled as he watched the elf. Part of him wished to remove such useless protection from the elf. Hawke did not like the idea of this elf being covered while in his presence. He would rather watch the bastard elf sleep. Leaving the elf completely vulnerable to him. The whole reason he came so early in the morning. Out of all the other followers Hawke has to put up with. He rather be near the elf. For days now Hawke had mentally kicked himself for having such a carnal interest in the stray elf. He was not know to care for such want of desire other than blood. But this elf was a tempting speciemen. Unlike most elven men this elf was more slender and much taller than his brethren. The term 'lanky' would be most appropriate to discribe the elf. He was different then the others in his group. That bastard was the only one Hawke felt himself comfortable around.

Hawke paused his train of thought, he let out an audioable growl causing Fenris to look at him. Fenris remained silent as he strapped the great sword to his back. He took notice of Hawke glaring at him. He quickly looked away from the larger man. Fenris took a deep breath before looking back at Hawke. Who was drinking from the wine bottle, downing its contents completely in one go. Before he hurled the bottle against the wall. Fenris figured this was going to be the best time to ask what the other reason Hawke was here so early in the morning. "Other than stalking my sleep. Was there something else you wished of me?" He asked. "Tal-Vashoth on the Wounded Coast. Could use the coin from that damn dwarf Javaris.." Hawke stated as he walked to the down and ducked down enough to pass through it. "Could I at least clean up the mess of corpses first?" Fenris said looking at the bodies. "I've already drained most of them of blood. Let's plant them in some other noble's home." Hawke said quiet happily. "Sure that is a good Idea?" Fenris asked. "Actually I just want some pious noble shit to be put in jail." Hawke stated. Fenris shrugged. "Alright then." Was all the elf said.

Fenris wasn't exactly sure why he and Hawke were going so early. Considering on how early it was. None of the others would be awake. Everyone in Hightown were still asleep. It made Fenris puzzle about why Hawke came to his place so early in the morning. Well besides standing in his room like some demented stalker. Hawke also took out some slavers too. So Fenris assumed Hawke wasn't there to kill him. Fenris began to wonder what it would be like if he had to fight Hawke. The man was a beast on the battle feild. Though he was fairly slow. Yet one wrong move and Hawke would have him in a vise. Fenris shuddered a bit at the thought of what way the man would kill him. Maybe it would be better not to think about what it is like to fight the hulking man. His thoughts soon drifted back to why they were the only ones out in the early morning leaving Kirkwall. He just had to ask. "Hawke. Why are we the only ones leaving on this mission?" He observed the large man pause for a moment. "Because. I wish to get this done early before the sun gets out. It would be much easier if it was done at night. But you lot need sleep everyday. I would have went on my own... Then I figured this would be a better idea." Hawke said slowly. "Safety in numbers." Fenris said after him. Hawke slowed his pace before silently looking at Fenris. "... You could say that..." The man said lowly as if in a whisper.

Fenris and Hawke walked their way through the Wounded Coast as the morning gave way to the beginning of the afternoon. Probably around seven or eight, Fenris thought. After all it takes three hours to get to the Wounded Coast. Fenris let out a low yawn before stopping as if looking for something. Hawke stopped and looked towards the elf. He let off a low growl before saying, "Why are you stopping, Elf?" Fenris looked at him for a breif moment before continueing to go through the pouches on his belt. He frowned slightly. "I seemed to have forgoten some of my things back at the mansion..." He said slightly irrated by his own failure to prepare. "And here I had assumed you were the smarter one of this pathetic lot. Evidently I was wrong..." Hawke said with a slight snarl. He turned to walk toward the smaller man. Fenris paused his search for supplies and looked up at Hawke through his hair. Out of habit alone Fenris stepped away from Hawke. Which wasn't entirely the right idea as Hawke pressed closer towards him. Fenris backed himself up right into the side of a rock facing. "Is there something you want Hawke?" He asked warily. He was unsure if he should ready himself for a fight or attempt to sidestep away from the large man. It seemed like a rendition of nearly a month ago, back infront of the Hanged Man late that night. Though unlike that night. Fenris was prepared for it this time. He kept his guard up since he figured Hawke is overall unpredictable. He braced himself mentaly for a verbal assualt like the last time but was suprised when Hawke handed him a small pouch. "The should be enough incase you get damaged." Hawke said handing the pouch to him. "Uh thanks... You do mean 'hurt' correct?" The elf asked slightly confused. "Partly, yes... Damaged. It can stand for anything. An injury, illess, a misfortune, accident, or worse yet a casualty." Hawke stated.  
"You think I am going to get killed? Bah, I am not some hopeless newborn, Hawke." Fenris growled.  
"This. I know already, Fenris... Though you still _pique_ my interests. Such _thoughts_ and _desires_. I have never felt before. These _sensations_ alone is enough to make me question what you are." Hawke said drawing out certain words.  
Fenris froze as he realized that this was Hawke's way of flirting with him. All the other disturbing sentences that were beyond confusing was the larger man's way of flirting. It was no accident. Hawke was deliberately expressing his feelings. Though Hawke had no idea how to make such statements subtle. Fenris knew nothing of how to respond to such things. Hawke's sense of flirtation was different from Isabela's that was for damn sure. Fenris felt his face flush red as the larger man turned around to walk off. Fenris began to feel uneasy. There was no way in the Void that Fenris was comfortable with this. After all He was a man and so was Hawke. It wasn't right. Fenris shuddered with a bit of disgust as a memory flashed through his mind. There was no way he was ever going to allow that to happen to him ever again. Maybe he could convince Hawke to go after someone else. Though part of him silently wondered if it would be different. Fenris remained silent till Hawke spoke up. "Are you going to come with me, Fenris?" Hawke said with a twisted smile. Fenris's face burned slightly darker as he gave a choked laugh. He couldn't even bring himself to respond to Hawke. He just quickly nodded and hurried to catch up with the larger man.

The two of them continued their way through the Wounded Coast when sudden someone called out to them from above. "Come no closer! Turn around before you are beset by my kind! I warn you!" The voice called out. Hawke simply gave off a grunt, which caused Fenris to turn a bit red now considering the situation earlier. The elf shuddered slightly from the sound as he listened to Hawke. "... Sounds like a friend I've never met... I want him dead." Hawke stated harshly with a snarl. Fenris remained quiet. The two of them walked further and came face to face with the owner of the voice. A qunari or, in this case, a Tal-Vashoth.  
"I came to warn you to come no further. Yet you are no caravan..." The Tal-Vashoth said.

"Warn me or to ambush me Qunari..." Hawke growled.

"I am not Qunari..." He responded.

"Well you damn sure ain't a fucking dwarf."

"I am worse. -" The Tal-Vashoth began to explain the whole reason he was warning people. Saying how the others of his kind still cling to what the know as the Qun. The qunari male was beset by Hawke's direct aggression on the matter of fighting. Hawke's feirce personality seemed to spark a fire in the renegade qunari. Giving him the desire to fight along side Hawke and Fenris. The rogue Tal-Vashoth expressed his desire to kill the leader of the Tal-Vashoth. Having been wronged by the murderous coward of a leader. Thus the three warriors stormed through the encampment killing the lot of them. Once all the fighting was done and over with. The rogue Tal-Vashoth gave his own thanks and departed to work as a mercenary. Leaving Hawke and Fenris alone once again amungst corpses.  
Hawke turned to look at Fenris who was knocked unconscious during the fight. Hawke gave off a growl as he walked over to the elf. The three warriors were on the leader. The Tal-Vashoth leader managed to get a hit upside Fenris's head knocking him for a loop. The elf was sprawled on his side. His greatsword discarded beside him. Hawke knelt down by the elf. This was the first time the elf was rendered useless in a fight. Such a disappointment. Hawke had half a mind to simply leave the branded bastard elf. Though the other half of his mind bade him to help his warrior brethren. Hawke closed his eye and let off a growl before reaching out towards the elf. He hesitated. His clawed armored hand hovered within range of the elf's person. Hawke pulled his hand back an inch. He has never touched another person; other than his sister; in a helpful mannor nor a gentle gesture. He stared at the elf a bit longer before he let out a snarl. More at himself than at the elf. He grabbed Fenris by his shoulder. His hand was resting near the elf's neck. If he truely wanted to he could end the smaller man's life with the flick of a wrist. It would be easier for him to kill the elf off and leave it as that. But part of him wanted the elf to stay alive. Simply for some twisted sense of interest in the smaller male. Hawke took a deep breath before fiercly saying, "Fenris." While shaking the elf somewhat gently. The act itself seemed to be alien to Hawke for he rarely does such kindnesses. When the elf did not respond he simply repeated the name and foricbly jerked the elf forward. Which if one thought about it. Such an action was truely a poor choice considering where the injury of blunt force trauma was located. Nevertheless. Fenris gave off a pained groan as well as a grimace. Hawke gave a sick smile from the sound that the elf made. To him, it was just delicious. Though now that the elf was beginning to stir, Hawke released his grip on the smaller man.

Fenris slowly sat himself up while pressing a hand to his head. His mind was spinning as he tried to open his eyes. The first thing he saw was Hawke crouching in front of him. He slowly looked around himself and gave off a sigh. Realizing he was made vulnerable during the fight. "Aw well... Least I'm not dead..." He slowly said sounding relieved. He looked at Hawke then as the man stood. "I could have simply put you out of your misery, Elf." The larger man stated. "I thank you for not carrying out such thoughts." Fenris said grabbing his sword and standing. Hawke gave him forlorn stare. "It won't happen again..." Fenris said trying to make Hawke not look at him like he was a lose cause. "It better not, Fenris." The large man said before turning from him and walking away. "At least this is done. For better or not... Wonder when the dwarf will be at the compound." Fenris said holding his head while he tried to divert the attention from himself. "I'll head to the compound when I feel like it, Elf." Hawke said curtly. "Of course..." The elf said while looking after his so called leader.

On the way back to Kirkwall, Fenris began to question many things. Mainly about Hawke. The man was silent once again. Fenris wondered what he could do to help him better ignore the disturbing way the other man flirted. But the more Fenris thought about it. The more he came to realize that he was a bit possessive of the larger man. The man seemed to show some care for him. Reason for Fenris to be a tad jealous of others. Now Fenris had now idea why he felt that way for the large human. All Fenris wanted was a platonic relationship with the man. But deep down, he wasn't exactly sure of it himself. Resulting in bizzare mixed feelings he simply could not shake. He felt close to this man. He enjoyed every conversation no matter how confusing it was. Though part of him still was unsure. These thoughts and more seemed to trouble him.

Later that same day inside Varric's suite at the Hanged Man. The men were playing a game of Wicked Grace. So far they were losing to Hawke. They simply just couldn't read his face. Varric frowned as he tried to read the large man's exspression. It was simply void of any emotion. Varric started to panic a bit. He glanced at the other two guys sitting at the table. Fenris had folded his current hand and gave a irrated huff. He be damned if he lost anymore coin. Anders was slumped over the table with his head in his hand. Varric looked back at Hawke. The larger man was currently taking a long drink from his bottle. Varric figured this would be the best time to pull a card from his coat. Varric slowly reached for his hidden pocket. Hawke paused his drinking. "You think you can get away with cheating, dwarf... I will cut that hand of your's off." Hawke growled. Varric moved his hand quickly to make it look like he had an itch. "Just scratching Hawke. Heh..." Varric said quickly. "Do not bullshit me, Varric. If I want you to entertain me then I will tell you when." Hawke drawled. Varric looked up with wide eyes. "Holy shit... You actually said my name!"

"Mainly to inform you of the importance of my threat, dwarf."

"Welp. It was interesting to hear you say it."

The door to the suite opened up as Bethany walked in. The four men looked up to her. Bethany walked over to her elder brother and leaned onto his arm in the cutest way she possibly could to make him look at her. "Big brother. Guess what I got." She said sweetly. Hawke merely glanced at her.

"What is it..." The elder sibling asked.

"Well Brother. The Viscount's son is missing. We can get a reward for him." Bethany said waving a paper about.

"I suppose we could... I already took enough money from this lot." With that Hawke put his hand down and stood from the chair.

"Well... I'm broke now..." Anders whined.

"Get over it mage." Hawke said walking after his sister. Fenris shrugged and got up to follow as did Varric.

"Imma sit here for a while..." Anders said with a sigh.

Half an hour's walk later.

The four made it to the grand staircase leading to the Keep. Hawke growled as he looked to the ground rather than the statues. Varric walked past him to be beside Bethany.

"Ahh the Keep. The place where nothing fun ever happens." He said.

"Let's keep it that way, Dwarf." Hawke said stalking past him.

"Sheesh. Does your brother ever have fun?" Varric asked Bethany.

"Sadly he doesn't..." Bethany sighed as the group walked through the door.

Hawke walked past a group of nobles who looked at him. People always seemed to avoid him. Even a few gaurds avoided crossing paths with him. As the group walked past the nobles and up the stairs they come to a scene in front of the Viscount's door.

A woman was talking to Bran claiming to have found the boy on the Wounded Coast and something about Tal-Vashoth. Wonderful. The woman kept saying the Winters would go and drag the boy back. The woman left Bran and walked towards Hawke. She looked up at him for a moment and then back down passing him up. Bran looked up to see Hawke.

"Ugh... Yes. What is it?"

"You have a problem that needs fixing."

Yes. I have many. You probably heard about the Viscount's missing son Saemus. We suspect he was taken by Qunari. You can go bring him back if you wish. I offered no exculisivity to the Winters and their violent approach." Bran said trailing off.

"And you think I ain't trouble."

"I think you are... But right now..."

"I seem much better a choice..."

"Because I have heard about you before..."

"Good for you. I will see to the boy's return."

"Go ahead. But you will have to talk to the Winters on the Wounded Coast. Should you encounter them." Bran said walking away and into the office.

Hawke stepped away from the door and walked towards the stairs. Before he did he set his hand on Bethany's head.

"Good job at finding something I'm good at." He said.

"Yes. Well I figured you would get in trouble if I didn't." She said.

"Let us waste no more time. To the Wounded Coast." He said with a slight bark.

"Lead the way O' Fearless leader!" Varric said after him.

A few hours later as they arrived to the outskirts of the Wounded Coast. A small nagging was in the back of Hawke's head. It made no sense to him at all as he listened to the tiny voices in his head about how much fun it was going to be killing some people. He simply enjoyed bleeding people to death. It made him pick up his pace faster. As he continued to walk some distance further in. He heard the other two men behind strike up a conversation.

"So. Elf. Where's your beard?" Varric teased. Starting the conversation where apparently the two have on a previous day.

"Elves don't grow beards..." Fenris said glancing towards Varric.

"Though you might have shaved it off in a fit of broody pique." Varric chuckles.

"So your a funny dwarf..." Fenris said with a sigh.

"Brother did that before. He got really mad about something and ended up cutting his beard off with a dagger. Though i think it had got caught the armor he used to wear." Bethany said out of the blue. Varric started laughing.

"That explains why his beard is manicured." Varric responded. Hawke gave off a growl and seemed to look over his shoulder.

"Silence sister..." He warned lightly to his sister. Bethany nodded and hurried to walk in step with her brother. Though she inwardly laughed all the while. Before She had a thought.

"Brother. Are you going to do something about the dwarf Javaris?" She asked.

"Done. Might have to report to the Qunari Compound though later." He said glancing at his sister. She nodded and walked close beside her brother.

They continued their walk when they came upon the same woman they encountered in the Viscount's Keep. She was standing over a dead Qunari. Saemus was beyond distraught as he stared at the lifeless body. "Well. I thought that was going to be much harder. But dead is dead." The woman said while turning to the boy. "You... You killed him. Ashaad..." The boy started before he glared at the woman. "You killed my friend! You murdered!" He raged. She made a move toward him. "Back off, girl." Hawke growled as he stepped up behind Saemus. "Ugh. You again... Look the Winter's - I mean I have already claimed the boy." She said. The boy glared at her before speaking. "You Vashedan bitch. I will not go with you! You murdered my friend!" He then turned to Hawke. "If I have to be taken back. I rather not be taken by this monster." He finished. Hawke seemed to be amused by such a phrase before he faced the angry woman's harsh words. Soon resulting in a bloody fight. Afterwords Hawke had half a mind to rip the boy's tongue out himself. Having to listen to the boy go on and on about the Qunari.

Hawke stood behind Saemus in the main office of the Viscount's Keep. Viscount Dumar was talking to his son. He seemed upset but Hawke really didn't care to listen. He glanced at the two along with Bran as the father and son began to argue. He let off a growl. "You both wrong, now get over it." He growled. Bran looked at him as if he said something scandalous. Both Dumar and Saemus looked at him. Hawke turned to leave out not truely caring how the three looked at him. Nor did he care for such poor execution of politics. He was paid. That is what was important. Now He had to head to the compound for that damned dwarf Javaris.

It didn't take long for the four of them to get to the Compound. Hawke wondered if the dwarf was even going to be there as he walked up to the gate. A qunari step between him and the gate. "Let me pass. I have business here with the dwarf Javaris and your Arishok." Hawke stated. "Yes the short mouth. You may enter baasra..." he said opening the gate. Bethany inched closer to her brother as the walked through. Hawke looked around and finally felt like he belonged somewhere. The order of the place was remarkable. He rather liked it here. He soon spotted the dwarf that promised him coin. He quickened his stride.  
"Ah my right hand arrives. Summon your Arishok." He stated to one of the qunari. He then turned to Hawke. "There you are. I've been here for hours. What took you?" Javaris asked. Hawke merely grunted in response. "Course. forgot you ain't much of a talker." Just then the Arishok came walking from a tent to his throne. Hawke looked at the slightly larger male. Hawke wasn't really impressed as he let out a yawn. First then anyone said was Fenris as he spoke in Qunlat. The Arishok looked him and simply responded, "The Qun from an elf? The madness of this... Place." Hawke looked at Fenris. "Friend of no one. Elf." Hawke stated.  
"Well with that said I am here to tell you that your hated Tal-Vashoth was felled. One and all, right? Yes they were. So I am ready for the negotiations. For the explosive powder as we aggreed." Javaris said happily. The Arishok looked at him and simply said, "No." Javaris stood there and whispered to Hawke, "He's not getting it. Make your chatty elf to say something!" Hawke snorted a laugh or what sounded like a laugh. "Why don't you tell them that Qunari never abandon a debt." Hawke growled out with slight snarl. He didn't like the way that dwarf was telling him what to do. The Arishok looked at Hawke. "The dwarf had asked for gatlock and was refused. He invented a task and he paid to have it done. He failed his own goal. He has proved his wealth but not worth. The qunari own him nothing." The Arishok explained. Upon hearing those words Hawke glared at the dwarf. "Lieing little shit owes me my pay. That debt still stands..." He growled dangerously.  
"Does it, dwarf?" The Arishok stared at Javaris.  
"You said yourself there was no bargain. I ain't getting a sodding thing out of this!" The dwarf raged.  
The Arishok stood up along with his guards. "This human did something you could not. Something I didn't expect of any outsider. And you have involved me. If you made a bargain for the Tal-Vashoth. That debt for their lives will be honored."  
"Fine! Here take your coin take whatever!" Javaris said shoving to coin at hawke before he walked off promptly cursing the both of them out under his breath.  
"We're done here. Panahedon Arishok." Hawke said as he turned and walked out behind the dwarf. The Arishok sat back down and watched Hawke leave.

As they left the compound Fenris looked at Hawke. So Hawke knew a bit about Qunari as well. Maybe he was ask the man were he learned about them.

It began to grow dark as the four of them were making their way back up to Lowtown. As they continued to walk they saw a peculiar sight. A sister of the chanrty being lead into an alleyway.  
"She has chosen poorly..." Fenris said with a shake of his head.  
"It's action if I want it. Always coin in saving fools." Hawke said with a grin. Simply the thought of fighting excited him.  
"You're always up for action Hawke." Varric said looking at him.

A quick five minutes later. And another for Sister Petrice and Sir Varnell to talk then leave. Though Hawke had nearly laughed at being considered someone to leap to someone's defense. The group now had to go to a house right across from Hawke's Uncle's. Though First He had to drop his little sister off. He didn't want that damned templar to take his baby sister.

After dropping Bethany off it was just Hawke, Fenris and Varric left. "Time for some late night entertainment." Hawke said with a bit of jauntiness. Hawke was confident this wasn't going to be entirely hard. He just had to make sure Varric didn't get killed on this job least he wouldn't be able to take to the Deep Roads. He made his way over the the building and walked in greeted by Varnell. "Drop the sword or lose the arm. Your choice templar." He growled with warning. Petrice showed up and and talked what seemed like nonsese to Hawke. Hawke gave and obscured look and hurried Petrice along with what she was saying. Thus a Sarabass walked forward and looked Hawke even in the eye. Fenris was puzzled by why a sarabas was here and Varric started fidgitting. After having to hear what the sister said Hawke simply waylaided her with "I don't feel like pissing the Qunari off right now."  
"Maybe I am out of line for saying this, but... Not starting a war with the giants camped out in the city sounds like a _wise_ decision!" Varric said taking a step back to smile a cutely as he could to not be back handed by Hawke. Hawke simply looked back at the chantry sister. Varric prided himself for coping Bethany in this matter for Hawke simply overooked him. He marked that down as a success in his book. Though now the Elf was giving him a weird look as Petrice basicly just shoved Ketojan at them.

Into the undercity they went dragging along this qunari mage. "Clomping through the dark with a horned skulled mage. And two others who add to the weirdness effect..." Varric voiced to himself as the walked through the passage. They continued without much fuss till they ran into some sewer rats. Kirkwallers living in the sewers. At least one of the guys had reason in their head. But the gang leader just had to pull a knife and was shot back by the sarabas at Hawke's heels. So much for control. After the battle Hawke threatened to gut the mage. Hawke seemed furious at the mage. He didn't necissarly like magic being used randomly like that. The sooner he was rid of this thing the better. Once they were out of the underground passage they saw qunari. Wonderful to say the least. Though It was none of Hawke's concern. All he had to down was lead the mage out of the city then leave. What seemed to tick Hawke off was the fact that this other Qunari called him trash. This qunari kept talking and talking. Hawke tuned him out before saying. "Just take sarabas already."  
The sarabas said his thanks to Hawke and was promptly executed. Varric letting out something along the lines of, "I knew you can't trust a zealot!" Before the qunari turned towards them. They soon said the Qun demands his death for the reason of the uncollared sarabas speaking to him. Hawke was too happy to be able cut the lot of them down as Varric took off running a fair distance from them while Fenris readied himself for battle. Though in the back of Hawke's mind he was outraged that they would dare to attack him and his followers. Such actions deserve a reprisal of both actions and words. As soon as he finishes tearing this horned warriors asunder. He has a few choice words to give that chantry sister and The Arishok. Hawke would not stand for such a travesty.

After the battle the triad had a moment to breathe.  
"Bah. Throwing their lives away over such nonsense!" Varric said with a huff.  
"Petrice set up this damned trail." Hawke growled.  
"Such a determined set up. I would want to know why." Fenris said taking a breath.  
"As do I... Anyone who tries to oppose me will die a slow and painful death." Hawke seethed.  
"Good thing we're on your side Hawke..." Varric said standing beside Fenris.  
"Let's go now." Hawke barked as he stormed his way back to thhe city with the other two men in tow.

It was nearing the early morning as the three walked back through Lowtown towards the hovel that Petrice and Varnell was in. Though the walk back to Kirkwall did not calm Hawke's rage. His bloodlust starting to get the better of him as his mind demanded more blood to fuel the fire that burned within him over such deciet. His hands twitched as he ground his teeth together the closer he got to the house. As they walked in, the three observed the duo cleaning away all evidence of them being there. Petrice looked at Hawke in suprise.

"My help from off the street. You took the qunari from the city without incident?" She seemed to ask suprised.

Fenris scowled as he spoke up. "This matter was your doing from the start."

"Hold your tongue elf!" Varnel shouted drawing his blade. Hawke let off a snarl and placed himself between Fenris and Varnell.

"Back the fuck off templar..." Hawke let out trying to control the urge to tear this templar in two.

"Speak your mind.." Petrice said looking at Hawke. Waving off Varnell

"Such a drawn out round about way of killing me off." Hawke snarled

"Do you really think you are so important?" Petrice laughed. Hawke merely growled.

"Threaten my life. Huh. How about i do the same to you." He said stepping toward petrice

"Look you clearly did far more than you were asked. Take this coin and leave me. After all someone has to think of eternity." She said dropping a coin purse onto the floor and quicky evading Hawke and left with Varnell.

"We'll be seeing that one again" Fenris said giving an irrated sigh.

Varric seemed upset by the matter. As was Fenris. But they were not nearly as upset as Hawke. Who was beyond pissed at the moment as his breathing began to waver. Both the other men noticed the way their leader's shoulders rose and dropped unevenly. They backed up in time as Hawke grabbed a nearby table and hurled it up against the far side of the wall. The table split into a broken pile of panels due to its age. Though Hawke was not done as tore a chair apart before tossing it into a fire. Fenris and Varric quickly backed up to the door and defended themselves from any stray flying piece of debris as Hawke tore the house apart in his blind rage. Though once the furniture was destroyed Hawke turned towards the other two men. Neither of them wished to stay there as long as Hawke was not in his right mind. They promptly left out of the house into the open air. Hawke followed them shortly later taking drink from a bottle the two knew well. They took notice that Hawke was heading straight towards the docks. "Um... We should follow him." Varric said lowly and Fenris nodded.

The two had a difficult time keeping up with Hawke as he made his way to the Qunari compound. Hawke walked up to the qunari guarding the gate. "All are forbidden. You are the only exception... For now..." Fenris and Varric managed to get through the gate to follow right behind Hawke. The Arishok looked down from his place. The Arishok was the first to speak.  
"Why are you here human. The dwarf paid you. Your kind think selfishness and want are normal. This city, all of it, leaves a bad taste." This started up a conversation that suprisingly began to put Hawke in a good mood. After a few moments of talking Hawke responded with, "This city is pitifull. It not only it but the people in it disgusts me." Hawke answered. The two then fell into nearly a two hour long talk of order, politics, and so forth. Fenris and Varric glanced back and forth at each other. After they talked Hawke was calmed down. He also seemed happy in the normal sense. Till he remembered why he came there in the first place. The two ended up talking about that too. Though gave off a warning of not letting it happen again as did the Arishok who was rightly impressed. Shortly after their discussion. Hawke left with both Fenris and Varric wondered what in the void just happened.

Hawke seemed to feel better after talking to the Arishok. He enjoyed the deep conversation. It was curt and to the point. Just how he talks on a daily basis. He was truely in good spirits now. At least until someone else pisses him off.

 _A/n in this play through I managed to blow past most of the quests and end up with 50 soveriegns without_  
 _having to do several of the other quests. So I am simply going to skip them in this story to keep the plot_  
 _focused mainly on Hawke and Fenris's interactions. After all I hope to make this story more explicit in the future ;3_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 Feelings

 _A/n The beginning of this chapter is in P.O.V. Fenris. It will resume normal p.o.v. rather quickly however. the chapter just focuses on Fenris and Hawke though so don't expect t see the others this chapter. I has a beta reader now :3 and this takes a really messed up turn near the end._

 **Normal P.O.V.**

It was early morning as Hawke made his way from Lowtown to Hightown. It was around four to five in the morning. Hawke really wasn't keeping track as he made his way quickly through the uppercity to make it to Fenris's house. Out of all the so called friends of his. Hawke seemed to be drawn to the branded elf more and more as of late. Having to deal with several infuriating side jobs. The only person who seems to know what to say at the right time was the elf. Hawke hurried on his pace till he managed to pass the Chantry courtyard. Hawke continued his pace till he was at the front door of the mansion.

 **Fenris's P.O.V.**

I awoke to the front door being opened. Considering what had happened a few weeks prior. It had to be Hawke. The man had made it a constant habit of coming here between three and five A.M. So I figured to leave the door opened for him. Though part of me still wonders if it is truely wise to willingly let a homicidal maniac into my home on a daily basis. The fact that he has verbally assaulted me before is demeaning. Making me forever wary of his intentions. I have discovered that he has a strange twisted interest in me. I am not even sure I wish to entertain his sense of arousal nor interest.  
Either way regardless I have dressed as to be prepared for anything and everything when concerning Hawke. I watch the door as I hear his heavy footsteps echo through the mansion. Sometimes I wonder just how heavy this man is. Instead of knocking like most of the people I have come to know he simply states his presense clearly. "I know you are up, Elf. You have left the door for me open once again. Yet this door is always locked..." He growled from the other side of the door. If he truely wanted into my room he would have broke down the door by now. I get up and walk over to open the door for him. I always have to strain my neck just to look up at him. Luckly all I need to do is acknowledge his presense and he leaves me alone for the most part. It has become a bit of routine. If I am still tired, he watches me sleep. I am still not entirely comfortable of this, but he has never made a move to violate my person. I go about my own business such as training in the backyard of this mansion. I am thankful for it being enclosed and private. When I do not train, I sharpen my sword. Sometimes I observe Hawke make his way into the cellar to pilfer my wine. Though he rarely comes back out with anything. He mainly drinks from his usual unmarked bottle of 'poison' as he so calls it. Hawke for the most part is silent the entire time. If there is nothing to do he simply wastes his time hanging around my home. I had asked him why he does this. To answer my question he simply stated, "Because it is quieter here." I suppose I understand him. I enjoy the quiet as well. Though in truth I don't think he wishes to tell me the full reason behind his constant loitering in my household. For the most part he sits in my room like a statue with an ever present vacant expression on his face. Like he is lost deep in thought. Today is no different as Hawke comes in and sits down. He remains quiet as if mute. I have gotten use to his presense by now. As I am sure he has finally come to accept mine as well. For he takes me along with him more and more. He nearly has enough for his Expedition. I silently wonder if he will take me along with him. Part of me wishes to go along. I sit down in my usual spot at the table and I look towards him. I am unable to see his face from this angle. His long somber hair falls like a thick wall obscuring his face from my view. He always sits with the left side of his body facing me. Judging by the way he holds himself. It seems something is on his mind. I turn from him to look at the book his mother gave me. She has already taught me the letters. She advised me to keep practicing till my letters are straight enough to be understood before she starts to teach me how to make sentences. Bethany comes by as well along with her brother on some occasions. But only if Hawke allows her. He seems incredably strict on her. Sometimes I wonder where he stands on the whole mages vs templars deal. He seems not to care much on the matter. I along with Anders can't seem to sway him to either of our sides. Though the both of us respect him too much to arouse his anger unwantedly. Hawke is mainly docile for the most part if unprevoked. If one considers him trying to viciously bore a hole through someone by glaring maliciously at them or harshly speaking with such vulgarity that one wishes they were dead, docile... Not even the most blissfully ignorant can walk past him without bathing in the waves of contemptment washing off him. Yet his sister remains cheerful. Or. I think she tries to. Hmph...  
I look up from the book to glance at Hawke for a moment before looking back down at the letters. I pause my writing as I slowly glance back at him. He is simply staring at me void of all emotion. His eye focusing on the book for a moment before flicking to meet my gaze. I sometimes wonder what goes through his mind. Yet I shudder to think of it at the same time.

 **Normal P.O.V.**

That bastard elf has been sitting there for a good hour or so practicing his writing. Hawke envied him at times. He was not sure why he was making a habit of openly stalking the elf. Fenris does not seem to mind Hawke's presence. Hawke gave off a low growl as a thought ran through his mind. He always had the urge to murder that elf. Then again he has that urge for anyone. The weirdest thing that Hawke could not understand was the fact he wished to watch the elf sleep. He was much more vulnerable asleep. Hawke continued to contemplate on the matter of the bizzare feeling he continued to have. As he thought about why he wanted to keep the elf alive. He began to recall how that bastard elf moved on the battlefield. The way his body seemed to move gracefully. Something Hawke had never seen before. The way the elf's body bends and pulls to swing that greatsword. So entertaining. Oh how much Hawke wish to make that elf bend to his will. He is the perfect size after all. He is not too small. Unlike the others of this group. They are fairly small. Well other than that mage... Hawke could not be bothered to recall the mage's name nor did he care. This elf is more of a tempting treat than that damned mage. Hawke was still suprised that the elf allows him to watch as he busied himself. Unless he has grown to trust Hawke... Has he grown to trust Hawke? Wait. Why would he trust Hawke? Unless he feels safer in the larger man's presence. Of course. That's it. Such is nature. The weak follow the strong in hopes to extend their own life. Now if only he would allow Hawke to dominate him. Hawke gave a small genuine smile. The idea of the elf letting him do whatever he pleased. Hawke silently eyed the elf luridly. He followed the lines of lyrium with his eye. Hawke started to lick his teeth with his tongue before taking a drink from his bottle. Only to get torn from his dark thoughts at the realization his bottle was empty. He begins to wonder if the elf would allow him something. At the thoughts his twisted mind conjured up, Hawke gave out a deep growl.

 **Fenris's P.O.V.**

I hear Hawke let off a low growl. For some reason the sound caused me to stop what I was doing. A slight blush threatened my face at the tone of the growl. I look towards him to see he has drank the entire bottle he was holding. He tosses it to the side without much care before staring at me. For some reason I can't help but shudder slightly. Something is off with him more so than usual. He gets up and makes his way over to me. The air around him somehow feels darker than usual. With a strange laugh he slams his hand down upon the table as he leans over me. He is uncomfortably too close to me. Though... For some reason I don't really seem to mind... Even if he is giving me the creeps right now. "Fenris..." He said slowly. The way he spoke my name sent chills down my spine. "I... Have... A request..." He breathed against the back of my neck. I could not help but shudder. Another thing I could not help was the redness threatening to show across my face. He was very close to me yet he didn't touch me. As long as he refrains from touching me. I should be alright... I hope. He has never gotten this close to me before. Except on the few occasions to harrass me. I swallowed before answering him. "What is it?" I asked trying to hide the uneaze in my voice. "I wish to taste you." He laughed dangerously. Upon hearing his request though. I could not stop myself from turning red. He wished to taste me?! My skin began to crawl as I tried to get up out of the chair and distance myself from him. He must have sensed my desire to get away from him as he harshly sat me back down. The actions jarred my markings slightly resulting in me hissing in disapproval. It hurt sure but such treatment towards me is unjustified. And yet as I sit here feeling the claws of his guantlet bit through my leather armor. Part of me seemed to get excited by the rough handling. I could feel him breathing in my ear. I closed my eyes tightly. "Are you... Afraid of me, Fenris? If so. I appologize for such torment. I only wish to taste your blood. And maybe a bit more if you allow me. If not... I can easily hunt to satisfy my thirst." He said easing his grip on my shoulders. I had seemed to have forgotten that Hawke was a reaver. A curse of his ability... His desire to feed on the lifeforce of others in order to keep himself sane. I wonder how many people he has killed just to satisfy himself... Sometimes I wish I had never met Hawke. Though try as I might. I couldn't help getting attached to him. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I simply just had to think on this.

 **Normal P.O.V.**

After a quiet pause Fenris let out the breath he held slowly. "H-how about we see what kind of trouble we can get into instead?" The elf said trying his best to divert Hawke's attention. Hawke gave a disapproving growl before humming. "I suppose that would be sufficiant enough to entertain me..." Hakwe droned before releasing his grip on Fenris's shoulders. Hawke slowly stood upright and stepped away from the chair the elf was sitting in. Fenris reached up to where Hawke's hand was previously set. He sat there for a while trying to calm his nerves. He watched Hawke make his way towards the door. The large man stopped short and casted a glance back at Fenris. "It is just midday... I do not wish be around the others of this so called group of misfits..." Hawke growled with a yawn. Fenris let off a sigh as he eyed the larger man. "Then might I suggest looking for thugs in the undercity?" Fenris said as he examined the black metal feathers on his shoulder guard. The elf was silent as he quickly glanced back at Hawke who sat heavily down in the chair at the table beside him. "Hmm... That sounds entertaining but I rather waste time listening to you talk..." Hawke said locking his eye on Fenris. Fenris suddeny felt put on the spot. "Uhh..." Fenris swallowed as he moved a bit in his seat. He wasn't exactly sure what to say really. This was the first time Hawke ever wished him to speak freely. Though Fenris was wondering if this was a way for Hawke to get over the desire to drink elf blood. Fenris shuddered.  
Hawke leaned back in the chair as he eyed the elf. He was amused that the elf went silent. Not something uncommon. The elf normally had something to say when he was roused. Yet this time the elf was just slient. Hawke let out a pleased hum knowing he intimidated the elf into silence. Hawke wondered if the elf would actually indulge him. The smaller man remained quiet. Hawke growled lowly. "To have me ask you to speak is such an honor. I suggest you take the chance to speak your mind. I might not wish to willingly listen to you again." Hawke said scratching at his beard with a low yawn. Fenris looked back at Hawke. "What exactly do you want me to say? I am sure I have nothing worth any interest to you." Fenris stated looking off to the side. Making eye contact with Hawke was unnerving. In truth he had a lot of things to ask the man. Yet it didn't feel like the right time or place for such questions. He gave a sigh as he looked back at Hawke to find the larger man still gazing at him.  
"How about what is on your mind, currently." Hawke said.  
"How unnerving this sudden conversation is..." Fenris sighed.  
"It could be much worse, Elf."  
"True. You could be trying to maul me right now..."  
"I could. Couldn't I? But I have no reason to do such at the moment."  
"At the moment... Hmm... Tell me. What is it you wish to do right now?"  
Hawke was the one to look off into a random direction as if pondering the question. A twisted smile played its way across his face.  
"You do not wish to know, Fenris." Hawke said with a laugh before getting up and promptly walked towards the door. "Might as well deal with some thugs in the Undercity. It could prove entertaining." And with that Hawke left. Fenris shivered slightly before shaking off the feeling and reaching for a bottle of wine left on the table.

Now that Hawke was gone Fenris was alone once again. At least for the rest of the day, anyways. Fenris gave another sigh before he got up. The idea of following Hawke came to him then. Hawke always showed up at his home and lingered there for hours on end. Fenris wondered what the man did on his own. With a deep breath he quickly followed after his so called leader. Curious to know something about the egnimatic man.

Fenris walked outside in the fading afternoon light. He let out another sigh as he looked around. He knew Hawke didn't like walking past the chantry statues. So the best choice of action would to go through the back alley that leads through to Lowtown. Fenris stood at the entrance before wandering into the dark alley. It seemed a bit more peaceful considering not many nobles walk down this path. It was just as elegant as the rest of Hightown. Though it quickly degraded with each step as it lead down to the lower level of the city. Fenris made his way with caution. He had never been down this path before. At some point there was a dead end. Now Fenris knew he seen Hawke go this way the other times. He always watchs Hawke when he leaves. He had to have gone this way. At least Fenris was sure Hawke always went this way. With a disappointed sigh Fenris leaned against one of the walls. Fenris looked around for a bit longer before getting off the wall and walking back the way he came. Before he stopped. For some odd reason something didn't seem like it seemed. He turned around to inspect the area a bit more than he did earlier. No matter how long he examined the area. He could not find anything. Though deep down he knew something was out of place here. With a shrug Fenris turned around and walked back the way he came.

Hawke watched the elf walk away. He knew the elf was following him. Too bad the elf didn't bother to move the sheet of metal against the wall. Hawke gave a yawn as he procceeded to climb down a set of stairs into the Undercity. Hawke wondered why the branded bastard was following him. It didn't matter either way. The elf was gone. As much as Hawke tolerates the elf's presense. Or in this case. Rather enjoys the other warrior's company.  
Hawke really just wished to be alone for the night. After all. His mother was on his back today and the other past days. She was starting to worry more and more about him. She started up about Carver again due to his birthday being next week. Hawke didn't really care about recalling the dead. Even if it was his baby brother. There really wasn't anything for him to do. Carver was dead. That's all that mattered to Hawke. But his mother felt different. She kept remembering him. Hawke wasn't exactly like his mother. He believed that once a person is dead. There is no reason to fret over them. Just dig a hole and dump the body into it. Then say some stupid prayer to a Maker who didn't even exist in Hawke's mind. As much as Hawke hated the thought of praying to a god supposedily ever present. His mother was a devote Andrastian. Hawke could never understand such blind faith in a person who was not even there. Though Hawke didn't really believe in any deity of any kind not even the so called Tevinter gods. Nor the elvhen gods. Hawke just wasn't religious. He had no care for such ridiculiousness.

Hawke let out a breath before dropping heavily to the ground under the sewer walkway. Hawke walked quickly through the people crawling around like rats. He made his way over to his appreciated poison seller Tomwise. Buying the usual deadly concotions. He walked away from the elf. Hawke was contemplating on whether or not to go to the Hanged Man. He didn't wish to run into the whore pirate nor the dwarf. He also did not wish to return home as of yet. Not while Mother was greiving once again over Carver. One of the main reason Hawke went to waste time at the bastard elf's mansion. Though in truth. Hawke would never openly admit that he wished for some form of physical touch to happen between them. Fenris never invade his personal space which was good. But some part of Hawke yearned for it. Even if his initial response is outrage for such a trivial thing. Never before has he had such a nearly overwhelming desire to put his hands on a person and let them live. Normally when he dominates his control over a person. He claws and tears at their body till they are torn open and their insides are ripped out. Ravishing in the feel of blood flowing into his hands and mouth. Hawke lets out a groan as he smiled licking his teeth. He began to laugh as his mind began to flood with violent images. He walked his way further in as he walked to the abandoned mine. He was so absorbed by his thoughts that he walked upon a thug threatening some child and her mother. Hawke tilted his head to the side as he made his way towards the trio. The woman looked past the thug towards Hawke. She looked between both him and the man in front of her. She began to cry. Hawke never liked the sound of someone crying. He hated it and wished the sound being produced would stop. He saw the man standing in front of the woman pull a dagger and lunge. The woman and child screamed. The woman opened her eyes when she didn't feel the biting sting of metal into her flesh. She slowly looked up and gasped as she saw her assailent being lifted up off the ground. "Go home. Your safe... For now..." Hawke said slowly. The woman nodded and ran pulling her child along with her.

Hawke watched as the two were out of sight. He began to smile. What incredible luck he had. He dropped the thug. The man whirled around and prepared for a fight. Hawke began laughing. "Did I ruin your chance to make some easy coin? Hah. How pathetic. You target women and children. You should target people like me. I'll give you more of a fight." Hawke said with a growl as he walked towards the would be theif. The other man lunged at him and slammed his dagger into Hawke chest. Hawke hummed slightly as he tilted his head to the side simply to get a better view of the look of shock on the other man's face. Hawke opened his hands, spreading his fingers wide as he slowly lifted his arms. The thug pulled the dagger back before stabbing Hawke again. "I welcome the pain. It is rather enjoyable. But... It is my turn now." Like lightning. Hawke's hands snatched the other man's wrists. Hawke pulled the man close before slamming his head against the thug's. Knocking the man for a loop before swinging towards the left and hurling the man over the railing near the stairs. The man landed hard landing on his arm in an awkward heap. Hawke walked his way down the stair to the man. His chosen victim of the night tried to crawl away. "It is futile to get away. Just accept your fate. Before you die. I want you to scream for me. It helps with my appetite." Hawke said showing his teeth. The other man began to panic as Hawke lifted his foot. Hawke stood over the man for a brief moment before bringing his spiked metal boot down onto the man's chest. The result was the cracking of his ribs and rivellets of blood to stream from the wound. A choked scream came from the man. Each breath more painful than the last. The pressure on his chest increased as Hawke began to stand fully on him. Blood began to flow from his mouth as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Hawke dropped down to look closer at his work. Hawke gave a smile. The way the ribs pierced the out side of the body like a fucked up pin cushion. Hawke reached down and picked at the crushed chest cavity. Thinking on it as the bloodlust faded from his mind. Today seemed alright. But he wasn't really satisfied as strange image came into his head. As he looked down at the body before him. He couldn't help but feel aroused. The blood got him excited and the first thing he thinks about is Fenris. Hawke froze and for the first time a small trace of fear was visible in his eye. Hawke closed his eye tight before opening it once again. He asumed his dark natured sexual jokes towards the elf was just for fun. Some how Hawke really did wish to be with another living being. Not in some sick twisted fantasy, but a true relationship. Dare his inner feeling wish it to be a true thing? With feelings of love and adorement? The simple thought began to pound at his brain. His eye widened and his body reacted violently to a long lost memory he, himself, was not even aware excisted. He clawed at his head while he let out a pained roar. He held his breath till he nearly fainted. This was wrong. To love another being was inexcusable. It simple was not him. He would not allow such a thing to even happen. If he wanted anything. He would rather a one night stand than to deal with being tied to another person. He let out a growl as he became angry with what had went through his mind. There would never be a reason for him to be in such a relationship that involved devotion and love. No amount of love could ever heal him. No amount of caring could fix him. Hawke then made a decision. If he were to ever have such feelings for that elf again. He would end that elf's life after he was done with him.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 Take What He Wants

With a friend like Hawke. Who needs an enemy...

* * *

Fenris awoke from his sleep early in the morning. He gave a sigh. He had become so use to Hawke showing up in the early morning. It was strange. For three days in a row Hawke hasn't came by to waste time. Fenris was slightly puzzled by the change. Though given Hawke's nature... It seems reasonable. Yet Fenris still wondered why the larger man didn't show up. The more Fenris thought about it. The more it bothered him. Fenris wondered if it was something he said or did. He gave another sigh. Fenris layed back down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He tried his hardest to go back to sleep. Only for his mind to wander. Some of the things his mind conjured up made his face turn a light shade of pink. Nothing obseen. Just wanting to be near the larger man. The want to be in the same room, the same space, the want to be close to him. Though Fenris wouldn't call it want. More like he desired to be near the other man. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. He slowly opened eyes and let out a slow breath. What was wrong with him anyway? He never wanted any form of contact with another person. Fenris gave off a low growl and simply pushed the thoughts aside. He marked it down as nothing more but mad respect for the giant of a man. He closed his eyes once again. He turned this way and that as he tried his hardest to go back to sleep. After the second hour of this futile attempt at sleep. Fenris gave up and rose form his bed. He went through the process of fixing his armor, how it should be on his body. After reassessing himself and adjusting his armor. Did he finally take notice of the large horrendous bloodspilling battle axe in the corner of the room. Fenris paused his routine ritual and simply stared at the massive weapon. He glanced at his greatsword and then back at the axe. He grabbed the sword and walked over to the bloodworn weapon of death. He set his sword beside it and slightly swallowed at how small his weapon looked compared to the axe. The axe was worn and stained, with grooves carved along certain points. As worn as it was it's edge was still sharp as if it was just made. It was crude in design and appeared to have peices of bone skattered along it's metal blade. Now Fenris knew some blacksmiths add nonmetal shards and peices to temper and strengthen the metal. Giving it a longer durability. Making it less likely to break. Fenris wondered how much this weapon weighed. It was a overly large as its owner. Fenris's eyes followed the cruel weapon's blade up to the shaft. It was a black tarnished metal with divets and scratches along the entire length. It lead up to the sharp lance-like point of the pommel. There was a red bandana tied to the base of the pommel. War torn just like the rest of it. Fenris let out a low whistle. Clearly impressed by the way it was designed. Fenris looked to the window then to see it was still relatively dark out. Considering he awoke at three in the morning. Fenris turned to the axe. He figured he could bring it to the Hanged Man. He reached out and hoisted the large exicutioner's blade onto his shoulder with a huff. This weapon was much heavier than it appeared. Fenris was perplexed at how Hawke could swing this with one hand. It weighed more than his own sword. Then again. Fenris had never held an battle axe before. He had a bit of difficulty strapping it to his back and trying to remain upright. It pulled greatly at his back and caused a bit of discomfort. It would only get worse if he tried to carry his own weapon on his back as well. So he strapped his great sword to his side and simply held it to where it did not touch the ground. Fenris gave off a pained yawn. Mainly due to him not being able to fully arch his back. Within a few moments he started down the stairs and out the door heading off to Lowtown.

It was still relatively dark as he made his way down the street. Fenris looked around as he went through the chantry. There were very few people out this early. He was thankful of that. He never truely liked walking through the street during the day with the nobles leering at him. Then again they tend to gawk at Hawke. Mainly because of how huge the guy is. Fenris was actually glad he was an elf. People tend to ignore elves. Though due to his appearance people tend to stare at him. He gave a sigh ad hurried as best he could. His body was starting to get use to the axe on his back. He continued on his way as he walked through the market area. A guard nodding towards him. One of Aveline's closer know guards. Fenris nodded to him and continued on his way. After desending the stairs from Hightown. Fenris enters into the closed market road where the Bazaare is held everyday. A few people are already out and setting up their stalls. Fenris walked past them and up to the tavern. He could go to Hawke's house a few blocks away. But he did not like to entertain the idea of waking Hawke's family. Least the repercussions result in him being assaulted by the larger man. Fenris gave a sigh as he walked into the bar. Only early morning partiers from the night before where up and about. Corff seemed ready to fall asleep at anytime. Fenris walked up to the bar and signaled to Corff. "Well hello. What can I do for you?" The barman asked. "Do you know if Hawke is here?" Fenris asked. Corff leaned onto the bar and thought for a moment. "Yeah. He was here earlier. Seemed more upset and pissed off than usual. Not sure why. No one here wants to even talk to the man. You can check his room here if you want." The barman said pointing to the stairs. Fenris gave him a nod and headed for the stairs. Looking directly ahead as he reached the top landing. Varric must still be asleep for there was no light coming from the small window in the door. Fenris turned and walked down the hall. He knew Isabela had a room here as well. It was right across from Martin's room. Hawke's however was before the turn leading to the pirate's. He walked over to the door and took a deep breath. He knocked on the door only for it to open slightly on its own. Strange that it would be open unless Hawke was in there. Fenris pushed open the door further and walked in slowly.

There was a low light being given off from a single candle on the table near the apperatus. Fenris stopped as he let off a chilled breath. Strange. The tempeture in this room fell sharply below normal standards for an early Kirkwall morning. Any lower and Fenris swore he would see his own breath. Fenris looked into the darker half of the room. He could see nothing but a thick blanket of blackness. He strained his ears to hear any movement in the room. He could only hear the low chattering of patrons from the first floor. Fenris continued to look into the darkness hoping his eyes would adjust soon. He walked further in the room towards the table. As he walked he continued to look back and forth between the table and the darkside of the room. He stopped infront of the table and reached for the axe upon his back. As he released it from the strap and pulled it away. He let off a low groan as the weight of the weapon was finally removed. He set it down heavily onto the floor. Leaning it against the table before withdrawing his hand from the handle. His fingers making the torn bandana run through his fingers. He soon looked around once again. The sudden feeling like he was being watched. He knew he felt the strange feeling but now it is stronger than before. As he turned from the table to make his way back towards the open door. He took a deep breath as he saw the door slam shut and with it. The candle went out. Fenris immediately readied himself for a fight. He quickly reached for his greatsword. Before he could grab hold of it however. It was suddenly stripped from him as he was harshly pushed to the floor. At that moment his markings lit up the area around him. Illuminating it in a low blue glow. Fenris scrambled to get up but was pinned to the ground by a heavy hand upon his back. The force of it alone nearly knocked the wind out of him as he was slammed into the floorboards. He let off a low hiss of pain. In the next moment he felt someone settle their weight upon his lower back. Completely pinning him to the floor. He tried to look behind him to see who his assailant was but a clawed hand grabbed a fist full of his hair and forced his head down. Reaching back to latch onto the hand holding his head. Did Fenris notice that the hand was ungauntleted. Though somehow it felt familar. Without any real action on his part, his body suddenly relaxed slightly. He stopped struggling underneath the behemoth that was straddling him. Fenris just couldn't help letting off a low growl of warning. Whether it would help or not. He didn't even know. He just knew Hawke responded mostly with growls. Hopefully this would warn the man not to try anything.

Hawke tilted his head to the side as he looked down at the smaller man. The growl the elf let off was rather pathetic to him. Hawke pulled back on the elf's platium hair. This was truely the first time Hawke even registered the the elf's hair color. Hawke watched as the line of lyrium pulsed across the parts of the elf's exposed body. Hawke gave a low hum before reaching behind him and lighting the candle once more. He threw the candle into a fireplace a little ways off. As the fire began to come to life. He watched as the elf's body cease to shine the low blue color of lyrium. Hawke continued to pull at the elf's hair. Resulting in the elf giving off a growled hiss. Hawke slowly backed himself up far enough to pull Fenris up. Though he still had the elf's legs pinned. Hawke pressed himself up against the elf's back. Grabbing onto the elf's shoulder with his free hand. "H-Hawke... W-what are you doing?" Fenris forced himself to say. "Doing what I wanted days ago, Fenris." Hawke said with a sick grin. He released the elf's hair and promptly silenced the elf before he could respond. Hawke firmly covered Fenris's mouth with his bare hand. Fenris fought to pull his hand off. Hawke gave off a growl as he reached around and latched onto the smaller man. Pinning one of the elf's arms. He pulled at the elf's head making him expose his neck. Fenris's marking lit up once again as he struggled against the larger man. Hawke's smile widened as he opened his mouth baring his teeth. "Do not fret, Fenris. This will hurt only for a moment." He said before bitting down onto Fenris's neck.

Fenris's eyes widened as he felt Hawke's sharp teeth peirce through his flesh. The sudden burst of agonizing pain shot through him. He sunk his sharp gauntlet into Hawke's arm drawing blood as he tried to force the larger man to let go. He let out a muffled scream into the larger man's hand. It hurt to a point where he wanted to cry out. He pulled at Hawke's arm more trying to get him to let go. Slowly however the pain began to fade. Along with the pain, his scream began to die also. Fenris eventually stopped struggling. His body shook from the strange feeling of a sick twisted pleasure derived from the low throbbing pain. As well as the sensation of Hawke's teeth and tongue gnawing into his throat. Fenris closed his eyes tight then and silently wished for this disturbing situation to end. After what seemed like forever to Fenris. He felt Hawke loosen his grip on him finally.

Hawke slowly released his grip on the elf as he opened his mouth. As he pulled away rivlets of blood made their way down the elf's neck. Hawke licked at them before licking at the fresh wound. He let off a low groan as he growled then. He focused his power and reversed it. Causing the wound he created on the elf to close up slowly. Hawke gave off another low growl before he settled Fenris down before him. Hawke in turn fully sat down behind the elf. The elf's blood seeped its way into Hawke's beard. Hawke gave a low chuckle then as he relished in the taste of the elf's blood. It tasted of spice and even wine. Not entirely suprising to Hawke. The sharp tang of the lyrium reminded Hawke of metal. He glanced down at the elf before him. He seemed enraptured by the idea of one day claiming Fenris as his own. To do whatever he so pleased with that elf's body. Though at the same time... He wished for nothing more than to tear that bastard elf asunder. To bath in his blood and devour his flesh. The sudden urge to finish off the elf was near overwhelming. He reached for Fenris once more. But this time with less care as he slammed Fenris's face into the floor. Whatever trance Fenris was in, broke. But instead of fighting as he did before. He spoke up. "D-do whatever you want... I... Am yours... For the moment... Because I know what you are... I... Can only imagen the hell you go through to control yourself... I do not fear death... Yet even I do not wish to die..." He said slowly still being affected by the loss of blood. Hawke stared at him then. Hawke tightened his grip on the elf's neck briefly, before releasing it. Hawke wondered why he suddenly didn't want to kill this branded bastard. It was all very confusing to him. His intent was to rip the flesh from this damned elf's body. Yet. Here he was ensuring the elf was let go. Using his power he healed whatever other wounds were on Fenris. What Hawke didn't know was that the words that elf spoke seemed to have struck something in him. He gave off a savage snarl this time as he stood up to stand over the smaller man. He silently watched as Fenris sat up. "Do not assume you are not still on the menu, Elf." Hawke said curtly before walking away from him. Grabbing his axe at the same time.

Fenris reached up and pressed a hand to the area that Hawke tore into. He shivered knowing what had just happened to him. He was suprised when Hawke didn't try to rip out his organs. He assumed what he said actually had a part in the resulting outcome. Fenris watched as Hawke walked away from him. He hated to admit such submission to another person. But he felt like it would somehow perserve his life. Which it did. Whether or not he ment those words was another thing even he was unsure of. Part of him felt for Hawke at that point. He knew what it was like to act on blind instinct. To be demanded by a power stronger than oneself. Though Hawke's was the embodiment of his own twisted mind full of Maker knows what kind of demons. That seems much harder to ignore when the voice is yelling constently in the back of your mind. It was hard for Fenris to fully understand who Hawke truely was because of how often his mind changes. Sometimes no one even notices when Hawke's mind gets lost in the thoughts of killing. The constant need to kill something like some primal creature of a feral nature. Even Fenris could not say he knew what it felt like. He could only imagen it. He then turned to look at the fireplace.  
Fenris let out a sigh as he shivered once again. He felt cold. He slowly looked down and saw blood staining his guantlet. He remembered clawing at Hawke's arm. He had no idea he drew blood. It did not matter. Hawke did not even seem to notice. Then again. Fenris had never physically harmed the other man before. The man always wore his guantlets. This time he didn't. It was truelly strange that he would not have them on. Fenris shuddered to think of the matter. He shivered again as he let out a low breath. Suddenly a blanket was thrown onto him. He froze for a moment before pulling the the thick blanket back off his head. He looked over at Hawke almost questioning. Hawke avoided eye contact. He was trying to play off the fact he cared for the elf. Despite his twisted interest. Fenris pulled the cover tighter around him. He let off a yawn against his own will. He was not sure if falling asleep in the presence of a man who just assaulted him was wise. Reluctently he started to fall asleep. It was still early in the morning after all. Also he was lacking a bit of blood. He slowly fell asleep with his head resting against his chest.

Hawke stood a good distance away from the elf putting his guantlets on. He continued to watch as the elf fell asleep fully. Hawke walked past him but stopped. He turned and eyed the elf before letting out a low groan. He set his axe down and walked over to the elf. Who beyond being rendered harmless, still managed to wake up and let off a growl at him. Hawke smircked down at the smaller man. Fenris glared up at the larger man. "How amusing. Not many people can stay awake after I do that. Then again I mainly bleed them dry." Hawke said before kneeling infront of Fenris. "You may rest here while I find... Something... To eat." He finished. "Something... or someone?" Fenris countered sharply as he pushed back from Hawke. Hawke gave another smile. "You are rather smart for an elf. Reason why I am conflicted on whether I should allow you to follow me. Though. I need someone to allow me to feed off of them..." Hawke said as his voice lowered. "After all. I will be in the Deep Roads soon. I have already given the coin to the Dwarf's brother. I am allowed to bring two of my followers. I refuse to bring my Sister. So I have chosen you and the mage..." Fenris remained quiet as Hawke continued. "My confliction with you is simply. When I get the money to support my family. I am going to drop all ties with you. And the others. I will no longer have to put up with y'alls insufferable presence. Though I feel like somehow. I am not going to have my way. So as long as you lot mind your boundaries. There will be no harm." Hawke finished. Fenris tryed to stay awake as he spoke up. "You seem like the kind of person who would do such. Though my question... Is why you forced youself onto my person. I do know what you are. I can hardly understand what goes through your mind." Hawke tilted his head to the side. "For one. Fenris. I wanted to see what you tasted like. It was what I imagened. I wish to continue feeding off you. It might curb my appetite and prevent me from assaulting innocents." Hawke stood up. "... I... suppose... I will allow it... But not infront of others. Agreed?" Fenris stressed. Hawke smiled dangerously. "Agreed, Fenris." Fenris let out a low sigh as he tried to stand up. Hawke reached down and grabbed the back of Fenris's armor and hoisted him up to his feet. "You may rest here. As I said before... Aslo your sword is under the table." Hawke said as he walked towards the door and left out.

Fenris remained quiet before turning to the large bed in the darken corner. Fenris silently wondered what he just agreed to. What he willingly agreed to. He reached up and held his hand over his neck. He slowly walked over to the bed. Standing there, he simply looked at the bed. He was unsure if it was red due to blood. Or if that was the normal color. Fenris sat down on it. The bed felt incredably soft and didn't seemed slept in. Fenris was really tired considering what all has happened. He laid down and soon fell asleep.  
Hawke watched from the door which was left slightly open. He soon turned from the door and closed it fully. That elf was his now that he was marked. Anyone who tries to take the elf, would die. Hawke still would not admit to himself that he felt for the branded bastard. Though it mattered not to Hawke as long as he got to feed on the elf's blood. His high making him less aggitated. He walked down the hall and down the stairs to get a drink.

* * *

A/N I plan on starting the deep road campaign in the next chapters.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 Spending The Night

Hawke wandered into the main room of the tavern and looked around. It was nearing nightfall. He let off a low growl as he walked through the crowd. They quickly moved out of his way. Some horrified by the blood covering his body. Varric walked unseen behind Hawke. Busily cleaning off his beloved Bianca. He chuckled as he went unnoticed by everyone, who mainly focused on the psycho killer walking ahead of him. Varric just followed the giant man like a tiny shadow. Hawke sat down heavily at the bar and barked at Corff to get his ass over to him in an instant. Corff hurried from the bad poet and stopped in front of Hawke. "Yeah? What ya need, Hawke?" He ask quickly. Hawke stared at him for a long time before speaking up. "You do serve food at this horrid place, correct?" He said lowly. Corff nodded before sliding a menu to Hawke. The look he got was chilling as Hawke bared his unnatural teeth at the barman. "You better vocalize that fucking menu before you are on it." He growled. Corff stuttered a bit before he took the menu and began to say it aloud.  
Varric looked a bit bothered but soon shrugged it off. Varric was not exactly thrilled about Hawke being himself. But aslong as he wasn't on that massive warrior's menu to dine then he would be just fine. Varric hummed as he listened to the menu. He usualy got his own food brought to his suite. He never ate down here amoung the other patrons. Varric looked over at Hawke who seemed to be growling at what was on the menu. Hawke stood up and walked away from the bar as he pulled out a bottle. He turned and eyed the dwarf behind him. Varric felt Hawke's chilling gaze fall down upon his head. Varric inwardly sighed heavily at the fact he had to back up to look up at the large human. "Need something, Hawke?" Varric asked. "The Expedition, Dwarf. When do we leave." He stated to the dwarf. Varric chuckled a bit. "Well my killer friend. We leave in the morning. Not early morning mind you. Maybe close to midday. Give or take." Varric explained. Hawke gave an answer in the form of a grunt. Varric simply responded with a hmph. Hawke was one of the more difficult people to befriend. Though the stories he could make up about the man was a story gold mine! Hawke's sheer strength in battle and his will of steel was impressive. His harsh nature and bloodlust was both inspiring and horrifying at the same time. The stories he could come up with were mostly true. Hawke was like an oversized bull. The slightest provokation would send him raging. Varric silently wondered if Hawke was neurotic. After all Hawke was methodical, meticulous, and hyper intelligent. Yet, he was also deranged, militant, and odious at the same time. Varric truely wondered how messed up Hawke is mentally. Varric shuddered at the thought of what exactly goes through Hawke's mind. Hawke was also quite vengeful and dark. Making Varric glad that he wasn't on Hawke's 'To Kill' list.  
Varric stopped infront of his suite door. He could feel Hawke standing over him forbodingly like some demon waiting for him to mess up. Hawke opened the door and walked in. Feeling the floor vibrate with each step Hawke took. Varric slightly wondered if Hawke would one day fall through the floor. After all. The first few weeks of Hawke coming into his suite and taking a seat. Hawke broke every chair there for him. Until Varric got the stone one that is.

Varric looked over at Hawke and sighed to himself. It has been nearly three months now. Varric had tried every charm he knew to try and win over that gaint. His jokes always fell flat. His witty words never amazed Hawke. His chest hair was dwarfed by Hawke's. Pun not intended. No matter how hard he tried to start a conversation with the larger man. Hawke would not entertain any form of friendly banter. Hawke's words were always harsh and direct. And sometimes Hawke would speak so fast that his words literally went over Varric's head. He has seen Hawke murmuring to himself. As if he was talking to another person that wasn't even there. Varric knew very little about Hawke. Other than the stories his former employers spun about him. One such story was how vicious Hawke was towards the target. Hawke would hack and slash at the target ultimately tearing them apart. Blood swirling around him like a malicious maelstorm that cut and gouged chunks of flesh from his target's body. Leaving only corpses that were so unrecognizable, that they looked like masses of twisted flesh and bone in the midst of a pool of blood and various bodily fluids. Varric nearly gagged recalling the story in it's full detail. Now he seen how Hawke fights. He seen Hawke drain the blood of his enemy but never was engulfed in a bloodnado. All the stories ended the same however. They all stated that Hawke was an inhumane messenger of death and destruction. The Vengeful One. They all called him. He was also called the Emissary of Death. He was called so many things by others. People knew who Hawke was and they sure as hell didn't want to cross him. Though Hawke still seemed enigmatic to Varric and some of his followers. Varric sighed as he looked up at Hakwe once again. The man was getting up from the stone chair. Varric looked over to the window. It had got darker. Did a two hours already pass? The silence between them seemed to have only lasted a few minutes. Yet low and behold two hours did pass in fact. Varric shook his head and watched as Hawke left out. "I will inform my family of the departure time." Hawke stated as he walked out. Varric waved at the larger man before heading to his bed. "Close the door while you're at it Hawke. I don't want a drunk wandering in here like last time." Varric called out. Hawke in responce slammed the door shut.

Fenris awoke from his sleep with a groan. Something was off about the bed he was currently laying upon. It was far too soft to be his own bed. Another thing was how dark it was in the room. He could barely see anything other than the glow of the fireplace across the room. It held a heavy incense that smelt like iron mixed with death. Fenris sat up and looked around once his eyes adjusted to the dim light. The room was an over all red hue. With shelves stocked with bottles upon bottles. Not much of anything else. What Fenris could recognize was the apparatus near the table. That's the distillery machine that was part of Hawke's Hanged Man suite. Then it came back to him. He came by earlier to drop off Hawke's battle axe. Fenris reached up and closed his hand onto his neck. He remembered that Hawke nearly tore out his throat as Hawke had drained him of blood. He shuddered at the memory. He became aware of the door opening to the room. He sat up on the bed more as he saw Hawke walk in with his usual bottle of 'poison' he swilled on a daily basis. "Finally awake, huh, Elf? You slept nearly the entire day away. I had hoped you'd died at one point. But to my disappointment you still breathed." Hawke growled as he walked in and closed the door. Fenris looked him over to notice several blood stains on him. The man's gauntlets were coated and soaked in the red substance. There were pieces of flesh hanging from the man's twisted eyepatch. The man's mouth was bloodied but there was no wound on him. Fenris swallowed slightly as he came to a conclusion. "What idiots assualted you this time?" He questioned. Hawke walked over to the table and set the bottle down without much care. "Some fools pretending to be guardsmen... Of course. Aveline, Dwarf, and I dealt with them. The way their body twisted with such a delicious sound. Heh... Too bad Aveline didn't like my sense of enjoyment. Fucking ginger haired bitch ruining my fun with her laws... Then again that bitch owes me..." Hawke growled more as he leaned upon the table. "Aveline is doing her job, Hawke..." Fenris said in some defense for Aveline. Hawke glanced at the elf for a brief moment before wiping his face of the blood. "True... Yet my high was ruined by her shit..." Hawke growled before slamming his head with full force into the table making a large crack in it's stone surface. Getting Fenris to visibly flinch. Fenris watched as Hawke picked his head up with a low growl. Hawke's eye slowly slid it's way to focus on the elf. Only then did Fenris remember he was currently sitting on the larger man's bed. Hawke straightened up leaving the table and made his way towards Fenris. Fenris then tried to get up from the bed quickly but sadly it resulted in him falling off onto the floor. His mind spun harshly as he tried to right himself. Hawke stopped infront of him and reached down. Before he could hoist the elf onto his feet. Fenris smacked his hand away with a low growl. "Don't touch me... I can get up on my own, Hawke. I don't need you to coddle me." Fenris asserted. Hawke growled lowly but he retracted his hand. "I do not coddle, Elf..." Hawke said with disgusted sneer. "Either way... You're still being effected by what I did this morning. I may have taken more than what I required." Hawke said with a light short laugh. "After all... It took a lot of effort to not bleed you dry." Hawke said with a twisted smile. Fenris looked up at him with alarm. "So... You did intend to kill me, then?" Fenris questioned. Hawke gave curt nod before shoving Fenris aside with his metal boot. The contact made the elf's markings come to life as he gave a hiss. Fenris latched onto Hawke's leg then. Hawke lifted the elf enough to move him and knocked the elf onto his backside with ease. Fenris sharply glared up at Hawke. Hawke paid the elf no mind as he fixed the bed. "You need to learn house keeping, Elf. Now stay here as I head home and inform Mother of the departure time." Hawke droned as he stood upright again and headed to the door. "I will return shortly. Try to get your ass off the floor while I'm gone." Hawke enjoined. "I shall endeavor to do as you command, Master..." Fenris growled with a sick jeer. Having had understood the tone Hawke used. Hawke stopped by the door and turned to him as he reached for the pieces of severed flesh from his eyepatch. "Do not try to exasperate me, Fenris." Hawke droned once again as he flicked the gross chunk of meat right at Fenris before exiting.  
The piece hits Fenris in the face. Causing him to gag slightly as he furiously pawed at the fleshy mass in an attempt to get it completely off. He growled darkly and gave a disgusted noise as he wiped his face. With a huff Fenris once again tried to stand. As he slowly got up he noticed his head spin slightly once again. He gave a low groan as he leaned against the wall. He looked at the door and wondered if he should leave. Though he had second thoughts on the idea considering he was weak at the moment. The whole reason for his weakness was due to Hawke. Fenris did know this. As soon as the Deep Roads Expedition was over it would be a good idea for him to move on. Yet something about the idea bothered Fenris. He sighed as he walked towards the table to sit down. He slumped forward onto the table before eyeing the bottle Hawke left. He stared intently at the red bottle. He grimaced at the recollection of the taste. His body tensed at the memory of how it felt to drink the vile liquid. To a point he nearly retched at the thought. He shoved the bottle aside and laid his head upon the table taking in slow breaths. Fenris closed his eyes for a few moments before opeing them again as he gave a sigh. His body still felt drained. He once again eyed the bottle and inched his hand towards it. His gauntleted finger gently brushing against it. He reached a bit further and grabbed it. Bringing it back to set it in front of him. He held fast to the bottle as he slowly sat up and leaned his head to the side. He shuddered a bit as his mind fought back and forth on whether he should drink some or not. Recalling how he had made a mental note to never drink this stuff again as long as he lived. He was parched and hungry as well. He gave a low growl as he set the bottle down on the table. He stood up using the table to balance himself. His exhaustion was probably due to his hunger and thirst. He checked one of the pouches on his belt to see if he had any coin. He groaned as he found none and went through the other pouches. The search resulted in a few silvers and coppers. Well it was enough for a few pints but not enough for food. He turned from the table and made his way towards the door before he stopped to breathe. For some strange reason it felt like something was crawling under his skin. Right where he was bitten by Hawke that morning. He reached to hold the area again. Finally taking a notice to the fact there was no wound on him. He furrowed his brows together in confusion. There was nothing there. No wound, no scar, no nothing. He looked around the room in search of a mirror. There were no mirrors on the walls. He then remembered the inside of his chest plate was reflective. He unbuckled it from his jerkin and held it to where it would reflect his image. He turned his head to expose his neck. He ran his hand along the area and was amazed there was nothing there but the markings. Though it still confused him how there was nothing there. He continued to stare at his reflection before his attention was focused on the door as it opened. Hawke walked back inside, blood now removed from his person.

Hawke looked over to the elf. "Do you plan on stripping for me?" Hawke jested. The elf blushed slightly and scowled at him. Or at least tried to scowl. "N-no." He said as he reattached the chestplate. Hawke walked into the room further carrying a basket with him. He walked past the elf and set the basket onto the table. Fenris moved a bit to try to look around Hawke. Curious about the basket. Considering he was currently hungry and had nothing to eat back at his mansion. Nor did he have enough to coin to buy food. He gave a low sigh as he looked to the floor. He was sure that whatever it was. He would not even get any. After all Hwke does not offer food to anyone. He remembered what happened a few days back. He cringed slightly. He pushed the thought from his mind even if it wasn't him who was harmed. He turned from Hawke and made his way to the door. He stopped when he got a chilling feeling run down his spine. Hawke was staring at him. With a heavy sigh Fenris glanced back behind him. Hawke was right there. "Is there something you want, Hawke..." He asked with a sigh as he looked up at the larger man. Hawke leaned forward. "If it was up to me. I would let you starve. But Mother insists on feeding you." Hawke growled as he stepped to the side. Fenris was a bit wary on the idea. "How does your mother know I am here?" He asked. Hawke gave a low groan of a sigh. "She asked me if I was going to be alone tonight. I told her you were here. She was estatic and made this with the food I bought this morning. Now why don't you be a good little elf and eat. I'de hate to tell her you refused the food." With that said Hawke turned to walk away. The glare he got from Fenris was rather annoyed. "Being called Elf is starting to annoy me, Hawke... I don't call you Human after all." Fenris complained. "Just because I know your name, Elf. Does not mean I will call you that every single time." Hawke countered.  
As he sat down heavily he continued to watch Fenris. He silenty watched as Fenris slowly went back to the table. The elf seemed to cast him a glance before reaching the basket. Hawke sat back more in his chair. He let out low growl as he took his eyepatch off. The warm air hitting the sensitive flesh underneath. He quickly glanced up at the elf who was hesitantly inspecting the food. He looked back down the inside of his metal eyepatch and sighed lowly. There was more blood on the inside of it along with pieces of his skin. The scar upon his face was very old yet it bled on a daily basis. Hawke merely shrugged as he licked at the blood. He figured it was near time to actually clean his eyepatch in the fire. The blood of so many could be infecting his old wound. He undid the red dyed leather from the crown like headgear before tossing it into the fireplace a short distance away. At the sound of the metal hitting the metal backing of the fireplace. Fenris turned to look at him. Hawke ignored the elf for the most part but turned to face away from the elf. Reaching for the small bedside table and retreiving gauze and bandages. He felt the elf was watching him. Hawke reached up under his thick matte black hair. Running his metal clawed fingers across the soft opening where his right eye should be. He felt nothing as he slowly sunk the metal tip of the gauntlet further into the empty socket. The action caused some blood to come forth. Hawke removed his hand and simply stared at the blood. He silently stared at it before placing the guaze over the right side and wound the bandages tight underneath his thick hair. He soon sat down onto his bed.  
Fenris looked at Hawke for a bit longer before he set what he had left of the food down. "Question. If I may?" Fenris asked walking slowly over to Hawke. Hawke rolled his eye as he let off a growl. "What is it, Elf?" Hawke growled. Fenris looked to the side before focusing on Hawke. "Why do you hide the right side of your face? I understand you have no right eye but surely you-" Fenris was unable to finish as Hawke cut him off. "I have my reasons. Do not ask this question again." Hawke growled. Fenris looked down briefly. "Alright... I am going to head back to the mansion. Thank you for the food." Fenris said shortly. "It was my mother's idea. Not mine. Also you aren't going out there this late. You are going to stay here. ... With me." Hawke stated. Quietly hating himself but mainly hating the fact his mother told him to not let the elf walk home alone.  
"Excuse me?"  
"You heard me, Elf."  
"Is this you talking or your mother?"  
"Both."  
"Considering what happened this morning... I am.. uncomfortabe with this."  
"Do I care?"  
"Well... I do actually..." Fernis said looking at the floor.  
"You have nothing to worry about for now. The dumbasses off the street satisfied my hunger. Besides.  
Mother doesn't want me to let you go home in the dark. She said I should care for your well being..." Hawke said.  
"... So you do what your mother tells you?"  
"Without question."  
"I see..." Fenris said slowly looking off to the wall. He assumed that if he refused then Hawke would just follow him up to Hightown. "And if I refuse?" he asked anyway looking back at Hawke.  
"You can leave. Though I will follow you. I told Mother you would spend the night with me. I do not wish to lie to her. If you do not stay here." Hawke stood up then and walked over to stand infront of Fenris. "I will escort you to your home." Hawke finished.  
"... I suppose I can stay here for tonight. I truely do not wish to walk through the streets this late. After all... I am still not entirely feling myself..." Fenris said rubing his neck while glancing up at Hawke.  
"Good. The bed is big enough for us to share. I rather you didn't sleep on the filthy floor." Hawke said taking the onesided chestplate off. As well as his guantlets.

Fenris gave a weird look at Hawke. The very idea of having to share his bed caused Fenris to turn red. He backed up from Hawke and took a deep breath. The thought of sleeping right beside Hawke was unnerving. He kept saying to himself that there was nothing wrong with two men simply sharing a bed without any physical contact. It was perfectly normal. Right? Right... Fenris wasn't so sure. There was a strange feeling deep in his chest at that moment. Thinking of sharing Hawke's bed... Made Fenris's chest tight. It felt so strange. It was oddly comforting but it scared him. He let out the breath he was holding and shook his head. Opening his eyes he didn't even know he closed. His eyes widened slightly as he stared at Hawke's body. Hawke was standing before him in his pants. The main body of his armored tunic was off. Hawke's body was riddled with scars that stretched across his pale skin. Hawke was simply massive. The man's armor wasn't exaggerating what was beneath. Fenris's breath was caught in his throat as he silently eyed Hawke. He suddenly felt terrified at the idea of laying beside the larger man like that. If Hawke kept his armor on. It would of been alright. Maybe. Hawke looked back at him then. "Do you intend to sleep in your armor?" Hawke asked before giving a slight smirk as he turned to fully face Fenris. "Does my appearance intimidate you?" Hawke questioned with a smile. Fenris inwardly said yes as he forced himself to speak. "N-no. I-it doesn't b-bother me." He said quite flustered. In that moment a huanting memory went through his mind. It showed in his eyes before he shook his head. He breathed slowly as he forced himself to calm down. Hawke wasn't a mage nor was he like Danarius. At least that is what Fenris kept telling himself. Hawke leaned forward and locked his eye with Fenris's. "Enough of that fidgetting, Fenris. Nothing will happen to you. At least for now." Hawke said as he eyed Fenris. Fenris looked up at Hawke then. "At least you tell the truth. And nothing but the truth... One of the things that I respect you for." Fenris said as he took another breath. He willed himself to relax. Hawke was vulgar it was true. But one thing that was respectable of him was he would not lie. Though it did not make Fenris feel any better about sharing a bed with another man. The idea still bothered Fenris greatly. Though as he watched Hawke walk to the bed and lay down. Fenris figured he should try to get over his fear. He was hesitant in taking off his armor. He kept his tunic and leggings on. Not wanting to be near as nude as Hawke was. He laid down but stayed close to the edge. Despite Hawke's size the bed was incredibly accomidating for both of them. Fenris remained silent and still as he heard Hawke's breath become low and steady. Fenris gave a sigh. He felt like his skin was crawling just by being this close to another person. He disliked the thought of being touched. He remembered what happened earlier that day. The way Hawke pressed himself against him. Almost grinding into him. Fenris shuddered as he recalled the sick twisted sensation of enjoying what Hawke was doing to him. Fenris held his head and pushed the bizarre thoughts from his mind as he tried to fall asleep. It took nearly an hour for him to fall asleep. Silently wishing he wasn't dragged into Hawke's dreams again. Afraid of what he would see.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 Descent

It was the early morning in the city of Kirkwall. The sun's rays shined down upon the city bringing with it a harsh sufferable muggy weather. The beginning of the scorching summer. The sun filtered through the nearly blacked out window that lead to a dark Hanged Man suite. Hawke opened his eye as he let out a low sigh of a yawn. He sat up slowly as a sharp pain went through his body. He let off a supressed growl as he arched his back. He shook his head breifly as he pulled the gauze and bandages away from his face. It clung for a short moment. Hawke gave another growl as he pulled it off without much care. He got up off the bed and walked over to the dead fireplace and took the metal eyepatch from the ashes. He set it down on the table to pull his armor on. As he pulled his dark tunic back on was he aware that Fenris was still in the bed. Hawke stared intently at the sleeping male elf. Hawke turned and grabbed his eyepatch and proceeded to polish it. Bringing it back to it's dulled golden tone. He moved his hair aside and afixed the metal patch back where it belongs. Afterwards he pulled his sharp gauntlets back on and walked to stand right before the slumbering elf. Squating down to be even in eye level with the elf. He reached his hand out toward Fenris. Hawke gave a sick smile as his hand hovered just over the elf's neck. Hawke licked the inside of his teeth as he drooled slightly. Hawke opened his mouth slowly as a dark thought went through his head. Hawke leaned forward taking a deep breath. The elf smelled pleasent. Hawke was very close to wrapping his large hand around the elf's neck when said elf in question shifted. Hawke pulled back quickly and gave an inaudioable growl as he stood up. He pushed back the urge to sink his metallic claws into the elf right then. The need to taste Fenris's blood again. To have that sweet taste on his tongue. He shook his head as he walked over to one of the many shelves in the room. Pulling down a bottle and taking a long drink.

Fenris streched with a yawn as he sat up. He rubbed his eyes sleepily. He opened one eye as he gave a yawn. He seemed rather content at the moment. Enough so that he laid back down and streched himself across the bed before a growl got his attention. His eyes opened wide as he sat up quickly and looked directly at Hawke. Remembering where he was. He had slept in a bed that Hawke had slept in. Again! His face started to turn a light shade of red as Hawke stared at him. The larger man's face was void of any emotion. Though his dark eye stayed trained on Fenris. Hawke grabbed the elf's armor from the table without breaking eye contact. Hawke walked forward and handed Fenris the armor. Fenris looked down at it before looking back up at Hawke. He reached out and took his armor from Hawke. "Thank you..." He said lowly as he pulled the armor on. He watched as Hawke took a couple bottles of his drink with him into a pack. Fenris sighed as he got up from the bed. "I guess. I should head home. Thank you for allowing me to stay." Fenris said with an awkward bow. "Today is the day we leave into the Deep Roads. You are to come with me. Mainly because I doubt that mage and dwarf would be able to defend themselves without us." Hawke finished as he turned toward Fenris. "Mother wishes to see us off. She seems dead set on calling you lot my friends." Hawke said with a low growl. The idea seemed to disturb Hawke as it showed on his face for just a breif moment. But Fenris saw it before Hawke could control his expression. Fenris silently wondered if Hawke was truely bothered by the idea of having people to call friends. Even so. Fenris made a bit of a promise to Hawke's mother. He didn't wish to be a liar to the large man's mother. She was so kind and caring. Fenris figured he would follow Hawke until Hawke did not wish for his company any longer. "Alright then, Hawke. I will remain with you till this venture is over." Fenris said giving Hawke direct eye contact then.  
Hawke raised a brow at this. The larger man gave a slight grunt. Sodding elf was purposely trying to be on the same level as he was. How entertaining. That elf had been trying to challenge him since the day they met. It kept things interesting. "Alright then, Fenris... Let's get ready then." Hawke started. Walking to the door as he picked up his battle axe. "Let us retrieve everyone who will see us off then. Shall we?" He finished opening the door and quickly leaving out. Fenris got his greatsword and proceeded to follow.

After a few hours the group all gathered infront of the Merchants Guild. Bethany stood right beside her big brother. Standing near him was Fenris. Varric stood a little ways in front near his brother, Bartrand. Isabela had an arm draped around Merrill and was standing to the back. Anders stood silently near them. Aveline was watching a few feet away. Bartrand was going on and on about deflowering the route they were to take. Varric turned to Hawke with a laugh saying it was quite a interesting picture. When the larger man refused to smile Varric sighed and turned to look back at his brother. Hawke's mother shifted back and forth before walking over to her two babies. Bartrand seemed upset. A glare shot from Hawke promptly shut him up.

"Jake... Please tell me you don't plan on bringing Bethany with you." Leandra pleaded with her son.  
"Mother. I will be fine. I can handle my own-" Bethany started to respond.  
"You. Are to remain here, Bethany." Hawke said with aphorism.  
"But brother!" She started.  
"You heard me. Bethany... Do I have to repeat myself?" Hawke said with a growl as he leaned over his sister feircely. She looked down before answering.  
"No... Big brother." She seemed sad but she did not question her brother further as she stepped back to be beside their mother. Leandra was so relieved that one of them was staying with her. Bartrand was eyeing the three before he spoke up.  
"You can't bring everyone. So you have to choose..." He said slowly. Hawke turned to look at him.  
"The Elf and the Mage. Now let's get moving." Hawke said with a growl.

Anders along with Fenris went to stand behind Varric as Hawke shoved past the two to stand directly behind the two dwarven brothers.

It had been several hours before they reached the cave that lead into the Deep Roads. Hawke didn't seem to have been bothered much by the trek as Varric and Anders was. Fenris remained silent throughout the whole trip. The cave was dark and damp. They proceeded with caution as they descended into the cavern. A few more hours pasted before the Expedition was called to a halt for a night of rest. Hawke gave an irritated growl as he watched the workers and scouts set up tents. Hawke was appalled that they had stopped early. If he knew how to read the Grey Warden maps he woud have ventured down here himself. Yet he couldn't so he had to rely on the pathetic lot that made up the so called Expedition. Hawke gave a low growl as he sat down on a large rock. Varric was sitting beside his brother chatting away. Fenris sat not far off from Hawke. Same could be said for Anders. A few minutes go by and Varric lets them know that they have to share a tent. All four of them. Fenris and Hawke both reacted with a similar attitude to not wishing to share a tent. Hawke not willing to share period. Fenris not wanting to have to lay beside Anders. Causing a small scene to play out.

"You mean to tell me I have to sleep near that mage hating elf? Not only him but Hawke as well? Don't get me wrong. Hawke is rather impressive but he scares the fuck out of me!" Anders shot at Varric.

"Well I rather sleep beside Hawke than by you, Mage. At least Hawke tells me if he is going to stab me in the back! I can not trust you as far as I can throw you." Fenris growled out at Anders.

"Hey, now... Come on guys. Can't we get along? Hawke. A little help?" Varric said looking at the three men.

"I rather stuff my face in molten lava then have to share it with all of you. I can only stand the closeness for so long..." Hawke deadpanned.

At this point Fenris and Anders was close to argueing in each others face. Varric ran a hand down his face with a heavy sigh. Then he thought about something. "Alright. How about this?" He said stepping between Fenris and Anders. "Fenris said he rather be near Hawke. Right? Well. How about we do this? Anders and Hawke sleep on the outer most part. You know. Near the sides of the tent. While Broody and I sleep in the middle. Me by Blondie and Broody by Killer. Okay?" Varric said trying to reason with them. Hawke gave a low hum and before snorting out a "Whatever." Fenris seemed to quiet down a bit. He supposed he could do that. Though the thought of having to be sandwiched between two men disturbed him. As long as no one touched him and he wasn't by the mage. Then he should be fine. Anders also went quiet. He much rather curl up and nuzzle into Varric than end up rolling over into Hawke or Fenris. The two warriors could easily rip him into peices. And quite frankly. He didn't want to be tiny little mage bits.  
The four walked up to the large tent. The tents were limited as to allow more stuff to be hauled that were more important. Like digging equipment and food. Hawke went in first. Taking off his battle axe in order to get in. Having to duck down given the fact the tent was short. Almost bending over nearly doubling in on himself. It proved to be too uncomfortable given the fact he hated having to be even with eye level of the others. Irritating him nearly to no end. He dropped heavily onto the ground in the seated position and backed up. He already hated this arrangement. And loathed every second of it as the others went in. Varric and Fenris didn't really have to duck to get in. They were short enough that it didn't bother them Anders however had to duck down a bit. Not wanting to hit the support beam of the tent. Hawke eyed the three men before him warily. He did not approve of this at all. He hated the fact that he was so close to them. He could hear it. The beating right underneath their skin. Their blood pulsing through their veins. In the dark cavern it was louder. Silently Hawke wondered how long he could last on this venture without killing anyone. It would be extremely difficult for him to satisfy his hunger. If he killed one of the hired hands. They would surely call him out on it. He silently remarked on the fact he thought ahead. He pulled forth a bottle and drank some of it before putting the bottle away. He watched as the other three laid down. Hawke remained sitting up however. He became aware of one of the other men looking at him. Hawke gave a glance over to his left. Fenris was awake ad simply staring at him. The elf seemed a tad bit curious if not for the fact he too hated the idea of being this close to people. Hawke could relate to the elf on that alone. Hawke laid back and settled gingerly. He detested the idea of sleeping on the ground. Yet he had to put up with it and endure. Fenris kept his distance from him as he turned to lay on his side and face Hawke. Hawke glanced at the elf again. The branded bastard knew something was wrong with him. Good thing he didn't open his mouth to ask about it. Hawke didn't want to deal with the damn elf. With a low growl Hawke closed his eye and tried to fall asleep.

Fenris remained awake as he watched Hawke go to sleep. The large man's breathing evened out and became incredibly low. Fenris was always awed by this. It was like Hawke died everynight just to sleep. One could bearily hear the large man's breath. As if it never existed. Fenris heard when Varric and the abomination finally went to sleep. Leaving him the ony one awake. Silently Fenris wanted to move closer to Hawke. But he knew that in doing so. Hawke would harshly reprimand him for such an act. Fenris couldn't help but feel intranced by the larger warrior. Though his mind did begin to wander to what he knew about Hawke. It sent a chill down his spine. Hawke's reaver ability would cause him to suffer down here. Hawke's body required so much physical release to satify him. The voices in the back of the man's head would soon demand blood to sate him. Fenris prayed to the Maker that Hawke brought enough bottles of his 'poison' to stave off such desires. Fenris soon began to recall that in all his dealing with Hawke. Was that Hawke never ate in front of others. Making the elf curious on what the man did eat. Remembering back to a conversation Hawke had with Aveline about cannibalism. Fenris gave a deep frown then. Was Hawke even able to eat normal food? Or did Hawke eat without allowing anyone to observe him. Fenris sighed lowly as his mind continued to wonder. Thoughts and ideas swirled around his mind. All of them concerning Hawke. Before sleep could claim him however. Fenris had quietly wished to see Hawke in his dreams.

Hawke awoke suddenly from his sleep as a shooting pain went through his gut. He forced himself to sit up through it. He held his eye closed for a few agonizing moments before it finally subsided. He let out a low breath before he promptly crawled out of the tent. Wishing to breathe fresh air. His lungs were met with the dank and dusty carvern air. He nearly choked. Having forgotten he was on the Expedition. His mind began to spin slightly as he stood up quickly. A sense of vertigo staggered him. He held fast to a cart nearby to balance him. A sickening memory came back to him. It was vague. The smell of blood in a dark cave. The taste of it on his tongue as he swallowed. The body that laid before him. The memory caused Hawke to nearly cry. He shook his head vehemently trying to rid himself of the horrific image before it could come into crystal clarity. Forcing it aside he let out a growl. Why did venturing into caves bring this memory back to him? He hated it with all his being. It mocked him every single time. Wanting to be remembered. He wanted nothing to do with the ungodly image. He took slow deep breaths to calm his growning anxiety. He pulled his axe from the stone and strapped it to his back as he wandered further into the tunnel. He will not wait for them to rise. He had to move. Had to distract himself. It was the only way for him to avoid a repeat performance. Slinking away into the darkness to seek out the comfort it brought.

Fenris was awoken by Varric's voice cutting through his dreams. Rousing him from slumber. Fenris sat up with a tired yawn and glanced over to Varric. Varric had a slight frown upon his face. "Hey Broody. We need to get moving. I already got Blondie up. You looked like you needed the sleep." The dwarf said gently. Fenris looked to his right and noticed Hawke was not there. He slowly asked where he was. "Where is Hawke? I assume he is up as well?" He asked. Varric's frown deepened before he forced a smile. "Yeah. He's up alright. But he isn't with the group." He said. Fenris got up then and looked at Varric. "What do you mean he isn't with the group?" The elf asked. Varric motioned for him to come out. Fenris quietly followed. Bartrand walked up to the two. "Any idea where our partner went off to?" He asked with suspicion in his voice. Appearently Bartrand thought Hawke went off with the maps. "Hawke is the kind of man who scouts ahead and kills things that are in the way. So. With that nugget of info in mind. He is probably clearing the way." Varric said coolly. Bartrand gave a small noise that seemed a bit off. Either way he left it alone and called for the Expidition to move out. Fenris looked down at Varric questionly. Anders walked up behind the two and gave a sigh. "I couldn't find Hawke around the campsite... Though I did find a bit of blood further ahead..." Anders said warily. He didn't like being down there just as much as Varric. Mainly because of the darkspawn. "I know one thing though. There are darkspawn close by... With any luck we'll find Hawke slaughtering the lot of them." Anders finished with a forced smile. Varric looked the mage over. "Really? Well. Let's hope our leader doesn't get himself killed before we get to him." He said with a huff as he followed his brother. "Hawke is not one to be so easily killed..." Fenris added as he followed. "You damn right on that." Anders said as he to followed them.

Further in almost a day's travel they came upon Hawke. Sitting in the middle of the cavern's tunnel. A bottle in his hand as he downed copious amounts of the vile liquid. He had blood on him. Yet no one in the Expedition saw any signs of where the blood came from. There were bloody pools skattered about with nothing in them. When questioned, Hawke simply answered Deep Stalkers. The crew was not convinved as the fact there was no proof. Either way no one questioned him aloud.

The next few days went by in a bit of a blur. The entire crew began to become scared of Hawke. His behavior was getting worse. Only tempered by the strange bottles he drank from. Though they chose not to question him. In fact. They all turned to him when the Expedition was halted due to a collapse. Hawke had grown aggravated. He was not going to spend time waiting for it to be cleared up. He began to move towards the side passage when Bodahn asked him to find his son, Sandal. Hawke said he would but could not promise that the boy might already be dead. Causing Bodahn to panic.

The four men ventured into the passage way and was immediately beset by darkspawn. Though they did little to deter the four men. The four of them worked some what well together. If Hawke wasn't so focused on being left alone. They worked their way through several darkspawn. A horde of spiders. A darkspawn that had magic along with even more darkspawn.

As they continued to make their way further. They noticed something rather curious. The dwarven boy know as Sandal stood amoung dead darkspawn. Hawke walked over to him as he eyed the carnage around the boy. "Impressive..." Hawke droned before looking at Sandal. Sandal backed up from Hawke as he looked up at him. "Scary..." The dwarf said with a shiver as he huddled a bit away from Hawke. Hawke rolled his eye before asking, "Did you do this?" Sandal stopped shaking and responded with, "Enchantment! Boom!" Hawke seemed unamused by the boy's excitement as the boy toyed with a rune before handing it to Hawke with a smile. Hawke glanced over to the frozen ogre. "And that..." Hawke left the question open. Sandal looked at the iced monstrocity. "Not enchantment." The boy stated before walking off back towards the camp. "Smart boy..." Varric said with a smile. He turned to look and Hawke was already walking off. "Damn. He can't stay long to talk." Varric seemed to whine. "He hasn't said much of anything since we been down here." Anders said walking beside Varric. "He is overly quiet. Though it does not seem to be unlike him." Fenris added on. With a nod the trio followed after Hawke. They wandered through the queit corridors of the tunnels which soon gave way to a thaig like structure. Though it was bizzare and undwarven like. There was a growing quiet. Silence that unnerved three of them. Ahead of them was a door.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 Ogre and a Dragon

The four of them crept cautiously towards the large door. Wary of what may lay ahead. Hawke walked in first. Taking slow steps as he entered the room. The entire place smelled horrendous. He could not decern what was what. He sniffed at the air but could not register the danger that hide in the dim lighting. Fenris walked in right behind him. Along with the others. Hawke stopped as he felt the ground tremble with steps not his own. A cold icy chill ran down his spine at the sudden memory. Charging at him with twisted gnarled horns that jutted every where. The creature's mouth wide exposing its horrid teeth as it ran up to Hawke. Hawke turned to see the creature running up to him on his blindside. For a split second Hawke froze as his eye widened. He forced himself to free his axe but was struck head on with the ogre's sharp horns. Hawke was picked up off the ground and was carryied by the monster. Getting slammed between the cold hard stone wall and the beast's foul head. He felt the horns penatrate through the layered armor he wore. His axe had fallen from the force of the charge. Being abandoned upon the floor several feet from him. He heard a yell from the front of him. The ogre pulled back from him, forgetting he even existed and charged towards the owner of the deep baritoned voice. The elf threw himself at the massive darkspawn. Slicing towards the monster with his greatsword as Anders tried to use his magic to freeze the beast in its place. The ogre simply shrugged off the attacks and slammed its fist upside Anders's head. Knocking him back where his skull collided with the stone wall. Anders's body crumpled to the floor in a heap as blood started to ooze from his head. Varric looked off to where Anders fell and swore as he ran to drop beside the unconscious mage. Varric was shocked. What in the Ancester's name was going on here?! Hawke was suppose to be the one that everything feared! But Hawke... He was frozen. Varric franticly stared at the larger man. Then he saw something he never saw before in the giant man's eye. Though he could not quite place it. Varric heard a yell of pain from the other direction. Just now taking note that Fenris was grabbed by the throat. Shit. Franticly Varric took aim and fired. The bolt did nothing to hinder the ogre's focus nor progress. Fenris struggled to breathe as the ogre tightened its grip around his neck. His markings were pulsing to life as he fought back. He felt the ogre grab hold of his waist and began to pull in a twisting fashion. His scream of pain was choked off by the darkspawn. Across the room. Hawke looked up and his eye trained on the scene before him. A horrifying image went through his mind. The image of seeing the warrior he has grown to desire get ripped in two. The thought excited him and terrified him at the same time. If anything was going to kill that bastard elf. It was going to be him. Hawke let out a roar as he pushed himself off the wall and grab the axe from the ground. Swinging the large weapon into the air as he jumped. He threw all his weight into forcing the large weapon down into the ogre. Right along the shoulder. Slicing its arm clean from its body. The ogre let out a yell as it whirled towards Hawke still holding onto Fenris. Nearly slamming the elf into the stone floor. Hawke rammed his body into the beast before swinging the axe up across its chest. Hawke took that moment to grab the elf's head and bring down the axe along the ogre's wrist. Severing it unevenly from its arm. The ogre staggered back as Hawke swung the axe one final time. Embedding the cruel blade's edge into the ogre's skull. He released the axe and turned to pry the severed hand from the elf's neck. Fenris by that time was nearly losing consciousness. As the hand was removed he sucked in a greedy breath of air before coughing. Hawke immediately dropped the lyrium bond elf to the ground. His concern falling away now that the elf was somewhat safe. Though Hawke twitched a bit as the smell of blood finally flooded through his senses. It had a strange sweetness to it. He followed the smell as his eye fell upon Anders. He left the elf alone as he stalked his way over to the downed mage and the dwarf trying to patch him up. "Come on. Blondie. Wake up... Shit..." Varric murmured to himself more than it was to Anders. He was roughly grabbed by his collar and jerked back a few feet from the mage. Landing on the floor harshly. He sat back up to watch in near horror at how close Hawke was to Anders. He saw the man's mouth twist into a hellish smile as his tongue lolled out and licked about his savage teeth. Hawke reached down and gripped his hand around the mage's throat. Hauling him up off the floor. Anders was out cold and could not defend himself from what was about to befall him. Hawke licked at the mage's blood slowly. Revelling in the taste of it before pulling the feathered pauldrons away to expose his shoulder. Varric was froze in place as he saw what Hawke did next. Hawke bit down into Anders's shoulder hard. Blood erupting from the sudden wound. The force of the bite roused Anders just enough to give off a pained gasp. He slowly came to as the feeling of his blood being drained cause him to weakly protest. He was too weak to fight back and his body gave a jerk when he felt Hawke grind into him. The scenario only lasted a few moments before he was dropped to the ground. His body jarred from the impact and he tryied to crawl away. Hawke was to absorbed in the taste of blood to notice Anders flee from him. Anders had every right to tend to his injuries first. Though even in his paniced state he chose to heal the others excpet for Hawke. Before he healed himself. His eyes wide as he stared back at Hawke. Who had begun laughing darkly. He saw the blood around Hawke swirl then. Varric too saw the display. Fenris backed up against the wall and pulled himself up to stand. Varric and Anders watched in silence as the blood whirled about Hawke's body as it sunk into his wounds. Sealing them as if they were never there. "The fuck are you..." Anders whispered as he held his sore shoulder. Hawke slowly turned to them. The blood dripping from his mouth into his dark beard. His tongue sliding out in an almost sexual manner as he licked his mouth and teeth. He seemed a bit out of it at the moment. A sickening grin of satisfaction splayed across his face as he turned around towards the ogre and ripped his axe from its head.

Fenris stared at him from against the wall silently. He looked over to the Abomination and Varric. Gauging their reactions to what Hawke truely was. They were horrified and shocked. He saw how their body shook with fear. He slightly smirked at seeing the mage so scared for his life. Though part of him achingly wished it was him who Hawke bit into. He shuddered as he inwardly cursed at himself for such a depraved thought. Yet he couldn't help wish for such closeness. He began to question were he stood on the matter. He refocused his attention on his two stunned companions. He smiled for no real reason before looking over to his warrior brethren. Hawke was different now. He was having a blood high that made him smile as blood dripped from his teeth. Fenris shuddered as he stared at him. Fenris stood shakily off the thaig wall. His footing a bit unsure. His waist hurt from being nearly ripped in two. He knelt slowy to pick up his sword. He watched as Anders used his staff to help him stand. Varric stood as well. Holding close his beloved Bianca. The two men simply gawked at Hawke. Varric swallowed as he knew now the rumors about Hawke. Were all true. He could smell a story begining to unfold. He wondered what kind of warrior could do such a thing. The man looked less like a man now. As he stood covered in blood. Varric turned and hurried his way off further the way they had planned on going. Such a story like this needed to be told! Anders on the other hand shook like a leaf as he stared at Hawke. He never really trusted the man to begin with. Yet everything the man did pissed him off and impressed him. Though he was scared for his life right now. He hurried his way after Varric as he pushed the sickening feeling aside. Hawke stalked his way towards them. Fenris trailed after the larger man and attempted to keep up with him. He was always drawn to Hawke when he was like this. Fenris wished to converse with this Hawke.

"Thank you... For earlier, Hawke." Fenris said as he came into Hawke's view. Hawke's eye slid to train itself on the elven male. "If anyone is going to kill you one day. It will be me..." Hawke said slowly. Fenris gave a nod as if understanding what the larger man was saying. Fenris knew this man was dangerous. Yet he couldn't help but be drawn to him. "I see..." He spoke slowly as if thinking. He then added a question. "And how do you intend to kill me?" He looked up into Hawke's eye and watched as the larger man's expression became a grim sense of delightment. Hawke swung around then and slammed Fenris up against the corridor wall. His hand braced on the elf's sternum. Fenris gave a hiss of discomfort as his marking flared to life breifly while he latched onto Hawke's wrist. The distplay got Varric and Anders's attention. They turned toward them and hurried to help Fenris. Before they could say anything however. Fenris waved them off. "I can deal with him. Wait for us up ahead." He forced out due to Hawke complicating his breathing. His eyes focused on Hawke's one. The other two men gave worried looks before backing away. They turned and walked through the corridor to the next room. They looked back several times. Fenris tried to shift his body enough to breathe but Hawke only forced him against the wall harder. As if on cue Hawke leaned forward to answer the question asked by the elf. "How... Will I kill you... I have thought about the ways since the day I met you, you Branded Bastard Elf. Though the more I think about it. The more fucked up it gets each time." Hawke started with a laugh. His eye drifted down to the elf's neck then. "The quickest way would be to break your neck. But that would be no fun... Though... The thought of devouring you seems more pleasent. Well. Heh. For me anyway." Hawke said with a twisted smile. The blood still evident in his mouth. The way Hawke had said it in a sensual manner was disturbing if not exciting at the same time. Fenris inwardly cursed himself again for having such bizzare notions. Why was he wanting to feel such sickening things be done to him? Why did he want to imagine himself being torn to shreds by this man? It made no sense. It was immoral and perverted. The very ideas that Hawke invoked in him. It terrified him, yet he wanted more. Fenris wanted more of it. Fenris shivered. Hawke's smile widened. "Question. Elf. Are you afraid of me?" He asked. Fenris pulled himself from his darkening thoughts and simply answered, "No." Hawke licked at his teeth before he let go. Dropping Fenris back to his feet. Hawke stayed standing there and watching Fenris intently. Fenris did not need to be told what it was Hawke wanted from him. Fenris just gave a nod and walked on ahead. Feeling the intense gaze from Hawke's eye. Opting to ignore the giant stalking him. Fenris focused on walking ahead to catch up with Varric and the mage.

The silence that happened upon the four was dark as it was threatening. Hawke watched from the back as he eyed his companions. He had tasted both the mage's blood and the elf's. He soon glared openly at Varric. He wondered what that dwarf's blood tasted like. He has had dwarven blood before. There was a certain earthen taste to it. He pondered on the thought of Varric's blood being different. As if sensing the vampiric desire from his expedition partner. Varric swallowed loudly and hurried his pace. Behind them Hawke started to murmur to himself. "Do you believe... Do you feel like a dream..." He gave off a mild laugh. Fenris gave a stifled groan at hearing those words. His sense of interest growing as the blood warrior behind him continued with his monolouged murmuring. Fenris let out a breath as he casted a look back at Hawke. He paid no attention as he walked into Anders. The mage turned to look at him. Fenris shot a look back up at the mage. It was then that Fenris noticed how drained of energy Anders was. His eyes sunk in a bit, his normally lightly tanned skin was pale now. Or was it the dim light in this cavernous tunnel? The wound that Anders suffered had dried, blood clinging to his hair. Fenris watched as Anders's eyes left him and focused on Hawke. For some perplexing reason Anders frowned and pushed Fenris to stand infront of him. Anders put himself between Fenris and Hawke. Fenris glared at him then. Why was that damned abomination seperating him from Hawke? He hated this mage and yet that mage was trying to protect him? There was always an unspoken agreement between the two when it came to Hawke. It was the only time that Anders seemed to care for Fenris's well being. Though the idea didn't sit well with Fenris. He didn't need this mage's protection. "I don't need your concern, Mage." Fenris growled. Anders looked tiredly at him. "Frankly, I don't give a damn about your well being. I just rather make for sure the only person capable of fighting Hawke off isn't killed by being stabbed in the back..." Anders hissed using his staff to hurry Fenris along. Fenris knew the mage was partly right. Fenris could fight Hawke off if the need ever arised. Especially down here should something happen. Fenris gave an irritated sigh before speaking. "His high only lasts for a few minutes. He will be his normal hateful self in a little while." Fenris stated evenly. Anders simply hummed lowly in acknowledgement. They soon caught up with Varric in a large open room. "Finally you guys catch up. I thought Hawke ate you for a moment..." Varric said with dry humour. "Hey... Where is the killer psycho anyway?" Varric asked as he held Bianca closer to himself than usual. Anders turned to look. "He was behind us." He said as he leaned onto his staff. Fenris rolled his eyes at the mage and walked towards Varric with his arms crossed. Varric glanced up at the elf. "Something bothering you, Broody?" He asked. Voice lined with concern. Fenris gave a sigh. "I'm... Not sure..." He answered honestly. Anders turned from the tunnel and walked further into the large room. Not taking note of the dust that fell from the high ceilling as something crawled its way along the stone rafters.

Only after Anders came to stop beside the duo in the center of the room. Did any of them take into account a rush of air along with the flap of large wings. The trio looked up just in time to dodge from the large mature dragon swooping down upon them. Fire gushing from it large mouth. As they tried to pick themselves back up. They saw smaller dragons crawling down the statues of Dwarves. The larger dragon landed and swung it's clawed hand down right in front of Varric's face. It would have slammed his head into the ground had he not shoved himself back fast enough. Blood spilt behind him and a dragonling's head rolled past him. The mature dragon stared at the small head and let out a cry of anger. It took a deep breath and proceeded to shoot fire out. It hit a wall of ice and Varric took that as his cue to get off his ass and start firing rounds of bolts into the other baby dragons. Fenris was having a fight with one small dragon that jumped upon his back. With his markings blazing to life he gave a shout as a pulsing wave was released from his markings shoving the dragon off his back. He swung around and slammed down the greatsward into the dragon's head. Its body jerked from side to side before stopping. The three men were able to avoid the large dragon as they picked off the babies. Though it sure didn't sit well with the mother. Who then rushed at them with her jaws streched open wide. Varric tried to back up but tripped over one of the dead small dragons. Causing a dominio effect. He knocked over Anders who knocked Fenris to the ground. Who in turn threw out a string of Tervene curse words. Before the dragon could clamp her jaws around the dwarf's head, she was pulled back. The dragon turned to look at the assailant that grabbed her tail. Hawke held onto the dragon's tail as he held his axe up high before swinging it down. He struck her tail and she let out a loud roar of pain as Hawke repeated the action cutting her tail off. She used her wings to hoist herself into the air. Yet due to the lack of a tail she could not guide her body to fly the way she wanted. She landed back on the ground and ran full force towards Hawke. Hawke gave a smile as he braced himself. Readying his weapon for the perfect moment. At the last moment he swung the heavy axe. It collided with the dragon's head as a gush of blood erupted in a fountian everywhere around him. Hawke dropped to the ground as the dragon's body flew over him and hit the ground at the tunnel's entrance. Hawke stood up covered in the dragon's blood. He shivered as he licked it from his hand. He eyed the three other men as they tried to get up. Hawke walked over to the dead dragon and shoved it out of the way with some effort on his part. Varric was the first to respond. "Where the sodding Void were you, Hawke!?" He shouted. Hawke looked over towards him. "Had to take a piss." Hawke said with brute honesty. "A piss doesn't take that long! We nearly got killed!" Varric yelled. "If I said that I had to jerk off to the amount of blood all over me... Would you shut the fuck up?" Hawke asked as his hand ran down his body gathering up the blood. Varric huffed as he threw his hands up. "I'm done! I'm dooooonnnneee!" He said as he tryied his hardest not to laugh at the this. It was better he laughed then the idea of throwing up in his mouth. Anders blushed and went to follow Varric. Fenris watched Hawke out of the corner of his eye. His breath slightly caught as he saw Hawke run his hand beneath the front of his long tunic. There was no doubt in his mind that Hawke was aroused by blood and violence. Knowing that bit of information. Fenris groaned lowly as he bit his bottom lip. Again he cursed at his mind for the demented and perverted turn it took into the dark forbiden part of his mind. A part of him. He never knew existed until he met Hawke.

Varric and Anders waited for Hawke and Fenris to meet them up the steps. "Ah. This is exactly the way we need to go. Let's go tell Bartrand. He'll be so pleased." Varric said shaking his head. He turned to look at Hawke. He shrugged as he tried to look up at Hawke and not beforced to talk to the man's crotch. "We should head back now. Let brother dearest know." Varric said craning his neck to look at Hawke. Hawke merely grunted in response, the sick smile starting to fade from his face. Though there was something else there. Varric dreaded the idea of looking straight ahead of him. He turned quickly and walked around Hawke being followed by Anders who used his staff to walk. The mage was exhausted as he forced himself to walk. Being affected by what Hawke had done to him earlier. He casted a glare back at the larger human. Who was staring at him intently. Anders faced forward and walked beside Varric. "So... What exactly is Hawke..." It was more of a thought than a question. Varric looked up to Anders. "I don't quite know exactly, Blondie. But now I see all the rumors about Hawke were true. We best keep moving before Hawke decides it's time for seconds." He said with a bit of warning to the mage. Anders swallowed deeply and nodded. Fenris lingered close to Hawke, remaining on the human's good side. He stayed quiet as they walked the path back to the Expedition's campsite.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 Damaged

After returning to let the Varric's brother know. And getting cleaned of blood. Hawke proceeded to take up the forefront along with Bartrand. Varric felt a bit sick considering what had happened a few moments earlier. He felt sorry for Anders, who had to lay on one of the carts due to a sudden fatigue that hit him. The blonde mage was out cold as he snored lightly. Varric felt a chill run down his spine at that moment. All the rumors about Hawke were true. He tried to recall what he was considered. He knew there was a name for such warriors. Either way the chill never left Varric's spine. He shivered despite the growing heat the further they traveled in. Passing up the dragon carcass. Hawke resisted the urge to run his hand through its blood. Varric saw as Hawke hesitated to move for a second. Varric wished for this venture to hurry up and end already. Sometimes he questioned why he asked the man to fund the Expedition. Then again. No one else would of been able to do it. He checked his pocket for the vials Hawke's mother gave him. He gave a sigh of relief. Good. At least they can snap Hawke out of his stupor. Varric looked over his shoulder at the angsty elf trailing behind him. Weird. The elf seemed more disturbed then usual. Fenris's arms were crossed as he had a distant look on his face. Varric looked to where the elf's vision focused on. The elf was staring intently at Hawke. Varric raised a brow as he tried to figure out what the elf was thinking. He looked back at the elf and coughed to get the elf's attention. Fenris was slightly startled by the noise as his markings were a clear sign as they lit up briefly. The elf focused his sight on Varric who walked beside him.

"Something about Hawke bothering you, Broody?" Varric prodded.

"Huh... I.. Uh. No..." Fenris started not sure what to say.

"Come on. You seem a bit broodier since we got here." Varric continued.

"I am as I've always been. Why are you asking?" Fenris questioned as he narrowed his eyes at the dwarf.

"Well. I noticed you staring at Mister Psycho Killer. Rather intently. I might add." Varric said scooting closer.

"..." Fenris broke eye contact to glance off to the side. Varric frowned.

"Hey... Umm.. Did Hawke hurt you or something?" Varric asked wondering if Hawke did the same thing to Fenris that he did to Anders.

"No. He hasn't done anything to me." Fenris said a bit too quickly.

"That was too quick a response... Listen you can just walk away from him. If he is making you uncomfortable, Fenris." Varric spoke softly.

"I am fine. You need not concern yourself with my well being." Fenris stated, his arms tightening across his chest. He had been holding his arms crossed the entire time after they killed the dragons.

"Listen. Hawke is a difficult man. That doesn't mean you can help him by yourself. Aveline told me about you trying to help him." Varric said looking up at Fenris. Fenris glared down at him then.

"I appreciate your concern. As well as Aveline's. But I can handle my own with Hawke. We... Have an understanding... I may not trust him completely due to his mentality. But I am willing to understand him." Fenris said casting a longing sort of glance at Hawke. "I am not blind to the fact Hawke is dangerous. Beside. Hawke has good qualities as well. They are... Hidden is all..." He finished as he stared at Hawke.

"Well. As long as he doesn't hurt you. That is what I'm worried about." Varric said giving a nod of understandment as he left to check on Anders.

Fenris sneaked a peek to see if Varric was looking back at him. When he knew no one was watching. He slowly pulled one hand to slide up to the side of his neck. Right over the part that was bitten into so long ago by Hawke. He shuddered as he remembered the feeling. A sick twisted kind of pleasure bubbled its way through him. He let out a small gasp. "Fasta Vass..." He swore. He needed to figure out what in the Void was wrong with him. Why was he having those thoughts? He pushed the thoughts aside. He silently wondered how he looked to everyone else. It must of been readable due to Varric calling him out. He sighed as he ran his hand back down and tucked it close as he crossed it with the other arm. He continued to brood as he walked along the outside of the Expedition. He avoided talking to the others as they continued the trek for the next few days. Till finally it came down to one more. One more night they had to wait. One more night and they would be upon the thaig they were searching for.

Fenris chose to sit alone as the rest set camp. He felt cold despite the high amount of heat in the cavern. He had been feeling uncomfortable the entire journey. He was having weird notions about things he had never wanted in all his life. He could not figure out why he was having such ideas. He never had these ideas until he met Hawke. He remained silent as he looked at the others as they went to sleep. Anders was getting ready to lay down sharing a tent with Varric. Fenris pulled his gaze from the mage and focused back on the stone wall before him. He felt a slight tremor that shook a few small rocks. Too large to be mere pebbles. He held fast as a dim large shadow fell over him. Out of instinct. He made himself smaller. Pulling his legs closer to himself and hunched over wrapping his arms around his legs. He tensed as he felt razor sharp metal scrape through his hair. Holding his eyes tightly closed he forced himself to breathe. He didn't have to hear the man talk to know who it was. Yet his voice still came. "It is not wise to sit this far out, Elf." The low dark voice spoke. That voice was deeper than his. He felt the sharp metal clad fingers brush roughly through his hair down towards the back of his neck. Why was Hawke touching him like that? Hawke was not know for such gestures. Then what he originally expected to happen. Happened. Hawke reached back gripping the elf's hair tightly and pulled Fenris to his feet. Fenris gave a growled hiss at the larger man but said nothing. He harshly glared up at the larger man as he was pulled to face Hawke. "You could easily get killed out this far." Hawke droned. Fenris gave off another growl. "What do you want, Hawke?" He spat out. Hawke simply smiled down at him. "Remember our arranged agreement?" He said lowly. Fenris's pulse quickened at the words. Yes. He remembered. He fidgeted slightly as he swallowed. "I remember..." He said lowly as he stared up at Hawke. Hawke's smile grew as he exposed his serrated teeth. "Yes... Will you consent to it this time? Or will I have to force myself on you again?" Hawke asked with a tilt to his head. Fenris frowned. "Why ask me when you are going to do what you wish anyway?" He snapped questioningly. Hawke gave a low sigh as he rolled his eye. "I rather you allow me. Less commotion to rouse the others from sleep. Though... I do enjoy a struggle. But we will have to move out of sight and earshot for that." Hawke laughed darkly. Fenris winced as Hawke's grip tightened. He was glad that they were far enough from the campfire. He did not wish for Hawke to see his face turn a light shade of red. "Can we do this further away from camp..." Fenris slowly asked. Hawke gave a nod as he released the elf's hair. Fenris ran his hand through his hair as he turned from Hawke and walked further away from camp. Walking to stop behind a large rock that held a sizable crevice. He leaned against the wall and looked up as Hawke stopped to stand in front of him. "Tell me. Why do you allow me to abuse you so, Fenris?" Hawke suddenly asked looking down at him. Fenris swallowed. "Because. As I said before. I do not wish to die." Fenris stated looking off to the side. "Then why didn't you refuse to come down here and move on?" Hawke pressured as he leaned towards the elf. "I... Wished to be down here with you..." Fenris said slowly avoiding Hawke's eye. Hawke gave a low chuckle. "Looks to me like you love the feeling of death upon you." Hawke smirked as he put his hands on either side of Fenris. Fenris remained quiet for a few minutes. Hawke merely stared at him. Fenris let off a low growl as he glared at Hawke. "Aren't you going to take me or not?" He hissed irritably. "I wanted you to look at me, Fenris." Hawke said lowly as he picked Fenris up and slammed him against the cave wall. Fenris gave off a pained gasp as his head hit the wall. His breathing quickened as his marking pulsed. His face turned a bit red as he felt Hawke push between his legs as he was pinned to the wall. Stuck between the rock and the hard plains of Hawke's leather bound body. Fenris pushed against Hawke roughly. He didn't like this sort of contact. It made him uneasy. Even though he gave his consent for Hawke to do this. He wasn't going to allow the man to sexually assault him as well. That wasn't part of the deal. He gave a low growl at Hawke before he was grabbed by his hair and pulled his head to the side. Hawke pulled a loose the elf's armor to expose more of his shoulder. His eye followed the trail of lyrium. Fenris shuddered as Hawke licked at his throat. Feeling the man graze his teeth lightly against him before he felt them sink into his flesh. Fenris felt the pain shoot through him. Instead of a pained yell like he had did the last time. He could not stop himself from letting out a low groan of sick pleasure. His eyes rolled back a bit into his head as he gave a gasp, feeling Hawke gnaw at his neck. He let out small whimper as he felt Hawke press his hips against his own. Fenris tried to close his legs but only managed to bring them up against Hawke's waist. A surge of heat went through him then. Without realizing what he was doing. He wrapped his legs around the large human's waist. He felt as Hawke pulled his mouth away. Fenris was sure his blood was spilling from the larger man's mouth. He felt Hawke's tongue soothe the gruesome bite wound. He then felt a cold sensation flow around the wound itself as the pain from it faded. Fenris leaned his head back against the stone and panted slightly. A low rumble of laughter brought him back to the dreary reality around him. A blush crawled over his face at the realization of how he was clinging to Hawke. "Well now... I never met someone who enjoyed this as much as I do." Hawke mused darkly as he pressed further into Fenris. Fenris's eyes widened as he let off a growl. "I d-d-did no s-such thing!" He said quite flustered. "Heh. Then you better close your legs before I decide to accept your invitation." Hawke chuckled sinisterly with his ever present sick smile. Fenris's face flushed a darker red as he unwrapped his legs from around Hawke's waist and turned to look away from him. Hawke removed himself and let Fenris dropped to his feet. He watched as the elf covered himself. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, Fenris." He said in a strange soft tone. Fenris glared daggers at him. "Of course this is something to be ashamed of! That was sick and twisted! And. And perverted!" Fenris said loudly in a bit of panic. His eyes wide as his frown turned into a snarl. "Why do I allow you to do this to me!" He barked as he backed up further into the wall. Hawke seemed unamused. "You said it is because you do not wish to die." Hawke pointed out. "I don't!" Fenris growled. "Then you **are** afraid of me." Hawke droned lowly as his sick smile faded. "I. No! I'm...not...I... I'm not fucking afraid of you!" Fenris huffed as he closed his eyes with his head low as he began seething. "You and I are so much similar... Strange how I haven't noticed it till now." Hawke pondered aloud as he looked closer at the elf. "I am nothing like you, Hawke. I'm not some mindless murdering psychopath who has to kill people just to stay sane!" Fenris retorted. "Not in that sense... No... Though you and I are both damaged..." Hawke started slowly as Fenris shook his head. "No...I'm not like you..." Fenris forced himself to say. "There is a reason why you found pleasure in what I just did to you. But no normal person would feel such things unless there was something wrong with them." Hawke continued. "Just shut the fuck up!" Fenris yelled at him. Hawke gave a chuckle. "Now you're starting to fucking sound like me." Hawke slowly licked his teeth as he peered down at the smaller man before him.

"J-just go away..." Fenris said as he dropped to the ground, his markings pulsing dimly in the dark. Hawke sat down heavily beside him. Slowly wiping the blood from his mouth as it had ran into his beard. Fenris refused to look at him and scooted further away from the larger male. Hawke's good mood was starting to revert back to normal. Though given what was going on with his object of desire. Maybe he could try not to be an utter dick. Though he doesn't see that happening anytime soon. He had already tried to ease the elf's mind. He shrugged before letting off a yawn. He was rather content at the moment. Due to the blood high he was currently on. Hawke chose to sit there idly as if trying in some way to offer some sort of non-physical form of comfort. It was a long time till he heard Fenris shift. The elf was still awake. "Let me hear you breathe..." He started. Fenris stiffened beside him. "Let me watch... As you sleep..." Hawke forced himself to say slowly. Trying to not pose as the deadly threat he truly was. He could not see the elf from this side. He leaned back against the wall and watched as Fenris made his way to sit down on the left side. Hawke's good side. Fenris slowly looked up at him through the fringe of his hair and sighed. Fenris hesitantly leaned against Hawke. He remained still and soon fell asleep. Hawke simply watched him. A few hours later. Hawke slowly picked the elf up and moved closer to the camp before he set down against the cart and set the elf back down. Considering he was recently drained of some blood. Moving the elf was no hassle. Hawke let his eye close before he too fell asleep. A small smile played out on his face. Though it would soon give way to a deep frown at what his dreams had in store for him. There was also something else that didn't sit right with Hawke. This feeling soon proved to be a source of aggravation to him.

Varric was the second to rise from his sleep. He got up and walked out of the tent to find a bizarre sight. The angsty elf was sleeping against a sodding sadist. Varric had to do a double take to even understand that Fenris was currently curled up against the side of Hawke's chest asleep. The weirdest thing about this was that both of them were even allowing such contact. Fenris and Hawke weren't know for indulging in physical contact nor were they able to put up with being touched. Another thing that baffled Varric was the fact Hawke was awake. His gauntleted hand twitched slightly as it rested around the elf's neck. Varric could see Hawke glaring down at the slumbering elf. Varric wasn't sure he should walk over there and say something. Though from the looks of it. He may not even need to go over there. Hawke's hand ran through the elf's hair and tightened. Fenris winced in his sleep. Hawke gave a low growl before he pulled the elf off him. Fenris awoke with a start and reached to hold onto Hawke's hand. The drowsy elf gave off a growl of his own at the larger man. Hawke shoved the elf to the ground and stood up. Fenris rubbed one of his eyes and slowly stood up. Varric frowned a bit. Hawke wasn't a gentle person when it came to waking people up. Varric gave a sigh and turned around.

A few hours later the Expedition finally reached where it was suppose to be. A large thaig like non other. Red glowing stones that caused Hawke to shift uncomfortably. He held his head as Bartrand was running his mouth. Hawke couldn't hear the dwarf over the singing and screaming in the back of his head. He growled as he clawed his face in an attempt to focus. The dwarf wasn't standing in front of him anymore. Hawke huffed as he took a drink. He saw Bodahn and Sandal out the corner of his eye. The dwarves walked up to him and began thanking him and something about a debt to be paid. Hawke wasn't having any of it as he stalked past them. He was growing hungry. It was true he had already eaten a few pieces of bread and dried meat but that wasn't enough. Not for him. He stopped by a flight of stairs that lead further into the thaig. Varric waltz up beside him then. He could feel the other two men stop behind him as well. "So. Any idea what's down there?" Varric asked. "Rotten and rancid corpses of Void knows what. Either way it better be worth my time..." Hawke growled as he walked forward. "Well. One way to find out." Varric let off as he followed behind him. As did the others.

After a sudden near ambush of shades and a damn golem. They walked their way down a corridor. Varric laughed a bit. So Hawke could over power an ogre and a golem. Even a dragon! Wonderful to say the least. He could make up a story of Hawke arm wrestling it into submission. He returned his focus on the task at hand as he saw Hawke stop in front of a stone door. "Welp. How are we going to get that open? It looks like its sealed shut." He said aloud. "Maybe we can all push on it or I can use magic?" Anders question. Hawke pushed at the door lightly as if gauging how stuck it was. He gave a low grunt as he pulled back then slammed into it heavily with all his weight. The door cracked open as a rush of dusty air flew out. "Or use Hawke as a battering ram..." Fenris stated evenly. "That too." Varric chuckled. Hawke shoved the heavy door open and noticed it tried to pull back closed. Figuring this door could only be pushed opened and not pulled. He gave a growl as he propped the door open with a dagger he held. It jammed the door open. It would hold the door till he came back to retrieve it. He left the door and quickly ascended the stairs along with his followers.

On an alter in the center of the room was a red stone idol. It was simply amazing. Hawke stepped up to the alter to look closer at it. "Is that... Lyrium?" Varric questioned lowly. "Red lyrium...I have never heard of such a thing." Hawke stated as he reached for it. "You think it is booby-trapped?" Varric asked Hawke. "One way to find out." He said as he reached and snatched it from the alter. For a agonizing brief moment Hawke's mind spun so suddenly he got nauseous. He let out a aggravated growl and shoved the blight taken idol to Varric. Nothing had happened when it was picked up. No traps went off. Bartrand yelled from the door at them. "Did you find anything?!" He yelled up at them from the base of the stairs. "Look brother! An idol made out of pure lyrium!" Varric said tossing it to his brother. Bartrand let out a whistle as he caught it. "Nice find." Bartrand said lowly as he slowly backed up. He bent down and pulled the dagger holding the door open and set it on the ground before quietly pulling the door closed. "You think there could be more further in, Hawke?" Varric asked looking up at Hawke. Hawke stiffened as if struck. A deep frown set on his face as he swung towards the door. He could hear it closing. "MOTHERFUCKER!" Hawke shouted aloud as he took off down the stairs. Hawke's sudden burst of speed shocked Varric as well as the others. They soon noticed the door was sliding closed. Bartand managed to close the door before Hawke could get to it. Just barely closing it as his clawed gauntlet scraped horrendously across the stone and rusted metal. Varric and the others were right beside him in the next instance. Varric shoved his way between Hawke and the door and banged on it repeatedly. "Bartrand! The door closed behind you!" He hollered. "You were always good noticing those things brother!" Bartrand said with a laugh. Varric stole a glance up at Hawke in that moment The large man was frozen again. "What?! Are you fucking kidding me?! You're going to screw us over for a lousy idol!" Varric yelled back. "I ain't splitting this shit three ways. And it isn't just the idol! The location of this thaig alone is worth a fortune!" Bartrand said with a laugh as he walked away. Varric started to scream his brother's name and demanded he comes back and open the door. Anders dropped to the floor and wrapped his arms around his legs. Fenris started swearing in his native tongue while Varric pounded on the door. Hawke stood there and remained eerily quiet. The three men looked over towards their so called leader. "H-hawke..." Varric started hesitantly. There was a low noise growing in the back of Hawke's throat. Soon he grabbed his head and let out a loud yell. The others shrunk back from him then. He clenched his teeth and his fists before slamming his head against the stone door making it rattle. He started screaming out profanities before he whirled on Varric and slammed him up against the wall with one hand. "Did you know this fucking shit was going to HAPPEN!" He seethed at the dwarf. "NO! I didn't know! I'm just as pissed off as you are, Hawke!" Varric said as he began to panic. Hawke growled dangerously before harshly throwing Varric to the ground. Varric crawled way and latched onto Anders. "Fuuu..." He whined. Hawke returned his frustration towards the door and let his rage boil over. The other three took that time to retreat up the stairs back near the alter and sit down. It would take a while before Hawke calms down again. In the mean time. They just had to stay out of his reach.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 Trapped

Varric, Anders, and Fenris sat quietly against the alter in the middle of the large stone room. They listened to Hawke scream out profanities none of them have ever heard before in their lives. There was nothing for Hawke to destroy. The room was bare all except for the alter in it's center. They all gave a heavy sigh. Varric held Bianca close and ran his hand across her flawless frame. He turned his head slightly to the side and saw Fenris take a deep inhalation of air. Varric glance back down to Bianca before he had to the urge to look at Fenris again. He stared at the elf. Fenris looked tired. More so than usual. As he looked closer he noticed a dark spot staining the elf's armor right near the neck. Varric looked over Fenris and noticed something odd. The way he held himself wasn't right. It was like he was forcing himself to stay awake. Varric wanted to say something. He opened his mouth to ask if Fenris was okay. Though Hawke's voice cut through the air and Varric closed his mouth. They had to be quiet. Least Hawke would turn his rage towards them. He shivered from the thought of what could happen to all of them down here. They were trapped. No food nor water. And to make this worse. Hawke was unstable. Varric cursed under his breath. Why did his brother do this? His brother would never abandon family. Bartrand cared too much for family. Sure his brother was a arrogant asshole. But Varric was sure his brother would have never done something like this. Right? This was a dream. It had to be. Yet the idea failed to hold any logic. Dwarves were not known to have many dreams. Most dwarves can't dream at all. Due to their high resistance to magic. Fade included.  
Anders held his head in his hands as he tried to calm himself. He didn't want to be down here. He hated the very idea of coming here. Though he figured it wouldn't have lasted. That they wouldn't have gotten trapped. Maybe he only came down here because facing darkspawn was easier than the templars. He never wanted to actually die in the Deep Roads. Though he convinced himself that Varric had no idea of his brother's betrayal. He looked to the side at the dwarf. He wondered what was going through Varric's mind. Then his mind wandered to whether or not they were ever going to get out of here. Then another thought happened upon him. Hawke. That fucking bastard took a bite out him a few days ago. He silently pondered on the idea that Hawke might be a sodding cannibal. The thought scared him. He wondered which would be worse. Getting killed by darkspawn, dying of hunger, thirst, or being murdered by Hawke then eaten. The thought cause Anders to nearly throw up. He didn't wish to think about it any longer. He shook his head furiously.  
Fenris gave another sigh as he looked down towards the sealed door. Hawke was outraged. Fenris wondered what he should do. They would die down here. He swallowed a bit as a chill ran down his spine. He reached up and ran his hand along his neck. He somewhat smiled at the memory of the feeling. His smile faded as he inwardly cursed at himself. Why was he dwelling on that? He threw his hand down and glared down the stairs to where Hawke was. With a growl he stood up. Ignoring Varric and Anders's silent pleading stares to remain there. He furrowed his brow as he made his way down the stairs towards the raging male. Hawke's body was rigid, his hands holding his head. His long hair falling to the front as he was bent forward. Hawke was muttering quickly in a low voice. Fenris faltered his steps as he looked at Hawke. Cautiously he made his way slowly up behind Hawke. Bracing himself for a forceful rebuff from the larger warrior. Fenris stared briefly at Hawke before he noticed the pool of blood growing in front of the larger man. "H-hawke... You're..." Fenris started concern evident in his voice. Hawke's body stilled as he breathed deep. His shoulders rising and falling unevenly. He spun quickly and latched onto Fenris's chest plate. Pulling Fenris till their faces were even. Fenris gasped as he saw the blood coming from Hawke's forehead. He looked further down and saw deep gouges scattered about Hawke's arms and chest. Hawke's pupil was dilated. Nearly black as it consumed the man's entire eye. Hawke was still seething over the fact they were locked in this wretched pit. Though Fenris never would have guessed Hawke would end up mutilating himself. He swallowed as he stared at Hawke. Pushing his shock aside. Fenris growled as he furrowed his brow. Hawke let off a dark growl in response as he pulled his head back. Fenris remember that movement. His eyes widened as Hawke tilted his head where the spikes of his eye patch was aligned with Fenris's head. Fenris thought quickly and shot his hand out to stop Hawke. Grabbing the spikes and Hawke's dark hair. He shoved against Hawke. The spikes cut deep into his hand and Fenris let out a suppressed groan of pain. His marking lit up and he phased out of the larger man's grasp and dodge to stand behind Hawke. Hawke seemed to be stunned slightly by this little trick. Hawke let off a breath as he spun around to land a heavy fist at the elf. Whipping his hair like a whip behind him. Not entirely in his right mind. Fenris would have dodged if it wasn't for the razor wire that was hidden in Hawke's long hair. Having been whipped in the face. Fenris had no idea that Hawke whipped his head first before he moved his body. Now he saw how Hawke deterred would-be sneak attackers. The razor wire had caught into Fenris's armor pulling him into place as a huge left hand struck him across the face. He fell down hard onto the stone floor. Only when Fenris's blood started to flow from the cuts across his face did Hawke falter. Hawke sniffed the air as he licked at his teeth. His head snapped down to the ground and zeroed in on Fenris. There was large gash across the elf's face where Hawke's hand landed. The sharp metal ripped apart the elf's flesh on his face. Though Fenris was more pissed off than he was stunned. His harsh glare focused solely on Hawke. Hawke leaned over the elf as if just realizing it was Fenris. "Just so you know... I did not enjoy that..." Fenris growled lowly through clenched teeth. Hawke clenched his fist as his sharp metal claws dug into his palm. He reached down and grabbed Fenris, pulling him up to stand by his face. Fenris was repulsed by the fact that Hawke was smearing his own blood on to his face. Disgusted by this action Fenris smacked Hawke's hand away. The cold sensation went through him as the wound on his face started to heal. His eyes widened as he saw his own blood flowing into Hawke's hand. He quickly looked up to question Hawke. Hawke held his head to the side. Blood started to come from underneath the eye patch. The side of Hawke's mouth peeled open as it started to bleed. Once the cold sensation and pain faded. Fenris watched as the blood reversed on Hawke and flowed back into the wounds. Sealing them up as if they weren't there. Though there was a faded hint of where the wound was. Fenris ran his hand onto his own face where the wound was. He looked at his hand. The blood that was there was gone. He slowly looked back up at Hawke. "What... Did you just do?" Fenris questioned. "You were damaged... I fixed you..." Hawke droned lowly closing his eye as a shot of pain went through him. He fell forward bracing himself with his hands against his legs. He coughed up blood as he held his eye closed. "How did you you even..." Fenris started to say as he stared at the man. "Reavers can heal others just the same as they can damage them. Aura of pain allows us to damage our enemies by hurting ourselves. This can be reversed and heal as well. Leaving no wound. No pain... But it comes with a price..." Hawke answered as he stood up wiping his mouth. "We need to find a way out of here..." He said as he turned towards the stairs. Fenris remained quiet. As they walked up the stairs Fenris noticed Anders and Varric fidgeting. They were talking back and forth. Fenris looked up to Hawke. Hawke was holding his head as he held his eye tightly closed. Hawke wasn't even paying any attention. Though Fenris felt like he knew they probably saw what had just transpired. Varric and Anders were looking at a door on the far side of the room and trying their best to open the door. They turned to look back at Hawke and Fenris. "Finally you calmed down... Think you can bull doze your way through this door?" Varric asked Hawke. Hawke growled as he held his head. He moved his hand and walked up to the door. Considering the conversation he and Fenris walked in on. Hawke could assume this door was the same as the other. Hawke pulled back a bit before sending his foot crashing into the door. The old door cracked along its hinges and fell open. He gave a grunt and walked forward into the hall. Varric gave a sigh before he watched Fenris walk past him. Varric gave Fenris a worried look. Varric pointed to the side of his own face and tapped it. He tilted his head to the side as if saying 'Yeah I saw what he did.' Fenris turned his attention away from the dwarf. Varric sighed as he looked over to Anders who was glaring at Hawke. It worried Varric a lot just thinking on what might happen to them down here. He saw as Fenris glare at Hawke then. Hawke seemed to ignore the elf. Varric pushed the feeling aside. They needed to find a way out of this pit. He looked back at Anders. The mage was uneasy as they walked through the hallway.

They ran into golems and shades at several points as they traveled further Varric silently thanked the Maker that Hawke was there. Sure the man was questionable with his mood and intentions. But nothing stood a chance in holding against him. He batted them away like mere flies. Varric was glad that they were on Hawke's side. Everything that apposed the man. Usually died in a unrecognizable bloody heap. As they traveled further they encountered living rock like creatures. Varric swore it was something out of a fairytale. They soon came to a room that had red veins of lyrium running along the entire length of the room. More of the rock creatures. After they dealt with them a voice cut through the air. "Enough!" The voice echoed. The four of them stopped and turned to the one that yelled. It was another one of those rock creatures. "Do not attack these creatures!" It said loudly. "If they attack me then I am going to kill them." Hawke growled. "They will not attack you further. Not without my consent." Varric huffed as stood behind Hawke. "What in Andraste's name are these things. They're like rock wraiths." Varric said as he stared at it from behind Hawke. Who was currently staring the odd entity down. "The profane have lingered in these caves for countless ages." It spoke. Anders shifted beside Varric as he stood behind Fenris. Hawke stared at the thing as it continued to speak. "They hunger. They feed off the stone till it is all they know." It said. "They feed off this shit?" Varric exclaimed. "Yes. And I do not wish to see my feast end." It said looking towards Hawke. "I can sense your desire to leave this place. There is a way out but you will need my aid to do so." It said stepping closer. "What are we going to do Hawke?" Varric asked the larger man. "I really don't condone with dealing with demons. Hawke no offense..." Anders said holding his staff in front of him. Fenris remained silent as he watched Hawke. Hawke's fist clenched as he rolled his shoulders. "Then let me give it my answer." He barked as he sent a fist into its face causing it to bust into pieces. It reassembled and was furious. "Foolish!" It yelled as it was connected with another left hook. "I faced demons worse than this." Hawke said with disappointment. "Let's get moving." He ordered and the others followed. They wondered further in and was attacked by more rock wraiths and shades. It was quite a lot of work. The three men following Hawke were grateful of the distraction. Hawke was focused more on killing the creatures than his was focused on them. Soon the majority of his rage was released as he downed multiple enemies. He gave a shudder as he smiled. His mind clearing more as he got his aggression out. The four of them continued their way down the tunnel. Searching for a way out. It was then they arrived to a large vault. "Look. If there were dwarves down here this would be the place they stored their treasure!" Varric said excitedly. Anders huffed. "Yeah if we can find a way out!" He whined. Fenris gave a sigh as he walked along side Varric. The three noticed Hawke stop suddenly. Then they too felt what Hawke just felt.

The ground began to shake violently. A sudden red light lit up the area behind them as they heard something akin to rocks grinding together. Some rocks in front of them levitated towards something behind them into a whirling mass. They four men turned around to see what was the cause. They looked up at the large profane creature. A giant ancient rock wraith. Varric swallowed deeply before speaking. "This doesn't look good..." He backed up into Anders. "What in Andraste's name is that?" Anders questioned holding tight to his staff. Fenris looked up at it and sighed. "Well. We're fucked." He announced reaching for his sword. Not entirely excited about this as Hawke appeared to be. "Now things just got entertaining!" He laughed pulling his axe free as the creature let out a loud roar as it finished forming.

With its roar it summoned multiple smaller ones of itself. Those small ones attacked first. They swarmed the group quickly. Anders and Varric had to rely on Hawke and Fenris to keep the creatures from getting too close as they attacked from a distance. Hawke directed his attention to the larger than life rock wraith and gave a smile. He made his way towards it as he swung his axe. Fenris turned to see Hawke attacking the larger one so he decided to fight along side Hawke. Varric and Anders attacked from a safe distance. The creature swung its arm down in an attempt to take out the two warriors fighting it up close. Hawke shoved Fenris out of the way and took the force of the hit. Leaving him staggered but he quickly recovered. Fenris gave a glance towards Hawke before redirecting his attention. The elf was focused on dealing damage while Hawke distracted the stone creature. With another hit the creature fell apart. Hawke took this opening to deal heavy damage to the creature. Fenris occupied himself by keeping the smaller ones off of Hawke. Varric and Anders worked together to eliminate the smaller ones as well. The monstrous creature roared out and reassembled. Though it acted strangely. it began to curl in on itself and rotated furiously. As the ancient profane rock wraith built up energy Hawke's eye widen. It was building energy for a devastating attack. "Get behind something!" Hawke yelled to his followers as the creatures curled up tightly letting out bright red lights that flashed ominously about it. Anders and Varric took off behind a pillar together. Fenris turned to join them but in a rush to get to safety he tripped up on one of the profane reforming. Fenris's sword skittered across the stone out of his reach. He braced himself for the blow he knew would come as the rock wraith swung itself at him. Hawke turned around with a growl of frustration as he bolted over to it and struck it down before it could do damage. Fenris glanced up at Hawke at that moment. Hawke threw a glance back at the giant wraith. Though there was no time to get him nor the elf to safety in time. He turned to the elf and swung his axe down into the dirt behind him. Fenris ducked his head waiting for the pulse of energy. Hawke bent down to shield the elf using his own body as a high powered red wave of energy blast itself across the entire room. Striking Hawke in his back as it shot pain throughout him. Fenris waited for the pain as well but saw that Hawke was guarding him and taking the full force of the attack. Blood was ripped about Hawke's body as the energy burned every part of his being. Hawke ground his teeth together and endured the pain. Fenris looked up in awe as he watched Hawke endure for the duration of the attack. He could not believe that the larger man protected him. The energy wave burned like liquid fire across Hawke's body. His hair blown to the front of him as it burned. The pain from the attack made Hawke's mind spin wildly. It was almost too much for him to bare. As the assault continued he started to lose consciousness. He forced himself to stay awake as the agonizing pain ran rampant through his body. At one point the pain faded and was replaced by a sweet ecstatic pleasure that surged through him. The pain no longer hurt as it morphed into a sick disturbing sensual pleasure that engulfed him. Just when he thought he was going to see a white light flash into his vision did the assault stop. Leaving him overly aroused. He was sure that if the attack would of lasted a bit longer he would of came undone. He never felt such a sense of ecstasy in all his life. It was truly mind numbing. He gave a low moan that he was sure that the elf heard. He began to drool as his body shook from the intense feeling. He stood shakily up on his feet and turned to face the rock wraith with a twisted smile on his face. He wrenched his axe from the stone floor and took off towards the thing. It began to reassemble as he leapt off the ground bringing the axe down upon it. It finally shattered apart and did not come back together. Hawke shuddered with delight as his body still sparked with the feeling. He gave a low groan as he held his eye closed. He was so tempted to bring himself to completion right there in front of the others as he ran his hand down the length of himself through his tight trousers. Though as the pleasure and pain faded. He had no desire to do such a lewd thing. Mainly due to the lack of blood covering his body. He forced his hand away from himself. He was actually thankful that his tunic was draped so far down the front of him. Though a part of him wanted to show the others what he was working with.

He pushed the thought aside as the other three walked up behind him. "Rock wraiths are supposed to be dwarven legends... They aren't suppose to be real!" Varric panted as he walked up behind Hawke. "It's real anymore." Hawke huffed trying to calm himself. "Damn Hawke, You're smoking..." Anders said pointing at Hawke's hair. Hawke huffed and whipped his hair about before fixing it back in place. Though he hated the fact that it burned. He was rather proud of his long hair. His cape even suffered being burned. Though it was still intact. "Wow Hawke. How can you even stand after that attack? That literally scorched the ground!" Varric said in surprise as he looked around. Fenris silently stared at Hawke's crotch before looking up to his face while trying desperately to hide a blush. Hawke looked at Fenris for a moment before he shrugged as he turned to walk towards the way they originally were going. Fenris shuddered and looked down. Hawke had saved him. He didn't even have to. Hawke would have been able to save himself. Though due to the knowledge that Hawke is near sighted. Hawke couldn't gauge the distance. Instead Hawke risked his own health to protect Fenris. Though what bothered Fenris was the fact that he saw Hawke's face turn from a deep frown to sheer bliss. The man drooled for Maker's sake! Also from where Fenris was on the ground he actually saw the excitement Hawke was feeling. Considering the blast caused Hawke's tunic to move out of the way. He had no idea Hawke wore something so tight fitted. What was even worse was Fenris couldn't get the image out of his head. The moans Hawke had let out as he withstood the pain. Almost like he enjoyed it. Fenris's face burned with the heavy blush on his face. He thanked the Maker it was dark in the tunnel. Other wise the others would have called him out on it. He swallowed and tried to force what he saw out of his mind. He failed miserably. He covered his mouth and closed his eyes. He silently wondered how large that man truly was. He blushed harder if possible as he shook his head furiously. Trying to rid himself of the thought. He looked up to see the others digging through gold piles and chests looking for a key that would open the door leading out. Fenris took a deep breath and stood straight. He needed to get his mind out of gutter. He silently cursed Isabela for this problem. He let out his held breath and walked forward. He needed to thank Hawke. Eventually after he got over being flustered as fuck.

* * *

A/N For those who have been reading this since it came out. I thank you. Though it will get more perverted and  
violently abusive as it goes on. If you like that sort of shit. by all means stay tuned. For there is more to come!  
Next few chapters we will see how the group fare on their way of getting out of the deep roads. I'm sure it won't end pretty.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 Wandering

(This chapter has a slash warning)

They had found the key that opened the door and they walked through the corridor. Varric was at the forefront. "Ah this should be the way out. If we're unlucky. It'll be a week." Varric said setting his hands on his sides. "And if we're lucky, Dwarf?" Hawke growled. "We stumble on Bartrand's corpse along the way and you can have at it." Varric stated evenly as he walked forward. Hawke for the first time ever, laughed at the joke. Varric had to do a double take at Hawke. Varric gave a smile as he looked back at the others. Fenris and Anders was also surprised. Varric concluded that if he made a sadistic joke he would get Hawke to laugh. They continued to walk till the battle they had finished earlier started to get to them. They were sore from fight. Hawke seemed to be affected more so than the others. They stopped for the night. Or at least it felt like night. The tunnel was hot and unbearable. It wasn't really making it easy to relax. The first part of the troubles the group would have was over. But they still had a long way to go to get out.

Varric huffed as he wiped his brow. "Maker... I don't know what's worse... Nearly getting killed by an ancient rock wraith or trying to endure this horrid heat!" Varric complained.

Hawke slid his eye over to focus on the dwarf. "How about the fact we have no fucking food, Dwarf." He growled.

"Hawke has a point, Varric..." Fenris sighed as he sat down beside Hawke. Hawke glared down at the elf.

"Well. One good thing is the fact I'm a mage." Anders said trying to sound useful.

"How are you being a mage a good thing?" Hawke and Fenris both said simultaneously. They looked at each other.

"Damn... You two are in sync with each other. When that happen?" Varric laughed a bit.

"Ugh. I make ice... Which can be made into water... So we don't die of thirst..." Anders droned as he stared at the two warriors.

"Great idea Blondie!" Varric said happily.

"So you really aren't a waste of space after all." Hawke growled as he leaned onto the stone wall.

Anders glared at Hawke. "Yeah... I try to contribute." Anders retorted.

"Ugh... Guys. Can we not be at each other's throats, please?" Varric asked looking between them.

"Depends if Hawke can stop being a damn dick to everyone." Anders hissed.

"I am what I am so fucking deal with it, mage." Hawke countered.

The two humans simply glared at each other. They continued till Anders felt a sick feeling crawling under his skin. The way Hawke looked at him changed. Hawke began to simply stare at the mage void of all emotion as Fenris pushed himself to sit against the stone wall Hawke was leaning on. Varric remained quiet as he began to caress his dear Bianca. They did not see how the look of Hawke's eye changed. Anders quickly looked away. Being unable to make eye contact with the larger human anymore. Hawke huffed a bit at the surrender. He let out a yawn as he growled lowly. Forcing his tiredness away. He continued to look at the mage. A mage... Just like his father... Hawke gave a deep snarl as he got off the wall and dropped to the stone ground as he crossed his long legs. He hunched over and dug his gauntleted fingers into the floor. Fenris leaned away from the larger man. Hawke was about foot from him. Fenris looked the human over. Something wasn't right. Then again nothing was ever right with Hawke. Fenris ran his hand over his neck. Something he had been doing a lot. He swallowed a bit as he let out a sigh. It was getting increasingly hot in the tunnel. Anders ended up passing out from the heat and exhaustion. Varric took off his coat to lay down. Setting Bianca on the coat before falling into an unrestful sleep. Leaving just the two warriors awake. Fenris remained silent and watched Hawke. Hawke began breathing in deeply before exhaling. It was like he was trying to meditate or something. Fenris looked away from Hawke and picked up his sword.

Fenris looked at his weapon and ran the tips of his metal clad fingers against the wearing edges. He sighed. His blade required maintenance. He flipped the sword over with one hand and began to pick at it. He was not even sure why he was focusing solely on the dulling blade. He continued to examine it before he reached into one of his pouches he carried. Pulling out a whetstone. He began to run it down the length of the sword. Hawke eyed the elf for a moment before his eye slid down to watch the elf attempt to sharpen such a pitiful blade. That blade would break soon. It was worn to a point of being brittle. He silently wondered if the elf knew of the blade's potential failure in the near future. That weapon would not protect the elf from him. Hawke smiled slightly at the thought of testing the elf's mettle. Though as Hawke stared at the smaller man. Hawke turned himself to stare more openly at the elf. That branded bastard was the only one that ever interested Hawke. Hawke stared intently at the smaller male. Who by this time was getting a bit flustered with the dull blade. The edge remained blunt despite the constant sharpening. Fenris's hair fell over his eyes. Fenris took notice of Hawke watching him. He remained silent. Though something bothered Fenris. He never thanked Hawke for shielding him from that rock wraith's energy blast. It brought a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach as he recalled what he saw. Remembering how Hawke's body reacted to the pain. Almost like it pleased him. The word 'Damaged' came to his mind. Hawke said no normal person takes pleasure in pain unless there was something wrong with them. Fenris closed his eyes at the words. His mouth set into a frown. He stood up quickly as he casted the dull blade down onto the ground. He kept his head low as he stormed off into a random direction away from the group. Hawke huffed at the elf's pitiful display of emotion. Hawke silently wondered what sort of emotion caused the elf to nearly cringe like that. Hawke eyed the sword on the ground before he reached out for it. Hawke gave it a contemplating stare before giving a growl. He stood up before he hurled the weapon into the red lit tunnel from whence they had came. He pulled free his axe. He reached up to the weapon harness and pulled free something smaller than the axe. A great sword that seemed more like a dagger to Hawke. He strapped the axe once again to the harness. He gave a glance at the other sleeping men as he walked to follow after the lyrium bound elf. Though looking at the mage and dwarf in their vulnerable state made Hawke's hands twitch. The simple though of having their blood on his tongue. He shook his head and held his eye closed till the hunger passed. He let out a frustrated growl as he turned quickly from them and made his way towards the elf.

Fenris was holding his head as he tried to force unwanted images from his mind. The pain he had felt being in that bastard mage's services. What that fucker did to him. If anyone was to blame for his perversions it was Danarius. Fenris shook as the memories of what that mage would do to him came into his head. He cringed as he let out a whimper. At the recollection. He pulled his arms close as he fisted his own hair. His body trembled as he slid down to the ground. The things he went through with that man was unbearable, demeaning, painful, and horrid. He always hated the pain that man had put him through. So why was he enjoying the unholy torture from Hawke? Hawke was just as sadistic as that magister. Though there was no blood magic that enticed the man. But there was blood. He was just as obsessed with blood as the mages of Tevinter. The more Fenris thought about it. The more he hated Hawke. He respected the man greatly it was true. Though that did not explain his insisted fascination with the hateful violent human. As Fenris continued to think on the matter the more he became disgusted with himself. Why was he allowing that man to use him. Was it because he didn't wish to die? Or was it deeper than that? Maybe there was a connection between them. Maybe Hawke could protect him again. Hawke already risked his own safety to protect him. So maybe... No. Hawke would want something in return for such things. If they were to encounter Danarius, if they ever got out of the Deep Roads that is. Would Hawke just simply hand him over in order to gain more power. Hawke was driven by power and the thought of one day ruling this city as his own was strong. Or what if Hawke got tired of him. What if he lost interest. What then? Would Hawke simply kill him once he was of no use? The questions and fears that were originally focused on his old master had turned to Hawke. Fenris shook his head almost violently as he tried to rid himself of these thoughts.

That's when he felt the ground tremble. Of course. It just had to be Hawke. That man terrorized even the ground with his sheer strength. Fenris quickly wrapped his arms around his own person and stared wide eyed at the ground. He heard what sounded like metal dragging against stone. Dear Maker. What did the man want? He heard a low guttural growl from the larger man. Something large and sharp was driven into the stone before him. Causing Fenris to jump backwards against Hawke's bulky frame as his marking lit up. His head colliding with the hard of Hawke's thigh as he stared at the large glittering great sword. Though... That wasn't the great sword he felt behind his head. The tips of his ears turned a scarlet color which threatened his face as his markings died down. So in an attempt to regain his composure he simply focused on the weapon in front of him and not the one pressed up against the back of his head. "Well. Touch it, Elf." Hawke growled with a purr. Fenris's face darkened as he coughed. Oh right. The actual sword. Not the other sword hidden behind the thick tunic. He slowly reached out and pulled the sword out of the stone floor and felt very awkward on his knees with Hawke's crotch behind his head. Fenris swallowed as he stood up before Hawke with his head low as he held the sword. "What do you think of it, Fenris..." Hawke breathed slowing into the elf's ear. Fenris shivered and Hawke gave a small smile. "It...Is a fine blade..." Fenris said slowly as he walked forward before turning to Hawke with his head down. "Thank you for showing me..." He said lowly as he offered the sword back to Hawke. Hawke huffed. "I hate twirling around a damn butter knife. You take it, after all. I did trash your other one." Hawke stated evenly. Fenris looked up at him then. "You're giving this to... Me?" Fenris questioned as he slowly calmed down. "That was what I just fucking said, Elf..." Hawke responded with a grunt. Fenris looked down back at the sword he held. It was better than his old one by a mile. It was sharp and light. Unlike that heavier one he carted around. He silently wondered where such a thing came from. It had a scarlet design to it. It was elegant and shined like a star even in the low dark light. Fenris held it close as he marveled at it. "It is a deep blood color. I originally picked it up to sell. But thought about keeping it for some odd reason. Though it isn't the only thing that looks good covered in blood and gore. Heh." Hawke seemed amused by his own comment. Fenris coughed as he recognized the flirty tone. "I... Thank you... For this... And. For earlier. You didn't need to protect me from that creature..." Fenris said slowly as he looked down. Hawke grunted in a response.

"If you were hit by that wave of energy. You would have passed the fuck out by the overwhelming pain that would have engulfed your body. I have already observed that those markings are sensitive to anything magic related. It would have burned till you went unconscious. It could also have potentially killed you. And I wouldn't want that yet..." He growled.

"... I suppose you're right. How did you manage to with stand that?" Fenris was just going to ignore the ending of Hawke's comment.

"It hurt like a motherfucker at first but then... Hahaha. It was sheer ecstasy." Hawke laughed darkly as his eye clouded over with some odd look that Fenris could probably place as lust.

"So your a masochist of some kind..." Fenris questioned turning his head from Hawke but still focusing on him.

"You could say I'm like you, Fenris." Hawke said with a smile.

"I'm not a masochist!" Fenris defended quickly.

"No need to get defensive, Elf. Everyone has their turn on. Ours is just the enjoyment of finding pleasure in pain." Hawke said as his sick smile came back.

"I already told you... I'm not like you..." Fenris's voice quivered as he looked to the ground.

"Well... We could find out right now." Hawke suggested as he stepped closer to the elf.

"What do you mean?" Fenris was slightly wary of Hawke now.

"I'll do something that is considered dark and sexual to you. You tell me if you enjoy it." He smiled showing off his unnaturally sharp teeth.

"What! No! Stay away from me, you sick filthy pervert!" Fenris growled as he pulled back from Hawke.

"Oh come on. It isn't like I'm going to rape you. Unless that is a fantasy of yours." Hawke smiled as he took a step.

"H-Hawke no!"

"Hawke yes." Hawke purred darkly as he got closer. Causing Fenris to back into a wall and drop the sword.

"Why am I always getting pinned between fucking walls!" Fenris yelled as he panicked.

"Would you feel better if I pinned you to the floor instead?"

"Fuck off!"

"Alright, Elf. That direction is off where I shall fuck." Hawke said with a laugh as he walked away from the elf.

Fenris let out a breath as he looked at Hawke. For some odd reason he was disappointed that Hawke didn't try anything. Fenris looked down and thought a while. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try? He secretly wished to feel Hawke's touch on his person again. Though he did not wish to admit such a thing to the larger man. He took another breath and bent down to pick up the sword Hawke had gave him. It really was impressive. Though Fenris was sure there was another sword hidden in plain sight that was much more impressive than this metal counterpart. Fenris realized his train of though and cursed at himself once again. Fenris huffed as he strapped the sword to the harness on his back. He really needed to keep his thoughts in check. He began walking back the way he came.

Fenris walked back to the group to notice Hawke hovering over Anders. A slight sting of jealousy hit Fenris then as he saw Hawke bare his teeth. His hands reaching out to take hold of the pasted out mage. His intent was clear. Fenris tried to remain silent but he couldn't push away the jealous feeling he had. Hawke was going to bite into Anders and drink his blood. Though he wished Hawke would just end the damn abomination's life. He watched as Hawke was just about to grab hold of the mage. Fenris just couldn't stand there and watch. He hurried over and stopped the dark haired human. "Wait!" He said loud enough for Hawke to hear. Hawke gave off a growl as he glared sharply at the elf. "I'm fucking hungry, Elf. What is it?" He snapped. Fenris took a breath. "Take me." Fenris stated. Hawke stared at Fenris. "I rather feed off of the mage right now. So back off." Hawke said back. He returned his gaze to the mage's throat. He snickered a bit at how easy this was going to be. The mage was out due to the fight earlier in the vault. The mage wouldn't even wake up. Though the elf persisted by getting between the sleeping mage and Hawke. Hawke gave a growl as he stood up. "Move, Elf." He growled. Fenris looked up at him. "Leave him alone and take me. I said." Fenris hissed. "Why. You care for this abomination?" Hawke asked with a snarl. "I don't. I just don't want to see you do that with anyone else." Fenris shot back. "So you do care about others..." Hawke said as if disappointed. "No. I just. I want be the one you bite into!" Fenris said as he stepped forward. "So you do enjoy it..." Hawke's sick smile returned as he looked the elf over. "... Yes...I... Do enjoy it..." Fenris forced himself to say honestly. He was ashamed of it really but he could not deny the feeling. Somehow. The pain Hawke inflicted excited him. Hawke approved of the elf's answer. "Well then. I suggest we step far away from these two." Hawke said with a twisted smirk. Fenris swallowed deeply and nodded as he began to blush.

The two of them walked away from both Varric and Anders. They made sure they were out of ear shot of the two men. The low light was good enough to add a bit of privacy. Mainly because Fenris did not wish for the others to know of this. It was a secret Fenris had a sick enjoyment in. Fenris turned to look at Hawke. He was given a moment to brace himself as Hawke shot his hand forward and latched onto him. "If you truly enjoy this. Then it is considered sexual. You do realize that, Fenris?" Hawke asked as he pulled the elf close to him. "I... am aware of that... Just don't try to undress me..." Fenris growled as if warning Hawke. "I will get you out of that spiky armor one day. Though I am content to dry hump the fuck out you for the time being." Hawke said as he licked his teeth. Fenris blushed. "I'd much rather you didn't try to penetrate me through my clothes..." Fenris spoke with a blush on his face. "Oh but that's what makes it fun!" Hawke laughed disturbingly as he turned Fenris around and pressed him against the stone. Fenris gave a slight whimper as he felt Hawke press against him. He felt his legs get moved apart by Hawke's. "W-what did I just say?" He growled back behind him. "Just shut up and take it, Elf." Hawke said as he undid a strap on the back of Fenris's armor. Fenris froze. "What! How did you know the back came undone?!" Fenris asked as he tried to pull away from Hawke. "I noticed it a while back. Now hush." He commanded as he moved the leather out of the way. He ran his tongue up the back of Fenris's shoulder and up the nap of his neck. Fenris shivered and held back a small groan. Fenris braced himself waiting for the pain that was to come. But he just kept feeling Hawke run his tongue across his markings. He hissed sharply at the pressure of the other man's tongue. He then felt Hawke run his hands across his waist as he was pulled closer. Hawke pressing himself further against Fenris's body. He then felt the pierce of his teeth. Fenris groaned as he clenched his teeth. Hawke bit down with caution. Making sure not to bite into the lyrium markings. He ran his tongue across the lines of blue as he bit deeper into the elf's shoulder. The urge to rip off a piece of the elf's flesh was near overwhelming. Though Hawke didn't wish to tear the branded bastard apart. Yet. He wanted to make the elf writhe in his grasp. Hawke had a wicked idea. The elf never said he could not touch him. He snaked one of his hands down the elf's waist and slid it to the front. He ran his hand down heavily across Fenris's crotch. The elf's reaction was priceless. He bit down harder getting the elf to moan and thrust into his hand. Hawke continued to rub against the elf. Fenris shuddered from the touch. "S-stop! D-don't touch me like t-that!" Fenris forced himself to say while he suppressed a moan. Hawke pulled his mouth away carefully as to not cause the elf to bleed heavily. "Just relax, Fenris." Hawke said lowly into the smaller man's ear. "T-this is wrong! S-stop!" Fenris said as he panicked. This was wrong. To be touched like this by another man was wrong. Though his body reacted differently due to the attention he was receiving below the waist. He let off a choked moan as Hawke continued at a slow pace. Feeling the elf get excited in the palm of his hand. Hawke gave a wicked smile as he licked at the wound he created. Fenris held his eyes closed as the pleasurable sensation went through him. He came to the realization that he rather enjoyed this. That deep down he wanted the larger man to continue this assault on his person. Though Fenris was not ready for something like this. It still felt horribly wrong for this to be happening. "H-hawke. Please. Stop..." He forced himself to say. He felt Hawke stop and pull away his hand. Leaving Fenris alone to finally catch his breath. The lick at the back of his shoulder was accompanied by a cold sensation. The pain and pleasure both faded from his body. Fenris's face was a deep scarlet. His breathing finally slowed as he felt Hawke pull away completely. He shivered from the loss of heat that Hawke's body generated. He felt his armor being fixed back to normal. He looked over his shoulder at Hawke. Hawke had a strange look of disgust on his face. Fenris wondered what was wrong. Why was Hawke looking at him like that? Hawke closed his eye and shook his head. It was almost like he knew why Fenris didn't want to continue. Hawke gave a yawn as he turned from the elf and walked away. Fenris turned around and leaned against the wall. He let out a sigh as he ran his hand over his shoulder. He shivered at the feeling. He hurriedly walked to catch up with Hawke. He focused on the ground as he tried to understand what that look was. "You have a choice in this, Fenris. I can see you aren't comfortable with what I did. So I'm not doing it again." Hawke droned lowly with a growl as if emphasizing the words. "I...uh...Thank you?" Fenris was slightly puzzled. Did Hawke mean he wouldn't touch him like that or was their only way of bonding over? Fenris wasn't entirely sure as he watched Hawke sit down and lay back. Fenris sat down close to him and laid down as well. Hawke gave a growl but allowed the elf to remain close to him as they both waited to fall asleep. Though Fenris still couldn't help but feel a bit alone.

* * *

A/n I love this ending to the chapter.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 Growing Unease

Hawke was the first to wake as a sharp agonizing pain shot through him. He sat up quickly as he clutched his stomach. He opened his eye and stared out into the ever preset darkness. He growled lightly as he sat there in silence. He felt a wetness drip down the right side of his face. He reached up and wiped at it. The dark red liquid was evident that his old wound was opening up again. He sighed as he looked over towards the others. The closer one being Fenris. He glared harshly down at the elf. Recalling what had happened hours ago. The elf was covering himself as he slept. Hawke looked away from the elf and got up. Walking a considerable distance away before sitting down with his legs crossing over each other. He quietly pawed at the metal eye patch as he shoved it aside. Running his fingers against the shallow hole there. He closed his good eye and just felt the strange cold feeling that lingered there. He pulled his hand away and fixed the metal patch back over his face. His attention was brought back to his stomach as a pain went through him again. He snarled lowly as he tried to force the hunger away. He sat there in silence as he tried to distract himself for the next few hours.

The rest awoke feeling sore from the day before. The three followers sat up to notice Hawke. Hawke was up and sitting in the middle of the tunnel with his legs crossed. It didn't appear like he slept any. Another thing that was evident was the blood seeping from under his eye patch. Varric walked over to the large man and tilted his head. "Hey... You alright Hawke?" He asked lightly. Hawke looked over to the other man. Hawke growled lowly as he stood up. "You're bleeding..." Varric said backing up to look at Hawke. Hawke licked his mouth where the blood was dripping down at. "I am aware..." He said as he began to walk off. Fenris and Anders looked at each other breifly before looking at Varric. The three watched as Hawke walked ahead. When they knew Hawke was far enough away. They began talking amoungst each other.

"So... Was I the only one that saw the blood?" Varric asked.

"No... I am pretty sure he wasn't struck in the face by that creature. Also there was no blood the entire walk from the vault." Anders stated.

"Then why is he bleeding?" Varric pondered aloud.

"Hawke normally takes the eye patch off and puts bandages over that side of his face." Fenris stated as he looked at Hawke. The other two looked at him.

"So he does take that head piece off. So. What's underneath it?" Varric asked making his way by Fenris. Anders merely looked at him.

"I am unsure. He never faces me when he changes it." Fenris said as he crossed his arms. A sudden chill running up his spine.

"I never seen Hawke do that." Varric said with a frown as he pondered.

"I haven't either." Anders spoke lowly as he looked after Hawke further ahead.

"He normally tends to it before he sleeps. Though considering where we are. I doubt he was prepared for your brother's betrayal..." Fenris told them. As he watched Hawke tilted his head.

"Yeah. That bothers me. Mainly because I haven't seen him swilling that drink of his the entire time we left the vault. Did he run out?" Varric started to worry as he watched Hawke.

"I don't feel comfortable around him... Normally that drink tempers him and he stays somewhat docile." Anders said holding onto his staff. The three men fell silent.

The three of them remained quiet as they walked to catch up with Hawke. Who seemed more distant than usual. He was oddly silent. Then again. He was always silent when he wasn't harassing people. Hawke ignored them as he gave a growl. He still was fine with the blood he drank but that was never enough. He hasn't eaten what atually fills him since they came down here on this venture upon the start. The fact that he broke a majority of his bottles while on the trek to that damned red glowing thaig. Made things worse. He hated being in caverns. It messed with his mind. His senses were hightened beyond normal. His lack of visual cues was starting to drive him mad. As there was nothing to distract him. He could barely see even a few feet in front of him in normal light. Though the darkness helped. He could smell the others. He could hear them. But he couldn't see them unless they were right in front of his face. He hated it so much. Though he was glad for the darkness that surrounded him like a thick blanket. It made it easier for him to see. Even if it was getting darker. Though he truely hated caves. He let out a growl as he kicked a rock. Listening to it roll its way further down the path. Though he was more intriuged by the fact that the others though he wasn't listening. The Bastard Elf seemed to know he was listening. Clever bastard. It truely impressed him that the elf was far superior in intellect than the other two.

The four men had walked for hours till it was time for them to rest. Hawke seemed to fidget in place as he glared in the direction of the others. Lightly growling as he winced. The further they walked the increasingly darker it became. Hawke's eye dialated fully to accomidate him in the dark. He could see the others struggling to see. The Mage gave a whine as he focused his energy into making light. Varric calmed down a bit as he scouted closer to the blonde mage. Fenris on the other hand refused to sit beside him and huffed indignantly as he tightened his arms around his chest. He seemed cold and tired. Due to Hawke. He sat down slowy on the ground and sighed. Hawke glared at the elf and gave a sick disgusted look at him. Fenris was taken aback by this. Hawke had never looked at him like that till last night. He then watched as Hawke's gaze slid over to the mage. He gave a sick smile as he made his way over to the mage. Hawke ignored the elf almost all together. Fenris growled. He watched as Hawke stood before Anders with that same sick smile. Anders looked up at him. "You need something?" Anders asked warily. "I wish to speak to you later after the others fall asleep. I have... A question, if you may?" He said lowly. Anders looked at him silently but slowly nodded.

Hawke turned to walk way but he stopped as he held his head suddenly letting out a low grunt of pain. The other two looked up at him. Hawke visably cringed as something flashed through his head. In a sudden fit of unpronounced rage he dug his clawed hands into his head. His eye widened as he let out a strange noise. "Hawke?" Fenris suddenly said as he shot up from the ground. Anders had flinched at the sound Hawke made. Varric got up and darted forward a bit towards him. Hawke bent forward as he fell to the ground in a fit of coughs. He felt sick as he felt his stomach tear itself apart. A splitting pain ran through him. He was getting hungry and his body demanded some form of sustenance. He was trying very hard to ingore the clawing in his stomach the other night. He wanted to tear into that elf last night. If he so wanted to. He could have killed Fenris the other night. But his mind had went south and it dominated his thoughts. Distracting him from seeing the elf as mere food. Now as his body wretched itself. His mind began to cloud with lust. His vison began to stain red. He looked at the other men. He could hear their heartbeat. The flow of their blood. It pounded its way into his mind causing it to spin. He began to drool heavily as he looked up at them from on his knees. He eyed the dwarf as Varric made his way towards him. Though Fenris recognized the look in Hawke's eye. "Varric get back!" Fenris shouted as Varric looked back. In that moment Hawke bounded off the ground and latched onto Varric. "SHIT! GET OFF ME HAWKE!" Varric shrieked as he began struggling. Hawke opened his mouth wide as his tongue lolled out. Forcing Varric into the ground using his crushing weight. In the tussle. Hawke had freed Bianca from her owner. Falling away from Varric as she was ripped from him. Hawke oddly enough set it aside with care. Though his main focus was trained on Varric. Varric was nearly shitting himself as he tried to muscle his way out of Hawke's vice like grip. It was no use. Considering Hawke was three times his size. Anders let loose a blast of ice magic straight into Hawke's face. It had no effect a it hit the right side of his face. Fenris gave a growl and took off running. He dipped down enough to square his shoulders as he plowed into Hawke with enough force that it staggered the larger man. Fenris took that small moment to lit up and phase his hand into Hawke's chest. He didn't wish to hurt Hawke. But it was all he could think of doing at the moment. His hand reached deep and curled around the larger man's heart. Appling pressure, Hawke's body jerked as he pulled away from Varric. Anders dragging Varric away. Hawke let out a pained growl as he latched onto the elf's neck with his own hand. The force caused Fenris to choke and let go briefly. It was enough for Hawke to pin him to the ground and tower over him. Holding his breath. Fenris reached to grab hold of the main organ once again. This time it had an affect on Hawke. It stopped him from moving. Hawke drooled as he let out a growl. His eye was wild. His hair fell away around either side of them both in a curtain of somber darkness. Hawke's eye stared direcly into his. And for a fleeting moment. It felt like they were alone. Caught up in some twisted sick sexual fantasy that had haunted Fenris's dreams since the day he met the man. Fenris couldn't help but smile as he felt the biting metal of Hawke's guantlet into his neck. "Ego coniecto ego sum similis tui..." He forced out as he took a breath. Hawke stopped growling and tilted his head. Appearently Hawke had never heard Tevene words before. In an attempt to distract the man long enough Fenris started to speak. "Ubi non ex odio, ibi est dolor." He said slowly as he gripped at Hawke's heart. Hawke loosened his hold slightly. Anders and Varrric were lost on what Fenris was saying. "Dic mihi, quid suus 'iniuriam. Quid metuis?" He asked. Hawke gave a growl as an image went through his mind. Fear. What was fear? He feared... His family... His mother... No he feared for them. But nothing else. He feared many... He only understood the last word that Fenris said. He finally let go of the elf. Anders and Varric stared wide eyed at this. The fuck was that elf saying?

After a while to make sure Hawke was pacified. He finally pulled his fist out of the larger man's chest. Hawke closed his eye and turned around to walk off after getting up. Fenris sat up as Varric ran to him after picking up Bianca. "What in the Void did you say to him? What was that shit about?" Varric questioned. Fenris looked over to him as he stood up. "I honestly had no idea he would respond like that to me talking in my native tongue." Fenris stated taking a breath. "Again. The hell did you say?" Varric pryied as he looked at the elf. "It is my business." Fenris said evenly. Before slowly saying this as he watched Hawke. "Hawke, odibilis erit nobiscum. Quod si permittis nobris..." Varric frowned. "The sodding hell does that mean, Broody?" He questioned squinting at the elf. Anders was standing behind him as he watched Hawke lean against a wall and begin to slam his head into it. "It means. Hawke is Hateful: he shall be with us. Would he tolerate us..." Fenris sighed. "I'm sorry but is that normal?" Anders asked pointing to Hawke. Fenris scoffed. "Yes. He is trying to distract himself. I would sleep with one eye open tonight." He stated lowly before walking away from the two blonde men.

"You know I don't mind sleeping by you now." Anders stated walking behind Fenris.

"Fuck off mage." Fenris shot back. "You could get killed by Hawke for all I care. I was more worried about Varric." Fenris growled.

"Aww. I can feel the love Broody!" Varric smiled as he walked by the elf.

"None of this would have happened. Had your brother not been a greedy little fucker..." Fenris fumed.

"Oh. You starting to sound like Hawke. Throwing that F word around like it's glitter!" Varric mused as he tried to forget what had just happened. Anders on the other hand was scared.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh what I am saying is you didn't start dropping the F word till you kept hearing Hawke say it. Even poor Daisy is saying it." Varric huffed.

"Hawke curses way too much. I swear a salior would cut off his own ears just so he wouldn't hear the vulgarity." Anders added.

"Any idea where we can find Sir Psycho Killer some food? I rather stay off the menu." Varric shuddered as he hung back by the two larger men.

"Good luck with that Varric." Fenris once again crossed his arms. He still felt weak. Considering Hawke started moving again. The group would not get to sleep this night. Which ment Fenris was going to feel worse by the time they do stop for a break.

"I suddenly don't want to see what Hawke wants to tell me once you guys are asleep." Anders whined.

Fenris huffed as he walked away from them to catch up with Hawke. Curious on the man's mental standing.

They had walked for the rest of the assumed night and Hawke seemed overly quiet. They had stopped finally as Hawke dropped to the ground heavily. Fenris walked to stand infront of him. The other two stayed far away from him. Though Fenris was sure the other two men thought he was just as insane as Hawke. Why else was he standing right in front of a psychopath like it was the most common thing in Thedas? Still. Hawke continued to ignore the elf. Fenris didn't like this at all. Hawke refused to acknowledge his presence. Fenris gave a growl. "Cur vos ignorare me?" He hissed at the larger man. Hawke huffed as he held his eye closed. His teeth were ground shut. Slight blood dripped from his mouth. Though it mattered not due to the heavy bleeding from under his eye patch. Fenris uncrossed his arms as he saw a faint hint of something cross the larger man's features. He knew Hawke would not answer him. But if he asked in Tevene. Hawke might just look at him. "Hawke, quid suus 'iniuriam? Esne saucius?" Fenris said lowly. Hawke gave a growl but refused to meet the elf's gaze. Fenris huffed as he sat down in front of Hawke. He was the only one willing to be this close to him. Varric and Anders did not wish to be in radius of his large hands. Or his mouth for that matter. They didn't like the idea of what Hawke was. Varric tried to cope. But it was not enough to make him comfortable with Hawke. Especially now. Stuck down here in the dark. The heat of the cavern began to drop. It was bearable. Though it was starting to get a bit colder. Meaning they had walked a fair distance from the lava surrounded thaig.

The group finally fell asleep and soon hours passed. Hawke tossed and turned as he let off a growl in his sleep. Flashes of a red stained stone floor. A body torn apart before him. He stood over it with trembling hands. The magic was dead. Just as the man's eyes. Hawke gave a supressed yell as he sat up. Breathing heavily. He hated caverns. It kept reminding him of this memory over and over. He tried to breath but felt like he was choking. He turned off his back to get up. Both blood and tears running down his face. He shook his head vehemently as he held his head. His vision blurry as he forces himself to keep his emotions in check. He closed it for a a while as he breathed. He opened his eye and glared at the Elf. He needed a distraction. Any kind but as he looked at Fenris's sleeping form he growled. That elf was beautiful as he slept. Fenris was sleeping a short ways off. Hawke gave a growl. At that moment Hawke wanted to end that elf. It took a lot out of him to not kill the branded bastard. He sighed lowly as he turned from the elf. Maybe if he just ignored the elf his Void be damned 'feelings' would go away. Not only did he have feelings for the elf. But he was getting use to the dwarf and mage's presence. It made him mad. He wanted nothing to do with them. Yet. Their well being was a horrid concern to him. He growled again as he got up. He pulled at his eye patch till it came off. Blood spilt to the ground. He breathed heavily as he tried to wipe it away. He huffed as he threw the head gear harshly to the ground behind him. It clattered across the stone and rested beside Fenris. Though the elf was a light sleeper and this small disturbance woke him. He sat up and looked behind him to see the twisted headgear. Fenris gave a groan. Surely Hawke would be tired. Though it didn't seem like it. Fenris gave a wary glance towards Hawke. He watched as Hawke took his gauntlets off. Hawke pulled a red fabric out from his pocket and pressed it against his face. Fenris looked back down at the eye patch. However to him it looked more like a demonic crown of sorts. He looked back up at Hawke. The large man was on his knees now. Fenris sat quietly as he watched him. The large man seems pained by something. Fenris sighed as he wrapped his arms about himself. He silently wished Hawke would talk to him. He contemplated on whether or not he should try to comfort the man. He got up as he took the head piece with him and walked over to Hawke. The slick substance on the twisted metal stained the elf's hand red. Fenris stood behind the man. Even if Hawke was on his knees he was still so much taller. He swallowed as he walked to sit down right against the larger man. He felt Hawke tense.

"I.. Assume it is hard for you to control yourself... I can not say what it is you go through. I do know however. What it is like to be forced to do things you do not wish to do. Also what it feels like to be dominated by something you can't control." Fenris said lowly.  
Hawke held his breath before releasing it. "My control is slipping... My hunger will soon be the death of you people. If I were you. I would chose a god and pray." Hawke warned.  
"Is there no way you can control this? You are strong enough..." Fenris spoke looking up to him. Hawke's hair was covering his face. Fenris could not see the man's eye.  
"I have been trying to control it since we started this wretched Expedition."  
"Can blood not hold you over till we find a way out?"  
"Blood alone can not sate my hunger..."  
"So... You really are a cannibal then?"  
Hawke remained quiet as he shuddered. "Yes..."  
"I see. I am...I Uh...Am.. Glad you are not ignoring me now."  
"I chose to ignore you because you have no interest in men."  
"I- That's not-"  
"The way you covered yourself after what I did. What you said. And how you carried yourself after proves it."  
"I was uncomfortable with what you did... I-"  
"I. Am. Sor- Grr. Regretful of what I did. Though I will not do such things towards you ever again. You are of no interest to me any longer."  
Fenris cringed. He was of no interest anymore? That was what he wanted. Right? He spoke up. "Does that mean you will have no need of me?"  
"Correct. Our arrangement is over. Though with any luck I can convince the mage."

Fenris looked at Hawke in slight disbelief. Fenris hated to admit he wished for Hawke to continue using him. Then he inwardly growled at the thought of Hawke chosing the abomination over him. Wait. This was what he wanted right? He wanted Hawke to stop. He should be relieved that he held no interest to the larger man. Though he wasn't relieved. He felt distressed. In a sense. Part of him wanted it to continue. What now? Fenris sat in the growning silence around him as Hawke stood up. He held fast to the head peice in his hand. Refusing to let Hawke have it back. Expecting the man to reach for it. Though Hawke made no move to take it. He simply walked further away from the group and laided down. Fenris looked after him. There was a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He casted his eyes to the ground. He got up and walked back to the others. Giving a glance over to Hawke, who faced away from them. Fenris sat down near Varric. Still clutching the twisted metal in his hands. The uneasy hollow feeling deep inside him caused him to whimper. He took a breath and let it out as he forced himself to stop thinking of Hawke. This was for the better. After all. As soon as they make their way out of this Maker forsaken hole in the ground. He needed to move on. If he could leave willingly that is. He glanced back at Hawke and frowned. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave Hawke. Hawke. He was the reason why Fenris wished to go into the Deep Roads. He was the reason why Fenris wanted to stay even after they make it out of here. Lowly Fenris spoke in his native tongue. "Ego vis sequar vos. Quocumque perrexeris, Hawke. Ego sequar vos." He closed his eyes and gave a low sigh as he tried to sleep. Running his fingers over the inside of the patch. He stirred slight as he cracked his eyes open to peer at something on the inside of the eye patch. Fenris felt weird. He looked at the others. If they saw him holding on to the bloody crown he was holding they would think him strange. He pushed the thought aside as he focus on trying to see what it was on the inside of the metal. He rubbed the blood off of it and noticed it was a stone of some sort. It was smooth and glossy. It was a rune of some sort. He looked closer but could not figure out the design of it. He was not sure of what kind it was. He sighed as he set the crown down in his lap. What was the point of trying to figure it out anyway? It was most likely a rune of protection. Or something of the sort. He sighed and leaned against the rock behind him and closed his eyes once more. Soon he started to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Latin translation

Ego coniecto ego sum similis tui... - I guess I am like you...

Ubi non ex odio, ibi est dolor.- Where there is hatred, there is pain.

Dic mihi, quid suus 'iniuriam. Quid metuis? - Tell me, what's wrong. What do you fear?

Hawke, odibilis erit nobiscum. Quod si permittis nobis. Hawke is Hateful: he shall be with us. Would he tolerate us.

Cur vos ignorare me? - Why do you ignore me?

Hawke, quid suus 'iniuriam? Esne saucius? - Hawke, what's wrong? Are you hurt?

 _A/N I enjoy this chapter. it gives a bit of incite to Hawke's thinking. The next chapter will be a bit more in depth of his mindset_

 _Also if you can guess what the last thing Fenris said you get a cookie!_


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 Primal Thoughts

A/n This chapter focuses on Hawke's thoughts. An in depth look into his mind. Hawke's dream and thoughts are in _italics.  
_ This might be disturbing to some readers due to Hawke's mindset. I guess a warning for inner turmoil.

* * *

 _The cavern opening was cold and swamped in darkness. He looked to his father as if asking. Why were they here? His father turned and smiled. "Before we move to Lothering. We have to get the lock box." Malcolm said looking at his son. Jake growled a bit. "Father I threw that away because I don't want nothing to do with it!" He said with agitation. Malcolm sighed. "Listen son. You can't put your feelings into a corner and never feel them again. That box has everything of when you were a child. Do you truly not want it back?" He asked lowly to his son. Jake was silent. Looking down to the ground before looking back to his father. "Alright..." With a smile his father walked with him into the cavern. The scene fades out as a new one takes it's place. Another dream... It begins to grow hot yet strangely the heat was cold like a stone. It made no sense as Jake shook his head and looked at his father. They were far into the cavern. They were close to the lock box Jake had hid. Though as they walked. They fell upon smugglers. The group turned to them and drew weapons. The scene before Jake changes suddenly. He seen this scene way too many times for it to be a mistake. He had defended his father from the smugglers but his father was bleeding. Heavily to be accurate. Jake had turned to his father. His vision hazy with a dark red hue. The blood he could smell made him hungry. He glared down at his Father. Malcolm looked his son in the eye and knew his mind was gone. The battle took too long. His son's mind was unraveling. Once again. He felt for his boy. Malcolm stood up and walked to his son. "I am not going to fight you, Son. I wish I could of done better for you..." He said with a cough. The red liquid dripping from his busted mouth. Though his words might have never been said for his son did not hear them. Jake lunged at his father with his mouth open wide. Malcolm closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you, Son."_

Hawke awoke with a start. He shot off the ground so fast that his head spun. The dream thankfully stopped before it got to the memory that he has been haunted with for four years now. His chest was tight as he sharply inhaled. The cold dusty air choked him once again. He braces himself against the stone wall as tears start to fall. The tears mixed with the remnants of dried blood upon his face. Turning a slight dull red color. He felt sick. The urge to throw up was near overwhelming. _'Father... I'm sorry...'_ He hated that memory. It filled him with such remorse. It haunted him every time he went into a cavern. He reached up to hold his head. Realizing his eye patch and gauntlets were gone. Where did he set them? It was enough to distract him from the memory. He sighed heavily as he wiped the tears away. He remained quiet as he looked around. His body ached. The hunger rising back up again. He clutched his stomach as a sharp pain shot through him anew. He gave a groan as it caused him to double over. _'They still slumber... I can hear it... I want...'_ He let out a snarl as he shook his head. He stood up and took a deep breath. Holding it for a few moments before letting it out. He leaned against the cold stone. It differed from the humid heat of the tunnel. He recalled that he nearly killed the dwarf several hours ago. How that elf acted to defend the dwarf. _'Such a wonderful feeling. The closest I have ever been to death. To feel its cold embrace. If only he had went through with it. He could have killed me... Why didn't he?'_ Hawke thought as he tried to understand this. _'Such weakness. Why did he allow me to live? He should have ripped my heart out when he had the chance.'_ Hawke looked back over his should towards the others. A cold chill ran up his spine as it spread through his entire being. He worried for them... Worried. About what he would do to them should his hunger become too great. His mind slowly drifted from them to his mother and sister. _'If I don't get out of here... What would become of the rest of my family... Mother... Would be heartbroken. My sister...Sweet little Bethany taken into the circle... Mother would be alone. Living with that wretch of an uncle, Gamlen. She deserves better... All the hell she's been through. She. Deserves. BETTER. Everything I've done to make her happy. For nothing... All because of this FUCKING Expedition! Mother... I'm so sorry...'_ He thought to himself in the growing silence that would threaten him. Hiding his face beneath somber dark locks. A frown set firmly in place upon his face. He will not let his hunger get the best of him. He will endure this. Void be damned. He inhaled sharply as he heard movement behind him. The hunger rising in the pit of his stomach once again. He let out a pained groan before bringing his hand to his mouth. Biting down with enough force to cause his hand to bleed. He increased the pressure causing his hand to ache. He will not sub come to his madness like he did four years ago. There will be no repeat. Killing a stranger to feed off of was one thing. But killing someone he knew... Some one. He had begun to grow fond of... Was a whole other matter. These strays that attached themselves to him. Were starting to mean something. He hated it. He hated the thought of letting them claw their way into his life. Hated... The fact he did nothing to stop it. Such weakness. What was the point of wanting companionship? When the other person wanted nothing to do with it? _'That Bastard Elf... I should of known. That he would be nothing like me in such a way. But... I so wanted to believe. That there was some one just like me. Some one. Who knows what it is like to_ _suffer_ _. To know pain and find pleasure in it... I thought... He was like... Me... I opened up to him... I started to believe... There was hope for me. But I was wrong.'_ Hawke sighed heavily as he swallowed. His chest tight with emotion. He took another ragged breath and let it out. He needed to get rid of these feelings. He needed to be alone. It would be only way. The others would be safe. Once they leave this place. They need to leave him alone. Alone. Like he has always been. For so long.

Hawke heard the others stir more. They were waking up. He forced his emotions in check. They need not see him like this. He pulled free his hand from his mouth and let his blood drip onto the stone beneath him. His hand twitched as the wound began to heal. He look sullenly down at it. Sometimes. He wishes he wasn't cursed with such powers. The whole reason for him being like this. A monster. A beast. A mindless killer. His dark blue eye was nearly black as he watched his hand heal. Oh how cruel fate was. He so desperately wanted to be normal. He wanted nothing more than to be the son his mother wanted him to be. A sweet little boy who loved everyone and everything. But no. He just had to be this thing... Sometimes. He wishes. He wasn't alive. Sometimes he wished death would just take him. To feel the sweet release. He shuddered at the thought. It calmed him. To know that such darkness comforted him. It was where he belonged anyway. His attention was brought from his musings. He heard some one walk up to stand behind him. Judging by the steps. It was the elf... "Hawke..." Fenris said. Oh how he wanted Fenris to just go away. And leave him alone. _'It is all his fault for how I feel... I hate him. I fucking hate him to death... I want him to die slowly... I want to see the life fade from his eyes as I tear him apart. Just go away... Before I kill you... I wish you weren't beautiful. I wish I never met you... JUST. GO. AWAY.'_ Hawke let out a shaky breath as he turned towards the smaller man. _'So small, delicate, and elegant... Yet such power hidden beneath that frame. I want to break you...'_ Hawke pushed his thoughts away before answering. "What is it?" He snarled. Fenris looked off to the side before looking Hawke in the eye. He held up the twisted metal eye patch. "I... Believe this is yours." He said slowly. Hawke eyed the headgear before snatching it from the elf. Fenris didn't move. Hawke glared down at him before turning away. Moving his hair to affix the patch. He sighed lowly as the pain from his old wound faded. The rune on the inside settled back into its place. Now all Hawke needed to do was to put his gauntlets back on. He moved from the stone and avoided looking at the elf. Focusing his gaze upon the floor of the tunnel. He reached were he had discarded his vambraces and plated gauntlets. He put them on and slowly breathed out. He turned and began to walk forward. Hearing the mage and the dwarf walking behind him. Though judging from their steps. They remained a safe distance away. Though he could hear the elf walking much closer than the other two. Hawke gave a low growl as he tried to ignore the smaller male. That elf was walking within striking distance. Hawke did his best to ignore him. Focusing solely on walking forward.

It felt like hours had past. They had managed to walk a fair distance. Hawke could hear the mage and dwarf talking. Yet he cared not for what they were saying. He simply ignored them as best he could. Another night or day was going to be spent down in this pit. He sat down heavily onto the ground and sighed. He listened to the others lay down. All expect for one. Who sat down close by. _'Fucking elf. Leave me be already. Why do you insist on being near me when you do not feel for me? I am not your fucking friend... All I wanted was companionship... But like always. It made me weak. Leave me alone and go die in corner or something... I don't need you. I will never need you. Why... Won't you leave me alone? You rejected me. My advances. I thought you to be like me. But I was wrong. You are nothing like me. You will never be like me. No one understands... Every time they find out about what I am. They leave. You lot will leave me too. Just like all the others. Once we are out this place. You too will leave me. I will be alone. Like always. But I guess. It makes no difference. That is just how my life will be. To think I felt such a strange emotion for you. That useless feeling. It drew me in to you. That pathetic emotion. I never felt such a thing before. Not with a living person at least. It was always someone dead. The way their mangled body moved to my will. Never refusing me. Doing whatever I wanted. Why did I want this with a living person? You were perfect but now... I just want you dead. Then maybe... We could be together. I could have you to myself. Bend you to my will. Take you however I want. But... I wanted you to be alive to experience my pleasure... But you refuse. You physically refused. The way you reacted... You are not like me. You loathe the company of other men. I know it. I will never force myself on a living person without consent. But a corpse. Will always consent...'_ Hawke's thoughts were shattered as the elf spoke up. Hawke focused his gaze on the smaller man beside him. Watching the elf's mouth as it moved. "So... Um. Are you feeling better? You have been quiet the entire time. Hawke." The elf asked. Hawke remained silent as he shrugged away his thoughts. Not directly answering the elf. Fenris looked to the ground between them. "If you wish. You could talk to me..." Fenris suggested. Hawke growled lowly. Getting annoyed by the elf's presence. _'Now you wish for my company? You truly are pathetic, Elf. Just be gone from my sight before I hurt you.'_ Hawke glared at the elf as he spoke. "I do not wish to talk to you, Elf. If I were you. I would sit with the others and hope to whatever deity may exist that you survive this venture. For I am growing restless. It will not be long before my mind snaps." Hawke warned. His annoyance growing. The elf shuddered as he swallowed. His eyes wide as he stared at Hawke.

"I... We will be fine... I... You are strong enough to over come this. I know you are, Hawke." Fenris stated.

Hawke growled dangerously. "You do not fucking know me, Elf."

"I know enough about you to feel... S-saf-" Fenris took a deep breath. "To feel at ease around you..."

"Well then you're fucked. I am more a threat to you lot than you give credit for."

"Look. I don't approve of the things you do... But I respect you too much to refuse. Not many people have my respect. You would be the first."

"That does not mean you are safe from me."

"Gah. That is only the reason I allowed you to do the things you've done to me!" Fenris snapped.

"It does not matter. You were afraid. You did what anyone would do to live." Hawke scoffed.

"I... That's not..."

"Admit it, Elf. You only entertained me because you were afraid."

"Alright! I was afraid... At first... But... I got over it."

"Right..."

"Look, Hawke. I..." Fenris was cut off as Hawke stood up and walked away.

"We are done with this conversation. I do not want to hear you prattle on." Hawke stormed away from him.

"Please... Hawke... I just wanted to explain myself..." Fenris whispered to himself as he looked at the ground. Bringing his arms across himself once again.

Hawke refused to hear him. He didn't want to hear what Fenris had to say. His annoyance began to boil into a rage. He refuses to listen to Fenris. He didn't want to hear excuses. He just wanted to be left alone. He continued to walk briskly away from the elf and the others. His body shuddered as he tried to hold back his growing hatred for the other man. _'Why did I allow myself to become attached to him? I hate him. I fucking hate him! I never had to deal with this fucking shit before!'_ Hawke growled to himself as he stopped beside a stone column and slammed his fist into it. Rage. Anger. Those feeling he knew all too well. He rather those feeling than anything else. He ground his teeth together as his tongue pressed at the inside of them. With his rage. His hunger came back. He pulled his vambrace and gauntlet off quickly. In the same moment he bit sharply into his arm. Sinking his teeth into his own flesh. He slid down the column as he swallowed his own blood. Biting harder as he reveled in the pain. Gnawing at his arm as he forced himself to calm down. Pulling back as the blood dripped from his mouth and arm to spatter onto the solid ground. He closed his eye tightly as he breathed out heavily. The crimson liquid flowed out of his mouth down into his beard as he shuddered. The gaping wound on his arm was raw. A sharp contrast to his pale skin. It stained easily with the vital fluid leaking across it to fall to the ground. Tears began to well up in his eye again. _'I'm trying Mother... I am trying not hurt them... Like you asked... I am trying to resist... It's so hard... It hurts so much... I don't like this pain Mother... But I want you to be proud of me. I don't want to be a disappointment to you... Like I did when I killed him...You never gave up on me. Even after what I did...To... Father... You never gave up on me... I want to prove... That I can control this... I want you to be proud Mother... I want to prove to you that I'm not a lost cause... That everything you done for me wasn't a waste. Mother... Please pray to your Maker... To give me strength. I know he would never listen to me... He forsaken me long ago. But he smiles on you like the sun... Just like Father... I don't want your kindness and love to be a mistake...'_ Hawke choked on the cry that bubbled its way to his throat. He swallowed it back as his body gave a jerk. His body trembled with the emotion he refused to let surface. He was afraid... As much as he enjoyed torturing others. He hated himself more than anything and anyone. He hated what he was. He was afraid of what he was. It scared him just as much as it excited him. He didn't want this affliction. He never wanted this. Being unable to control his desires and lust for blood. He strained so hard to keep control on daily basis. It made him tired. The screaming in the back his of mind. The need to bathe in another's blood. It called to him like a wanton lover. _'I just want to kill them. Bleed them dry. They are so close. They are weak against me. I could easily lead each one far enough away to end their miserable life. It would be fun. A nice challenge... The elf would prove to be exciting. The dwarf... Too easy. That mage could put up a small fight with his cursed magic. If I am going to do this... I need to separate them. They have watched the way I fight. They would know... ...What am saying? I promised Mother... I can't but I want to so fucking bad to end them! No... I can't let Mother down.'_ Hawke shook his head furiously.

Hawke recalled the promise he had made to his mother. The day before him and the others left Hightown. He remembered he had bitten into the elf for the first time. He had then left to meet with his mother. "Promise me." She had said. "That you will not hurt them. I know you can do this, Baby. You are not the monster you think you are. You're my sweet little baby boy. I believe in you. I know you can control it." She had said as she held each side of his face in her hands. She always preferred to look at him with out the metal patch. She would always move his hair out of the way to look at him. She always tended to the wound there. Hawke shook his head. He missed her touch. Aways soft and soothing. Even after everything he went through for the day. She would sit him down and care for him. She made a habit out of it. Hawke let out a shaky breath. He missed his Mother. He worried for her. He has been gone for far too long. His mother knew just what to say and do to calm his mind. To show him everything was alright. She encouraged him to do his best. He was a grown man. Yet he still enjoyed every moment he spent with his mother. Knowing that someone looked past what he was. He soon started to think of his little sister. Bethany. She was so sweet and kind. She too believed in him. The only two people he would ever allow to touch him in such a familiar way. _'I need to get out of here... I have to get back to them. The templars will surely take my sister because I'm not there...I don't want them touching my sister... If they harm her. I will kill them...'_ Hawke let out a slow breath as he forced himself to calm down. Thinking of his Mother and Sister seemed to help subside his hunger for now.

He then became aware that he was being watched. He had let his mind dominate him to a point where he forgot to control his body. He felt the elf's emerald eyes upon his back. He sighed heavily before speaking. "You are starting to piss me off, Elf..." Fenris remained quiet as he stood behind Hawke's slouched form. Hawke turned his head slightly towards the elf. Fenris fidgeted in place as he looked down to his feet. "I am unable to sleep. You seemed troubled... So... I..." Fenris trailed off as he looked to the side. "I don't need your fucking concern, Elf." Hawke growled. "I am aware. But... I don't care. I am going to remain here. Whether you like it. Or not." Fenris stated standing up straighter. Hawke rolled his eye.

"I am really close to murdering you..."

"I am well aware of your capability to kill me, Hawke."

"Then why don't you leave me the fuck alone?"

"I...Thought you would wish to talk... Besides. You left before I could explain myself..."

"I don't want to fucking hear it, Elf..."

"I see..." Fenris decided that maybe he should save that for another time. Instead He was simply going to talk. "Look. I respect you, Hawke."

"So you have said..."

"I also told you that I do not approve of many things you do..."

"Mhm..."

"Though... I still wish to be your friend. You would be my first..."

"I am not easy to befriend..." Hawke huffed.

"And I do not trust many people to be near me... Nor touch me..." Fenris stressed.

"You don't trust me. You should never trust me... I just might get you killed."

"I do not doubt it. Yet you are stronger than I am. I might have need of you. Should we escape this tomb of a cavern."

"I knew you wanted something from me." Hawke growled.

"You know what I am talking about, Hawke..." Fenris said as he knelt down beside Hawke.

"Of course. Your old master. Danarius..."

"Yes... I haven't been able to sleep properly... I have nightmares... Concerning him... I have also noticed you toss and turn. So I can safely assume you suffer from nightmares as well?"

"You are one clever bastard. Aren't you, Elf?"

"I merely observed. I am quite capable of assessing something. Or someone..."

"Then I assume you can assess to get the fuck away from me before I tear you apart..." Hawke growled.

"I will heed your warning." He said as he stood up. "Just. Try not to murder us in our sleep. Alright, Hawke?" He said as he walked off.

Hawke merely snorted as he turned and leaned his back against the column. He watched as the elf laid down a fair distance from the other two men. _'That elf will never cease to amaze me... Who in their right mind would wish to be my friend? ... Wait... Did he say he trusted me? No. It can't be. He is just trying to weasel his way to getting free protection. Though something he said... Bothers me...'_ Hawke shook his head and closed his eye as he tried to sleep. Hoping he would not fall into another nightmare produced by the Fade. Though something in his mind stirred concerning the elf. He growled as he pushed the thought aside. Though he couldn't help but think. _'Maybe... Just maybe...'_

* * *

 _A/n I enjoyed writing this. It was a challenge in itself to represent this Hawke accurately. His mind is a bit fucked up and changes a lot. If you haven't figured it out already._ _Trying to give insight to a mentally disturbed person's mind was difficult. Anyway leave a comment on what you think.  
It just gets worse for Hawke after this._


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25 Growing Concern

 _A/N This focuses on Varric._

* * *

Varric awoke with a pained stretch. Holding Bianca close he sat up. His stomach hurt from the lack of food. At least they had water thanks to Anders. Varric wiped his forhead of sweat and dirt. He looked up to see Fenris sitting against the wall. He was looking at Hawke. Varric looked over to the large man. Hawke was wide awake and had his hand in front of his mouth. His arms crossed oddly. Varric looked back at Fenris. He felt like something was off about the two warriors. Varric ran his over his face. Giving a sigh as he moved to stand. Putting Bianca up safely in her harness. Varric walked over to Fenris and sat down. "Hey. You okay Fenris?" He asked lightly. Fenris tilted his head toward Varric and simply stared. Fenris looked beyond tired. Seems like he wasn't sleeping well. "I... am tired, Varric. Also being hungry is taking a bit of a toil..." The elf answered finally. Varric nodded as he understood. "Yeah.. I'm starving. And I am sure Anders and Hawke are as well. Blondie is holding out. Seems he is use to this sort of stuff." Varric said slowly as he recalled the conversation he had hours ago. Fenris scoffed at having to hear about Anders. Varric huffed. "Well then. How is Hawke holding up? You seem to be talking to him through out this whole venture." Varric asked. Fenris gave a slight growl before responding. "You can clearly ask him yourself." Varric frowned. He checked his coat pocket for something making sure they were still there. Fenris noticed. "You still have those vials?" Fenris asked with a raised brow. Varric shrugged. "Well when the guy looks at you like you're a prime cut steak. Best to be safe than sorry. Though he seems to be ugh... What's the word? Hmmm. Anyway. I mean he hasn't said shit to anyone for a whole day. Well anyone but you." Varric mused as he spared the elf a look. Fenris huffed and looked away. Varric sighed as he got up. He looked back to Anders who was still asleep. Varric glanced back at Fenris. The elf was silently watching him from under the fringe his hair. Varric looked toward Hawke and began to make his way over to the human.

As he got closer he noticed that Hawke was more pale than usual. His eye was slightly red. His body was twitching some what violently. There was dried blood on his face. It was even on his arm which was bare. Even his other arm was bare. The man's hair was a tangled mess. Hawke didn't really look like himself in that moment. He looked much older than he was in the low light. Varric slowly walked up to Hawke. "Hey... You alright Hawke?" He asked. The other man remained quiet. In fact. It was like Hawke couldn't hear him. Varric tilted his head to the side. He spoke louder. "Hawke. Are you-" He was cut off when he saw Hawke move his hand. Blood ran down towards his wrist as it fell from his mouth. Varric swallowed as he backed up. Hawke simply looked past him as he stood up. Varric looked up as he saw Hawke let out a low breath. His dark blue eye slowly trianed itself on Varric. Varric was stunned. He swallowed once more before trying to laugh it off. "That... Looks unhealthy..." He said backing up more. Hawke was deadly silent. He watched as Hawke bared his bloody teeth. The larger man let out a snarl as if some thought just pissed him off. He turned from the dwarf and walked off. Varric shuddered. Though he took note that Hawke had his vambraces and guantlets hooked to the red strap on his back. Varric stood there quietly as he breathed deep. He would really be glad to get out of this place sooner rather than later.

Varric turned to see that Anders was up. Fenris was glaring darkly at the mage. Appearently Anders said something to upset the elf. Though their little spat was quickly resolved when they had heard Hawke moments ago. Anders was standing up without the use of his staff this time around. Maybe the blonde mage was finally feeling better. Even so. Anders still looked horrible. Same as Fenris. Hell. Varric himself probably looked like shit. He took a book out of his pack and began writting down another entry. From what he gathered. They were stuck down there for almost five days. He stopped writing and closed his eyes. He silently wondered if they would ever get out. He held his stomach as a slight pain went through him. He sighed sadly as he closed the book. He then felt a heavy hand on his shoulder then. He looked up to tell the others that he was fine. But he saw Anders and Fenris standing in front of him a short way aways. Anders looked worried as he stared at the person behind Varric. Fenris stood there quietly. Varric looked at the side where the hand was. It was covered in blood. Hawke. He slowly looked up at the man that was towering over him. Hawke stared down at him for a while. His body twitched as he growled. Varric stood perfectly still as he felt Hawke's hand around one of his. Feeling his hand being turned over palm up. He watched as Hawke moved to place something in his hand. Though Hawke's eye trianed itself on Fenris. Fenris swallowed as he stared at Hawke. Anders walked forward looking at the thing in Varric's hand. Anders was the first to talk. "D-do you think... It's edible?" Varric was confused so he quickly looked down to see a deep mushroom in his hand. Varric felt Hawke remove his hand and walk off. "Just... Because I am helping you to survive... Does not mean. That I care." Hawke forced himself to say as he walked away. Varric turned to look after Hawke. "Hey. Fenris... What did you do to him?" Varric asked towards the elf. Fenris let out a slow breath. "I merely talked to him..." He said slowly as he walked past Varric and Anders. "There is probably more than that. Let us follow him and see." Fenris stated evenly. Varric followed after Fenris while trying to match the elf's pace. "How about we walk slowly. I rather not have us too far apart. You know. Just in case Hawke trys to assault us again." Varric voiced as he looked at Fenris. The elf was walking normal for once. His arms weren't crossed. "Hawke won't attack us. Try to have some faith, Varric." Fenris said. Varric huffed. "How can you be sure Broody?" He asked. Fenris went quiet for a moment as he looked away from the others. He then focused on Hawke. "I... I just know..." With that said Fenris picked up the pace.

Varric slightly wondered if there was something going on between the two warriors. Varric wondered what Hawke did to Fenris. Or what Fenris did to Hawke. Varric could remeber when the two warriors first met each other. Any other person would of been intimadated to the void by Hawke. But not Fenris. Fenris gave him a once over and challenged Hawke's dominance. Though at one point Fenris avoided the human with a distressed look on his face. Though it was short lived. The only time he ever saw Hawke hurt Fenris was when they had first got stuck down here. Varric whinced at the recollection on the elf's behalf. Having seen Hawke deck a near jaw crushing blow straight to Fenris's face. He even saw that weird ass shit where Hawke made the blood swirl. There wasn't even a mark left on the elf. Creepy as fuck if Varric had anything say. So he wondered why Fenris still seemed to have faith in Hawke. Varric himself hardly trusted the dark haired man. His whole demeanor just screamed psychopath. Though Hawke was more reliable than the rabble of the entire city combined.

Varric's thoughts were disrupted by Anders thanking the Maker. Varric focused in front of him to see a twitching Hawke standing in front of a bunch of deep mushrooms. Varric watched as Hawke walked away. They had food to eat. But why was Hawke walking away. Hawke's body gave a violent jerk as he held his head. Varric looked down as he thought. Varric looked over to Fenris who was staring intently at the mushrooms. He watched as Fenris hesitantly started eating. Anders on the other hand was eating with a bit of abandon. Varric didn't like the idea of eating mushrooms. But it was that or nothing. He might as well question the elf about Hawke.

"Hey Broody. You have any idea why Hawke is ticking and twitching?" Varric questioned. Anders looked up. Seems he was also curious.

"How am I suppose to know that, Varric?" Fenris counter questioned.

"Well. You talked to him more than we do." Varric confessed.

"I do not know why he is doing what he is doing." Fenris hissed. Seems the elf is not keen on wanting to talk. Varric shrugged and kept talking.

"Come on. You must know. You hang around him despite what he did to you." Varric pointed out. Getting the elf to cringe. Anders looked at the elf.

"I respect him. That is only reason why I still talk to him." He said half lieing. Not admitting he had grown attached to the larger warrior.

"So do I-" Varric started but was cut off by Fenris.

"Then why don't you talk to him then?" Fenris hissed.

"... Alright. Fine. I will!" Varric exclaimed as he got up. "But you're coming with me!" Varric declared as he latched onto's the elf's back and gave a jerk.

"Let go of me!" Fenris said as he was forced to stand due to the shorter man.

"Come on Broody! We are going to talk to Hawke together!"

"WHY?" Fenris questioned aloud as he was dragged with Varric.

"Because I don't want to talk to him alone!" Varric said as he pulled Fenris with him by his weapon strap. At one point the elf planted his feet into the ground. Varric huffed and pulled.

"Let go of me, Varric." The elf growled as he turned around. Though Fenris's growl died down as he looked up behind Varric.

"Let. The. Branded. Bastard. Go." A low threatening voice said. Varric's eyes widened as he released Fenris.

Varric turned around to look up at Hawke. Hawke had his eye patch off. His right hand pressed up against his face beneath his messy dark hair. Hawke's eye was dilated to a point of being black just like his hair. Some how even Hawke's pale face had darkened. A twisted smile on his face. Varric took a breath. Fenris shoved Varric forward. "Well. Talk to him Varric." Fenris said as he walked past both of them. Having seen something lying on the ground behind Hawke. Varric swallowed. He silently wished Fenris didn't leave him there. He looked behind him to see Anders facing away. Almost saying, "Don't bring me into this." Varric sighed as he looked up at Hawke.

"Hey... You alright, Hawke?" Varric asked.

"I... Want..." Hawke said slowly. Varric was confused.

"Are you hungry? If so. You can eat with us." Varric said pointing at the mushrooms. Hawke's eye slid over to it before focusing back on the dwarf.

"Yes... But not... For that..." His voice was breaking slightly. Almost as if he was forcing himself to speak.

"Dare I ask what you are hungry for?" Varric stepped back as he asked. Varric watched as Hawke's body tensed as he let off a growl. It seemed to click in Varric's mind what was wrong.

"Shit... I... thought that was a sick joke Aveline told me..." Varric backed up further.

"T-trying... N-not... To..." Hawke growled deeply as he held his eye closed.

"So the rumors I heard were..."

"True...I... Am. A... Reaver..." Hawke strained to say.

Varric turned to Anders. "Hey Blondie. Think we can get those to go?" He asked. Anders nooded. Varric looked back to Hawke. Seeing the large man take a sharp breath. Varric looked around him to see Fenris fiddling with what looked like Hawke's eye patch. Varric's attention was brought back to Hawke. "Uhm. Do you want to lead the way?" He swallowed as he watched Hawke. Hawke gave off a queer noise before turning to walk off. The man must not be in his right mind. Hawke left his eye patch. Varric saw Fenris walk up holding the twisted metal patch in his hands. Seems like he was trying to affix something into the thing. "Hey. Fenris. Whatcha doing?" He asked the elf. Fenris looked up as he stopped. "I...Uhh." Fenris looked off to the side. Varric noticed that the elf's hands were staining red from the inside of the metal. The elf looked down to the eye patch. "What are you doing?" Varric asked walking up to Fenris. Fenris gave a low sigh before showing him. "There is a rune on the inside of his head gear. Any idea what kind it is?" Fenris asked as pulled the rune from the eye patch. "It's broke... Hawke is going to be pissed." Varric said looking at Fenris. The elf scowled at him. "I didn't break it, Varric." Fenris retorted. "You don't have to be pissy about." Varric said with a small chuckle. "Now look who is starting to sound like Hawke." Fenris hummed. They were unaware that Anders walked up behind them. "That is a Grandmaster Devistation rune. Designed to increase the power of any weapon it is attached to. Also it makes the user more of a threat towards enemies. Seeing that it is broke means it needs to be reenchanted." Anders said leaning over Fenris. "Back up, Mage..." Fenris growled. Anders backed up enough away from him. "How do you know that Blondie?" Varric looked up to the blonde mage. Anders walked away from him and Fenris. He walked towards where Hawke walked off to. "The Warden Commander had asked me to study it. After all. Most rune makers are mages. She wanted something powerful for her sword and shield. Though. Such a rune like that is hard to come by and even harder to create." Anders stated. During the mage's explaination. Fenris slipped the rune into one of his packs along his waist. Varric sighed as he followed the mage. Hearing Fenris follow behind him.

The three men walked tiredly after Hawke. Varric kept looking back at Fenris. The elf was holding that twisted piece of metal close for some odd reason. Varric was not sure he wished to get in on knowing why. After a few hours they came to a familar room. The three men saw Hawke leaning over the rail. He was coughing harshly. Varric looked down to the ground before walking up to Hawke. Before he could however. He felt Fenris grab his shoulder. "Go up to him on his left." Fenris said lowly. Varric nodded and walked around to met Hawke on his left side. "How you holding up Hawke? Do you think my brother left some supplies down here? Considering this area is familar?" Varric asked hopefully. Hawke forced himself to stop his coughing long enough to hold his stomach. Digging his fingers into the dark purple leather. Varric slightly wondered why Hawke wore leather armor instead of heavy armor like most warriors. Then again only Hawke and Fenris wore plated leather armor. Though Varric noticed the leather was akin to dragon skin. He focused back on Hawke's condition at the moment. Hawke took a deep breath as he stood up. "I... Am tempted to eat that..." Hawke said as he stared at the rotting corpse of the dragon they had killed. Varric cringed. "That is unhealthy..." Varric gagged. Hawke looked at him and simply stared. "Hey. Don't look at me like that, Hawke. Surely there is something left somewhere." Varric said as he hurried away from Hawke. Shortly being followed by the giant and the other two.

It was about two hours before they ran into someone from the expedition.

Varric looked at the man sitting on the ground who was shaking as he clutched to a red bottle that looked all to familar. "Holy shit... You were with us on the expedition!" He shouted as he ran towards the man. The man flintched. "A-are you real?" The man asked. The man looked sick. Varric assumed it was that drink he was holding. "Yeah we're real. How did you survive?" Varric asked the man. Not seeing Hawke glaring darkly at the abandoned hirerling. "This..." He said said showing the red bottle. "N-nasty as fuck but... I ain't went hungry. I don't know what's in it..." The man said staring at the bottle. Hawke glared darkly at the man as he shoved Varric aside. "H-how did you manage to survive drinking that." It wasn't a quetion but a demand. The man's stare widened as he gagged. "I threw up more of it than I could stand to stomach." The man said as he slowly moved himself back. He was bleeding. A torn sleeve was acting as a bandage. Varric saw Hawke swallow as a twisted smirk splayed across his face. The man leaned against the wall as he huffed. "You think I can go with you guys?" The man asked looking at Hawke. "Depends. heh." Hawke let off an amused laugh as he leaned over the man. "Can you walk..." He said tilting his head to the side. The man looked down and shook his head no. "I had tripped on the way back and shattered my ankle... Three days ago. I still can't walk... You could carry me right?" He asked hopefully. "You would die... Before you make it... To the surface." Hawke forced himself to say as he began to drool. Varric shuddered as he knew what was going through Hawke's mind. "Hawke... Do you think we can help him?" Varric asked. Anders dropped down beside the man and inspected his ankle. "I don't think he would be able to walk. Considering that his ankle has been this way for too long to heal it properly." Anders said lowly. "Then it is settled..." Hawke began as his smile grew. "You three go ahead. I will tend to him myself." He said as his tongue licked about his sharp teeth. Fenris left without a second word as he turned from the man with his head down and walked off. Still holding onto the twisted metal crown. Anders looked at Hawke. "Let me help him. We could make a splint and-" He was cut off by Hawke glaring at him. "Get lost mage. He would just slow us down." Hawke growled as he felt another pain shoot through him. "Unless you want to take his place." With that said Anders stood up and hurried away. Varric looked at the man for a long moment. "What does he mean?" The man asked. Varric simply closed his eyes. "I... Sorry... If Hawke was anyone else... We would take you with us. But..." Varric trailed off as Hawke shoved him away. "W-wait! I can! I can..." The man began to panic as realization dawned on him as to what was going on. He looked back up as Hawke walked up to him.

Varric hurried away from the two as he began to run. He didn't want to see this. He soon caught up with both Fenris and Anders. He breathed deeply as he tried to catch his breath. He looked up to Anders. "Hey... You think we should of..." He began to say. "You know... Convinced Hawke not to..." He continued. "It would not have helped much. Just delay the inevitable, Varric." Fenris stated as he sat down holding his head. "It was either us... Or him. Would you rather take his place? I rather not die in some worthless pit." Fenris continued. "I... Hate to agree with Fenris on this, Varric. I mean... He would of slowed us down considering he couldn't walk... And Hawke would have killed him anyway..." Anders trailed off. "Shit... All I know is that we just let a man die!" They all heard the clash of metal against stone and a choked scream. Making them all cringe. Fenris focused his attention back on the metal eye patch as he tried to put the rune back in place. As if trying to distract himself. Anders sat down and began to poke at the ground using his staff. Varric gave a groan as he too sat down by Anders. Taking out his journel and began writing.

Nearly an hour later Hawke walked towards them. He was covered in fresh blood. Though his twitching had ceased. He let out a low sigh as he licked at his teeth. He walked over to them as he put his guantlets and vambraces back on. He then glared at Fenris. Making his way to the elf. "I require my eye patch. Fenris." He squated down and stared at the metal. Fenris looked up at him. He had been messing with the rune for the whole time. Having finaly figured out that it slide into a hollow slot that was covered. "You put it back together. Didn't you, Elf." Hawke said lowly. "I was bored..." Fenris said as he handed it back hesitantly. Varric was staring at Hawke from where he was sitting beside Anders. The mage had forced himself asleep. "You alright now, Hawke?" Varric asked. Still feeling sick over what he had heard and allowed. "Yeah... A lot better. I didn't think you lot would allow such a thing to befall another." Hawke said as his smile grew. "It was either him or us." Fenris stated. Varric laid down agaisnt Anders's shoulder. "Under normal sircumstances. We kill a lot of people. What's one more?" Varric mocked with a forced smile. This got Hawke to laugh. He watched as Hawke took the eye patch from the elf and affix it to his face beneath his hair. Hawke sat down a fair distance from Fenris and began to brush his fingers through his long hair. As if trying to fix it. Before long Hawke let out a yawn as he crossed his legs and seemed to fall asleep sitting up. Fenris too fell asleep against the stone wall. Varric looked at what he written in his journel and let out a shaky breath. If his brother had never left them down there. They would never had went through something so horrific. He wouldn't have had to know that Hawke did such things to keep himself sane. Though Hawke was back to normal. It was truly a good thing that was the result from something sinister. Though he should consider himself and the others lucky that Hawke refused to kill them. Though he couldn't help but wonder why Hawke didn't chose to kill them. Either way. That were only halfway to getting home.

* * *

 _A/N I always wondered if Bartrand left some people to die. Well. Either_ way. _The trio is safe from Hawke_.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26 Closeness**

 _A/N The focus starts on Anders but switches over to Fenris._

* * *

Anders groaned as he awoke. Feeling Varric asleep against his shoulder. Anders shoved his shoulder as he moved to sit up. Hearing Varric grumble from the some what rude awakening. Anders sat up as he let out a yawn. He looked over to see Varric stretching. He then looked over to see Hawke standing up. He was running his hand under his eye patch again. Anders looked over to Fenris, who was awake as well. Anders stood up using his staff. Anders remained silent as he let out a sigh. He was disturbed by the fact that out of all four of them. Hawke was the only one nearly covered entirely in blood. He felt a shiver go down his spine at recalling what had happened to that man they had found. Anders had the sudden urge to vomit. He swallowed it back as he let out a ragged breath. He decided he was just going to walk ahead of the group. In an attempt to calm his nerves. He felt a cold chill run through him when he was a good distance away from the group. He turned his head to see Hawke staring intently at him. Another thing was how close Hawke was to him. Seems the other two were following as well. Normally it was Hawke who lead. "Why did you stop, mage? Clearly you wish to get out of here soon. So by all means lead on." Hawke droned. Anders took a deep breath before responding. "I just... Uh. Felt a cold chill. Is all. Was wondering if you guys felt it too?" He looked at them for a moment. "Well. We are a long way from the thaig. Aslo. It has been growing colder." Varric stated as he tilted his head slightly as if thinking. Hawke merely hummed. As if agreeing with the dwarf. Fenris shrugged indifferently. Hawke walked his way towards Anders's side. Hawke was merely two feet taller than the blonde mage. It was still enough where it made Anders feel very small compared to Hawke. Shit. Anders wasn't even built like Hawke. In his opinion. Hawke was built like damn bronto. Then again Hawke did have the horns to go with that thought. He watched as Hawke brushed past him. He saw Fenris and Varric walk past him as well. Though Varric remained close to him and had offered a smile. Anders couldn't bring himself to smile. Varric slowly frowned before looking forward. "Hey Blondie... If you still thinking about what Hawke did... Just think this. It could have been us..." Varric said lowly as he looked up to Anders. Anders shivered. "I am trying to... Varric. I really am. The man was left down here to die just like we were. The least we could of done was help him. But... We didn't. We just let Hawke... Kill him..." Anders said as his voice began to break. "Look I don't like what was done either... Hell. Tell the truth. I wish we could of helped that guy..." Varric said as he hanged his head. "Then why didn't we?" Anders asked. "Because deep down we all knew that Hawke was going to murder him the moment he slowed us down." Fenris said harshly cutting into the conversation. It was like the elf didn't even care. Anders looked wide eyed at Fenris. "How could you say that and not feel disgusted about what Hawke did?" Anders asked in disbelief. Fenris closed his eyes as he continued to walk. "Because I would have left him to die, myself. We have enough problems getting back on our own. We don't need someone else slowing us down." Fenris said curtly as he walked faster.

Fenris ignored the baffled look Anders gave him. In truth Fenris didn't really want to think about 'what ifs' concerning that stranger. He also didn't wish to think what Hawke did to the man either. He was the only one who didn't even question Hawke. He simply sighed as he continued walking. He tried to think on something other than Hawke killing that man. Though he felt a bit guilty not even trying to help the man. But he wasn't going to say shit to Hawke. Mainly because he didn't wish to go against Hawke. He did that enough. He was more worried about getting out of here alive. He pushed the thoughts aside and simply continued walking.

They walked for what seemed like hours. Finally coming to a stop to rest for the night or day. Which ever it truly was. Fenris sat down on a large stone. He looked over to Hawke who was reaching into a pouch hidden in the dark feathers around the back of his waist. He pulled out the bottle he took back from that man. Fenris turned his attention to Varric and Anders. Anders looked depressed. Varric was trying to cheer the mage up. Fenris huffed as he turned away from them. He leaned back and sighed as he felt a cold chill in the air. It was indeed getting colder in the cavern. It was also getting a bit lighter in the stone tunnel. Giving a brighter light making it easier to see. Fenris closed his eyes and tryed to relax considering everything they went through. He felt uncomfortable with fact that it has been so long since he was last able to bathe. He was sure the others also felt this way. They all had dirt, blood, and sweat on them. Which was a bit distressing to Fenris. Then he wondered if part of Hawke was going insane knowing his long dark hair was an utter mess. He gave a glance at Hawke then and saw the man running his hands through his hair. Was that a small hand brush in his palm? It looked like it. Fenris smirked at this. It was a bit amusing to see the larger man slightly flustered over something trivial. His thoughts where interupted by Varric then. Fenris jolted up right so quickly that he near jumped off the stone he was sitting on. His markings lighting up briefly at the contact. Fenris whirled and glared at the dwarf. The contact hurt. Varric backed up with his hands in the air. In one hand was a shroom. "Forgot. You hate being touched. I thought you were a bit hungry. So I was trying to get your attention by talking. But. You weren't really listening." Varric explained as he held out the mushroom with a smile. Fenris calmed down as he looked at the dwarf. "Thank you for the concern Varric. I am not really hungry right now. Maybe another time." Fenris said as he watched Varric nod. "Alright. And sorry for suprising you." Varric said with an appology. He turned around and walked away. Fenris sighed as he watched Varric take a seat on the ground. A slight pain ran across his markings where Varric touched him. He sat quietly on the stone until a stray thought hit him. His markings hurt like always when Varric touched him. But he can not remember the normal stinging pain his markings gave when Hawke touched him. Then again. He never felt his markings hurt him when he felt Hawke's touch. The only pain he ever felt was when the human was handling him roughly. Or biting him. Strange. Fenris was puzzled by this. Normally the lyrium brands hurt him no matter who touches him. Yet with Hawke. Oddly enough it never registered. Such anomaly puzzled the elf. Making him question why he felt no pain from the more he dwelled on it the more it confounded him. Without any thought on his part. He ran his hand up along the side of his neck and simply left it there as he thought. At some point he shook his head and stood up. Realizing Anders and Varric were falling asleep next to each other. The cavern had grown colder. Fenris silently wondered how long he was lost in thought. He looked from the two blondes and tried to seek out their dark hearted leader. Fenris paused in his steps and tilted his head. Did he think Hawke was dark hearted? Well the man sure was hostile towards others. He shrugged and continued to look around. After all he could only see so far in such dim lighting. Fenris then stopped in thought. A rather serious one at that. Shouldn't the area still be warm and humid considering they walked past a lava pit hours ago? Or were they far enough to where the heat radiated from the magma could no longer reach their location? He gave a groan as he held his forhead. He really truly did not understand the Deep Roads. Nor would he ever to be honest. He gave up trying to find the logic in such matters and simply seek out where Hawke wandered off to.

Fenris walked a good distance before he found Hawke. He stopped and simply watched the larger man. The man was able to disappear from the group with such ease. Fenris tilted his head as he saw what Hawke was doing. Hawke was sitting on the stone ground with his legs crossed. His hands planted on either side of him as his cape trailed behind him. His hair was still a mess as it splayed across his back down to the ground. Hawke's eye patch was off and set beside him. He was staring up at tunnel ceiling. The large man took a deep breath before letting it out in a gruff growl. It was almost like the larger man was thinking. Fenris stood silently as he looked down. He wanted to talk to the larger man. Though the topic he wished to talk about made him uneasy. He let out a sigh. He was startled a bit when Hawke's dark voice cut through the air. "What is it, Elf?" Fenris swallowed and walked forward. He dropped down slowly to sit to Hawke's left side. "I didn't tell you to sit beside me, Elf." Hawke droned with a snarl. Fenris frowned and glared at Hawke. "What are you going to do about it then?" Fenris challenged. Hawke snorted as a small smile crossed his face. "I could hurt you." He whispered. Fenris gave a small chuckle. "I bet you could. But do you truly want to?" Fenris countered. Hawke looked ahead into the dark. His small smile faded as if he was giving the question some serious thought. Hawke gave off an odd noise. "Yes... But not without reason when I am sane..." Hawke said honestly. Fenris merely nodded. At least Fenris didn't have to worry about Hawke lieing to him. Hawke remained silent as he closed his eye. Fenris turned himself to face Hawke. "Is there something you want from me, Elf?" Hawke asked with disinterest. Fenris sighed as he thought for a moment. How was he going to go about asking? He wanted to know why. He had so many questions. He wished to know Hawke's intentions from days ago. What had Hawke ment? Fenris just wanted to know what Hawke thought of him honestly. In all the time he had known Hawke. He was the sole person to hold Hawke's attention. He figured what Hawke had done was probably the reason why he was of interest to Hawke. He shuddered. He had to ask. After talking to Hawke when the large man was on the brink of breaking down. There was just something in the man's torrent eye. There was some kind of forlorn emotion that the man's voice lacked. It was as if he saw some hidden part of Hawke. That feeling Fenris had gotten felt familar. He watched Hawke open his eye. Fenris looked up to Hawke and stared into his eye. That emotion wasn't there now. Seems Hawke is able to force his emotions in check when he is sane. Hawke tilted his head and sharply glared at the elf.

"You have been sitting there staring at me nearly an hour, Elf." Hawke said harshly. Causing Fenris to blush slightly.

"I was... Thinking... About something." Fenris said trying to rid himself of the red that threatened his face. He didn't know he was staring.

"Then go think over near the other two." Hawke curty said leaning onto his right hand. Placing his left on his knee.

"I do not wish to." Fenris scoffed as he turned his head.

Hawke growled in annoyance as he shifted his weight to get up.

"Hawke, wait." Fenris started almost reaching out to the larger male.

Hawke glared at Fenris as he kept a neutral face. Settling back down to see what the elf had to say. He watched as Fenris let out a sigh of relief.

"I... Want to ask you something of importance to me." Fenris started trying to brave.

"Like what? Elf." Hawke narrowed his eye and turned his head slightly to fully focus on the elf before him.

"I have come to realize something. Well. Two things actually. All the times you have touched me. My markings did not react. They only reacted when I was handled roughly by you." He said looking up at Hawke through his platinum hair.

Hawke remained silent as if telling Fenris to continue. Knowing Hawke was willing to listen to him this time gave Fenris a bit of courage.

"Also... Considering... What you did to me several days ago. The thing I did not approve of..." Fenris trailed off then. Looked to the side. Hawke let out a growl causing him to look back at the large human.

"Those... Are not questions." The larger man seemed to sneer.

"They are a demand of information. Something you do quite often." Fenris shot back with a bit of a growl.

"Hmm. True." Hawke narrowed his eye again. The conversation was getting interesting now.

"Now answer them, Hawke." Fenris stared intently at Hawke now. Standing his ground. He knew if he wished to get an answer from Hawke. He had to demand it. Having learned Hawke respects directness.

Hawke seemed to smirk at this. "The run away slave finally decides to demand answers from his better. About fucking time you grew a backbone, Fenris." Hawke said with approval. Fenris scowled at the way Hawke worded the responce but could sense it was suppose to be a compliment as well as an insult. Hawke sat forward and hummed lowly.

"Well then. You want answers, huh? Fine. For the first one. The reason. How should I fucking know? It is your damn body. If those lyrium brands light up and shoot pain throughout your body from the slightest touch. Then why the fuck do they not hurt when I touch you? I sure ain't fucking gentle. In fact. I can't handle any one gently other than my Mother and my Sister. After all. I wouldn't want to harm them. Now the second one. That was a slip up on my part. I was not entirely in the right mind set. I tend to get. Lustful. Whether it is for blood or physical release. I originally wanted to rip you apart till you bled out onto the cold hard ground and satisfy my hunger. But at the same time I wanted you to be alive for my own sick twisted pleasure. So my mind switched and I got quite perverted. Though given how you reacted..." At this point Hawke trailed off and gave fenris an analyzing stare. He slowly continued. "I can easily identify that such things are not allow to be done to your person. The way you reacted showed disgust. You were repulsed by what I did. Part of me... Hmm... Regretted what I did to your person. That is the reason why I chose to ignore you. I had to rethink on... Something. Though rest asured Fenris. It shall never happen again." Hawke finished with a growl.

Fenris was a bit pale and confused after hearing this. Confused because even Hawke did not know why the markings did not react to his touch badly. Pale because he was just told what Hawke actually wanted to do. Hawke had wanted to bleed him dry. Like some sort of cattle. But hearing that Hawke could not carry out that urge to kill him. It made Fenris curious as to why? Fenris swallowed hard before he spoke.

"W-what did you rethink on?"

"That is of no concern to you, Elf."

"I see... So you are not..." Trying his best as to get Hawke to tell his perferance. A part of him was wanting to know.

"You have to be more specific. I am not many things. Merciful is one of them..." Hawke warned.

Fenris was about to ask which gender Hawke perfered but ended up losing his courage. Fenris merely huffed and simply responded with, "You are a rather dark hearted bastard aren't you?"

Hawke laughed this time. "Yes. I am. And proud of it too."

"Sick fuck..."

Hawke smirked as he leaned back. Hawke hummed as if thinking on something but pushed the thought aside for now. "Why yes. Yes I am. Now is that all you wanted to bother me with?" He asked.

"For the moment... Yes." Fenris lied.

With that Hawke reached out and picked up his eye patch. Before he rose from the stone and turned to affix it back in its place. He walked off a short distance and sat down with his back towards the wall. Fenris let out a sigh. He really wanted to know. But he could not bring himself to ask. He shook his head as he tried to forget part of the conversation. Sometimes he wished Hawke would lie to make him feel better. But that wasn't in Hawke's nature. Fenris shivered a bit from the knowledge Hawke had given him. Though he still could help but wonder as to why Hawke didn't straight up kill him. He pushed the though aside and got up. It would be wise to forget everything that happened down here if they ever get out. He walked towards the others. Passing up Hawke as he did. He sat down and leaned against a large rock. Soon he finding himself being called to the fade.

* * *

It had been several days that the group of men been walking. Resting occasionally. They were beyond tired.

Anders wore his hair down having gotten fed up with it being tied back. His hair was longer than normal. His normally bright blonge hair now dirty and dark. He was going in and out of sleep. Making himself walk using his staff as a cane. He felt sick other day. He also felt colder than usual. Felt strange near his neck along the top of his shoulder. He had had a strange dream. But he was so restless as of late. Having caught Hawke glaring at him intently. Rememinding him of what happened nearly more than a week ago with that ogre. He tried his best to avoid Hawke since then. Anders tended to remain near Varric through those days.

Varric let out a sigh as he had sat down. Tired from walking for so long. His boots were nearly distroyed. He wanted a bath so bad. His hair was messily tied back. His coat was scuffed along with his precious Bianca. To a point where he fixed her up and then promtly wrapped her up in his coat. Forcing him to go around in the light shirt he wore underneath. But at least Bianca was protected from any more scuffs. He was more terrified of her being damaged. Though being stuck underground for so long. He secretly thought his ancesters were bat shit crazy to live down here for a millennia. Most dwarves feared falling up into the sky. Him. He was more practical. He was afraid of being crushed to death by the rocks hanging over head.

Fenris remained silent through the days they had been walking. They were nearly out of those mushrooms. Fenris sighed as he pulled at the blood dried in his hair. It made his silver hair clinge together in large chunks that just bothered him to no end. After a while he gave an indignant huff and simply watched Hawke lead the way. He along with the others were nearly shocked when Hawke bound his hair up into a long thick pony tail. Fenris finally got to see what the back of Hawke's armor was. It was plated with slick steel. Also. The feathered upper mantle of Hawke's waist cape was actually his pack. Which explains why it looked like he pulled objects out from behind his back from thin air. Though back to Hawke's hair. Hawke had keep the hair on the sides of his face down. Hawke also seemed pissed about his beard growing out. He had took a dagger out and cut it. It wasn't finely manicured though which seemed to piss Hawke off more. As if he wasn't pissed enough. Another thing Fenris noted was that Hawke was showing signs of slowly begining to talk to himself again. Though there was nothing to worry about. It was merely Hawke trying to remeber where he left something of his. What of. Neither Fenris nor the other two knew.

The foursome settled down to get some rest and sleep. Though Hawke refused to sleep. Constantly complaining about his hair. Who knew Hawke was so vain for a brute?

* * *

 _A/n The next chapter. They finally get out of the Deep Roads. Also more Hawke bitching about his hair. -w-_


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 Lust And Pride**

 _A/n This focuses on Fenris. Dreams and thoughts are in italics as usual._  
 _(slash warning)_

* * *

 _The cavern was lit with a dull blue glow as the lyrium veins branched out of the stone up the large columns. The blood from those horrendous creatures stuck to his armor and his face. Fenris gave a grunt of disgust as he wiped his face. He turned to look around and noticed it was just him and Hawke. Having got separated from the others due to darkspawn. Hawke gave a laugh as he brushed his hair back behind him. Hawke turned slightly to look at the elf. Fenris gave a sigh as he saw Hawke offer a faint smile. Of course the human was having fun. Hawke was a slut for murder. There was no doubting that. Fenris couldn't help but laugh. He walked over to Hawke slowly. Fenris winced as he held his side. Having been struck from one of the creatures when his guard was down. He paused his steps as his markings flared. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off. The cut made itself known. He felt Hawke make his way towards him almost instantly appearing before him. Fenris looked up at Hawke. The man tilted his head to the side. "You are damaged." The human said lowly as he stood before Fenris. "I. Am fine." Fenris said closing his eyes. He soon felt Hawke's metal clawed hand brush away his hair from his face. Soon feeling the piercing metal dig into his neck and chin being forced to look up. Fenris opened his eyes to look up at Hawke. "The wound is deep. You will bleed out if you refuse help." Hawke droned as he pulled Fenris up more nearly picking him off the ground. Fenris latched onto Hawke's vambrace then with both hands. He felt Hawke run his other hand down along his side. Resting his large hand over the cut for a brief moment. Hawke pulled his hand back clenching his fist before opening it and resting it there once again. That cold feeling made itself present and Fenris let off a sigh. He soon felt himself be set back down. Though he refused to let go of Hawke's vambrace. Keeping the human's hand over his throat. "Hawke... I don't quite know how to say this... Um. Could you..." Fenris trialed off. The surrounding light began to turn to the color of blood as the lyrium stones flickered to red slowly. The dead darkspawn corpse vanishing from the scene. Hawke tilted his head. His hair falling way to the side. Showing part of his eye patch. "Could I do what, Fenris?" Hawke growled. Fenris swallowed. "I... Want you to touch me." Fenris admitted. Hawke smirked at this. "Really now, Elf? What ever happened to your disapproval to my touch?" Hawke laughed darkly. "I don't care. Just... Don't stop this time." Fenris commanded with slight hesitation. "And if you refuse my touch during it?" Hawke questioned as he leaned forward. Being even in eye level with the elf. His eye trained on the smaller male's face. "I won't refuse." Fenris stated as he looked Hawke in the eye. "Alright then. Now hold still." Hawke demanded as he pulled Fenris closer. Fenris jolted slightly as he felt Hawke's mouth on his. He could feel the man's tongue press against his mouth. Fenris shuddered as he allow the man to push through. The taste of blood was on the man's tongue. It was sick and intoxicating as it was mixed with the foul drink the human swilled. Fenris groaned into Hawke's mouth. He felt himself be force to the ground. The kiss was broken as he allowed Hawke to roughly shove him to the ground. The rough handling made his markings spring to life. He heard Hawke chuckle darkly as he felt the large man's hand pull at his armor. He made a move to help but his hands were pushed away. Hawke pressed his hand into the elf's neck further pinning him to the ground. Fenris gasped when he felt the chest plate get pulled away. His tunic being opened. He let out a shuddered breath as he felt Hawke's gauntleted hand run down his now exposed chest and stomach. Fenris looked up at Hawke with a heavy blush on his face. Hawke gave him a wicked smile before he pulled at the belt around the elf's waist. Removing it quickly then he soon ran his hand across the laces holding the elf's pants closed. "Do you wish for me to continue elf?" Hawke asked as he tugged at the laces pulling them a loose. "Yes." The smaller male breathed out. Fenris hissed as he felt the larger man wrap a hand around him pulling him out. "Getting hard already? I have barely done anything." Hawke said with a smirk as he ran his metal clad hand along it. Exciting the elf beneath him. His gave a twisted smile as he licked at his teeth. He began to lean forward to bring his mouth against the elf's once more. Slipping his tongue ito the elf's mouth. Hawke's long dark hair falling like a curtain around them._

* * *

Fenris bolts up right as he was jarred awake. He pushed himself off the cold stone and sat back up against the rock he was previously leaning against before he slumped sideways in his sleep. His face a deep scarlet as he nearly choked when he breathed deep. He shook his head furiously as he ran a hand through his hair. Wincing as his gauntlet pulled slightly at a dried clump of blood. He sat further back pulling his legs close against his body and wrapped his arms around himself. He shuddered a bit at recalling the dream. " _Damnant quod Fenris. A_ depto a _apprehendent te. Sicut erat somnium! Somnium... Ubi Hawke._ " Fenris whispered. He felt faint all of a sudden. He casted a hesitant glance towards Hawke. The larger man was asleep. Though it looked like the man was passed out. Fenris looked to the others and noticed they were all still sleeping. He looked back to Hawke and swallowed as his face began to burn more again. Leaving his face and ears a deep red color. "Quo irrumabo enim mali est cum mihi?" He spoke lowly. To shocked to even bother staying silent. He felt a chill run down his spine suddenly. He felt cold. Missing the heat that his dream had brought him. He had dreamed of Hawke through out the entire Deep Roads' venture. But never. Had it started to show scenes of such nature. He was trying to control his breathing. Part of him wished he had not fell over. Secretly wanting to know how the scene would have played out. He shook his head again and got up. His face was still burning. He let out a sharp breath as he walked way from the rock he had slept against. He had to clear his head of the curious notions of wanting to know how the dream would have continued and how it would have ended. "Quid enim mali est cum me? Quid sum ego sumnium talium rerum?" He said lowly as he walked past Hawke's sleeping form. He stopped as he turned to look at Hawke again. Hawke was truly asleep. Hawke's mouth was open showing the tips of his fang like teeth. Fenris bit his bottom lip as the image of the dream flashed into his mind. Slightly wondering if Hawke truly tasted of blood and poison. The blush that was fading started to return. He need to push such thoughts aside. After all. It was wrong to fantasize about another man like that. ' _Though... I am pretty sure Hawke would never treat me like my Master did._ ' He suddenly growled at the thought. "Quid ego de meditentur? Ego non patitur cogitare talium rerum de, Hawke... Dixit sibi. Ego sum nullius studium ulla magis..." He whispered to himself as he looked down to the stone beneath his feet. He heard a slight rustle of armor from in front of him. He quickly looked back up to see Hawke readjust his weight against the cavern wall. Seems like Hawke is having a nightmare. The deep serious frown on his face conveyed disturbance and uneasement. Fenris soon forgot the dream for a brief moment as he walked over to Hawke. He looked down slightly at the man. Hawke had let out a growl in his sleep. Fenris was unsure if he should wake Hawke. He looked off to where the others were. He sat down against the cavern wall right beside Hawke. He settled one hand on the ground and held the other over his chest. Contemplating on what to do. ' _He has been walking the last few days with out ever sleeping. Surely he is knocked out completely this time. I wonder if he is in a deep enough sleep for me to..._ ' He quietly thought to himself. He really wished for the heat that came off of Hawke. Fenris's own armor was not ideal for the cold. He inched his way closer to the larger man. He prayed to the Maker that Hawke would not awake. Fenris closed his eyes as he got between Hawke and his arm. He leaned back lightly and felt part of Hawke's gauntlet dig into him. Fenris shifted his weight and managed to sit comfortably there right beside Hawke. He dared a look up the human's face. Hawke truly was out cold. The Venture must have finally gotten the better of him. "I have no idea why I am even tempting this..." Fenris murmured this time not in his native tongue. Hawke shifted again but remained asleep. Fenris scoffed lightly. Seems Hawke slept like the dead when he was tired to the point of exhaustion. Fenris sat in silence for a few minutes as he tapped his gauntleted fingers on his knees. He swallowed lightly. Giving a small blush he leaned against Hawke gently. Hearing Hawke let off a sigh of some sort. Hawke had stopped moving in his sleep and Fenris could feel the larger man's body relax. With that bit of assurance Fenris leaned his head along the broad side of Hawke's chest. He gave off a small yawn and slowly drifted off to the fade once again.

Fenris was awaked violently as he felt a seering pain that shot through him. His eyes flew open as he tried to open his mouth to scream out. But his mouth was covered tightly by Hawke's large hand. He felt his body get jerked back as the agonizing pain ran throughout his body before it was replaced by a sick twisted pleasurable sensation. He tried to move but realized his arms were bound to his side. Hawke crushing him in a one armed bear hug. His markings pulsed dully as he felt sharp teeth gnaw into his shoulder near his neck. Fenris groaned into Hawke's hand as he closed his eyes. Getting nearly lost in the feeling. He opened his eyes and looked at Hawke. He would have gasped out loud was it not for Hawke's hand silencing him. Hawke's dark blue eye was wide open and dilated. Staring intensely on Fenris. Feeling the larger man pull his mouth away. The feel of his own blood running down across his armor. Shivering from the way Hawke's tongue licked along the fresh wound. Hawke's teeth imprinted into the elf's flesh. Fenris suddenly thought that this should have been the start of his dream. Similar to the same sick twisted fantasy that had once crossed his mind shortly after he had met Hawke. "Next time I am simply going to break you, Elf." Hawke growled with warning. Fenris felt the cold sensation run through him as the bite mark slowly disappeared. "What possessed you to think sleeping against me was a wise idea?" Hawke questioned as he licked away the blood from his mouth. Hawke slowly released Fenris from his hold. The elf shuddered and remained where he was. He didn't even bother moving away like normal. He simply fell backward onto Hawke's chest. "What is this? Did I break the elf already? How disappointing." Hawke groaned shoving Fenris harshly away from him. Fenris caught himself before he had landed face first onto the stone. He took note that Anders and Varric were still asleep. He sat back up let out a sigh. Almost contently. This got Hawke to tilt his head. Hawke's eye widened as he watched Fenris run his hand through his own blood. The elf pulled his hand away and stared at it. He gave off a low laugh before brought it to his mouth and licked it from his fingers. In that moment. Hawke could of swore his heart skipped a beat. This was an interesting display from the Bastard Elf. It was not like him to do such. Hawke remained silent as if thinking. He leaned forward slightly when he heard Fenris make a remark. "It... Hurts. But. It also feels wonderful... I hate myself for indulging in this. It is sick. And twisted. Yet... I can't help but want it." Fenris hid his eyes beneath his hair as he glared at the ground. "Why? I never felt such disgusting sense of enjoyment in this till I met you, Hawke." Fenris said lowly. Fenris turned to look at Hawke from under his hair. His emerald eyes blazing dangerously. He hated himself for wanting such things. He hated Hawke for making him feel this way. Though this hate alone didn't seem to help him refuse the twisted pleasure he felt. He just wanted it. He saw as Hawke smiled sinsiterly. "I can give no answer for what you feel, Fenris. That is for you to figure out on your own." Hawke countered. The larger man stood up as he laughed lowly. Walking away as his hair swayed along in tune with his cape. Fenris stared silently. Fenris furrowed his brow before closing his eyes. Hawke was right. This sick twisted interest he had. He had to figure it out on his own. Though he still believed Hawke had something to do with it.

Nearly an hour was spent in total silence as Hawke and Fenris waited for the two blondes to awaken. Once they were. The group set out immediately. Walking the length of the carven for a few hours. They felt something rush past them. It was cool and refreshing. A sweet relief from the dank and smothering dust filled cavern air. They hurried their pace and were greeted by a varity of soft warm colors hanging in the sky about them. Dull pinks, reds, greys, and blues. The bright orange glow of the rising sun. Varric bolted from the cavern mouth and threw himself to the ground in sheer delight. "FINALY WE'RE OUT OF THAT BLIGHTED HOLE!" He yelled to the skies as he hugged the earth. Anders dropped down beside him. "Maker. It is wonderful to finally smell grass again!" He nearly cried. "You bet it is Blondie." Varric smiled as he nuzzled the grass. It in turn tickling his nose. He laughed tiredly at this. Fenris took a deep breath. His mind clearing with the fresh air. He could faintly smell water on the breeze that carried past him and the others. As he walked forward he felt the cool soft brush of the grass beneath his feet. First time in a long time he was truly happy to feel it on the soles of his feet. And he normally detested nature. Hawke however...

Hawke shrunk back into the cavern when the light hit his eye. A seering pain went through his head as he let out a snarl. He held his eye closed tight. The light was agony to him. He cracked his eye open as he held up an arm to sheild his eye. He needed time to adjust to the light. His left eye being sensitive to the harsh light making it hard for him to see correctly. He gave a growl as he made himself to step forward. He heard sharp gasps from his three followers. He glared at them curiously. "Holy. Shit. Hawke." Varric said as he stood up his eyes wide. "Um... I think you need to clean yourself off before walking into the city." Varric said slowly. "What the fuck for." Hawke snapped back. Varric swallowed. "Because. You are drenched with blood... Most of it. Might be your's..." Varric said with a worried look on his face. Hawke slowly brought his arm down as his eye finished adjusting to the light. He looked himself over. There was nearly no where on his body that didn't have blood. He looked back to the others to see they didn't have much blood on them. They had very little on them. Hawke reached to pull his hair to the front as to inspect it. It was clumped together by large amounts of blood. He needed a bath. "Wonderful..." He snarled. He waked off toward the main trail leading away from the cavern. The others followed quietly.

A few hours later they came to a flowing river. The same one they had past weeks ago when they were on the trek to the Deep Roads entrance. Hawke looked at the water. Varric walked up beside Hawke on his good side. "I don't like water that moves. But... I really need a bath. You guys want to get cleaned up before we head into the city? So you know. We look nice?" Varric asked looking at the others. "I'm with you on that." Anders said walking to the side of the river. "I am fine with waiting till we get back to the city." Fenris said aloud. "Suit yourself, Broody." Varic said as he took Bianca who was swaddled in Varric's coat. He set the bundel down as he kicked off his boots and took his gloves off. Which was followed by his shorts. Varric walked over to the water with his underclothes and deep v shirt still on. Anders followed Varric by removing his pauldrons and his robe. Along with his own boots. Though unlike Varric, Anders immediatly jumped into the river. "Oh sweet Maker! It's cold!" He said as he shivered. "A little Help Blondie? Dwarves are not the best swimmers." He said reaching out to Anders. Anders simply nodded and help his friend out. Varric huffed and frowned having to be in the water. Making Anders wonder if Varric was hydrophobic. "Really? I have to hold you? Here. Stand on that large rock there." Anders said pointing the rock out. "Thanks Blondie." The two blondes seemed content at the moment as they had a bit of friendly banter. Hawke shrugged as he took his eye patch off and his boots before climbing into the water. The amount of blood that stained water red was alarming. Turns out. It was indeed mostly his own. Good thing he was down stream from the others. First thing Hawke did was undo the tie in his hair and just dunked his head under the water. Hawke was more obsessed with getting his hair cleaned out than actually washing off. Anders and Varric stared at him. "Looks like Killer couldn't be bothered with removing the armor..." Varric said lowly. Fenris sat at the side of the river. He had merely dipped a cloth in and was simply cleaning himself off with it. Feeling too uncomfortable with the idea of showing the others what he looked like. He looked over to Hawke. The large human was determined to sit there in the water and just run his hands through his hair. Pulling the razor wire out gently from the mass of tangles. At one point Hawke took a breath and went underwater to deal with it. He remain an impressive three minutes before coming back up to breathe. Hawke let out a slight cough.

A few minutes later Anders and Varric were sitting on the bank as they put their clothing back on. Though Hawke remained in the water still tending to his hair. It truly was a strange sight to see the man obsess over something. After a lengthy amount of time Hawke walked out of the water and wringed his hair out. He took his sweet precious time about it too. What was he? A woman? Varric chuckled. He never seen a man so devoted to his hair. It kind of took the scare factor about Hawke down a few notches. The three of them watched as Hawke carefully ran the brush, he carried with him, gently through his hair. Making the trio wonder just how soft Hawke's hair was and whether or not it was silky as well as fun to play with. As tempting as it was. They didn't wish to find out. Hawke continued this for a good amount of time. Seems he was pissed off about his hair being a mess. Maybe if the Expedition had brought a hair dresser down there with them to tend to Hawke he might have not went crazy. They were just simply awed by how much care Hawke put into his hair. It was also a bit unnerving to see a guy like Hawke primping his own hair like a sodding diva. A very dangerous, demented, and violence hungry diva.

After Hawke was done with his nealry hour long primping session with his hair. Which looked absolutely fabulous now. If Varric and Anders had to say anything. Hawke reaffixed his eye patch and began to walk along the trail once again. With his followers in tow. It wouldn't be long to the city. They would be there by tomorrow after noon.

* * *

 _A/N Thought I would end the Deep Roads arch finally. It was sure fun writing.  
Also We will find out what befalls Hawke's sweet sister Bethany.  
And also how Hawke would react. _

_Side note. Fenris has some issues about his feelings and Hawke wants to look like a fabulous murderer.  
Also Figured Fenris would talk in his native tongue when he is shocked enough by something._

 _Latin translation in order of appearance_

 _Damnant quod Fenris. Adepto a apprehendent te. Sicut erat somnium! Somnium... Ubi Hawke. - Damn it Fenris. Get a hold of yourself. It was just a dream! A dream... Where Hawke._

 _Quo irrumabo enim mali est cum mihi? - The fuck is wrong with me?_

 _Quid enim mali est cum mihi? Quid sum ego sumnium talium rerum?- What is wrong with me? Why am I dreaming of such things?_

 _Quid ego de meditentur? Ego non patitur cogitare talium rerum de, Hawke... Dixit sibi. Ego sum nullius studium ulla magis. - What am I talking about? I can't allow myself to think of such things about Hawke... He said himself. I am of no interest anymore._


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28 Sweet Sister**

 _A/N This chapter focuses on Bethany and her relationship with her big Brother, Hawke._  
 _Also side note. I will let you guys conjure up how Hawke reacted upon hearing the news._  
 _Also feel free to imagine what happens between Hawke and Cullen :3_

* * *

Bethany watched her mother cry in brother's room. Mother was worried about brother. Bethany missed him too. The Expedition was only to be a two weeks. But it has nearly been an entire month. Gamlen didn't care that Brother was gone. But it hurt Mother so bad. Mother was worried that Brother was dead. Bethany didn't believe that. Her brother was too stubborn and strong to let anything try to kill him. Bethany had felt something a few days ago. She heard her brother's voice in her dreams. He was crying and hurt. Recalling the dream caused a shiver to run down Bethany's spine. Bethany wished she could have reached out to him. She had tried but it was like he was trapped somewhere. She couldn't reach him. Even if it was a dream. She gave a sad sigh as she looked up to see her Mother sitting on his bed. Bethany walked in and sat down beside her mother. Mother missed brother just as much as Bethany did. She missed being able to talk to him when he came in every night. Brother had always brought something back with him just for her. Shiny trinkets and pieces of jewelry. And sometimes a book that he would find. Poor brother could barely write his own name. If he could read. He would have thought twice than to hand her a smutty book. The priceless look on her brother's face when she read it to him was the funniest thing she ever seen. Her brother had blushed a deep purple shade of red when he had snatched the book from her. Saying if he had known he would never had asked her to read it to him. Bethany had laughed so hard. She had knew what it was but just wanted to see her brother flustered for once than pissed off. After all Brother always enjoyed having Bethany read to him. And Bethany always enjoyed reading to her older brother. It made her feel like the bigger sibling. She smiled as she remembered those moments she shared with her brother. Her mother's whining brought her back to the current place in time. It was still morning here. She and her mother had slept in big brother's bed again. Bethany knew it would seem weird to do such a thing. But the bed smelled like him. So it was more comforting than sleeping in the other room. Uncle Gamlen had cheered when Brother didn't show up on the day he was suppose to return. Declaring it was one less mouth to feed. Especially considering how much brother had to eat to maintain his strength. Uncle had also wanted to sell some of the things brother had in his room. She remembered how her uncle tried to climb to the large shelf over brother's bed. Trying to get at all his stuff. If only uncle knew there was no real value for those things. Bethany sighed again as she held her mother. Her mother was tired for having worried about brother for so long. "Mother. Please I am sure Brother will be back soon. I just know it. Try to get some rest. Please mother?" Bethany said softly to her Mother. Her mother nodded as she laid down on the large bed. "I want my baby boy back..." Mother said sniffing. "I am sure he is coming back mother. Just have faith." Bethany said as she got up and covered her mother. Who was still tired. She quickly fell back to sleep. Bethany walked out of the room and closed the door. Bethany let out another sigh. Mother wasn't the only one broken up about brother not returning. Bethany wanted to sit in her bother's room on her own. But she would not disturb her mother. Bethany looked around the house as she walked from the door. She wondered if she should head to the Hanged Man. She didn't think about going just to drink. She wondered if she could get into his room again. Though she didn't wish to go there today. Aveline had said something about a templar group patrolling around today. Maybe it would be wiser to stay in the house today.

However. Against her better judgment, Bethany grabbed her staff and walked out of the house. She figured that if she was quick about it. She could be at the Hanged Man before the Templars make their rounds. She honestly had no idea that Knight Captain Cullen was the one leading the patrol. Bethany scurried her way to the Hanged Man and went in. She quickly made her way up to the second floor and towards her brother's room. She checked the door and found it to be locked. She was glad that her brother gave her a spare key. She unlocked it and went in as she closed the door. Not aware of the Templar who saw her. Luckily Isabela saw her too and distracted the young recruit. Bethany let out a sigh as she looked around the dark room. She remembered when her brother first brought her here. Despite her brother eyeing every other patron warily. He seemed happy at the idea of not being near his uncle. Bethany walked over to the bed and sat down. She silently wondered how her relationship with her brother looked to others. After all. Her brother wasn't the one to show affection in public with anyone but her. She remembered when they had first came here. Nearly every drunk tried to hit on her. Asking for her to go with them into the back. Her brother had growled at them and pulled her into his lap saying she was taken. When they had asked who he was. He merely stated. He was her brother. And he wasn't allowing anyone to harm his 'precious' little sister. Back then she had just laughed. But now that she thought about it. It looked rather. Strange. Even if Bethany practically grew up sitting in her brother's lap. She had always done it because she enjoyed being held by her brother. It didn't seem over affectionate to her until now. Considering all the weird looks she had gotten. But no one wished to try her brother. She missed that though. Being able to sit there in her brother's lap like she always did when she was younger. It made her feel safe. Her brother may not have smiled a lot but just being his arms she knew that he cared for her. After all it was the only thing he was willing to do. And she knew such acts of affection was hard for him. She knew her brother wasn't a gentle person. He had no idea how to be gentle with touch. Though that made her remember how he tried when she had nightmares. Even when she was younger. Every time she had a bad dream she went straight to her big brother. He had always looked at her strangely but he always comforted her to the best of his ability. Even allowing her to sleep beside him. It helped the bother really. She would feel safe and he would not toss and turn. In truth. Bethany knew that her brother was thankful for it. Even she grew up past the age of being afraid of the dark and the monsters in it. She would always wake up in the middle of the night and go to her big brother. She even seen Carver do it too. Her big brother would shrug and let her in. And if Carver was there. He just let them both in. It had always been this way. She remembered why they did it. Their father told them that if they were ever afraid. They were to go to their brother. Because Father wouldn't be around forever. Bethany never understood this. Neither did Carver. They had just simply listened to their father. Though now that Bethany thought about. It was probably due to trying to help her brother not lose himself. And Father's eventual death. She sighed as she laid down. Was it wrong to wish her brother was there to hold her like when he did when she was younger? She curled up on the plush cover and snuggled into the pillow. Soon falling asleep.

Bethany awoke a few hours later. She looked around almost forgetting where she was. Her eyes widened. What time was it? She need to get home before mother got mad at her. She got up quickly and ran to the door. Closing it but forgetting to lock as she went down the stairs to the main floor of the Handed Man. She said bye to Corff who tried to wave her not to leave. The barman tried to get around the bar and the drunk patrons. But he couldn't get to Bethany before she went out the door. His face fell as he swallowed. She would have been safer in the Hanged Man than going outside. Outside the tavern. Bethany made her way quickly towards her house. Running into Knight Captain Cullen. "Oh I'm so sorry!" She said before she paled. She dodged past him and ran up the stairs frantically. Cullen frowned and followed her. Bethany busted into the house and saw her mother. "Bethany. Where have you been?" Leandra asked before she gasped at seeing a templar stop the door from closing. Cullen walked in with a few other templars. "I am afraid I have to take you into custody. Mage." Cullen said as he walked towards Bethany. What happened next was expected. After an hour. Bethany watched as her mother fell to the floor crying as she was made to leave the house. She saw her uncle kneel down beside Mother. Comforting her. Bethany held her head down as she was trying not to cry.

A few hours later Bethany found herself on a boat going to the gallows. She wished her brother was here to tell her it will be fine. It made her curious though. Her brother never liked magic. In fact he **hated** it with ever fiber of his being. But. He was always gentle with her. Even if he couldn't bare to be. He was as gentle as a scorpion. Content and willing to put up with your presence but the moment you try to touch him. He would harshly react. Not always with the bite of a sting but with the slash of his claws. That was how he was with magic. He would acknowledge it but he hated the feel of it on his body. But he would always allow her to tend to him with magic. Because he could trust her. Bethany smiled sadly. Maybe her brother would show up at the Gallows. Or he really is dead like Mother thought. Though Bethany had no idea that her brother was just now walking into Kirkwall.

As the boat landed at the Gallows. Cullen was ushering the apostates off. When Bethany walked past him. She had stopped. "Mister Templar. If you run into my brother. Please tell him where I am." Bethany asked lightly as she looked at him. Cullen gave a sigh. "I suppose. What is his name?" He asked. "My Brother goes by Hawke." She said lowly. Missing the shocked expression on the blonde captain's face. "Wait. You're Hawke's sister?" Cullen asked as he backed up a bit. Bethany nodded as she walked past an older templar with ice blue eyes, a bald head, and a white beard. The man seemed to stare at her as she walked away with the other templars. "Sir Alrik. Please do not stare at the recruits." Cullen shot at the elder Templar. "I just find it interesting is all Captain. Her brother is a force to be reckoned with. Quite dangerous..." Alrik said as he trailed off. "Hawke helped our cause. Leave his sister alone." Cullen said as he turned to walk away. Sir Alrik simply smirked before resuming his tasks.

It took a few minutes for Bethany to calm herself down. She looked around the room she was to live in from now on. She had no roommate. So far the Circle didn't seem that bad. It was rather nice. A part of her felt like it was truly freeing not having to run from the templars anymore. Though part of her wished to be back home. Giving her mother a hug and being held in her brother's embrace. Bethany sighed as she sat down on the small bed. She shivered lightly as she let out a shallow breath. Cullen stood by the door and looked at her. "It will be fine. I am sure you will get use to the arrangements soon. And-" Cullen trialed off as another templar ran up to him. "Sir! We have a problem in the Gallows' court yard!" The templar said frantically. Cullen turned towards him. "What kind of problem?" Cullen asked hurrying out of the room. Bethany got up and walked to the door listening. "Some dark haired man demands to see you. He assaulted several templars!" The other templar said as he ran. Bethany quickly followed them.

Her eyes widened as she saw her brother standing in the courtyard being calmed down by a group of templars. Cullen ran up to him and demanded to know what the commotion was about. Bethany could hear her brother's dark voice cut through the air as silence fell around the courtyard. She could not stand there and simply watched. She missed him so much. She bolted from where she was standing and ran up to him. "Brother! You're alive!" She screamed happily as she jumped at him. Her brother turned towards her and put his arms out. Bethany felt her brother wrap his arms around her small frame. She felt her brother freeze. She knew he hated public affection. But she didn't care. She had missed him dearly. Even though he didn't approve of this public display. He still held her close. She missed the savage look in his eye as he stared at Cullen. But she heard something that she wished he would not have said out loud. "My Sister is pure... She best remain pure, templar." Her brother growled. Bethany's face turned a bright shade of red. "Brother! Why?!" She squeaked as she hid her face in his hair. "Because... I want to make it clear none of these fucking templars damage you." He said simply glaring at the templars. Namely Cullen. Cullen frowned and walked up to him. Bethany felt her brother's hold tighten. "Serah Hawke. You know you could of just asked to see me instead of assaulting the recruits." Cullen said with a deep frown. Hawke gave a viscous snarl. "First off templar. I have been trapped underground for nearly a fucking month. Betrayed and left to die in some wretched pit! Then I come back to find that my Sister has been taken from me and my Mother. I am very close to committing a fucking murder in your ranks. Had I not have some semblance of respect for you damn order... I would have already done such!" Hawke barked. "I... See..." Cullen thought a moment recalling what had happened earlier that day. "Listen. Can we talk in my office?" Cullen asked. Hawke glared and narrowed his eye at the templar. Bethany felt her brother shove her back far enough so he could walk. Bethany latched onto his arm and her brother didn't seem to push her away. A few minutes later Bethany and her brother were standing in the knight captain's room. Cullen sighed.

"Considering all the help you have done for the templar cause. I won't charge your family for harboring your sister. Nor will they serve jail time." Cullen sighed as he leaned against his desk.

"You better not. You have no idea how bad I wanted to come here and kill you lot. But they managed to calm my rage before I could get out of Lowtown. Be thankful for their involvement." Hawke warned.

Cullen swallowed. "I know you are rather dangerous. But you do see and treat magic like we do."

"You do not know me, Templar. I treat magic much differently than you and your order does. So do not compare yourself to me." Hawke snarled. Cullen nodded.

"Well. You do know that your sister can not go back. The Knight Commander will not allow such a thing."

"I am well aware of that. Bethany. Mind waiting outside as I have a word with Cullen?" Hawke asked his little sister.

Bethany nodded and walked out of the room and waited. And waited. And waited. She sat quietly in a chair by the table near the door. She heard her brother and Cullen talk back and forth. At one point it got a bit too quiet. Suddenly a loud crash was heard on the other side of the door along with her brother letting off a sinister laugh. She turned and looked at the door when it opened. A dark red faced Cullen walked past her with his head down as he walked hurriedly off to Maker knows where. Her brother walked out with a sick grin on his face. "Good news. My sweet little sister. The Knight Captain has allowed you to spend the night with me. Under advisement that I do not bring you home. You will be staying with me in my suite at the Hanged Man. I will bring you back in the morning." He said lowly as his gauntleted hand ran cautiously through her hair as if smoothing it back. Bethany's eyes grew big as she hugged her brother. "Like when I had nightmares?" She asked. Her brother merely hummed as he patted her head. With that said Bethany walked behind her brother and left the gallows. She knew she was going to head back there but it did not matter at the moment. She was with her dark knight of a brother. Though she kind of wished there was someone else like that out there who cared for her. Though her brother would never allow such contact between her and some stranger. Bethany hummed happily knowing that she would be able to spend time with her brother before she would stay at her new home the Circle.

Half an hour later.

Bethany walked into the Hanged Man behind her brother as they made their way up the stairs. Everyone was shocked to see her brother was back. As they made it to the door of his suite did Bethany notice how tired her brother truly was. His skin was paler than usual. There was a large dark circle around his eye. His hair was even lacking the fullness it usually held. There was blood slowly dripping from under his eye patch and hair. He also seemed thinner. Then she remembered. He said he was betrayed in the Deep Roads. Bethany then realized how severely drained her brother was. She wanted to cry. They walked into the crimson room and she noticed her brother stop. "Why is the door unlocked and why is that Bastard Elf here?" He growled lowly. Bethany peeked around him to see Fenris sprawled over the bed. Sound asleep. Her big brother threw his axe into the floor boards. Startling the elf awake. Fenris sat up and stared curiously at them. Before giving an awkward cough. "I... Did not feel like hiking all the way up to my mansion..." He said honestly before flopping down back onto the bed. Bethany frowned worriedly as she glanced at her brother. Afraid of what he would do to Fenris. But she was surprised when her brother just shrug and walk over to the bed. Fenris glared at him. "Move it bastard elf." Hawke said shoving Fenris off to the other side. Bethany held back a giggle. Fenris growled a hiss at Hawke. Though he did look to Bethany. As if curious. That small distraction was enough for Hawke to yank him from the bed and deposit him to the floor. "Bed now Bethany. Like a good little sister." Her brother demanded. Bethany nodded and walked over before sitting down. Fenris eyed her and Hawke. "What. Is going on?" He asked.

"My sister is going to spend the night with me." Hawke stated evenly as he turned from Fenris and took his eye patch off. Bethany got on her knees and reached up to feel beneath her brother's hair.

"You said you were betrayed Brother?" She asked gently as she used her to ease the pain she knew must have been there. Her brother physically flinched from the magic.

"Yeah... That dwarf's fucking brother..." Hawke growled. Fenris leaned against the bed and laid his head back.

"That was why you were gone for so long..." Bethany began to lightly tear up. The thought of her brother being left in some dark tomb of a pit.

"Elf... Why don't you go down stairs and get a drink or something." Hawke growled.

"Are you going to lock me out?" Fenris questioned.

"No. I need to speak with my sister. Now get out." Hawke demanded. Fenris gave a yawn before shrugging and left out of the room. Hawke caught his sister giving him a weird look. "What..."

"You like him." She said with a smile. Her brother frowned harshly at this.

"I hate the bastard..." He said with a bit of force.

"Why do you hate him?" Bethany prodded. Her brother flushed a light purple.

"Must you pry Sister?" He huffed.

"Because. If you didn't like him you would have thrown him out. Also your avoiding the question!"

"Does it matter? He is homophobic... Now drop it sister." Her brother warned with a growl.

"Alright. Alright. Let's change the subject. If something happens to me... And I..." She trailed off when Fenris walked back into the room. Bethany leaned in and whispered the rest of the sentence into her brother's ear. She felt her brother stiffen but he nodded. With that said and the assurance that her brother will keep the promise. She got back on the bed and sat down. She watched as her brother walked into the other room. She then focused on Fenris. He simply looked at her. She gave him a knowing smile. It caused the elf to falter a bit and sputter from the bottle he was drinking from. "Why are you smiling at me like that?" He questioned. "No reason Fenris. I am glad that my brother has a friend now. Can you take care of him?" She asked. Fenris looked confused. "He can take care of himself." He stated. With that her brother walked back in with a light tunic. Bethany set her staff down and crawled under the covers. "It's like a sleep over!" She squeaked happily. "Yeah... But the elf sleeps on the floor." He huffed. Fenris merely shrugged. "There are extra blankets in the other room. If you are staying that is." Hawke asked looking at Fenris. Fenris nodded before going into the other room. Bethany looked at her brother who pushed the cover aside and laid down beside her. He laid on his back as usual. She scooted closer and gave him a kiss. He merely rolled his eye. Bethany smiled and cuddled up next to him. Playing with a long lock of his dark hair. Her brother gave an odd huff of a laugh. As if amused. She soon fell asleep.

* * *

 _A/N How Bethany sees her big brother. So yeah I did this because I was unsure how to write it._  
 _Also Thought the part where Hawke does nothing and not even react to their sister being taken was bullshit._  
 _Also I didn't know how to describe it. So it is up to you to image how our Hositle Hawke reacted. Also Fenris... Really?_


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 Mother and Son**

 _A/N This focuses on Leandra._

* * *

Leandra got up out of the bed she was sleeping in and sighed heavily. Giving a glance to empty bed near her own with a sad look in her eyes. It has been a week since Bethany was taken to the Circle. Though even if her son did come back. She still felt like she had lost another child. When it had first happened. She was distruaght over the fact that all her children were taken from her. Having believed her son had died since he was gone for nearly a month. But then her baby showed up an hour later after Bethany was taken away. He had looked so tired. Drained. And further more. Starved. He was a bit cross as normal. But his face had paled far more than his skin tone could possibly allow when the hurt expression crossed his eye as Leandra told her baby that his sister was taken. She didn't wish to remember the rage he let lose upon hearing the news. She remembered everything but the look of true pain written across his face. She couldn't bare to recall it. She shook her head trying to clear her mind as she made her way out of the room. She had awoken in the ealry night. The day had ended not too long ago. Her brother Gamlen told her to get some sleep. Her son was out late again. Just like he has been for the whole week since coming back. He would go visit his sister near nightfall and sometimes left to go prowl the streets. She knew because Aveline told her. Her baby boy wasn't himself. Something in him had changed. She assumed whatever it was. Was probably caused by the Deep Roads venture. Though her son had said it was successful despite being left to die. He also said that they stumbled upon another man from the expedition but he didn't make it. Leandra was shocked to know that he was able to control his impulses around three other people for so long. She knew he wasn't right in the head at times. Malcolm's death proved that. Sure. She painted a pretty picture to anyone willing to listen to her about her son. But deep down she knew that what happened to him so long ago changed him. For the worst. Though that still didn't stop her from trying to make him have friends. She knew that having friends could temper him enough to do what was right. And knowing he didn't turn on his friends. She knew he was getting better. She knew he was strong all those years ago. His will to live on even after what happened to him. His drive to be strong enough to protect them. He always tried his best to do what was right. Even if he was wrong. Thinking of him. Leandra stopped and looked up. After feeling the cold embrace, slick with what she knew must of been blood. His dark torrent eye staring down at her. She gave a weak smile and ran her hand along the sharpened metal of his eye patch.

Leandra figured that any other mother would be horrified by such a display violence bing given off by their own child. Her. She had grown use to it. His anger was justified after all. But it was never truly directed at her or anyone in the family. She returned the hug as she let off a sad sigh. Her son shifted to look her in the eye. "Something bothering you... Mother?" He spoke slowly. His ability to comfort was near non-existant. She smiled at him none the less. He was trying. As always. It made her proud to know he was trying so hard. Everyone might see him as some sort of monster. But in her eyes. This was her baby boy. That same wide smiling little boy who loved his family more than anything in Thedas. He also loved his friends back then. Other wise he would have never tattooed their little team symbol upon his face. Though even if that boy was dead and gone now. She still saw him in her son's eye. She remembered back when he was timid and shy. Sometimes. She wondered where that boy went. Leandra was brought back from her musings as her son gave a deep hum. She shook her head and looked up at him. "Again. Is something bothering you?" He son repeated as if pressuring her. Leandra pushed away from her son far enough to look up at him. "Just... Thinking... Of you baby." She said. Seeing his eye narrow at her before he gave a sigh. "You should be asleep, Mother..." He droned as he released her. He silently stared at her as he breathed slowly. "You know I wait till you come home, Baby." She said with a sad smile. Her son tilts his head as if trying to understand. She was sure he didn't understand her need to know he was okay. "I want you to spend the day with me again." She said slowly. He hummed a bit as he let out a breath. "It is Saturday tomorrow. Isn't it?" He asked without much interest. Leandra nodded her head. "But this time I want to go with you somewhere." She said with a smile. "Alright. Mother. I will spend time with you as you desire." He said with curt nod. He moved to walk to his room. Leandra stopped her son. "Can you let me?" She half asked. Knowing he would understand. He remained quiet before answering. "If you wish, Mother." He walked into his room.

Leandra looked at her nightclothes. She needed to get rid of these. The blood had came off of him. She felt it fall onto her from his head. He was bleeding again. That wound was so old. It had never healed properly. She sighed as she went into his room. He was sitting patiently on his bed. Waiting for her. She walked over to him. She looked even into his eye. She could see how tired he was just by looiking into his eye. Her son never showed much emotion. He only showed a sick smile when he struggled with his thoughts. Mostly angry at the world. At himself. She knew how much he didn't like looking at himself. The only reason he broke the mirror in his room into small shards. She gave a sigh. "Jake... Baby. Please talk to me..." She pleaded as she moved his hair out of the way and slowly pulled the eye patch off. The blood that had gathered underneath it spilt down his face. His tongue snaked out and licked at it, probably subconsciously. She set the twisted metal on the stand beside her son's bed. She looked at the old wound and went to clean it. As she done this, she talked to him.

"Jake. I wish you would talk to me." She said.

"I did talk to you Mother. What more do you wish for me to say?" He droned lowly his eye focused on nothing.

"Anything Dear. You used to confide in me..." She said sadly as she cleaned the blood away.

"Yes... But I have things I need to keep to myself as well Mother. I do not mean to be rude."

"Oh sweet baby... What is this about? You have hardly said anything since you came back from the Expedition..."

"I had to think on what had transpired below ground. What I do know is that I kept my promise to you." He smiled slightly. But it was a false smile and she knew it.

"Jake... It is easy to fake a smile when you have been doing it for a while..." She said. His smile faded.

"True. Yet you perfer me to smile. It gives you some sort of hope for me. Even if I am a lost cause..." He slowly said.

"Well... I am proud that you kept my promise. And you are not a lost cause. Never say that you are." She scolded a bit.

"So you have said many times before, Mother. But do you truely believe that?" Her son said glaring sharply at her. Getting Leandra to flinch for a brief moment.

"I truly do. You are strong enough to overcome this. I know you are, Jake." She said with a slight tremble in her voice.

Her son's eye widened. It seems he has heard this phrase before. She saw as he closed his eye tightly. It must have hit a nerve in him. His body twitched gently. Leandra finished cleaning the old wound and began to wrap it in clean bandages. She saw that her son kept his eye closed firmly. He let out a low growl. She pushed back his hair further so she can look at his face fully. Slowly his eye opened again. His eye showed some sort of emotion she had never seen in his eye in such a long time. Remembering one thing her own mother told her for so long. The person's eyes are the windows to their soul. And in that moment she saw little boy. Cold, alone, and depressed. The look in his eye made her want to cry. She has only seen that emotion when he was still very young. Back when he had both eyes. Both bright with light in them. They had shined with that emotion so strongly. She had believed it would never had vanished. But it did. Now nearly two decades later does she see again. Her hope for him was restored as she smiled. But that emotion vanished as soon as it showed up. Her son's eye growing cold and dark once again. Her smile faded. Her son's dark voice cut through to her. "Why do you stare me like that, Mother?" His voice low and uneasy. Leandra held back her tears. "I... Just saw something made me happy is all." She answered as she breathed deep. "How can looking at me make you happy... Unless you finally realized watching others suffer is fun.." He said as a sick smirk played on his lips. Leandra shook her head. "I could never find watching others hurt as enjoyable... I wish you didn't either. I wish you were happy. Even if just for a moment. Happy to be with friends. Happy to be with family." Leandra said as she began to cry. "I... Am such a disappointment to you... Aren't I Mother?" Leandra gasped at hearing her son say this. "I can't be happy. Unless I hurt people. I enjoy watching them bleed... I know... You wish I wasn't like this... I don't want to be like this! But I can not help myself... I try. AND. I try. To be the son you wanted. But I can't. I just can't. I can't be what you want me to be Mother... It would have been so much better if I had just died all those years ago... Then you wouldn't be disappoint in me... " Her son growled out as he clawed at his own face. Causing blood to mix and fall with the tears that fell from his eye. His teeth bared as he let out a choked breath. He stood up suddenly as his held his eye closed tightly. "I'm sorry, Mother. I am not what you wanted... I never was... But I can't..." He trailed off. Leandra tried to force her own tears away as she pulled her son into an embrace. "I could never be disappointed in you! You try! And that is what matters... I know I can't wish you to be different. You are what I wanted in a son! You're brave, strong, honest, and loyal! I know you have trouble. But that is why I believe in you because I know you can overcome this." Leandra said trying to calm her son. "How... can you say such things... Knowing what I am..." He snarled as he tried to control his emotions while his guantleted fingers were digging into his skin further drawing more blood to fall along with his tears. Locking his teeth together till it must have hurt. Leandra knew her son was right. No sane mother would wish to have a son like him. They would have abandoned him to his fate long ago. And those who did keep such a son like him were abusive. But her. She couldn't bare the though of leaving him alone. She was so close to him. Did everything in her power to make sure he was loved. She taught right from wrong. She taught him to be proper. To respect women. To honest no matter what. To be devoted his family. He was what she wanted to be. And she was proud that he done everything he could do to live up to her expectations. She was proud. Even though she knew that his mind would get lost. She let out a breath as she counted down. These bouts of his only last for a few moments he would go back to his nuetral exspression and be void of emoiton once again. He would talk and act as if his outburst never happened. She was not sure if he remembered his outbursts of depression. All she knew is that he didn't care anymore once it was over. He would simply go about his business as if it never happened to begin with it. She fet his body stop trembling. Felt him take a deep breath before letting it out. He pulled his hand from his face. The deep claw marks he dug into his skin would seal up like usual. She would never understand what he was. She just knew. That he was her son. And that is all that truly mattered to her.

Leandra released her son and looked up at him. Watching in silence as the blood reversed back into his body and his skin slowly sealed. She wished she knew what he was. His eye was half lidded and there was a neutral exspression on his face. She watched as he tilted head and looked at her. She felt like he wasn't going to respond to anymore of her words. He normally didn't. She waited for him to say what he always said after such bouts. "Are you alright, Mother?" He asked. She forced a smile and nodded. Again she was unsure if he truly remembered anything. He never spoke it. She would just push it aside ike she has always done for years. "I am alright, Jake." She said. Her son frowned. "Alright. I am a bit worried is all." She said honestly this time. Her son nodded and took his armored gloves and vambraces off. She decided to speak up before he could usher her back to her own room. "Jake. Sweetie. I want to watch you sleep." She said. Her son let out a yawn. "As you wish Mother..." He said as he laid down. Allowing her to cover him up. Leandra felt her son's eye linger on her as she pulled up a chair and then set a hand on his head. She watched him look at her for a moment before he closed his eye. She watched as his breathing evened out and slow get to where he barely made a noise. She sighed. She could never understand how he was able to do that. It was like he stopped breathing. She leaned closer to listen to his shallow breathes. She remained there for a few hours before she let off a yawn of her own. She stood up and thought about going to her own bed. She stopped and sat back down. She silently pondered on what she should do. She wished to stay her with her son but also wished to lay down and get sleep now that her son was here. She ended up falling asleep in the chair beside her son's bed. Unaware that her son's breathing was getting louder. His deep sea eye opening to stare at her.

The next morning Leandra awoken in her own bed. She sat up and looked around confused. Didn't she fall asleep in her son's room? She sat on the side of the bed and rubbed her eyes. "Morning Mother..." Her son's voice said. She looked to see her son leaning against the wall. The wood panels groaned from his weight. Leandra looked up to her son. He answered her before she could speak. "I put you in your own bed once you fell asleep. I have set up everything for you. You wish for me to spend the day with you. I said yes even though a follower of mine wished for my presence. But you did say you wished to go with me." He said slowly. Leandra stood up and looked at her son. "Oh. Who are you going to met? I am sure you can spend time with me some other time. You should be with your friends." She said with a smile. Her son frowned. "They are not friends, Mother. Besides. I have said I will spend the day with you. Also. Did you not wish to meet them at one point?" He said tilting his head. "Oh Jake sweetie. I doubt you would be able to do anything with an old woman like me hanging around you and your... Friends..." She said. Not sure what else to call her son's companions. "I doubt it. One of them is far older than they look. It should be entertaining and if you do not like it. Then I will bring you home post haste." Her son said. Leandra smiled and slowly nodded. She watched her son walk out of the room. She looked down at what her son had picked. The clothes looked like armor. She suddenly wondered if where they were going was not a safe place. She was about to ask when she heard her son's voice. "Do not fret, Mother. You will be well protected. It is just down the road. At the Hanged Man." He said through the door. Leandra sighed. She didn't like the idea of having to be armored. But she knew her son wished for her to be protected. So she put the clothes on. It was rather regal as well as durable. It was like a dress but armored. She wondered where her son got this. She shrugged and walked out of her room. "Uncle is already gone. Probably at his favorite hang out like usual..." Her son said as his eye trailed off to the side as he gave off a disgusted noise. Leandra sighed before she followed after her son out the door and locked it.

She walked right beside her son as she entered the Hanged Man. The noise died down suddenly as everyone went quiet. Leandra was suprised by this. Until she noticed everyone looking at her son. They were afraid of him. She could see it in their eyes. The only one who waved at him was Corff the barman. She followed after her son up the stairs. They stopped in front of a steel door. Hawke pushed open the door and walked in. Leandra was about to question why he didn't knock until she heard someone talk. "There you are Killer. Oh I see you brought your Mother. Hello Madam. I am Varric Tethras. One of the other guys who got left to die in the Deep Roads..." The dwarf said as his smile became forced. Leandra walked in after her son and nodded at the dwarf. She remembered him. He was there when she had walked up to her son. Varric had looked past Leandra and greeted the next people that walked up. "Good morning, Aveline. And good morning Broody." Varric said his smile came back normal. Leandra moved out of the way and stood queitly. She felt out of place in her son's friend's place. "Leandra. How are you doing and why are you here?" Aveline asked. Leandra perked up at seeing Aveline. "I wanted to follow my son today. See what kind of trouble he gets into. Even though I know he is an angel." She joked. "Pfft. Angel yeah right! Sorry but Killer is not an angel..." Varric snickered. Hawke rolled his eye. Aveline ignored the dwarf as she walked to sit down. Leandra looked over to the elf known as Fenris. She smiled widely as she seen him. He looked at her and bowed slightly. She had been teaching him to read and write. It made her feel like she was teaching her own son how to read and write even if her son was incapable of learning how to read. She thought that Fenris and her son acted similar. She noticed that Fenris gave her son an odd look. Her son ignored the elf for the most part. Fenris looked to be slightly hurt but he shrugged it off quickly. Though he still looked at her son. Her attention was broken when a sweet voice started up. "Hello! You must be Hawke's mother! You are so pretty! Does he get his long pretty hair from you? Your hair is also very long. Is it soft and silky to touch? Is Hawke's hair like your's? He won't let me touch his hair. Can I touch your hair?" The small evhen girl babbled. Leandra's son gave a growl. Leandra though just thought this girl was strange yet cute. "I. Yes my hair is long. And yes I am Jake's Mother." She said. The elf girl loked confused. "Whose Jake?" She asked. "Daft Dalish mage... That is Hawke's first name..." Fenris remarked coldly. Leandra's son smirked a bit at that. All the elf girl said was, "Oh. My name's Merrill!" She chirped. Leandra smiled. "So Killer's first name is Jake... It fits!" Varric said excitedly. Leandra was going to say something when a dark haired woman walked in. "Oh Hello. Who brought their mother?" The Ravaini asked. "Hawke did." Fenris replied. "All Right then. Name's Isabela. Nice to meet you. Mama Hawke." Isabela giggled. The dark haired pirate was suddenly asked to move. "I am tired like a damn dog... Move Isabela so I can sit down." The blonde warden said as he walked past Isabela. He looked at Leandra and waved. "Hi... Hawke's Mom?" He asked randomly. Leandra nodded. "Figured. Seen you when we left for the Deep Roads... Name's Anders." He said with a yawn. "Move it Mage..." Leandra's son growled. Anders looked at him and pouted. Though the blonde mage made no move to do anything. "So Mother. You have now met my followers. I just came here for the information about the treasure from the Dwarf. He set up everything. Getting bidders and buyers for the stuff." He said looking at the dwarf in question. "Yeah yeah. Look some of the stuff has already been sold. You should be getting the proceeds sometime tomorrow. Alright, Killer?" Varric said as he leaned back in his seat. "Now Mother can buy decent food other than the garbage Uncle Gamlen calls food." Her son said. "Jake. Sweetie. Thank you for introducing me to your friends. I wish to go home now. I am so proud of you." Leandra said with a smile. Her son was queit as he slowly nodded and left the room without saying anything. "I don't know how Hawke can be sweet but I am glad you are finally getting out to get some air, Leandra. Be careful and I hope you get your estate back." Aveline said with a smile. Leandra nodded. "It was wonderful meeting all of you. Bye." Leandra said as she walked out of the room to find her son waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

They both remained quiet on the walk back home. Leandra was so happy to know her son had friends. She smiled happily for him knowing that he would never do that on his own. Having people he can talk to. It filled her with so much hope that maybe he can finally be healed.

* * *

 _A/N And there we go. leandra's relationship with her son. She finally got to meet all his friends err companions!_  
 _And Thus is the ending of Act 1! The next chaters will be he years in between._  
 _Leave me a comment on what you want to see. Because I have so many things planned! One involves sweet Bethany ^w^_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30 Primal Curiosity**

 _A/N This focuses on Fenris and Hawke. Also If the title says_ _ **Primal.**_ _It will concern Hawke a lot._  
 _P.S. The End of this chapter contains a bit of graphic violence and brutality._

* * *

-Focus on Hawke-

It was nearing nightfall in Kirkwall. Hawke stared out to the moving water beneath the boat as it sailed back from the Gallows. He had just met with his sister. He frowned a bit. She seems happy not having to be running anymore. When he had arrived there. She met him with such excitement. Said she had passed her Harrowing. Whatever the Void that was. He let out a sigh as he leaned over the railing of the boat. His hair falling past his shoulders and down the length of the railing. It softly blew along with the wind. Hawke watched his hair for a moment before looking back at the dark water. The water reflected the last lights of daylight and the clouds high above. The wind was cool as it carried the scent of salt and spray. Hawke silently wondered about what he was to do now. For once in a long time. He was simply lost on what it was he wanted to do. The feeling of loneliness crawled its way up his back. He let out a deep breath as he pushed off the railing and turned from the water. He looked about the boat to see very few other people on it. As Hawke observed them. He suddenly felt hungry then. He growled lightly as he tried to ignore the feeling pulling at the inside of him. He had refused to eat for the last few days since Bethany was taken to the circle. He had silently wondered if his mother noticed. She was very keen when it came to him. Hawke shook his head and pulled a bottle from his pack and took a long swig of the contents. The fiery burn that resulted made him shiver lightly. There had been less idiots roaming the streets at night. Seems his presence was known among the underground. Hawke frowned then. He knew he would not be able to control himself should he let that hunger get too great and demanding. He could barely recall what had happened in the Deep Roads when his mind had started to slip down there. He shook his head and looked around. Having heard someone say they were about to dock. Hawke walked towards the front of the boat as they docked and made his way off the boat. He saw very few people follow off the boat. They all seemed to shuffle about the docks. Hawke let out a shallow breath as he passed by the dock hands. He paused briefly in font of the Qunari Compound. Hawke turned to look at the wooden gate. The qunari on guard looked at him. The guard's attention then fell to the other people passing beside Hawke. Seems the qunari really didn't mind him but the others. Hawke turned from the compound and walked along up to Lowtown before he paused. He did not wish to go home as of yet. He also did not like the idea of running into those strays that insisted upon following him. Letting off a low snarl. Hawke turn on his heel and walked back towards the docks. Stopping short of the dock entrance. He turned to head off into an alleyway. Walking down a winding path to a place he has never been. It came out to a wide open area. Nothing of any true value. He looked around before heading off down another path. This path soon lead to Darktown. Hawke gave a short huff of breath as he entered into the refugee infested area. No one paid him any mind as he made his way through the street. He gave a small hum as he stopped to sit on a flight of steps. Effectively blocking the way with his body. He remained there for a while. Again the feeling of simply being lost seemed to fill him again. He growled as he took a drink from his bottle. Part of him wondered if that elf was still up. He shook his head. Giving off a hard sigh. Didn't he want to leave those strays behind? Why was he thinking of them now? He let out a snarl as he stood up and hurried off to the abandoned mine tunnel.

Once there he made his way over to a makeshift ladder. The ladder was made of large steel beams. Not exactly a ladder. But to him it was. It lead to a carved out portion in the stone wall. Hawke made his way up quickly with little effort. He remembered when he first found this place. They had just got to Kirkwall. After doing a job for the Red Iron. Hawke had wandered off. Finding this hollowed out part. He could watch the denizens of the Undercity without being seen. He sat back in the stone room. He let out slow breath. Trying to think on everything that was running through his head. He leaned against the stone and closed his eye. Images of the strays that followed him came to his mind. He frowned then. Why did he wish to see them? Why was he beginning to worry for them? Namely the damn bastard elf. Though the more he thought about. The more he hated the idea. He seemed to have grown very fond of the branded elf and even the talkative dwarf. They were starting to be like Aveline to him. Those two were beginning to actually mean something to him. He growled as he shook his head. He ran his metal clad hand up through his hair along the sharp bronzed copper spikes of his eye patch. He wished to talk to one of them. He wanted the reassurance of something. He, himself, didn't even know what. As much as he wanted to be alone. He couldn't stand the thought of it. He normally had his little sister to entertain him with her hopes and dreams. Being read to by her sweet voice. He soon started to think of her. He may have never showed it. But he truly loved his sister. He had wanted to protect her. She was usually the only one other than his mother that could calm him. That could help him think. That could help him be considerate. He kept his eye tightly closed as he tried not to cry. He missed her. He gave a huff as he ripped his eye patch off in a sudden fit of unpronounced rage that had hit him from out of no where. He snarled as he held his head. His metal claws digging into his skin. His mind began to swirl with images and words that he really didn't wish to hear nor see. He stood up as he pulled his hand away. He took a deep breath. Holding it till it began to hurt. He let it out slowly. Doing this over and over again till he calmed down. He had the urge to talk to someone. But not just anyone. He wished to speak to someone like him. Someone who knew what it was like to suffer. Someone who wouldn't make a joke of it. Or give him lawful advice. He didn't want someone to make vulgar suggestions as answers. He didn't wish to speak to someone who wouldn't even understand. Nor did he wish to hear about others' plight. He gave a growl. Why was he suddenly thinking of his friends? Wait... He gasped lowly as his eye opened wide. Did he just think of those strays as his friends? He shook his head vehemently as he backed into the wall. There was no way that he saw them as his friends. He had nothing in common with them. At least not most of them. He was so absorbed in his own mind that he did not even notice that he had left from the where he was. Already halfway out of the Undercity. He silently pondered if it was okay for something like this to happen to him. He made his way out of Darktown and took a short cut to Hightown.

-Focus on Fenris-

Up in Hightown. Fenris laid in his bed as he tried to make himself fall asleep. Having tried earlier on, just to have a strange dream about Hawke. He cringed as he sat up. He did not understand why he started having such dreams. What was making it worse was the strange feeling of being neglected by the larger man. After all, Hawke seemed to refuse to interact with him. Then again... It could have simply been the fact that the large man missed his sister. It was almost like the guy just all but shut down. Fenris gave a heavy sigh as he stood up. He walked over to the table in his room and picked up a bottle of wine that he took from the cellar. Taking a slow drink from it before letting out a sigh. He walked his way over to the window to look out a bit better up to the sky. Despite the large hole in the roof. Fenris felt the light breeze of the cool night brush softly against his face. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves as his head dipped down while his eyes closed. Though he frowned as he opened his eyes to stare into the darkness of the small private courtyard to his mansion. He leaned forward and strained his eyes to see. He waited a few moments as he continued to stare. Slowly reaching for his great sword as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the night. He gave a slight gasp. His hand falling away from his weapon as he shook his head. He must be dreaming surely. A large lone figure stood in the middle and simply stared at the sky. Fenris walked away from the window and made his way across his room. Setting down the bottle of wine on his way. He wondered if it truly was Hawke at this late hour of night. He quickly made his way down the stairs before pushing his way through the door leading through the kitchen towards the back door. He paused at the door and took a deep breath. He slowly pushed open the door and peered out into the overgrown yard swamped in the dark. Fenris leaned lightly against the door frame. Waiting for his eyes to finish adjusting to the low light. Slowly he saw the faint hint of red on Hawke's armor. Staring quietly as he slowly made his way out into the night air. It was completely out of character for Hawke to even be anywhere at this time of night without reason. Fenris silently wondered for what reason Hawke was here. Fenris continued to lightly make his way towards the larger male. Stopping a short distant from the large man. He stood there awkwardly as he pulled his arms across his chest. Now realizing he walked out towards a demented killer in nothing but light sleep wear. He swallowed at such a slip up. He began to back away slowly. Hawke's sharp breath stopped him.

Fenris straightened up and forced his arms down to either side. He took a deep breath as he forced himself to seem more indifferent about Hawke's presence than he let on. He walked towards Hawke once again. Close enough to actually reach out and touch the larger man. "Hawke... Is there a reason you are here?" He slowly asked. He heard the larger man let out another breath. "That is what I am trying to figure out, Elf." The larger man droned. Fenris huffed a bit. Slightly taken aback by the words. Hawke was always sure. Of everything. Right or wrong. "Did you plan to stalk my sleep yet again?" Fenris asked earnestly. He watched Hawke turn around to look down at him. The man's eye was shadowed by his hair. The darkness of the low light mixed with blackness of his hair gave Hawke's pale face an almost spirit-like look. If Fenris would not have ever known Hawke. He would have sworn the man was a Fade denizen. "The thought has crossed my mind. But I did not venture here to stalk you. At least not this time." Hawke said honestly as he let out a sudden pained hiss. "I must away before I entertain the idea of damaging you. The idea itself is **very** tempting..." Hawke said giving a sick twisted grin. Fenris seemed to have understood what Hawke was referring to. Fenris cringed a bit but then walked up to stand directly before Hawke rather quickly as an idea came to his mind. "I. Might be able to help you." He said a bit too excitedly. Hawke gave him an almost wary look as his smile toned down a bit. "I heard of a rumor that I was going to bring to Aveline. But... If you wish to. I can let you handle this." Fenris said as he shifted in his spot. Mere inches in front of Hawke. The man's massive body seemed to cast a heavy shadow over the small elf. Hawke gave him a sideways glare. "Really now.." The larger man seemed interested in this. "Is there any merit to this rumor?" He asked stepping towards Fenris with his teeth bared. Closing the distance between them even more. Fenris stood his ground and swallowed. "If there isn't... Then I would have wasted your time..." He said trying to stand up on par with the larger man. His face was so close to Hawke's. Fenris could feel the larger man's hair brush lightly against his face due to the light breeze of the night. "If my time is wasted... You will have to compensate me then, Fenris..." Hawke growled. A chill ran down Fenris's spine at the thought of what Hawke would do to him. Parts of the dream he had had nearly minutes ago struck into his mind then. The feeling made Fenris a bit giddy. Though Fenris was willing to risk it. Having been ignored by the larger man for the entire time after they left the Deep Roads. "Allow me to get ready and we can leave immediately." Fenris said as he backed up from Hawke. The way the larger man gazed over him was a bit unnerving. Though part of Fenris wanted the attention.

A few hours later.

Fenris stopped in front of an old warehouse quite a ways from the gates of Kirkwall. It was overgrown with foliage and looked abandoned. Or it would have. Had there not been clear evidence of someone being there. Fenris gave a sigh as he thanked the Maker that the rumor Anso told him was true. He was able to depend on the dwarf before. It was also the only reason he knew Hawke to be honest. He spared a glance behind him. Hawke had his teeth ground shut together as his hands twitched by his side. He knew Hawke enjoyed killing more than anything else. Fenris watched as Hawke pushed past him on the narrow trail. Fenris gave a slight hiss from the rough treatment but ignored it for the most part. Hawke was never considerate of others to begin with. He hurried behind the large man and paused briefly as Hawke broke the lock to the door. Walking in behind the man. Fenris stopped suddenly as he saw the cages. It caused a twisted lump to form in his stomach. Judging by the many people locked up. This was in fact a slave pen. Fenris's attention was brought back as he saw Hawke make his way to the center of the room. Hawke gave off a low growl of disappointment as he pulled his axe free. "I guess I can ruin someone's plans for the future." He said lowly as he looked around. Eyeing a lever. Hawke reached out and pulled it. The cages opened and everyone who were inside hurriedly ran. Fenris was glad that they weren't going to be sold or worse. But even he was disappointed by the lack of killing slavers. That was until he felt a strong blast of magic off where Hawke was...

-Hawke-

Hawke was beset by a suddenly blast of unwanted magic. It struck hard against the right side of his face. The magic glanced off harshly as Hawke shook his head. He turned to the one who let loose the blast. Hawke smiled as he saw it was just one person. This was going to be easy. Hawke made his way slowly over to the man. He could hear the elf behind him run up. "Stand back Elf. I got this bastard." Hawke said with a dark smile that grew wider the closer he got to the slaver mage. Hawke focused solely on the man before him not paying attention to Fenris making his way to the far side behind the mage. Clearing ignoring the order. Hawke lunged at the mage who dropped down to quickly dodge backwards. Hawke smirked as he saw the mage pull a sword and shield. "An Arcane Warrior huh? You lot are rare." He said as he swung down quickly upon the mage's shield. Hawke could faintly see Fenris watching from close by. Hawke decided to use the elf to his advantage. He pressed forward relentlessly at the magic warrior. Pushing the man further and further back. It seemed like Fenris was aware of his intentions. Seeing the elf pull free his weapon. Hawke advanced closer towards the mage before barking the words "Drop It!" More to Fenris than the mage. The mage responded with an obscure dialect. Fenris quietly dropped the weapon down as requested. Once the two warrior companions were within range of the mage. Hawke threw his axe towards the side ripping free the shield as Fenris snatched the sword from the mage. Hawke lunged forward then. His weight would crash upon both the warrior mage and the elf. But Fenris thought quickly and shoved the mage forward before ducking down. A sick spray of blood flew about the three men. The slaver mage's shoulder was impaled upon Hawke's twisted crown. Hawke reached up sunk his metal clad fingers into the wound as he pulled the mage off. "What are you doing. Just kill him already!" Fenris barked at him after backing away. "I will. Now hold this damned mage still, Fenris." Hawke said with a dark smile. Fenris looked a bit confused. "What-" The elf wasn't allowed to finish. "I said do it. Hold him to where he can barely breathe." Hawke said dangerously. Fenris remained quite as he reached over and took hold of the mage. Nearly cutting off the mage's ability to breathe. "Hawke... I do not see why you do not simply kill him off quickly." The elf stated. "Think of this as our new bonding ritual. Do as I ask and I won't attempt to murder you every time I get close to you." Hawke said almost cryptically. Fenris remained silent and nodded slowly. Not entirely sure of what was about to befall the near pleading mage in his grasp.

-Both-

Fenris stayed silent as he began to mentally question Hawke's motives. Though he needn't wait any longer as he felt the mage's body be slammed into him. He looked to what was going on to see Hawke using his gauntlet to tear into the mage. Ripping open a large hole within the mage's stomach. Fenris froze dead in his spot as his grip tightened. His eyes widened as he watched what Hawke began to do. Watching Hawke dig deeper into the open cavity now before ripping out the man's intestines ever so slowly. Fenris began to feel a horrid chill run down his spine as he found he couldn't look away. Hawke continued to gut the mage as his other hand latched onto the man's shoulder. Fenris swallowed as Hawke gave him a genuine smile of happiness. The sight of Hawke licking his teeth as if this was completely okay with him to witness. The larger man held his gaze with the elf's as he bit into the mage's shoulder. Using his teeth in a strange sawing motion as he began to bite down with enough force that a loud crack was heard. The mage cried out but Hawke's unoccupied hand shot up and gagged the man. The sharp gauntlet peircing the man's tongue before it was forcibly ripped out by hand. Hawke let off a muffled groan as he pulled a chunk of flesh from the man's shoulder so quickly that blood erupted from it. Spraying onto Fenris's face. The elf was too stunned to even move as Hawke continued to dissect the man Fenris was holding captive. Slowly Hawke unwound the man's entrails from his hand and soon dug the sharp metal into the bite wound. Working to slice the arm off using the jagged metal on the sides of his fingers. Pressing his other hand to steady the man against the elf. Before jerking hard. A sick wet snap resounded in the room of the warehouse. The shoulder still clung to the socket by a few tendons. Pulling it further apart. Hawke used his mouth to sever the connections. For some reason. At this point in time. Fenris forced out everything from his mind and simply remained silent. Almost as if out of habit. He loosened his grip enough to tilt the mage's head forward so he would drown on his own blood. Fenris barely took notice of Hawke giving him an approving smirk. Hawke's hand dropped the severed arm and slowly made it's way to the man's face. Hawke looked down to the man's intestines to ensure they were still connected. He didn't wish for his fun to end so soon. Knowing that once they were ripped out. The man would die right then. Hawke gave Fenris a look. It seemed like Fenris was used to seeing such brutality. Though the slight fear that showed in the elf's eyes were evident that he never helped in torturing a person before their death. Hawke continued to look at the elf as he removed the mage's eyes by gorging them out. Out of sheer curiosity Hawke spoke up after lapping up blood from his victim. "Do you wish for me to end this wretch's life now?" He slowly asked as he licked at the now empty eye socket. Snaking his tongue into the hollow space. Fenris cringed at the sight. "I...Just... Wish to let go..." Fenris slowly forced himself to say. Swallowing back the urge to vomit up the bile he knew that swirled in his stomach at this display. Hawke pulled his mouth away from his victim's head. Allowing the blood to drip purposely out of his mouth. He sharply sunk his hand into the three open orifices now present on the mage's head. "Then let go. You need not watch if you are too weak." Hawke said with a mocking smile as he jerked the mage from the elf's grasp. The mage now near death due to heavy blood loss. Fenris swallowed again before giving off a growl as he pulled free a dagger from one of his packs. Slamming the dagger into the mage's neck and twisting the blade before ripping it out. Hawke gave a growl. "He wasn't dead yet!" Hawke snarled at the elf. Fenris backed up as he looked down upon himself. His armor was soaked in blood. Dropping the dagger Fenris covered his mouth as his stomach churned. He heard Hawke scoff at the display. Fenris casted a glance up at Hawke and regretted it. Hawke was ripping a large piece of flesh from the dead man's face and slowly swallowed it. Fenris dropped to the ground and backed away from Hawke. Hawke merely laughed. "I suppose I will spare your ignorance this time. At least you insured the safety of not only you but the every other innocent in Kirkwall." Hawke droned lowly as he began to crush the skull between his hands. It seemed he was trying to break it completely opened. Throwing the body to the ground before placing his boot on top of it. Fenris shuddered as he sat there watching Hawke use his entire weight to crack it open.

Hawke knelt down before the elf and the dead body. Hawke seemed to contemplate something. The way his eye darkened as he looked at Fenris. He slowly reached into the mage's chest cavity and dug around reaching for something. Finding what he was looking for. Hawke tore it out and looked down at the main organ. Looking back at Fenris as he brought it to his mouth. Though Hawke stopped short of biting into it. Watching Fenris close his eyes tight. The elf did not wish to watch this. Hawke reached over taking the elf's hand and setting the heart within his hand. Fenris jolted from this as his eyes opened and stared at it. Fenris was not sure what to make of this. He then felt Hawke run his metal clad finger tips harshly through his hair. Fenris felt himself be pulled up roughly by the larger man and was swiftly ushered out of the warehouse with the heart in his hand. "I will be out in a bit. I have to finish my late night snack." Hawke laughed as he closed the door. Fenris slumped against the door and slid down leaving a smear of crimson onto the door. He shook against the door trying to breathe. He glanced down at the heart in his hand. Completely lost on what it could have meant. Knowing Hawke. It could have meant anything. Fenris's eyes darkened as he replayed what happened in his mind over and over. Moving a hand to his mouth as he slowly licked at the blood. As if trying to understand Hawke's infatuation with the life sustaining liquid. Instead the taste of it cause him to spit it back out. He didn't enjoy that taste at all. Now he had tasted his own blood which didn't bother him. But the taste of someone else's? It disturbed him to no ended. He closed his eyes tightly and simply tried to forget. Knowing that this night would haunt him like no other.

* * *

 _A/N So. I am sure some people were wanting some Hostile Hawke. So There you go._  
 _Also Leave in the comments why you read this story._  
 _Is it for the Violence? The Potential Twisted Smut? The Inner Turmoil? Or are you people just sick bastards? :3_

 _I Wish to KNOW! So I may please your eyes and brains with more of the shit!_

 _Also If you would be so kind. Give me some things you wish to see in the Years in Between Arch of this story.  
I already have some ideas but I wish to please the readers as well. And another thing. The next few chapters will be a bit longer.  
Because I will put multiple things together in each chapter. Now that I am done speaking my mind here. I will allow you. My Cherished readers. To wonder what the fuck you just read and leave comments. Also I have a poll up on my main page regarding this Story._


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31 A Warrior's Worth**

 _A/N This is mostly Fenris focused.._

* * *

Fenris shuddered as a cold wind blew past him. His eyes opening slowly in the light of the night. He stared down at the heart in his hand. The blood highlighted it in the shadows of the warehouse. Fenris felt sick knowing what he just allowed himself to be a part of. He had killed slavers before. But this... This way of killing wasn't right. Even if that slaver did deserve the torture. The fact Fenris forced himself to give that mage mercy by killing him even before Hawke was done having his fun. It made Fenris question where he stood on the matter of mages now. He hated mages a lot. But it seems his hatred for them was beat by Hawke's. Who enjoyed torturing them. But Hawke also enjoyed the torture of others as well. That human was entertained by such depravity. One of the things that stood out with Hawke. Was that he had enjoyed every second of what he was doing. Fenris shuddered once again as he let his head fall back against the stained door. He felt tired and drained. What was worse was how sick he felt. His vision began to blur as he forced himself to remain awake. Though he could not stop the feeling of the Fade upon him. He let out a slow breath before reluctantly falling asleep.

Inside the warehouse Hawke gave a yawn as he wiped the blood from his mouth. Staring at it before bringing it to his mouth to lick it away. He let out a sigh of contentment as he looked at the unrecognizable remains. Or what was left of them anyway. Hawke stood up from the shreds as he stretched. Only then did a small thought pass through his mind. Didn't he come here with the elf? He gave a small smile at remembering how that elf actually helped him. Though he did disapprove when the elf mercy killed that mage. The elf was ignorant in that department. Though he knew that if he continued to drag that elf with him on outings like this. Maybe the elf could be of even more value to him. The elf may have seen carnage more than enough. But none of which was wrought by Hawke. Carving his path and name in blood was something Hawke done on a daily basis. Hawke let off a light chuckle as he turned from the remains, walking towards the door of the building and pulled it towards him. He noticed the elf had passed out against the door. Hawke glared down as he opened the door further. Wasn't this Bastard Elf a light sleeper? Opening the door slowly till Fenris was deposited onto the ground in the doorway. Hawke huffed as he lifted his foot and held it just over the elf's head. He could end it right now. Slam his spiked boot down into the side of this elf's head. His weight would kill the smaller man. Hawke lightly twitched at the idea. Though his smile faded a bit as he cocked his head to the side and proceeded to step over the elf. Hawke gave a mild huff of annoyment. Before he looked around and then reached down. His hand shook gently as he reached out. Hesitantly at first. Hawke's hand found the heart he had gave the elf. Taking it into his hand and moving his other to open a pouch at the side of elf's belt. He slipped the organ into the pouch and closed it. Hawke nearly kneeled over the slumbering elf. His hand now hovered over the elf up to the warrior's neck. Hawke could never get over how delicate the elf looked asleep. The way he laid motionless in his sleep, almost like a statue. "You're rather beautiful asleep..." He lowly whispered. "Adorned in such a lovely color of red." Hawke continued with a sick smile. His hand brushed into the elf's hair. Staining it red even further. Hawke placed his other hand on the ground beside the elf. Hawke thought for a moment wondering if he should go home and leave the elf here. He frowned at the thought and reached his other hand towards the elf. His hands set upon the elf curiously. Hawke sat there unable to think on how to go through with bringing this elf back to the city. He gave a growl and shook the elf. Hawke snarled when the elf didn't wake up. He gave a huff and almost jerked the elf up. Hawke gave another growl as he knew this elf was probably knocked out from the lack of sleep. Hawke seriously hated the idea of bring the elf back. He hated having to touch the elf without breaking him even more.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Fenris awoke with a start as he quickly sat up. The smell of blood lingered on his body as he breathed deep. He took that time to adjust his eyes to the pitch black room he was in. In his panic. His markings sprung to life, bringing a eerie blue glow to the room. As the room came to light. Fenris noticed that he was drenched in blood. He gasped as he shot off what he could now see was a bed. He looked around as he stood. The room started to look familiar. He forced himself to breathe slowly. A voice cut through the darkness and it caused his markings to flare briefly before they soon faded out. He slowly began to relax as he realized he was in Hawke's room at the Hanged Man. Fenris looked towards where he heard Hawke's voice. The larger man was a few feet behind him. Fenris felt uneasy not being able to see the large man. Though he saw a candle be lit. The faint light flooded the area. He swallowed a bit as he looked up at Hawke. The large human seemed amused. Making Fenris curious. "What..." The elf asked pulling back from Hawke. "I find this entertaining... You have no memory of passing out earlier." Hawke said with a low chuckle. Fenris frowned then. Making himself remember where they were earlier. The sudden image struck him hard and he nearly threw up. Making him double over. "Good. You do remember. I applaud the effort you put into the _**fun**_. Even if you made an irritating mistake." The large man said letting out a growl. Fun? Was that all Hawke thought that was? He just saw torture as fun. He was a sick and twisted man. Yet... Fenris was unsure if he could even call the man out on it. He knew Hawke didn't care what other people thought of him. Fenris gave a sigh as he made himself stand up straight again. Fenris looked up at Hawke then to see a strange look on his face. It made Fenris shiver a bit. Recalling that look in the dark man's eye from some where before. The same as the sick smile playing on the larger man's face. Fenris couldn't help but feel like Hawke was not even looking at him like he was a person anymore. The realization that it might be due to the blood upon his body. He knew what the man was capable of. Hawke had a tendency to assault someone covered in blood. Like he had did to that abomination back in the Deep Roads. Fenris backed away from the human then. Hawke seemed to notice. As his dark eye stopped surveying the elf and glared pointedly at the smaller man. Fenris froze from the glare. Unsure on what to say to the larger man. Well he could always just state the obvious. Fenris swallowed. "Umm. Question if I may?" He asked lightly taking another step back from Hawke. The larger man just hummed. A typical response from him. Fenris took the man's silence as an okay to continue. "Why did you bring me here?" Fenris asked. Hawke took umbrage to this question. "You question why you're here instead of how I resisted tearing you to shreds on the trek back here with you in my grasp." The larger man said in a single breath. Fenris looked down as he began to fiddle with his bloody armor. The conversation was uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as the armor. He was trying not to feel his skin crawl at the idea of Hawke's hands being on him. "Just... Answer the question, Hawke." Fenris stressed. Hawke gave another hum as he walked up to Fenris. Fenris attempted to back up further but the back of his legs hit the bed. Fenris tried hard not to let his face burn at the sudden image that sprang to his mind. He push the thought aside as he looked up at Hawke. The larger man gave another hum as his head tilted. "Do you truly wish to know, Fenris?" The large man said slowly. Part of Fenris did not wish to know suddenly. "Yes." He stated eyeing the larger man. Hawke merely lowered himself to be even with Fenris. Something the man hardly ever done. "In truth. I did not wish for you to be left behind. So I carried you here." Fenris took a deep breath as he tried to relax. Though the closeness between him and Hawke was near unsettling at the moment. The heat coming off of the large man was inexplicably comforting. Even if Hawke did reek of death at the moment. "May I go home now?" Fenris asked looking past Hawke. The larger man gave a growl. "No. You may not." The man's small demented smile suddenly vanished. Seems the human did not wish for Fenris to leave. Fenris gave a glace back up at the human. The idea of actually having to force his way past the violent male crossed his mind. Fenris silently wondered how well he could hold his own against the man. The idea seemed a bit reckless though. Fenris gave a sigh as he tried to scoot his way across the bed's side and get away from Hawke. Though the larger man would have none of it. Fenris pulled back when Hawke shot his arms out on either side of the elf. Fenris gave a questioning glare at Hawke. Hawke suddenly smiled again and his tongue snaked out of his mouth.

"Where do you plan on heading, Fenris." Hawke said with a strange purr.

"Trying to make distance between you and I." Fenris stated.

"I rather you didn't, Fenris." Hawke growled as his smile twisted into a sneer.

"... I am in much need of a bath... Something I can not do with you attempting to hold me captive." Fenris growled as he slowly crossed his arms.

"The blood suits you though." Hawke gave a laugh as he leaned closer.

"I am... Sure that...Uh... Look just get the fuck out of my way!" Fenris snapped.

"I wish to see what you taste like mixed with another's blood." Hawke said honestly as he leaned even closer nearly forcing Fenris onto the bed.

"H-hawke...No..." Fenris said while a blush spread across his face. The blood covering it up from the larger man.

"It won't hurt much. Unless you fight back." Hawke purred sickly.

Hawke's tongue ran across the sharp tips of his teeth as he leaned closer. Blood was smeared around his mouth and down into his beard. Fenris swallowed as he leaned away pulling onto the bed in an attempt to retreat. "I said NO!" Fenris shot back as his markings came to life. Hawke seemed amused by the display and suddenly pulled back. Leaving Fenris puzzled. Why was Hawke acting so strange? Fenris huffed as he quickly got up and walked away from Hawke. Maybe he should be more forceful with his responses. Having learned that Hawke prefers being talked to directly. Though talking back to someone who could easily kill you was unnerving. Fenris shook lightly. Part of Fenris felt alive at the thought alone. To actually assert himself was such an amazing feeling! Though he wondered how far that line was with Hawke. Most of the time Hawke would harshly reprimand anyone who so much as hinted going against him. It caused Fenris to wonder why Hawke never made a move to reprimand him. He was brought from his thoughts suddenly. "There is a bath in the other room. It has runes on it or some fucking shit that heats it up. It was rather difficult having to find one that I could get in..." Hawke seemed to say to him. Or more likely to himself. Hawke wasn't even focusing on Fenris anymore. Fenris turned to look at Hawke to see Hawke taking his eye patch off. Though he was unable to see what lay beneath the thick hair. He looked a bit longer before making his way to the other room. It was large. It served as a spare room, bathroom, closet, and storage. Seemed Hawke shoved a lot of junk from the previous owner into the far corner. Fenris turned to the somewhat private bath. Fenris was unsure of using someone else's bathtub. Then again... He was living in a borrowed mansion. Borrowed being stressed. Fenris was right curious on whether or not the suites for the Hanged Man got their own water. Varric's suite sure didn't have this. But then again. The dwarf might have a private bath conveniently hidden behind a door. Fenris looked to the door and grew quiet. Having heard a sudden crash the moment he walked far enough into the room.

He swallowed slowly and made his way back to the door but stopped short. Leaning lightly against the open door trying to remain hidden. He saw Hawke holding his head as he stood over a large broken mirror. It must have been on the wall covered up. Hawke was hunched over slightly. He was talking fast under his voice as his body gave a spasmed jerk. Fenris remained silent as he saw Hawke tear off his gauntlets. The human ran his hands through his hair before his right hand curled around his face. Fenris felt his heart skip a beat. Hawke wasn't suppose to be acting this way. Hawke should be in a good mood. He looks like he is having an episode like back in the Deep Roads. He gasped lightly as he saw Hawke turn just enough to see the darken shadowed right side of his face. The light wasn't bright enough to show it. But Fenris could see Hawke's right hand dig into the darkness on his face. A black red liquid shined in the low light coming from that side of his face as it ran into the man's beard. Hawke leaned forward more as he trembled. Giving a wicked smile as his left hand ran through his beard. His fingers dipping into his mouth as he bit down upon them. Making them bleed as he seemed to speak. Fenris strained his ears in order to hear what the man was saying. It was very faint. Fenris could barely make out the words. The words he could understand was "I. Want. To. _**Break**_. Him." Those words along with a broken sentence. "Why do I wish him alive?" Fenris swallowed. He wasn't exactly sure who Hawke was talking about. But he felt like the man was talking about him. A heavy feeling fell upon him in that moment. Fenris slowly backed away. He wanted to close the door but knowing that if he did. The heavy door would make Hawke snap out of what ever it was he was having. Fenris backed up further and turned to the bath area. He looked back towards the door and shuddered. He sat down by the tub which was strangely already filled with water. Fenris gave a sigh as he looked himself over.

Fenris stiffened a bit as he heard a door slam suddenly. He stood up and hurriedly went to see. Hawke was gone from the room. Fenris hesitantly walked into the room. He knew that human had a habit of jumping out when least expected. This caused Fenris to watch the shadows more often. Such a feat should be impossible for a warrior. Normally only rogues could blend into the shadows with ease. Though Hawke did wear dark clothing. Fenris stopped short of the table in the room as he saw the twisted head gear Hawke normally wore. He had left it. Fenris walked over to it. It was rather grimy with blood and bits of flesh. Fenris had a sudden strange wish to pick it up. During the quietness of the room he was able to observe himself in the shattered mirror on the ground. Noticing just how drenched in blood he was. Fenris gave disgusted noise. He noticed one of his packs was heavily stained red. He swallowed and reach for it. He stilled as his eyes widened. Pulling out a heart. Fenris felt a sickness begin to wash over him again. He swallowed it back as he stared at it. Turning around towards the table. He set the organ down on the table. He wasn't even sure what to do with this. He didn't understand what to do with it. He did not understand the symbolism Hawke wished him to see. Part of him wondered if Hawke was mimicking what he does. Though Fenris was sure Hawke has done such to a person before. Fenris backed away from the table slowly before walking towards the other room again. He need to clean himself of this blood before it started to stain. Especially before Hawke comes back.

A few hours later Fenris walks from the other room to notice Hawke still hasn't returned. It seemed odd. Fenris gave a sigh and looked down at himself. His clothes were clean but had to dry. He was forced to wear something of Hawke's. It was dark plum in color with splashes of red décor embroidered in it. Seemed Hawke enjoyed the colors purple and red. Hawke might be a demented murderer. But his taste in things were unusually sophisticated. Fenris looked himself over for a bit longer and groaned. He felt like he was wearing a dress due to how large the shirt was. Did they even have Hawke's size in normal clothes? Or was this special ordered? Fenris found it to be amusing should Hawke secretly be making his own clothes. The idea that popped into Fenris head made him laugh. As if the idea of seeing Hawke's hair pulled back as he was designing the clothes like some dress maker. Though Fenris figured this was to not be true. Hawke didn't seem the type. Though Fenris did question on whether or not Hawke was even capable of such a thing considering his inability to read. Fenris fidgeted in place as he looked around. He slightly wondered if Hawke would come back. His head gear was still there. Fenris walked over to it and hesitantly reached out for it. Gently picking it up. The inside felt slick. The feeling made Fenris gag a bit. He wondered what it would look like cleaned. He walked cautiously into the other room and proceeded to clean the twisted metal crown. Once it was clean Fenris stared at it for a long time before he held it up to his face. The metal plate was huge. It didn't just cover up Hawke's eye from what Fenris could tell. It must have covered the entire right half of Hawke's face. Fenris looked to the door towards the main room. He slowly looked back at the crown and held it close to his face. Slowly putting the eye patch on. It was much too big. Though Fenris noted that the red leather strap could be adjusted. It felt so weird to wear the article of armor so snug. The rune pressed into his closed eye. It had a strange cooling affect that seemed to spread through out the metal. Fenris gave a chilled shiver. He got up from where he sat and made his way into the main room of the suite. Fenris sat on the bed and simply stared at the ground. He gave a slight laugh of amusement. Wear such strange stuff was a bit exciting. Though it was far from knowing how Hawke thought and acted. He flopped back onto the bed and looked at the ceiling.

The sound of the suite door opening and closing made Fenris sit up straight. His eye widened. He quickly brought up his hands as Hawke gave him a piercing glare. "I can explain! I was-" Fenris didn't even get to finish when Hawke let off a short low laugh. Fenris tilted his head to the side as he watched Hawke walk towards him. "So the elf got curious." Hawke said lowly with a small smile. Shouldn't Hawke be upset right now? Fenris thought. After all Fenris was wearing this stuff without Hawke's approval. Though it seemed like Hawke... Didn't care... "How does it feel to pretend to be me?" Hawke asked. He had bandages showing through his hair on the right side. "I was just... Curious. As you said." Fenris admitted. "I can see that, Fenris." Hawke said walking past the elf's sitting form into the other room. Fenris shivered. Hawke wasn't referring to him strictly as Elf anymore. Hawke was actually calling him by his name. Hawke also seemed to be back to normal. Well at least as normal as he could get. Fenris ran his hand up under the eye patch to relieve some of the pressure it placed on his right eye. Fenris wondered if the rune was designed to fit into a hollow space where Hawke's right eye should be. Fenris wished to know what laid hidden underneath those dark somber locks. He watched as Hawke came back in loose red pants and a dark plum shirt. It was plain in design. Fenris scoffed a bit as he saw that the shirt was open down to a deep v. Fenris suddenly pictured Hawke as a bear due to his chest hair and then added with his long waist length hair. The thought made Fenris choke back a laugh. Hawke gave him a queer look. Fenris let out a breath as to try to stop himself. Looking back at the open shirt. Hawke's hair was solid black. The weirdest thing about his hair was that it did not reflect light. There was no sheen to it. "Are you done gawking at me..." Hawke stated dully. Getting Fenris to snort a short awkward laugh as he turned his head giving a slight cough. "I was doing no such thing!" Fenris defended. "Right..." Hawke droned as he walked over. Hawke looked the elf over and hummed lightly. "You plan on resting here for the rest of the night, Fenris?" Hawke asked almost civilly. "I am not dressed to venture back to my home. Also my armor is still damp..." He said looking to the ground. "Then get the fuck over Bastard Elf. You are on my side..." Hawke growled. Fenris gave Hawke a glare but said nothing. He didn't mind the name. He just wished Hawke wouldn't have said it in a hateful tone this time around. But he did move as requested. Fenris was use to Hawke's curt words by now. The man didn't seem to bother him anymore with his tone of voice. Though Fenris knew the man was still capable of killing him. He felt Hawke lay down on the bed. Always flat on his back. Never covered up. Fenris scooted closer to the edge of the bed. He still didn't feel all that comfortable sharing a bed with the larger man. Though in truth he much rather Hawke than anyone else. At least Hawke would tell him when he would be a fucking pervert. Though Fenris was not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing... Before Fenris got ready to sleep. He took the eye patch off and set it on the table near the heart. Crawling lightly under the covers. He made sure that he didn't touch Hawke at all. Giving a yawn. Fenris wondered how many times he was going to share a bed with Hawke. At least he was warming up to the idea of not having to wake up alone. Even it was awkward as hell to him. He listened to Hawke as the larger man's breath evened out and slowly became faint. He gave a look over his shoulder and inched his way closer to the human. With the feeling of heat coming off Hawke's body. Fenris gave a sigh as he slowly fell asleep.

* * *

 _A/N Fenris and Hawke's relationship is developing quite nicely I think.  
Next few chapters should be longer. I was very busy this week. So I couldn't make it as long as I wanted.  
Next week's chapter shall be about Varric and Hawke's relationship. Anyway R&R!_


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32 Dark Humor**

 _A/N Hawke's sense of humor differs from Varric's. Also Fenris is here again! Lots of dialogue. Focus on Varric._

* * *

It has been a few months since the Deep Roads Expedition. Everything seemed to go back to normal for Varric. Most of it anyway. He sat in his suite with an angsty elf sitting across from him. Varric was known for putting his nose into everyone's business. He ended up befriending the Tevinter warrior rather quickly. The expedition helped on building that friendship as well. After all. People always get closer after going through the Void and back. Though it raised the question. Varric noticed the elf hanging around Hawke more often than usual. In fact Varric was quite curious on this. Now it wasn't because he was worried about Hawke. Oh no. He was more worried about Fenris than Hawke. After all. The two didn't **always** talk nicely to each other. Hawke more so than Fenris in that department. Hawke was just down right hateful. Enough said. Fenris wasn't as shallow as Hawke was. Though Varric mosty assumed Hawke was some where off the deep end. One monent you could understand the man. Then the next you were drowning in Hawke's complexity. Varric knew that having to deal with Hawke was just a lot of high maintance. One had to have very thick skin to not get cut into pieces by his mere words. Though getting back to the point and time at hand. Varric sat at the table in his suite. Playing a round of Diamond Back. So far. The elf was losing rather badly. Unike Hawke. The elf was more focused on his hand than his opponent. Varric must admit to himself. He mostly cheated. Though he didn't wish for Fenris to now that. The elf would probably force him to look at his own still beating heart. Varric shivered at the idea. He much rather keep his heart in his chest. Thank you.

Varric looked up at the elf as he drew another card. Varric was really curious as to how close Fenris was to Hawke. Afterall Varric worried for the elf. Considering Hawke could easily tear the elf apart. Even if the elf would put up a harsh fight in retaliation, mind you. He still worried for the elf. On some days the elf seemed overly drained. He also seemed to run his hand over his right shoulder and neck. Varric wasn't sure if the elf just slept wrong on those days. Sometimes though. The elf would do the same but with the left side. And on rare moments. There was faint splatters of blood on the elf's armor. Which was not a good sign. Varric once called Fenris out on the blood. Fenris would always just shrug indifferently and say it was spilt wine. Varric wouldn't question him further. What if it was just really dark wine. He knew Fenris enjoyed drinking wine. Though what bothered Varric was the fact Fenris was beginning to have some very macabre sense of tendencies of late. Some which the elf was never into in the beginning. During a scuffle last weekend in the bar. A typical bar fight had happened. Hawke had knocked one man's block clear off. In the oh so horrifing literal sense. The man's razor sharp gauntleted claws struck the man square in the neck with such force. That the man's head was nearly severed from his body. The brawl died out almost instantly. Hawke had let out a laugh at what he did. All the patrons nearly shit themselves. Now the man wasn't a regular. He was some pompous shit that drifted through from some neighboring city. But still not a single fuck was given for his death. Varric grimaced at recalling the ordeal but had also remembered how Fenris acted that day. The elf has openly stared at the blood dripping from Hawke's hand. Stranger yet was that the elf partly reached out towards him before pulling his own hand back. Varric knew Hawke enjoyed a good blood letting. So Hawke licking the blood from his hand was normal but for the elf to fidget in his place as he watched Hawke. Well that just bizzare.

Varric gave a low breath as he set his cards down suddenly and looked right at Fenris. The elf looked up from his cards and seemed to tilt his head to the side. "Is something the matter, Varric?" The elf asked tensing up as if he was being put on the spot. Varric forced a smile along with a small laugh. "So Fenris. You and Hawke have been palling around more often." Varric started. He saw as Fenris suddenly relaxed. He watched as Fenris leaned back into the chair. For some odd reason Fenris had wanted to sit in Hawke's chair. The elf was rather small compared to the chair. Varric seemed to remain quiet as to let the elf think for a moment. "We... Have been spending more time than usual together." Fenris said as he mindlessly picked at the leather on the arm of the chair. Seems the elf was suddenly interested in the stone work of the chair accented with the leather fabric and cushion. "You know what I am going to ask Fenris..." Varric said worriedly. Fenris let out a slow breath and looked at him. The elf seemed to tense suddenly. "You still worry for my safety. I can assure you I am fine. You need not concern yourself with me." Fenris stated as he sat back fully in the chair. Clearly not comfortable with where the conversation was going. "I know... You aren't the only one I worry about." Varric said with a sigh as he though of Anders in that moment. Deciding to change the subject. Varric suddenly laughed as he thought of something. Getting Fenris to look at him.

"So did you learn anything good about our oh so frightful leader?" Varric asked leaning forward.

Fenris scoffed. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Does he have something that makes him less scary?" Varric asked.

"Other than his obsession with his own hair?" Fenris remarked.

"Pfft. He is like a pompous Orlesian poodle!" Varric laughed.

"Don't let him hear you say that, Varric." Fenris warned as he turned his head slightly. As if listening for Hawke to show up.

"Have you ever wondered if he ever braided it? Or just how it felt? I mean come on. He primps himself so much. It is a wonder he even leaves a mirror." Varric laughed.

Fenris suddenly pales as he drops his head forward. A frown growing on his face. "He... Can not stand mirrors...It makes him..." Fenris whispered as he set the cards he held down and crossed his arms.

Varric's laugh died down. This wasn't good. "It makes him what?" He questioned sitting forward.

"I asked him once. He... Hates what he sees in them." Fenris looked off to the side a bit worried now.

"As prideful as he is. He can't stand his own reflection?" Varric was now confused.

"It isn't the reflection of himself he sees... I think... He..." Fenris trailed off as he stood up and quickly walked to his own chair before promtly sitting down.

Varric was about to question him further but silenced himself as the iron door opened swiftly. Right. Varric thought. He was suppose to meet with Hawke today. How could he forget? Either way the elf went silent. Varric looked up at the human. Hawke seemed distracted. The man walked into the room and sat down heavily into the stone chair. Hawke didn't even have his eye open. Varric felt the room grow cold with an uneasy chill in the air that wrapped itself around him. Something was wrong with Hawke. Varric could just tell. Hawke was pissed off more so than usual. Varric scratched lightly through his chesthair. He was about to say something when the elf beat him to it. "Hawke. You seem... Uneasy." Fenris said slowly. Hawke's torrent blue eye opened and narrowed at the elf who sat to his left. "The fucking Knight Captain suggests I visit Bethany every other week." Hawke let out in a snarl. "Says the Knight Commander insists that all mages should be visited by family as little as possible... Quite frankly I don't give a flying fuck what the bitch says. I will **visit** my sister when ever I so chose." He continued to growl out. One of his gauntlets dug at the stone arm rest and began chipping away tiny peices. "Maybe you should entertain yourself somehow then." The elf said sitting back in his chair. "There is only one thing I find entertaining, Fenris..." Hawke growled. Odd. Hawke hardly ever called anyone their name. Varric wistled a bit as if trying to let them know he was still there. Hawke glared at him. _'Well this just got real awkward real quick.'_ Varric thought. "You want a drink? It's on me." Varric said forcing a smile. Hawke gave a heavy sigh and slouched in the chair. Now there is something new... "Sure. Why the fuck not..." He growled. Fenris looked over to Varric and shrugged. Varric sighed and got up and went down stairs. He really didn't want to sit in silence and wait for Norah. He waved to her as he passed and walked up to the bar. He hops up on one of the stools and signals Corff. He came up and smiled at him.

"How you doing Varric?" The barman asked.

Varric let out a sigh. "Not good. You remember Hawke, right?"

Corff gave a nod as he pulled some tankards from under the bar.

"Well. You think after going through the Void and back with him. I would know him better and be closer to him..." Varric huffed as he leaned on the counter.

"Well. Have you tried telling jokes? Making puns? Getting him to... You know laugh?" Corff said with a shrug as he filled them.

"I might as well bark up the wrong damn tree because Hawke doesn't have a sense of humor. Or at least a normal one." Varric said running his hand down his face.

"He a sadist right?" Corff wasn't even looking at Varric as he set the tankards on a plate.

"Yeah..."

"Talk about fighting and killing or something." Corff said shoving the plate to Varric. "Maybe it might help. All the rumors seem to make sense about him."

Varric gave a laugh as he found his smile again. "I love you man. You are just the person to go to when a guy needs someone to talk to."

"No problem. Just part of the job of bartender." He said smiling.

"Put it on my tab." Varric said hopping off the bar stool and grabbing the plate.

Varric made his way back up to his suite. As he walked up the stairs though. He could hear talking coming from his room. He used his rogue ability to slowly make his way over to his suite door. He set the the tray of drinks down on a stone table nearby. He inched closer to the door and strained to listen in on the conversation. He knows that doing this is a bit wrong and an invasion of privacy. But he just wanted to make sure Fenris was okay. It wasn't the fact he didn't trust Hawke. He did. Truly he did. But what normal person would trust a pyschopath? A deep baratone voice was talking. Cleary it was Fenris talkng. "You should just try to use your time productively. I am sure there are plenty things to do in the city..." A dark laugh rises. Dark and chilling. Somehow much deeper than the Elf's. Hawke... It sounded like Hawke was talking but it was too low and a bit too fast for Varric to hear. "Ugh... Something that does not get Aveline to arrest you for manslaughter..." He heard Fenris say. Hawke gave a growl. Varric heard the stone chair get pushed back. Hawke must have stood up rather quickly and angerily by the sound of it. "Hawke... Maybe you should calm down..." The elf must be trying to reason with him. "WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I?!" Hawke's voice suddely boomed. Varric jumped from the door and covered his mouth nearly yelping. He heard a sigh from behind the door. "You can't just storm into the Gallows and assault templars. They are doing their job protecting this city from mages." The elf's voice seems stressed when he said mages. There was a growling before a brief silence. "Hawke... Are you... Alright?" That was a switch. There was a lot of concern in Fenris's voice now. Hawke's voice came next. Low but clear. "I... Do not wish to speak to you of such things, Fenris..." Silence again. Varric took a deep breath and decided he should walk in now. He picked the tray up and was about to open the door. But he stopped as the next words hit him. "At least... Not yet, Bastard Elf... I am not sure if I can fully depend on you..." Hawke growled. Varric slightly gasped at what Hawke called Fenris. It was down right rude and uncalled for. But he heard the elf laugh. "So. You are... Beginning to trust me? Though just not enough to confide in. I see. Fair enough. Keep it to yourself. You sick fuck." Silence once again that was soon disturbed by a gentle laugh. What shocked Varric was the fact Hawke laughed. It wasn't some dark ma ha ha shit either. Though somewhere... Varric might have heard Hawke laugh like that. Or said it in the very least but back to the point. Hawke laughed. A genuine laugh. And it was mind blowing. Still dark and creepy as hell. Though Varric could tell it was from -dare he think it- happiness?

Varric quickly opened the door and made it seem like he had just walked up. "Drink are here! Corff was busy tending to a drunk patron." He said trying to be sly. Hawke glared at him and seemed to stare. "You know better than to lie to me, Varric..." He said lowly. Varric had to think quick. He forgot Hawke was like a human lie detector. How the man done it confused Varric to his core. Might as well say the truth without really saying the truth. "I was listening in on an interesting conversation. Though I rather not say who. They might beat with their mugs." He said setting the plate down on the table. Hawke eyed him for a bit long. _'Ha ha! You can't say shit, Hawke. I told the truth! Why must you make bullshitting hard for me?'_ He thought to himself. He felt Hawke's peircing glare lightlen. Hawke let out a low hum. Varric wondered why the man hummed a lot. Well other than using said hum to give an okay or agreement.

Feeling the air in the room lighten. Varric decided to go ahead and try to lighten it even further. He offered Hawke the pint but Hawke turned his nose at it. Like always. That always bothered Varric. Hawke would order a pint but he would never drink it. He would just stare at. Just like he was doing now. Varric hmphed a bit and decided to test the water. Hawke was in a good mood thanks to Broody. Now to see if Killer will kill him. "I am sorry Hawke. Does the tankard offend your eye or something?" Varric said with a cautious smile. Hawke looked square at him and seemed to bore into his very soul. Sheesh. The guy was a buzz kill. "Yes. I have been offended, you fool. There's not even blood in it." Hawke seemed to jest with a slight smile. DING! DING! DING! Corff was right! That bar man was brillant! Varric needed to augment his jokes a bit to fit Hawke's twisted sense of disturbing humor. "Sorry. Corff didn't murder a drunk patron as of yet. None of them pissed him off yet. Maker willing." Varric said with a cheery smile. Hawke's smile disappeared. Shit. What Varric say wrong? "Yeah... **Maker**... Willing." Hawke seemed to look off somewhere else. Varric mentally slapped himself. Wasn't Hawke some sort of non-believer or something? Anti-religious sounded about right. Either way Varric needed to get Hawke's attention again. He looked over to Fenris as if asking for some hint. Fenris looked between him and Hawke. The elf only motioned for Varric to try again. _'Damn it Broody! Help me out here. You know him better than me. Which sucks considering how many people I keep tabs on...'_ Varric thought wih a huff. Seems the elf must of heard Varric's thoughts. "So Hawke what are your thoughts on people?" _'Wait seriously? What kind of half assed question is that!?'_ Varric thought but to his suprise Hawke reacted in kind to this. Hawke snorted a bit as he answered. "People are like trees." He said. "How so Hawke?" Varric couldn't help but ask. A sick smile came across Hawke's face. What was disturbing was his eye got covered by his long hair. "They fall down once you hit them enough times with an axe." Hawke started to laugh as his hair moved. Yep. It was official Hawke was a sadistic pyschopath. Varric shuddered. He needed to get on same level with Hawke. Varric was a bit lost on what he should say. Maybe he would get a chance some other time. Varric pouted a bit before he saw Fenris wave at him. Promptly leaving the room. Varric wondered if it was a wise idea to leave him here with a murderous killer. Hawke then walked to the door. Stopping, Hawke threw him a look as if expecting him to follow. Varric looked at his pint and tried to down most of it before walking up to Hawke. "Why don't the three of us do something fun." Hawke said in a weird purr. "I wouldn't mind getting in some troube. As long as it doesn't involve a mass murder." Varric warned as he forced a smile. Hawke gave a snort. "You are rather entertaining, Varric." Hawke said before walking down the stairs to where the elf was. Varric mentally gave a cheer. The large man was finally calling him by his name. Now to see if Hawke would do it again.

A few hours later the trio were found near the outskirts of Kirkwall. Not quite out of the city but not quite into the wilderness. Varric looked around the old buildings. "I never knew this place was that broken down..." He said looking around. "You knew of this place, Varric?" Hawke seemed to ask as he gave the place a once over. The man was currently taking a long drink from his usual bottle. "I grew up in Kirkwall, Hawke. I know a lot of places. Though I don't think we should be here. Might run into trouble." Varric said as he picked around an area. "That is the reason we are out here, Varric." Varric turned to look at Fenris. "What?" Varric deadpanned. "We came out here to find trouble?" Fenris simply nodded and pointed to Hawke. Right. Sir Psycho Killer needs to eat. Varric shuddered a bit from the idea. He really didn't approve of this but then again he rather not be the one to die. Fenris seemed to not care one way or another. The three of them kept searching around before Hawke wandered off. Varric walked up to Fenris.

"So Broody." Varric started.

"Hmmm."

"Any idea what Hawke finds funny? I mean I am tring here. I am not a sadistic person."

"I know..."

"Umm this is where you say you aren't one either!"

"I am a bit sadistic. Have you not seen how I talk to mages?"

"Right..."

"Ask Hawke about mages. Make a sick joke regarding them." Fenris advised.

"But my friend is a mage..." Varric defended.

"No one gives a fuck about the Abomination!" The elf hissed.

"Point taken... Then again Hawke and Blondie hardly ever talk to each other."

"There is a reason for that Varric."

"I know Broody. You don't have be a dick, like Hawke, about it." Varric huffed as he went to find Hawke with the elf following closely behind.

They both heard a faint scream. Fenris and Varric shared a look as they hurried towards the sound. They both find Hawke a little ways off. Seems like he found something to entertain himself. As they walked closer. They heard the fighting. Fenris pulled his sword aloose and took off in a charge to the noise. Varric pulled Bianca free and made his way over there. Hawke seemed to be fighting some one. His axe was in the ground. He pulled back his left hand and swung. His fist collided with the guy in front of him. Hawke seemed to pull away something small from the man. The man on the ground cursed as he turned to scramble away. He didn't get far when Fenris stood before him. His blade ready. Varric also dropped down to be right by the man. Bianca was ready to do some damage. Both were ready to tear into the man. "Who is this man to you, Child..." More of a demand than a question. The small child was a girl. She was heavily bruised. The way Hawke looked at the girl. it was like he met her before. "He took me from mommy!" She had cried. "I remember you little one. You live in Darktown, do you not?" Hawke seemed to ask. His voice calm. The girl nodded. "Did he touch you badly?" The girl nodded furiously. The man on the ground paled. The look in Hawke's eye was nothing but pure hatred and murder. "Varric. Take the girl. I will deal with him." Hawke said. Varric put Bianca up and walked over to Hawke. He was handed the child and it didn't take him long to know what Hawke wished to do. "Why don't you assist me, Fenris. At the sound of those words the Elf seemed to pale. He hesitantly put his sword away and nodded. What was this about? Varric was shooed rather quickly by both warriors. He hurried away far enough. He didn't want to know what they would do. But what he did want to know was why Fenris was helping Hawke now. Something didn't sit right with Varric. He walked further away and sat down. He looked the girl over. She was a brunet. Small short hair and bright brown eyes. "Here Kid. Why don't I patch you up. Lucky we came out this way. Huh?" He said. The girl nodded. The girl looked around twelve. He focused on cleaning her up and making sure she was okay. "There. Much better. We are going to bring you home back to your mommy." Varric said gently. She nodded again and hugged him. Though he did wonder how Hawke remembered her. It was painfully quiet for half hour before Fenris and Hawke both walked up behind him and the girl. He half expected the both of them to be covered in blood. Well at least Hawke. They might have cleaned themselves up as to not scare the girl.

The girl had let Varric go and walked up to Hawke. "You the big man that saved us." She said out of the blue. Well looks like Hawke did meet this girl before. Hawke simply hummed. The girl walks over to him and wanted him to pick her up. Hawke refused. "I am not going to carry you." He made know his gauntlets and the girl nodded after looking at them. "Sharp." She said. He nodded. She walked up to him closer and latched onto his leg. Hawke rolled his eye. "Let's bring this girl home." He said. Varric watched as Hawke began to walk. The girl clinged to him. Seems like the girl thought it would be fun to hitch a ride. The man was big enough. Varric couldn't help but inwardly laugh. Hawke looked a bit less threatening now that there was a small child clinging to him. Fenris seemed to find it amusing as well.

About an hour and a half they found themselves in Darktown. The girl let go of Hawke. She said she would show them where she lived. What was sad was knowing the girl lived down here and the fact no one cared when a child went missing here. Varric didn't really know that Hawke was friendly towards children. He assumed Hawke was. Considering how he dealt with Lia. They followed the little girl to a small hollow hole in the wall on the ground near some stairs. "Mommy!" She called out. A woman walked out with wide eyes. "Natalie? Oh dear Maker! My baby!" The woman cried out as she fell to her knees and hugged her daughter. "That big man saved me!" The girl said happily. The woman paused and looked up to Hawke. "You... I remember you. You saved us from the man who tried to kill us months ago. I can not say how lucky it was you happened upon us back then. And I thank you and your friends for finding my baby!" Hawke shrugged as if he didn't care. "Be careful. Else you would not be so lucky." He said. The woman nodded. "I wish I could pay you something..." The woman said. Varric noted that she was Fereldan like Hawke. Her skin was tanned like any Fereldan. He was always curisous as to why Hawke himself was so pale. He was almost ghost like compared to his sister and family. "I need nothing. Just stay out of trouble." He said turning on his heel and walking away. Fenris walked after him as did Varric. Varric gave a glance to Fenris and noticed he was slightly pale and a bit sick. Varric could only imagen what happened with the guy back in the outskirts of the city. He looked towards Hawke once again. He needed to do a bit more research on Hawke. Get to know him more. At least they saved a girl's life today. Also Hawke called him by his name as well. Now to work on being Hawke's friend. He rather have the guy as a friend than an enemy.

* * *

 _A/N So what you guys think of this chapter? Next time I will ask you guys to provide me with some sick disturbing jokes.  
I may just add them ^w^ Also Hawke and Fenris are the main characters so they will be in the next chapters as well.  
You also won't believe who the next chapter focuses on. I look forward to writing it. _


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33 Keeping Tabs**

 _Let's look at Corff!_

* * *

No one knew if the barman lived at the Hanged Man. Or if he left for home without people knowing. Everyone just knew Corff was at the Hanged Man no matter what time of day it was. He stood behind the bar at his usual spot. It was the early morning. Very few people were in the bar at this time. Most of the people, being the ones that actually lived at the bar. Varric being his long time tenant for years. Ever since the dwarf met him. Varric had been living here for so long. And Croff, himself has worked there for so long. It seemed like Varric and him belonged at the Hanged Man. Corff rolled his shoulders and set down the glass he was polishing. He gave a look around and figured this would be a good time to relax before more of the patrons came in. He watched as the talkative man wandered up to him. That man had the weirdest conspiricy theories ever. And just as Corff figured. The man started to rant. Corff didn't really pay attention to the man any more. After all he was pretty much harmless. Weird but harmless. He continued to ignore the talkative man and tried to enjoyed the peace of the morning. Finally after the man had his say. He left Corff alone. Corff gave a sigh and leaned on the bar. Closing his eyes. Peace and quiet once again. He should enjoy the time while it lasts. Because as soon as the regular patrons start coming in. It would be loud and distressing. Though Corff wasn't complaining much about it. He heard many things from all the drunks. He would even leaned his ear for those who came in just to seek advice. Speaking of advice. Corff opened his eyes as he looked towards the stairs straight to Varric's room. A few weeks ago Varric seemed upset. Or put off in a sense. It was strange to see his most loyaly customer look so displaced. Corff had tried to cheer him up. What Corff knew was that Varric was the most happiest person in Kirkwall. At least in his opinion. But ever since Varric met that Hawke fellow. Well. The poor dwarf seemed to really be restless. Now being a bartender had it perks. Hearing rumors and tales from various people. That was useful. He learned about Hawke way before he met him. That was one of the things him and Varric talked about so long ago before that Deep Roads Expedition. Varric has said something about getting help from a mercenary named Hawke. Who had just quit the Red Iron. Corff sighed at the recollection. Sometimes he wished his friend never met Hawke. Though in truth the venture was worth it. Corff didn't understand what had happened in the Deep Roads. All he knew was that it was bad. Like extremely bad. Varric had came back drained and further more. Beyond tired. Corff gave a sigh as he stood up. He wondered what could of happened down there and what could possibly be going on now. He once again casted a glance up the stairs to the second floor. He had a feeling that it dealt with that Hawke fellow.

Hawke was starting to become a regular here. Bar fights started to be less and less frequent. Corff was not sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. In his opinion. None of the rumors he heard could have ever prepared him for Hawke. The man was just. Strange. He drank from a dark red bottle of poisonious mixture. The large man bought drinks from the bar. Though he would never drink any. He would always just stare at the drink. It was rather odd if Corff said so himself. Corff was always confused by Hawke. He could never understand him. What was with the man's long hair? What was with his clothes? His Weapon. His mind set... Corff heard rumors from other Red Iron members. The rumors were always unsettling. Some down right twisted. Corff sighed as he thought more on the man. Corff hardly ever heard the man talk. Well. The man hardly ever talked to him to begin with. Hawke just glared a hole through him. Never saying a word. Being a bartender tends to make a person more observant. Giving them the ability to read their patrons. Hawke was not fully there in his head. Corff would swear on his mother. That Hawke guy had a chip on his shoulder. And a very large one at that. Then again that huge sharp shoulder guard might have been the chip.

Corff gave off a yawn which broke his train of thought. It was then he heard the door open. He looked off towards the front door and greeted the person who came in. "Welcome back to the Hanged Man." Corff said towards the elf. One of the other people that Varric knew. He was starting to become a regular. What was his name again? Fenris. It had to be. From what he heard was that the elf was a slave on the run. Varric had asked him to look out for suspect people. People who would be after that white haired elf. Corff gave the elf a wave. Fenris responded by giving a small awkward wave. Him and that elf hardly talked. Just like himself and Hawke. Two of Varric's friends who didn't talk much. Well. That is until you piss them off. Strange thing happened. That elf walked over to him and sat down on a stool. Well. This was going to be interesting. He walked over to the elf and gave him a look. Didn't look like the elf would be interested in an ale. From what Varric said. This guy liked wine. Corff gave Fenris a smile and went to the back quickly. He soon came back out with a bottle of wine. The elf's eyes lit up. "I know what you like to drink. Here you go." Corff said happily with a smile. The elf gave a small smile and took the bottle. He hesitated on opening it though. As if realizing something. Corff wagered it was the fact that the elf might not have money for it. His suspicion was true. "I... Do not have money on me to pay for this..." Fenris had said. Setting the bottle back down. "It's on me this time, Friend." Corff reassured. The elf looked at him. "Thank you. Corff." The elf said. Corff nodded and walked a short distance. Once again leaning on the counter. He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath through his nose. The morning was going by so calmly. It was a change form the usual loud and obnoxious rabble. "Is Hawke in his room today?" He heard the elf ask. Corff opened one eye and looked to the elf. Now that he thought about. He hasn't seen Hawke stop by last night. "He might be out and about at home." He said honestly. "Cause I haven't seen him come in." He finished. Fenris nodded. "Thank you." Corff gave a smile. The elf was rather polite dispite his demeanor towards the drunks. "Not a problm. Serah." Fenris let off a light laugh at this. Corff got off the counter of the bar and looked underneath. Making sure that the trays and tankards were in reach. He went about checking around the back of the bar. Ensuring that he had plenty of supplies. As he did this. He could feel the elf watching him. He didn't mind it. As long as he wasn't assaulted. He was fine with it. Though he highly doubt the elf would attack him. Corff stood up and looked through the window at the front of the tavern. It was beginning to get close to noon. He gave a slight hum to himself. Soon saying what is on his mind to the elf sitting at the bar. "It a bit strange to not have patrons coming in. Looks to be almost twelve." Fenris looked up at him setting the wine bottle down. "It... Is strange." The elf said looking around the tavern. "Is slow days a normal occurance here?" He asked Corff. The barman spared him a look. "Not exactly." The bartender said over his shoulder. Actually having a conversation with someone was more satisfing than listening to a drunk ramble on. Corff left the supplies alone and walked back to the bar. Now satisfied about being prepard. He glanced at the elf. He could tell the elf wished to talk about something. He just didn't know what.

A few minutes went by when the elf decided to talk to him. "Um... So. Corff..." The elf started. Corff walked over to him and gave a patient smile. "People come to talk a lot to you about their problems. Correct?" The elf asked. Corff gave a nod. "It is all part of being a bartender. I listen to people's problems. I can also give advice. A patron's best friend is the Barman." Corff said giving a stretch. The elf smiled a bit. Though it slowly faded. Corff tilted his head at the elf. Just by looking at the man infront of him. He knew it was something very pressing. He decided to give a wild guess. "Hawke?" Corff said suddenly. The elven warrior slightly jumped at the name. Looking at Corff taken aback. "Is it that obvious?" The elf asked. Corff nodded. "So what did you want to ask?" Corff continued. The elf gave a sigh. The barman could tell something was bothering him. As he waited for the elf to talk. People began to slowly make their way into the tavern. The elf gave off a sigh.

"It is strange to talk of this to someone..." The elf started.

"Whatever you need to say. By all means. Go right on ahead." Corff responded.

Fenris let out a short breath. "I am not sure what to say, exactly..."

"Well. You don't have to say anything. You know. It is up to you. If you want to talk. That is." Corff reassured.

"I suppose you are right." He said lowly.

"I am only right if you say so." Corff said with a shrug.

Fenris looked at him. Seemed the elf was mentally questioning that phrase. Corff just remained quiet.

"Do you have... A copy of the key to Hawke's suite?" The elf then asked.

Corff gave a nod and reached under the bar. Pulling a key out from around his neck as he set a box on the bar. After opening the box. He grabbed the spare key.

"His sister had this key. Now that she is in the Circle. Doesn't seem like she needs it." Corff said lowly. "You know I tried to stop her from leaving. Tried to warn her. But the lass was in such a hurry."

"Hawke was distraught about his sister..."

"Scariest I ever seen him." The bartender said handing over the key.

"You saw?"

"Yeah. Through the window. Heard him too. Gave me a night full of terrors." Corff huffed with a shiver.

"I guess so... Thank you for the room key." Fenris said. Corff stopped him.

"You still got something you want to say. Don't you?" The barman asked.

The elf looked down for a while. Before meeting the bartender's gaze. His face slightly heated up from whatever the question was.

"Umm... You've heard rumors of Hawke..." He started.

"Yeah. What kind you wanting to hear sir?" Corff asked leaning forward.

"Well. I been wanting to ask him. He always seems to jest. Rather darkly. About his... Umm..." The elf began to grow a darker red. His ears even turned the color.

"About his?" Corff waved his hand as if asking for more. Trying to get the elf to continue.

"I-is he... I mean. Have you heard... What is his... Does he enjoy..." The elf started to get flustered. Seemed he was struggling with the question.

Corff watched as the elf panicked a bit. Grabbing the bottle of wine and shooting his way off the bar stool. "N-never m-mind..." The elf said as he hurriedly paced away. That was just plain awkward. Not for Corff but more for the elf. His face showed it all. Corff silently wished he would find some way to get his answer. Corff had a sneaking suspicion that the elf enjoyed being around Hawke. Though it was not his place to wander off and spy. He simply shrugged and pulled out a stool from under the bar. He sat down to relax a bit more. Since the day was slow. Corff figured he might as well work on his speed griffion story. It was going to be so great!

-o-o-o-o-o-

A few days pass since Corff last talked to that Tevinter elf. Corff gave a yawn as he fixed a round of drinks. It was starting to get late. Several patrons were having fun and making fools of themselves. Corff was about hand the prepared tray to Norah. He hesitated though. He gave a sniff at her. She backed up giving a weird look at him. "You been drinking..." He said. Norah tried to play inncent. "No..." Corff stared at her as he leaned on the bar. "Maybe..." She said. Corff gave a disapproving hum. "Yes... Face it. You don't pay me enough to stay sober at work." She huffed. Corff shrugged and handed her the tray. She took it and hurried away. Today was a busy day. The main room of the bar suddenly went deathly quiet. Corff didn't have to be told who just walked into the bar. He looked towards the door to see Hawke making his way into the tavern. Corff had to admit the man sent chills down his spine. Hawke was by himself today. The large man made a bee line straight to the bar. It only took him about ten steps. Corff had to admit. The man was huge. Though it looked like the man had lost a bit of bulk to his frame. Corff suddenly wondered if the man hasn't been eating right. Hawke leaned against one of the support beams to the bar. The man may been void of emotion. Yet, something was wrong with him none the less. Corff wished he could read Hawke like he could everyone else. Hawke motioned for a pint to be placed before him. Corff filled a tankard and set it in front of the large man. Again. All the man did was stare at it. He then pulled out a bottle that he normally drank from. Corff resisted groaning. The man might as well be a damn cat. Wishing for a saucer of milk before purposefully shoving it off a table. Then meowing for another. Wait. Why did Corff just invision Hawke as cat? Maybe it was due to his long majestic flowing hair that seemed to defy gravity and flutter in nonexistant wind. Corff scratched his own head. He wished his hair looked as fluffy as Hawke's. What did that man use to wash his hair? Other than a gallon of blood from all the fights he gets involved in. Corff shook his head as another patron asked for a drink. He made his way over to tend to the customer. All the while getting chills from Hawke. He just knew something didn't sit right with that man. He cautiously made his way back towards Hawke. Minding to keep out of range from the larger man.

The bartender went about his business. Noticing how Hawke got slightly more and more agitated. The man's face starting to show his rage. The barman wondered what was pissing the big guy off this time. Out of the corner of his eye. He noticed Isabela making her way towards Hawke. Odd. Those two are hardly seen around one another. The look on Hawke's face dropped dangerously. Openingly glaring at the Rivainian woman. As to no suprise what the woman wanted. The barman could see Isabela tryng to get Hawke's attention. Though the man paid no mind. Even when she pulled her top open more. Corff nearly choked. That woman was too much! The way she flaunts herself. He tried hard on a daily basis to not openly oogle her assets. So how was a man like Hawke ignoring such advances? All Hawke did was growl at her. The pirate whined at him. She spoke too low for Corff to eavsedrop. The dusky pirate went to run her hand down Hawke's chest. The large man had lashed out and smacked her hand away. The sound was very loud and the pirate gave a suprised hiss. Isabela pulled her hand back and shook it out. "You are just making this challenging, Hawke." The pirate purred. Corff shook his head again. Maybe the pirate wasn't the large man's type. Either way Hawke ignored her. The woman pouted and swaggered off. Hawke seemed pleased to not be bothered by the woman. Isabela gave Corff a wink and walked towards the stairs. Presumably to her room. Corff looked back to the dark man leaning against his bar. The bartender gave a low sigh. Seeing that the dark man still hasn't touched the pint of ale. Corff inched his way over to the man. He needed Hawke to move. None of the other patrons wished to go to the bar. Not even the bravest of them wished to get near the bar with Hawke there. Corff hesitated talking to Hawke. The large man was currently attempting to down the entire bottle in his hand. Hawke stopped swilling the drink and narrowed his eye towards the barman. Corff was a bit nervous as he stood in close proximity to Hawke. "Is there something bothering you?" The barman asked. Hawke regarded him in silence. "Templars." Was all he said. It was enough for Corff. He has been hearing the restriction on visiting rights for mage's families.

"They not letting you see you're sister?" The bartender asked.

"Bunch of motherfucking sons of bitches..." Hawke murmured.

"Woah now. That is a bit harsh..." Corff whispered.

"Tck. Not harsh enough for all I fucking care..." The dark haired man growled.

"Umm. You going to drink the pint you ordered?" Corff said trying to change the subject.

Hawke looked down at the tankard. "No." He said firmly.

"Then... Why do you always order when you don't drink it?" Corff asked. A few people turned to look at him.

Hawke got off the beam and looked down at him. Setting his bottle down on the counter. Corff stood his ground. Looking up to Hawke. Hawke rolled his shoulders and leaned down to be even with the Bartender. "Because I feel like ordering one." Hawke said lowly before standing up straight and walking away. Leaving the drink alone. Corff sighed. He took the pint and sipped it. If Hawke wasn't going to drink it. He would. Though drinking on the job is not a good idea. Yet with ale like this. He would need a whole barrel to get shitfaced drunk. The barman contined to sip from the tankard as he watched Hawke leave the main room. Either he was heading to Varric's room or his own. Corff slightly wondered what was eating at the dark haired man. Well. Other than everything that breathes. He seemed beyond pissed about the restrictions for mage's families in the Gallows. A lot of people said they see Hawke there till late into the night. Some of the templars who come to get drinks whisper about him as well. They see him sit with his sister. Odd thing of all. Was the way Hawke interacted with his sister. One templar explained that Hawke sat in a corner with his sister. His sister had sat in his lap. Playing with his long hair and just generally reading to him. Sounded very weird to most of the templars. Hell. It sounded weird to Corff. In all the time he saw Hawke interact with his sister. It was not in the normal brotherly way. If Corff had to say anything. It was in a weird intimate way. Corff remained silent as he recalled all the times Hawke was near his sister. Hawke's sister was sweet and kind compared to Hawke, himself. He was goinng to go further into his thoughts. When they were broken.

Corff stopped drinking from the tankard and looked forward. Two patrons were getting a bit loud. The bar man frowned. Corff glared over to them. They better not start a fight. He hoped they didn't start a fight. He continued to watch as the arguement got louder. He gave a groan as he called out to them. "Take it outside you two!" The two men turned to him and made their way over to him. The bartender gripped the now half empty tankard in his hand. "Why don't you make us?" One threatened. Clearly they weren't drunk. "I really don't want to fight you. I also rather not have another bar fight. A man got his head ripped off last time by Hawke..." Corff groaned as he ran his hand through his short hair. "Ah. You chicken mister barman?" The other man said leaning onto the bar now. His buddy started to inch his way to the entrance behind the bar counter. "I am not a chicken. I am warning you. Just take yourselves outside. We don't need drama in the Hanged Man." Corff said tightening his grip on the pint in his hand even more. He got the arguement to stop but now he was their prime focus. Maybe he should have just stayed quiet. He caught the other man make his way behind the bar. He looked forward to the blonde in front of him. Corff leaned on the counter to get even in the blonde's face. Slow reaching for the glass bottle left by Hawke. "I suggest you piss off serah. Otherwise I will start decorating the floor with your blood. And believe me. It won't be pretty." He said taking a sip of ale. He can play this game too. He watched as the man in front of him paled. He soon felt the blonde's friend closing in on him. People should respect the bartender. He could be their best friend or their worst enemy. He pretended to close his eyes as he took another sip. He saw the signal from the blonde and dodged to the side. Right when the blonde's friend lunged. Corff snatched the red bottle and smashed it into the man's head. Just now taking note of the brown hair on the man he hit. He watch as blood started to come from the man's forehead. "Please refrain from bleeding all over the counter serah." He said kicking the man off the bar. "Ugh. Too late. Look at what you did... Now I have to clean it up." He said as he took another sip of ale and backed up out of the blonde's grasp. The other patrons watched in awe as Corff swung at the blonde. Shattering the glass bottle over his head. A dark red drink mixed with the man's blood flew everywhere with the glass shards. The blonde fell backwards to the floorboard covered concrete. Corff glanced at the stairs to see Hawke making his way downstairs along with Varric and Isabela. The bartender smiled a bit as he ducked down from an attack from the brown headed man. Turning swiftly to bust the remaining glass bottle right in the man's face. "Ouch. You gonna need to see a healer for that!" He said shooting forward to pinned the man against a beam with the broken bottle. "Don't blink, Friend." The bartender laughed as he slammed the glass bottle into the wooden beam. Before roughly shoving the man up and over the counter. "You guys can take them out now. No killing this time, Hawke. Just leave them in the alleyway!" He said over his shoulder pulling free a clothe to clean the blood off his bar. He finished the ale and set it aside. He watched as Hawke, Isabela, and Varric drag the two men out. The patrons in the tavern started to cheer for Corff. The barman smiled and shrugged as he tossed the clothe over his shoulder. Pulling another out of his pocket to clean the tankard. "Always be nice to your Bartender people. Least I have to put you in your place." He laughed. Who said being a bartender was boring? He may not look it. But everyone who cross him never do it again. He watched as the three tenants walk back up to him. "Need a drink?" He asked. Varric laughed. "We watched you from upstairs. Man. Corff. You never said you could fight!" The dwarf said excitedly. "I can fight. I just chose not to. Oh. I might owe you a bottle, Hawke." The barman responded. The dark man laughed. "That was entertaining. You don't have to worry about it. Bartender." Hawke said with a pleased hum. Isabela leaned onto the counter. "Me thinks. Our Bartender needs a raise." The pirate purred. Corff shrugged. "Not really. I am good with being everyone's friend." The bartend said as he fixed a round of ale for the three. "This is on me. Also Hawke. I know you aren't going to drink it. But here you go anyway." Corff said giving them their ale. Hawke looked at him. "I don't drink it because it is stale and smells like piss. I do have standards." The dark haired man said. "Well I might have to get a drink that meets your standards." Corff said. Varric and Isabela looked at Hawke and shrugged.

Corff could say he spent the rest of the day having a nice conversation with the three. Hawke remained silent for the most part. Though it was good to relax. No other patron chose to cause trouble in the bar for the rest of the week.

* * *

 _A/N I love the Barman to death! I wish more people would write about him.  
I kinda see corff as a chill AF. As well as being a bad ass. though seriously Corff needs a promotion XD_

 _P.S. I have two beta readers for this story and a spell check program. So apologies if there is still any errors.  
I am trying my best guys :3 I adore your continued support for this story!_


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34 Not Their Type**

 _A/N_ _Focus alternates between Fenris and Isabela. With A bit of Hawke._

* * *

Fenris walked into the Hanged Man close to nightfall. Having been unable to go to sleep. It has been over eight months since him and the others returned from the Deep Roads. Varric has been spending more time with Hawke. Mainly for business purposes. It was a good thing Varric was the one dealing with the buyers instead of Hawke. Fenris doubted Hawke would even tolerate strangers. Or paperwork... Fenris gave a sigh as he walked up to Corff the bartender. The barman waved at him and set a drink on the counter for him before scurring away to tend to another. A few weeks back. Fenris learned from Hawke that Corff dealt with two unruly patrons on his own. Varric even said that Corff never set down the ale he was sipping as he kicked their ass. Fenris wished he could of seen that. Why did he always miss the best bar fights? He sat down at the bar and took the pint. Staring at it briefly before bringing it to his mouth. He watched as Corff worked. Looking down at the bar counter. He wondered if Hawke was here or at home. For some reason Fenris perfered being in Hawke's Hanged Man suite when he was troubled. He wasn't even sure if Hawke would approve. He glanced back at Corff. "Corff. Is Hawke in tonight?" He asked. The bartender looked over his shoulder before answering. "Nah. He ain't come in today. Nor yesterday... Or the day before that. Guess the big guy is busy." Fenris gave a nod as he pondered on what could be keeping Hawke. Maybe it dealt with Varric? "What about Varric?" He asked. Corff turned to him and propped himself up with one hand. Running the other through his short sandy hair. "He came in yesterday. Guessing he been sitting at the Merchant's Guild. He looked bored out of his mind." Corff answered. "What of tonight though?" Fenris questioned. Corff gave a slight laugh. "So many questions, Friend. Alright. He did come in. But it was by himself. If you wondering. Said something about getting some sleep." The bartender said standing up straight. Fenris gave a nod of understanding. He stood up and set the pint he was drinking down. He never did like the taste of it. But. He shouldn't be too picky. It could always be much worse than this. As he gave a nod of thanks to Corff. Fenris turned to make his way towards the stairs. He wondered silently if it would hurt to go into Hawke's room. He wasn't exactly paying attention when Isabela jumped out in front of him. She literally jumped in front of him. He had to find his footing quickly least he would of fell backward after colliding with her. She stumbled back and just laughed. "Oh Sweet Thing. You need to pay attention. Who knows what sort of person is going to jump you next." She let off a giggle as she watched him hold onto the wall to steady himself. He let out an irrated huff as he glared at her. His markings shimmering lowly. He hated when she did that. "When a person is deep in thought. It would be wise not to jump in front of them." He growled. She tutted and leaned forward with her hands on her hips. "What? You would rather I shout at you to look where you going?" She asked. Fenris stood up more and shot her a look. "Yes." He deadpanned. She rolled her eyes as she straighted up. "That's not fun. Besides. I wanted to touch you." She grinned. Fenris let off a very low growl as he walked around her. "I rather you didn't, Isabela..." He didn't like the idea of her touching him. It made his skin crawl more so than Hawke's touch. He could feel her following him. He slightly wondered what she wanted from him.

Isabela gave a Fenris a once over. She adored teasing that elf. "Where you going?" She asked following close behind him. She chose to ingore the look he gave her. Seems like the prickly elf was ignoring her. She didn't like being ignored. She watched him walk to Hawke's Hanged Man suite. Now she was never allowed in there. Hawke made it pretty obvious that no one was allowed. She frowned as she saw him open the door using a key. She hopped up right behind him. "Whatcha doin?" She asked cutely getting him to stiffen by how close she was to him. She heard Fenris give off a growl. "Leave me alone, Isabela..." The elf groaned. She gave a playful smile as she pushed past him and went into the room.

"Ohh~ Such a pretty color. But why is it so dark?" She asked looking around.

"Isabela. Get out!" Fenris started as he walked into the room.

"Why should I? You're in here too." She countered.

"I am allowed in here, Woman!" The elf fumed.

Isabela pouted at him. "Aww. Why am I not allowed?" She faked a whine with mock sadness.

"I doubt Hawke would even want you in here." Fenris shot back a bit harshly. Isabela merely rolled her eyes.

"So you are the only one allowed? That seems iffy." She said as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Bethany is allowed as well..."

"The poor girl is in the Circle..."

"..."

"Anyway. Why do you get to be in this room? Are you his boy toy or something?" The pirate queen laughed. Amused by her own suggestion.

"I am not!" The tips of Fenris's ears turned a slight red color. He was trying not to let that sentence bother him.

"I have seen you and Hawke spend nights together in this room before. I also only see one bed." She said with a cat like grin.

"It isn't like that." The elf defended.

"Come on. Who wouldn't want to sleep with him. Makes a person wonder just how big he really is." She said making a gesture.

"Just stop, Isabela. And quit being filthy minded!" He huffed. Isabela only laughed.

"Aww. I can't. Sweet Thing. It is just who I am. So." She said eyeing him a bit luridly.

Fenris paled a bit. He had no idea where that woman's mind just went.. But judging by that look in her eye. It was not something pure and innocent. He really didn't want to have to explain to Hawke why Isabela was in his room. "Just get out." He ordered. Isabela made a frowny face at him. "Make me." She challenged. Fenris gave a sigh. He just wanted to be alone and sit somewhere he was comfortable. After the whole wearing Hawke's eye patch deal. Fenris was allowed to come to this room whenever he felt like it. Which was weird at first considering how Hawke hated being nice. Either way. Hawke allowed him access to the room. Key word being **allowed**. "Look Isabela. I just want to be left alone..." He said a bit tiredly. He truly did not want to deal with the pirate tonight. Though the look on her face showed she had something rather vulgar in mind. "Plan on having a little five on one, huh?" She said with a catty grin. Fenris physically flinched out of disgust. "Maker. What is wrong with you? Why would I even want to do such a thing?" He questioned in slight disbelief. Of all the things Fenris disliked. Touching himself was probably on the top of that list. Especially considering what he has been through. Yet there was no point telling the pirate whore that. She would just start questioning how he got off on his own. And Fenris really. Really. Didn't want to share anything on that subject with her. Though he might just share with Hawke. He paused in slight realizaton that he would probably more comfortable talking about sex with Hawke than with Isabela. The pirate wasn't a dark sexual deviant as Hawke made himself out to be. Fenris then remembered that Isabela was talking. He didn't care what she was saying to be honest. He just wanted her to leave. "I don't want to hear any exploits of your's Isabela. Now please just leave." Fenris said while rubbing his forehead. Isabela gave a whine but shrugged before swaggering her way past him. She stopped in the doorway and looked at him. "Just so you know. When it comes to sex. I can tell when a person is thinking about it. And Sweetie. Your like an open book at times." She said with a laugh. Fenris spun to around to question her but she had already closed the door behind her. Fenris felt his face heat up. What did she mean he was like an open book. If it was truly that plain on his face. He wondered if Hawke picked up on it too. Wait. What if the others could tell his thoughts. He need to be more careful. More controlled. He shouldn't let such thoughts bombard him when he is with the others. Namely Hawke. That man was unpredictable at times. Hawke also seems to act more on instinct. A chill ran up Fenris's spine then. The idea that Hawke could easily read Fenris's face during certain trains of thought. Fenris did not wish to give a wrong message. Hawke was a very sharp minded person. Though Fenris was unsure what Hawke was interested in. He remembered he tried to ask Corff about it. The bar man had heard many rumors. Fenris had hoped that Corff might had heard about Hawke's sexual preferance. Though he couldn't bring himself to ask the whole question. Hawke made a lot of jests about his own sexuality. Though the dark man was never clear with the messages he was sending. Fenris slightly wondered if Hawke even cared. Fenris let off a sigh as he walked over to the table. Fenris was unsure if he should remain here or just head home.

-o-o-o-o-

The next day was slow. Isabela gave a sigh. She knew she shouldn't have teased Fenris. But she just couldn't help it. When it came to Hawke. She could easily fluster that elf by putting Hawke's name into the conversation. She sat a short distance away from the bar. Giving the drink in front of her a sip. She noticed Fenris walking from upstairs. At the same exact time. Hawke comes walking into the tavern. She sees the elf stop at the top of the stairs. She looked over to Hawke. He seemed a bit irrated at the moment. Maybe she could help relax him a bit. The ideas started popping into her head. She grinned happily and nearly had a nose bleed at the thoughts alone. She gave a laugh getting up quickly and walked towards Hawke. He seemed to notice her approach as he sat down at the bar. He sharply glared at her. She didn't mind. After all. Hawke was normally a dick to everyone. Even his friends. Was she his friend? She doubted it. Hawke was just someone she talked to. A guy she dragged into her mess. So far. He has always been there for her. Despite his violent tendency. She smiled up at him warmly. Her eyes roving over his figure as he crossed his arms. She gave a light laugh as she scooted closer to him.

"Hey there Big Boy~" She purred knowing a certain elf was watching from a distance.

Hawke raised his eyebrow and gave a scowl. Seems he was wondering what she was up to.

"Aww. You know silent types are more challenging." She whispered.

"The fuck you want Pirate whore?" Hawke asked sharply.

Isabela pulled back with mock hurt. "Hawke. You think I want something from you? Perish the thought!"

Hawke narrowed his eye at her. "What are you getting at..."

"I just wanted to keep you company Sweet Thing." She purred setting a hand on his leg.

Hawke shot a withering look at her. She flintched but shoved the feeling aside. After all he didn't say to stop.

"You are tredding on very thin ice Isabela..." Hawke warned.

"I got you to call me by my name. Didn't I?" She purred.

"I suggest getting your damn hand off me..." Hawke said dropping his voice dangerously.

"Fine. But, you are making this way too difficult." She said sliding her hand off of his leg.

"I rather make it impossible for you. Considering you aren't even remotely my type." He said with a sneer.

Isabela paused as she looked seriously at him. "And what is your type exactly?" She asked.

"Like I would tell you?" He gave a snort as he turned from her then. Ordering a drink from Corff.

Isabela felt put down by his comment and the fact he wouldn't even tell her. It made her mad. "Oh come on. There must be some way I could be your type." She said seductively. Hawke glanced at her for a brief moment. His hand grabbing the pint set down in front of him. "Not even in the slightest, Whore." He growled. Isabela leaned forward again putting her chest into his view. He rolled his eye at this and looked up at her. "Those are not going to work on me." He said slowly. She frowned when he didn't even seem interested. What was up with this guy? A lot of men stare at her breasts. Even if they didn't want to sleep with her. But Hawke. He just looked bored by the display. What was up with him? She watched as Hawke turned his attention to the pint in front of him. She huffed and went to run her hand over his leg again. He glared at her before throwing his ale at her. She sputtered as she stepped back. Glaring at Hawke as he stood up. "Don't touch me again. Isabela." He said as he walked past her. She watched him make his way towards the stairs. Fenris seem to have watched the entire thing happen. She saw the elf move out of Hawke's way before giving her a look. He quickly followed Hawke.

-o-o-o-o-

The next day Fenris walked through his mansion taking a slow drink from a bottle of wine. Having just came from taking a bath. He wore nothing but his lose leggings and a shirt. He sighed as he recalled talking to Hawke yesterday. Asking what Isabela did to get ale thrown in her face. All Hawke had responded with was "She ain't my type." Fenris quietly pondered on this. So Hawke was not attracted to Isabela. He walked through the door to his room and sat down. He looked at the fire place. Watching the fire dance as it gave off warm light in the room. Fenris ran a hand through his hair before taking another drink. He hears the front door of his mansion open. He listens closely. The footsteps are not heavy... He suddenly stands up. Who else would come over to his mansion? He knew for certain that Aveline was working right now. It couldn't be Varric because he would always announce himself. He slowly reached for his great sword leaning against the table. He let off a sigh as he saw the person walk through the door. He glared at the pirate before him. "Oh. You seem tense." She purred. Fenris rolled his eyes and moved from his sword. That pirate was a bit insufferable. Though he figured there was worse company. He walked over to the fire where his armor was. He felt a bit underdressed in the pirate's presence. Then again he always felt underdressed when his armor was not on. He felt vulnerable. Which he didn't like. He soon paused his steps. He could feel Isabela watching him. He gave a inward groan. "Is there something you want, Isabela?" He asked. She swaggered her way into his room. He ignored her for the most part. Giving a yawn as he strethed a bit. He could feel her walk right up to him. He looked over to her. She gave a small smile. "What? Can I not visit my favorite brooding elf before I set off." She said looking him up and down. What did she mean by set off? Was she leaving Kirkwall? "Where are you going exactly?" He asked as curiousity got the better of him. He saw her smile as she inched closer to him. This distances was unacceptable. He moved away from her. "I can't really say. I wanted someone to know I was leaving." She said following his retreat. Fenris did not like how close she was. He took a drink before moving away from the fireplace. He could hear Isabela huff. He walked over to the table. Setting the bottle of wine down. "Why tell me? We are not exactily friends..." He said honestly. He hardly had any sort of strong bond with the pirate. "Well. I was wondering on how you would feel if we made out." She said slyly. Fenris froze. Thank the Maker he didn't have any drink in his mouth. He would have either spat it out or choked on it. He felt an odd chill go down his spine. He didn't like that feeling. "You're joking." He said trying to mask how uncomorftable he was with the idea. "Come on Sweet Thing. Have you ever kissed a woman?" She purred. Fenris frowned deeply. That must of been the only reason she came over. He remember her coming over a few other times. It was mainly to flirt with him. Why should he be suprised that she would flirt with him again? "Look I am not even going to entertain that idea of your's Isabela." He said truthfully. She pouted. "Oh come on. It isn't that bad." She laughed. Fenris shook his head. "It can be real quick. Your boyfriend won't have to know." She said giving a wink. Fenris quickly turned to her. His eyes wide and his face starting to flush. "Hawke isn't my boyfriend! That is just something you wrote in your head." He shot back sharply. She simply laughed at him. "If he isn't your boyfriend then kiss me!" She said strutting right up to him. "I am not going to kiss you." He growled taking a step back from her. She simply persued him. "Just stop, Isabela. I am not kissing you or anyone!" He spat.

Isabela gaved a mock pout. "Oh please. It will be fun, Fenris. If you never kissed anyone before. I can surely show you." She said licking her lips. Fenris gave her a shocked look. He backed away from her again. The back of his legs hitting the table. Isabela placing both her hands on either side of him. It seemed he began to sweat a bit. Isabela could tell just by his face. That he was very uncomfortable with this. She gave a sigh and before she could say she was just teasing him. Both her and Fenris hears a deep threatening growl. Fenris's face seemed to pale. Okay. That elf must be lying to himself. He keeps saying he has no feelings for Hawke. Yet all his actions say other wise. If she had something to say about it. She would say Fenris was fanboying over Hawke. She then remebered that Hawke was in the room now. She quickly pulled back. Though it was a bit to late as Hawke gave her a glare. "The fuck is going on here..." He growled lowly. "Isabela was harrasing me." Fenris said as he moved away from Isabela. She looked at him while pouting. "Oh come on. You both are no fun." She said giving a huff. She could feel Hawke's eye focusing intently on her. She looked up at him. "So tall, dark, and handsome. You ever kissed a woman?" Hawke remained silent before answering. "Yes. My mother." He said honestly. She nearly laughed at this. "And you kiss your mother with your flithy mouth?" She tried to hold in a laugh. "Hawke. You curse worse than a sailor!" She couldn't help but laugh at this. "If you want a kiss from me. Then it will be at the underside of my boot in your damn face." He warned. Isabela suddenly frowned. "You don't have to be a dick about it!" She shot back. "Yes. I do. Because people won't listen other wise. Also. It is fun as fuck." He laughed as he looked down at her. Isabela set her hands on her hips and pouted once again. "You know you are a jerk." She said. "I am aware. And guess what? I don't care." Hawke said turning from her. Isbaela just had about enough. She turned from the two men and made her way out of the room. Straight towards the front door of the mansion.

Fenris looked at Hawke after the pirate queen left. He noticed Hawke regarding him in an odd way. The look in the man's eye made him feel warm. Much different than how Isabela made him feel. He assumed it was because he was used to Hawke's sexual harrasment. For some reason the whole kissing idea was still in his head. He couldn't help but look to Hawke's mouth. A very weird thought popped into his head. Wondering what the larger man tasted like. He tore his gaze from Hawke's mouth as he heard the larger man give a growl. "I asked. If you were okay." Hawke said lowly. Fenris was tacken aback. Hawke hardly ever asks how someone was feeling. "I am fine. Isabela is just going to be Isabela." Fenris said responding to Hawke. He watched as the man shrugged. Though the look on the larger man's face was a bit different from how he looked normally. It looks like the idea of Isabela being around him seemed to piss Hawke off. Though Fenris was not sure if that was what Hawke really felt. Fenris suddenly heard Hawke murmur something. It was along the line of, "Damn whore better stay away from him." Fenris shook his head wondering if he heard that correctly. "Anyway. Did you want to go to the Hanged Man. I am free for the evening... Not that it matters..." He said not really paying attention to Fenris. Fenris was shocked that Hawke was giving him the option to join. "I have nothing better to do. But remember what I said yesterday evening." Fenris said. Hawke looked at him. "Yeah, yeah. You decided to do merc work. Big deal." Hawke said. "It is a big deal to me, Hawke..." Fenris said looking up to his dark friend. Right. He felt like Hawke was his Friend. Despite how dark the other man was. Fenris still thought of Hawke as his friend. "Yeah. I know, Fenris. Just don't get killed. Else I'll beat the shit out of your corpse. And then some." Hawke warned. Fenris felt his face heat up. More out of embarressment on how Hawke said it. It was rather caring if one thought long and hard on it. Fenris gave a nod. "Fair enough. Just let me get my armor on and we can head over to the Hanged Man." Fenris said as Hawke gave a light smile.

* * *

 _A/N Well here you guys go! If you haven't noticed.  
Each chapter skips a few months. So by the 41st chapter. It will be three years passed.  
Next up is Aveline!  
_


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35 Doing Her Job**

 _A/N Starts with Hawke then focuses on Aveline. And so much more dialogue than the last chapter._

* * *

It was late evening in Kirkwall. Hawke was on the boat towards the gallows. He hasn't been able to see his sister in a long time. His mother was concerned about Bethany not writing to her. It has been three weeks since he seen her. It has been nearly a week when Bethany didn't write. Mother wished for him to go visit his dear sister and ask if she was doing okay. Hawke didn't like the idea of having to visit his sister less and less. The last few weeks. He has been turned away by the same templar over and over again. He tried to ask Cullen if he could see his sister. Though some bald templar kept intercepting him. He didn't know why. But he hated this templar more so than the others in the gallows. He didn't know the man's name. But this templar didn't seem to be phased at all like the others. Thrask still avoided him while glaring at him. This templar though. Went out of his way to talk to Hawke. Hawke had such a terrible feeling around this templar. Hawke couldn't even read this templar. That fake smile and constant stare was all Hawke could see. The man had strange sense of talking as well. As if he was pleased all the time. Hawke gave a growl as he stepped off the boat at the gallows. He looked around and made a beeline straight towards Cullen. He let off an irritated sigh as he was stopped by that same templar. "Ah. Serah Hawke. Welcome back. Have you come to buy weapons from our newest Tranquil mage?" The man said smiling. Hawke glared at the templar. His patience was beginning to wear incredibly thin with this man. To make it worse was the fact he brought a young female recruit. How utterly wonderful for what happened next.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A week later in the Viscount's Keep. Aveline gave a sigh as she sat down behind her desk. Looking over the duty rosters for the next week. She set the papers aside and picks up the stack right beside them. She looked over the papers as she leaned back in her chair. Nothing of any real interest. Just mild complaints concerning nobles bitching about their neighbors. She flipped through each sheet. She then paused rereading one. She set it aside and continued to go through the rest. She set aside more papers that were similar to the first. She gave another sigh knowing she would have to go over and talk to her friend concerning his mansion. Yet again. She decides to head over to him today about it. Hoping he is home. Knowing that he worked as a mercenary. Meant that he was mostly gone. Giving a sigh, she flips through the last few pages as she gets up. She walks around her desk and stops. Staring at the last page. Hawke's name was on it. And the description provided was none too flattering. The exact opposite to be certain. She hoped to the Maker that the person complaining was just exaggerating. For if the complaint was true. She would be forced to put her friend in jail. If she really did consider him to be her friend. She was mainly a friend of the family. Not necessarily Hawke's friend. She folds the paper up and puts it in her pocket. Picking up the roster schedule before leaving out. She makes her way out of her office past the other guards. Posting the roster and quickly leaving the barracks. She needed to find out if the complaint was true or not concerning a certain sadist masochist. She needed to find Hawke. Now rather than later. She knew for certain that Hawke won't lie. That was something he seemed incapable of doing. Still hoping that the complaint was just a misunderstanding. Though part of her felt like there was no mistake about it. She should stop by Fenris's place before venturing to the Hawke's home. Maker forbid if she had to give the news to Leandra that her son had assaulted an authority figure. A small part of herself wonders if Hawke's mother even knows about his 'problems'.

She makes her way towards Fenris's mansion. She knows a back alley that Hawke takes. Having followed him once before. She had to admit. The large man was shifty as well as stealthy. Making her wonder if the man was really a rogue. Though concerning his overwhelming abilities. She highly doubted he could disappear into thin air in broad daylight. She shook her head as she stopped in front of her friend's house. For moment she wondered why she came here first instead of straight to Hawke's home. With a shrug, she walks in. In truth she rather talk to Fenris and get his help than another guard. "Fenris. Are you here?" She called out from the foyer. She waits at the bottom of the stairs. Looking around the house. It was still a horrendous mess. She sighed running a hand over a stray lock of hair. She must admit. He is making some effort to clean the place. The corpses were gotten rid of. She looks around once more. She soon turns to leave but is stopped. "I'm sorry for responding late, Aveline." Her friend said. She turns to face the white haired elf walking in from one of the back rooms. Assumingly the kitchen. "So you are back from your recent mission." She said looking at him. She noticed that the main part of his armor was gone. "Yes. I did. Again. Sorry for the delay. Hawke was being rather... Umm..." The elf trailed off as he pondered on the proper word to describe what the large man was doing. Aveline didn't give him the time to say it. "Hawke is here?" She asked. Fenris looked at her. "Of course. The day I got back. He was here pilfering the wine cellar." The elf explained. Aveline nodded. "I knew I must of stopped here first for a reason." She said crossing her arms. She was always good following her gut instincts. Her friend gave her an inquiring look. "Look. I need to talk to Hawke concerning an **incident**. Maker willing he didn't do it." She said looking past Fenris. Fenris looked over his shoulder. "I am sure what ever it was. It will not be of any great consequence." He said calmly. "Not according to the complaints." She said dropping her arms to her side. Promptly walking past her elven friend. In all the time Fenris been here. She had grown close to him over the near two years she known him. When something bothered him. He would talk to her. And when something bothered her. She would head over to his place to talk. Deep down he was really sweet. Despite the harsh and somewhat sour demeanor. Considering where he came from. She could see how bothered he is by what happened to him in the past. She would never talk to him about it unless he wanted to. After all. She didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. She could feel him following her into the kitchen. She paused as she saw Hawke eating raw pork and beef. "That is the problem I was having with him... He seems to prefer food. Rare... Despite how unhealthy..." Fenris said crossing his arms beside her. Hawke paused chewing on a piece of beef. The blood from it dripping down from his mouth. Proving that the food must of been fresh. "Hawke is a precise butcher." Fenris said looking at Aveline. Aveline gave a nod before walking over to Hawke. He simply watched her as he slowly swallowed the piece. She felt a bit sick as a memory flashed through her mind. Something he did so long ago. She shivered. "Ugh..." She said without realizing. "Do I disgust you, Aveline?" Hawke asked lowly. Aveline shook her head. "No. Just thought you would prefer eating is somewhat cooked." She said. Trying to cover up her uneasiness. Hawke narrowed his eye at her. _'Damn it... He knows I'm lying..."_ She thought. Giving a groan she answered. "I was remembering what you did nearly a two years ago. With the whole blood thing..." Hawke gave a hum. "See. It is much easier to tell the truth than it is to lie. After all. I don't lie to you or the others." He droned. Aveline took a step towards him. "Yes. And I need to ask you a serious question, Hawke." She stressed. Fenris walked up towards them. Taking that moment to get his food from out of Hawke's reach.

Hawke looked at Aveline waiting for her to continue. She took a deep breath before staring him in the eye. "I got a complaint from Knight Commander Cullen concerning you, Hawke." She voiced loudly making herself more authoritative.

"You're point being, Aveline?" Hawke droned with little to no interest.

"You assaulted a senior templar last week in the Gallows. Cullen claims that this templar was left with moderate wounds and lacerations. All because of you." Aveline frowned glaring up at Hawke.

Hawke gave a mild laugh as he grinned darkly. "Yeah... What of it?" He said clearly not caring.

"What in the void provoked you to harass and assault this man? You could of killed him!" She said raising her voice.

Hawke rolled his eye as he shook his head. He then glared pointedly at her. "The bastard refuse to let me see Bethany. Saying I am over visiting or some bullshit." He growled.

"You assaulted him for doing his job?" She sounded taken aback.

"Damn straight... For some fucking reason the Gallows been having more tranquil shipped to them or something." Hawke started.

Aveline remained silent to listen to his on coming rant.

"Not like I give a flying fuck... Yet Bethany has been writing mother less and less. I didn't like the limitation on visitation rights. But this is starting to be a bunch of fucking bullshit." Hawke growled crossing his arms. The tips of his gauntlets digging into his skin.

"So. Let me get this straight. Bethany is writing less to Leandra. And you went to see why?" She said trying to make sense of his motives.

"Correct."

"Assaulting the templar was due to him not letting you see her."

"Correct..."

"Because he refused to let you see her. It suddenly became okay to assault innocent people?" Aveline scowled as she tried to make it clear to Hawke that this was wrong.

"The fucking templars ain't innocent. They get drugged up and so fucking high off of lyrium they can't even think or see straight. It is a surprise they can tell the difference between their ass from a hole in the ground." Hawke huffed.

"That doesn't give you the right to attack them!" Aveline shouted. Making Fenris jump and stare at her from the table he was at. He had to set the knife he was cutting meat with down.

"He was the one that decided to show off in front of the recruits!" Hawke barked.

"What do you mean?" Aveline asked.

"Simply put. The damn senior templar asshole decided to show how big his dick was and show off to some new female recruit. I had asked to see my sister cause I haven't seen her in three weeks. He decided to wave his fucking hand in my face. As if trying to shoo off a fly. When I refused to go. He decided to try to shove me away. The fucker looked drunk off his ass." Hawke spat as he uncrossed his arms.

"And you did not go there to start something?"

"Mother told me to try and be nice. Look where it got me. A fucking lyrium addled templar attempted to shove a sword up my ass!" Hawke shot back. His voice raised making both Aveline and Fenris flinch.

Aveline sighed as she rubbed her forehead. Maker this was giving her a headache. Yet if Hawke says he went there without the intent to hurt someone. Then he was telling the truth. And if the templar he fought was in fact intoxicated. Hawke would not be the one to suffer the punishment considering he was merely defending himself. In order to get this complaint straitened up. She needed to go to the Gallows and bring Hawke. Talk to Cullen and the templar Hawke 'defended' himself from. This was going to result in so much paper work. She just knew it. "Look Hawke. For me to clear this up and not put you in jail for attempted murder. You need to go with me to the Gallows and explain to Cullen what you did. As well as point out which templar you... defended... yourself from." Aveline said giving a sigh. "Easy. A bald blue eyed fuck with a long white goatee-like beard." Hawke huffed. Aveline groaned. "Stop saying the F word. It is extremely inappropriate." Aveline said. "I don't see no damn children around." Hawke countered. Aveline face palmed as she turned around and walked out of the kitchen. Leaning against the door frame, she gave a long slow breath. Behind her, she can hear Fenris hissing and bickering with Hawke to stay away from his food. Aveline slowly shifts against the door frame till she rests on the floor. She hears a sharp growl from Hawke. "Fucking Elf. I helped pay for that shit!" Fenris scoffed. "I don't care! You aren't going to stuff your damn face!" Aveline turned to look at them. "Don't make me cut you, Hawke." Fenris warned pointing the knife slightly at Hawke. Hawke just laughed at this. "This is the one of the reasons I enjoy coming over here. You actually have the balls to take me on!" Hawke said with a deep odd purring sound. It confused Aveline how the dark haired man even did that. It was a mix between what sounded like a laugh and a growl. She looked over to Fenris who just shrugged as if this was all a normal occurrence for him. "Pissing you off may not be wise. Yet the adrenaline that comes with it is worth it." Fenris said giving a low laugh. Aveline couldn't help but smile. Though. She had to admit this relationship was a bit messed up. Fenris and Hawke seemed to feed off each other. They both seem to bitch at each other about one thing or another. Mainly agreeing with each other on many things. It was almost like they canceled each other out. She figured they still must have some sort of disagreements. Even their sadistic humor seemed to worry her. Yet they were always fine with it. She gave another sigh before standing up.

"Alright you two. Enough with verbally assaulting each other." Aveline said with a slight smile.

"Oh that is just us being friends with each other, Aveline." Fenris said finally putting the cut meat into a container. "I can't forget about this. Other wise it would ruin..."

"Try sticking it in a frige." Hawke suggested.

"Isn't that what nobles put their food?" Aveline asked.

Hawke gave a hum before responding. "It is a metal box with a giant ass cube of solid ice and woodchips in the sides of it." Hawke said.

"I am nearly poor as shit, Hawke..." Fenris deadpanned.

"Better save your money then, Fenris." Hawke gave a yawn before eyeing the food.

Aveline couldn't help but laugh at the two men. She felt at ease in that moment. It was good to hear some form of friendly banter involving Hawke and Fenris. Though the moment those two walk in public. They turn cold towards others. She guessed the two of probably socialized better with people they know. Hawke has been talking more and more to her. Though she wished her friendship with him moved as fast as it did with Fenris. She regarded them with a smile before remembering that she need to get Hawke to explain what happened to Cullen. Giving a sigh. She calls out to Hawke.

"Hawke. We need to go to the gallows to straighten this whole ordeal out. I also want to check up on that templar." She said pointing towards the door. "Let's go Hawke. Double time." Hawke rolled his eye at her but he didn't protest. The air between them was always uneasy. She watched Hawke walk past her. Just now noticing Hawke wearing his hair up. She guessed it was appropriate considering how hot it is outside. Maker knew she couldn't image wearing her hair down in the heat. She looked to her elven friend drying his hands off. "Look at me being rude. I came here to check on you. And I ended up spouting accusations at Hawke." She said rubbing her forehead. Fenris shrugged as he walked over to her. "That is quite alright. Though I am quite curious on which templar Hawke assaulted." He said following Aveline from the room. She gave a groan looking over to him. "I want to know as well. I never saw a templar by that description." She said honestly. The two warriors walk out to the foyer. Aveline pauses and looks around. Seeing Hawke leaning against the door frame to the front door. He had pulled a loose his hair. letting it fall down his back. "Let's head to the gallows to clear this mess up." Aveline said walking past him. Hearing the large man give a pained sigh. Casting a glance behind her to catch Hawke holding the right side of his face. The sharpen spikes of his head gear sticking out between his fingers. She slightly wondered what was wrong with him. But his discomfort was gone as quickly as it arrived.

The three warriors made their from Hightown down to the docks without incident. Stopping by the Hanged Man for a brief moment. Varric had decided to follow after them. Aveline wondered if having the dwarf was wise. Though part of her was surprised that Hawke even allowed her to walk in front. Though at one point she decided to walk behind them as they reached the docks.  
Varric walked up to Aveline as the boat left the docks. Aveline turned to her short friend. He offered a smile. "Feeling upset?" The dwarf asked. The guard captain gave a groan "I have a bad feeling about this..." She said trailing off. Varric sat down beside her on deck. Not wishing to be near the railing like her. "What is the feeling about?" He asked. Aveline looked over to Varric. "One. Hawke is being overly calm and cooperative about this... Two... I am worried about Bethany. Hawke might have a reason why he became violent. After all. He would do anything to protect his family..." She said. Varric gave a nod. "That does give off a bad feeling. Might not want to bring Hawke to confront them. He might get handsy..." Varric warned. Aveline stood off the railing. "Shit..." Realizing that Varric might be right. She looked over to Hawke. Who was clawing at his face under his eye patch. He had a pissed off expression and his teeth looked set into a snarl. "Shit." She repeated walking over to Hawke. She stumbled slightly when the boat docked. Hawke didn't take long to get off of the boat. Aveline inwardly cursed how fast he could move at times. She quickly followed him. Being trailed by both Fenris and Varric.

The moment Hawke made his way into the main courtyard of the Gallows. He was stopped by Knight Captain Cullen. Hawke gave off a mild sneer. Cullen shaking his head disapprovingly. Aveline ran up to stand in front of Hawke. Shoving her hand on the large warrior's chest. Hawke glared down at her hand. Aveline forced Hawke to step back. Both Fenris and Varric stood a short distance behind them. "Guard Captain. Hawke..." Callen said slowly. Regarding Hawke with a frown. "Knight Captain." Aveline said standing between Hawke and Cullen. "How about we go to my office you... Four..." He said looking at Varric and Fenris. Though his eyes remain on Varric who smiles and waves at him.

The five make their way to Cullen's office. Cullen sits down in his chair behind his desk and looks at them. Aveline walks over and stands in front of Cullen. She watches as Cullen takes out some paper work. "You do realize this is a serious offence. Serah Hawke." Cullen said looking at Hawke. Hawke merely snorts a laugh. "Like I give a fuck, Templar?" Hawke said leaning against the wall. "Let me handle this, Hawke." Aveline warned. The door suddenly opened and two templars walked in. The bald head man with ice like eyes. As well as Thrask.

-o-o-o-o-

A few hours later Aveline and her friends walk out of the office. "Maker Hawke. You are lucky that Thrask stood up for you. Despite how much animosity he has towards you. And Sir Alrik admitted he was he was wrong for reacting just as violently as you... Though. Considering you did far worse to him than he you. I have no choice but to put you in jail for two weeks. You better thank what ever deity you believe in. That they decided not to have you locked up for criminal offence... Leandra would have a cow if that were to happen. Though the next time you do that. I will have no choice but to lock you up for a two year sentence." Aveline said giving a warning. Hawke paid her no real mind as he walked off from them. "Fine. Take me to jail if you feel lucky." Hawke said darkly. Aveline glared at him. "Are you implying that you are above the law?" Aveline said with a frown walking to block his path. "I will take you in even if I have to fight you. You may be my friend. But I am not going to turn a blind eye to this, Hawke." She stressed. Fenris looked at both of them. Varric however inches his way back into the office and gently closes the door. "Sure. Spout your laws at me all you want. I am not going to leave mother alone in my sleazy uncle's home while I am not there! That fucking Deep Roads nearly killed Mother." Hawke growled.

"Then you should have thought about that before you decided to assault Sir Alrik!" Aveline shot back.

"I don't trust that fucking templar." He growled.

"You hardly trust anyone, Hawke." Aveline said shaking her head.

Hawke began to growl at her. Fenris made it his place to step in.

"Hawke. Aveline. Maybe the two of you should not be verbally assaulting each other in front of everyone. Further more. Hawke you need a more self-control. Aveline is doing her job. You have to abide by the laws." The elf said looking at Hawke.

"Fuck off Bastard Elf. You don't abide by them as much as you should either." Hawke shot back.

"True. But at least I don't assault those in law enforcement." Fenris said plainly.

"So that makes you than me huh?" Hawke asked with a sneer.

"Well... No... I just... Look let her do her job. If need be. I can look after your mother. It is the least I could do." Fenris said trying to keep the situation from getting out of hand.

Hawke gave an irritated huff before finally going with it. "Fine." He growled before storming off towards the boat.

"Thanks for that, Fenris. I am surprised how he listens to reason from you. You really are close to him." Aveline says turning to Fenris.

"Well. We have an understanding. Despite the colorful name he calls me. Though I called him a fair share of derogatory names as well." Fenris gave a sigh.

"Well. At least you understand each other. That's what matters." Aveline said walking with her friend to the boat. "Wait. Where did Varric go?"

Fenris looked around and shrugged. "We should deal with Hawke before Varric."

"Right. Before Hawke changes his mind." She said giving a groan.

-o-o-o-o-o-

It took a few hours signing the paper work and letting Leandra know what happened. Hawke was a bit pissed but remained quiet. Though Aveline made sure to put Hawke in his own cell. Alone. Maker knows Aveline didn't want to deal with Hawke hurting someone else. After she finishes. She turns and looks at her friend. Though Fenris seems a bit bothered by something. "Something on your mind Fenris?" She asked. He looked at her and sighed. Taking a drink from the bottle of wine he brought with him. "Is this about Hawke being in jail? He'll only be in there for two weeks." She said trying to smile. He shrugs as he stands up. "It isn't just about Hawke. He has been worrying more and more about his sister. Something isn't right. That templar Sir Alrik... Being around him is similar to how it felt being around..." Fenris trailed off suddenly. Aveline could only guess who Fenris was about to say. "I kind of wonder if Bethany is okay being in the Circle. Saying something like this is... Not exactly what I believe in concerning magic... Bethany was the only mage that I felt was a person... I guess it is because of how much I respect Hawke..." Fenris said. Considering what Fenris said. She began to worry more about Bethany. And in that moment Aveline wondered how Hawke must of felt. "I don't understand Hawke's way of thinking. And I am sure I never will. I am going to check up on Bethany for them. You need to head over and talk to Hawke's Mother." Aveline said getting up and heading to the door of her office. Fenris gave a nod and left right behind her.

* * *

 _A/N Sorry about last week. I needed a break and it was just so busy. Anyway._  
 _Hawke isn't always the good guy here. And I figured a little time in jail is in order.  
Sorry for the lack of violence. But I wonder if anyone can guess how the three years is going to end.  
Also I meant to spell fridge as frige. Because that was how it was originally spelt back then.  
_


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36 Mage Hating**

 _Anders and Merrill's turn._

* * *

Leaving the clinic a little after hours after hearing from Varric. Appearently Hawke got jailed a few days ago for assaulting a templar. Anders could hardly believe Varric. Though Varric said quite passionately "I shit you not, Blondie!" So off Anders went to the Viscount's Keep. He just had to know what caused Hawke to attack a templar. Anders couldn't help but laugh. Which ever templar it was. Must have had their ass handed down to them. He made his way trough the door of the Keep and straight to Aveline. He knocked on the door to her office. He casted a glance behind him and shifted a bit. He wasn't exactly friends with Aveline. She was more of Fenris's friend. He gave Aveline a bright smile when she opened the door. "What do you want, Anders?" She asked. Not entirely thrilled to see him. "Heard Hawke busted a templar's face in. Any chance I can visit him?" Anders said with a bit of giddiness. She rolled her eyes at him and gave a sigh. "Fine. Follow me, Anders." She said walking past him. He followed after her towards the holding cells. She gestured through the door. "Last one on the right. Try not to piss him or Fenris off. Scratch that. The moment Fenris sees you. He'll get pissed." She droned walking back to her office looking at some sort of report. Anders gave a frown. Of course Fenris would be there. He seemed overly driven to be near Hawke. Ander, himself, couldn't really stand being around Hawke. Something just wasn't right. Though that didn't stop him. Every chance he got. He preached about mages to Hawke. From a good ten feet away. The man was dangerous to stand by. Even if he was on the same side. Anders assumed that it was okay considering him and Hawke never really got in a fight. Anders gave a chilled shudder as he recalled what happened in the Deep Roads. Rubbing his shoulder as he walked further down the corridor. Looking around into the other cells. Noticing there was not realy any people in jail. Was Hawke the only one? And if so. Why so far down? Anders slowed his pace as he heard someone talking. It clearly wasn't Hawke. It had to be Fenris. After all he was there too, Aveline said. Anders stopped a shot way away before getting they could see him. He could hear Fenris loud and clear. But he couldn't even tell what Hawke was saying.

"Come now, Hawke. Surely you could do some form of community service. You would be able to get out faster." The elf said.

All Anders could hear from Hawke was a low murmur. He inched his way closer to hear the larger man.

"It has only be four days, Hawke. Are you truly dead set on doing the whole two weeks?" Fenris asked.

Anders was close enough to hear what Hawke said next.

"Might as well. You are taking care of Mother, right?" Hawke growled.

"Of course. Your Mother is fine. Though it is a bit strange having to sleep at your house..." Fenris trailed off.

"Let me guess. Mother is doting on you?" Hawke asked.

"Yes... Unnessecarily so." Fenris sighed.

The two of them soon remained silent. Anders figured he might as well walk in further. He felt a chill run through him as Hawke stared at him. The large man had bandages wrapping the right side of his face. His armor was also gone. Seemed the spiked armor was dangerous. He was in a dark plum shirt. It was torn down the middle showing off his chest. Looks like Varric has competition. He noticed Fenris held Hawke's eyepatch. Anders walks forward more after shaking off the feeling of Hawke's glare. "Mage." Both warriors say at once. Wonderful they were on the same wavelength. Anders walks over and remembers why he originally came. He smiled at Hawke and the larger man scowled. "So I heard you busted a templar's face in. Was it fun?" Anders asked. Hawke scoofed while Fenris rolled his eyes. "I enjoy busting anyone's face in." Hawke deadpanned. "Yeah. Well this was a templar! Do you know how fast I came over just to see if I can try to bail you out!" Anders said excitedly. Hawke rolled his eye and leaned forward on the against the bars. The cell contained nothing but a simply pillow and cover. "I don't need your charity." Hawke growled.

Fenris soon spoke after him. "How pray tell do you intend to get Hawke out when you are a refugee? Also you can barely do for yourself with out help."

Anders glared at Fenris. "You are just as poor as I am. Well, actually. You're worst off than me. So with that. Shut your mouth, mutt." Anders shot back at the elf. Fenris immediatey snapped back.

"Watch your mouth, Mage. I don't have a problem with going to jail for assaulting you." Fenris growled.

"You going to jail would be funny as hell! Please do!" Anders said taking a step towards Fenris. Fenris took a step as well. The step put Anders close enough to the jail cell. Hawke shot his arms out through the cell bars. Latching on to both Fenris and Anders. Pulling them into the bars harshly. Fenris's marking sprung to life as Anders became dizzy. "Why don't both of you shut the fuck up... Your bitching is pissing me off." Hawke growled dangerously. Anders heard Fenris give a pained hiss. Then a responce. "Alright... Just release me already!" Fenris growled as he stumbled from the bars. As soon as Hawke let him go. His markings flickered down. Anders trying to squirm free of Hawke's vice like grip. "Keep your damn mouth shut, Mage. Before I break you through these bars." Hawke warned. Anders could only nod. Hawke shoved him to the floor rather harshly. Anders stood up shakily and dusted himself off. "Forgot. We aren't even remotely friends..." Anders droned with a hurt expression. "Just thought maybe..." He stopped and walked further from the cell. "There was something we could agree on..." Anders said with a frown making its way onto his face. Hawke turned his head and didn't even look at him. Fenris remained silent. "Right. Never mind then. See you when you get out. Bastard..." With that said Anders stormed his way out of the jail area. Missing the pleased look on Fenris's face.

A short time after Anders left. Merrill wandered her way in. She walked straight past Fenris and right up to Hawke. She appeared to be holding a small basket. Hawke gave a growl as he stared at her. She tilted her head to the side. "Are you okay?" She asked. Hawke merely hummed lowly. "Is that a yes? Well, anyway. I came to bring you something!" She suddenly chirped. Her highly pitched voice alone made his cringe. Fenris stared at her cautiously. Merrill hopped up closer to the bars of the cell. "Aveline said I could give you this!" She smiled happily as she presented the basket. "I hope you enjoy meat loaf." She said as she looked around the cell bars. "Now where is the hatch to hand it to you?" She puzzled aloud. Hawke sighed and pointed to the center. "Oh! Right. Here you go!" She said happily handing the smal basket through the bars. Hawke took it and gave it a once over before setting the basket down on the floor. "I hope you get out soon, Hawke. It gets a bit boring with Isabela gone... And you in jail. I am sure who ever it was probably deserved it. After all. You wouldn't attack just anyone, right?" Merrill stared. Getting Fenris and Hawke to look at each other. Both of them just shrugged. Merrill sat down on a chair nearby and went on with her rambling. At one point getting real annoying to both the warrior men. To such a point. That Fenris said farewell to Hawke and the mage grl. Quickly leaving. Merrill scooted closer to the cell. Staring brightly at Hawke. "Why are you wearing bandages? Are you not allow to wear your armor? You look really different without all the spikes." She asked tilting her head. Hawke stared pointely at her. She sat perched on the chair cutely with her hands on her knees. Completely oblivious of the fact he truly didn't like her. She just kept smiling warmly at him. "Why are you here, Girl?" Hawke growled. "Oh. I heard you got really mad at a templar. You got in a fight and had to sit here for two weeks. Must be lonely. So I figured to come by and keep you company. Saw Fenris was here. I didn't mean to intrude. I didn't men to make him leave either. Should I go get him?" She asked. Hawke shook his head no. Thus the elvhen woman continued to go on talking. Making Hawke groan. He couldn't even leave from her. She continued her rambling and didn't even notice when Hawke started to bash his head into the wall. Merrill noticed this action and tilted her head. "Did the wall offend you?" She asked. Hawke stopped momentarily and simply hide his face beneath his somber hair. "I'de much rather bash my brains in than listen to another word from your mouth, Girl..." He growled clawing at the wall. She pouted a bit. "Then is it alright if I hum?" She said. Soon starting to hum. Hawke gave a groan. Such a shame she was mere inches outside his range. The elvhen girl closed her eyes and hummed sweetly. Hawke reaching out towards her through the bars. Trying his best to stretch his hand far enough to snatch her hair or scarf. Giving a low growl Hawke slid his way down to the floor and stared harshly at Merrill. Why couldn't that girl understand to leave? Hawke began gnawing on the steel bars. Hawke partly wished that his cell had more than just a simple cloth and pillow on the floor. Though Aveline knew him well. She knew such things could be utilized to assault someone. To his dismay. Merrill continued to keep him company.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Hawke was able to put up with the jail sentence. Ater that a few months passed by without much trouble regarding him and the law. Though sadly. Due to what had happened. He was temperarily banned from the Gallows for his out burst. Making him unable to see his sister.

-o-o-o-o-o-

It is near the late hour in Kirkwall. Anders sat silently in his clinic. Watching the last of patients walk out. It was very dark out. Down in DarkTown, true to its name, was nearly pitch black. Despite the light of the tourches down there. Anders went to his small room in the back. Sitting down on his bed and laying back. The events of the day playing through his head. Again he had tried to be helpful and useful to Hawke. Yet the man was hardly caring of the attempt. Sure Anders didn't exactly help in the matter with those thugs. But the thought is what counts, right? Appearently not with Hawke. Sighing as he laid down. Wondering why he was even trying to help Hawke in the first place. He did try his best, honestly. Even Aveline looked at him along with Hawke and that Elf. Anders groaned as he held his head. Remembering what happened.  
He had ended up swinging his staff right at one man running towards him. Daggers closing in on him. Anders swung hard to detter the assalint. Not aware that Hawke was right behind him. The blade of the staff cut right across Hawke's face. Effectively slicing open the warrior's mouth and nose. Nearly missing his only good eye. Aveline along with Fenris were in shock by what had happened. Blood poured from Hawke's face. Hawke, himself, was rightly stunned. So much so. That he turned towards Anders and glared. Holding onto one of the midday thugs. Forgetting about the other two. Who took that time to flee. Hawke bit down into the one he held. The blood reversing back under his skin as the wound appears on the hapless thug in his hand. Dropping the delinquent. The next thing Anders knew. Was Hawke pulling back his left hand and punching him straight across the face.  
Anders cringed from the memory and held the right side of his face. A faded scar from where Hawke busted Ander's mouth open. It was much worse considering the gauntlets Hawke wore. Anders recalled Fenris laughing at his perdicament. Aveline had questioned if it was really wise. Turned out. Before that. One of the thugs had nearly took Anders out. Hawke had went to defend him. Anders shuddered. The man had tried to protect him. Anders had forgot his surroundings for a second. Hitting Hawke. He wondered if Hawke had identified the mistake as a direct rebuff of his help. Either way. Hawke was pissed none the less. He should appologize to Hawke. Though. After the resulting action on Hawke's part. Anders didn't feel like he should admit for forgiveness. Anders turned slowly on his bed. His head pounding with rampant thoughts. Mostly concerning Hawke. For the most part anyway. He threw his hand up in the air and let a shower of healing magic flutter down around the ache in his body. Running the hand over his face. Giving another burst of magic. Giving a groan. He slowly fell asleep.

The next day's morning sun filtered through into Darktown. Anders sat up and winced. Giving a sigh. He forced himself out of bed. Making his way straight to the doors and leaving out the clinic. Making his way slowly towards Lowtown. He needed to talk to someone. He wished he could drink. Maker knows it would help him. In the back of his mind however. A warning blared. Drinking is bad! The voice shouted. Anders groaned as he trudged his way up the stairs. Taking quite a few minutes to reach the Hanged Man. He looked around cautiously before making his way to Varric's suite. Attempting to sneak his way in through the door. Before collapsing into a pile of pillows in Varric's bedroom on the floor. The dwarf rolled over in the nearly floored bed. "Figured you be in here early. Set you up a nice place." He said with a smile. Anders spoke into the pillows. His voice muffled. Varric chuckled a bit. "Can't hear you, Blondie. Take your face out of the pillows." He said sitting up. Anders shifted enough. "I feel horrible..." The blonde mage said slowly.

"Probably from that crushing blow Hawke dealt you. And yes. I know everything that goes on in this city." Varric said rolling onto his stomach and crossing his arms.

"Damn bastard hits hard. What is he? Left handed? Agh... What did I do to deserve this..." Anders whined.

"Well... You did slash Hawke's face open. Still suprised you hit him. He must of been too focused on the enemies."

"Don't rememind me... Hakwe dislocated my jaw and nearly busted out some of my teeth."

"That's because he was holding back I think." Hummed Varric.

"Gee. I should really thank him for not ripping my face off." Anders snarked.

"The whole thing happened because you BOTH forgot to look both ways."

"I am still stunned from the other day. I actually hit him. Like I drew blood from him! When our enemies can barely hit him at all!" Anders said astonished as realization dawned on him.

"That is because Hawke kept one of those idiots from stabbing a blade in your back."

"Like Hawke wouldn't do the same?"

"He wouldn't. Hawke is too straight forward for that. He would tell you. Then stab you in the face. After all. He did wait for you to turn towards him fully before he hit you."

"That... Means nothing..." Anders huffed. Stuffing his face back into the pillow. Varric merely shrugged as he patted Anders on the head.

"It'll be alright, Blondie."

-o-o-o-o-o-

It was midday as the sun disappeared behind a blanket of clouds. Hawke was making his way down town. Carrying a large bag. The result of nearly all of the money from the Deep Roads procceds arriving. In a few more weeks. More like a month. Hawke would finally be able to get an audience with the Viscount. Though he much rather barge right in there and demand the old Amell estate. Varric and Aveline said that Kirkwall doesn't run that way. He was truly starting to hate the way Kirkwall was being runned. It made him more eager to fix it. And by fixing it. Hawke means to throw out or kill every dumb fuck in the entire city state. Especially the pompous shits up in Hightown. The idea of charging those assholes more than the poor was appealing to Hawke. He could even pocket some of the money. He gave a small smile as he thought about it. Soon growling a frustrated sigh. In order for him to run this city. He is going to need much more than just money. Hawke slowly made his way into Lowtown. Trying to see what kinds of food he should get Mother. When his attention was brought away by someone calling him. He gave a groan and turned to look. Lady Elegant waved to him. He slowly made his way over to her. "What is it, Lady?" He said curtly. The blonde woman frowned for a moment. "Well. At least you called me Lady. Could of thrown in my name while you were at it. Anyway. Heard you made some big money in the Deep Roads. Well. Care to send some of it my way. I got something real special for you." She said with a smile gesturing to a box. "Depends on what is in the box. Lady Elegant..." Hawke droned with a low sigh. "Oh. Your mother would love it. Heard you trying to buy back an estate. Well. Maybe this can help her fit in." Lady said opening the box. Inside was a long lavender and pink noble dress like gown. Hawke stared silently at it. Tilting his head to the side before removing a gauntlet and running his fingers against it. "Silk satin fabric with coral and lilac coloring. With velvet trim..." He spoke lowly removing his hand and reequipping the gauntlet. Lady looked at him suprised. "I didn't know you had an eye for fashion. Pun not intended." She said looking up to him. "Right...I'll take it." He said. Shortly after paying. He went straight home.

Opening the door to the horrid little shack of Gamlen's. He stopped dead. His eye twitched slightly. Standing there talking to his mother was Merrill. His mother looked a bit happy talking to her. Though in all honesty Hawke couldn't stand Merrill. If she learned to shut up when told. Maybe he could tolerate her. But no. The elf girl was just too dense to understand when she was bothering someone. How can such a person be so foolishly innocent? It drove Hawke mad just thinking about it. "Oh, Jake. You're home. One of your little friends came by." Leandra said smiling at her son. Hawke resisted the urge to growl. "She is just so sweet. Isn't she a little doll?" Leandra said as Merrill wanders to look around. Leandra walked over to her son and went to reach for his eye patch. He pulled back reluctently as he eyed Merrill. "Are you shy around her?" Leandra asked her son. Hawke stared wide eyed at his mother. "I rather she not be here..." He said slowly. His mother smiled at him. "You didn't answer my question, Jake." Leandra insisted. Hawke shook his head. "Why would I be? I don't like her." He said lowly. Knowing his mother would scold him for saying such a thing allowed behind the girl's back. Leandra frowned. "I know you know you like her. She had spent so much time with you when you were away. And she even walked with you every time you went to Hightown. You shouldn't be afriad of your feelings dear." Leandra said gently to her son. Getting him to blush a slightly purple color. It as soon replaced with anger. "Mother... I. Don't. Like. Her. At. All." He stressed. Leandra gave a sigh. "Oh I wish you would find a nice girl to settle down with. It is not like your sister can do it now that she is in the circle." Leandra said witha slight pouting look in her eyes. Hawke sighed as he set the bag he was carrying on his back down. Moving his hair once again to the back. "When is the girl going to leave? Or did you invite her to dinner..." Hawke asked his mother. "I already invited her to dinner." Leandra said. Hawke rolled his eye and huffed. "Wonderful..." He walked past his mother and went straight to his room. Not even once allowing his mother to remove the head gear. He much rather Merrill wasn't there. Sitting down on his bed heavily. Running his hand through his hair as he taps against the metal eye patch. Feeling the subtle vibrations as he began to increase the tapping. Till he was thumping it with an odd rythme.

He pauses hearing the door open. "Your Mother said I could visit you. She also invited me to dinner." Merrill said sheepishly by the door. She fidgeted a little as she walked over to him. She stood a short distance away from Hawke. Merrill couldn't believe she was even with his face now that he was sitting down. It felt so weird to her. She ended up kneeling down just to get the normal feeling of being around him again. She inches her way closer till she is right in front of him. "Your mother said you always let her take that off of you." She said as she point to the twitsted metal that snaked through Hawke's hair. "Is it stuck? If so. How did it get stuck?" She questioned. Hawke clenthed his teeth together. He didn't want Merrill here. He didn't like listening to her. His hand twitched visably. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did you hit your head coming in?" Merrill prodded. Hawke's other hand dug into the bed as he stared at the mage girl. "Go." He murmured. She tilted her head. "Huh? Did You say samething?" She asked. "Go. Just leave..." He snarled at her lowly. She pouted a bit but stood up. "I know when I'm not wanted. But I really wish we can hang out more, Hawke. I miss seeing you." She said as her smile returned. She turned around and left his room. Talking to his mother before leaving.

A little while later. Leandra walks into Hawke's room. "Merrill had to leave. Said she wanted to talk to Varric." She said slowly. Looking at her son sadly. She really wanted him to be more open towards people. "I saw that lovely dress in the bag. Some girl must be real lucky." She said with a smile as she walked over to him. Moving his hand from his head and undoing the strap. Pulling the patch off slowly as she moved his hair back. "The dress... Is for you Mother... I wanted you to have something nice..." He said slowly. Leandra smiled at her son while she tended to him. "Thank you love. It means a lot that you care about me like that. I couldn't ask for a better son." She smiled. Though she saw the look in his eye. It made her fearful that he was going to have another episode. It was gone shortly. So there was nothing to worry about. Yet. Worry she did. She knew her son had difficulty with his feelings. Everytime it concerned him. He would get so displacive. It made her heart ache for him. Knowing there was nothing for her to do for her baby. All she could do was pray to the Maker.

* * *

 _A/N Sorry for the late post. Family matters came up and I had writers block warped into it as well.  
Decided to merge Anders and Merrill's Y.B. (Years Between) Mainly because those two are not mains. Yet..._

 _Anyway enjoy the chapter and in other news. I have decided to end this Y.B. at chapter forty.  
Next chapter will also focus on Fenris and Hawke. Hopefully They don't go to jail for it._


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37 Is This Alright?**

 _No genreal focus but mainly follows Fenris this chapter.  
Fenris questions a few things.  
_

* * *

When Fenris woke up this morning. He didn't expect to accompany both Hawke and Varric to the Viscount's Keep. He also didn't expect to be sitting in a small room with Seneschal Bran. Hawke remained silent and continued to chew on a piece of broken glass. Fenris assumed it was from one of the bottles Hawke drank from. Bran is fidgeting badly as he went through the papers. Varric just sat perched on the other chair with a soft smile. Bran never liked Hawke to begin with. Especially considering all the paper work that was involved when Hawke was arressted. Fenris sighed lowly as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. Not even entirely sure why he was even here. There was no real reason for him to even be there. After all. He had no idea or authorization concerning the money. So why was he even here finallizing the paperwork for Hawke's reclaimed estate? He let out a low breath and quietly made his way out of the room. Though Hawke turned his head. Fenris didn't even know that Hawke noticed. Fenris made his way across the Keep towards the barracks. After all. It would prabably take a few hours for Hawke and Varric to finish up. He could visit Aveline while he was at it. He made his way across the the large room to see how his ginger friend was doing.

Upon entering the barracks. He saw Aveline walking down a line of her men giving them updated versions of rosters. Fenris paused as he watched her. She seemed so focused that she missed the look one of her gaurds were giving her. Upon closer inspection. It was Donnic. He seemed to blush a bit as Aveline walked past him. Though he soon frowned slightly as he sighed looking at the roster. Seemed like something was there. Fenris waited patiently as the guards left. He walked towards Aveline. She turned slightly her nose still in a bunch of papers.

"How are guards doing Aveline?" Fenris asked.

Aveline looked up to him. "I didn't expect you here, Fenris. Something wrong?" She asked. Fenris scoffed lightly.

"Why is it people assume something is wrong when I visit them?" Fenris questioned.

Aveline laughed a bit. "Because Hawke is a dick and drags you into trouble. Now what did he do this time?"

"This isn't really about Hawke. Well. Other than him and Varric dragging me to sit down with them and Bran." Fenris explained.

"So he finaly has enough to buy the estate? Good. Leandra needs better than that shack with her brother." Aveline said giving a soft sigh.

"I suppose it would be much better for her. I seen how unruly her brother is." Fenris seemed a bit disgusted by the thought of Gamlen's behavor.

"That look on your face says he was much worse than just unruly." Aveline said walking to her office.

"Yes. That two weeks with Hawke's family was a bit unnerving. Though Hawke's mother insisted on treating me like her own son." He said following her into the office.

"Leandra is like that. She is willing to care for others who aren't even blood related." She said sitting down at her desk.

"I see... Do you mind if I remain here with you till Hawke and Varric finish with the papers?" Fenris asked.

"Sure thing, Fenris." She said as she began to go through some more papers.

Fenris looked around and sat down. He knew Aveline was busy with her work. So he remained quiet. During the silence he closed his eyes and simply let his mind wander. Remembering something Hawke said years ago. Something about breaking all ties with them when Hawke gets the estate back. Fenris shook his head and sighed. Aveline looked over to him but remained quiet. She seemed to wonder what was bothering Fenris. She puts down the paper work. "Is somthing wrong, Fenris?" She asked lightly. The silver haired elf looked up at her. "Hawke said something a long time ago. Wishing to break all ties with us once the estate was bought. Though... I highly doubt he will get what he wants. Then again he did say it himself." He said looking at the guard captain. Aveline smiled. "Hawke said something simialar back when we got to Kirkwall. Yet here I am still dogging after him. Trying in vain to keep him in line." She laughed. Fenris smiled at this. In that moment Varric popped into the office. "Found Broody with the captain." Varric said with a smile. Hawke walks in behind Varric and gives a slight yawn. "Sorry for the whole thing taking forever. Hawke didn't want to deal with any of the paper work. Other than sign his name." Varric stared knowingly at Hawke. The large human remained quiet with his eye closed. The sliver of glass still held between his teeth. Fenris was slightly curious as to why Hawke cut back on drinking so much. Another thing was Hawke started to be more friendly towards him and the others in the group. Fenris pushed his thoughts aside as he heard Aveline speak up. "So The papers been finalized. About time. Do you want to check the place out now?" Aveline asked. Hawke opened his eye and looked over to her. With a curt nod he said, "Why the fuck not. Need to clear the son of a bitch out anyway. After all. The previous owners dealt in unsavory rituals and enterprises..." With that said he turned abruptly and walked out the office door. "Why is it that Hawke is foul mouthed one moment and the next he is intellectual as hell?" Varric asked when he knew Hawke was out of ear shot. Aveline shrugged. "I am guessing his mind works differently than ours. After all. He does have moments where he is not himself." Aveline said getting up to walk over to Varric. Fenris remained silent as the two of them talked. Silently getting up and walking towards them. Fenris remained there looking between the two. He didn't wish to speak at the moment. He just had the need to follow after Hawke. He began to walk past them. Varric turned to look at him. "In a hurry to go somewhere, Broody?" Varric asked. Getting Aveline to look at him. "Sorry about that Fenris." Aveline apologized. "It is nothing to worry about. I didn't wish to interrupt." Fenris said as he walked out the office door. Aveline shook her head and followed after him. "We were probably suppose to follow Hawke. But we got caught up talking about him instead." She said glaring at Varric who smiled. She rolled her eyes with a smile.

Fenris made his way to the entrance of the Keep with both Aveline and Varric. Not seeing Hawke inside the building. The trio walked outside to find Hawke standing in the shade looking to the ground. Fenris was the first to walk up to him. Hawke spat out the glass shard and turned to look down at the elven warrior. The man's dark eye drifted from the elf before him to the other two companions. Without sayng a word. Hawke turned from them and headed towards the Mansion.

Upon entering the mansion. The four looked around. The place was in a bit of a mess due to the last owners abandoning it after hearing Hawke was buying it. Several things of the former owner's remained. Hawke gave a mild huff of annoyment. He briskly walked through the foyer of the manor and looked around. He tore things off the walls as he went. The other three following him wondered if he was okay or not. He gave a growl at the pale yellows and shades of pinkish blue decor. "Get rid of everything. This place is going to be redesigned." He gruffly said aloud. Fenris and Aveline shrugged and started to help. Varric wrote down everything that would be appropriate for Hawke. "So what colors would you like?" Varric asked. Hawke stopped and looked at the dwarf. "Various shades of red, purple, and black. What else." As if the answer was obvious. "Right. Dark stuff. Should I get a fountain that spits blood as well?" Varric humored as Hawke rolled his eye. "Smartass." Was all Hawke said.

Nearly three hours of sorting through a majority of the furniture. Hawke came up with the idea of selling it. Varric could smell business before Hawke could even say a word. The next few days consisted of selling the old junk that was there and buying new furniture and decor. Mostly dark crimson colored furniture along with dark plum colored drapes that contrast well with the red. Hints of a golden and black trim to mostly everying. Hawke reluctantly kept the second story library despite his inability to read. Might come in handy later. Though not entirely sure of what exactly. The next thing that was tended to was is mother's room. He obviously knew every little thing his mother liked and disliked. All the way down to what colors should go where to please his mother. Even some new dresses were bought for her. The others were a bit put off by this. But they came to learn that Hawke revered his mother above all else when concerned with family. The next thing tackled was his own room. Fenris remained in the main area each day he came by to help. It was mainly him, Varric, Aveline, and on some occasions. Merrill. Why that girl came by was quite curious. Though the way she looked at Hawke was concerning. It was near the final day of renovating the mansion to Hawke's taste. Merrill continued to trail after Hawke. Marveling at his strength when he moved things around on his own. She followed him too close for Fenris to be comfortable with it. Almost to the point where Fenris was down right jealous of the elvhen mage girl. So much so that at one point he simply got pissed when Merrill tripped and landed in Hawke's arms. Hawke didn't exactly try to catch her. He just did by accident. He glared down at Merrill. Fenris was beset by a weird urge to forcibly remove Merrill from Hawke's person. The large human seemed to growl a warning to Merrill. The young mage nodded quickly and hurried away. Fenris watched as Hawke brushed his arm off and looked after Merrill. During the whole renovation. Not once did Anders stop by. Fenris was glad of that. He had enough headaches with Merrill running about. He was even stressed out by the young mage. Simply because of how she acted around Hawke. It had got to a point where Aveline noticed him glaring at Merrill. The group was nearly done. They were simply putting up portraits now.

Aveline had caugth Fenris glaring dangerously at little Merrill. Aveline had noted that he did this every time Merrill was close to Hawke. She made her way over to Fenris as he set up one of the Amell shields to the wall. "You alright, Fenris?" She asked suddenly. Resulting in Fenris flinching for a moment. He turned towards her. "I am fine, Aveline." He said looking back to the crest. "You seem upset everytime Merrill gets near Hawke..." She said trailing off. Her warrior brethren looked down to the ground away from her. "I just don't trust her..." The elf said taking a step back from the crest. Aveline remained quiet till she noticed Hawke leave out the house completely. Assumingly going to Lowtown to fetch his mother and move her stuff in. Aveline turned to Fenris. "Look. I know you and Hawke are good friends. Your friendship is weird as shit. But still you two are very close." She said. Getting Fenris to turn from her more. "What are you getting at Aveline?" He said lowly. Aveline sighed.

"Fenris. Correct me if I am wrong. But..." She paused trying to think on what to actually say to the branded warrior. "You seem to care a lot about Hawke. Despite everything he is. Even I am not that close to him. And I have been knowing him for four years. I never seen anyone so devoted to Hawke other than his sister." She said. Fenris sighed.

"I... Respect him is all." He said crossing his arms and looking over the banister down to the first floor.

"Everything you do is not simply out of respect, Fenris..."

"It is... I still owe him..." He said holding his arms against his chest tighter.

"You repaid that. There is no reason for you to help him anymore. You are not bond by some debt anymore, Fenris." Aveline said walking up to him.

"I... I know... But I don't wish to leave..." He said lowly. Aveline gave him a pointed look.

"Is Hawke the reason you stopped being a mercenary?" She asked with concern.

"Partly... Yes. But it wasn't just him. I just... Got tired of it. Is all." He lied near the end.

"You know. If you ever need anything. You can talk to me." She said.

Fenris remained silent. The feeling of being utterly uncomfortable settling over him. He didn't wish to talk about how he felt to Aveline about Hawke. He still wasn't sure it was even right. To have such strange feelings for another man. He cringed as he suddenly recalled how Danarius treated him. The feeling of being bond to another man's will. Unable to voice his disapproval. Being forced to do something he wished nothing of. The feeling of simply being used for someone else's pleasure. He would always recall those memories. Every time he wanted to be near Hawke. Those memories would pop back up. Simply because of how Hawke encroached onto him in such a depraved manner. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Jolting slightly his markings flashed briefly before remebering it was just Aveline. "Fenris..." Her voice was lined with concern for him. "Are you okay? You started shivering... Are you suddenly ill?" She questioned leaning over his shoulder slightly. Fenris looked up to the side at her. He much rather she stop touching him. But he knew she ment no harm. He looked up at her and slowly said, "I am just recalling something rather... distressing. But... I will be fine. Thank you for your concern. Aveline." He said slowly as he looked at her hand. She nodded and slowly took her hand from his shoulder. "Remember. You can talk to me, Fenris." She said waiting for him to respond. "I... Thank you... I will." He said slowly before watching her nod and walk away. He sighed as he watched her walk down the stairs. He soon followed suit and left to his mansion a few blocks away.

Back at his own mansion. Fenris walks upstairs to his room. Closing the door behind him as he let out a sigh. Aveline's questioning bothered him. Though. She only questioned him when she saw his displeasure of Merrill being near Hawke. Fenris, himself, couldn't explain on why he was jealous. He slowly slid down the door to the floor and sighed. Wondering what was wrong with him. He couldn't believe that Aveline woud even recall him quiting the mercanary job. As he continues to question his feelings for the larger male. He begins to truly wonder what Hawke's perferance was. He never seen the man go after women or men. The man did jest a lot of sexaul themes. Hawke seemed the kind of person who would just say shit to get a reaction from someone. Part of Fenris recalled what had happened in the Deep Roads. The memory made him close his legs. Bringing his knees to his chest. He recalled Hawke pressed up against him. Hawke running his hand down heavily across his... Fenris gave a light whimpering moan at the recollection. His face turning a light shade of red. He groaned a bit more in embarrasement as he recalled that he enjoyed it. These memories ended up bringing back with it all the strange messed up dreams he been having ever since then about him and Hawke. Each dream he been having for the past three years was of Hawke. No one else. Him and Hawke were always somewhere dark. The images from these dreams flashed into his mind. Being pinned by the larger man by the throat. Hawke smiling darkly as he ran his hands over Fenris's body. The other dream where Fenris was some how stuck in a cave due to a sudden tunnel collapse. Hawke saves him of course. But it causes him and Hawke to be alone in a dark cavern. Hawke positioned over him with his face close to his. Fenris shuddered. Another dream where he was in Hawke's suite. Having gotten into a fight with him and the two ended up in a physical altercation. Yet again Fenris was pinned by Hawke. In each and every dream somehow Hawke was always the one pinning him. Then taking advantage of it. Though each dream was missing one thing. The horrid bite into his flesh from Hawke's teeth. Fenris shuddered as he held the side of his neck. Deep down. A part of Fenris wished these dreams were real. Though each and every time he had a dream like this. He would awaken right before Hawke could even do more than touch him. And each and every time Fenris became upset due to not knowing what happens next. Fenris suddenly growled as he stood up shakily. Feeling the heat in his face spread more. He sat down in his chair and slumped over the table.

A few hours later. Fenris awakens from a loud knock at his room door. He sits up from the table and rubs his eyes. He looks to one of the holes in the ceiling to see what time of day it was. It was near dusk. He got up and wandered to his door. Opening it to see Hawke standing there. A sick smile on his face. Fenris shivered and stepped back. "What do you want Hawke?" He asked as he looked up to the larger man. "Nothing much, Fenris. Just wanting to know if you wish to accompany me. Is all." Hawke said lowly his smile never fading. His smile alone was unnerving to Fenris. "That depends... Where is it you are going?" Fenris asked cautiously. Slightly unsure of whether he should go with Hawke or not. "Come now, Fenris. It is no where distasteful." Hawke said his smile seemed to turn a bit gentle. Almost like a soft grin. That was when Fenris noticed how Hawke looked at him then. For just a split second. He caught Hawke look him over. Making Fenris flush slightly. What was this man's deal? "W-where are we going?" He asked with slight suspicion. "How about I show you instead, Fenris." With that Hawke turned from Fenris and walked away from the room. "Though whether you wish to follow me or not is up to you. After all..." He paused his speech and went quiet. Before finishing the sentence. "You do have a choice in this." He said before descending the stairs quickly. Fenris stood awkwardly in his room before taking a deep breathe. Hawke was right. It was his choice to decide. And it didn't take him long to make up his mind either. He retreived his sword and quickly followed after Hawke.

It only took about half an hour to to get to where Hawke was talking about. "This is the place." Hawke said lowly. Fenris was slightly puzzled. "What is this place?" Fenris questioned. Something didn't sit right with him in that moment. A sort of premonition struck him then. Something bad was going to happen. Something truly horrendous. Fenris swallowed as he took a step back. He wasn't sure why he suddenly had the urge to run. But Hawke knows what he is doing. Right? If Hawke can stare down whatever they are about to meet. Then so could he. Fenris took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly. Hawke seemed to be waiting for him. "What is going to happen when we go in?" Fenris asked looking at the boarded up building. "Simple. You know that Hanged Man suite I have. I did a little digging on the guy who gave it to me." Hawke said ever so slowly. Fenris looked at him. "What about it?" Fenris asked stepping to Hawke's side.

"Turns out that fucker lied to me. If you recall. I was in the Red Iron for a year." He droned.

"I do remember hearing about that yes. But what does it have to do with this place?" Fenris was puzzled as to what was going on.

"Question. Do you recall that girl we saved?" Hawke asked walking towards the back of the house. His voice dropping low.

"Natalie?" He seemed to question following Hawke.

"Yes. Turns out that Merran neglected to tell me that this employer targeted children. I never liked working for this man. But he offered a bit more money than the others. The whole reason he gave me the suite. Was because I had got too close to finding something. He didn't wish to be found." Hawke explained.

Fenris went silent as he stopped beside Hawke near the back door.

"You see. Fenris. I just hate the idea of people harming children." Hawke began growling. "Sick filthy predators that target the innocent. And people think I'm a monster. Those who force children to sexual acts disgust me." Hawke began to twitch lightly.

In the back of his mind. Fenris felt that what was about to happen was against the law. Despite the cause that Hawke has in mind. If Aveline was here. She would say that they need to be arrested and prosecuted. But the voice of reason and logic was not here. Fenris forced himself to speak. "Shouldn't we alert Aveline? If what you are saying is true?" He backed up when Hawke turned to him.

"Aveline is an excellent guard captain. But law enforcements are a poor judge of character. You can not rely on them when you truly need them." Hawke said a grim frown shown upon his face.

Fenris backed up more. Hawke continued. "I went to you. Because you understand the feeling. You would understand the need to purge such depraved and sick minded people from this world." Hawke lowly growled. Fenris paled a bit. Some how the way Hawke talked made him wish to follow him. Though at the same time. Fenris couldn't help but think Hawke was being a hypocrite.

"I will give you a choice, Elf. Follow me. Or leave. For you must know by now what will befall them. Once I am inside." Hawke said before ducking down as voices where heard in the house. Hawke gave a wicked smile. Fenris ducked down and remianed silent. What was he going to do? He knew what was right and what was wrong. He knew he could easily leave. He wanted to leave. But at the same time he wanted to follow Hawke. He knows that Hawke can be cruel and unforgiving towards others. But that doesn't make him any better than the ones he persues. Fenris looked to Hawke to see him making his way to the door. Slowly standing up. If there was a choice Fenris had to choose in that moment. He knew it was to follow Hawke. Damn the consequences. Not entirely aware of his habitial nature of following orders taking action as he stood up and followed Hawke. Hawke seemed to smile. Hawke bringing his foot up and breaking open the door.

-o-o-o-o-

It did not take long to clear the place out. Fenris wondered how Hawke even knew there was a gathering here. Fenris leaned against a wall as he wiped his face off. Looking over to Hawke who crouched before several small children. He seemed to be whispering to them. They were luck they did not witness what Hawke did to the men that were here. The children ranged from five to nine. Some were elven and some were human. Some looked to be from noble families as well judging by the clothing. Hawke stood up and the weirdest sight Fenris had seen happened. The child ran up to hug his legs. It seems his appearance doesn't scare children. Then again that giant of a man saved them. Some clinged to his cape. Hawke had tried to avoid being bathed in blood for the children's sake. Some of them ran up to Fenris. "Thank you mister!" One girl said. Then another spoke up. "Can we go home?" The child whimpered. "We will take you to a compainion of mine. She will be able to find your parents." Hawke said gently. Getting Fenris to truly wonder where this man's mental state stood. He breaks the law one moment then adheres to it the next. But at the same time. He did things in a strange and confusing way that some how betters others while being frowned up by the execution of said way it was done.

Upon entering Lowton. Hawke had intercepted a guard. Who turned out to be Donnic on a night patrol. With his help after a short and curt explaination. They made their way to the Keep and met with Aveline. Aveline imediatly jumped Hawke with questions. Fenris then found out that there was several reports that Children were missing. But how did Hawke know what the reports said if he couldn't read? Did he have some one read them to him? Or did he have an informant? Either way. Aveline partly scolded and thanked Hawke. Making Fenris question how Hawke knew of such things and how come Hawke didn't care about being reprimanded by Aveline. Hearing the ginger woman huff. "You should of brought me and some of my guardsmen!" Hawke rolled his eye before responding. "There woud have been too much noise. Stealth missions work just as well as full frontal assaults." Hawke said with a grin. "What if you would have got hurt!" Aveline shot back. "I had Fenris with me." Hawke said Aveline glared at Fenris but soon sighed. "Whatever." Aveline remained quiet as Hawke walked out of the office. Fenris was about to follow. But Aveline stopped him. "Fenris. Did you know anything about the missing children reports? I know for a fact. That Hawke can't read. He went against what I told him. I told him to let my gaurds handle this." Aveline began. Fenris looked at her. "I am not sure how he knew. I didn't even know anything about this. Is Hawke alway doing things like this?" He asked. Aveline sighed and nodded. "He been doing that for a long time. He seems determined to **purge** this city. As he says it." She said with a sigh. Fenris nodded and let out a sigh. "He does have an ambition to run this city..." Fenris admitted. Recalling something he talked to Hawke about a long time ago. "I know. That is the reason I have guards watch him. He has managed to slip from them before and do things. Things that the city guard is charged to do. You can't let Hawke drag you into another thing like this. Hawke is doing good for the city but what if he is wrong for once. I would have to clean up the mess." Aveline stated. Fenris didn't want to tell her that he willingly followed Hawke. He simply nodded and left. Heading back to the mansion.

Though the words she said made him think. What if Hawke does mess up. What then?

* * *

 _A/N Hope you enjoy this chapter. Stay tuned for more._


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38 Primal Presentiment**

 _A/N_ _Hawke has worries too. As always dreams in Italics._

* * *

It has been almost a week since the Amell Estate was bought. Due to Hawke being the owner of the ancestral home. It has now been changed to the Hawke Estate. Some of the neighbors of the home were all taken aback by the giant man who moved in with his mother. Whispers started to go about Hightown. Having heard Hawke's name multiple times. Every noble in the district frowned heavily on the idea of Hawke living there. But they were also aware how wealthy he was and the dark rumors surrounding him. Some wished to appease him. Thus the reason for a night time home warming party. Leandra was ecstatic about being back among some of her old friends. Gossiping about this and that. Hawke growled darkly. He remained in his new room with the door locked. The voices downstairs were starting to make his head spin. His body gave an involuntary twitch as he covered his ears. Not wishing to hear the strangers talking. Hawke paced in his room. Walking to and fro in front of the roaring fireplace. It was Mother's idea to have this party. She wished to get back in the swing of chatting with nobles. Hawke was not like his mother. He couldn't stand the other nobles with their bright clothing. Their false smiles. Forced laughs of amusement. Their oh so interestingly boring life. Most of the nobility in Kirkwall talk big shit but can never carry out such brazen claims. It would simply be scandalous for them to dirty their finely manicured hands. But Hawke knew. He knew how nobles parade about. Throwing money in any general direction that would make them look better. Look pure.

A knock at the door jolted him from his thoughts. His mother's voice rang out. "Jake. Baby. Please come out and introduce yourself. Everyone wants to meet you. And there are some lovely ladies wishing to know you too." She called from behind the closed door. Hawke cringed. He never did tell his mother. In fear that it would break her heart. She has always wished for him to marry a nice pretty girl and keep the Amell line going. Or should it be considered the Hawke lineage now? Considering he was no Amell. He looked down upon his person. His gauntlets were discarded on the table along with his armor. He stood in a deep dark violet color with scarlet accents. The finely crafted silk clothes were affixed with golden metal embellishments on the shoulders and cuffs. As well as a gold trim belt. He felt... Strange to show himself off like some sort of packaged goods being delivered. He hated it. This was not him. Even if his mother did take in consideration of his favorite colors. Thus matching the décor of the mansion. He was even asked to abandon his twisted crown. Having it replaced with a common eye patch. He couldn't even bring himself to wear it. He walked over to the table and picked up his head gear. He rather wear the spiked crown than some flimsy fabric patch that served no function. He affixed it to his face letting the rune slip back into place on the inside. He gave a sigh at the cold sensation from it. He walked over to the door. Reaching for the door with a hesitant hand. His sharp nails scratching the door handle. He had the urge to pull his hair free of the ponytail it was in. Mother had said nobles with long hair keep them tied back or braided neatly behind them. It was considered classy. The hair that fell down the sides of his face were also pulled into ties. He hated it. But his mother wished for him to look decent. Hence the reason he looked overly pompous. "Must I look like this, Mother?" He asked through the door. To which he mother attempted to open the door. "Unlock the door, Sweetie." Hawke sighed and opened it for her. Leandra walked in and looked up to him. "You are not going to wear the adorable eye patch I go for you?" She asked seeing the metal patch jut out from his long dark hair. "I do not wish to wear it, Mother. Can I at least undo the ties to the front of my hair?" He questioned looking down at her. She gave a sigh. "Alright Dear. Just the sides." She said reaching up to undo them. Letting his long bangs and sideburns drape down the front of his shoulders. The majority of his hair tied together down his back. "Thank You. Mother..." He said lowly. She nodded.

"Now I want you to try and be nice. If you can't say anything nice. Then-" She started.

"-don't say anything at all." Hawke droned after her.

"Good. Now. There are some girls a little younger than you out there. I hope you would find one of them to your liking. After all, Dear. I want you to be happy with someone." She said with a soft smile.

Hawke controlled the disgusted expression on his face. He didn't enjoy the idea of being bonded to some strange woman. Or any female life partner at all for that matter. In fact he much rather have a fellow warrior be present at his side. Then again the Branded Bastard would hate being here just as much as Hawke himself.

"I bet your sister would love to see you settle down with a nice girl. Just as much as I would." Leandra said with a bright smile.

Hawke's face nearly dropped as his face flushed a light purple as well as a serious dead expression. Which made the awkward embarrassment he felt fly right out the window. Bethany was all to keen on know Hawke was into men. And strictly men alone. Though again. Hawke did not want to break his mother's heart. After all. Hawke could always knock a girl up and after the woman has the child. Have the woman conveniently abandon both him and said child. But then again. He respected women too much for such a depravity. Also what woman in their right fucking mind would tolerate him. Well. Other than Aveline, Isabela, and that mage girl Merrill. Speaking of Merrill. That girl has been following him more and more as of late. He shook his head as his mother began speaking again.

"So. Remember. Be nice and try to talk to some people. And find which one of the noble little ladies out there catch your eye." Leandra smiled. As she realized the pun and her son glared at her. She giggled. "Sorry for the pun, Baby."

Hawke groaned as he walked past her. She walked out quickly after him. Stepping past him as he stops. She looks at him and notices that he has his hand on the right side of his face. She is about to ask him what is wrong when he removes it and walks forward. The group of people suddenly hush as they look up to him from the first floor. He glares down at them from the banister. The men who see him back up. Observing just how tall he was. He looked even larger from the second floor. The women remained quiet as they whispered among each other. Hawke could hear them. Their low whispers of what he was. They were scared of him. He didn't want to be here listening to these people. He closed his eye as it had started to stain red. He mustn't get angry unless someone provokes him. After all this is for mother. He slowly walks down the stairs. A few people looking at his eye patch. Some gasping slightly at his sharp nails. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and held his eye closed. He heard his mother stop beside him. "And this is my Son." She introduced. She was about to say his name when he spoke up. "My name. As you must know by now from rumors. Is Hawke. That is what you people are to call me." He said as he opened his eye. The whispering dying down. His voice stretched through the silent crowd. A few moments are spent in silence as they look at him. They kept their distance from him. Slowly. They started to mingle again. Hawke could feel the crowd looking at him every so often. As if checking to see if he would do something. He did his best to avoid the many people. He remained silent throughout the entire event. He did take note of the women getting close to him before moving away. Seems the women were dared to go up to him. He saw his mother conversing with the women. He walked over to his mother. "Mother. I must ask you refrain from speaking of me to these. Ladies..." He said lowly. Leandra frowned. "I wish you could let me talk about you. Dear." She said looking back up to him. "Have I introduced you to-" She started to say only to be cut of by her son. "Not my type, Mother. I am leaving. You can finish having the party but I am leaving..." He said. Leandra frowned but nodded. "Alright Darling. Be safe." She said. Hawke left from her side and went to his room. Changing out of the fancy clothing and putting something he was much more comfortable in on. He walked back out a short time later and everyone moved out of his way. He smiled slightly as he could see the fear in some of their eyes. He walked out of his house. Taking a quick stroll would help ease his mind. There was not much going on.

He sighed walking around Hightown. Running into a few guards who knew him. Allowing him to walk freely. His vision started to clear as he took a small drink of water. He looked down at the bottle. He found it strange how he had been slacking of on the drink that he once held so dear. The pain he felt is less severe than it was when he came here. He tries hard to figure out why this has been. He soon thought of Fenris. Not only the branded elf but of Aveline and Varric as well. He growls lightly as he pours the rest of the water out. What was wrong with him? He wondered if it was because of his companions. Maybe his mother was right. Maybe having friends wasn't so bad. Maybe. He knew the feelings he been having for those people have increased. He can't stand the idea of them being hurt. Or worse. He quickly made his way back to the house. Slightly wondering if he should go to the Hanged Man where he felt a bit more comfortable. Shrugging as he walked up to the door.

After walking in. He looked around and sighed as there was no strangers in his home anymore. He walked into the main room from the foyer. When he was suddenly greeted with a voice he heard before. "Ah good even, Hawke! Or should I call Messere from now on?" Hawke turned around and looked down to the dwarf standing before him. "The fuck are you?" Hawke growled taking a step. "Ah! Bodahn Fredrick, Sir! Remember? From the Deep Roads? You saved my son. I heard what had happened to you. I said years ago that I would pay you back!" Bodahn said. Backing up. Hawke glared at him. "Alright then. What do you have for me?" Hawke questioned while stepping closer. "I plan on being your servant. Sandel is here as well. He can enchant your weapons. Please. This was the best I can think of." The dwarven man said. Hawke gave a sigh as he walked past him. "Fine. But remain out of my way." Hawke warned. He walked his way to his mother's room. Knocking on the door lightly. "Come in, Darling." His mother called out to him. He walked into the room. "How was your party, Mother?" He asked. He watched as his mother turned to him. "I had a wonderful time. And two dwarves came by. They are going to be working for us from now on. Bodahn said he owed you. It seems like a dream being here again. Thank you, Jake." She said with a smile. Before looking at him.

"So question. Jake. Which of the girls you met did you like?" His mother asked.

"None of them were to my tastes mother." Hawke answered.

"I wish you would find someone you would enjoy being around." She said with a slight frown.

"I know you wish for better things for me and of me. But finding a woman is not the answer, Mother."

"Oh. Alright. But you have to bring someone you like to me sooner or later."

"I know. But you would just be disappointed in me."

"I could never be disappointed in you." She said with some shock in her voice.

"I have disappointed you many times. You just do not wish to admit it." He said getting up and leaving the room. His mother remained quiet as she let out a sigh.

Hawke made his way to his room. And closing the door heavily behind him. He let out a sigh as he walked over to his bed. Pulling his hair loose and letting it fall down in an unruly mess. He was overly tired from having to just be near people he didn't even care to know. It was nothing but people constantly talking. He hated it. He didn't even feel like undressing for bed. He got in bed and stared up to the canopy over the bed. Slowly he closed his eye and went to sleep. Slightly disturbed by thoughts know only to him. The feeling of finally being able to relax. Finding such things strange as he wondered if it was because of those who followed him. It had to be. He just didn't understand why though. Slowly he drifted off to sleep. He turned slightly back and forth till he rested on his back.

 _The air was cold and heavy. The light of the fadescape was lit in a strange hue of orange and red. Hawke opened his eye. Looking at the landscape. He can hear fire burning and razing nearby. Feeling the heat of the valley behind him. Hearing the voices of the two creatures hiding from him. Their voices call out to him. "Coward. Traitor." They called out to him. A long slender green figure rose from his shadow. Looking him in the face. "You won't be free of us. We. Are a part of you." She said swirling around him. "You think you have friends now? They will betray you like you did us." A red figure said walking up behind him. The chill from the female and the heat from the male surrounded him. Hawke held his eye closed. "You are but distant memories. You do not truly exist. But you have a point." Hawke says pushing past them. "Many things do not go my way. Though I will not accept no less than perfection. I am well aware of my follower's betrayal. Part of me feels like I can change that. Then I won't have to tear them apart. If they refuse to see it my way. I. Will. Kill. Them." He said as a smile crept across his face. "But first... I have something I need to do first." He said as he turned to the demonic illusions of his two old friends. "I will not let you taint my dreams any longer. Besides. You two are not them. In order to get what I want. I have to end what I use to be. A burden held upon my very body from the likes of you demons." He said reaching up to his eye. Clawing up under his eye patch. Pulling free a small trinket. "This is my dream. So from now on. I will not cower in a cage to be toyed with." He said. Getting the two creatures to approach him. "You think you can get rid of us that easily! You think that they can replace what we were?!" They both screeched. "I have faith. Even if I am weak for trusting in another living being like them. There are those who proved their loyalty." He said breaking the small trinket in his grasp. "I don't trust those two mages nor that Pirate. But I will have their respect. And after finding some one almost like me. Then I am willing to try. For Mother's sake if not my own." He said walking towards them. Pulling a large axe from the air. "You are a fool if you think you can move on! You will remember what tragedies you brought. We will make sure of that!" They both yelled at him in unison. "Then I will deal with your actions accordingly." He said before swinging at them. The axe slicing through the false friends. Leaving nothing but smoke and dust._

Hawke turns onto his side and sighs with a small smile. Opening his eye as he sits up feeling better than when he went to bed. He decides to change out of his armor and return to sleep. Setting his metal patch on the table beside him. Falling asleep once again but this time into a deeper sleep. Than before.

 _This time he opens his eye to the interior of an old mansion. It feels familiar. He walks through it. Ascending the stairs till he reaches the top. He knows this place. Giving a sigh he walks in to see Fenris. This wasn't the real Fenris. Hawke knew he was in a dream. He walked over to the Fenris sitting in front of the fire. The elf was sharpening his sword. "Hawke. What brings you here?" It asks. Without his own will. Hawke seats himself down beside the elf. "I know you aren't real. Why am I dreaming of you?" Hawke said more to himself than the dream version of his warrior brethren. The elf shrugged. "Maybe you wish to speak with me of something?" He said. Hawke looked down at the elf. Just like the real one. Always intellectual. Hawke wonders if he is free to do what ever he so pleases with this version. Without really giving much though he turns towards the dream version of the elf he had found himself attracted to. "Hawke..." The elf says pausing with the whetstone. "I not only wish to talk to you." He says getting up and standing before the smaller man. Grabbing the weapon from the elf and discarding it to the side. Before placing his hands on either side of the elf seated before him. The fade Fenris flinches back from him and stares openly. A curious expression on his face. Nothing like the real one in the slightest. He growls and slashes at the dream image of the elf with his left hand. The elf blocks the hit and pushes itself backwards off the bench to create distance. That thing doesn't act like the real one. It is just mindless. A fake representation of the real one he desires. "What is wrong with you?" It asks. "Why did you try to attack me..." It sounded somewhat alarmed. "Because you aren't him!" Hawke growled. The look-a-like shot back with, "I am him!" Hawke closed his eye and held the right side of his head. "No... You're not!" Hawke growled. Somewhere in the distance though. In a far part of the Fade. "Brother... I'm sorry... I hope you hear this... I love you..." Hawke whirled around as the mansion faded. "Bethany?" He whispered. Looking around the Gallows where he now found himself. The Fade Fenris was gone. And there was no site of Hawke's sister. Two voices called out as one. "What tragedy will befall your beloved sister? You will have to find out." The voices said as they faded. Getting Hawke to yell out, "BETHANY!"_

"BETHANY!" Hawke called out sitting up from the bed. He jolted out of the bed quickly. He took a deep breath nearly choking as he did. "Bethany... I... Heard you..." He said standing up. He left out of his room quickly. His face grim. He didn't know where to go at the moment. He just felt he had to go somewhere. In his mindless worrying. He wandered straight to the closest companion's house. Which was Fenris's Mansion. He busted through the front door and stormed his way into the main room on the first floor. Throwing a heavy left hand at one of the old statues. Making it fall over. The noise from it resounded in the mansion. He took a deep breath as his right hand dug under the bandages. His fingers sinking in the hollow area. The bottom most fingers dipping into his mouth. His left twitching slightly. Lowly whispering to himself. "I don't now what to do... What is wrong with me. I never had this problem." He lowly growled. He was taken from his thoughts as Fenris called out to him. "Hawke... What are doing here this late?" He questioned as he walked down from the second floor. Hawke looked at him in silence. To be honest. He didn't have a clue why he came here. He didn't think of coming here. Just taking note of where he was. "Why did I come here?" He questioned aloud. Pulling his hand away. The bandages being pulled off in the process. Blood starting to drip down. "Hawke... Are you alright?" Fenris asked. Quickly walking up to Hawke. Wondering what the larger man was doing here. Hawke pulled his left hand back. Fenris's eyes widened as he ducked quickly to evade the blow from Hawke's left hand. "Vehedis Hawke! What is wrong?!" Fenris shouted putting distance between himself and the larger man. "I... Don't know..." Hawke admitted. "My Sister... I heard her... Something is not right... Something is very wrong..." Hawke slowly said.

"Then why are you taking it out on me?!" Fenris growled.

"What else am I suppose to do!" Hawke shot back.

"Think before you act!" Fenris seemed to give Hawke a curious glare.

"..." Hawke remained silent.

"Listen. Hawke. Whatever it is that is bothering you." Fenris paused. Seemed he was wondering if it was wise to have Hawke vent to him.

"I shouldn't let it bother me..." Hawke whispered to himself.

"I am sure you can overcome it. Or talk to me. Or Aveline about it..." Fenris said as he looked at Hawke. "Hawke do you need fresh bandages? After all. You didn't come with you're eye patch..."

"... I suppose." Hawke said as he looked at Fenris.

The elf before him nodded and walked back up the stairs. Following after the elf. Hawke looked himself over. He came here without his armor. Glancing up to Fenris. He noticed the elf wasn't wearing his armor either. It was a light tunic. The tunic appeared to look thin. Hawke's mind wandered slightly of what the elven male would look like without the clothing on. He was drawn from his musing by the elf himself. "Do you require any help?" The elf asked. "I am fine." Hawke answered. Being handed a roll. Fenris turned from Hawke. Hawke felt a bit of appreciation for the elf choosing not to try to see what was under his hair. Hawke made a mental note to himself about Fenris. ' _Breaking him is not an option.'_

* * *

 _A/N That is the end of this chapter. Want to give a guess on what is going to happen.  
Because this YB Arc is about to end. Then we will be onto Act 2!  
_


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39 Promise Kept**  
 _First part in Fenris's then switches to Aveline's point of view_

* * *

Fenris groaned as he watched Hawke slam his head into the wall over and over. Fenris cringed when he saw blood splatter upon the wall. Fenris shook his head as he walked over to the larger man. "Hawke. Maybe you should refrain from doing that. Before you hurt yourself. Or in this case. The wall..." He said looking at a crack in the brickwork. He saw Hawke lower his head. "If you wish. You may stay here." Fenris said taking a deep breath. In trying to hide a yawn. Hawke walked past Fenris and made his way up the stairs. Fenris made his way up the stairs after the human. As he walked into the room. He noticed Hawke in a chair. Hawke appeared to be sleeping. Though blood trickled down his face. Fenris gave a tired sigh. He wondered if he should get Hawke's armor. In the least the eye patch if nothing else. He went over to his bed and picked up his armor. After putting his armor on, he grabbed his sword from the wall and walked out of the room. Even though Hawke was asleep. He still looked troubled. Fenris sighed heavily and left out of the foyer and then out of the mansion. Making his way to Hawke's new home. Fenris looked up at the sky. It wasn't even near morning yet. He also didn't even know Hawke would ever have something he wasn't even sure of. It was bizarre. Making Hawke more of a person than ever. He does have fears and worries. There are things that make him human. The more Fenris thought about. The more he realized that Hawke was just broken inside. Everything he witnessed of that man. Hawke was damaged. Fenris didn't even know just how broken Hawke truly was. Though the kinship he felt for Hawke was there no matter what. Fenris wondered if that was partly why he was attracted to him those few years ago. He could barely even remember the conversations with the larger man. It was all a blur. Fear and pain. Were what he felt when he conversed with Hawke in the first few weeks of knowing the man. But now. There was no fear. There was only pain. He saw the pain in Hawke's eye before. Maybe it was an old slave habit to pick up on the emotions of a master. But Hawke wasn't his master. Yet part of Fenris felt that Hawke appeared as such. He shook his head trying to clear his mind. Making it to Hawke's home. Opening the door that Hawke left ajar. This was a small bit of evidence that Hawke was not in his right mind, again. The Hawke Fenris knew was decisive, confident, prideful and cautious. Hawke would not have walked out of here without knowing for sure no one would enter to harm his mother. Fenris quickly made his way up the stairs but stopped. Looking at the door, he took a deep breath. Part of him didn't wish to enter. He has been in Hawke's room back in Gamlen's shack. He has also been in the suite of Hawke's at the Hanged Man. He felt like he should allow some privacy for Hawke and his personal quarter. "Um... Who are you, Sir?" A voice said suddenly. Fenris whirled around to see a familiar dwarf. "You're Bodahn..." Fenris said lowly. The dwarf's eyes lit up. "Ah. I remember you. Sir Fenris was it? Um. I have to ask. What are you doing here at this hour?" The dwarf asked. The dwarf was in a night-shirt. Clearly the man heard the front door close. "I came to get Hawke's eye patch. He is at my home at the moment. Something bothered him... I do not wish to enter his room. Could you do this for me?" Fenris asked. Bodahn gave a curious look at Fenris before nodding. "I suppose I can. Give me a minute." He said. Entering the room before coming back out with the eye patch. There appeared to be a clothe wrapped around it. "I feel like I shouldn't touch it directly..." Bodahn said with a fearful gleam in his eyes. Fenris took the twisted crown from him and nodded. Promptly leaving and shortly returning to his own home. He wondered when Bodahn began living there. Or if the dwarf was hired as a servant. He walked into his room and sets the patch down by Hawke. Before returning to bed himself. He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before falling asleep. Though during his light sleep. He could hear Hawke move closer. Turning over slightly awake to see Hawke sitting on the floor with his back against the bed. Fenris let out a yawn and went right back to sleep.

It was near early morning in the barracks when Aveline was made aware to someone wishing to speak with her about something urgent. She made her way to her office and opened the door to see Fenris. "What are you doing here so early? Is something wrong?" Fenris looked down for a moment. "Just be at the Hanged Man. I can't exactly explain..." He said before quickly making his way past her. That was strange and rather ominous. She turned to look after her friend. Quite curious about what her friend needed. He wouldn't just say that and leave. That just wasn't like Fenris. She became worried. A part of her wondering if this had anything to do with Hawke. She grabbed her gear and quickly left. As she exited the Viscount's Keep. She saw Fenris waiting there for her. He was shifting back and forth uncomfortably. He was glaring at the nobles who were looking at him. She couldn't help but feel slightly angry by them staring at Fenris. She hurried down to his side and blocked the nobles' view. "Lead the way Fenris." She said. He merely nodded to her and walked away. The look on his face conveys worry. Something must be wrong. She could only imagine what the situation could be. They continued on the walk to the Hanged Man in silence. Fenris did not seem to wish to speak to her. Something was wrong. Sure Fenris was a silent type but he always made time for small talk. Meaningful or otherwise. This bothered her. Making her intuition kick in. She knew something must have been wrong for him to stay quiet. As they approached the Hanged Man. Fenris turned to her then. "Thank you for coming Aveline. You are one of Hawke's closest friends. Maybe you could make sense of this..." He said opening the door to the tavern. Aveline knew it must have had something to do with Hawke. "What did he do this time?" She asked. Fenris shook his head. "Nothing... And yet..." He sighed then. As he went up the stairs. She walked up to him as he opened the door to Varric's suite. Varric seemed disturbed slightly. She looked to see Hawke

Aveline watched Hawke pace back and forth in Varric's suite. The large man seemed disturbed by something. Aveline hardly ever saw Hawke so nervous. He had been like this since the early morning. Fenris began to explain to her what had happened that time before morning. Fenris made a mild complaint about Hawke coming in around one to two in the morning. Saying the man didn't seem like himself. Fenris even said Hawke openly swung at him out of frustration. Aveline frowned as she crossed her arms. She needed to know what was causing Hawke such distress. All she was able to get from Fenris. Was that Hawke kept saying something was wrong with his sister. Aveline tried to calm Hawke's nerves. The man wouldn't listen to her. She looked over to both Fenris and Varric. The two men also seemed concerned for their friend. Aveline turned her attention to Hawke. She knew he was saying something. But what it was eluded her. He was speaking too low and far too quickly. At one instance she noticed Fenris turn a bit pale from some of the things Hawke was muttering. Making her curious if the elf actually understanding the larger man's demented rants. Aveline turned to Fenris then. "Any idea what he is saying, Fenris?" She asked walking up to him. Causing the elf to shift his standing position. He crossed his arms and looked to the side. The question drawing Varric's attention as well. She didn't mean to put her friend on the spot like that. Knowing full well how uncomfortable he gets. Though she remained quiet as to let him feel when he should answer. She watched the man sigh before his jade eyes met hers. "He is concerned that some one may have hurt his sister. Some of the things he said were clear where as other words were not so. Though I know for sure. If someone did hurt Bethany. He would bleed them slowly as he tortures them." The elf said taking a small breath. Aveline felt like Fenris just gave her the censored version of what Hawke said. She looked over to her large friend. Who now stood still. One hand on the right side of his face. Clutching at the sharpened spikes of his helm. To be more accurate. His eye patch. Though Aveline didn't see it as such. She walked over to him then. "Hawke. What makes you think something happened to Bethany?" She questioned. His dark eye slowly trained itself to her. "You. Wouldn't understand if I even told you, woman..." He said standing straight up and glaring down at her. Causing her to sigh heavily. "Would it help if we went to the Gallows to check on her? You should be allowed to go back by now." She said trying to help ease his mind however she can. He turned to her fully then. "It would. Though at the same time. It wouldn't..." He said lowly. Aveline gave a slight nod as she let her arms fall to her side. "Then that settles it. Let's head over there at once." She said walking past him out of the suite. Hawke quickly behind her. She even heard Fenris and Varric follow suit.

After making their way to the docks. Hawke seemed to pick up pace. He began to briskly walk. It was a bit difficult to keep pace with him. They came to a stop to wait for a boat. It was still fairly early in the day, almost noon. When the boat finally docked to pick them up. Hawke had calmed a bit. He was still upset however. She watched him take a seat near the edge. Varric sat down across from him. Fenris sat down a short distance from Hawke. Aveline, herself, sat right down beside Hawke. "Bethany will be fine Hawke. You are just worrying a bit too much." She said. Hawke gave a snort.

"I am not worrying enough. I know... Something is wrong..." He said lowly.

"Could it just be that you miss your sister? I know you and her are extremely close. And sometimes a little too close. If I should say so myself." Aveline pointed out. Hawke rolled his eye.

"I am close because I did not wish to lose another member of my family. Yet I lost her anyway to the circle." He said honestly.

"You are completely devoted to family. No matter how bad off it may be." She said leaning against the back of the bench.

For a moment. The sound of the water seemed to get louder and fill the silence that happened suddenly between them.

"You hardly see anyone care about family anymore Hawke." She slowly said looking over to him.

"You are merely saying things in a means to cheer me up, Aveline. It will not work so easily." He said in a near whisper.

"I am saying it because it is true." She said allowing her words to sink in. Hawke seemed to close his eye. As if thinking on it. Just then the boat finally docked at the Gallows.

Hawke rose quickly and made his way off the boat. Aveline ran ahead of him and stopped him. "Do behave here. After all. They are still wary about you assaulting another templar." She said. Hawke gave a low growl. Aveline took off to walk ahead. She turned around to see Fenris and Varric walking behind Hawke. She focused back ahead of herself and tried to look for Bethany. It took a while to locate Bethany. Aveline seemed happy when she found her. Maybe now she could tell Hawke to calm down. She walked up to Bethany and set her hand on her shoulder. "Bethany. I am glad to see you okay. Your brother was worried. It is so strange seeing him like that. Maybe you could help him calm down." She said. Bethany turned to her and Aveline reeled back. Her eyes widened as she saw the mark on Bethany's forehead. The girl looked up at her blankly. "Jake Hawke is my brother. He is very irrational. High temper and easy to provoke. The templars tell me this. You are Guard Captain Aveline. What is the task you require of me?" She asked in an eerie monotone. Aveline swallowed deeply. "Maker... Why?" She asked almost crying. Bethany replied to the answer. "I had a strange dream that distressed me. A templar saw that these dreams were inappropriate. I was not permitted to wander. Least demons consume my body and mind." Aveline shook her head at this. "But you passed your Harrowing!" Aveline nearly shouted. "Yes. But I was weak. My brother is corruption. He will lead me to demons." Bethany said without emotion. This wasn't the cheery and shy girl she knew. It made her sick. She couldn't let Hawke see his sister. Not like this. Hawke was right. Something was wrong with Bethany. Though she felt a chill run down her back as she felt Hawke's presence. "Shit..." She whispered as she looked behind Bethany. Hawke's face seemed to lighten and a small smile pulled at his mouth. He was genuinely happy to see his sister. Aveline felt frozen. Fenris and Varric seem to talk to Hawke. They can't see what was on her forehead from where they were. If they could they would have distracted Hawke. Or at least tried to. But Hawke moved quickly. Aveline felt like she couldn't move. She watched as Hawke set his hand on his sister's shoulder. Turning her around. His smile quickly faded as his eye widened. If it was possible. His face grew much paler that it normally was. "The fuck... Is this..." He said slowly. His little sister staring up at him with empty eyes. "The fuck happened to you..." He was in disbelief. Something Hawke was hardly ever in. Bethany simply repeated what she said to Aveline. Expect she was addressing her brother. He narrowed his eye and stared closely at his sister. Something changed in that moment in Hawke's eye. His face becoming a creepy neutral he has been known for when killing randomly at the most horrendous moments in battles. Aveline then heard it.

"You... Are not my sister..." He said slowly taking a step closer to Bethany. Aveline along with Fenris and Varric were frozen.

"I am. You are Jake Hawke. The templars say you are my brother. I do not know how they mean this. We are far different from what siblings should be." Bethany said.

"No...You aren't her..." He said as his hand ran up the side of his face.

"I am her. I have been brought to peace, Brother. I no longer feel fear. I no longer have to worry." She said.

"You said being tranquil was worse than death..."

"I assure you I am fine. I was childish and fearful like a new-born babe."

Hawke shook his head. His hand sliding under his eye patch. Blood starting to drip down.

"I must return to my duties now. Good day, Jake." She said turning around and walking off.

Hawke twitched visibly and violently. His breathing began to become uneven. Aveline hurried forward and attempted to calm him. "There is nothing we can do Hawke. Let's go." She said. Fenris and Varric remained silent. Hawke closed his eye before speaking.

"That thing... Is not my sister. I will not allow it to parade around in her body..." He said lowly.

"Hawke. Let's go. You need to get away from here and calm down." Aveline said one again.

"Yeah. Maybe we can um... Find some gangs to fight or something..." Varric said trying to help.

Hawke continues to look after his sister how ever. "I made. A promise to her. I am going to keep it..." He said shoving Aveline aside and walking forward.

"What promise is that?" Varric asked.

"That is not my... Sister... I promised her... If they done this... I. Will..." He didn't finish as he suddenly dart towards his sister. Aveline and Fenris both instantly got what Hawke was saying and took off after him. Though it was too late. Hawke was already on his sister and swiftly spun her around. His hand clasped around her throat. This got several other mage's attention. Even the attention of a blonde templar. Her cold ice blue eyes trained itself on Hawke. It didn't take much for Hawke to set his hand upon his sister's head. Digging the sharp tip of his gauntlet into her temple. She didn't even react to the pain. Her eyes merely rolled back into her head and Hawke pulled her close. It was over before it even started. Aveline, Varric and Fenris stood stunned. They didn't know what to say. They were frozen in place. Hawke removed his hand as blood began to trickle down the side of Bethany's face. "I promised... To end your life. Should you be tranquil... I do not go back on promises made..." He pulled his sister's body close and held it. Several templars surrounded him as he remained still. What Aveline couldn't believe was that Hawke just murdered her sister. She knew for years that he would have done anything to protect her... Though he killed her. Without even flinching. His motive. A simple promise. The execution was flawless, quick, and painless. The way he choose to hold the body spoke that this hurt him more than he would let on. He held her as the templars surrounded him. Like they were trying to take her away. They came closer in on him. Till they heard a voice. "What does it matter that one mage is dead. Get back to your posts. There are others you should be watching." The woman's voice said. The templars backed off and quickly left. "She was your sister, no? If so then take her body." The voice said before anyone of the group could see who said it. Aveline looked over to Hawke. He was carrying Bethany's body like a person would do a child. Aveline was simply silent. Along with Varric and Fenris. They watched, stunned, as Hawke left.

On the way back. The three friends sat on the boat to the docks. The silence was unbearable. "So... Hawke... Killed Sunshine..." Varric started. He was trying not to cry. "Why... How? How could he do that? She was his sister... He didn't even blink..." Varric sat back against the cabin wall.

"He said... He promised...Her... Promised to kill her. Should she become tranquil... I... I never felt this way for a mage before..." Fenris admitted closing his eyes.

"Was it right, though? Anders and Merrill would agree with him but still... That WAS his sister... He should have showed some form of remorse but... He didn't..." Aveline said running a hand through her hair.

The door to the cabin opened and Hawke walked in. He carried his sister in and set her down gently. They looked at him all asking the same question. "Why?"  
Hawke sighed. "I may seem cruel. But my sister asked me. A long time ago. If she was to become tranquil. She would rather be dead. Than let her body serve a templar. Do you know they do to tranquil mages? They are better off dead. Sitting with my sister... I saw what templars command the tranquil to do. They are pretty much... Bound to their templars. They do not care what happens to their body anymore... All they do is serve. I may not care for mage rights. But I will not have my sister do such deprave things... She deserves better. Look. She smiles softly. Like normal... She didn't when her mind was asunder. The moment I killed her. I regretted it. But that smile. Came back for a moment and then it stayed once she died. You people may not understand my way of thinking. Nor will you ever understand. If one of you wished to not live a certain way I would grant you a swift death. All you need is but to ask... I am not cruel to my family. To my..." He went silent. Before lowly whispering. "My friends..." They didn't see the mix of blood and tears on Hawke's face as he remained facing away from them the entire ride back.

* * *

 **A/N The Years Between arc is to show how Hawke changes.  
Otherwise if I had skipped to the next act. Hawke would be different from when we started.  
Sorry no one really likes the YB Arc.**  
 ** _P.S. I'd like to thank everyone who has been with this in the start. As always leave comments.  
They make this worthwhile and me happy. And in some future chapters I might ask for detailed comments.  
Thank you guys._**


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40 Fall Before the Second Act**

 _Focus is on Merrill. This chapter is lighter than the last one._

* * *

It has been nearly a month after what befell Hawke's sister. His mother wept heavily. Mainly over why her daughter became tranquil. Hawke remained silent after those days. He drew away from the few people who were genuinely worried for him. They figured they would try to help in some way that they knew.  
It was evening in Lowtown. Merrill sat quietly in Varric's suite. With her other than Varric. Was Aveline, Fenris, and Anders. She missed Isabela but knew her friend was on some sort of trip. At least that is was Isabela told her. She looked at everyone here who were silent and playing Diamond Back. She soon began to worry. She wanted to know why everyone were quiet. It bothered her. She then began to worry about Hawke. Was he okay? Was he lonely? She didn't know. She hasn't been able to see him. She heard about Hawke's sister. She was so very beautiful. She didn't deserve to be made tranquil. She didn't mean to hurt people. Merrill knew Bethany was a nice person. So why did it happen to her? Merrill felt like crying at that moment. Hawke shouldn't have lost his sister that way. What made her feel worse was that she heard Hawke killed his own sister. She couldn't imagine having to live tranquil. No feelings, no emotion, and no love. It was a scary thought. She looked between the two people sitting beside her. Anders was to her left. Aveline to her right. She wanted to lean on someone. She wanted someone to hold her. She wanted someone to tell her it was going to be okay. She took a slow deep breath. Letting it out slowly. She wondered if they were thinking the same thing as she was. Maybe Anders was. After all he was a mage just like her. She looked around to everyone again. She wish someone would talk or something. That's when Hawke opened he door to the suite. Merrill's eyes lit up. "Finally! You come give us a visit!" Varric exclaimed loudly. Getting everyone else to look at Hawke. She saw as he huffed irritably before giving Fenris a pointed glare. Gesturing towards the elf. "That Bastard Elf would not quit harping on me. I was very close to ripping his tongue out." Hawke growled. Merrill noticed Fenris cross his arms and stick his tongue out. As if challenging Hawke to do so. "Are you challenging me, Elf?" Hawke droned taking a step into the room. Merrill couldn't help but give off a giggle. Getting everyone's attention. "I never seen you do that before Fenris." Merrill said looking at her elven brethren. Though. If he knew she considered him such. He would most definitely be outraged. "Who asked you anyway, Witch?" Fenris seemed to hiss. She stopped laughing then. Quickly looking down. "Well the air just got heavy again. If gets worse. I might get crushed!" Varric joked. That joke alone made everything lighter. Hawke huffed as he ran his hand through his long hair. As if smoothing it back. "Anyway. The whole reason I am here is to invite you lot to my mansion..." He said looking off to a far wall.

"Really?" Merrill asked.

"Yeah, What gives? Why are you doing that?" Anders questioned with a bit of suspicion.

"Was it your Mother's idea?" Aveline, Fenris, and Varric asked in unison.

Hawke growled lightly and turned slightly. "Yes... Mainly Mother's idea... She isn't over Bethany... But she figured this would help her." Hawke exclaimed. "Though I don't see how. You all are fucking weirdos..."

"Ha! Look whose talking Mister Psycho Kills-a-Lot. If anyone is weird. It's your ass!" Varric countered. Hawke glared at him.

"Imma let that slide this time, Varric." He growled.

"Oh? Why is that?" Varric inquired.

"Because it was funny. I'll make sure to kill you last." Hawke said with his own jest.

"Oh thank you! You're too kind." Varric nearly gave a snort of a laugh as he got up.

"Dark humor and tragic comedy... You really are sick. Aren't you, Hawke?" Fenris said lightly as he stood up.

"Well, Varric. The air got much lighter. You might just float off." Aveline commented with a smile as she got up from the table.

"Was that suppose to be a short joke?" Varric looked at the Guard Captain.

"If it was. She didn't aim low enough. Cause it went over you head." Anders managed to sneak in.

Varric held his hand over his chest dramatically. "Well being around Hawke makes you people know my pain!" He said throwing one hand over his face.

"That looking up to Hawke is a pain in the neck?" Fenris questioned.

"Looking up to Hawke doesn't hurt you. He is a good role model to kids." Merrill said. Everyone looked at her then. Hawke gave a low snort.

"I think she missed the point of those lame jokes... Either way. Varric is so short he can do a backflip under table..." Hawke said with a light jest before walking out of the room.

"Oh! That was a good one!" Varric exclaimed walking out after him. Soon being followed by everyone else.

Merrill stayed where she was for a moment. "I think I completely missed on what they were saying... Also. Varric is too big to do a backflip under a table. He'd have to jump. He would hit his head." She said to herself before dashing out the door after them.

Merrill walked up to the large mansion in Hightown. It was large and extravagant. The fall color of leaves on the plants by the door gave it a orange golden white flair. Feeling the eyes of some nobles walk past her. Even elven servants looked at her stunned. She guess that maybe the city elves never seen a Dalish elf. It would not be surprising. What was surprising was how glittery and bright Hawke's mansion was. Merrill hopped towards the door and knocked gently. That was the correct way to go about it right? Hawke would normally barge into her home. But that might be because Hawke forgets to knock? Maybe? She wasn't sure. Though she didn't mind it at all. He was welcome to come inside her home when he so choses. She waited patiently at the door till finally it opened. Hawke looked down at her. "Hey Girl..." He said opening it further. Merrill knew he always called her girl. After all. She did meet him when she was fifteen. She always marveled at how strong he was. The way his hair flowed behind him. Merrill wondered if maybe. Hawke would want to spend time with her just for a while. _"Elgnar.. I feel like I have butterflies in my tummy..."_ She thought to herself as she walked in. "I like your house Hawke." She said with her hands folded together in front of her. Hawke seemed to regard her for a moment. "Yeah... I guess. The outside still pisses me off. But apparently black and dark purple are not appropriate paint schemes for the outside walls..." Hawke growled. "Oh I think it would look so pretty! The grey stone could use a touch up." Merrill said agreeing with the color choice. She looked up to see his reaction. He merely hummed. She decided to stay quiet as she walked beside him into the main area of the home.

She paused and looked around. The home was brightly decorated. Surely his mother's doing. "Oh it is all so pretty! What's the occasion?" She asked Hawke. He sighed. "My birthday..." Hawke said lowly. Merrill gasped. "I didn't know it was your birthday!" She exclaimed. "I didn't even get you a present!" She continued to freak. "Enough! It matters not whether you did or didn't." He said walking away from her. She quickly followed after him. But stopped as Aveline walked out of the nearby hallway "Hey Merrill. Did you just get here?" The guardswoman asked. Merrill nodded. Seeing Hawke's mother a short distance away talking to Varric. Aveline noticed. "Leandra looks happy. But I am sure she is using this a distraction from Bethany..." Aveline said quietly. Merrill nodded before turning to the redhead. "Aveline. Did you know today is Hawke's birthday?!" She questioned.

"Of course I did. Wait, you don't remember?" Aveline asked.

"No. I didn't..."

"But you went to the other two of his."

"Oh... I thought they were just dinner parties with cake. Hawke never bothered with it..."

"Because Hawke doesn't care much for them. Also the other ones were not in a good place to his liking. Hawke is a picky son of bitch. No offense to his mother."

"Oh... I wish I could have got him a gift or something. Should I give him a hug? Aveline do you think he would like that?"

"First off no. Second. He isn't known for gentle touches."

"Well. Don't you think him being moody and cranky is because no one tries to hug him?"

"Merrill... I wish I had your innocent way of thinking. But the world doesn't work that way. Wish it did." With that said Aveline walks away.

Merrill looks after the red-head. Aveline was nice and sweet when it mattered and harsh to anyone who hurt her friends. Merrill smiled. She felt a bit closer to the Guard Captain now. She made her way into the kitchen by accident and bumps into Anders. Who looked a bit bothered being here. "Oh hello Anders." Merrill said. The blonde mage looked down at her. "I don't see why we are here considering Hawke doesn't like magic..." Anders said from his position on the wall. "Well we're his friends. Why wouldn't we be here?" She responded. Anders sighed. "I am not exactly his friend. He made it pretty clear he hates me... Sure he done things that gave me hope..." Anders trailed off as if wishing to say more. Merrill wondered why he didn't finish. "Anyway. Are you at least having fun Merrill?" He then asked. Merrill shrugged. "Not really. I didn't even know it was his birthday today. I am a terrible friend!" She whined. Anders shook his head. "I got him a brush. The bastard is more prideful than a pride demon. He's such a primper. Though. I kinda want to cut his hair off just to see if he shrinks..." Anders mused. Merrill couldn't help but giggle at it. She soon left out of the kitchen. Leaving Anders to himself.

She wandered her way through the house and some how ended up walking out of the back door to a private courtyard behind the house. The courtyard was inclosed in very high stone walls. Blocking it out from the rest of Hightown. She looked around in awe. It was so pretty and so many plants! They were beautiful. Though it didn't look the types of plants Hawke seemed to like. Must be his mother's garden. She walked through the plants. Some were flowering while most were getting ready for the cold winter weather. Further back into courtyard was a wall of tall shrubs. She then heard talking. She hurried over to the shrubs. Hearing Hawke's voice. She wandered her way along the wall to notice an opening. She began to walk through it but stopped. She looked past them. Before her was a large cleared out area. It had practice dummies. Hawke was there with his battle-axe. Swinging it at with such force. Knocking it down with ease. He gave a growl and turned around. That was then when Merrill noticed Fenris was leaning against the stone wall. Merrill remained quiet and slowly sat down. She was able to hear them easily.

Watching in silence. She heard Hawke speak. "These practice dummies aren't going to last long with me." He said with a low yawn.

"Get some that can withstand your attacks then." Fenris said looking on from the wall.

"Right... My axe will still cut through them like those." Hawke said with a gesture to the down dummy. A chunk missing from the wooden dummy.

"Maybe you shouldn't be trying to kill it then."

"Just because I am living in a mansion now doesn't mean I should skimp on training."

"A wise decision, Hawke."

Merrill watched as Hawke went silent. She tilted her head. Curious on what was to happen next. Watching Fenris stand from the wall. Picking up his great sword. Both men seem to walk a circle around each other. What were they doing? Then in a flash Fenris darted forward. Swinging the sword towards Hawke. Hawke easily countered and shoved Fenris back. Fenris huffed before charging at Hawke again. Hawke blocked again. This time with his arm. The sword sliding right into the spiked metal jutting from the vambrace. Giving a twist of his arm. Hawke grabbed the sword and pulled Fenris forward. Swinging forward with his left fist. Fenris dodged and pulled the sword free. Merrill scooted closer her eyes wide. It looked so amazing to see them fight like this. It was refreshing to see them sparring like friends would. She continued to watch them exchange maneuvers. What she noticed is that Hawke was not using all his power against Fenris. Neither was Fenris. She found it strange. They were both known to go all out during training. Though at one point in the practice. Fenris's sword clipped Hawke's hair. The larger man stopped and swung his leg. His shin connecting with Fenris's side. Knocking the elf down to the ground. Merrill nearly gasped out loud but covered her mouth.

"The bloody hell Hawke! Last time we both agreed no to kick!" Fenris hissed.

"Yes. But that was for cutting my hair, Bastard Elf."

"It wasn't my intention. Though would you have shrunk if I had cut off more of it?" Fenris said with a light laugh as he got up from the ground holding his side.

Hawke nearly laughed but suppressed it. "Yeah right. I just really hate having short hair. Besides. This look fits me far better than short hair like your's" Hawke said with an amused huff.

"To tell the truth... I used to have extremely short-cropped hair. After escaping. I was determined to just let it grown out. It felt weird at first having my hair constantly brush against the back of my neck and then my face." Fenris explained.

Hawke hummed. Running a finger along the sharpened spikes of his eye patch. "I use to have short hair. I didn't want to look like a little girl when I was younger... But after what happened to me... I just looked strange... Without... The right side of my face... I didn't even have anything to cover it other than bandages. I started growing my hair out just to cover it. Most people assume the eye patch I am wearing is just some weird head-piece or helmet. A lot just assume it is a style choice." Hawke said as he began fiddling with his hair.

Merrill was a bit surprised. She always assumed it was just a head-piece. She didn't know the right side of Hawke's face was gone. She felt bad for him. Though she also felt like this wasn't for her to hear. She looked back up as she heard Fenris begin talking.

"So... Hawke... How are you... Holding up?" Fenris asked.

"...Right... This about my Sister..."

"Yes. Are you doing okay?"

"I'm... Fine Fenris. Bethany is at rest. The world can no longer harm her..."

"I see... She was strong for a-"

"Mage?"

"I was going to say for a Hawke..."

Hawke laughed this time. Before going quiet.

Merrill stood up quietly. She felt like maybe she should not have been here. The talk was private between just them. That much she felt. She slowly backed up. But bumped into a small statue and fell over. Landing on the ground letting out a small squeak. The next thing she knew. Both Hawke and Fenris loomed over her. She backed up more. Hawke glared down at her. Fenris had his arms crossed. "Elgnar. I'm sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going. Your courtyard is so pretty." She quickly said nearly bumbling over her words. Hawke merely hummed as if accepting it. He reached down and grabbed her by the arm. She got a bit flustered when he hauled her up off the stone ground. "Oh. Thank you Hawke." She said trying to hide a blush. He was actually being nice to her for once! "Maybe you should start looking where you go, Merrill." He droned as he released her and walked off. He said her name. He actually said her name! She was shocked to say the least. Though Fenris gave a low growl and walked past her. This confused her. Was he mad at her for some reason? She hurried up and followed after them.

The next few hours was fun for Merrill. She got to talk to Aveline more and play with Varric. Anders seems a bit happier around her and not as mean. Though Fenris wouldn't even talk to her. Hawke spoke a little to her during the thing. She over heard Hawke and Aveline talking.

"It is... Comforting... To see mother happy. Even if she is using my birthday to get over Bethany..." Hawke said slowly.

"Her happiness is why you are putting up with this, huh?" Aveline asked.

"Yes to the ninth fucking degree. I can't stand parties... At least she didn't force me to wear that pompous ass suit..."

"Pfft. You told me about the last one. You must have felt like a Orlesian poodle!" She laughed.

"Shut it Guardswoman!" He growled back.

Merrill laughed as she continued on past them. She continued on till she ran into Hawke's mother. "Oh. I'm sorry I wasn't looking where I was going." She said backing up and looking down. "That's fine darling. Merrill, right?" Leandra asked. Merrill nodded. Her and Hawke's mother continued to talk. Hawke's mother enjoyed talking to her about everything. She mainly asked Merrill things regarding Hawke. Asking if Merrill liked him among other things. This made Merrill flustered. Though what seemed like hours were merely an hour and a half. She hurried away after talking. Walking into the library. Seems like some of her friends left already. Looking outside. It was getting late. She made her way out of the library to see Fenris still here. He was talking to Hawke. Fenris was leaning against a wall. Hawke standing before him.

She stopped and leaned against the door. Should couldn't just walk out there and bother them could she? She was about to go when she suddenly saw Hawke close in on Fenris. The male elf seemed to stand up straight. Hawke leaned forward and pinned Fenris between him and the wall. What was going on? She inched closer.

"Do you really have to invade my space, Hawke?" Fenris asked.

"I can if I so wish. Do you feel threatened?"

"No."

"Good. Mother is asleep and the servants are in their part of the Mansion."

"You do realize this is becoming a habit of you..." Fenris said looking to the side. His hand covering his neck.

"True..." Hawke's voice went down as if in a whisper. Merrill couldn't hear anymore. Well this wasn't fun. She walked out from the library but tripped. Hawke moved away from Fenris and walked over to her. Fenris seemed to take a breath. "The fuck are you doing here still? Did you get lost again?" Hawke growled. Merrill looked up and simply said, "No..." She knew that Hawke could tell if someone wasn't truthful. Hawke seemed to hum again before picking her up again. "Alright both of you out..." Hawke growled. Fenris stood off the wall. "What... Ugh... Fine." Fenris said with a low hiss. Giving Merrill a glare. She was confused. Why was Fenris angry with her? She didn't get a chance to wonder long as she found herself booted out of Hawke house along with Fenris. Fenris seemed to storm off. Merrill stared after him and sighed. Not entirely sure of what went on. She looked up at the sky and then quickly went home.

* * *

 **A/N Hey everyone Sep. 27 is my birthday! Hawke's is Oct. 30. So yay! Next chapter begins Act 2!**


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41 Offensive Nicknames**

* * *

It was around noon in Kirkwall. Down in the Lowtown tavern known only as the Hanged Man. Hawke sat in his stone chair in Varric's suite. He was playing a round of Wicked Grace with the dwarf who owned the room. Along with Aveline, and Fenris. They were several rounds in when Norah walked into the room. "Hey Hawke. Someone in a stuffy suit wants to see you." She said looking at Hawke. He growled as he rolled his eye. She continued to speak. "I told him to bugger off but he says he got some sort of message for you from the Viscount." She said sounded puzzled. "What did he say?" Hawke asked setting his hand down. The others looking at their favorite waitress. "Beats me. He wouldn't tell me anything. I told him you get pretty pissy if you're bothered." She said before walking out. Hawke gave a growl. "A messenger from the Viscount, huh? Better not be a waste of my time." He said standing up and walking from the room. Varric looked at Aveline. "What he do this time, Big Red?" The dwarf asked. Aveline shrugged. "I'm not sure. Hawke hasn't necessarily done anything worthy of jail time in a while." She said standing up and quickly leaving. As did Varric and Fenris who followed closely behind her. They walk down stairs to see this poor messenger fidgeting and sweating in front of Hawke. The lad was rather on the short side compared to the giant man. Hawke seemed to glare down at him. The man hurried up with his message and promptly took off. The three friends walked up behind Hawke. "Well? What he say?" Varric asked nosing his way right beside Hawke. The large man looked down at him and then at the other two. "The Viscount wished to see me. Apparently I have been summoned to serve. For what the bastard wouldn't say." Hawke said before moving toward the door. "Either way. He made it sound urgent..." Hawke droned as he walked out of the Tavern with the three.

"And so the foursome began their trek to Hightown. Where rich people piss their money away. They were curious about what sort of importance there was to be told at the Viscount's Keep. Only one way to find out! As they made their way through 's long cascading hair flowing through the wind along with his cape. Scaring the shit out of passersby. And-"

"Shut the fuck, Varric. Before I fucking punch you face."

"Hawke growled with the utmost malicious of tones ever uttered by man! Hawke stopped suddenly on the steps to Hightown and slowly turned toward the handsome dwarf who at this point in time hid behind the stoic and unwavering Aveline. Her shield with protect him from the torturous grasp of Hawke's executioner's blade."

"Varric... Please stop narrating. You're giving me a headache." Aveline said shoving Varric away. Varric turned to Fenris.

"Don't look at me, Varric. I'm not the one who blundered..." The elf said.

"Shit. Look. I'm just trying to have some fun here. No need to murder me in the streets." Varric whined.

"Then keep the narration to yourself, Dwarf." Hawke growled.

"Alright. Alright. I will. Beside. You know I am going to write something fantastical about you. It is just too much fun and exciting. Also people pay a lot to read about you and your Bad-assery." Varric said with a smile.

"Uh-huh..." Hawke turned around and walked off.

"He could at least cheer up. Shit. He broods more than you do Broody."

"For the last time. I don't brood." The elf growled.

"Fine. Moping then! You seem a pro at it!"

"Actually. I perfectly content at the moment." Fenris informed.

"Oh. So that's you smiling. Glad you clarified. I never would have known."

"Enough with your mouth dwarf."

"Aw come on now Hawke. Fenris was talking too!"

"True. But his voice isn't as irritating as your's..."

Varric huffed and gave a pout as he continued on after his three favorite people in Kirkwall.

They soon made their way into Hightown. Passing up a few nobles and guards along the way. Shortly passing up Hawke's new home. Though in truth the man prefered his Hanged Man suite more. He gave a glance at the estate before continuing up to the Viscount's Keep. They walked in and went straight for the Viscount's office. Some guards stopped them saying only Hawke was allowed in. The companions stayed put as he went in. Inside the main office was Viscount Dumar and Seneschal Bran. They were speaking back and forth among each other. They appeared to be talking about a messege they received.

"The compound was not meant to be Permanent. There are concerns the Qunari influence is... No longer... Contained..." Bran trialed off as he looked over to Hawke. Hawke walked into the room and stopped a few paces away from the desk. Looking particularly bored as he gave off a low yawn. Dumar looked up to Bran.

"Was it ever? Kirkwall has tension enough between Templar and Mage, but these Qunari. They sit like gargoyles waiting for Maker knows what, and everyone goes mad around them. Nearly fours I have stood between fanatics. And now... This." He said standing up and looking down towards the letter. Bran followed with his eyes and looked as well. Before both look at Hawke.

"Get the fuck on with it..." Hawke growled. Bran frown but Dumar crossed his arms and stared at Bran. "Leave us." He commanded. Bran gave a slight nod and walked out. Glaring at Hawke over his shoulder.

"Meredith at my throat, Orsino at my heels, and a city afraid of heretical giants... Balance is held because the Qunari ask for nothing. Even the space in Lowtown was a 'gift' to contain them. But now the Arishok has requested you. By name. What did you do?" Dumar asked looking up at Hawke.

Hawke glared pointedly at the Viscount before answering. "That is my fucking business isn't it?" He growled.

"I'm no fool. The Qunari are waiting for something, and it isn't rescue. I remember how you helped my son. It seems you have influence above your station. Speak to the Arishok. Give him what he wants to keep the peace. Can you do that for Kirkwall? Serah Hawke?" He asked.

Hawke gave a growled huff. "I'm no fucking politician. You must have some sort of talks on your staff to handle this..."

"Turned away, many times. But no. This request is very specific. The Arishok is waiting for you." Dumar stressed. Hawke growled and whirled around.. stepping out of the office. Dumar shuddered. He didn't know what was worse. Meredith, Orsino, The Arishok, or having to talk to Hawke directly. The Viscount sighed. Stepping down is looking more and more appealing..." He groaned.

Outside the office.

Hawke walks out and seems a bit pissed. But what else was new? He walked completely past them without saying a word. "Must be serious he ignores us completely." Varric said following. Aveline and Fenris gave a nod. They four of them soon left out of the keep just to run into Bodahn. He came barreling towards them panting and sweating. Poor man looked like he was running all over the place.

"Oh! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you, messere. I would say if you humans didn't all loke the same. but trying to find a large man with long hair was rather difficult. I kept mistaking tall women to be you from the back..." He said. Hawke leaned forward. Aveline and the others tried their hardest not to laugh at this. Varric failed miserably. He began laughing into his hand. His laughter muffled but Hawke could still hear him.

"Is there something you want, Bodahn..." Hawke growled. His hand twitching slightly.

"I came to deliver this to you. The last of the proceeds from all that treasure you found in the Deep Roads. Seems your friend Varric found a buyer after all, yes? Quite well done."

"And you ran yourself to near death to bring this to me. When it could have waited till I got home..." Hawke seemed to question but it didn't sound it.

"I didn't want to be responsible for so much coin! Just hold that bag was making me sweat." Bodahn said with a shiver. "Ah... Before I go, may I simply say how grateful I am that you've allowed my boy to stay in your home? I said I would repay you for saving Sandal's life, and I shall serve you faithfully. It is good to know he is safe."

Hawke didn't seem to be paying attention as he held the small bag of coin. he looked over to Bodahn. "Let me guess... This was Mother's idea?" Hawke said slowly. The hostility in his voice leaving.

"Yes. As you say. She did take some coin from it to buy things for the home. Heh. Um. I'll leave you to your adventures. Your mother asks that you return to the mansion when you have a chance." The dwarf said before hurrying away.

Hawke sighed before putting the money up and walking down the stairs.

it didn't take long before the three behind him started to talk.

"You Varric. Have a very large mouth." Aveline said.

"And here I always looked up to you. What is it now?" Varric asked the Guardswoman.

"There were fistfights in the Barracks over who was the model for your guard serial."

"Hard in Hightown. Riveting stuff. Everyone loves a dirty guard on the edge."

"Varric..."

"Fine. I'll start his big finish. Three chapters till Donnen Brenicovick retires and opens a tavern on the coast. I sure hope he makes it. He's getting too old for this shit." Varric said with a small whine.

Hawke sighed and glared back at them. Varric turned and shrugged. Aveline continued to glare at Varric. "Can we take one trip with out some one running their damned mouth?" Hawke questioned. Varric smiled at him. "Nope!" Getting the larger man to groan. The group continued their way down through the noble district coming to the market district. Fenris walked close to Hawke on his left side. Fenris then became aware of the merchants glaring at him. He seemed to growl lowly. Hawke turned his eye to look at the smaller warrior beside him. Hawke merely gave a hum. Fenris looked up to him before sighing. "I do love when the merchants glare at me as if i'm going to steal something." Fenris growled catching a few merchants staring at him. Varric started to laugh. "Pfft. The nerve. Dwarves make excellent thieves too, you know." Aveline shook her head as she followed the men towards the stairs leading to Lowtown.

"Sooo. Hawke. Where are we going?" Varric said in a sing-song way. Getting the large man to nearly back hand him.

"Why the fuck do I bring you along again, Dwarf?" Hawke asked. "Because I am your partner in crime and your favorite dwarf!" Varric said with a bright smile.

"Fenris is my partner in crime. You're just a sidekick." Hawke said with a jeer. Aveline hissed. "Oh... Burn." Varric frowned.

"Why is Broody higher on the list!? Am I not good enough for you!?" Varric pouted dramatically.

"You're fine but too short for my taste. Beside. At least the Bastard Elf's quiet where it counts." Hawke said Looking over to Fenris. He took a breath and looked off to nowhere interesting.

"I still say that nickname for Fenris is not right, Hawke." Aveline said. Fenris looked over to her.

"I don't really mind it anymore. He isn't really saying it to be hateful." Fenris said.

"Do you want a offenseive name too Aveline? How about GuardBitch?" Hawke said looking at her. She glared at him.

"Call me that and I will start calling you DangerFluffe." She seemed to smirk when Hawke gave her an appalled look.

"You wouldn't dare, bitch." He growled.

"Makes you sound less threatening. Or maybe Cuddles the Destroyer." She started to laugh.

"I don't fucking cuddle. I am not fluffy..." Hawke growled in a weird whining way.

"Don't I get a offesive nickname too, Mister Psycho Kill-A-Lot?" Varric asked.

"I haven't decided yet. You are so many things." Hawke said with his voice lowering.

As they made their into the Lowtown Bazaar. A guard walked up to Aveline. "Captain. We need you at the barracks. Their at it again." The guard said. Aveline groaned and glared harshly at Varric. "This is your fault." She said before turning around and heading back to Hightown. The guard following quickly after her. Varric shrugged. "Oh well. Shall we continue?" Varric said walking up to Hawke's side. The large man merely hummed. They continued their way through Lowtown in silence. Once they reach the dock however. A qunari walked up to Hawke. "You... Are Hawke. A patrol went missing along the Wounded Coast. The Arishok said you have some semblance of honor. So tell me. Did you kill them?" The horned man asked. Hawke paused and looked over the slightly taller male. This qunari had some nerve walking up to him like that and then asking such a ridiculous question. Though fighting qunari is fun. Hawke couldn't recall slaying any qunari along the coast. He let off a growl then. "I haven't killed any qunari recently. Mind that tongue of your's least that could change." Hawke warned. The qunari simply nodded. "I believe you. If you are not responsible then I waste my time here." He said before walking off. "What was that shit about?" Varric questioned. "The fuck should I know." Hawke spoke harshly before making his way to the compound. Fenris gave a sigh and followed along with Varric. Once inside. The three men made their way to the bottom of the steps. The Arishok sitting silently upon his throne. Hawke stopped before the first step and glared up at the qunari Leader. The Arishok sat up more as he looked down at Hawke.

"Serah Hawke." He said slowly.

"What is it?" Hawke questioned turning his head slightly to see better.

"Last we met. I did not know your name. Did not care to. You have changed your fortune over the years. The Qunari have not. I offer a courtesy, Hawke. Someone has stolen what he thinks is the formula for gatlok. You will want to hunt him." The Arishok spoke. Though Hawke seemed to have lost interest.

"Why should I care about what some peasant stole from you and you people. This isn't my problem. It's your's. Fix it. Yourself." Hawke sneered as he turned and walked past his two companions. The Arishok frowned a bit and sighed before speaking.

"Thousands will die."

"What does that have to do with me, exactly?" Hawke groaned as he turned to look at the Qunari leader.

"The stolen formula was a decoy, Saar qamek - a poison gas, not explosives. A small amount is dangerous enough to your kind. But if made in quantify, perhaps by someone intending to sell it..."

"That loud mouth dwarf..." Hawke seemed to say as if in a questioning state. But still not even remotely interested.

"Would he be cautious, or would he assume success and make enough to threaten a district? A courtesy, Hawke. You will want to hunt him."

Hawke looked back at Varric in that moment and eyed the dwarf.

"Pfft. Don't look at me. Though I did hear about a sell off-" Hawke growled. "Look. I haven't kept up on the squirt. Ask the Coterie." Varric said.

"Panaheda. Hawke. It will be interesting to see if you die." The Arishok said with a slight smile.

Hawke gave a yawn and turned. Walking off with the others following after him. After they left the compound however. Varric seemed to get a bit worried. Hey listen I made plans to take Daisy shopping. I really don't want to disappoint. I also want to go with you. Shit." He said. Hawke looked at him. "If you made plans with someone then you should keep your word. Now go." Hawke said simply. Varric looked a bit in awe. "I wasn't expecting you to say that. Thanks. Tell me what happens when you get back." He said with a smile before hurrying off. Fenris looked at Hawke in slight puzzlement. Though he remained quiet as they themselves walked to the edge of the docks taking a short cut through to Darktown.

As they walked the dark crumbling path through the underside of Lowtown. Fenris couldn't help but ask. "Have you been feeling alright Hawke. You are not entirely yourself." Hawke stay silent as they continued to walk. "Don't ignore me, Hawke." Fenris growled. Hawke was acting strange. The last few weeks since Hawke's birthday. The large man has acted strangely. He doesn't seem as aggressive and malevolent as he use to. This bothered Fenris. He was use to the hateful jeering Hawke. Not this passive aggressor. Hawke seemed to still be a distinct to anyone outside the group. So that was the same. Fenris guessed he just wasn't use to Hawke being well. Friendly. To him. This wasn't Hawke. Fenris began to get increasingly upset that Hawke wouldn't answer him. So without truly thinking about the consequences of his next action. He reached forward and grabbed Hawke's hair. He knew that Hawke hated nothing more than having someone touch his hair. The moment he did. Hawke whirled around grabbed his wrist and jerked him forward. "Haven't I told you not to mess with my hair, Bastard Elf?" Fenris growled. "Well then how about you quit ignoring me, you Sick Fuck!" Fenris shot back. Hawke put his face close to Fenris's. His dark eye burning into the elf's forest green eyes. Fenris held his breath. A warm feeling spread over him at having Hawke so close. He held Hawke's gaze. For brief moment Hawke closed his eye. He started to speak. Fenris's eyes immediately feel to Hawke mouth. "I chose to ignore you because there is no point in speaking at this moment in time. I don't have to answer you questions, Fenris. If I wish to stay silent and ignore you. Then That is what I will fucking do. So do not dare touch my hair again like this. Least I will break your fucking wrist next time." Hawke growled. Fenris quickly looked up just as Hawke opened his eye. The large man shoved Fenris back roughly. Fenris took a breath and let it out slowly. Watching Hawke turn from him. Hawke long somber hair whipping slightly due to Hawke's movements. Fenris had the urge to run his hand through Hawke's hair this time. But refrained. That man's hair felt like silk. Fenris always knew Hawke was a prideful person. Even more so when it came to the man's hair. Fenris ran his hand through his own hair. It wasn't as soft and luxurious like Hawke's. Then again. He wasn't obsessed with his hair like the larger man was either. He hurried along the ruining pathway after Hawke and made his way back beside the larger man. They soon came into Darktown and went directly to some woman selling the assets of a dwarf named Javaris Tintop.

"You're selling the assets of a dwarf name Javar Tin-whatever..." Hawke didn't seemed focused at the moment. Or he just didn't give a flying fuck about the name.

"Javaris Tintop. Why yes we are. Limited districts, limited contracts. Keeps territory clear and separate from the start. He had a meager lot, but skipped with dues outstanding, so up it goes."

"Tell me where the little bastard is." Hawke said glaring down at the woman. She shivered.

"Scary. Anyone else, I'd jump to their defense. Unless they owed me like he does. Javaris left in a hurry I'd put him at Smuggler's Cut. If he's avoiding patrols. It empties out to a cave outside town. Tell him I said "Don't come back." " The woman then turned and went about her business.

"Javaris does not sound capable of the crime we are chasing..." Fenris murmured behind Hawke. Hawke gave a slight hum of agreement and left to where the Smuggler's Cut's entrance was located. After all. He was well aware of many underground tunnels from his time in the Red Iron.

Fenris continued to look after Hawke as they made their way through the tunnel work of Smuggler's Cut. It was quiet and deserted. Fenris would have been sure there would be some sort of enemies hiding in wait but. Sadly there was nothing to distract him. He was alone once again with Hawke in a place where anything could happen. He observed Hawke fiddling with his head-gear. Seems it was bothering him. Hawke continued to mess with it before taking his hand away. Going through the tunnel for a while. Hawke had found a ship in a bottle. Why he kept it was unknown. Either they continued. Fenris looked away as he followed Hawke. Not aware that Hawke had stopped walking. Fenris walked right into him and quickly backed up. "That...was a mistake... My Apologies." Fenris said quietly to himself. Hawke looked at him pointed ahead. Fenris looked forward and notice that there was several dead dwarven bodies. They seemed to be from the Coterie. "Do you think it is Javaris?" Fenris asked. "If it is. He hired some bodyguards. Let's proceed." Hawke said lowly as they made their way to the cave entrance. As they walked out. It looked like it was part of the Wounded Coast. A small reclusive path. Up a head were Javaris and his guards. Hawke seemed to laugh with a sudden wicked smile. Fenris seemed to relax a bit at seeing the hellish grin. Part of him missed seeing it. After all. He grew very fond of Hawke's aggressive and forthright nature. They readied themselves for a fight. Though much to Hawke's dissatisfaction the fight didn't last long enough for him to really enjoy blood-letting. These guards were simply too pathetic. Just like the one that hired them. Who was at this point in time. Probably shitting himself senseless. Hawke and Fenris slowly walk up to him.

"Cease your sniveling dwarf! You aren't dead... Yet." Hawke said slowly with his twisted smile pulling at his mouth. Slowly licking the blood that was shed onto his face from the fight earlier.

"You?! Grannies garters, she would hire you. I can't buy a break on discount. You know what? Go ahead. Take my head and pike it back to that sodding elf! I need a rest." Javaris said.

"The fuck are you talking about dwarf. What sodding elf?" Hawke questioned.

"You don't know!? Then, what, you're tracking for the qunari? Then she did it, that elf got them after me for nothing! Bitch born!"

"The theft is not as obvious as it seemed?" Fenris said lowly.

"Look. I'm minding my own business, same old, and out of the blue some elf tries to kill me. Says she got the Qunari powder and I'm her cover. I slipped her. Hired some body guards and ran for it. And now you're here great.

"..."

"Look want to drag dark into light. I had a man follow her. She is in Lowtown. I just want to get out. With my dead guards. Thanks for that..."

"Fine get lost before I change my mind."

"Right. got me a rosy future to plan. I think I'll start by selling some boots..." He said turning from them. Fenris started to walk away as well as Hawke.  
"Damn ox headed long-haired bitch born. Take a breath on long shaft you damn piece of..." Javaris trialed off. Hawke stopped and turned towards the dwarf drawing his axe. As the dwarf was fighting with the boots of the dead man before him. He didn't see the axe over his head come down. He didn't even make a sound as the giant axe sliced straight down the middle of his head. Blood erupted as Hawke used all his strength to cut the dwarf in two. Hawke pulled the axe way as it made a slick sucking noise while it was removed. Fenris just stared at him in complete silence. Shaking his head and looking at the dwarf's corpse. Hawke looked back at the elf. Simply saying, "He pissed me off." Fenris crossed his arms and sighed.

* * *

 **A/n I liked how Fenris's reaction is slightly different due to the look o his face dependent of Hawke's personality.**  
 **Also if any of you guys can come up with an offensive nickname for the rest of the companions I will be sure to use them.  
After all Hawke is mean because he cares lol. ****This quest continues in the next chapter.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42 Problems Everywhere**

 _Still a lot of dialogue..._

* * *

Both Fenris and Hawke walked away from the scene and attempted to go back through Smuggler's Cut. Only to find the way blocked. There seemed to have been a bit of a cave in. Probably due to Hawke ramming a poor guard into the side with ungodly force. The remains of the man was half buried under large rocks. "Looks like we are going have to take the long way..." Fenris voiced lowly. Hawke stopped and looked at the cave in. He appeared to be thinking. "This place is not far from the Wounded Coast... Didn't a qunari accuse me of murdering a patrol there?" Hawke questioned. Fenris simply answered yes. "Well then. Let us kill two birds with a single stone. Shall we?" He asked turning and making his way down to a side path. Fenris shrugged and followed. They made their way along the path for a few hours in silence till they met the familiar sights of the Wounded Coast. Fenris was somewhat conflicted by this. He had plenty of time to actually talk to Hawke. Though sadly each time he tried. Hawke simply disregarded him. Fenris felt like pestering Hawke again. Just for the hell of it. Though as they made their way through the coast. They seemed to stumble upon the lost patrol. Hawke gave a light huff of amusement. Kneeling down beside the dead qunari. "Hmm... They have been dead for a few days... But the wounds on them are not even made by humans. Nor by any wild beasts." Hawke said beside one. Fenris looked at Hawke as if trying to understand his thought process. Fenris knew Hawke was extremely skilled in the art of killing. If it truly was an art. "So what do you think killed them?" He asked walking up behind Hawke. In that moment, Hawke stood up quickly. "I have a feeling we are about to find out." He growled pulling his weapon free as a horrendous growled roar tore through the air. Fenris turned quickly on his heel to see several shades and an abomination. No doubt these creatures were the culprits who dispatched the Qunari patrol. But such creatures were weak and fell easily to Fenris's blade. As well as Hawke's. Making Fenris curious on how the qunari failed to fight against them. Unless it was an ambush. Though the thought of these creatures using tactics to take out strong enemies was near to impossible. "Weak... The Qunari are world renown for their warriors. Yet they fall to such pitiful creatures... They weren't even out numbered. Pathetic..." Hawke seemed displeased but this site. Apparently he held the qunari to such a high esteem. He shook his head and walked off. Though as they began making their way. There was a loud commotion going on near the cliffs. Hawke seemed to gravitate to it. He laughed as he held his head back a bit. "I love the smell of fresh blood." He said with a sick purr. Fenris sighed and knew that him and Hawke were about to get involved with something else. He followed after Hawke who seemed to have spotted a group of Kirkwall guards.

As they got closer they saw one guard looking back over a large rock and down again. When he picked his head up again. An arrow was fired into his head. the force of the fired shot cause his body to get blown back and collapse. Hawke casually made his way over. An arrow whizzing past his head. He knelt along with Fenris. Who dropped down behind him. Hawke looked at the one in charge. The woman looked at him.

"Are you the reinforcements? I thought the captain would send more?" She asked.

"You are a member of the guard correct?" Hawke questioned as Fenris crept closer to Hawke.

"I'm Lieutenant Harley. And this is what's left of my patrol. This disaster is my first 'routine' assignment." She said looking saddened.

"I ain't reinforcements. But that doesn't matter. Who are you up against. Name. Numbers." Hawke growled. Harley seemed shocked.

"You're not reinforcements?! Damn! Look we're up against Evets Marauders. Fell Orden's up there. And Viktor Longdeath's handiwork. You've already seen." Gesturing to the dead soldier. She looked down. "We tried two sorties up the path, but it's trapped to oblivion. Now I'll just be thankful to get out of here alive." She sighed.

"No fair, guard dog. You've brought friends!" Fell Orden yelled.

"Shut your mouth!" Harley yelled back at him. To which the man laughed.

Hawke looked at the men cowering around him. He gave a growl. "This is pathetic. What sort of fucking guard are you men suppose to be? Might as well handle this ourselves, Fenris." Hawke growled.

"That may not be a wise idea Hawke. They far outnumber us." Fenris warned.

"And what? Allow fucking cowards to fight alongside us?"

"I'm with you! But I am not sure about my men..." Harley said looking at Hawke. He looked over to the men again. Some were even praying.

"Ugh. Pitiful. Alright, all of you!" Hawke barked at them. Getting several to jump. "It is time to earn your pain, men. Either your with me on this assault. Or you're fucking deserters. And we all know what happens to deserters." Hawke growled with a sick smile pulling his axe free. They slightly gasped upon seeing the deadly blade. The men looked at one another before nodding and pulling their weapons free as well. Either they were rallied by Hawke's aggression or intimidated enough to fight. They stood ready and Harley was in disbelief.

"You would make a fine captain of the guard." She said.

"Not my damn job. I just hate cowards." Hawke snarled as he too stood up. Fenris followed suit behind him as he began to walk forward.

"Make sure to look out for traps. Evets Marauders are deadly." Harley warned. Hawke huffed.

"Not as deadly as I am." He said as the smile on his face got wider.

Hawke made his way through to them as did Fenris. As the fight began. Hawke yelled out the words 'Blood Mage'. That alone was enough to fuel Fenris to target Fell Orden and cut him down quickly. It really didn't take long to cut down every single enemy. Harley stood stunned and confused for a moment as the battle ended. Hawke walked up to her along with Fenris.

"That should be the last of them." Hakwe said lowly.

"They're... All dead? I... I can't believe it... I'll tell Lieutenant Jalen what you've done. I'll make sure he rewards you. Men! We're heading home!" She yelled happily. Quickly leaving with her patrol squad.

"Shall we get going?" Fenris asked looking at Hawke.

"I guess..." Hawke wasn't really there considering what he did to Viktor. Fenris sighed wondering if any of the guards caught what Hawke did. He assumed they were too focused on the enemies to notice Hawke's ability.

Fenris followed after Hawke in silence yet again. Fenris remained silent as they made their way towards Kirkwall. It had begun to get dark. "Remember Hawke. It was somewhere in Lowtown." Fenris reminded Hawke. Who simply sighed. "It probably wouldn't be out in the open either. Maybe in an alleyway. Perhaps." Hawke added. "Then we should check the back ways. ... Do you think we should inform Aveline? After all. Her guards patrol the city." The elf questioned. Hawke gave a low growl. Seems Hawke disagrees with getting Aveline. Fenris knew that it ment they were going to head in alone. Upon arriving to the Lowtown area. They began searching the back alleys. Till Hawke stopped. He raised his head a bit higher as if sniffing the area. "Do you smell that?" For a moment Fenris looked confused. He couldn't smell anything. But he knew that Hawke had a higher sense of it. "No... What is it?" He asked the larger man. "Smells like death... From over there..." Hawke said walking towards the direction. As they got closer Fenris could start to smell it as well. It was not a pleasant scent. They soon made it to an entry way where a guard stood preventing people from entering the area. This part of town was far from the main road of Lowtown. This alley was near to unknown to most people. Other than to those that lived there. Hawke made his way up to the guard. "I can't fight the damned air. You people need to leave now." The guard said. Hawke walked up directly to the guard in a stalking sort of motion. The guard jumped when he looked up to Hawke, who seemed to just appear before him. "Move, guard. I need to pass." Hawke said shoving past the guard. Who panicked. "Wait! Messere Hawke!" His voice filled with distress. Hawke glared down at him and growled due to the guard's hand on his arm. "Maker, please, The street is death. There was a cloud that drove people mad, and now a seeping mist that kills. All I can do is warn people. If someone like you dies on my watch. I'm right stuffed." He said. Hawke gave a light laugh before asking. "What is your name. Boy." The guard swallowed. "Maecun." Hawke stared blankly at him before smiling. "Tend the herd, boy. I'm going in." Hawke said with a sick sneer. Before roughly ripping his arm from the Maecun's grasp. "And don't you ever think about touching me again." He warned walking in with Fenris behind him. Who just shrugged at Maecun as he walked by. Maecun swallowed again and shook in his boots. "Shit..." He whispered holding his head.

The moment they walked into the area where the mist hung thick in the air Fenris choked. "We won't last for long in this... Let us find the source." He said covering his mouth and coughing again. He nearly broke into a fit. Hawke on the other hand took a deep breath. He leaned forward and gave a groan. He soon began laughing. "This... Feeling... Is... Amazing." He slowly laughed a bit more taking another breath. "Hey now..." Fenris forced himself to say through the thick mist. "Don't start being a damned masochist now Hawke! We could die here if we don't hurry!" Fenris seemed to bark at Hawke. He sighed. "You forget how little pleasure I derived from living day-to-day in this fucking hell called life. I enjoy feeling death claw at my back." Hawke said giving a shuddering groan. Fenris held a clothe over his mouth and nose. He remained silent for a moment. "Please. Hawke. I am willing to follow you but... I don't want to get killed in the process." Fenris said pleading. Before he gave another fit of coughs. Hawke stood straight and walked ahead picking up some sort of latch. "I rather you didn't suffer unless it was by my hands. Fenris..." Hawke said before using the latch on a barrel that was emitting the gaseous mist. Fenris was unsure if he should consider what Hawke said as genuine concern or if it was alluding to something more sexual. The man truly was sending off mixed signals. The moment the barrel was closed tightly. A bunch of crazed thieves jumped from windows and roofs. Fenris gave a pained groan as he was struck behind the head by one of them. He fell forward and quickly stood up pulling his sword free. Though he didn't need to as Hawke had bridged the distance and slammed the assailant with the flat side of his axe before bringing it down. Fenris turned to see one of the thieves make a jump for Hawke. Fenris dashed between them and struck the man through the chest. Blood sprayed from the fatal wound every where. Fenris was thankful that the clothe was still over his mouth. Having made it into a mask. While Hawke busied himself with dealing with the barrel. He felt a spray of blood splash against his back. He knew Hawke was doing the same thing he was doing. But knowing Hawke. It was straight up brutality. He turned and saw that he was right. A man torn in two. The lower half of the man on the ground while Hawke threw the upper most of the man into another one. Hawke just let out a laugh. Fenris slightly wondered if Hawke's mindset was easily effected by this gas like the Arishok said it would. And if it is affecting Hawke. The man would just revel in the bloodshed. There weren't many enemies that jumped out to begin with. Fenris was hesitant to go up to Hawke. Who was currently clawing at the right side of his face under the eye patch. "H-hawke?" He hesitantly asked. Hawke looked at him and smiled. "Yeah." There was an odd tone to Hawke's voice. Fenris swore he heard it from somewhere. "Hawke we need to clear this place up... Try not to lose yourself." He said taking a step closer to Hawke. He knew he was within striking distance. Fenris stared up at Hawke, who just smiled down at him. Fenris was worried about Hawke. He couldn't say he was ever worried about another man before. Or person to be exact. He sees how Hawke's body gives an involuntary jerk. Fenris gave a sigh and turned away from Hawke. He knew Hawke had picked up a metal lever that closed the barrels. So he searched for another one. He soon found one and proceeded to close another one. Again. Thieves jumped from house windows. Some of them land harshly and break their legs. He heard one of the thieves talking. "Blame the oxmen. Blame the gas on the oxmen." He said while he was attacking. He heard when Hawke moved. Directly targeting the thieves. Fenris saw one thief get cut down. Another metal latch flying from him. "These people are beyond help. Especially from Hawke..." He said slowly. Deciding to deal with the barrels as Hawke dealt with the enemies. The elf hurried towards the lever and took off towards another barrel. As he closed it however. He was jumped by a man hiding among the shadows. Fenris let out a pained yelp as he hit the ground. His sword skitter away from him as it hit the ground. He looked behind over his shoulder and saw his assailant swing down with their sword. He pushed off the ground and practically rolled out of the way. Trying to stand quickly he stumbled as a sharp pain shoot up his leg. Failing to stand he fell back to the ground and hissed as the pain in his leg started to throb. The thief that attacked him charged towards him. "Irrumabo! Quid ego faciam!?" He huffed as he pushed himself to evade the attack. Though it jarred his markings and the large gash in his leg. He soon began to feel the open wound upon his back. Assumingly from the earlier attack. He looked up with eyes wide. He wish he hadn't dropped his sword when the man ambushed him. But in the fleeting moment as the man swung his sword downward. Fenris saw Hawke's axe break through the man's flesh. As it rend its way through the man. It struck the sword and pushed it off to the side. Everything was happening in such slow motion. Fenris could see when the man before him was being cut and torn in half. A sickening gush of blood erupted from the man's body. The blood splashed unto the ground and Fenris. All he could see was red. The blood everywhere. It blinded him for a few seconds till he force his eyes open again. The disturbing twisted smile shown on Hawke's face. His sharp teeth exposed as his eye was dilated. It was a truly horrifying and relieving sight in equal measures. Fenris was in such a shock that he physically flinched when Hawke reached out and set his hand on the elf's face. Pulling off the now blood soaked clothe covering the elf's face. Hawke's touch was anything but gentle. It was forceful and rough. But it wasn't ment to be. It was as if Hawke was attempting to caress Fenris's face and wipe the blood from him. After the extremely awkward petting was over. Hawke's hand slide behind Fenris's head. Fenris felt Hawke's hand tighten into a fist in his hair. He was harshly jerked to his feet. Fenris gave a hiss as everything began moving faster. A cold sensation ran through him then. His pain fading as if it never existed. Hawke was using his cursed ability again. In all honesty. Fenris welcomed it openly. He suddenly knew for certain that Hawke actually cared for his well-being. He felt a bit at ease by this. He soon felt something slick and wet hit the side of his neck. It made its way up to his face. He soon flushed furiously at the realization that it was Hawke running his tongue across his flesh. Lapping up the blood no doubt. Fenris couldn't help but give a whined whimper along with a light shudder. Then. It was over. He felt his great sword get shoved into his stomach after his hair was released. He coughed as he looked to see Hawke turn from him. His long flowing hair was drenched in blood. The thieves were dead now. "The Arishok was right. Looks like the poison got the thieves." Hawke said looking around at the bodies. Fenris forced his blush to go away as he shook his head. Trying to catch his breath. "Which sends them into a frenzy...Wonderful." He forced himself to say. They found the last latch and closed the last barrel. As they began walking their way back to the center most part of the area. An elven woman walked up and looked around.

"You. Elf... Is this your doing?" Hawke pretty much commanded. Fenris stood a short way behind him. His hand upon his neck.

"Is that? Serah Hawke? You have enemies. I'm glad it's you really. These poor people. You are a much better target!" She said smiling.

Hawke was digging his clawed gauntlet under his eye patch. "Explain yourself, now..." He growled as his hand twitched.

"Qunari take my people! My siblings forget their culture then go to the Qun for purpose. We're losing them twice! So I get some help from your people. We'll take the Qunari Thunder, make some accidents, ad make them hated it! But this? This is all wrong."

Hawke's body gave a jerk as his demented smile returned. It was to a point where he began to drool. "Only one thing to do with you.."

"It can still work. They are hidden in your city. They'll enrage the faithful, and make sure the Qunari are blamed! Me, I'm finished. I just need a few more bodies. A few more!" She shouted as she rushed down the stairs.

Hawke's body snapped like that of a taunt bow. He swung once at the elven woman and sliced upwards. A single hit was enough to cut through her. But there was more enemies that tagged along with her. They attempted to swarm Fenris till Hawke let out a loud roar that got their attention. It was no use. Hawke and Fenris were quite capable of dealing with the numbers. They cut through them quickly. After the carnage was over. Hawke seemed to mellow out and his body ceased the involuntary twitching and jerks. "Time to tell the Arishok he was right. And wrong." Fenris said taking a few breaths. Finding the air had began to clear. They soon walked from the area. Maecun seemed to be relieved. Saying how people were finally coming out after them. He thanked them over and over. Hawke simply ignored the man and walked on. Fenris bowed slightly but kept following. They began making their way back into Lowtown. It was far too late to go to the compound. They would most likely be locked down until morning. Fenris gave a chilled shiver. The fall air was much colder at night. Making it known that winter was on the way. They walked into the Lowtown market area and Fenris was going to make his way towards his mansion. "Where are you going, Fenris?" He heard Hawke ask. "Home... I'm cold, filthy, and tired..." Fenris said looking down. "Then rest in the Hanged man. It is much closer." Hawke said walking to sort of pressure Fenris to turn towards the Hanged Man. Fenris relented easily. He was in no shape to challenge Hawke like usual. He gave long yawn as he entered the tavern. Hawke walked past him and up the stairs. Fenris soon followed. He might as well. At least Hawke had a high quality bath. Though part of Fenris started to think back on what Hawke did during the battle earlier. He blushed again as he ran his hand along his neck. Hawke had tried to be gentle. But by the Maker. Was Hawke horrible at gentle touches. Fenris wondered if Hawke was unable to achieve something so simple with another person outside his family. As they entered the suite. Hawke allowed Fenris to bathe first. Fenris was grateful for it. And Fenris had to wear something of Hawke's yet again. Not that he minded wearing Hawke's clothes. It was just that he was vulnerable without his armor. And Hawke was capable of doing the absolute worst things imaginable. But Fenris felt safe around Hawke. It was true the man was a horrendous beast during battle and a hateful dangerous person to be near. Though Fenris didn't feel threatened by Hawke. Hawke was just a normal man to Fenris. Strong but normal.

Fenris sighed as he laid stretched out along the bed. The bed was much more acceptable than his own at the mansion. He could feel himself sink into the mattress. He could have went to sleep already. Though his mind would not stop wandering to Hawke. A slight blush crept over his face again. He shook his head and dismissed the impure thoughts of wanting to see Hawke bathing. Besides. What was the point? Hawke was a man just like he was. So he should have the exact same equipment. Though Fenris couldn't help but wonder if Hawke was 'big' all around. Fenris choked as he thought of this. He wasn't sure was wrong with him. He shouldn't be acting like a pre teen girl. He sits up as the door opens and Hawke walks into the room. He was currently drying his hair and brushing it methodically. Fenris smiled a bit. The man sure was obsessed with his hair. That's for sure. Fenris doubted he ever met a man so prideful when it came to their hair. Fenris looked at Hawke and seemed a bit disappointed to see Hawke's right face bandaged. He kind of wanted to see what was hidden there. Though. Hawke had reasons for hiding the right side of his face. Just the same as Fenris was keen on hiding the majority of his markings from people. He sighed and laid down soon falling asleep. Hawke looked over to him and for a brief moment then smiled. Letting out a soft sigh of being content before his smile disappeared and he became serious once again. He went back into the back room and pulled out a spare mattress he dragged from his estate. He laid down on it and soon fell asleep.

A few hours later Fenris woke up and sat up in the bed. He looked around and noticed Hawke sleeping in a spare on the floor. Fenris frowned and got out of the bed. Bringing the blanket with him. He got down beside Hawke and curled up on the spare mattress by him and fell back asleep with a light sigh. Seeming like a content cat. Hawke turned slightly and hummed in his sleep.

* * *

 _ **A/N Sorry about missing last week. Blame Fire Emblem Fates. I'm a sucker for Saizo and Shura.  
Also some of them are voiced by Gideon Emery. I love it!  
**_


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 42 Other Interests**

* * *

It was early morning when Fenris woke up. He looked around and was a bit confused till he remembered last night. He got up and went to get dress. Slightly curious about where Hawke was. He figured the larger man was probably downstairs at the bar. He finished equipping his armor and weapon. He then proceeded to leave the room. As he started to make his way to the stairs. He heard Varric call him into his suite. Fenris walked in giving a light yawn. "Good morning Broody. Killer, here was waiting for you to get up. Also Aveline is here." Varric said. Aveline was glaring at Hawke. She seemed upset with Hawke.

"You know very well what could have happened there! You should have gotten me, Hawke." Aveline said standing right in front of Hawke

"Fenris and I had everything under control, Aveline. I don't see you your so pissed. As long as the job was done. That is all that matters." Hawke shot back. Varric walked over to Fenris as both Aveline and Hawke continued to have a low volume argument.

"At least they're considerate of others. Anyway. What happened yesterday Broody?" Varric asked before he winced from Aveline and Hawke starting to get louder. "Keep it down you two! Don't want the whole bar to hear you guys." Hawke and Aveline glanced over to him but relented. "Shit Hawke didn't try to back hand me." Varric said stunned.

"Look can we hurry to the Compound. I am sure the Arishok is waiting." Fenris said pretty much ignoring everything else that happened. Hawke suddenly held his hand up to Aveline.

"Yes. We should relay the information to him now and be done with it. Come on Fenris." Hawke said making his way to the door.

"Excuse. But don't you think Varric and I should go as well." Aveline asked walking after him. A bit upset by his gesture earlier.

"Sure you can follow. I ain't going to fucking stop you." Hawke said before heading out the door and down the stairs.

Fenris looked at them before following Hawke. Varric just shrugged and hurried along with Aveline's pace. The four of them made their way from Lowtown towards the docks. The walk was rather quiet. Nothing of any real interest happened before they arrive. Hawke stopped in front of the compound and glared at one Qunari outside the place. "You. Qunari. Weren't you the one that insinuated I took out a patrol of your's?" He partly commanded. The Qunari turned to him and looked him over. He remained silent as Hawke walked up to him. Aveline and the others waited close by. "Well guess what. I found them on the Coast. Though they were already dead." Hawke said. The Qunari huffed in annoyment. "You have stolen my duty, Baasra. We were supplied for this task. But you have done this instead. Take what was meant for us." He said handing over a small pouch of coins. Along with a Great sword. He then returned to the compound. Hawke stared at the sword and handed it to Fenris. "You can have it." Hawke immediately walked towards the compound. Fenris reluctantly strapped it to his back along with his current weapon. A few minutes in and they were at the steps leading to the Arishok's stone chair. The Arishok sat patiently there and looked up. After a brief direct explanation from Hawke The Arishok sat forward.

"So. I was wrong about our thief." The Arishok said giving a slight sigh.

"Very..." Was all Hawke responded with.

"They say we were careless with our trap, that this is our fault. But even without the saar-qamek, there would have been death. This elf was determined to lay blame at our feet." After a brief paused he continued. "Selfishness, want, denial - how do you allow this to continue?"

"Most of this damned city fucking hates you just as much as you hate being here." Hawke droned. The Arishok shook his head.

"Since we arrived, I have seen nothing but greed and weakness. Dwarves, humans, elves - just... festering. No order, no goal. You are one of the few I have met with any ability. And yet this too was random, a result of selfishness. I cannot fathom how a mire like this can be justified. We are hated? How do you not hate yourselves and this... chaos?" The Arishok asked. Almost smiling as if in anticipation to what Hawke would say. He watched as Hawke gave a growl.

"It's a fucking disgrace. But that doesn't mean there is no potential to seize an opportunity." Hawke said rolling his shoulders.

"So it does disgust you. Yet you don't see that as a problem?"

"I see opportunity. And I will take full advantage of it."

The Arishok stood up then. He took a breath. "Karasten are soldiers. The Qun made it so. They can never vary from that assigned path, never be other tan they are ment to be. But they are free to choose within that role. To accept and succeed, or deny and die. Glory is clear and defined. It is an undeniable certainty. What 'Full advantage' can you take without that authority?" He asked stepping closer and giving him a glare.

Hawke just smiled. "To accept and succeed, or deny and die? Sounds like what I do on a daily basis. I accept to succeed. But that's beside the point. Did you perhaps come here to proselytize? To convert?"

This phrase ended up leading to Hawke and the Arishok arguing back and forth. Ending with the Arishok requesting them to leave. "He's ill at ease. The viscount should know." Fenris whispered as they left. Aveline glared at Hawke as they walked out of the compound while Varric was just writing away. "Makers breath Hawke. Did you really Have to start shit with the Arishok?" Aveline scolded. Hawke ignored her. Continuing to walk along making it up to the Lowtown area behind the tavern. Aveline had lectured him the entire way there but before she could say much more. One of her guards comes up requesting her presence. "Again? Alright." She says before turning to Hawke. "You better watch yourself, Hawke. I don't to have to put you back in jail." She warned before going off. Hawke remains quiet before speaking up. "I'll let the Viscount know later. I need to check on mother..." He says lowly before walking off. "You do that. Tell her I said Hi." Varric said as he made his way along with them till he went in the direction of the tavern entrance. Hawke gave a low yawn. Fenris continued to follow him. After his home was in Hightown as well. The walk through Lowtown was silent. The conversations of people they passed by was all Fenris could hear. He then started to wonder something. Recalling what happened the other day in the alley along the way. Wasn't Hawke's weapon of choice starting to break down? He wanted to look at it. But the axe was covered by Hawke's thick cascading hair. The pommel of the axe protruded from the thick unruly mass of hair at the top. and maybe a slight part of the blade itself from the side. But besides that. The weapon was mostly concealed. Fenris knew that Hawke's brute force was enough to propel that deadly blade through people. He could hardly imagine the agonizing pain it must bring to those who felt the broken jagged edges of that weapon bite into their flesh. It might also be a bit of a hinderance to Hawke. Having to use excessive amount of his energy to insure the blade does it's job. Fenris then began to remember all the things Hawke did for him. Maybe, just maybe. He could at least return the favor. Perhaps a brand new axe just for him? Fenris started to feel a bit giddy. It should be easy to pick out something for the larger man. It should also be easy to hand the gift over without feeling awkward. His chest tightened a bit. He wasn't use to giving someone a gift. He was quite sure he never has. As they came to Hightown, Fenris looked about the stalls in the market area. He knew Hawke prefered axes to anything else. He then saw at one of the stalls. A rather overly large axe with a golden casting. The blade's design. Was that of a hawk. It also appeared that no one even wanted the blade. Due to it oversizing the battle axes beside it. He turned to watch Hawke leave out of the area. But from what Fenris could tell. Was that Hawke stopped and seemed to be waiting for Fenris. The elf hurried his way over to Hawke. "Did something in the market catch your eye, Fenris?" He asked almost kindly. Which was odd for Hawke as he began walking forward once more. "Yes. But I lack the money to purchase it. I'm sure." Fenris said honestly. That axe looked expensive. It was probably overpriced. Hawke gave a hum as he continued walking. "Sell one of the swords I gave you. Also whatever that junk you picked up along the way from the Wounded Coast. Sure there is someone willing to buy that." Hawke said with a light hum. Truth be told Fenris had a habit of picking up tiny jewels that were buried in the sand at the Wounded Coast. Pieces of coral, tiger eye fragments, and a few other things among them. He had all sorts of random trinkets in his pouches. He liked collecting them. But, maybe Hawke was right. They could be worth something. "I'll see you later Hawke." Fenris said almost suddenly as him and Hawke stood before Hawke's estate. "I might be over at your place later." Hawke responded. With a nod he turned from Fenris and walked into the estate. Fenris went straight back to the market.

As the door closed behind him. Hawke was greeted by his mother who slightly worried. "I didn't get to see you much yesterday. But it is good your home now, darling." Leandra said. Hawke walked over to her. Being embraced by his mother. "I wanted to check on you, Mother." Hawke said lightly. "Do you need anything, Jake?" Leandra asked. Hawke shook his head. "No mother. I am fine." He said softly giving a sigh. "Are you going out later or staying home, Baby?" She asked. Hawke knew that his mother wanted to dote on him. It seems that she uses it as a bonding ritual for herself. He doesn't mind. In fact he enjoys it. His mother always doted on him. After all. He was the last one of her beloved children. He sighs as an unwanted feeling of loss showers over him. His mother notices. She reaches up to hold his face in her hands. "Are you sure you are okay, Jake? You know you can confide in me, Dear." She said making him lean forward. Pushing aside his long hair. Hawke closes his eye and simply lets out a sigh. "I... Am sorry for letting you down, Mother... I'm horrible son..." He said pulling out of her gentle hold. Moving past her towards the stairs. "Jake! Why would you say that? I can only be proud of you." She called after him. Getting him to stop midway up the stairs. "You say you are proud of me... But the heartbreak in your eyes tell me other wise, Mother. I have failed horribly to protect my younger siblings. Each time, you look at me like I am some sort of disgrace..." Hawke says turning towards her. His mother takes a deep breath. Leandra walks up the steps towards him. "Why must you hate yourself? You do all you can. You can't control the Maker's will. I know you struggle enough to provide for this family. But I think you being to hard on yourself, Jake." She said looking up at her son. "This family... What family? It is just you and I left, Mother. All because I failed to protect them..." Hawke said starting to twitch visibly. Running his hand up to the right side of his face. His gauntleted fingers beginning to dig underneath the twisted crown of an eye-patch. Leandra hurriedly grabbed his hand and forcibly pulled it away. Pulling him down in an attempt to make him sit down on the stairs. He does so reluctantly. She notices her son begin to cry. She pulls him close to her and hugs him gently. "Why does this always happen to you? I wish I knew what to do... Watching you tear yourself apart like this. Is far worse than anything else." Leandra whispered trying to hold back her own tears. Leandra could never understand her son's thought process. He was either always upset or entirely depressed. She nearly had enough of seeing him suffer by his own hands. She was a bit happy by the fact that he was almost over his alcoholic dependency. His mood slightly better but it just opened many other wounds upon his mind. Considering what happened to poor Bethany. Jake has been more torn apart than ever. She sighs deeply as she tries to remain in control of her emotions. Suddenly realizing the feel of something slick seep through the fabric of her clothing. She could only assume it was blood. It came from beneath his patch. She wondered in her mind if the blood was just tears. At times blood ran from his only good eye. Part of her was scared that someday she would lose him as well. Lose him to the terrifying and unknown condition that plagues him. Ever since what happened when he was a young boy. She wished there was something for her to do to cure him. Though all she could do was to make sure he never lost himself to the dark suicidal thoughts that haunted his mind.

She pulls away from him then. To see the blood drip down the right side of his face. His left eye closed. No more tears but a dried trail of where they fell. He seems to be waiting for her to let go of him. Just like every time it happens. He acts as if it never happened. She sighed and got up. "Come on now, love. Lets get you cleaned up." She spoke softly. As if talking to a child. His eye opened and simply stared at her. He got up and followed her to his own room. She got him to sit on the bed. Gathering the things she needed to clean him up. She knew he didn't need her to do this. But she wanted to do this. It was the only way for her to feel like she could treat him like the little boy he was to her. She made herself smile as she cleaned him up. She looked into his eye and stared. Seeing that he had completely put away his feelings about earlier. The light in his eye that showed his emotion was gone. His eye darkened beyond compare. His blue eye looking close to black. She remembered when his eyes were both bright like a beautiful stunning lake. But the right eye was forever lost in an ocean of crimson now. His left was like that of ocean raged with storms. She finished with her idle cleaning and turned her attention to the patch now. Cleaning it till the dull metal shined a bit. Turning towards him and fitting the rune back where it belonged. Making sure the gear was on properly. "There. Much better." She said with a gently smile. Silently thanking him for always allowing her to tend to him. She watched as his eye shifted to her shoulder. "Your dress is stained... Mother..." He said lowly. "It is fine, love. It is just a dress." Leandra said. Her son merely hummed before standing up. Seeming to nearly forget all about what happened earlier. Leandra decides to distract her son from his thoughts. "You know. I never thought I would ever be back in my old childhood home. Now owned by my child. I feel like an Amell again." She says. Jake looks down at her and watches as she leaves the room.

"You're a Hawke now Mother..." He said.

"I know that dear. And I am proud to be one."

"Mhm..."

"You know..." She started to say looking at him. "I sometimes think of remarrying." She said as she stopped in front of the fireplace down staring in the main hall.

Her son looked at her. "You should have what ever happiness you can find Mother. You deserve it."

"Thank you Darling. It's a nice thought that I can still be courted at this age. Speaking of that." She says smiling at him. "I noticed how close you and that elf are."

Hawke freezes and swallows.

"I admit he was strange when I first met him. But he is so well-mannered and respectful. I am glad you finally have a best friend. Now all you need is a wife." She said smiling brightly.

Getting Hawke to blush a light purple. "W-wife?! I-i don't have time for such frivolities." Hawke said huffing.

"Oh come now. You need a suitable wife that can handle your... well. Self. Mainly because I want grandchildren before I am dead and gone."

"M-mother..." Hawke backed up as his face began to burn.

"One of my friends has a daughter who is a bit younger than you. I think you and her will be perfect together! In fact. I think I am going to invite her over next week." Leandra said happily.

Hawke's face fell harshly. His teeth set in a fearful way as his face burned. "Maybe that is a bad idea Mother..."

"Oh hush. You need to start dating. After all. Your turned twenty-eight not long ago. You should have done been married and had children." She said in response.

"I am going to leave now Mother." Hawke said quickly turning from her and heading to the door.

"Do come back tonight!" Leandra said after him.

"Alright, Mother!" He called back as he hurried out the front door.

He quickly made his way through the fading light of the sun towards Fenris's home. Hopefully his blush would cease before her got there. His mother insists on finding a wife for him. It horrified him to no possible end. He, himself, just couldn't bring up the courage to tell her that he was not even remotely interested in women that way. In fact the very idea of laying with a woman disgusted him. He let out a low noise of disgust as he walked up the stairs. Without knocking, he barged into the mansion and swiftly walked up the steps to the second story. He kicked open the door to his friend's room. Causing the elven warrior to spring to his feet with his markings blazing and weapon drawn. When Fenris noticed it was Hawke. The markings on his body went out along with a heavy sigh from the elf himself. "Damn it Hawke. Don't do that!" Fenris barked as he set his sword down against the bench. "What has possessed you act belligerent this time?" The elf questioned. Hawke snorted. "Mother wants me wed!" Hawke shouted with an involuntary spasmed twitch to his face. Fenris shook his head and stared dead at Hawke. "She wants you to what..." He said slowly. His chest feeling tight as a burning sensation rose through him. Fenris couldn't quite place it but. He could have swore he was upset by this news. "Yes. She is already making plans to invite over this woman I don't even fucking know!" Hawke growled as he latched onto the spikes jutting from his hair. "The fuck am I suppose to do?" Hawke barked seemingly at no one.

"W-well. You don't want to get married... Do you?" Fenris questioned.

"Fuck marriage! The very idea is ridiculous!" Hawke growled with a sound of disgust.

"Then tell her you don't wish to do it."

"She told me hush. She is going to invite some girl over regardless of what I say..." Hawke groaned irritably.

"Well... Surely you can convince her other wise. Right?" Fenris said. The very idea of Hawke being with someone was. Distressing. To say the least.

"I highly doubt it. When Mother makes up her mind. There is no way to fucking change it."

"So that is where your decisiveness comes from." The elf commented.

"Yeah... You can say that." Hawke said rolling his eye.

Fenris remained quiet for a bit. He looked Hawke up and down. Hawke was disturbed by the whole dating idea with a strange woman. It made Fenris curious. Hawke has never showed something akin to embarrassment or shame before. Let alone any emotion that wasn't demented happiness or mindless rage. But those foreign things were written clear on Hawke's face. Even more so in his eye.

"Hawke... I have never been able to read you. But... You look..." Fenris started. Hawke snapped his attention to the elf.

"The fuck are you getting at Bastard Elf?" Hawke growled. What looked like a light blush came over the larger man's face.

"Are... Are you blushing?" Fenris asked in disbelief. Hawke got mad at this. Hawke cleared the distance between himself and the elf. Getting Fenris to jump from the sheer quickness that he moved. Though Fenris stood his ground against the larger man.

"Shut... Your. Fucking. Mouth." Hawke growled as he began breathing faster. Fenris swallowed as he looked up at Hawke.

They stood like that for a long time. In that time Fenris figured out why the whole idea of marrying or dating a woman bothered him. Fenris spoke up then. "You never been with a woman have you?" In that moment Fenris knew he must have crossed a line or two some where. Though the initial reaction Fenris accepted in his head didn't happen. In his mind the resulting action for this particular question was assault. However. Hawke reacted in a way that shocked Fenris. Hawke shuddered in sheer disgust as the very idea of being with a woman. Almost to a point that he had the urge to vomit. "Fuck no! And I never fucking will!" Hawke said with disgust. A clearly distressed look on his face. At this answer. Fenris felt excited to know this. Fenris finally got his answer that he had been dying to ask about Hawke but could never find the courage. Hawke was not attracted to woman. "If that is the case. They just tell your mother." Fenris said quickly with a bit of giddiness. Hawke gave him a glare. Making the elf settle down a bit. "Mother thinks I am into women. I never told her I was gay as fuck!" Hawke seemed to whine closing his eye. Did Hawke really whine? Either way. Fenris took a deep breath. He took a step closer to Hawke. He fidgeted a bit as Hawke had his eye closed. "Besides. I can't exactly tell her... It would probably break her heart. She wants grandkids. I can't give her that... Even if I did tell her. She would probably want proof. But no one else in this group of fucking weirdos is gay!" Hawke shouted. Fenris froze. "Shit... Well. Actualy Anders is bisexual. Though I wouldn't take him in such a way. The guy gets on my fucking nerves and I hate his damn ass!" Hawke growled. "Then. When I first met you. I thought you were like me. That you were gay. But no. That idea went out the window. You turned down every single advance and hint I gave you. You even rejected the most direct approach I could fucking think of to show I was interested in you... Well. Doesn't matter. Least I finally have a friend to confide in." Hawke huffed as he turned and walked away. Sitting heavily in one of the chairs. Fenris looked down to the ground. He couldn't talk. It wasn't his fault he was uncomfortable of being touched and flirted with. His chest felt tight once more. But this time with sadness. Hawke was a complex man to read. Fenris shuddered as a cold feeling spread through him. It felt like his world was falling down around him. He had a chance with Hawke. But he was too afraid to go after the large man. Too scared to respond in kind towards Hawke's advances. Because of that. Hawke had lost interest of pursuing him. Thus ultimately friendzoning him. Fenris inwardly cursed as he crossed his arms over his chest and kept his head down. He was an idiot. He was given a chance to have someone by his side. Someone who didn't care what was wrong with him. And he let it pass him by. But his feelings for the larger man wouldn't leave. If he truly wished for some sort of affection from Hawke. He needed to be work for it now. Though a thought came to him. He looked up and walked over to Hawke. Dropping his arms to his side. "Hawke. Would you continue to flirt with and tease me like you always have?" He asked trying to make it a normal question. Hawke gave a low laugh. "Why the fuck not? Teasing you is a fucking trill. But since you ain't gay...I ain't going to be grind against you. Even I know straight people hate other men doing such things to them. So you don't have anything to fret over." Hawke said in an odd attempt to calm Fenris. Fenris looked to the side and shifted back and forth. "I... You are free to touch me if you wish as you have done so in the past. Just. Not in front of people..." Fenris said blushing a bit. Trying to let Hawke know that he was in fact interested in him. "So like friends with benefits but without the kissing and fucking?" Hawke asked raising his brow. Fenris managed to hide the blush forming on his face." I-in a sense..." He said. _'Touch me however you wish. I won't complain. I hate the fact that I can't even bring myself to tell you how I actually feel...'_ Fenris thought to himself.

He stiffened as Hawke got up and walked towards him. Fenris immediately looked him in the eye. "If that is the case. Then I suggest we go back to the old arrangement. Shall we? After all. I oh so enjoy the way your blood tastes on my tongue." Hawke growled darkly. Fenris swallowed as he shivered from Hawke being so close. Feeling the sharp talons of Hawke's gauntlet dig harshly into his hair. Fenris merely closed his eyes as he head was forced to the side. His blush returned as he felt Hawke's breath on his neck. Stifling a groan that threatened to escape his mouth as he felt Hawke's teeth pierce his flesh. No matter how many times this happened in the past. He had always enjoyed it in a sick twisted way. And no matter how many times it will happen in the future. He was sure that he would never tire of this feeling. He made a small whimpering noise when Hawke bit down hard. He kept his eyes closed as if trying to imagine the feeling and put it to memory. Reaching up and grabbing hold of Hawke's wrist. He started to feel the effects of his blood being drained. As this happened he felt Hawke pull away gently. Fenris opened his eyes and looked at Hawke. Hawke was making direct eye contact. Just as the crimson liquid dripped from his mouth. His tongue snaking out to prevent it from falling. Fenris felt the disturbingly comfortable sensation that always came after Hawke pulled away. Once it was over Hawke hummed as he pulled Fenris along with him. The elf stumbling slightly. Hawke roughly dropped him into the chair Fenris always sat in. "I don't want you collapsing to the floor, Fenris." Hawke as he wiped his mouth. Hawke looked out the window as if checking the time. "It is getting late... I will leave once you recover." He said looking back at Fenris. Fenris held his neck and pulled his legs up into the chair. "B-before you l-leave. I got you s-something. From the market." Fenris said taking a breath. He weakly pointed towards his bed. "It. Is on the bed." He said shivering. Mostly from a sick sense of delight of what just happened. Hawke walked over towards the elf's bed. Seeing a large axe on the bed. "You got me an axe?" Hawke questioned. "Yes." Fenris forced himself to say. "Why?" Hawke responded. Fenris took another breath. "Because. The pathetic excuse of an executioner's blade upon you back is on the brick of breaking during battle." Fenris managed to say. Hawke let out a light laugh as he picked it up. "Well then. I gladly accept it." He said walking back towards the chair Fenris was in after picking up the cover as well. As he walked up beside the chair he dropped the cover onto the elf's head. "Gaah..." Fenris remarked as he slowly pulled the cover around his body. Looking at Hawke. "I never seen an axe with such a satisfying design. If I am to keep this. Then I need be rid of my current one. Since you bought this one for me. I shall give you my old one. Do what you will with it." Hawke says detaching the old one on his back. Setting it upon the wooden table in front of Fenris. Making it groan from the weight. "You can go home now if you wish to Hawke. I will be fine on my own." Fenris said giving a yawn. Pulling the cover tighter around him. Hawke looked at him and hummed. "I will be back tomorrow. After all. I wish to spend more time with you. You are one of the few in this group I enjoy being around." Hawke said before strapping the new axe to his back and making his way towards the door. "Hawke. By the way. The name of the blade is Alls-Fall." Fenris said sitting up a bit. "I will remember that. Goodnight." He said before leaving out of the room. And soon the entire mansion. Fenris sat back in the chair and sighed. He supposed that being Hawke's friend was better than not being able to know Hawke on this sort of level at all. He sighed as looked at the old axe. Slowly he fell asleep.

* * *

 _ **A/N The song Hate Me by Blue october been in my head all week.**_  
 _ **For some reason this reminds me of Hawke how he feels. The Feels!**_  
 _ **Also Hawke's actual Birthday is next Monday!**_

 _ **Side note. Wonder how Fenris is going to go about proving to Hawke that he is into him?**_


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44 Nightmare**

* * *

It was an early morning in Kirkwall as Hawke got up from his bed. The bed itself made noise as he sat forward. Even if it was made of stronger dark oak. It still made a groaning noise beneath Hawke's massive warrior body. He got up out of the bed and made his way to his room door. Wearing nothing but a loose pair of pants that went with a dark red robe. Though he abandoned the robe when it did not slide beneath the sheets like he wished. He gave a yawn as he made his way out of his room. Wishing to eat something before even bothering to get dressed. He paused as he heard a familiar voice. He sighed as he continued till he reached the railing underneath the chandelier. Gazing down to the guard captain. Who gawked openly at him. His thick mess of hair falling down to the front as he leaned on the railing. "Well. Looks like someone is comfortable. Maker's breath. The chest hair makes you look like a bear." Aveline commented. Hawke snorted a light laugh before standing up and making his way down. He wasn't really bothered by her looking at him. Though Aveline looked a bit flustered as she shook her head. "What do you need now, Aveline?" He asked walking down the stairs. "Well. If someone wanted to pass some work your way. You would..." She said trying to lead him into answering. "This better be good." Hawke growled. Aveline perked up a bit. "Yes, good - use that tone with him! Get him out of my hair. Remember Emeric? He wants your help and some sort of official sanction." She said. Hawke stopped in front of the desk with the letters and picked one up while she was talking. Growling a bit at the letter but stopping as he heard what she said. "Official sanction of what?" He questioned.

"For his 'investigation'. He's convinced that every random murder in the past few years is connected, and he won't be quiet."

"Did you check on his whatever?"

"One of my lieutenants did. He raided the Dupuis mansion. There was nothing there. You wouldn't believe how much ass I had to kiss after that. Bloody hobbyist constable..." She grumbled. Before sighing. "Why can't he spend his declining years building a boat or something?"

"What the fuck you think I can do that you, yourself can't? Hawke huffed crossing his arms.

"Giving your nature... Nevermind. I wouldn't say as much... Look. He keeps asking for you. Maybe just showing up will calm him down... Heh. If you showing up anywhere calms someone down. He's in the Gallows. See what he wants and if it leads somewhere real. I'll take it off your plate. Anything to shut him up... Thanks Hawke." She said turning around and walking to the front door.

Hawke shook his head and suddenly lost his appetite. He groaned loudly before heading back upstairs and putting his dark armor back on. Heading downstairs once again and picking up the pile of letters that were by his stuff. After all. He had a letter pile and his mother had one as well.

It was still morning in Kirkwall when Hawke stopped by Fenris's mansion. Carrying with him a stack of letters. Fenris looked at Hawke questioningly as he watched the larger man throw the letters onto the table. Fenris was well aware of what Hawke wanted. Considering he knew how to read now and Hawke didn't. Fenris was forever grateful of Leandra's patience with him. Though he secretly wished Hawke would have taught him. Maybe in another life it would have happened. While Fenris was reading the letters. Hawke was going off talking about Aveline. Who had shown up at his house that morning before he left. As Fenris listened to Hawke talk. He threw aside weirdly written letters that were not important. He called out to Hawke. The larger man walked over to him. "Alright so. Since you rather not have your servants nosing in on your business. I assume you wish for me to relay what these read to you?" He asked. Even though he already knew the answer. Hawke merely hummed. "Of course... Alright. You have a letter requiring you to meet some sort of 'new friend' at midnight two days from now. There isn't much to it. I would remain skeptical about it. But you are free to investigate as you wish. The next one is from that woman Arianni. This one is the most urgent. Seems she is unsure where else to turn. So she requesting your help again with Feynriel. Also seems like the woman can't stop thinking of you. Saying your 'kindness' kept the boy from being sold as a slave. Though now he is suffering from nightmares. Not sure how you are going to deal with this one..." Fenris says looking up at Hawke who was standing before him. "And the others Fenris?" Fenris looked at Hawke for a while before handing him the letters. "Most are letters of thanks from various people you helped over the years. Also some were... Well... Rather bothersome. There was also one that um..." Fenris closed his eyes blushing a bit almost laughing. Hawke growled. "What is it elf?" He growled. "Maker... If you could read it. It would just piss you off... Though I'll tell you what it is titled. It starts off by saying "Feeling Inadequate?" I am sure you can figure out the rest..." Fenris trialed off. Hawke growled figuring it out. "Let me guess. Male enhancement?" Hawke said with a straight face. Fenris covered his mouth and nodded. Almost laughing aloud. Hawke growled. "I don't need shit like that with what I'm packing. After all. My 'weapon' might be huge. But at least I know what to do with it." Hawke said picking up the letters and turning from Fenris. Who went a dark red in the face when he picked up that Hawke wasn't talking about his axe. The elf's mind began to wander to a dark and naughty part of his mind. Shaking his head as he stood up to take a breath. He looked at Hawke, who was waiting for him. "Let's deal with Feynriel first before anything else." Hawke said. "O-of course." Fenris responded grabbing his sword and hurrying after him.

They made their way through Hightown but took an alleyway. Fenris remembered this route. But the last time he was down here was years ago. Besides this path lead to a dead-end. Hawke stopped as they came to the end and turned to the side and moved a sheet of metal aside. "Get in there." He commanded. Fenris did what he was told and went in. He didn't even know that part moved. Maybe he should have examined the walls closer. This route took them directly to a small alleyway a little way off from the Hanged Man. They walked out of the alleyway and past a booth. Hawke paused for a moment before swiping something off the table. Fenris looked at Hawke questionably. He never saw Hawke do that before. He shrugged as they continued to the front of the tavern. Varric soon noticed them and hurried over. Behind him was Anders. Who wasn't too pleased to see either warrior to be honest. "Not now Varric. Feynriel's mother wishes to speak with me." Hawke said. "In that case. Imma follow you." Varric said latching onto Hawke's waist cape. Hawke glared at him but made no move to back hand the dwarf. Who smiled like an idiot. Anders stepped forward. He wanted to know if Feynriel was okay. Hawke didn't make a move to stop him at all. The four men made their way to the alienage.

Walking up to Arianni who stood by her door outside. She looked up and smiled brightly. "I was hoping you would come. You did so much for my Feynriel already, but... He refuses to see me, but I know he is chafing at the Circle's ways that keep the demons from him." she said. Anders huffed in annoyment and whispered. "Imagine that..." Getting Hawke to glare at him. Arianni didn't hear Anders. She continued to speak. "And now they've taken him! Two days ago, Feynriel went into a nightmare and hasn't returned." She said as her voice began wavering.

"I did some work for you. Though that doesn't make me your boy's best friend..." Hawke said.

"You may not think so, but I believe Feynriel does. Sir Thrask told me that Feynriel speaks of you with great respect. The Keeper says Feynriel's powers are a throwback to ancient magicks that once let elves shape the Fade. The only way to reach him is through his dreams... But there are demons...Trying to take him..." She said starting to cry.

"I do not fear demons..." Hawke droned. Arianni's face lit up.

"Keeper Marethari thinks an ancient Dalish ritual can help free Feynriel. But someone he trusts must enter the fade to guide him out. Are you willing to submit to her magic to save my son?" She asked almost pleading.

Hawke closed his eye as he growled darkly. "I hate the idea of being manipulated by magic... Though... If your son truly trusts me. Given that your boy can be a greater threat should a demon take hold of him... I will see to it that no demon makes him a mindless puppet." Hawke stated.

"I know his power makes him dangerous, but please... it's not Feynriel's fault. Be gentle with him." She pleaded. At this point Fenris walks beside Hawke and looks up at him.

"The Fade is a place for mages, not for people like you and I, Hawke." Fenris said.

"You'll need someone with experience in the Fade to come with you." Anders suddenly added. Almost as if agreeing with Fenris.

"I already called for the Keeper. We need to begin the ritual as quickly as possible. Would you like to stay her or return when she arrives?"

"Let's get this over with. The longer we wait. The more danger the boy will be in." Hawke droned rolling his eye. Seems he was beginning to tire with idle talk.

"You have been far kinder than I had any right to expect."

They didn't need to wait long for the Keeper to arrive. Though Hawke was still growing impatient. They all walk into Arianni's home and prepare the ritual. After a brief explanation of what Feynriel had. The Keeper asked Arianni to wait in the other room. Marethari looked to Hawke and explained the situation of what could become of Feynriel. After listening to what she had to say. They were almost ready for the ritual. She looked at him seriously before speaking.

"Now gather a team and we will begin. Choose carefully, for all will face temptation." Hawke looked back to the three men that followed him.

"I worry what a journey to the Fade might bring out in me..." Anders murmured.

"I have no desire to explore the Fade, but if you need me. I will go." Fenris said looking at Hawke.

"I admit... I'm a little fascinated." Varric said smiling.

"Let us begin." Marethari said.

Hawke nodded and they headed to a room. They all were asked to lay down and close their eyes. As the ritual began. They soon awoken in the Fade.

A harsh bright light enveloped everything. Hawke felt his body was far lighter. Looking around he saw the others. Though something was different with Anders. "I had not thought to return in such a way... It is good to feel the breath of the Fade again, not the empty air of your world." Anders said. His voice much deeper. Like it was resonating with another's voice.

"Anders... Yet... Not Anders. Justice. Correct?" Hawke said eyeing the man beside him. Anders looked at him.

"Correct. We must hurry. I feel Feynriel's mind straining." He said. Hawke hurried past the mage and the others.

"Just don't get to homesick, Justice. Let's move." Hawke commanded. Justice nodded and quickly followed after.

Hawke felt like someone was watching him. In the back of his mind he wondered if there was something following them. He shook his head slightly as he continued walking. A book suddenly whizzed past his head. He pulled back to look at the book flying around in the air. It came back around him and he struck it down with the back of his hand. For some reason it came back to him and remained in his way. Reaching out to move it aside. The moment he touched it. It disappeared. His being felt stronger somehow. He sighed as he rolled his shoulders and continued forward. They came down a set of stairs that were far too bright for Hawke's liking. As him and his companions stopped at the bottom in a small courtyard like place. He soon turned towards cage like bars. A dark shadow encompassed it. From the darkness a shade slinked its way towards them. Justice went on the offensive. "A demon of sloth. Do not relax around it. Stay vigilant and think active thoughts!" Justice said as the demon stopped before them. The demon stopped before Hawke. "I know you... Such an old forgotten magic. Way beyond memory. Yet you are no mage. Though you seem similar to the boy. Such a rare chance to see two forgotten magicks in the same place." The demon said letting out a yawn. Hawke growled out at it. What was this demon talking about? "Keep your distance demon." He growled. The demon sighed. "Such hostility to the first children of the Maker. Please. Call me Torpor. I must admit. Having the ability to talk to you. Is just so pleasing." Torpor said moving closer.

"Fuck off, demon."

"Always so harsh. I have a proposition for you. You will greatly benefit. It will ease your pain. Just let me posses the boy."

"How about no." Hawke huffed.

"I really do not wish to fight you. Too much effort. Though I will have you know two more demons intend to do worse than I. All I want is to see the world and lie in fields of real grass. Ah but again. I will not fight you."

"Then get the fuck out of my way demon."

"What ever you say. I could use the sleep." Torpor yawned as it turned around and slunk its way off a bit. Before it turned to them again. "As I said. I will not fight you. But I want that boy. So I will have my associates fight you instead." With that being said. Several other shades appear and began their assault. It did not last long as the four men dispatch the demons. Hawke making his way toward Torpor and cutting through it. "You and that child will always suffer from your nightmares..." It said as it faded.

Justice looked at Hawke and tilted his head. "What did that demon mean? It said it knew you." Justice questioned. Anders seems to talk in tune with Justice. "How does it know you?" They asked.

"Not sure nor do I care. Lets get going. This place is a fucking maze." Hawke growled.

They wandered around looking for the boy. They came across a few puzzles that was easy for Hawke to figure out. Everytime he did figure one out. A new way opened. Soon though they walked into a strange scene. Hawke looked himself over. Turning to see his comrades disappear. He saw Feynriel and Vincento. He, himself, looked like Arianni. He immediately knew that a demon was using a fake memory to gain the boy's trust. He growled. The boy asked him if he could go with his father. Hawke told the boy that his Father was never there for him. The boy looked confused. Hawke continued as he stepped closer. Telling Feynriel that the man beside him was not his father. The boy seemed to figure it out. "You were never there for me. It was just my mom. You never wanted anything to do with me. Who are you!?" Feynriel cried out before running off. That part of him vanished. The man who looked like his father began turning into a lust demon. Then the illusion fell away. "You. You turned him against me! I, Caress, was so close to taking him. Why did you interfere?" She said stalking towards Hawke. As the other three men appeared. "I don't want that boy becoming an abomination." Hawke growled.

Caress looked at Hawke and the others. She searched quickly through them to see if any of them had any desires. She needed to bring the situation back under her control. Then she spotted it. She focused her gaze on Hawke. The way he held himself. The way his fingers twitched. He desired something that the others didn't. He was full of desires. The want of his family back. His friends. The need to have the pain simply go away. She smiled wickedly as she stalked to the large man. Hawke stood his ground. "Tell me. Why do you come into the fade to aid a child you care nothing for?" She whispered. Hawke snorted. "It's my job." Caress laughed. "Really? You are not being paid for this task. Yet you do it anyway." Hawke was about to say something but it died on his tongue. Fenris, Varric, and Anders/Justice looked at him. Caress walked a bit closer as she ran her hand across her bare chest. "You know. Jake. I sense your suffering. How much you want your family back. Your friends from so long ago. The **desire** to rid yourself of the agonizing pain." She cooed. The others froze a bit as they heard the demoness call Hawke by his first name. Varric inched his way towards Hawke. "Don't listen to her, Hawke." Varric warned. "Be silent dwarf. Your leader can choose on his own. So tell me how I can ease the pain." She whispered pressing up against Hawke. Fenris grew still as he let off a low growl while Hawke answered her. "I... Have many. Many. Desires. Pain is just one of them... What exactly could you offer me?" He said with a snarl as his hand came across Caress' side. Anders/Justice spoke up then. "Hawke..." Caress giggled as she laid her hand gently on Hawke's face. "I could offer you anything you desire. I can take the pain away. I just need one thing in return." She purred as Hawke wrapped his other arm around her waist holding her in place. Fenris's marking started to light up at this point. Hawke wasn't about to let a demon seduce him. Was he? Hawke's eye went dark as a sick smile spread across his face suddenly. A low disturbing laugh came from him as he bared his teeth at the demon. The next thing that happened shocked everyone as Caress let out a scream. "All I desire is your blood." Hawke's clawed gauntlet dug into Caress's chest as she struggled to get away. She let out another scream as her body was being torn apart from the inside out. Hawke's large hand snapping the ribs. Her next scream died halfway through as her chest cavity was torn asunder from the sharp jagged tips of Hawke's gauntlet. His other hand digging into her spine and back. Blood starting to spill to the floor as he clawed at the base of her back. His left hand reaching further into her chest. Grabbing hold of the back of her rib cage. His right hand latched onto her spine. He jerked harshly. A loud snap was heard. Hawke let out a laugh as he slowly ripped her body in two. Blood spilt onto the floor. He roughly discarded her body to the floor. It landed with a sick thump. Hawke's gauntlets and arms were covered in the demoness' blood. Caress's spine was severed and there was a gaping hole beneath her breast. Hawke turned around and walked past three stunned viewers. "Move." Was all he said. Varric, Anders, and Fenris stared at the demon's body. It was completely lifeless.

The others were silent as they walked from the scene behind Hawke. It just proved more that Hawke's mind could suddenly change for the worse. They thanked the Maker that they were on his side. They continued through the maze of rooms. Finally. They came to another room with Feynriel present. Again like the last on. There was an illusion. This time the Dalish clan. Hawke looked like some elven mage. He was slightly irked by this. He never saw anyone like this before. He looked up to the fake Keeper. The spoke of him being the one the clan needed. Wanting him to accept his destiny. Hawke walked forward. "First enchanter?" Feynriel said. "What are you doing here?" Hawke proceeded to tell Feynriel to deny being the chosen one. To reject his destiny. Again the boy was confused. The Fake Keeper tried to talk to the boy. To reassure him as a dreamer. Hawke continued with speaking of how demons deceive people. Feynriel looked squarely at the fake keeper. "The Dalish doesn't have a circle. The Circle themselves warned me about these things. About demons. You aren't the keeper. Your just a demon! I won't let you take over!" He said before disappearing as the fake keeper reached out to him. "You! You ruined everything!" The keeper said transforming into a large pride demon. "With his power join to me. Wryme! The world would have been mine! His power would have changed the world!" The Demon Wryme said. Hawke turned into himself as the illusion was dispelled. The others there again. "That boy would had just been a slave to you." Hawke said with a rough growl. "Oh? Well then. How about I offer the same deal to one of your friends. Beside. How loyal are these followers you drag into the Fade?" The demon questioned stepping closer to him. The demon looked among the three others. She focused her gaze on Fenris and laughed. "Do you think this slave you choose you over his freedom?" She said. Getting Fenris to snarl.

"Cast you gaze elsewhere demon. I won my freedom from the magisters long ago."

"But you fear them still. They have left their marks on your body and your mind."

Fenris froze as he took a deep breath. He remained like that as if giving it some serious thought. Hawke was growling hostile once more.

Hawke growled. "You even raise your sword against me and you die, Bastard Elf." Fenris turned to look up at the larger man. His eyes widen slightly. Part of him was outraged for some reason. But he knew Hawke always made threats like this. Always called him that. Why did this enrage him?

"Is this how your close friend treats you? With such violence and hate? He is no different than a magister. He would enslave you just like your other master. He would have you bound once again." Wryme said as she managed to manipulate Fenris to reach for his sword. Fenris couldn't quite control his body. Something was terribly wrong!

"I dare you, elf." Hawke warned dangerously. A look of disappointment and rage written in his eye.

" I have faced far worse than you." Fenris spat without realizing. He would have gasped from such an outburst. Why was he doing this!? Against Hawke even! Fenris tried to resisted but it was to no avail.

"All I need is a moment of your time." The demon whispered. Fenris's eyes widened suddenly as he could no longer attempt to gain control of his body. He pulled the sword from his back and swung at Hawke. Though Hawke was five steps ahead. Hawke merely grabbed the blade of the sword and jerked it from the elf's hands. Fenris couldn't stop himself from lashing out at Hawke without the weapon. The larger man swung his left fist right into Fenris's stomach. Making him lose his breath. As he doubled over. He felt Hawke's hand upon his neck. The other upon the top of his head. "I warned you. Fenris." Hawke growled. Hawke's sharp gauntlet dug into Fenris's neck. Fenris could hardly breathe. Everything moved so slowly. The sudden pain that shot through Fenris as he felt his head being ripped from his body. Hawke twisted and jerked his hands sideways as Fenris's body erupted into smoke and vanished. Anders/Justice and Varric cringed as they saw Hawke pull his axe.

Fenris jolted awake in a scream. frantically grabbing at his neck and head. He shivered as a chill ran down his spine. How... How could he have turned on Hawke? The way Hawke attacked him. Fenris felt light-headed as he started to hyperventilate. He saw the way Hawke looked at him. He knew that Hawke would hold this against him. Still even if it was in the Fade. The agonizing pain was forever burned into his mind. He could still feel the low prodding pain that remained in his chest and neck. The keeper and Arianni looked over to him. Arianni felt bad for him. The poor lad screamed in utter terror when he awoke. The keeper shook her head. The boy must have fell to the temptation of a demon and the others rejected him from the Fade. After a few minutes. The others woke up. Hawke told the Keeper and Arianni that Feynriel was safe. And that he could now control himself. Hawke was given a book. The keeper told him that Fenris was fine. Hawke cut her off shortly. Fenris tried to say something when he saw Hawke. The larger man gave him a withering look of pure disgust and disappointment. Hawke ignored him and left out. Varric and Anders gave a glance at Fenris.

They soon left. Fenris could not rid himself of the chill that ran rampant throughout his body. Hawke wouldn't even give him the time of day. Hawke refused to even be near him. It hurt Fenris to a point of devastation. Fenris was left to walk home on his own. He kept replaying what happened in his head over and over. He crossed his arms as he walked through the fading light of Hightown. At one point he ran into Aveline, who was on patrol. She tried to speak with him but he didn't wish to talk to her. She seemed to understand and left him alone. He enter his home and made it to his room. Closing the door and leaning against it heavily. Slowly sliding to the floor. What he couldn't keep from saying the rest of the night was. "How could I let a demon take control of me..." His sleep was terrorized by a horrific dream where Hawke decapitated him again with his bare hands. Just like what happened in the Fade with the demon. Leaving Fenris with little to no sleep.

* * *

 **A/N Having to deal with Fenris in the Fade is by far the most difficult battle ever.  
He always kills me unless Hawke manages to use Blood Frenzy and Devour leaving Fenris dazed before he gets the Axe.  
** **Having that elf at a high power before entering this quest is hellish. He can knock out your entire team with a single hit...**

 **Anyway. Will Fenris manage to get Hawke to accept forgiveness?  
Or will Hawke remained pissed off at the Bastard Elf?**


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45 Corruption**

* * *

A week has passed by since what happened in the Fade. Hawke was still furious about what happened. He trusted Fenris. And yet that damn Branded Bastard turned on him. How hypocritical of that Elf. To lecture and warn him about demons and the like. To be so against it publicly. And yet when offered the chance to be on par with a magistrate. He willingly let it take over his mind and body. Hawke resisted the urge to tear that bastard's head off in reality. He refused to even look at the elf. He refused to speak with him and see him after what happened. Fenris had tried to see him. But Hawke refused to answer. Hawke was not one to forget a wrong doing. During the whole week of avoiding that elf. He had visited Varric and Isabela. Even had let the Viscount know about what happened the day before about what happened in the alley. The Viscount said he would call on Hawke should something else arise. Hawke spent the next day just sitting at home with his mother. Then early in the morning. He had left out of his mansion after wishing his mother well and headed to Lowtown. Namely to check on another elf that insisted on following him. Passing by the elves that were out sitting by the large tree in the center of the alienage. He ignored their looks of curiosity as he entered Merrill's house.

Hawke walked in and looked around. Merrill came out of a side room and waved at him to come see. Hawke sighed and followed the small petite woman into the other room. Namely. Her bedroom. Merrill tried to calm down. After all. Hawke was standing right behind her. She felt giddy considering she was alone with him. She turned to him and showed him the mirror she had. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" She said. Hawke gave the thing a once over. "You more than it." He said dully. Though it sounded like he was saying she was prettier than the mirror. "Oh, you're too kind! Is... it warm in here? Stop babbling, Merrill..." She said turning away. Trying to calm herself. She knew Hawke didn't alway make comments like that. She didn't know if he ment it or not. But it made her feel like butterflies where in her stomach. She took a breath and continued. "I've spent the last few years restoring this. One of my clan found it in the Brecilian Forest, we think. Poor Tamlen. We never found him. Just the shattered pieces of the eluvian." She said taking a moment to breathe. Hawke began asking a few questions. Seemed he was genuinely interested in it. Merrill was all to happy to explain it to him. After explaining it Hawke crossed his arms and glared down at her. "Tell me you didn't bring the killer mirror to Kirkwall just because it's pretty." Hawke said sardonically. Merrill was sure he was mad. But at the same time it sounded like he didn't care. "It's not dangerous I promise! I fixed it. Or tried to. With blood magic. The mirror won't hurt anyone." She said as Hawke's face transitioned from 'no fucks given' to 'you got to fucking kidding'. She shrunk back from him. "But... it doesn't work. I've tried everything, and I think it's because it needs to be finished with a special tool." She said looking up at him with the most cutest face she can manage. Having once seen Hawke's sister do it. She prayed to the Creators that Hawke would help. He just has to help. Everyone would listen to him and not question his motives. She continued to speak. "An arulin'holm. And my clan has one. It's been in their hands for generations... " Hawke uncrossed his arms and quickly said. "Go talk to the Keeper, then." Merrill looked down. "I just can't! You have no idea. The Keeper... I can't talk to her. We fight or talk circles around each other. She has a disappointed frown that turns your bones to jelly! Please help me? You will, won't you?" She said hopping up to him. Hawke glared down at her before sighing heavily. "Ugh... Fine." He growled. Her face lit up and she jumped excitedly. "Ma serannas! I'll find some way to repay you, I promise!" She said with a smile. She couldn't believe that Hawke was going to help her! "Come on. We will do it now. If we hurry. We can make it there in a day and half." He said turning around quickly. His cape flipping into the air along with his long hair. Merrill hurried after him and grabbed onto his cape. He stopped and looked at her. She merely looked up at him. He growled and continued with her clinging to his waist cape. She seemed overly happy. "We just need to pick someone up." He said. Merrill nodded and started to hum happily.

Meanwhile with Fenris.

Fenris has counted a week that had went by since the Fade. Fenris has yet to see Hawke. And every time he attempted to visit the man. Hawke was never home or he refused to talk to him. Fenris was distressed. Knowing full well that he had the larger man's trust. Only to ruin it by falling for a demon's temptation. Fenris sat in front of the fire-place in his room. Just staring at the burning embers as the fire was slowly dieing out. He slightly wondered if Hawke was taking care of other things at the moment. Fenris couldn't even think properly with Isabela perched in his chair talking up a storm. He ignored her for the most part. Her along with Varric and Aveline showed up to check on him. He wished to be left alone in silence but Isabela would not grant him that. "-then he walked off saying women were harlots trying to steal his life essence." She laughed. Fenris rolled his eyes. Sometimes Isabela was just down right annoying. Till he heard her say, "Then Hawke came up to me. We started talking about the relic I was looking for. He didn't seem to interested in it though." She started. Fenris began listening to her closely. "He made a weird creepy joke. At least I think he was making a jest. Either way. After talking he handed me a small model ship in a bottle!" She said almost making a girly giggle. Fenris sat upright then. Hawke gave Isabela a gift? Really? Even if Hawke was gay. Fenris couldn't help but feel jealous of her. "I don't know about you Fenris. But I really think Hawke likes me. If he didn't he wouldn't have given me a gift. It just isn't like him. Oh do you think he wants me?" She said sitting upright with a devious smile on her face. A story already in the process of being written in her head as she gave a hum. "I doubt it." Fenris spat almost angrily. "Oh. What got you mad this time?" She said getting up and strutting over to him. She leaned over his shoulder with her mouth close to his ear. "Are you feeling frustrated? I could help you relax." She whispered into his ear. Getting Fenris to blush and bolt from his seat. He wished his ears weren't so sensitive like that. An unwelcomed chill went down his spine. Isabela laughed at him. "Oh come off it Fenris. I'm just teasing you. Or am I?" She purred with the same devious little smile on her face. "Just knock it off! Alright." Fenris growled at her. "Don't touch me. Just. Keep your distance." He warned. "Oh I know what it is. This is about what happened in the Fade with Feynriel. Isn't it? Varric said what happened." She said standing up and placing her hands on her hips. Fenris grew still as he glared at her.

"Something about you jumping into the waiting arms of a demon that seduced you or something." She said.

"That isn't what happened." Fenris went on the defensive.

"Then what did happen, hm?" She began leaning her hands on the bench Fenris was previously sitting on.

Fenris looked away and remained quiet. Isabela sighed.

"Was it really that bad? Besides. Varric nor Anders would tell me much, other than you were tempted by a demon."

"Maybe it is best to leave it at that." He said with a heavy sigh.

Isabela pouted and stood up. Crossing her arms under her chest. Effectively pushing them up. She then turned her head to the door of the room. "I might as well leave. You are just boring when you're like this." She said heading to the door. Only to jump back when the door was kicked open. "Ack!" Isabela brushed herself off as she looked at Hawke. The man seemed pissed off. Immensely so. Fenris got up and looked at him. He noticed Merrill holding on to Hawke's cape. She stood extremely close to him. "Both of you wait in the other room. I need to talk with this Branded Bastard." Hawke said. Isabela darted out of the room after grabbing Merrill's hand. Hawke then slammed the door closed. Fenris looked up at the larger man. As Hawke stalked his way further into the room. Fenris took a deep breath.

"Hawke... I have been thinking about what happened in the Fade. That a demon could have played so easily on my fears... Disturbs me... I failed you. I won't let that happen again." He said standing up straighter and looking Hawke in the eye. The larger man growled before responding.

"I have to admit... I was surprised. But also pissed." Hawke said.

"What happened. It still bothers me. I had let you down. I know you trust me. And I know I don't deserve that trust. I find it simply confusing. Considering I was so easily tempted. Yet none of the demons could even tempt you. Does that make me far weaker than you? Are my fears much stronger than yours? Or do you have no fear what so ever?" Fenris said looking down from Hawke. "They tempted you with the same thing. To be rid of the pain... I... Don't understand..." He said trailing off.

He heard Hawke give a light growl. "The demons know of what I am. They could sense that I was a Reaver. Pain and suffering are common to me. Simply mundane. There are never honest deals with demons. No matter what. But to say that I have no fears. That is wrong. I have fears just like everyone else. I simply refuse to acknowledge them. And if you wonder how those demons could not tempt me. It is because no force on this earth or in the Fade could ever bring me such peace in life. Death is far more an attractive idea than any deal a demon offers." Hawke says slowly. "Now enough dwelling on the past. My rage has relented enough not to wish for your untimely demise." Hawke said with a deep warning tone.

Fenris swallowed. "I had no idea that is what happened." He said taking a step back.

"Truly. Which is the reason I refused to see you for a week." Hawke admitted.

"I know you to be a dangerously violent man. Though. I never imagined you would wish to fatally harm me..."

"I still can. Should my rage get the best of me. Wether I mean it or not. I could kill you. If I wish. But I find the idea of your presence being gone from this world... Depressing. Now we have something to do." Hawke said turning from him and walking towards the door.

Fenris shook as he took a breath. Trying to understand what Hawke's last words ment. After all. Hawke admitted that he wished to cause harm. But restrained himself from acting on it. Simply because Hawke didn't wish to harm him. It made Fenris feel much better. Though now Fenris felt like he needed to work harder to prove that Hawke's trust is not misplaced. Even with the idea of Hawke wishing to do him damage. He still felt safe around the larger man. Though Hawke is right. Fenris should not let his guard down so easily around Hawke. He follows after Hawke to see Isabela still there along with Merrill. The group soon leaves to head off to Sundermount.

A few hours later as the group made their way up the base of Sundermount. Hawke paused. Sniffing at the air for some reason. He stopped suddenly and started reaching for his axe. The others looked at him curiously. Till they heard some one call out. "Stop right there! You are in possession of stolen property! Back away from the slave and you'll be spared." The man on a small cliff above yelled. Hawke started laughing then. "What's so funny?!" The man shouted at him. "Come down here and try to take him." Hawke said looking up. A sick twisted smile on his face as he pulled free his axe. Swinging it at the base of the small cliff. The sheer force he put behind it cause a crack to run up the small cliff's rocky facing. Making the man who yelled down at them tumble off the edge. Right towards Hawke. The other slavers took off towards the foursome. Some were thrown back by Merrill's attacks. Isabela dove into the shadows and attacked from there. As Fenris pulled his sword free to attack as well. Those who got near Hawke met a bloody end. Some endured far worse from the large man. Isabela toyed with some ultimately confusing them while Fenris and Merrill went through them. Merrill tried to stay as close to Hawke as possible. If she was to get overwhelmed. Then Hawke would take them out as long as she shouted at him and ducked to the ground. The fight wasn't long. It never did last long with Hawke's strength. After it was over. Fenris looked around and noticed one man who was a good distance away from his fallen comrades. The man was lucky to not be seen by Hawke. Who was currently ending the lives of those who managed to survive. Fenris hurried over to him and grabbed the back of the man's head. He angrily started to interrogate the man. Asking where Danarius was. The man told Fenris that a woman named Hadriana brought them. The mage begged for his life but Fenris had what he wanted. Fenris snapped the man's neck in one go. Hawke seemed to hum in approval. Fenris stood up and turned towards them. "Hadriana... I was a fool to think I was free. They'll never let me be!" Fenris shouted. "Then we go after them. Now." Hawke growled as he licked at his jagged teeth. "Fenris gave a quick explanation of where the holding caves where.

Traveling to Merrill's clan on Sundermount had to be put on hold for the moment as the group hurriedly made their way to the holding caves. Fenris knew where they were located. As they came upon the entrance. Hawke saw more slavers about. He gave a wicked smile as he set off towards them. Throwing caution to the wind. With Hawke's strength and growing blood lust. The slavers were hardly a match to the group. Fenris gave Hawke a wary look. Even after going against Hawke in the Fade. Hawke was still willing to fight to keep him protected. It made Fenris feel a lot better. Better than he ever felt before. They continued as Fenris gave them a brief warning on what to expect inside the cavern. He hoped to the Maker that it wasn't a waste of time. Even though their were slavers to feed Hawke's growing lust for killing. It didn't mean the larger man would enjoy a detour if there was no goal. They walked into the cave. The place was similar to the beginning of a maze. Hawke huffed irritably as he stormed through kicking open the doors that were tightly closed. They even came across a place where a man's body lay upon what looked like an altar. His body fully drained of blood. "See for yourself. the legacy of the magisters." Fenris spouted. Merrill looked shocked as she backed up next to Isabela. "They... Sacrifice the unwilling?" She whispered. "Is that so hard to believe? You're only a step away from it, yourself." Fenris growled directing his attention to Merrill. "That's not true..." She murmured as she held onto to Isabela's arm. The pirate turned to hold Merrill. Glaring daggers at Fenris. "Believe what you like. In my experience mages always find a way to justify their need for power." Fenris said with a low growl walking past Hawke. Hawke followed after along with the two women. They made their way further into the slave den. Some slavers they encountered set off traps of fire. Hawke went through the flames without much care for getting burned. His powerful form able to propel him quickly through the fire upon the ones who set to ambush them. Possibly a truly harrowing site for the slavers to see before they died. But to say that Merrill nor Isabela fought with less vigor was an understatement. The two women were fighting just as harshly as Hawke. Merrill remained close to Hawke. Finding comfort from being so close to him. After all. She knew Hawke would not let anyone hurt her or the others and allow them to get away with it. Due to Hawke's power. Most of the enemies sought to deal with him first. He was a worse threat to the enemies than the others were. The slavers were right to target Hawke. But even their numbers couldn't overwhelm him. After sorting through several enemies in several chambers of the cavern. They came to one room that had an elven woman cowering in the midst of a group of slavers. The group handled the slavers post-haste. After dealing with the enemies. The slave girl ran up to them. Fenris met her first but refrained from touching her. "Are you hurt? Did they touch you?" He asked with concern. "They been killing everyone! They cut up papa, bled him..." She said. Fenris then began to think. There were bodies of slaves that where already dead. Sure the slavers wouldn't do something as kill every one of them. Would they?

"Why? Why would they do this?" Fenris asked. Almost questioning the air around him.

"These poor people. This is... ghastly" Merrill began to cry.

"The magister... She said she needed power, that someone was coming to kill her." She said trying to hold back tears. Fenris looked down towards the ground and remained silent as she continued to speak.  
"We tried to be good! We did everything we were told! She loved papa's soup. I don't understand..."

"You are nothing to them. Just a slave. Property to be used as they see fit." Hawke suddenly said. Getting the woman to jump.

"Everything was fine until today!" She shot back.

"It wasn't. You just didn't know any better." Fenris said softly. Feeling sorry for the woman.

"Are you my master now?" She asked walking up to him hopefully. Fenris reeled back as if he was struck.

"NO!" He shouted with a tone mortification in his voice.

"But... I can cook. I can clean! What else will I do?" She said suddenly becoming afraid. Hawke took a step towards her. Fenris snapped his attention to Hawke.

"Go to Hightown. Ask where the Hawke estate is. You will be kept there." Hawke said.

"Yes? Oh, Praise the Maker! Thank You!" She said delightedly before taking off. Fenris glared at Hawke.

Hawke returned the glare full force. "I didn't realize you were in the market for a slave." Fenris growled.

Hawke in response smacked Fenris up the backside of his head causing him to stagger. "Don't throw an accusation like that my way Bastard Elf. I gave that girl a job. As well as a home. She will not work as a slave. For you to think me to be some sort of slaver runner... Next time mind your tongue." Hawke said taking a step forward. Fenris held the back of his head.

"R-right...Then...That's.. Good. My apologies... But did you have to hit me upside the head?" Fenris asked with a hiss.

"Yes. I can't let you back talk me every time. Then everyone else will think they can challenge my lead." Hawke said noticing something shine on the ground and picking it up. He then continued forward.

"I don't want to challenge Hawke..." Merrill said. "Me either." Isabela chimed in. The three quickly followed after Hawke.

"Let us find that magistrate and be done with this place, Elf." Hawke said walking through the door leading out of the room. Fenris nodded and responded, "Agreed."

It did not take them long to go through the rest of the chambers to meet with Hadriana.

"You made a terrible mistake coming here, Slave!" She yelled. To which Fenris responded, "Not as much as you have, Witch!"

With that. Hadriana summoned several demons and skeletons to fight alongside her. Hawke made his way towards her and swung his axe at her. Only for her to pull up a protective barrier that he could not get through. This sent Hawke into a rage. Hadriana's eyes widened when she saw what Hawke did to some of the shades fighting against him. The way the blood swirled about him when he was cut. "No... Is he a... Reaver? Shit!" Hadriana shouted as she used her magic to warp away from Hawke. Fenris noticed how shocked the bitch was. Fenris knew that if Hawke could attack her enough it would cause the barrier to go down. Then Fenris would have his chance to attack. He saw how Merrill and Isabela worked together to rid some of the monsters that surrounded Hawke. The large man himself was having a blast tearing into the creatures. Though Hawke's eye kept fixating on Hadriana. Hawke's mind was switched to nothing but blood lust. That man just wanted to murder at this point in time. Using Hawke's lust for blood to aid him. Fenris cut down several shades to open up a path towards Hadriana. Fenris figured he allow Hawke to weaken her magic abilities. Then go in for the kill himself.

The plan worked exactly to Fenris's liking. Hadriana couldn't hold her magic up to Hawke's attacks and had to dispel the shield to get away. Fenris judged how she would warp from Hawke. And put him self right where she would go. Far away from the Hawke and the others. He waited for Hadriana to disappear into a nothingness and made his way to where he hoped she would appear. The moment she appeared. Fenris swung up towards her. Knocking the mage back hard against the stone. Hadriana tried to reach for her staff but Fenris blocked her path. Raising his sword to finish her. iI a panicked state Hadriana shouted, "Stop! You do not want me dead."

Fenris huffed. "There is only one person I want dead more."

"I have information, elf, and I will trade it in return for my life." She said. She gasped as she say Hawke come towards her. His body gave a sudden jerk as he ran his hand beneath his eye-patch.

"The location of Danarius? What good will that do me? I'd rather he lose his pet pupil."

"You have a sister. She is alive."

Fenris froze and lowered his sword. Hawke gave a dangerous growl stepping forward. "Elf..." Hawke growled. Fenris ignored the larger man. Merrill and Isabela were silent and didn't say anything. It wasn't their place to say anything.

"You wish to reclaim your life? Let me go, and I will tell you where she is." Hadriana said getting to her knees. Fenris wasn't sure what to do. That's when he heard Hawke speak. "She... Could be lying. But that is a decision you, yourself, should make, Fenris." Hawke said. Fenris took a breath. Hawke was usually always right. Fenris couldn't be sure that Hadriana was lying. But Hawke was definitely right. It was up to Fenris to decide. He put his sword away and walked up to Hadriana. Leaning over her so he was even with her face.

"So I have your word? I will tell you, and you let me go?" she asked.

"Yes... You have my word." He said.

"Her name is Varania. She is in Qarinus serving a magister by the name of Ahriman."

"A servant. Not a slave."

"She's not a slave."

"I believe you." Fenris said. In that moment his marking came to life as his hand plunged into the magister's chest. She let out a scream that died halfway on her lips. As Fenris tore her heart from her chest. Letting her body fall to the cold stone. He stood up holding her heart within his hand. Walking past Hawke and shoving it to the larger man. Hawke held the heart and watched as it quit beating. He smiled as he watched the blood drip to the floor. "We are done here." Fenris said. Wanting nothing more than to leave. "So. Do you truly believe her?" Hawke asked. Putting the mage's heart into an unseen pocket along his waist. "Oc course I don't believe her! But. I can not help but believe!" Fenris shouted. Storming over to the larger man. Hawke found this display of anger to be most amusing. "It could be a trap! Danarius could have sent Hadriana here to tell about this 'Sister'. Even if he didn't, trying to find her would be suicide! Danarius has to know about her and has to know that Hadriana knows." He said losing some of his rage ad he looked to the ground. "But all that matters is I finally got to crush this bitch's heart. May she rot and all the other mages with her." Fenris spat. Merrill looked hurt but didn't say anything. In that moment Hawke closed his eye. Without really realizing. He reached out. The tips of his gauntlet brushing against the side of Fenris's arm. Isabela and Merrill were to far away to really see. Nor were they facing the two men. "Then let's leave this pit." Hawke said. Fenris jolted as he felt Hawke's hand settle gently onto his arm. Such an act of gentleness was beyond Hawke's ability. Yet he was doing it. It shocked Fenris so much that her jerked away and snarled at him. "No! I don't want you comforting me." Fenris growled backing away. Fenris was much too upset to feel any other way at the moment. He had already took much of his frustration out on yelling at Hawke. Who could have decked him across the face but didn't. "You saw what happened here! There's always going to be some reason, some excuse why mages need to do this!" He continued to fume. "Even if I found my sister, who knows what the magisters have done to her. What has magic touched that it doesn't spoil?" Fenris said harshly. In that moment his anger died down as he saw Hawke draw back from him. The larger man closed his eye. Reaching up to paw at the eye-patch. Opening his eye once again but this time focused on the ground. Fenris remembered then. Hawke suffered just as much as he did. Remembering that Hawke said magic had mess him up. Or to be more specific. Magic had caused him to suffer every waking moment. That's why he was a Reaver. Fenris suddenly felt ill. Like he couldn't breathe. "I... need to go." Fenris said as he dropped his head and hurried out through a door leading to the outside. After wards. He took off in a sprint.

Hawke remained in the cavern. Taking a deep breath before looking after where Fenris had gone. He looked back at the women and walked towards them. "Let's leave this place. We can head to Sundermount tomorrow. Alright, Merrill." He said. Merrill simply nodded. The three left the cavern and headed back to Kirkwall. Hawke saw to it that the girls got home before making his way to Fenris's Mansion. He walked through the building everywhere. Noticing that the elf wasn't there at all. With a sigh Hawke left out of the mansion. Hawke never felt urged to look for someone who wasn't family before. He wandered about the city looking but couldn't find the elf. It was starting to piss Hawke off. Making Hawke wonder if Fenris left Kirkwall for good. That very idea bothered him deeply. He decided to head home. As he walked in he noticed Fenris sitting on a bench in the front foyer. Fenris saw him enter and quickly stood up keeping his head to the floor. Having the feeling to apologize to the larger man once again that day.

"I have been thinking about what happened with Hadriana. I took out my anger on you, undeservedly so. I was... not myself. I'm sorry." He said looking away. Deep down Fenris felt like he was screwing up at every turn with Hawke now. He couldn't stand it. Hawke remained silent and simply looked down at him. Hawke's expressing was neutral. Almost as if he didn't care. It started to make Fenris uncomfortable. "Just an apology?" Hawke said crossing his arms. Fenris looked away from him. Not finding the courage to maintain eye contact. "If you wish... I can go. You need not see me again..." Fenris said trailing off. "I spent the entire fucking day searching for your branded ass. And you think a simply apology is going to get my wasted time back? Explain yourself now, Elf." Hawke said. Fenris looked back up to him. He didn't realize that Hawke was worried for him. That Hawke truly cared about his wellbeing. Fenris took a deep breath.

"When I was a slave. Hadriana was a torment. She would ridicule me, deny my meals, hound my sleep. Because of her status, I was powerless to respond and she knew it. The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now... I couldn't let her go. I wanted to, but I couldn't." Fenris said.

"Good now the bitch is dead. Shouldn't that be something?" Hawke said. Fenris knew Hawke would respond in kind to her death but Fenris just didn't feel right.

"I should be happy now that Hadriana is dead. Instead, I feel nothing but... disquiet. This hate... I thought I'd gotten away from it. But it dogs me no matter where I go. To feel it again, to know it was they who planted it inside me... It was too much to bear... How... How can you live like this? With your own hatred... Nevermind. I didn't come here to burden you further." Fenris said walking past Hawke towards the door.

"My hatred is my own. Though I hold it for the majority of living creatures... That is my problem. You have your own problems. That only you can solve. And you say you are a burden to me. Yet you are not. Now what of your family?"

Fenris paused at the door. Again. Hawke was right. What was odd was how much younger Hawke was to him. That man was at least ten years younger than Fenris. Yet he seemed to be much wiser than Fenris ever could. He had to admit he was impressed. "I don't know about my family. I will have to think on it." With that Fenris left.

Fenris walked back to his mansion in silence. After everything that happened today. To know that Hawke truly cared for him. To worry about him. Even to a point of being gentle. Hawke showed he wasn't just some mindless warrior. He was a person. Fenris wondered what Hawke thought about and done on his own when no one was around. Fenris arrived home and laid down after removing his armor. Though his thoughts on Hawke didn't remain innocent as he fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N Those two are going to get together. Have no fear!  
But I wish to set it up differently than from the game. It was a bit lackluster for me.  
Also When The steamy stuff is ready. I might post it on Archive of Our Own.  
Because I don't want this story taken down. **


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46 Secrets**

* * *

It had been a few days since the ambush with those hunters. Having put off the request Merrill had asked for. The elvhen girl was very understanding. After all Fenris seemed out of the loop after what had happened. Hawke even began to notice the elven male acting strange. That elf began to act a bit out of character. Though Hawke was a bit curious about it but pushed the thought aside. Figuring Fenris was just more paranoid after what had happened. Either way. Hawke seemed to have become a bit over protective of the smaller man. Both him and Fenris were going through Hightown. It was getting late and the two of them had just finished clearing the streets of gangs. The gangs of thugs were just getting weirder. It was like those groups were into the occult. Or something. They were dealt with regardless. Hawke wondered if this was helping Fenris. Giving a glance over to the smaller male. Fenris remained staring at the ground. Hawke growled lowly and walked on.

Fenris heard Hawke growl. He shivered from hearing Hawke do that. For the last few days Fenris has been having dreams. Similar to the one he had a long time ago. Back in the Deep Roads. A dream where Hawke was close to him. Touching him. That growl Hawke gave was just torture for Fenris. Mainly because the dreams have left him confused. True that he wished to have a relation with Hawke. But he had mainly wished for something akin to life long significance. Something platonic. Like a significant other, not a lover. Mainly due to him being afraid of something physical. But his dreams have made him look at Hawke more wantingly. He looked up at Hawke. A smile ghosting over his face. He found himself admiring the way Hawke carried himself. He inched closer to the larger man. He looked to the ground. This was the right distance. If he could just remain this close to Hawke. He would be happy. But Fenris wanted Hawke's touch a bit too much. A flood of twisted images filled Fenris's mind. He reached up to hold his neck. Letting out a sigh. He looked up to see they were at his mansion. "I thought we were going to your place?" Fenris asked. "I wished to spend the night at your home. After all. I got you something the other day when you were avoiding me." Hawke said. Fenris blushed slightly. He had to avoid Hawke. The dream he had was just... too... vivid. "I-i see. Alright. Which room do you wish to stay in?" Fenris asked walking past Hawke. "Your room. I'll move a mattress from another room to there." Hawke said. Fenris held his breath as he nodded. Hurrying up through the mansion as they entered. He let it out as he sat down in his room. Hawke walks in and sets down a large book. Fenris's eyes light up. He heard Hawke give a mild laugh. "Thought you would like it. Judging by the look on your face. You actually heard of it. Good. I thought it was worthless till Varric told me to bring it to you." Hawke explained. "Thank you Hawke... Hey. Do you.. Want to hear a story?" Fenris asked. Hawke looked at him before shrugging and nodding. Fenris smiled as he helped bring in a spare mattress and started to talk to Hawke about his time in Tevinter.

The night passed quickly. Filled with stories and near drunken talk. Fenris awoke near Hawke on the floor far too early to be morning. He sat up right and looked around. Moving away from Hawke so it wasn't awkward. Though Fenris was sure he fell asleep on his bed after drinking a few bottles of wine. He looked down at Hawke's sleeping form. The man was very still when he slept. Hardly moving. Fenris looked to the window taking a low breath. His head hurt rather badly. Probably from a bit too much wine. He could remember a few things that happened last night. He told Hawke about his time in his homeland. About the Fog Warriors. And about why he started running from Danarius. He remembered Hawke giving a dangerous growl along with death threats to the magister's life. Fenris looked back to Hawke. The larger man was clothed in a light tunic. His main body of armor was off. Fenris, himself, was dressed in one as well. He couldn't even remember changing last night. Looking down at Hawke's sleeping form. Fenris couldn't help but inch his way back over to Hawke. He knows Hawke is a deep sleeper. Though if bothered enough Hawke would awaken. Fenris swallowed as he reached out towards Hawke. Wishing to touch the larger man. As he settled his hand gently on to Hawke's shoulder. He paused, holding his breath. Letting it out slowly as Hawke did not stir. Fenris slowly ran his hand up. Letting the darker man's somber hair run through his fingers. Fenris smiled a bit. The man's hair was soft like silk. Hawke must be ever prideful to have such luxurious hair. Fenris's smile faded as he noticed Hawke's twisted crown was gone. There was bandages there instead. Fenris got curious. Moving the larger man's bangs aside. Freezing his progress when he heard Hawke growl darkly in his sleep. The larger man huffed before going quiet again. Fenris moved Hawke's hair aside to see the bandages sullied with blood. He pulled back and simply stared. Didn't Hawke say that it constantly bleed or something? Fenris was fairly sure of it. Fenris got up and quickly made his way over to the table. Finding his large belt. Searching through the pouches. Finding newer bandages. He went back over to Hawke. He knelt to reach for the bandages on Hawke's face. He hisses as Hawke's hand comes up and grips his approaching hand. "Hmm. What are you doing?" Hawke asked giving a slight groan as he sat up and glared at Fenris. "I... I simply wanted to change the bandages. After all they are soaked with blood..." Fenris said honestly. Hawke stared at him for a long moment. Fenris stiffened when he felt Hawke run his thumb along the Lyrium markings that ran down his wrist. Hawke was not necessarily there. Assumingly still half a sleep. Fenris knew what that was like. Having one eye closed and the other open. But for Hawke. Well.. it was just strange to see. "Whatever..." Hawke finally said with a yawn. His hand dropping to his side. Fenris nodded and settled in front of the larger man. Hawke's eye trailed his movements. It was rather off-putting. Fenris reached up and grabbed hold of the bandages. Fenris started to feel a bit honored. He has never seen Hawke let anyone else do this. He knew that Hawke allowed his mother to do this. But never anyone else. Though the moment Fenris started to take the bandages off. He felt his heart drop.

His eyes widened at what laid beneath the thick bandages. The whole right side of Hawke's face was gone. The large wound transversed over the whole area where his eyes was supposed to be. Slightly running along the bridge of the nose. Going down to just a few inches above Hawke's mouth. Spanning back across his cheek into the line of his beard. The large wound was scary to look at. Parts of it were healed. But raw opened flesh encircled the empty eye socket. The shallow hole itself was near black with pieces of skin stretching across. A disturbingly dark red surrounded the hollow space. There was also fresh cuts. The place where Hawke claws at himself. These marks were dug into the meat. Fenris swallowed as what felt like bile rose into his throat. "H-how..." Fenris started. Hawke let out a low hum. "Now you see what I hide. No sort of magic can heal this. All it did was curse me... For a reaver. The wound which caused our near death remains forever fresh. Ingesting dragon's blood and the use of healing magic the second before we died causes this. But only a strong magic can prevent death." Hawke said. "My Father tried to save my life. He had no idea what had happened. All he knew. Was that he was protecting his son. The consequences of his life saving act. Forever condemned me to suffering... I don't blame him for this. But I blame the magic that flowed through him. Over time. I became resentful of his magic... So much so. That I killed him. I had gotten hurt. He chose to heal me. In response. I lost myself. I repaid his love with hatred. He still forgave me. Even as he lay dieing... I never told Mother what I did. But I am sure she knew." Hawke said closing his eye. Fenris began to bandage the wound up after finding the strength to bear the sight. "A reaver is born of magic and blood. It is quite similar to blood magic. But for warriors... In truth. I probably been better off dead..." Hawke spoke lowly as he opened his eye. Fenris pushed back from him. Hawke leaned back onto the floor.

"Now we both shared a story that we never told anyone before..." He said looking up at the ceiling. Fenris looked to the side.

"Thank you for telling me Hawke." He said. The larger man looked over to the elf then.

"I figured I should tell you. It isn't something I like to remember..." Hawke said. Fenris simply nodded. Fenris looked back up.

"Should we do something now that we are up? It is nearly morning."

"I suppose..."

"We could eat something filling for a change. I bought food."

"I rather have something else at the moment." Hawke's eye grew dark as he sat up.

"Umm... Like what?" He asked.

Hawke moved forward till he was to his feet. Fenris was confused for a moment before Hawke lunged forward. Out of instinct and habit. Fenris's markings lit up. Hawke had him pinned to the ground by his throat. "H-Hawke!" Fenris gasped as he grabbed Hawke's wrist. Hawke stared down at him with a sick grin spreading cross his face. His tongue snaking out.

"Going back to our previous topic. In all honesty. I don't mind being a reaver that much. There are benefits to it. Delighting in another person's blood is simply satisfying. As to what I wish to eat. It would be you." Hawke said with the sick smile. Fenris blushed but forced himself to relax. He stopped resisting in Hawke's grasp. Finding the larger man loosen his grip. Hawke began leaning forward towards Fenris. The elf already knew what was going to happen. But the moment Hawke's body started to press down on him. He couldn't help but push against the dark man. Hawke pulled back. A spark of interest lit up his eye. "Did you just..." Hawke started looking down at Fenris. Fenris blushed and looked away. "Well then. Looks like someone is secretly a faggot. And here you had me thinking you were straight." Hawke said. Fenris blushed more. "I-i haven't been able to stop thinking about you... I-i. Ah." The elf slightly gasped as he felt Hawke settle onto him. Hawke gave a light laugh as he thrusted against the smaller man. Getting the elf to groan. "I am going to have some fun with you." Hawke growled as he leaned forward. Moving his hand to force Fenris's head back. Hawke slowly licked at the elf's neck. His other hand started to run along the elf's leg. Hawke continued trailing his tongue along the lines of Lyrium. Before sinking his teeth into the man below him. Fenris hissed in pain before letting out a soft moan. Hawke bit down harder getting the elf to whine. Pulling back from Fenris. Hawke started to laugh as he licked the blood that ran from his mouth. "You are such a masochist. I love it." Hawke growled. He turned the elf to look at him. Leaning down to give the elf a kiss.

Fenris groaned as their lips met. Despite the taste of his own blood. He enjoyed the kiss. Placing one hand against the larger man's chest. He felt Hawke's tongue force its way into his mouth. He gave off a low moan. Allowing the other man to claim his mouth. He felt as Hawke's hand ran up around his waist. Soon feeling the larger man shift his weight. Hawke hand moved along Fenris's waist and settled right above the elf's crotch. But before Hawke could move his hand lower. Both men heard a startled gasp. Hawke pulls from Fenris and glare at who walked into the room.

Aveline was so red in the face that it matched her hair. Even Fenris's face burned a deep scarlet. Hawke gave a dangerous growl at the guardswoman. "M-maker's breath. I am so sorry!" She turns and goes out the room quickly slamming the door shut. "Maker fucking dammit! Guard Bitch!" Hawke yelled furiously as he got up from over Fenris. Aveline started yelling from behind the door. "I didn't know you two were a thing! I just came looking for you Hawke!" The captain cried. Hawke growled as he grabbed his armor and started putting it on. Fenris did the same but his blush never left his face. "Why the fuck for!?" Hawke demanded as he dressed. "The Viscount wants you, is why!" Aveline shouted covering her face outside the room. Hawke looked towards Fenris. "Let's get this shit over with." He growled. Fenris nodded as he watched Hawke jerk the door open. Storming past Aveline. Fenris stopped short beside Aveline covering his face. "Maker. I am sorry, Fenris. I didn't know you two were about to. You know..." She said, her face full of embarrassment. It fell away as she saw the bloody bite along Fenris's neck. "Did you let him bite you!?" She asked shocked. Fenris looked at her with his face still covered. "Yes. Don't judge me!" Fenris defended. Aveline put her hands up and leaned back. "What ever your kink is. I don't want know!" She said. "Please don't tell anyone about this..." Fenris pleaded somewhat. "Sure. Fine. I'm just going to go home and pretend this didn't happen." She said hurrying off. Fenris went off after Hawke.

Hawke was still in a foul mood when he was being informed by Viscount Dumar. Fenris remained close to Hawke during the whole ordeal. Holding his hand over a light bandage along his neck. He knew there was going to be a mark. Though he really didn't mind. He followed Hawke out the Viscount's office and walked over to where Bran was. The seneschal was not too pleased to see him nor Hawke.

"You suppose to have information about the Qunari?" Hawke asked.

"I am to help you, yes. Viscount Dumar would Appreciate discretion in the matter. I would prefer that you were not involved at all, but that is neither here nor there."

"I don't give a shit about your opinion. Just fucking tell me what you know." Hawke growled.

"Such profanity...Ugh. The delegate and his entourage could not be made to disappear without the knowledge of the city guard. Not coincidentally, a number of recent recruits have failed to report. You should start with one of them. Although, where you find a swordsmen so eager to sell his honor and duty, I'm sure I don't know.

Both Fenris and Hawke answer simultaneously. "The Hanged Man."

"Right. Then you know what to look for. I can't imagine this has occurred without notice. There is always a weak link." Bran said.

With that the two warriors set off towards the Hanged Man. Hawke was still a bit angry from early that morning. Hawke was just itching for a fight. They enter the tavern once they arrive. They hear a man at the bar talking. "Cheers! For I found out qunari bleed just like everyone else!" Hawke looked over to the man and went straight for him. Walking up behind the man. Fenris walked over as well and looked at the man.

"Expensive tastes for this place." Fenris said.

"That's right, pal. Tonight I'm paid and blessed. And all I had to do was turn my head." The man said walking towards a group sitting around a table. Raising a bottle into the air. "To all my friends! " Hawke stalked over and stood behind the man. Though the man was already liquored up quite a bit. "Hey, step back. I know important people. We're going to show this city what to do with heathen oxmen."

Hawke's body gave a slight twitch. Fenris knew what Hawke was going to do way before Hawke even began talking. "I know a qunari can not be parted from their weapon. But let's see how well you fight against someone. Whose weapon isn't bound." Hawke said as a sick smirk started to show upon his face.

"I never touched them, But I can take the likes of you." The man said turning around. His face dropped as he looked up to Hawke. The man backed up before saying. "You want some of this? Take it from me and my new friends!" The man shout. Though only a few of his 'new friends' stood up to face Hawke. "Good coin means good friends. Come on!" He yelled. Hawke swung and kneed the man in the stomach before swinging his axe up across one of the man's 'friends'. As the fight started. Isabela decided to jump in. Hurling herself at one of the people targeting Hawke. Fenris also came forward with his weapon in hand. A few bolts flew from upstairs as Varric made his way down the stairs. Having heard the commotion. The guardsman's friends pulled back after a few well forcefully placed hits. One even got disemboweled by Hawke. The friends decided to abandon the their new friend and retreat. Leaving the rebellious guard on his own. Hawke turned to the guard and grabbed him by the neck before slamming him towards the ground. The guard started whimpering and crawling away. A heavy axe was dug into the floorboards right in front of him. He backed up and looked at Hawke who towered over him. He started to beg for his life when he saw the look on Hawke's face. "I decided not to bleed you dry so you could answer me." Hawke said with a sick purr as he licked at his teeth. The guard started to cry. "What... what do you want? I-i just did what he said. It was more coin than I ever seen." The guard admitted. Hawke reached out to snatch the man up by his shirt. Getting the guard to scream pitifully. The other patrons in the bar turned their head. Isabela just went back to the bar to drink. While Varric marched his way back upstairs as he let off a yawn. Corff looked at Hawke and the mess from one of the now dead patrons. "Don't make another pool. Do you know how hard it is to get blood off the floor?" Corff called out Hawke laughed as he pulled his axe from the floor. "As long as the damn bastard tells me what I want to hear. I won't kill him. I'll just tell Aveline about his misconduct." Hawke said. The man swallowed. "I-i don't know. He was a templar! We met near the chantry. He... he said taking the Qunari was serving the Maker." The man said. Hawke growled. "There is no Maker..." The man panicked. "I swear, he even had the seal of the grand cleric! True is true!" He said. Hawke rolled his eye and hurled the man to the side. The man hit a table but scrambled to get up. "Go tell the Guard Captain what you did. And if you don't. I will find you." Hawke said. The man nodded furiously and took off out the tavern. Hawke turned to Fenris then. Fenris was shaking his head and held a look of pure disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me. A templar?" The elf said. "Serving the Grand fucking Cleric, no less. This would most entertaining." Hawke said walking to the door. He stopped and turned to Corff. "Don't worry about the blood. That seems to have taken care of itself." Hawke said. The bartender let out a sigh. "I don't know what you are. With the whole blood whirling about you. But you keep the rabble out and you're a cherish customer. So. I won't say nothing." Corff said as he went to get the expensive bottle from the table. "I can resale this." He said. Hawke gave a light laugh before exiting the tavern.

Both warriors head to Hightown and toward the Chantry. Upon entering. Fenris hurried up to be beside Hawke. "So let me get this straight. On the word of a drunk we intend to accuse the grand cleric of funding zealots?" Fenris asked. "I want answers about the Qunari, Bastard Elf." Hawke droned walking through the golden hallway. Fenris paused slightly and sighed. "Well. Freedom was interesting while it lasted." Fenris murmured. A chantry sister looked shocked to see Hawke there as he walked up. "The grand cleric. Just tell her to get out here." Hawke demanded. The sister hurried to find the grand cleric. As the two warriors waited. A familiar face walked up.

"Serah Hawke." Petrice said with disdain. Hawke gave her one look and growled dangerously.

"Petrice..." He snarled.

"Mother Petrice. Time has changed us both. But you are still a vicious arrogant man. Grand Cleric Elthina cannot grant an audience to just anyone. What do you want?" She said with a look of disgust in her eyes.

Hawke as very tempted to assault this woman. He was about to make a move towards her when Fenris spoke up. "A qunari delegate has disappeared. We wish an inquiry of the grand cleric." Fenris said. Petrice looked at him.

"Are you suggesting the Grand Cleric had something to do with this? Scandalous. Ridiculous, of course. She leads a great many people, but not as a commander." she said.

Hawke took a step forward but Fenris stood in front of him. "A templar has used her seal to convince the act was righteous." Fenris said. Petrice remained silent. Hawke spoke up then.

"You know something about this, bitch. But does her Grace know of such abuse?" Hawke growled. Petrice inhaled sharply and looked angry.

"The grand cleric trusts her stewards to enact the wishes of the Maker."

"I doubt she would approve such. She will hear of it. You won't always be here, bitch." Hawke said sharply.

"Stubborn..." Petrice whispered angrily before looking at Hawke. " All right. Serah Hawke, if you won't abandon this. Let me offer you something." She said taking a step forward. Fenris backed up against Hawke. He knew how Hawke reacted the last time when he was in the same room as Petrice. He knew Hawke hated this woman beyond compare. He felt Hawke's body give a jerk before settling back down. Fenris was sure Petrice saw the spasm. "The templar you seek is a radical who has grown... unreliable. Confronting him may do us all a favor." Petrice said.

"You know him how exactly?" Hawke asked baring his teeth at her.

"He is my former bodyguard, Ser Varnell. Assume what you wish, but I offer him to you as... reconciliation. Meet me at this location. I invite you, Serah Hawke. Come see the unrest these Qunari have inspired." She says handing Fenris a slip of paper before walking off.

"She is a poor conspirator..." Fenris said looking at the small paper that was given to him.

"It is her game for the moment." Hawke said finally calming down.

The two of the went to the Grand Cleric and informed her of what has happened. She seemed sadden by such a turn of things. Even more sadden by Hawke's absence of faith for the Maker. But she smiled at him regardless. After all. She believed Hawke would find his own way. With or without the Maker.

The two of them left the Chantry. Making their way to Lowtown. They stopped at the Qunari compound along the way. Upon entering the Arishok looked down at him.

"What do you want, Hawke? I have no interest in adding to my distractions."

"Yet you sent a delegate to the viscount."

"A brief attempt to educate. If the dwarf had had stolen the saar qamek, it could have been used to show the price of greed. But you know the outcome of that. These fools are determined to be wrong. I won't waste the effort again.

"Should have quit sooner. Your delegate is missing."

"Anyone else, and those words would have been their last. You are handling this? Not your buffoon of a viscount?"

"With prejudice."

"Then I will wait. But know this, the provocations we have suffered have worked. If this is not resolved. I can fulfill my duty to Qun with far less annoyance by shifting through rubble. "

"As if there wasn't enough pressure." Fenris complained quietly as he walked off with Hawke. He looked up at the larger man and stared. How was Hawke not bothered by this?

He remained silent as he followed the dark-haired man. They went through an underground alley from the docks and found exactly where Varnell would be. Fenris looked around the place. "Tight quarters..." he muttered. "That bitch is here somewhere." Hawke growled. "Right..." Fenris wasn't exactly happy about the situation. The two of them walked along the old rooms till they heard a voice. "Qunari hold no real power. They are absent in the eyes of the Maker." The two of them paused. "That must be Varnell..." Fenris said. Hawke merely hummed. As they continued they heard him again. "Do not fear them They die. Like any other animal." Fenris and Hawke continue forward till they see the captured qunari and Varnell. Along with some fanatics. "Like any beast, remove the fangs and it is lost. They are weak before the faithful of the Maker. The only certainty in their precious Qun is death before the righteous." Ser Varnell said as he pulled back his hand and struck the qunari across the face. The large man glared down at the templar. Hawke and Fenris stop a short distance away when they both heard Petrice. "Ser Varnell!" She shouted rushing past the two men towards the templar.

"Take a knee, faithful. The Chantry blesses us." Varnell said gesturing to Petrice.

"You claim a blessing when you used the authority of the grand cleric so openly? You have brought wrath down upon you." She started. Taking steps towards Hawke. Walking a circle around him. "You remember Serah Hawke?" Hawke glared harshly at her and bared his teeth with a growl. "The Qunari have friends, templar. How will you answer their allegations?" She said with a devious smile.

Hawke's hand twitched as he glared at Petrice. Before turning his gaze towards Varnell. Hawke let out a low growl as he stepped forward. "You wish to fight? Then fight me you godless bastard!" He spat pulling his axe from its holder. Varnell backed up towards the held qunari. Pulling his knife out, he turned and slit the throat of the captive qunari. Giving a twisted smile that fell short of Hawke's own dementedly twisted one. "Righteous! Destroy them!" Ser Varnell yelled. Petrice turned around and ran off. Hawke shook his head as he took a step forward. As did Fenris. Who stood close beside Hawke. As the fight started. Hawke went straight for Varnell. Though Varnell must have known he was going to have to go up against Hawke. He used his shield to attack instead of defend. It caused Hawke's attacks to slow down. To such a point where Hawke switched tactics. Fenris dealt with the enemies that tried to overwhelm Hawke when Varnell rallied them. "No! I won't allow it!" Fenris shouted when he saw Hawke take a heavy hit that sprayed blood into the air. Fenris rushed over slammed into Varnell knocking him off-balance. Hawke in turn threw himself full force, knocking the templar to the ground before swinging his axe down across the templar's neck. The fanatics backed off at this display. Some thinking that dieing for the cause was not the best idea. Those decided to run while the rest continued to fight. They were shortly dispatched. Fenris turned to look at Hawke. Still worried after seeing Hawke get a serious hit. Fenris stopped as he saw Hawke's left arm. There was blood covering his entire arm. Fenris stepped towards him. Hawke took a deep breath. "Hawke... Are you alright?" Fenris asked. Hawke started laughing. Which surprised Fenris. "I didn't think I would ever encounter someone who would actually get such a grievous hit on me. I must say I am impressed." Hawke said. Hawke began to breathe in. The wound started to close up as the templar's blood swirled through the air. Up into Hawke's mouth. "I can never get use to seeing that..." Fenris said feeling a bit uneasy. "You will in due time. Now..." Hawke started as he looked at the dead bodies of the qunari. "Time to bring this shit to the Viscount..."

It took an hour to get the viscount down there along with some guards. The Viscount pacing back and forth.

"Madness. Madness!" Dumar exclaimed.

"No shit..." Hawke said rolling his eye.

"Chantry involvement... even if they are fringe elements. It could not be worse."

"Yes it can." Hawke yawned.

Viscount Dumar remained silent as he looked at the dead bodies of the qunari. Before turning to Hawke. "You killed them... All of them?"

"You see their corpses right? This group was a pain the fucking ass to deal with. But yes. I did... But I suspect there are more." Hawke said walking up to the Viscount. Fenris walked up as well and seemed to busy himself with poking Hawke in the "hurt" arm. The larger man growled at him. The viscount disregarded this and walked closer to Hawke. Fenris quickly glanced up and frowned at the Viscount.

"Then... that, at least, is something. Not that it matters now. We have the delegate but... I can't return the bodies to the Qunari in this state. Serah Hawke, you know the Arishok. What should I do?" Dumar asked looking up to Hawke.

"You are asking me for political advice? Fine. Don't hide this shit from that horned bastard. The Arishok will find out if you do anything to the bodies. Even if the bodies are not considered them any longer. Besides. you hide this. You are just going to make it worse."

"It would, wouldn't it? I am losing my sense of how to balance this nightmare. I appreciate your help in this matter. As bad as this is, it could have been much worse without you."

"It would have been the same either way..." The dark-haired man murmured.

"Kirkwall owes you. I owe you." Viscount Dumar said before walking off with his guards.

With them gone now. Hawke jumped Fenris. His voice making the elf jump and his markings light up. "Don't fucking poke me! You branded motherfucker!" Hawke growled. Fenris looked back and tried not to laugh. "I just wanted to see if it would still hurt." Fenris confessed. Hawke growled and walked over to Fenris. Who stood his ground.

"What are you going to do? Hurt me?" Fenris said looking at the darker man.

"I would but you would probably enjoy it. Masochist." Hawke smirked.

"You are one as well." Fenris countered.

"So it is agreed. We both derive pleasure from pain." Hawke purred.

"I noticed we both get a kick out of hurting people." Fenris added.

"True. You do enjoy scaring that blonde haired mage. It is entertaining to watch."

"I threatened to shove him off the cliff at the Wounded Coast the other day while you and Varric were further ahead."

"Did you push him off?"

"He ran before I could. Though the edge wasn't that far up. He would have landed in a shallow pool of water."

"Still fun. Threating that Abomination is quite enjoyable. Though he seems to be getting use to it."

"We should come up with a way to scare him."

"Yeah. We should."

They soon make their way back to Hightown. Talking the entire time back.

* * *

 **A/N I enjoyed writing this chapter. It was fun.  
Those wishing to seem some Fenhawke will not have to wait much longer. I promise.  
Besides. It isn't going to follow the game much on their relationship.  
That whole three year bullshit ain't gonna fly in this Story.**


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47 Twisted Kind of Pleasure**

 _This is not exactly hardcore nor overly explicit. But it is something..._

* * *

A few days after dealing with Ser Varnell. Fenris finds himself wandering over to the Hanged Man late in the evening. Figuring he should get some sort of fresh air considering he spent the entire day at his house. Mainly moving stuff into a room on the first floor of his mansion that didn't have gaping holes in the roof. Winter was on its way. As it was already starting to get much colder in Kirkwall. He walked into the tavern and was greeted by Corff. The barman told him that Aveline, Hawke, and Varric were upstairs in Varric's suite. He nodded to the bartender and headed up there. He stopped in front of the heavy metal door. Taking a deep breath. For a few nights, Fenris's dreams have been a bit more perverse concerning Hawke. Though he never got to see anything farther than Hawke kissing his and groping him. To be completely honest with himself. Fenris was disappointed. He pushed against the door and walked in. "Broody! There you are. Look what Hawke got back for me! My family's signet ring!" Varric said seeing Fenris come in. Running up to him with a bright smile. Fenris looked down at the ring and noticed it was the same one that Hawke swiped from a vendor. "Also. You aren't doing anything later are you?" Varric asked. Fenris shook his head before answering. "Not really, no. Why?" Varric walked back over to Hawke and Aveline. Hawke sat in his chair while Aveline was perched on the table almost in front of him. They were currently examining a weapon. "Hey! Hey! Put my stuff back on the wall. They for decoration only." Varric said to the two warriors. "Alright." Aveline said standing up to bring the weapon back to its place. "Anyway, Broody. We are going to head over to my Brother's estate." The storyteller said. Fenris looked down at the smaller man.

"Your greedy brother is back in town?" The elf growled.

"Yes. I know. Your upset. Just don't bust a table using your head." The dwarf said looking over to Hawke.

"Not only did he break it using his head. He hurled the remains out a window and hit a passerby." The Guard Captain said with a sigh.

"At least I was sitting down..." Hawke droned.

"You weren't even drunk yet!" Varric whined.

Hawke glared at him. The dwarf sighed. "Yes. Yes. I know. I'm being a pansy!"

"Get back to where we pay your brother a visit." Fenris said trying to get the conversation back on track.

"Right. Because you were pissed off too. Well we should get going now. Maybe Blondie might want to tag along. Considering he was trapped down there with us."

"That mage's idea of dipping him in molten gold was a clever idea. We should do that." Hawke said standing up.

"I know it was very poetic~"

"Can we get a move on?" Fenris hissed.

"I agree with Fenris. We should hurry before your brother decides to skip town." Aveline added.

With that being said they made their way out of the tavern and up to Hightown via a back dark alley. Along their way Varric started laughing. "I heard the nobles grousing about the commoners moving up. Congratulations Hawke. You ruined the neighborhood!" He said cheerily. Hawke rolled his eye as they continued past Fenris's mansion. "Fenris..." Aveline started. Fenris remained silent. "You need to clean up the front of that mansion. At least make it look decent. Fenris groaned as the group made it to Bartrand's estate.

They looked at the house in confusing and Hawke growled. "Your information... Was wrong..." Hawke growled darkly glaring down at Varric.

"I don't get it... my sources saw people making deliveries here just a week ago. This... looks like it's been empty for months.

"Think the bastard is just being lazy like the elf to discourage tax collectors." Hawke said leaning forward with a yawn. Getting Fenris to say, "I heard that..."

"Well you're thinking it's a trap? Great! It's been ages since my brother tried to kill me!" Varric said walking forward and shoving open the door.

* * *

And so there I was! Entering the estate with nothing but my trusty crossbow Bianca! There were hordes of men standing between me and my brother! I gave them the evilest of glares that even made Hawke's look like that of a mewling kitten! I walked through that foyer and I said loud and clear this sentence. "So! That's how you great your brother is it, Bartrand? Fine. Say hello, Bianca!" I shouted as I whipped Bianca from her harness and let dozens of arrow taking out multiple enemies in one fell swoop! I tore through those men like they were nothing! I let arrows rain down upon them as I smoothly dodge their oncoming attacks! It was magnificent just like my golden chest hair! As I slayed enemy upon enemy left and right. I made my way up the stairs looking for my older brother. Three of his goons tried to jump me. I took them all out with a single bolt.

That was when I saw my brother. As he knelt before me. He started to plead. "Oh, Varric! Please forgive me, my brother! I was just jealous of you. How could I ever compete with you for mother's love? You're so strong and handsome and so very smart."

...

...

...

You guys don't care about this part do you? I bet you are just gong to skip over this paragraph just to get to what really happened. Huh? Can't blame a storyteller for trying to take over a story with himself in it. Please don't leave. Don't exit this page. I'll stop bullshitting you and let you get back to the **real** story being written. After all. You guys came here to read about violence and slashly guy on guy goodness. Didn't you? You pervy sick bastards. Imma go and get some bleach for my brain. But don't worry I ship FenHawke too~ Hehe.

Varric says sorry for interfering and has let you go back to your scheduled fanfic.

* * *

As the group walked in they were struck by a horrendous odor. Nearly making the most of them gag. They found the smell coming from some fresh corpses. "These corpses aren't even stiff yet Hawke. Someone been in here today." Varric said walking around the dead bodies. "Hmm. Right. They have yet to grow cold... Did you hear something? In the next room. Be prepared..." Hawke said with a growl pulling his weapon free. They made their way towards the door to the next room. As they opened it. They saw some hired guards who seemed to be twitching and jerk almost akin to how Hawke does. There was blood covering some of the guards. They were ripping apart another man who wore the same uniform. As the group walked in. The crazed men turned and attacked. Some with weapons in their hands. Some without. Just blindly swiping their hand through the air. Even going as far as to take a bite out of the group of misfits. The group fought back and quickly dispatched the guards. Varric shook like a leaf as he backed up into Hawke. "What did my brother do to these men... They... were completely out of their heads..." He said with a look of fear in his eyes. Aveline remained silent as she covered her mouth. Hawke gave a hum as he settled his hand on top of Varric's head. Roughly shoving him aside. "Stay behind me. All of you." Hawke said lowly making his way to the next door."Shit... This is starting to sound like a Maker damned horror story..." Varric said swallowing. "This isn't a story Varric..." Hawke growled. "Pfft. Says you!" Varric shot back walking up behind Hawke along with the others. As they continued through to the next room. It was empty but they could here some strange noises. They pressed forward to see even more crazed guards. These men were just as disturbed as the last. They seemed to be attacking each other as well. Their minds not fully there as they attacked one another. All the while the group began to wonder what befell these men to act this way. No matter what the situation, Hawke was on high alert. He was on the offensive quite ruthlessly. Downing these men with little to no difficulty. They soon made their way through to a hallway. The group once again started to take out these crazed men. At one point Hawke stepped into a bear trap. Giving a growl of annoyance at being hindered in movement he just continued to deal with the enemies till the ones remaining in that room were gone. "Always saw you as a bear, Hawke. Didn't think I would see you in a bear trap." Aveline said as Varric went over and took the trap off of Hawke. His leg bled lightly. Seemed the trap didn't have enough power to bite through Hawke's boot to do any real damage. "We should move on." Fenris said walking ahead. Just to be jerked back by Hawke. Who insisted on being in front. As they continued forward to the next room. They reluctantly set off a trap that let off a noxious gas. As this happened a bunch of men slammed down the door right near them. One jumped onto Varric, who panicked. The man on top of the storyteller received a shield smashed into his face. "Shit! He tried to bite me!" Varric cried backing up as Aveline defended him. "You remain undamaged?" Hawke asked cutting another man's head off. More crazed guard emerged from rooms further down the large hall. "Fuck..." Hawke growled turning towards them. "How many of these fuckers are there?" He questioned as they had to work their way through them. "Does anyone else think they look half dead?" Fenris asked dodging to be right up against Aveline's back. "What ever is corrupting their mind. Is affecting their entire body..." The Guardwoman said. "Bartrand... What have you done..." Varric said as he ducked and rolled to be beside Hawke. The last guard was taken care of for the moment. Now that the enemies were downed, they made their way to the main part of the mansion. Only to be set upon by even more guards. During this Hawke began to laugh darkly. Soon taking out more enemies at a time. The others fought with just as much force. Once the fighting settled down the group made their way up to the second story. A dwarven man ran out towards them. Hawke almost lunged forward had Varric not got between them.

"Hold up, Hawke... I know this man. He's Bartrand's steward. Hugin? What happened here?" Varric asked.

"Varric, your brother... That statue he brought out of the Deep Roads... Bartrand said it sang to him. Even after he sold it. I've been hiding in here, but the guards... they're like crazed animals. I didn't dare go past them. Everyone in this house has gone mad!" Hugin says as he paces back and forth.

"What exactly did he do to make the guards go insane?" Hawke questioned.

"He's been forcing them to eat lyrium. Some of the servants, he... cut pieces off them while they were still alive. He says he's trying to help them hear the song. Please stop him."

"Bartrand's not exactly a nice guy, but... this doesn't sound like my brother."

"We need to go in there and stop him now..." Hawke said giving a growl.

"Right." Varric said with a nod.

"Thank you. Maybe there's no one left alive in there, but if there is... grant them a quick death. Bartrand had taken the servants and locked himself in his study. No one has come out for days. And those sodding lunatics just keep prowling the halls."

"We're going in after him. Come on, Hawke. Let's finish this."

As they entered the room where Bartrand resided in. The dwarven man yelled. "I can't hear it. I need to hear the song again!" He said as he disappeared into the shadows. In that moment more guards came out of no where. They ran up the stairs. Some jumping onto Aveline. They tried to do the same to both Fenris and Hawke. Varric looked around wildly for his brother while trying to snipe off the enemies covering Aveline. She had to defend with her sword as they knocked her shield away. Fenris had managed to break free of the men by sending a high discharge of energy from his markings. Though it took a toll on him as he winced from the exertion. The enemies moved from him to Varric in that moment. Hawke was busily prying one man off of Aveline's back. Not even bothered by the number of guards trying to weigh him down. Fenris made a move to aid Varric but was struck across the face by someone in the shadows. "The lyrium might help me hear the song again." Bartrand said darting from the shadows and slashing his dagger into Fenris's stomach before pulling it out through the side. He raised his foot and kicked the elven warrior off over the second floor banister. Fenris landed hard upon his back on a bench that splinted beneath him as his sword left his hand. His markings flared as he gasped in pain. From his position on the floor he saw when Varric was thrown down the stairs. The storyteller let out a sharp yell as he crumpled to the floor after the fall. His weapon Bianca wasn't with him. Fenris tried to move towards his friend but found that moving caused great pain and discomfort. He then heard as something landed further behind him. Turning enough to see it was one of Bartrand's guards. The fight was still going on, on the second floor. But he couldn't see any of it. He tried to sit up but was stopped when Varric crawled across the floor. "Don't move Fenris..." The storyteller said. Varric's right arm was hanging limp. "Shit, Fenris. That looks bad. How are you still conscious? You look pale..." He said as he used on hand to check through his pockets before giving a hiss. During that time both Varric and Fenris hear Aveline. "I got Bartrand subdued!" The guardwoman said. They both looked up to see blood dripping from the second floor. Hawke walked over to the banister and stared down at them. He was breathing heavily and his body gave a jerk. He moved over slightly before jumping over the banister and landing near the two downed companions. He set Bianca down on the floor and reached over to Varric. "Whoa! Whoa! What are you?!" Varric started before he was held by Hawke. Hawke placed one hand on the dwarf's shoulder and one on his arm. He pulled on it. Varric let out a yelp before nearly passing out. "There... Done..." Hawke said. Varric was nearly clinging to Hawke. "Could of... Just told me... Owwie..." Varric moved back and held his arm which was now back in place. Hawke moved over to Fenris then. He held his hand in front of his mouth and bite down before he reached up over and set his hand heavily upon the elf's wound. Varric just sat there as he watched as the wound slowly closed itself. "What in the Ancestors' name?" He murmured after picking up Bianca. Hawke then stood up. Reaching down and grabbed hold of both smaller men. Pulling them harshly to force them into standing. Fenris nearly fell forward. Varric huffed as he shook and hurried away up the stairs. Casting a glance back at Fenris. Hawke shoved Fenris's sword back to him. Fenris just dragged it behind him as he followed Hawke.

The three men went to where Aveline was. She held Bartrand down in the man's room. With an okay from Hawke. Bartrand was released. Varric hurried over to his brother. The elder brother shook his head furiously as he stepped back.

"I can't... I can't... hear it anymore. I just need to hear the song again... just for a minute... Stop saying that! I know I shouldn't have sold the idol to that woman! It was a mistake! A mistake..." Bartrand said as he looked at the ceiling. Varric charged up into the elder brother's face.

"Bartrand, get a hold of yourself! Do you know where you are? Do you know what you've done?" He said holding onto his right sore arm.

"Varric! You'll help me, won't you, little brother? Help me find it again? You were always the good one..."

Varric looked appalled. "Help you? Bartrand, you left me to die! You left all your men to die! And for what? Some trinket? Look at yourself! Look at what you've done to the men and women who served you! Where's your nobility, Brother? Where's your dwarven honor?" Varric said getting in his brother's face.

Hawke gave a growl leaning forward. Fenris noticed that Hawke's armor was heavily stained at the side. It dripped with blood. He looked up at Hawke. The larger man stepped forward. "You might as well be talking to a damn wall. His mind is gone." Hawke said giving a heavy huff.

Varric started to get angrier than he already was. "Maker fucking dammit, Bartrand! Tell me! Why did you do it, Bartrand? Were you already crazy, before we even went into the Deep Roads? Or was it all the statue?"

"Idol... Not a statue. It wants to be worshipped. It wants me. It wants me back! She stole it from me!" He yelled. "For this?"

"Who has the damned idol now, dwarf?" Hawke growled stepping forward. Bartrand turned to him and looked past him.

"She glittered like the sun, but her heart was ice. She will not feed it, not like I did."

"That was fucking pointless..." Hawke growled with a wince before standing straight.

"For three years, all I've wanted is to look him in the eye and get his answer. Why he abandoned us in that thaig. What any of this was for. I guess there's nothing he could say that would make it right." Varric said sadly. "What do I do about him Hawke? He isn't my brother anymore... He's just..."

"That isn't up to me Varric. Deal with it your own way..."

"Right... I can't stand to seem him like this..." Varric said walking away from his brother. He stopped and turned around. "Sorry, Brother..." He said as he turned and shoot Bartrand. Bartrand tilted his head letting out a groan of discomfort. Before falling to the ground. "He didn't even react much to it... That's unsettling... Come on. I don't want to look at this place anymore." Varric said as he started to cry. The group quickly made it down the stairs to the entrance. Leaving out into the cold night. Hawke looked down at Varric who sighed as they started to walk away from the estate.

"The fuck is bothering you now, Varric?" Hawke asked.

"I should thank you for your help with my brother. He deserved it considering what happened to us down there. Namely you... But... I couldn't have gone through with that on my own if I wasn't influenced by you. Even if you didn't tell me what to do. You still influenced me in a way. Bartrand was never what you'd call nice. Or pleasant. Or hygienic. But he was my only brother."

"Well you can think of it as finally owning the family businesses..."

Varric snorted. "Sure. I've always wanted to waste my life arguing with the Merchant Guild. That's probably what drove Bartrand crazy in the first place!" Varric deadpanned before giving a sigh. "I don't know if surface dwarves go back to the Stone, or hang around singing hymns with Andraste, or what. I just hope wherever he is now. Bartrand stays out of trouble."

"What if the little fucker bad mouths us to the damn Maker? If he even exists that is." Hawke said in a weird jest. "Or maybe haunt our houses. That would be interesting."

This got Varric to laugh a bit. "I wouldn't put it past him! He always was the vindictive type. Anyway, thank you. I'll keep looking into who bought that blighted statue. At the very least, they need to be warned about what happened." He says before walking off. His hand rubbing against his sore arm. Aveline walking with him.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow alright. I just want to go home." Varric said.

"I am going to walk with him." Aveline said.

Thus leaving Fenris and Hawke alone. Well till Hawke turns to Fenris. "I'm heading home. See ya." He said before walking off. Fenris wandered over to his mansion then. Still bothered by what had happened earlier. He didn't like the idea of slipping up during a battle like that. It was the second time it has happened. The third if he was to include when an ogre nearly ripped him in half. He shuddered before shaking the thought from his head. Recalling that Hawke took the wound from him. He paused as he set his sword down. He remembered that in order to heal another person. Hawke had to take the wound upon himself. Fenris felt a bit sick. It ment that Hawke wasn't hurt during the fight. That blood that drenched Hawke's armor was due to a wound he took from Fenris. The elf placed his hand upon his side. His carelessness caused Hawke to suffer. Fenris turned and left out his mansion. Forgetting to even bring his sword with him. Passing up the old axe Hawke used to use. Fenris was overly concerned for Hawke's well-being. He quickly made it to the larger man's estate. He reached the door and stood there for a moment. Taking a breath. He gave a growl as he shoved the unlocked door open. Why was it unlocked? At this time of night... He looked around the mansion and quickly made his way up to Hawke's room door. He didn't see any sign of Hawke's mother nor his servants. "Hawke!" He called out. Though the realization that he just walked into the larger man's home without being invited quieted him. He backed up a bit thinking he best head home and quit worrying about the larger man but he just couldn't. He looked up as he heard a growl. Seeing Hawke leaning against the door frame. Hawke was in nothing but loose pants. Fenris couldn't help but trail his eyes down the larger man's burly frame. Hawke's chest hair lead down his front in a diamond-shaped pattern with a trail leading to the inside of his pants. Fenris swallowed. His attention was brought back up to Hawke's face by the man's dark voice. "The fuck you want, Fenris? It must be real important for you to just walk into my home..." Hawke growled darkly. Fenris coughed and looked away before answering. "I was concerned... About you... You were heavily bleeding and... Where did it go?" He said finally noticing that the man's side was uninjured. Hawke got off the door frame and walked over to Fenris. "You... Came here... To inquire my well-being. Why?" Hawke asked with a slight growl. "Because I was worried, alright?" The elf defended. Hawke gave a yawn. "I'm fine. Now leave..." He said turning from the smaller man and walking back to his room. Fenris really did care. Hawke was fine. Fenris should go home now, right? Though Fenris couldn't bring himself to leave. The elf swallowed wondering if the larger man forgot what he did a few days back. Because Fenris couldn't forget. He came worried about Hawke but when he saw Hawke dressed like that. He felt his face begin to heat up. Sure he seen the man before like this but... It was different now. Fenris wanted to touch him now. He wanted to be by him. He wanted to be touched. He hurried his way over to Hawke. "Wait!" He said suddenly. Quickly looking to the ground as his closed his eyes. Did he really wish to do this? All the dreams that tormented him in his sleep about this man. All the little fantasies in his head. Did he really want them to be real. He started to hold his breath. His dreams alway made Hawke to be somewhat gentle but he knew the man was not capable of that. Some occasions yes. But not all. Though he didn't want gentle... He held his breath till he nearly passed out. "What is it?" Hawke asked as he stood before the elf. Fenris let it out slowly. Hawke was so close to him. So very close. It was now or never. Without really thinking his next action through completely. He reached up and grabbed the larger man's long hair. Jumping as he pulled himself even with Hawke's face. Pressing his mouth against the larger man's. He felt Hawke stiffen for a moment before reacting. The next thing he knew. Hawke's hand was around his neck and was pulling him off. Fenris gasped as he tried to pull away. His back met a wall then. His feet finally touching the ground. Feeling a hot breath along his ear. He forced his eyes open. Hawke was smiling. "Well now... That was interesting. Do you wish to pursue me in this?" He said lowly. Fenris held tight to Hawke's clasped hand about his neck. "I-i..." Fenris started as he looked the larger man in the face. Hawke seemed to allow him time to think on this. Fenris thought about it and answered simply. "Yes."

* * *

(If you do not wish to read slash then the chapter ends here. If you want to see it read on. This is your only warning.)

* * *

Hawke's smile widen as he loosened his grip on the elf's neck. Bringing his mouth down harshly over the smaller man's in a searing kiss. Hearing the elf give out moan which was swallowed by Hawke. The large man opened his mouth letting his tongue slide across the elf's lips. As if asking for permission. The elf responded in kind. Letting their tongues swirl about each other. Fenris reached a hand to the back of Hawke's head as if trying to pull him closer. They continued till neither of them could barely breathe. Hawke growled pulling away from Fenris. A small trail of saliva still linking their tongues together. Both of them taking in a deep breath. The elf's face was flushed a slight red tint. While Hawke's a slight lavender. Hawke leaned forward then. "I am very tempted to take you here..." He said lowly as he ran his free hand up the elf's leg. Th elven male blushed, already knowing what part he was to play. Part of him didn't like the idea. To play the role of the woman again. Bothered him. Though he figured that with Hawke. It would be much different. At least he hoped. He pushed the uneasy feeling aside as he tried to pull himself closer against Hawke. "I'd rather it not be in the open..." He said. Fenris felt himself be pulled from the wall and hurried into Hawke's room. Looking a bit awed at it since this was his first time in this room to be honest. It was decorated in a deep plum and scarlet colors. With accents of black and gold trim on the furniture. He walked forward, looking around. He heard the door to the room close. About to turn around but was stopped. Feeling Hawke's hands set upon his shoulder. "I have waited so many years to do so many things to you, Fenris~" The larger man said in a flirting tone. Making Fenris blush more. "Like what exactly?" Fenris asked. "Oh. You will see, Elf." Hawke purred. Fenris felt as the main part of his armor was detached from him quickly. Hearing it give a sound off upon the stone floor. At this sound Fenris froze. The small part of him that didn't want to do this got louder. This caused him to flinch away from Hawke as if hurt. Hawke didn't even touch him harshly. It was a bit gentle. He was not used to Hawke's touch being so eerily gentle. It made he remember something he wished to forget. It made him move away from the larger man till he bumped into the bed which was a few feet away. Hawke tilted his head and walked closer to Fenris. "Tell me...Fenris... Do you wish to do this with me?" He asked. Fenris looked up at him. Out of habit, Fenris crossed his arms. Trying to cover himself. He wasn't even unclothed. "I...Don't...Know..." He said finally. Hawke seemed to give a low growl.

"Does this have something to do with me?" Hawke asked.

"What? No! No... I just..." Fenris started to shake a bit.

"Then why did you react the way you just did..."

"B-because... I..."

"Does this have something to do with you being a slave?" Fe asked as he examined the elf's posture.

"Yes... It. Just reminded me of what he did... To me..." Fenris said looking down.

It didn't take much for Hawke to figure out what was wrong. "So he..." Leaving the question open.

"Yes... He always toyed with me... Used his cursed magic to make me consent... He always made me remain still and quiet..." He said starting to visibly shake.

Hawke gave a low dangerous growl at the idea of what Fenris was saying.

"He never handled me roughly when touching... It always left a sick and vile feeling on me. He made it so.. causal... The way he ran his hands upon me were... unsettling. Though... He wasn't. Considerate with..." Fenris trailed off and remained staring at the ground. The elf suddenly felt a fist in his hair as he was forced to look up. Giving a hiss.

"First off. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. I'm not a complete monster..." Hawke said releasing him.

"I know..."

"Another thing. I am not like that bastard." He said with a growl.

"I'm aware. And that reason is why I haven't been able to stop thinking of you... When you touched me earlier. You were gentle... I don't want you to be like that. I want you to be rough with me." The elf said uncrossing his arms.

"Really now?"

"Yes! Because... I don't want to be reminded of. Of him! I want you to... Just do whatever sick shit you want with me." Fenris nearly shouted as his face began to heat up.

"Are you sure you wish for me to do that?" Hawke asked leaning forward.

Fenris swallows as he stares up at Hawke before answering. "I want this..." The larger man leaned closer. Effectively trapping the smaller man against the bed. Hawke smiled darkly. "When I am done with you. All you will remember is me." He said in a low growl against the elf's ears. Getting the smaller man to shudder. The elf took a deep breath trying to force his uneasement away. When Hawke pressed their lips together again. Fenris relaxed and pushed up to meet him. He started to feel the front of his tunic be tugged open. He pulled back from Hawke trying to say something that came to his mind. But it died on his tongue as Hawke's ran down his throat. Giving a slight gasp as Hawke began to bite at him roughly. He gave a slight whimper as the larger man moved away from him. Fenris's face was a dark shade of red. He began to move to pull off more of his armor. It was a bit difficult given that he was a bit nervous. Hawke seemed to notice. "There is nothing for you to be nervous about Fenris." The larger man said pulling the top part of the elf's armor off. Licking his teeth at how tan and well toned the elf's body was. Fenris pushed himself back onto the bed and looked like he was resisting in covering himself up. Hawke gave a small hum as an idea came to his mind. He was going to get this elf to calm down and relax. And he knew exactly what he was going to do. With a devious smirk he got onto the bed and pursued the elf. Fenris swallowed and backed up further into the headboard. Hawke let off a growl as he grabbed a hold of the elf's waist and jerked him back down towards him. Getting the elf to let out a undiginifed yelp. He tried to move but quickly came to notice he was pinned. The larger man leaned over the elf and kissed him yet again, forcing his tongue into the elf's mouth. Letting off a growl of a purr before pulling away. Moving a hand up to force the elf's head to the side. He licked along the lines of lyrium before baring his teeth. Sinking his teeth into the elf's flesh. Fenris jolted against him with a pained gasped before it dissolved into a low groan. Hawke slowly settled himself between Fenris's legs. Feeling the smaller man react in kind to this. Hawke pulled away to lick at the wound before making his way down the elf's chest. Nipping at him here and there getting the elf to shiver. He traveled even further down till he met the hem of the elf's pants. Hawke laughed a bit noticing how the elf's pants were tight due to his excitement. "H-hawke what are you-" Fenris started but couldn't even finish as he gasped sharply. Nearly jumping from the fact of Hawke running his tongue across the elf's strained leather clad cock. The larger man laughed as his free hand pulled down the elf's pants. Fenris's length springing free. "I might not look it. But I do enjoy sucking cock." The larger man said before his face dropped to a very serious glare. "Just don't fucking tell anyone." He growled as his hand ran over the elf's cock. "You are not as big as I thought you were. Your's is rather modest. I am much bigger than you are." He said slowly jerking the elf off before leaning down. He felt the elf tense. Looking up to see a frightful look in the elf's eyes. "Don't worry. I won't bite unless you want me too." Hawke said running his tongue against the head. Getting Fenris to hiss sharply. Fenris couldn't believe that Hawke would do something like this. It was considered demeaning to a man. But he couldn't help but give off a moan as he felt Hawke consume his member. Feeling the large man's tongue run along the very base up to the tip before pulling it back into his mouth. He could feel the large man's long hair fall around his waist. It brushed against his markings lightly giving a light chill. Though what caused even more chills to run up his spine was Hawke's unnaturally sharp teeth grazing his length. That was the only thing that could keep him from thrusting into Hawke's mouth. Hawke bobbed his head slowly back and forth over the elf. Fenris tried to bite back a moan but failed. In truth. He never felt something like this ever done on him. It was simply amazing. It was even more mind shattering that a man such as Hawke was giving it to him. Fenris gave out a loud groan as he felt the very back of Hawke's throat. He started to give a whine as he felt himself getting closer. " _Oh... don't stop. I'm so close...I.."_ He started to pant slightly. His mind nearly hazy as he started to buck. Not even caring about the possibility of injury. He gave a louder moan as he was about to come undone. Only for Hawke to pull away. Getting Fenris to snarl at him and give him an angry glare. "F-fucking tease..." He said with a growl to the larger man. His face dark as he took a breath trying to ignore the pain of not being allow to finish. He gave a whine as he tried to move himself against Hawke's hand. In an attempt to have some sort of friction. The larger man only laughed at him as he leaned back. Fenris just now noticing his leather pants were completely off. As well as of a large bulge in Hawke's own pants. Though judging by the size. Hawke really was much bigger than him. He watched as Hawke removed his pants. He paled slightly as he swallowed. Now Fenris knew what size he was. His member was around six and a half inches. But compared to Hawke's... Damn that human was just big all around. His member stood at around close to nine. Not exactly over it but close to it. And if the length wasn't intimidating enough. The girth of it was. It was nearly as thick as Fernis's wrist.

Fenris backed up from Hawke swallowing a bit. As if noticing the elf's discomfort for what seemed like the third time. Hawke felt like he had to reassure the elven male. But he was going to a be a bit sadistic about it. "If you are intimidated then you don't have to. After all..." Hawke trailed off giving a sick he slowly stroked himself. Gettting the elf to look.

Fenris glared at him. "W-what are you getting at?" He asked the larger man.

"I highly doubt you would even be able to take it." Hawke teased.

Fenris seemed to growl at him. "Of course I can! I-i... just...um..." He trailed off.

"You just...What?" Hawke said as he leaned forward grinding him shaft against the elf's.

"Mmph! I. Ahh~" Fenris closed his eyes. A bit lost in the feeling at the moment to actually give a response.

"Tell me how bad you want me." Hawke said leaning forward licking along the elf's neck. All the while rubbing himself against the elf.

"J-just shut up. And t-take me, already!" The elf hissed. Seemed he couldn't stand being teased.

Hawke pulled back from him enough to line himself up with the elf. Placing his hands about Fenris's waist to hold him in place. He began to press the tip of his flared head against the elf's only exit. Hawke didn't wish to hurt the elf unnecessarily. He slowly worked himself against the smaller man. Listening to the light whimpers the elf gave off. He kept at this till he was able to ease himself in. Even if it was only part ways. The look on Fenris's face suggest it was enough. He watched as Fenris struggled to control his breathing in an attempt to relax. The elf was overly tight and hot. Hawke wanted nothing more than to drive into the smaller man. Though he was not that cruel. He waited till Fenris okay enough in allowing him to move. After receiving the signal from Fenris. Hawke began to move himself slowly in and out of the elven male. Earning a light groan from the smaller man. Hawke began to slowly pick up the pace as he watched the elf react accordingly to each thrust. Watching how the elf reacted. Hawke began to drive himself deeper with every push. Seeing the elf brace himself by clutching at the cover of the bed. Fenris shuddered as he felt the larger man's cock fill him almost completely. He felt as Hawke bent over to lick at his neck again. His own member hitting against Hawke's stomach. Hearing the larger man give a low groan. Before feeling the human's hand settle around his member. Getting fucked and jerked off at the same time. Fenris arched his back as he felt Hawke slam into him now with a more fierce pace. The feeling of himself wrapping around the human's entire member. Feeling it run over a sensitive area. He gave an audible moan as he let the covers go to grab hold of Hawke. Bringing his legs to hook around Hawke's waist. He was beginning to feel light-headed as he tangled his hands into Hawke's long hair. Giving a sharp thrust against Hawke's hand as the man bit into him again. Drawing blood. He gave a slight pained gasp as he felt Hawke shove himself in completely. It was enough to make him lose it. As he spilt himself into he large man's hand. Hawke also came inside of Fenris. Biting down hard making him bleed more. Fenris shuddered as he felt the human's hot seed fill him.

As the mind numbing sensation started to fade. A dull throbbing in his lower back, shoulder, and neck became apparent. He felt as Hawke slowly pulled from him. Giving a low moan from the feeling. Hardly noticing the other man lay upon his back. He became aware of a cover being pulled over him. Which was a welcome comfort after losing the heat that Hawke provided. He gave out a yawn as he soon fell asleep. Hawke turned slightly to look at the elven warrior beside him. He felt compelled to move closer to the slumbering male. He let out a breath trying to normalized his own breathing. In truth this physical relation was much different then others. He actually enjoyed the pleasure that resulted. After all Hawke has been with men before. But he was never so invested and drawn in until Fenris. He pulled himself closer to the elf and gave a low hum. Fenris's face was flushed and looked peaceful. Hawke moved to run his hand through the elf's platinum hair. He paused as the elf frowned and moved away. He gripped the elf's hair tightly and pulled him back. The frown disappearing as his mouth opened. The blush coming back on the smaller man's face. Seems the elf is too accustom to the rough handling. That was good. He much rather be harsh than gentle. He let go of the elf's hair and shoved him away. Hearing the man give off a growled hiss. Hawke watched as Fenris pushed himself up against him. Hawke smirked before lowly speaking. "You are mine, now. I won't let anyone take you from me. For there will be consequences." Giving that threat as a promise to whoever tried to take Fenris from him. Hawke gave a yawn as he slowly fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N Well there you go! I wanted it to be shameless explicit smut.  
But... Considering how FFN is with stuff like this. It is mostly foreplay and petting and a short intense little romp.  
Nothing too explicit... I hope...**

 **P.S. Sorry for not posting in two weeks I know. You guys are used to me skipping a week not two. Well technical issues with a fried busted charger left the pc dead for over a week. Then this last week to write this story. Thank you for supporting me. And if you guys want give me your favorite scene you wish to see come to life! I will draw it out and post it on my Deviantart page in the Hostile Territory file.**

 **Also. If you guys been wondering. I put "Fenris's" because that's what it says on the game. .w.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48 Hawkward**

* * *

It was a very late Kirkwall morning with slight snow falling outside. Fenris stretched with a yawn beneath the heavy warm covers. He hummed with a smile as he nuzzled further into the pillow. He froze however as he felt a hot heavy breathe upon the back of his neck. Fenris opened his eyes as he swallowed. Not really sure where he was at the moment. As he roused himself from his sleepy state. He became aware of the room he was in. At the realization that it was Hawke's room. He quickly sat up. A sharp pain shot through his lower back. Making him gasp as he placed his hand upon his back. Just now noticing he was completely nude. His face burned a deep red. He casted a quizzical glance to the side to see Hawke. He forced himself to relax as he let out a breath. Recalling what had happened last night. The whole reason for the pain in his lower back. At the memory of what happened, he gave off a small moan. Feeling his stomach tighten as he began to get light-headed. His blood going south due to the image in his head. He shook his head furiously, trying to rid the image from his mind. He started to get up from the bed when a hand grabbed hold of his wrist. He was jerked back against the hard planes of Hawke's chest. Hearing the larger man hum. "Where do you think you're going, Fenris?" He asked with his mouth nearly pressing against the elf's ear. Fenris shivered at the feel of Hawke's free hand running across his chest. Sliding down his abdomen till the large hand cupped him. Fenris let out a sigh then a moan as Hawke started to work him. Fenris started to feel his body get hot as Hawke continued to move along his length. But before anything else could happen however. A knock came from the door. "Jake, sweetie? Are you up?" Leandra called through the door as it was beginning to open. Fenris's face became red as he started to panic. Fenris felt Hawke freeze for a moment before responding. "Mother, wait. I am getting dressed." The door closed then. "Oh I am sorry about that dear. You normally don't sleep nearly well into noon. I was concerned." She said. Hawke got up off of the bed quickly. Shoving Fenris forward. The elf was in a slight daze from how fast Hawke moved. He saw Hawke slip a pair of pants on. His mother calling to him again. "Jake. Are you at least decent?" She asked. Hawke automatically answered yes. "Good, well I'm coming in then." Hs mother said opening the door. Hawke moved to block the door half way opened. His face was starting to stain with a blush. While Fenris hurried to find where his clothes were. While trying to force a growing 'need' to go away. Leandra looked at her son curiously.

"Jake, is something wrong?" She asked.

"Not exactly, no..." He responded.

"Then why won't you let me in?"

Hawke looked off to the side without saying anything. Though his blush was clearly evident. In the room Fenris tried to pull his clothes on but tripped over his chest plate. Causing him to fall to the floor and the armor to clatter. Hawke gave off a growl.

"Is there someone in your room?" Leandra asked trying to look past her son.

"Yes. I have someone with me. Can you please... Just..."

"Oh is it a girl? I can wait downstairs till you both come out." She said with a smile. Hawke's face paled. Wondering why his mother jumped to that conclusion.

"It... isn't a..." He wasn't even sure how he should say this.

"It isn't a what?"

Hawke looked over to Fenris and sighed. Before saying, "Get over here, Elf... I might as well tell her now..."

"Is it that new servant girl?" Leandra asked almost shocked.

"What?! No! Why would I. ... I see how you think that..." Hawke growled before opening the door as Fenris walked over and stared at the ground feeling very awkward.

Leandra was silent as she looked back and forth between the two men. Noticing that Fenris's clothes were put on messily. She seemed confused for a second. Hawke groaned.

"You know Fenris... And... Why am I trying to explain this. You are just going to be disappointed in me. You had your hopes set fairly high for grandchildren. Truth is. I find the idea of being with women repulsive... I'm sorry Mother." Hawke forced himself to say honestly before looking down. Almost ashamed. Fenris was quite shocked by how Hawke was around his mother. For a man who hated being told what to do. He was obedient to his mother. Fenris looked at Leandra, who seemed to be trying to grasp the idea that her son was gay. Without thinking Fenris suddenly spoke up.

"I am sorry that you found out this way. I am very fond of your son and I wished to be with him. If it is alright with you." He said bowing. Though now he wondered why he just blurted that out. Even Hawke was giving him a weird look he couldn't exactly read. This situation was just growing even more awkward by the minute. Or would it be considered Hawkeward? Fenris couldn't really be sure. "I'm not disappointed." Leandra said looking up to her son. Hawke's face was priceless. Fenris never knew Hawke could show something akin to pure disbelief. "I'm glad your happy. But you two better adopt a child!" Leandra said with a laugh. Getting both men to give her an embarrassed looked. Hawke was the first to respond.

"So... You aren't disappointed in me?" Judging by Hawke's voice. He must have expected his mother to not approve.

"Not in you per say. But disappointed in myself for wasting your time with the young ladies I kept inviting over." She said with a slight frown.

"It was a waste of time. But then again I had told you..."

"I know. I know. I just wanted you to be happy. Now. I'll leave you two alone." She said with a light laugh before turning and walking away.

"She... took it better than I thought..." Hawke said with a heavy sigh.

Fenris gave a sigh before picking at the feathers attached to his leather tunic. "I can't believe I blurted that out..." Fenris said walking away from Hawke.

"At least your were honest..."

"Hawke..." Fenris started getting Hawke to look at him. "You do realize this... What we did... was a mistake..." He continued as he looked down to the floor. Missing the way Hawke's face dropped dangerously. "I... I didn't mean to come here for-" He was cut off as a heavy hand latched onto his neck and slammed him into the nearby wall. Getting him to nearly choke and his markings flare. His eyes widened as he looked up at Hawke in a startled panic. Hawke's face had darkened. His head bowed.

"Did you... Just say... This... was a mistake?" Hawke growled out.

"I..." Fenris was cut off.

"That sleeping with me. Was a mistake!" Hawke nearly shouted as his right hand came up to his face. "Are you saying that I am a mistake?!" Hawke growled as he looked up then. Fenris paused as he saw Hawke's face. Blood from where Hawke was clawing himself and what looked like tears. "Do you have any FUCKING idea how I feel? What? Was I not good enough for you or was I too fucking much?" Hawke started to seeth as his teeth began to grind slightly. "I never. NEVER! Done this shit before with a guy... Never... I felt for you. Something I never felt before. All the other times I slept with men. It was just lust but this... You... Were different... There was something there. I felt... And yet... To you.. It was a mistake!" Hawke's body gave a jerk as his grip tightened.

Fenris clawed at the man's hand trying to pry it open. He could hardly breathe. His head started to pound as his vision began to grow dark. Just before he would pass out. Fenris felt his body collide with the floor harshly. Taking a deep breath of air and holding his throat. He coughed heavily as he forced himself to look up at Hawke. Hawke was leaning forward with both hands on his head now. Seems the larger man was trying to breathe. "I... I should have fucking killed you instead of allowing myself to be fooled by your fucking lie! I can't... I won't..." Hawke was crying. Fenris never saw this man have a mental break down that resulted in crying. Fenris felt his heart sink at the though that his words must have broken whatever trust Hawke had for him. He needed to explain what he ment. Before something truly horrific happens to him.

"I won't... I won't let anyone take you from me! I won't let you get away from me. If I can't have you. I will make sure no one else will.." Hawke said taking a step towards him. Fenris jolted from off the ground and backed up.

"H-hold on! Just let me explain what I was trying to say!" Fenris said as he backed away.

"What you said earlier... Was a lie straight to my mother's face..."

"Please. Listen to me, Hawke. I didn't mean that being with you was a mistake!" He ducked as Hawke swung a fist at him. "Just stop and listen to me!"

"Why should I? I opened myself to you. When I never opened up to anyone before!"

"Same here! But you have to understand why I said that earlier!"

"Why should I?!" Hawke said rushing him. Managing to shove him against the wall and pin Fenris. His nails biting into the leather armor. And effectively knocking the wind out of Fenris.

"I said it because I'm afraid!" Fenris said through the sharp pain shooting through his back.

Hawke paused for a moment as he glared at Fenris. Who was beginning to tremble now.

"I didn't lie. And I didn't mean that it was a mistake of being with you... last night like that... It was more than I could have ever dreamed... Though... I'm afraid of something happening to you... Danarius could use you against me. Threaten your life... I know your strong... But I don't want to risk it...You mean so much to me..." The elf managed to make himself say. Holding back the urge to cry. Fenris felt as he was forced to look up.

"I meant what I said... Fenris... I won't allow anyone to take you from me... You are mine... And only mine..." Hawke said dangerously. Fenris swallowed.

"I'm...Sorry that you misunderstood what I was trying to say...I shouldn't have worded it like that..." He said seeing Hawke close his eye. Taking a deep breath before letting it out.

"And... I should... apologize for my violent outburst...I... Should have let you finish speaking before jumping to conclusions...It's just... I really never felt this way about anyone really..."

"Same here... Um... Can we... not let the others know about this?"

"Aveline already knows as much... And it won't take long before the others find out..."

"Then we can cut their tongues out to keep the silence." Fenris jested then trying to lighten the mood.

"Mainly Varric. He has a very big mouth..." Hawke added.

The air about them had cooled down enough that they began to get dress properly. Hawke was hoping that his Mother didn't hear the scuffle that was made. Even getting angry at himself for letting his anger take control of him like that. Fenris was silent during the time getting dressed. He was mainly trying to figure out how to go about with the idea of Hawke being his -dare he say it?- boyfriend. He even began wondering on how their interactions would be. Curious if this would allow him and Hawke to indulge in things both probably have been putting off. After all people can only go without physical contact for so long. Then Fenris wondered if they would even have the time or privacy for such things. He knew Hawke was the kind of person who could not withstand waiting for certain things. Though he wondered where the topic sex was on that list of things Hawke needs. Yet what bothered Fenris even more is that he was still there in Hawke's room. He wanted so badly to just leave. Though knowing how Hawke is. That would not end well. As he finished getting dressed properly. He looked over to Hawke. The larger man was fully dressed now and pulling the bandages off his face. Fenris was slightly curious as he wondered if Hawke felt any pain in his face. The larger man cleaned up the area on his face before putting his head-gear on. Fenris slightly jumped when there was a knock at the door. "Jake, sweetie. I had lunch prepared for you and your special friend~" Leandra called from the door. Hawke gave a groan. "Did she really just refer to me as your special friend?" Fenris asked as Hawke walked to the door. "What is worse is that she wants you to stay for lunch..." Hawke seemed to give Fenris an odd look. Fenris really couldn't read much on Hawke's expressions besides anger and annoyance. In fact seeing any other emotions on his face was a first. Though what concerned Fenris more was now he had to sit with Hawke and his mother. Though Fenris still felt like he just needed to leave now. But that was going to be much, much harder to do. Mainly because he didn't wish to enrage Hawke again or seem disrespectful to the man's mother.

Later that night. Fenris made his way home. That day was extremely awkward in all situations. That morning he wanted nothing but to get out of there. Then he had forgotten that Hawke reacts differently than others. How he could have forgotten that Hawke was one prone towards violence is odd enough as it is. Though the confrontation resulted in him telling Hawke how worried he was. That morning when he woke up. A bunch of thoughts went through his head so quickly it made his mind spin. Then add in the factor of Hawke's mother. Well it just made the situation worse if possible. After the whole lunch ordeal was dealt with. Fenris talked quite a bit to Hawke in his room regarding **them**. Fenris wished to avoid such intense sexual behavior. Even if Fenris did relent a bit on the idea of Hawke physically stimulating him. As long as there was no sort of penetration done by Hawke for a good long while. After all it hurt quite a lot at first. Even so. Fenris wasn't sure he was truly ready for something like **that** to go on between them. So in all. Hawke's harsh heavy petting was allowed. Just nothing more than that. For Fenris's sake. Fenris finally made it up to his room and flopped onto his bed. Giving a heavy sigh as he rolled onto his stomach. He was still puzzled by his ability to actually walk after what went on between him and Hawke. Recalling the image made his blush. The feeling of the dark human's large hands upon him was still fairly fresh in his mind. He shivered as he got up. It was getting colder. He grabbed his sword and head downstairs to the room he prepared. Though. It wasn't as inviting as Hawke's room. Definitely not as warm. He set the weapon down and settled under the thick blankets. A bit too tired to even light the fire-place a few feet away. He slowly fell asleep fully armored.

Early that next morning. Fenris stirs from the sound of a door opening. He instinctively puts his hand on the dagger hidden under his pillow. Though a voice gets him to relax. "Everytime I arrive in the early morn. You ready a blade." The dark voice was amused. Fenris turns to see Hawke walk into the room. Hawke walks over to the fire-place and drops down to crouch in front of it. Meanwhile Fenris curled up more in the thick blankets covering him. Though he watched the larger man. Hawke worked to get the fire-place started. As a small ember started to spread, Hawke got up. Turning around to look at Fenris. "Why are you here?" Fenris manage to ask through a yawn. Hawke walked over to the elf slowly. "We need to help with Merrill so she can leave me alone." He said as he stopped before the elf. Who growled. "You really want to help that witch?" Fenris said giving a disapproving look. "We should get this over with before the cold weather gets far worse. I don't exactly enjoy it..." He said setting his hands on the bed. Fenris inched away. Giving a wary look at Hawke. "Must we?" The elf complained. Hawke leaned forward whispering the word, "Yes." Before jerking off the covers off Fenris. Nearly pulling the angsty elf off too. "Hawke!" The elf snapped as he backed up glaring at Hawke. Who gave off a mild laugh. "I am slightly disappointed that you are not undressed. But this is fine. Now I don't have to wait for you to prepare. We still have a bit of time however. If you wish to make it interesting." The larger man gave off a smile as he edged closer. Fenris blushed and backed up. "How about we just head over to the Hanged Man instead to wait for the others?" He said getting off the other side of the bed. Putting distance between him and Hawke. The larger man growled before relenting with a sigh. "Alright. Might as well see if Varric is up. Besides it isn't that early." The human said while scratching at his beard. Turning from Fenris and walking to the fire. The elf let out a relieved sigh. He was still wary about getting near Hawke due to what happened the other day. Fenris was going to keep his mind from going to dark places regarding the other man. He needed to keep focused on important things. Not that Hawke wasn't important. It was just that Fenris needed to think on thinks that weren't impure. Like Hawke running his hand roughly across the markings and making his way down towards... Fenris shook his head and flushed. He quickly went out of the room after grabbing his weapon. Being followed shortly by Hawke. "Can we head over there now?" He asked forcing himself to hide his emotion from Hawke. The larger man just hummed. "Might as well. Wonder if Varric is up or not..." Hawke murmured before walking past Fenris.

The two of them soon made their way towards the Lowtown district via shortcut. It was still early as there were few people setting up their stalls in the Lowtown Bazaar. Fenris gave a slight huff when he shivered. The temperature was steadily dropping over the last few days. As the beginning of the winter season was closing in. If they were going to help Merril with her stupid mirror. Then that ment they were going to have to camp out on the way up there. Fenris left off a groan of disapprovement. Following after Hawke into the tavern. Almost surprised to see Varric up already and down stairs. Varric saw as they came in and waved with a bright smile on his face. "There you are! And you brought the angsty Tevinter one with you too." The dwarf said with a slight laugh. "The angsty Tevinter one?" Fenris repeated staring at the story-teller with a look of unamusment. Varric just smiled at him. "Well you are like an angsty teen while Hawke is like an edgy mentally disturbed child who is obsessed with death. You should take it as a compliment, Elf. Or is it Bastard Elf? Haven't exactly heard Hawke call you that in a while. You must not be pissing him off enough." Varric said getting Hawke to scoff at him. "By the way Hawke. Did you come up with an offensive nickname for me?I was thinking handsome bastard would be nice. Or magnificent S.O.B. What you think?" He continued. Hawke looked him over before speaking. "Pansy." Varric clicked his tongue and threw up his hands. "I acted like that once! For a good reason too! I didn't want you breaking anything and you did anyway. You even threw it at some poor sod outside!" Varric said hopping of the chair at the bar. "Anyway. We should go get Daisy. Also. Isabela wants to follow. Now. I really don't want to go. But for Daisy's sake I will." With that being said the busty pirate walked up to them then. Fenris and Hawke both gave a groan as they saw the woman. This hike was going to be quite long. Fenris already knew it was. He just had that feeling as they went to get the witch. He waited as Hawke and the others got a few tents to go with them. After all it mostly takes three days going up and at least two coming back. Fenris just hoped the weather wouldn't get worse. He also hoped to the Maker that Isabela and Merril stayed away from his Hawke. Pausing slightly at the thought. He looked down. He shook it off and followed Hawke and the others to get Merrill from her house. This was going to be a long hike. Fenris swore it would be.

* * *

 **A/N Sorry it was a bit short but the next chapter will be longer. I promise.**


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49 That Thing Has Legs**

 _A/N This has nothing to do with the story._  
 _I just think the Song: Leave It Alone by Disturbed. Best describes Hawke._

* * *

Fenris gave a low groan as he hiked along with Hawke and the others up Sundermount. He truly wished Hawke wouldn't deal with the blood mage known as Merrill. Oh how he hated her. One, she was a mage. Two, she was a damn blood mage at that. Three, she got too close to Hawke for Fenris's comfort. He silently glared at the smaller elf. Fenris quickened his pace to be even with Hawke. The larger man ignored him and the others for the most part. Wishing to just get as far as they could for the first day. It was cold on the hike. Making Fenris curious as to how cold it will be when they set up camp. The path they were taking up the mountain was a familiar one. So hopefully they would get pretty far before nightfall. Fenris huffed silently to himself as he stared at the ground as he walked. Crossing his arms while mindlessly picking at the feathers on his vambrace. Not taking notice that Hawke just stopped. Running into the larger man accidentally before pulling back. Hawke turned to look at him before looking at the others. "Is anyone else besides me, hungry?" He asked lowly. Merrill perked up a bit as she went over to him. "Oh I am. I had forgotten to eat before we left." She said while cupping her hands in front of herself. Varric walked up beside her and simply answered, "Yeah. I'm feeling a bit peckish. What about you Rivani?" Isabela looked square at Hawke and smiled. "Oh. I could go something big, hot, and filling. Right now." She said with a purr. Getting Fenris to glare at her. Merrill quickly replied with, "Oh like a big stew? That's very filling." The pirate started laughing at the poor elvhen girl. "Oh Kitten. That wasn't what I ment. But stew does sound good too." Merrill looked at the busty woman in confusion before pouting. "Did I miss something dirty, again? I always miss the dirty things." She whined. Getting Varric to laugh a bit as well. Hawke rolled his eye at them before looking around. Fenris, himself, simply sighed and sat down on a conveniently sized rock. He heard Varric and the two women start talking amongst themselves. For some reason Fenris just wasn't comfortable around the girls at all for the day. He didn't even really understand why he was a bit upset by their presence. Until he looked over to Hawke. He shifted slightly as he watched the larger man. Recalling what had happened three days ago. He quickly looked to the ground as he felt himself start to blush at the memory. He looked back up after a bit to notice Hawke was gone. On the far side of the path, part way into the woods. He seemed to be looking for something. Fenris turned to look at the others. They were seated in a circle nibbling on food they had brought with them. Fenris turned to watch Hawke more. Tilting his head as he saw the larger man inch further into the woods. Fenris's brows knitted together in slight confusion. Curious as to what Hawke was doing. He got up and made his way to where Hawke was. He then heard Hawke address him. "You need something, Elf?" Fenris went to get down beside Hawke. "Just wondering what you are doing. Also. How come you haven't been calling me Bastard Elf anymore?" The larger man shrugged. "Would it make you feel better if I did?" The man asked. Fenris gave a light hum before answering. "I. Had grown quite accustom to hearing you call me such. I wouldn't mind you calling me by that at times." Hawke looked over to him before looking straight ahead. "If you are wondering what I am doing. I am looking at that nug over there." He said. Fenris tilted his head and looked ahead. There really was a nug over there. It was the first time he actually saw one in the wild. Realizing that Hawke was actually hunting the small bunny mole creature. Then remembering that Hawke's diet mostly consisted of meat. Remembering the food that Leandra had served them a few days prior. Heavy beef stew along with liver and chives. Foods that were high in nutrition. Designed to help replenish blood. More importantly. Food designed to fuel someone with a high amount of strength. It made Fenris aware that Hawke doesn't eat much vegetables. Mainly meat. Fenris was brought out of his thoughts as Hawke began to move. Suddenly darting forward after the nug. Popping back up from the bushes a good distance away. Fenris was stunned because of how fast the human moved. Hearing the small creature squeaking in distress. Hawke stood up fully as he flicked his wrist. The squeaking then stopped after that movement. Fenris stood up as Hawke walked back to him. Holding the now dead animal. "I don't know what you're going to eat. But I got something for me." Hawke said. Fenris scoffed. "What. You aren't going to share?" Hawke simply answered, "Nope." Before walking past him. The two of men made their way back to the path. Where the others were at. "There they are. And look. Hawke got a nug!" Varric exclaimed brightly. Merrill and Isabela looked to Hawke as well. Hawke made his way past them. Carrying the nug in his left hand. The same one he used to catch it.

After cleaning the moderately sized rodent. It had begun to get dark. Considering they had left at around noon. They had made quite a lot of progress going up Sundermount. Hawke proceeded to make a camp fire as the others set up the tents. They brought three tents. The women were going to remain in the same tent while Fenris and Varric shared one. While Hawke would sleep alone. As the fire started up. The others had finished. Wandering over to Hawke, who used his knife to slice up the nug. Varric sat down beside Hawke and watched as the larger man set a flat rock over the fire. Varric knew he saw that same polished rock many times. Hawke always carried it with him. "You take over Dwarf." Hawke said as he got up. The story-teller shrugged but proceeded to cook the nug. Hawke walked a fair distance away. Pulling his eye patch off. Frowning heavily at the blood dripping from the inside of the twisted metal. On certain days it bled heavily and some it didn't. He cleaned it of blood and hooked it to his sash like belt. Putting bandages in its place. "Are you okay Hawke?" A small timid voice asked from behind him. Hawke turned to look at the young elf. She must have seen him tie the bandages. She looked up in slight puzzlement at him. "I'm fine." He was very tempted to chase off the pint-sized elf. Though he reminded himself that Merrill was a woman. And he was taught that he should not be mean to women. Though. It sure didn't stop him. "Are you just going to fucking stand there like an idiot? Get by the fire before you get cold." he growled. Merrill withdrawn from him before nodding. "I am getting cold..." She said before hurrying back to the others. The only other person not by the fire was Fenris. Hawke stared at the other three before growling. He really was hungry. But he didn't enjoy eating in front of people besides his mother. He was hesitant to eat in front of Fenris that other day. He ended up taking his food to his room to eat. Giving a sigh as he brought himself back to the present. He growled again as he ran a hand across his stomach. He turned his head to the side as he heard Fenris walk up to him. "What is it Bastard Elf?" He heard the smaller man give a light laugh. "I thought you said you weren't going to share?" Hawke huffed as he began to scratch at his chesthair through the open v-neck of his armor. "I didn't intend to fucking share. I just don't like eating in front of others. Besides. Most of them know of my tendency to eat... Raw meat..." Hawke said. Fenris nodded knowing full well what Hawke was talking about. "It does look a bit disturbing to watch you eat normal food. After seeing you rip off a chunk of flesh from someone." Fenris admitted. Hawke just hummed. Fenris looked at the large human. "If it helps. I took some of the meat before Varric could cook it." He said pulling out a small clothe. Hawke turned to look at him then. "Really now, Elf... Why?" Hawke asked almost suspicious. "I have seen you eat before. You have no problem eating raw meat. Though you are a bit strange when you don't eat cooked foods in front of guests..." The elf said handing the food over to Hawke. Hawke shrugged and dropped to the ground heavily. Unable to sit down gently upon the ground. He reached out and took the food from the elf. Fenris sat down a short ways away. Hawke took the meat from the clothe and ate each piece whole. "It isn't enough to sustain me. But it should do." Hawke said as he finished eating. Fenris nodded and seemed to fidget a bit. "I was wondering. Are you going to be fine sleeping by yourself?" Fenris asked. Hawke glared at him. "I am not a child, you Branded Bastard. Why would you even ask such a dumbass question?" Fenris looked away before crossing his arms. "Well... I... Just thought... You would like some company... Is all." Fenris forced himself to say.

"Really? But I though you didn't wish to do such...Things..." Hawke said leaning forward.

"I don't. At least... Not for a while... Maybe some other time. I am just used to sleeping close to you. Not Varric. Besides he set up a bed roll for Bianca... it's a bit disturbing... I do not wish to know what he does with it in private." Fenris looked off to the side a bit disgusted by the idea.

"It does seem like he fucks it."

"That would hurt. It is also such a horrid mental image..."

"Listen. If you want this to go slowly. Then you should know sleeping beside me. Will only tempt me. I can not stay myself from touching you when you slumber so near."

"Right. Otherwise you would molest me..."

"Not that you're complaining, Fenris."

"Pfft. I complain! Just... Not openly. Maybe just mild complaints..." He trailed off looking away with a light blush.

"Right... And I don't have mild Tourettes..."

"You do curse for no reason at times."

"Yes. But it is not a mental thing... Just me being hungry..."

"Of course. We should get closer to camp. It is starting to get increasingly cold now." Fenris said standing up.

Hawke follows this movement and walks along with the elf to the tents that surrounded the fairly large campfire. They soon turned in for the night. Hawke remained awake to keep watch. Soon going to sleep knowing that if something did happen to come by. Fenris would awaken and alert them. After letting Fenris know it was his watch. Hawke turned in as well. Fenris soon sat by the fire. Making it more lively by adding a few sticks and dry grass. He looked over to Hawke's tent and moved to sit at the open entrance. Hawke's tent was rather large compared to the others. Fenris scooted back further in the tent and sighed. Feeling a bit better than he did earlier that day. He soon fell asleep once again.

It was cold in the morning as Fenris awoke. But for some reason he was reasonably warm. It was still fairly early. Close to around three in the morning. He gave a yawn and attempted to move. Only to realize he was sitting Hawke's lap. He froze. He was sure he fell asleep at the tent's entrance. He was still there. A low dark laugh got his attention. "You must be used to my touch to not wake up as I moved you." Hawke said lowly. Fenris managed to keep his composer. "You should sleep while I finish keeping watch. I suggest you not sleep in my tent if you wish to not let the others know about us." Hawke said pushing Fenris to move. Fenris got up and moved away. Towards the tent he was supposed to share with Varric. Hawke gave a yawn and sat down near the dead fire. Picking up the smooth stone he always carried with him. Fenris laid down in the tent with Varric and gave a yawn. Falling back asleep.

As the early morning turned to dawn. Hawke walked up to the tents and woke up everyone. "Get up. We got to move." Hawke barked. Getting the others to get out of the tent and pack up. It went fairly quickly. Varric wandered over to Hawke afterwards. Getting the large man to look at him. "I don't really feel up to walking considering I tripped yesterday over a root." Varric said. Hawke narrowed his eye and growled. "Lying dwarf. You didn't trip over shit, yesterday." The large human said with a huff. Varric pouted. "But Hawke I really, REALLY don't want to walk... Carry me?" The dwarf asked with a wide grin. Ducking down from Hawke left hand. "You missed!" The dwarf exclaimed before being smacked upside the back of his head. Knocking him over in front of Hawke. "I let you duck so I can fucking smack the shit out of you without leaving a bruise on your smug face. Besides. You are a fool to think I would want to carry your ass. You've got legs. Use them." Hawke said giving off a small evil smile. "Aww... You are no fun Hawke!" The story-teller complained picking himself up from the ground and walking away. Hawke shook his head before getting up from where he was seated by his pack. Looking over to Fenris before giving a low yawn. His attention being brought by the small petite elvhen woman who walked in front of him. "What is it, girl?" He asked. Merrill swallowed before taking a breath. "Umm. I forgot something back at home... I forgot my staff..." She said looking down sheepishly. Hawke gave a low groan before bring his right hand to pull and claw at his face. Groaning a bit louder before looking down at her. "You just realized you fucking forgot it?" He asked stressfully while leaning towards her. "I know. I know. I forgot because I was nervous." She said keeping her eyes to the ground.

"Now what. You want us to go back to fucking Kirkwall just to get it?"

"N-no. I thought t-that maybe... You would have a... A spare?" She asked hopefully biting her lip worriedly as she looked up at him.

Hawke face palmed rather harshly pulling the bandages covering his right eye a loose. Getting Merrill to back up a bit shocked.

"Do I look like I have a spare staff? I am no damn mage, Girl!"

"I'm sorry Hawke... I didn't mean to make you mad..." She whined. Isabela started to walk over to them.

"Don't start fucking cry... When we get to the Dalish camp. I will buy you another one. But you better hold onto it." He growled.

"Oh thank you, Hawke!" Merrill bounded happily at Hawke then and latched onto him in a hug.

Getting the large man to stiffen before glaring a dagger at her. She was short enough to avoid pressing her face into his spiked heart guard. Which in truth should be on his left. Either way. Hawke clenched his hands mindlessly at the air. The tips of his gauntlets cutting into his palms. The urge to just rip this small woman off of him was nearly overwhelming. He set his hand heavily onto her head and forced himself to gently remove her. Trying to hide the fact that he was truly and utterly disgusted that she had touched him. His eye twitching slight as he pushed Merrill away. Stalking off away from her as he shook himself. In some weird attempt to shake the magic off of him. Something a bit hypocritical of him. Considering he was currently in possession of a magical charm that was his sister's. Even if he didn't wear it. The rest of that day went by quickly as Hawke mostly ignored the others as they made progress up the mountainside. Merrill seemed overly happy because Hawke going to buy her something. The others were relatively calm. The night as they camped went by uneventful.

The next morning was a bit slow. Merrill gave a yawn as she hurried over to Hawke's tent as he put it away. "Hawke. Can I walk beside you? The camp isn't far from here. And I want to be right by you when we walk into camp." She said while looking down. Shifting back and forth. Staring at the ground. Hawke gave a heavy sigh as he rolled his eye. "Do whatever you wish, girl." He said as he finished packing up. The elvhen mage nodded as Hawke proceeded to affix his eye-patch upon his head. Merrill hopped over to him. Fenris glared at her as he helped put up tent he shared with Varric. Isabela strutted her way over to the two men. Giving Fenris a look over. Fenris closed his eyes resisting the urge to growl. That woman was something else. As he got up he could feel the dusky pirate walk up behind him. Fenris heard Varric say something then. "Hoe don't do it." Varric warned looking up at Isabela. Before Fenris could react. He felt Isabela grab a hold of his ass. His markings lit up as he jumped from her and whirled around with a growl. "It was too much to resist. I mean I been staring at his back side this entire time. I couldn't help myself. You can't blame a gal for wanting to cop a feel." She said with a laugh. "I told you not to do it Rivani." Varric said before inching back. Isabela rolled her eyes as she laughed. "I didn't hurt him. Just grabbed his ass a bit. What harm could come from it?" She said. Giving Fenris a sly flirty look. The elf was overly flustered and upset by what happened. Isabela was about to move towards him again when she felt a sharp gauntlet grab hold of her hair. Hawke leaned forward and growled lowly. "Don't touch him, ever again. Whore." The large man warned. Getting Isabela to swallow. Hawke let her go and walked past her. Merrill stopped beside her. "I think Hawke was upset by what you did to Fenris..." She said lowly. Isabela fixed her hair. Hawke didn't really pull her hair nor hurt her. It just surprised her really. Isabela pouted as she hurried to follow after them. Merrill hurrying her way beside Hawke again. Fenris walking in front of the larger man. Varric walked along Isabela. Both rogues slowed their pace and looked at one another. Varric looked up to the dark skinned woman.

"The way Hawke reacted to what you did. It was well... Strange. Don't you think?"

"Yeah it was." Isabela said looking ahead.

"Think there's something going on between them?"

"I doubt it. Hawke can't stand being touched. Look how he acted when kitten hugged him yesterday. Also Fenris is the same. Though I remember picking on that elf a year or two back."

"What were you picking on him about?"

"I called him Hawke's boy toy. He took offense. Turned a bit red in the face."

"Hmm. You think those two are involved?"

"Maybe. I haven't seen anything that would suggest it."

"Think we should spy on them?"

"Ohh~ I like that idea."

Both rogues started to make their way back with the other three.

Merrill hummed brightly as she walked beside Hawke. Hawke growled lightly as he tried to ignore the small elvhen woman. Fenris looked up to Hawke and sighed. Wondering how much more Hawke could stand. He looked past Hawke to stare at Merrill. Remembering that he didn't wish to be there to begin with. He was only there because he wished to be near Hawke and nothing more. He wasn't there to help with that witch. He silently growled to himself before picking up his pace. Merrill skipped behind him and a little ways in front of Hawke. She then slowed down to look up at Hawke. Smiling brightly up at hm. Before frowning suddenly. She quickly moved to be on his left side and smiled.

"Hawke. I really need to thank you. I would have been so afraid to face the Keeper on my own." She said. Hawke looked down at her.

"You are lucky I am even doing this shit, Girl." He said with a low growl.

"I know. I know and I really am thankful! I'll find a way to repay you, Hawke."

"Mmhm..."

"Really I will! You'll see Hawke." She chirped.

Hawke gave a sigh and continued walking. The group soon fell silent as they continued their path. Seeing the familiar sights that lead to the Dalish camp. Merrill got increasingly nervous.

"Calm the fuck down, Merrill."

"I'm trying. I just get so nervous when I think about talking to the Keeper."

"The whole damn reason I am here."

"Right. With you by my side. I can ask her for the arulin'holm."

"Right..." Hawke looked off to the side not really believing the small woman.

"Oh the camp is up ahead!" Merrill pauses as she hides behind Hawke. "I am not looking forward to seeing the Keeper again."

"It will be fine Kitten. We're here too." Isabela said walking up to the young mage.

"Thanks Isabela."

With that being said. The group walked up to the camp and entered. The clansmen were staring darkly at Merril. Hawke seemed to go on edge. The feeling in the air was different. Hawke could feel that something was very wrong. He then heard one of the elves close by him. "If you wander the paths of Sundermount. Walk softly. For something out there hungers for the unwary..." The old elvhen man said as he walked past Hawke. Even Fenris and the others looked. Merrill didn't pay attention. She was too focused on confronting Keeper Marethari. Varric shifted back and forth as he walked along with them to face the Keeper. Hawke was the first one to walk up to her. Looking down at the woman. Merrill took a deep breath and stood beside Hawke to his left.

"Keeper..." Merrill said as she found her courage.

Marethari looked to her. "You return to us, da'len. Have you reconsidered this path at last?"

"I..." Merrill suddenly went silent as she lost her courage. Hawke gave a low growl.

"She came to ask you for something." Hawke said quite curtly. The Keeper didn't mind his tone that much.

"...Yes..." Merrill started again. "Keeper, I need the arulin'holm, the ancient carving blade that Master Ilen keeps."

"I see. You wish to rebuild the eluvian."

"You don't have to approve of it. I'm invoking vir sulervanan. I'll do whatever task you wish."

"Well. I'm glad to know I can still disapprove. It is your right. I will give you a service to perform, if you insist." The Keeper said crossing her arms. Disapprovement clear on her face.

Hawke cocked his head to side in annoyment. "The fuck is going on..." Hawke growled. The keeper looked to him and sighed.

"Our history belongs to all Dalish, child, so our clan's most cherished relics can be claimed by everyone. Any Dalish can perform a service for the clan and gain ownership of such an item. For a time. That is what Merrill has invoked. Even if she has chosen to live apart, she is still one of the People." She explained gently.

"Then what is the damn service she must perform?" Hawke asked. Trying his best not to lose his patience with the explanation.

"A varterral has taken the lives of three of our hunters. It lairs in a cavern in the mountainside. Seek it out. Slay it. No one else must fall to its anger. Do this for us, and I will give you the arulin'holm. May the Dread Wolf never catch your scent." She said with a bow. Though the directions where more to Hawke than to Merrill.

The group walked to a path leading out to the mountainside. Hawke stopped and suddenly turned to Varric. "You wait here. I don't need to have to look out for four of you. And considering the last battle we were in. You failed miserably." Hawke said looking at Varric. Who huffed before giving a mock expression of hurt and anger. "Well the elf failed too! He should be put in time out too!" Varric pouted with a smile on his face. Any way to get out of going into a cavern. He is going to just snatch it up. "True... Sit down Bastard Elf. You both will wait here." Hawke said turning from them and walking off. "Now wait a minute! I am not just going to fucking sit here while you three are going to fight off a varterral. I am going with you and that's that!" Fenris spoke slightly outraged that he was going to sit it out. He turned and glared at Varric dangerously giving a hiss. Varric backed up and turned his head. Not looking the elf in the eyes. The two women remained quiet as they followed. Fenris began to become increasingly frustrated. He went forward and reached out. "Venhedis. I am going in there with you-" Fenris was cut off as Hawke shoved him back. His marking lit up as he coughed lightly from the hard push. "You aren't going with us unless you are damned sure you aren't going to fall. You already fell in combat three times. Once with the Tal-Vasoth. Once within the Deep Roads with that ogre. And then with Bartrand. Nearly getting killed the last two times. You think I am just going to let you get yourself killed? You aren't even paying any fucking attention when fighting lately. So you are going to sit this one out unless you can prove you won't fall this time." Hawke said giving a snarl. Fenris glared up at him before taking a breath. The others were silently watching. Hawke was very serious when it came to fighting. If you couldn't hold your own. He wouldn't bring you anywhere to fight with him again. Fenris stood straight as he spoke. "I won't fail." Fenris said glaring up at Hawke. The larger man growled. "You better not. Or I will kill you ever so slowly." He said with a twisted grin. The others gasped lightly and looked away. Though Fenris knew that the threat didn't mean his life was forfeit. In truth. The threat seemed to excite Fenris. "Right. Let us move then." The elf said walking past Hawke who hummed. Varric turned around and walked back to the Dalish camp.

As the group of now four venture on. The air about the path became heavy. As they approach the entrance to the cavern. Several corpses littered the ground before the cavern's mouth. As the group got closer the corpses arose giving off a guttural hiss. Hawke gave a sigh. Corpses never fared well against him or his comrades. They were easily dispatched. "Over already? What a pity." Hawke said but paused. The corpses raise the question. Could the magic that surrounds Sundermount be making these dead warriors rise? And is it effecting this so-called varterral. Hawke gave a curious sound. He never seen a varterral before in his entire life. He wondered just what kind of creature it was. He wondered if there was going to be even more of the undead shambling around. As they entered the cavern. It was bright all-around. Not exactly what one considers a cave at all. There was several brightly colored plants growing about in the filtering lights from above. Despite the warm glow it gave off, the air was cold. Hawke looked around for a while before he noticed something on the ground. Recalling the other day that Merrill had forgotten her staff. The elvhen woman was so focused on talking to the Keeper and then setting off for the varterral. She completely forgot. He pulled it from the dirt and found it to be fully intact. "Merrill. Use this." He commanded. The small elf turned and took it happily. "Thank you Hawke." She said excitedly. Hawke just nodded to her and motioned that they should continue. They continued through the cavern where bright light shown down. Hawke stopped suddenly as he saw a shadow of something from above. The moment he pulled free his axe. Spiders dropped from above. One landing on Merrill as she gave a scream. Isabela hurried to her friend's defense. The spiders weren't even that hard to get rid of. But their surprise drop startled both Merrill and Isabela. "We should keep an eye on the ceiling from now on." The pirate queen said after getting rid of the spider gunk from her white bodice. Merrill giggled a bit. "That's funny, Isabela." The pirate looked over to the mage. "Why is that, Kitten?" Merrill looked over to Hawke. "Because Hawke has one eye." Getting the large man to groan. "Everyone makes a fucking pun about my eye." During this remark Merrill had noticed the body of a elvhen hunter. "No...Raida..." She knelt down to take the hunter's talisman.

"Why was the hunter in here?" Hawke questioned.

"The Keeper would have sent them to recover ancient elven artifacts from the varterral before the camp had to move in again."

"So she sent them to their death..."

"No. Normally the varterral let the Dalish come and go as they please. Something must have provoked it."

"Fucking wonderful..." Hawke murmured.

"Any idea why the spiders have coin on them? Just curious..." Isabela said pulling a coin purse from one of the spiders.

That did get the others to look at her but they shrugged and moved on through the cavern. Crossing a bridge. "It is quiet strange. But the divots in the ground at certain points looked to have been from railing for mining carts..." Fenris said aloud in a hushed whisper. As they continued. They had found another body of the hunters along the way. Merrill said his name was Harshal. As they continued the light that poured from the open wholes in the cavern ceiling were beginning to be less apparent. As the further they went the less light was able to filter in. As the cavern was starting to look more and more like a cave. Even the plants were starting to slow;y disappear as they went along. They soon found another body of a hunter. Merrill called him Chandan. It just made Hawke question why the majority of elves have weird ass names. As they continued forward, Hawke sniffed at the air. Giving a low growl. "I know you're there. Show yourself!" He barked. getting the others to jump. An elven man, clearly not Dalish by the looks, peered his head around the corner. "Hello?" He said meekly before seeing Hawke. Slightly frightened but more over relieved to see someone other than the varterral. "Praise Andrast- I mean the creators. I thought I'd never get out-" He paused suddenly paling as he saw Merrill. "Merrill?" He said as he took a step back. "Aneth ara, Paul. Are you hurt?" She asked walking up to him with a smile. Paul instantly got angry as he backed away more. "Stay back! What do you want from me?" He asked harshly. Though he was starting to panic. "Paul, what's wrong? I'm here to help!" The elven man started to back up even more. "Stay back! Don't touch me!" He yelled. Hawke started to get impatient. What was this elf's deal exactly. Sure Merrill is a dangerous mage but she was mostly stupid as far as Hawke was concerned. "Don't fucking move! Least you attract the varterral's attention!" Hawke growled lowly. The need to just shout at this idiot elf was clawing at him. Though Hawke didn't wish to let the varterral get the drop on them. Even if he didn't know what it looked like. It was best not to get ambushed. "No! Keep her away from me. She's a monster!" He shouted as he turned and took off screaming. "Creators, help me! Someone, please!" Hawke face palmed a bit. Merrill wasn't the monster here. Hawke was. He sure looked the part compared to the tiny Merrill. "Paul no! We have to catch, him hurry!" Merrill cried out. Even if Hawke decided to take off after the elf. He knew that if he did. He would murder the sodding bastard before helping him. Merrill chased after the other elf and so did Isabela. Fenris started after and watched Hawke walk briskly to keep up with the women. They took off down the stairs after the man.

Further ahead, Paul came to a stop to breathe. He suddenly felt ground shake. Hearing a loud thunderous noise make its way towards him. He turned around and looked up. Being stared down by the varterral. He started to panic and fell backward. In an attempt to crawl away from the large beast. It gave a horrendous screech as it held up one of its legs. Coming down with enough force into his chest. Paul couldn't scream as the air left his lungs. Feeling his rib cage shatter and puncture the organs it was ment to protect. He gasped futilely before going limp. His death was swift and agonizing. The varterral gave another screech as it turned around. Seeing the four comrades approach it. It let out a loud roar. "Hold on Paul! We're coming!" Merrill yelled. Completely unaware that he had already died. Hawke gave her a look. He knew that there was nothing to do for that elf. He pulled his axe free and readied himself against the large arachnid like beast.

Hawke charged forward along with Fenris and swung at the forefront leg of the creature. It glanced off as it it was nothing. It suddenly reminded him of the ancient rock wraith. That thing's legs were made of something akin to stone. Even if it looked to be made of wood. Just what was this creature. As he continued to assault it. He was suddenly knocked back by another of its legs. He managed to remain standing. He then took notice that Isabela was knocked into a rock. The pirate stood back up and coughed. Lunging back at the beast. Hawke looked over to Fenris. He was avoiding the creature's legs and was trying to aim at the underside of the creature. Though he was too short to fully reach. The varterral continued to pull up away from him. Even whirling around and biting at him. Hawke saw that Merrill's magic was distracting it a bit. Hawke took a deep breath before letting out a roar of his own that drew the creature's attention. The varterral faced him and sprung into the air. "Well, fuck..." Hawke whispered as the large beast landed on top of him. Its large pincer like claw grabbed onto his chest and slammed him into the ground breaking the rock beneath him. A sharp pain shot up Hawke's spine. It dulled to a low pleasurable sensation that made him shudder. The idea that this thing could probably kill him was exciting. He latched onto the creature's claw and started to pull himself from its grip. The creature gave him a look of confusion. It must have assumed that it crushed his rib cage. Hawke might have looked just fine to the beast. But his rib cage was cracked and he was bleeding internally. The beast picked him up and slammed him back into the rocks. Getting him to cough up blood. All of this happening just under a minute. "No, Hawke!" He heard Fenris yell. He saw a bright flash of light come from the elf. Hawke laughed as he grabbed the claws wrapped about his chest. Using his strength to pry it open as the beast was distracted by Fenris. He could faintly see that Isabela was slumped against ground. Merrill standing in front of her still firing her magic. Fenris struck the back of the varterral's leg. One of the four that were free. The varterral focused on the elf. Attacking by stabbing at the elf. Only striking the ground. Hawke continued to pry open the clawed pincer around him till he ripped the small part of it out. The creature gave a roar and pulled back from Hawke. He got up and latched onto the creatures arm. It tried to slam him into the rocks to get him off. "Get my axe!" He shouted as he pulled himself higher. The creature jumped back and landed trying to shake him a loose. Fenris picked up the axe then made his way quickly. Trying to hoist that thing up to Hawke while the varterral moved about was tiring. But in the end Hawke grabbed hold of the deadly blade and swung down. Severing the left front leg of the creature. It roared as it stumbled forward. The main part of its body now closer to the ground. Hawke jumped off the severed limb and ran towards its right forefront leg. Jumping up and swinging the axe. Missing the joint but still landing a deep enough cut to drop it down more. Fenris copied what Hawke did. Merrill helped as well by making rocks encase its legs. Immobilizing it so it couldn't get away. Fenris swung at the same spot Hawke had swung at. Effectively cutting off the creature's other forefront leg. Hawke swung his axe up to where it caught hold of the creature's neck and pulled to the ground. "Go for it Fenris!" He shouted as the creature tried to pull away from him. Fenris nodded and darted forward. Whirling his blade to where it pointed skyward and thrusted upward. impaling the creature's soft underside. He ripped the sword toward's the creature's stomach. Tearing it open. The contents of the creature's stomach started to fall as a green slime oozed from the beast. The varterral gave a pained screech as he stumbled forward. Into Hawke's pull before collapsing. Fenris and Hawke moved out of the way before it could land on them. Hawke's body gave a jerk as a shot of pain went through him again. His eye wandered over to Fenris who stood within range of him. Hawke drooled openly. Blood dripping from his mouth along with his saliva. He was compelled to pull that elf towards him. To feed off him in order to heal himself. But he pushed the thought aside. He forced himself to walk past the elf. Though Fenris looked at him worriedly. Hawke went over to Isabela as she started to stir. He watched as she picked herself up. "Dear Isabela. Learn to dodge. Love Isabela..." She said holding her head. They then turned to look at Merrill. Who was leaning over Paul's body and shaking him.

"Paul... Maybe it's not too late. Hawke. You can use that ability of your's to heal him. Right! Like you did for Fenris... Varric said you healed him. Please Hawke..." Merrill whined as she started to cry.

"He is dead. I can't use my ability to heal a motherfucking corpse. There is a price for using my ability..." Hawke growled.

Merrill turned back to Paul and began crying. "Why did you run? You shouldn't have run!" She cried. Hawke mentally corrected her by thinking "ran."

"Why did he run..." Fenris questioned.

"I don't know!"

"Are you just going to sit there and cry about it? If so I'm going to be over by the stairs. Just don't take to damn long..." Hawke growled turning from her. His hand pressed to his chest.

"No... Thank you.. I... We have too much to do for me to sit here, bawling. Paul wasn't like the others. He was city born. Worldly. He ran away from Denerim and found us. I thought if anyone would understand, he would. This... something is very wrong. I want to see the Keeper."

Hawk began walking and stopped by the varterral. Pulling the creature's heart from the mess and putting it up after wrapping it. They then made their way back through the cavern. "Paul... What was he thinking. He acted like I was a monster..." She said still whining a bit.

Fenris looked at her sharply. "You are a monster." He spat. Getting Merrill to cry a bit.

Isabela glared harshly at him. "You're not helping..." She said.

"Good." Fenris said sharply back at the pirate.

"Hawke is a monster too. Aren't you going to talk shit about him?" Isabela pointed out with a light growl. Knowing full well what Hawke has done in the past.

"No. I'm not. Because Hawke doesn't possess magic. He isn't going to turn into a mindless abomination." Fenris countered. Seem what Isabela said hit a nerve.

"Oh. So what he does now is that of a good person? We all know Hawke is a murderous psychopath." The pirate shot back.

"She has a point. To dismiss the crimes I have done to others is not wise. Beside. Merrill is a mewling kitten compared to me..." Hawke said slowly as he looked at Merrill.

"True. But you killed them for a reason. They were a greater threat to others than you are. You are a man who preys on predators."

"It doesn't justify it. Even if people won't say shit to me."

"No one hates Hawke like Hawke hates Hawke." Isabela suddenly chimed.

The group fell into silence as they continued on their way back through he cavern. Merrill walking along close behind Hawke with her head down. Speaking up every now and then. "The way everyone looked at me in the camp when we arrived... What have they been saying about me? They must think I'm worst than the blight! I've never hurt the clan. They have no reason to be afraid of me. None of this makes any sense." They soon made it out of the cavern. Merrill continued to frown as she tried to figure out what exactly has been said about her and who has been saying it. They make it back to camp and see Varric smile and wave at them but his smile disappears when he sees Merrill. Questioning the other's about what happened. Eyeing Hawke swilling a several potions. The group walked through camp and straight up to Keeper Marethari. Though Hawke had started to wonder back in the cave. How the fucking hell was Merrill suppose to kill that Varterral on her own. Even going as far as to think they wished to see Merrill killed. Hawke walked up the Keeper.

"The Varterral is dead."

"Ma serannas. I'll breathe easier, knowing that we will lose no more people to it."

"We found these..." Merrill said handing over the hunter's clan amulets.

"I'll return them to their families."

"We lost Paul. In the cave... He fled at the sight of me, straight into the varterral."

"Many of the clan fear you'll bring back the corruption - or worse - from the mirror."

"And where did they get that fucking idea?" Merrill said angrily. Getting Marethari to looked shocked as her mouth fell open. Hawke closed his eye and resisted the urge to laugh in that moment. Varric was right. Merrill was repeating what he said. The others held their tongue but they found this entertaining. The Keeper glared at Hawke knowing full well it was his doing.

"I am their Keeper, da'len. It was my duty to warn them. It's still not too late for you to return to us. Reconsider... there's no need for you to live alone."

"Must we go over this again? You'll never accept what I'm doing."

"The eluvian is a trap. It cost us Tamlen. it led you to blood magic. Will you let it twist you further from who you really are?"

"And who am I? We done what you asked. Honor our bargain. Give me the arulin'holm."

"Hawke... Because Merrill won't listen. I give this heirloom of my clan to you for safe keeping. Please... Don't let her do this." She said handing over the carving blade before walking off. Merrill perked up.

"Thank the Creators! I thought... maybe she'd go back on her word."

Hawke glared at her. "The Keeper said you turned to blood magic because of the mirror..."

"I... the shard I picked up was corrupted. I couldn't cleanse it without help. The Keeper refused. She said it belonged to another time, and should be left there. So I found a... spirit. It gave me the power to purify the mirror through blood magic."

"Bullshit. I never heard blood magic purifying anything." Hawke growled.

"Neither have I." Fenris chimed in giving Merrill a dirty look.

"There's nothing inherently evil about blood magic. It's magic, like any other. The power that contaminated the mirror was too strong to be driven out by normal means. If I had piles of lyrium lying about. I could of used that, but I didn't. I used what i had."

"Is it even fucking worth it? I mean having your whole clan turn against you..."

"You know what it's like to lose everything Hawke... Not just our land and freedom, but history, stories, language, magic, rituals. Even our gods are gone! It is a sacrifice, but if the mirror restores even one fragment of the past, it's worth it."

"No it's fucking not." Hawke said shoving his hand into her and turning abruptly from her. Storming off. She gasped from the pain of impact and looked after him. Before realizing what was in her hands. Her eyes widened as she held the carving blade close to her chest. 'I knew he would understand. He always understands!' She thought as she began to cry. She dried her tears and followed him. The group left from the Dalish camp and began to head down the mountain. All the while Merrill couldn't stop thinking of how amazing Hawke was. Sure he was rough around the edges. But she felt like he was a big softy deep down. Even though she was mostly wrong about him being nice. She even misread the messages he was sending her. She saw them as him caring for her but being too tough to show it. Despite him not caring.  
They continued until they set up camp and went to sleep early. Mainly due to them being drained from the fight earlier.

* * *

 **A/N Aw Merrill You misreading everything my dear.  
Hawke isn't nice. He is a sick bastard -w-**  
 **Also was busy during the holidays. Also happy new year!**


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50 Suspected**

 _The first half of this chapter was fun to write.  
_ _Also the view-point switches from Fenris to Aveline_

* * *

It was late into the night when Varric turned in from standing watch. Having let the others sleep after the harsh battle that had been with the varterral. Merrill exclaiming every detail to Varric prior before they slept. He wandered over and tucked himself in, under the light cover after waking Fenris. Fenris arose and gave a yawn along with a stretch. He went and sat down beside the campfire. It was starting to die so the elf decided to feed the fire a few logs. He gripped his great sword and leaned against it. Giving off another yawn. It was very late as the moon shone high in the sky. Fenris suddenly became aware of a low pained gasping groan. The voice which gave it off was none other than Hawke's. Fenris turned to Hawke's tent and stared. He heard the large man move about in the tent. Fenris jumped back slightly as Hawke bursted forth from the tent gasping for breath. Doubling over and coughing harshly. He was clutching at his chest digging sharpen nails into the drake-skin leather. His eye wide beyond compared. He began grasping at his throat as he surged forth from his tent. Unoriented as he lumbered off towards the trees. Fenris stood up and abandoned his sword as he walked over to Hawke. Fenris slowed down as he came up behind the larger man. "Hawke... Are you alright?" He asked. His voice filled with concern. Fenris gave Hawke worried look. Noticing how Hawke held his hand over his chest. Having seen Hawke clutching at his chest the entire walk back from the cave where the varterral was fought. Fenris could recall when he saw Hawke spit up blood from being slammed into the rocks by that creature. Fenris wondered if Hawke was still being effected by that. After all. Hawke appeared paler than usual in the moon's light. Even the man's hair was dull and lacking the usual sheen. The larger man was breathing heavily. Hawke turned slightly to look at Fenris. The was blood coming from the man's mouth. Fenris swallowed slightly. "Hawke..." Fenris took a step closer to the larger man. Fenris felt his chest tighten out of slight fear, he wasn't just concerned. He was afraid. The man he actually cared for why Hawke was in pain. Without truly thinking. He reach out and set his hand upon the dark man's face. Hawke's eye widened before narrowing. Not entirely sure what the elf was doing either. "You are hurt still, Hawke..." Fenris said. Hawke's rough breathing prevented him from giving off a huff. "No shit, Bastard Elf." Hawke said slowly. As he spoke more blood fell forth from his mouth. Fenris pulled back from him before reaching down and searching through his pouches. "Will a potion help you?" The elf asked. To which Hawke replied painfully, "No..." Getting Fenris to look up at him. Before he hurriedly dug through a different ouch and pulled forth a large vial and held it forward. Slightly shaken but determined. Hawke eyed the vial before swallowing. "Is that..." Fenris nodded.

"It is.." Fenris said taking a breath.

"How did you acquire this?" Hawke questioned as he turned to lean his back against the tree.

"That you need not know."

"You do know when blood rots, correct?"

"Yes... this is fairly recent... "

Hawke clenched his teeth as a pain shot through him.

"Hawke please..."

"Is it yours?"

Fenris looked down not really meeting his gaze.

"It is... During the fight with the varterral... Look. I saw what happened to you. I know what you can do to other people... When you..."

"I can endure. My body will heal itself... With time..." Hawke said breathing easier now. But a slight pain still lingering.

"Like that time you used it to heal me... You were bleeding heavily..."

"Yes. It won't last for much longer. Don't fret..." Giving Fenris an observant look. A small smile playing on his face.

"R-right..." Fenris looked away with a slight blush by the look Hawke was giving him.

He started to back away until the vial he held was taken from him. He looked up to see Hawke down it before looking back to him.

"To be honest it tastes much better from the source..." Hawke says licking at his teeth. As he leaned forward his eye even with Fenris's line of sight.

Fenris swallowed before backing up. His eyes darting over to the camp which wasn't that far away. His vision brought back to the man in front of him. Hawke wiped away the blood from his face. Though the smile evident still remained. Fenris could have easy turned away from the larger man but he didn't want to. He was a bit lost in the larger man's gaze. Up until the moment he felt Hawke's hand around his throat. He suppressed a gasp and allowed himself to be brought along with the larger man. Being brought much further from camp, Fenris was released. "We can continue conversing here, as to not wake the others." Hawke said looking through the trees to the sky. Fenris crossed his arms with a huff. "That isn't the reason you dragged me further from camp, and you know it." The elf growled. Hawke laughed lightly before turning to the elf. "True. You were always smarter than the others. Far smarter in fact." Hawke said with a flirty tone. Fenris blushed and looked off to no where in particular. "Let us not forget that you came to me out of worry. Even knowing what pain does to me." Hawke purred sickly. Fenris flushed harder. The shadows and darkness prevented Hawke from seeing this. Fenris knew very well what Hawke's kinks were. The thought of taking advantage of such perversions never came to him until now. Though now that Hawke mentioned it. It was hard for Fenris not to think of it. The capability to make the larger man lose it, was a tempting idea. A bit too tempting. Sadly, Fenris was not exactly versed in teasing others in any manner. Leaving Fenris to stand quite awkwardly beside Hawke. Fenris felt that the air about him and Hawke could easily turn sexual. Considering Hawke has a blood fetish among other things. It was quite possible. It left the branded elf torn. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch Hawke. Wanting it to be returned in the same fashion. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to do such. Though. It didn't say how Hawke would conduct himself, however. The man's thought process wasn't what one would consider normal. Fenris stood in silence until it became unbearable for him. "Just do it..." He said. Hawke looked over to him and raised his brow.

"Really now? You will not fight back against me?"

"No..."

"Such a pity." Hawke sighed before sitting down.

"Excuse me? I am offering myself willingly. And you just turn away?" Fenris asked a bit irked by what Hawke was doing.

"Giving it up so easily takes out all the fun." Hawke gave a mock pout. Which in truth was down right disturbing.

"Should I rather fight back against you? Knowing full well that you will get what you want?" Fenris was starting to get increasingly mad.

"Well of course. One of these days you will be able to fight back against me. Though you seem to limit yourself as being weaker than I am. And just accepting your fate. It is so depressing really."

"Wait... You actually believe that I can be stronger than you?" His anger fading.

"Of course I do. I know there is someone out there stronger than I am. I don't wish for that person to be a coward. Now. If someone like you were to kill me. I would probably know peace." Hawke said giving a sigh. Fenris sat down beside him then.

"But I wouldn't want to kill you. I have no reason to. You are..." He trailed off. Not sure how to put it. His feelings for this man was still strong.

"Still a valuable pawn in trying to rid your life of Danarius. Do not think I haven't figured out why you stayed. After what happened with us... You could have left for good. You said you cared for me. You were afraid that he would kill me. But that doesn't get rid of the fact that I can still kill that magister just like you have planned such a long time ago. After all. We think a like more than you wish to believe." Hawke said as he stood up.

Fenris was shocked by what Hawke said. Considering what he said was true. Fenris never planned on falling for this man. The reason he had indebted himself to Hawke to begin with was to gain a forcible ally that would help him kill his former master. But the feelings he developed for Hawke couldn't convince him to run from Kirkwall. He couldn't run from Hawke. And the fact that Hawke picked up on it. It always proved he was far smarter than he let on. Fenris sighed as he stood and followed Hawke. Pushing his feelings and worries of the future aside. He looked up. "Has you wounds healed up finally?" He asked. Hawke gave a light hum. "For the most part. It was internal. So if the pressure continues... I will need to let some blood spill out. Shit. I even know for sure that I am going to have a massive bruise upon my chest." Hawke said almost laughing. Fenris frowned. "Don't take your health so lightly Hawke. Despite what you believe. There are people who care for your well-being." Fenris scolded. "Whatever. Just get to bed. It is still night. And you need the rest more so than I." He said running a hand through his hair. "Right..." Was all Fenris said as he walked over to the tent he shared with Varric. Laying down and sighing. Still worried about Hawke.  
The next morning Fenris awoke from his sleep. Being roused by Varric. "Come on elf. We got to move." Varric said as he strapped Bianca to his back. Fenris reluctantly got up.  
The morning went by pretty quickly as they traveled. Merrill was overly quiet. Seemed something was bothering her. She was bit depressed by the looks of it. She walked closely to Hawke. The large man seemed to regard her warily. The whole monster ordeal still weighing heavily upon her. Not that Hawke really gave a flying fuck. From what he could understand is that she got what she went to get. That she should get over herself. But. That wasn't how he was taught to treat women. So he majorly remained silent and ignored the small petite woman. Not far behind Fenris walked adjacent from Hawke and Merrill. Further behind was the two rogues were walking side by side. Isabela leaned over to Varric.

"So. You sniffed out anything between big boy and lanky?" Isabela questioned.

"Pfft. Is that what you're calling Mister Psycho Kill-A-Lot and Broody?" Varric said returning a question.

"Mister Psycho Kill-A-Lot is too long. Big Boy sounds much better. Besides. I like lanky~"

"Yeah well. All I know is that Hawke takes offense if you touch Fenris. Why? Shit if I know."

"I think there is something going on between them. I just know it!"

"Hmm. I agree. Something has to be going on. Sure they were friendly to each other before but now. They are a bit too friendly. And Hawke is anything but friendly."

"I know. Also did you notice that little red thing wrapped around Fenris's wrist?"

"Yeah I did. It looks a bit too familiar..."

"That looks like the same bandana that was wrapped around Hawke's old battle-axe."

"The edges are flayed and scorched just like it. Coincidence?"

"No... Can't be. You know, Varric. Part of me thinks it has something to do back when Fenris confronted Hadriana."

"Yeah. You told me about that. Didn't you say Fenris handed Hawke that bitch's heart?"

"Yep. Sure did."

"Hm. I might have to look into that. Also Fenris was acting really odd a few days back before while we were coming up this way."

"I am telling you there is something there!"

"Right!"

The two rogues looked at each other and nodded before hurrying to catch up with Hawke and the others.

It was nearing nightfall as they saw the distant lights coming from the lanterns of Kirkwall's outer gates. Instead of camping for the night. They hurried their way to get through the gates before they closed. A guard greeting them. "Hawke. You and your friends returning from a camping trip?" The guard asked. Hawke looked over at the guard in the low light of the torch. "Donnic, was it?" Hawke asked. "Why yes. You best hurry yourself and your friends home before the night watch. Though I am sure the... Captain~ Wouldn't have any complaints." He said shaking his head as if he was trying to chase away some stray thought that had him a bit flustered. Hawke mostly ignored him afterward and went off to drop Merrill off. Who was reluctant to leave Hawke's side and even wished for Hawke to stay. He simply told her "No." Merrill nodded in surprised understanding. Almost like she wished to be as strong as Hawke. She even smiled brightly as she said goodbye.  
The next stop was by the Hanged Man to drop off both rogues. Hawke gave off a yawn as he walked past the tavern along with Fenris. Both the rogues looked after them. In all honesty both tried to get the upper hand on both warriors. In attempts to spy on them, yet both rogues fail every time when they get close enough to them. Both warriors call the rogues out. Both Varric and Isabela just now finally figured out how far behind they had to be for the warriors to not hear them. Sadly. It was the same for them. They couldn't hear Fenris nor Hawke, either. It would have been so much simpler had the warriors kept journals. But sadly they don't. Both rogues watch as Fenris and Hawke make their way to Hightown.  
Upon entering Hightown. Hawke and Fenris were alone for the most part beside the night guards walking about. The two warriors continued on till they reached the Hawke estate. "Well. I suppose I will see you some time tomorrow?" Fenris asked suppressing a yawn. "I just need to let my mother know I am back. I am going to spend the night at your place." Hawke said walking up to the door. Fenris tilted his head for a moment before standing straighter. "Really? I... Suppose... You can spend the night... Though it is going to be cold until the fire is started." Fenris said looking off to the frost set upon the statues. Finally becoming aware of how cold the stones beneath his feet were. Slightly cursing as a slight pain raised through him. He had ignored the cold for the most part. As least the path they took on Sundermount had lush grass to stave off some of the cold. Fenris stood a bit awkwardly outside the Hawke estate. Hawke having walked in without talking. He shifted back and forth in place. Until Hawke finally came out. "Here Mother said this might fit you. She bought it herself. Even bought me a pair..." He said shoving a pair of lightly furred boots his way. "Kirkwall isn't as cold and wet as Fereldan. At least we aren't ankle-deep in slush." He said walking past him. Quietly staring at the armored boots lined with fur in his hands. Hawke didn't seem sure they would work for him. Fenris hurried past him. The two finally make it to Fenris's mansion and walk in. The stone is just as hard and cold as it was outside thanks to the large gaping holes in the roof. His main room was not going to heat up as quickly as he liked. But he much rather his main room than the one he made just for the snowy parts of winter a few steps away. They had settled rather quickly into bed. Fenris not being able to allow Hawke to sleep upon the floor for a second time. Though Hawke didn't let him sleep on the floor either. Thus they just shared the elf's bed. Fenris could feel his heart race a bit. Considering what happened the last time they had shared a bed. Though it was quickly pushed aside as Hawke was the first to fall asleep. Fenris sighed as he to began to fall asleep as well.

As the morning light filtered through the various holes in the roof. Fenris awakes to notice Hawke isn't beside him. He is confused for a moment before getting worried. His mind wandering back to the idea that Hawke may still be hurt. He got up out of bed quickly. Looking around his room slightly panicked. He calmed quickly as he heard the larger man's voice. "Don't fret Fenris. I didn't leave." The larger man said as he walked back into the room. Seems the larger man was chewing on something. Which by now was fairly evident given the man's darker tendencies. Fenris shivered with a bit of disgust until realising it was from something in his kitchen. Still the blood was rather evident, that what Hawke was currently eating was raw. "How do you not get sick?" The elf inquired as he walked over to his friend. Though in truth he felt very strongly for this particular friend. All things considered. Still grateful that Hawke was more than understanding once his rage was settled. Anyway, back on topic. Fenris looked up to Hawke before reaching out and jabbing the larger man in the chest. Hawke paused eating to glare at the elf. Swallowing before responding. "Fuck off elf. I told you I am fine." Hawke growled. Fenris just hummed before stepping back. "Just curious is all. Normally a bruise -visible or no- would result in pain upon applied sharp and -or- soft pressure." Fenris practically explained. Hawke rolled his eye before he raised up another piece of meat up to his mouth. "Wait... That looks like part of the meat I had set aside to make a recipe I been studying!" The elf started to get upset. "Don't eat that!" He huffed before trying to swipe it from the large human. "Since when are you cook savvy?" Hawke shot back before raising the meat out of the elf's reach. "I do prefer to eat something that doesn't remind me of oppression, Hawke." The elf growled sharply. "Then you should eat more of my mother's cooking." Hawke offered before kneeing the elf in the chest. Fenris latched on to the man's leg and gasped. "Ow..." He could hear the large man laugh at him. Fenris growled before landing a hard shot the larger man's crotch. Hawke immediately shoved him to the ground before giving off a snarl. "You little fucker!" Hawke gave Fenris a heated glare. Fenris himself couldn't help but laugh. "That is pay back from all the hits you landed on me in the past." Fenris said as he shot the man an evil smile of his own. Hawke growled more before taking a step forward after setting the meat down. Fenris paled suddenly and tried to back away as Hawke suddenly jumped at him. Fenris tried to turn around in an attempt to crawl away but Hawke dragged him back. Hawke placed his hand firmly against the elf's chest. Glaring down at the smaller man before starting to laugh. Getting the elf to sigh in relief that he wasn't going to be assaulted. "You are a son of a bitch. And I enjoy that about you, you Branded Bastard." He said giving a smile. A genuine one at that.

For what seemed like a perfect moment was suddenly ruined as a knock came to the door. "Hawke? Fenris? I'm knocking this time. Leandra said you two would be over here..." A familiar voice called out. Hawke growled and let his head drop to the floor beside Fenris's. The metal spikes resounding off the stone floor. Fenris sputtered as the man's long hair fell in his face. The paused silence in the room made the guardswoman cough. Aveline called out from the behind the door. "I really hope I am not interrupting anything..." The embarrassment seeping into her voice. Hawke gave another growl before getting up from off of Fenris and pulling the elf up as well. Fenris dusting himself off before moving to pull on his armor near the bed. "What do you want Aveline?" Hawke asked opening the door.

"Good you two aren't necking. That's a relief. I must admit. I was shocked the last time." Aveline said as her blush faded. Though she seemed in a bit of a daze as if recalling something.

"Don't be like that whore..." Hawke spat.

"Maker's breath, I'm not! But I didn't come to talk about that. Maybe some other time though." She said slightly laughing. Fenris came over trying to see Aveline but ended up trying to shove Hawke out of the way.

"Move your ass Hawke." The elf growled. Hawke started to put his weight on the elf. "Venhedis! Your heavy..." Fenris backed off and gave a hiss. Aveline just laughed.

"Anyway. Emeric really wants to see you. Today. I stress. TODAY. So let's go to the Gallows right now. I want him to quite harassing me."

"Fine. Let's go silence the old man." Hawke said walking past her.

Aveline sighed as she watched the large man walk past her. Casting a glance at her elven friend. Who was wrapping something up. Aveline smiled as she walked over to Fenris.

"So did you ever get your frige?" She asked. Fenris looked at her and looked amused.

"In a sense yes. It really is strange though. It actually is just a box full of ice filled with woodchips. Makes me feel a bit like a noble really." He said.

"Good. It's a nice feeling to be sure. Come on now. Let's go make sure Hawke doesn't commit a murder on that old templar." She said. Fenris nodded and followed her.

As they left the elf's mansion they walked through Hightown. Aveline walked along side Fenris. Looking at the man for a while. She noticed he seemed a bit happier as of late but also somewhat shy when around Hawke. It was a bit alarming at first considering how rough and curt Fenris's demeanor was. But in comparison to her dark friend Hawke. It seemed a bit pale. Though there were also changes in Hawke as of late. Over the years Hawke has grown more friendly towards her and those who call themselves Hawke's friends. She was glad to see that. Even taking note that Hawke stopped his questionable alcoholic abuse. Though part of her was afraid he'd fall back into it. Things were going pretty well despite some horrible things happening to her friend's families. She still missed Bethany and still didn't give a rat's ass about Bartrand. But how Hawke and Varric handled that was their own business. Aveline stopped her mental musings as she felt a familiar stare being thrown her way. The way Fenris's jade forest eyes locked onto her was a bit... flustering. She admits that when she first met him. She was sure to openly stare. He was rather impressive for a man of his stature. Aveline even preferred Fenris being physically close to her over Hawke. She didn't dislike Hawke as much as she says she does. Though for a woman like her to be by those two. And actually connect with them on a common ground not just as warriors but as equal minds. It was much more refreshing than with Isabela or Merrill. Not that she had something against the small petite elf girl. It was just. Well... A woman just wants some eye candy that doesn't hide in the shadows and cower behind her. Varric was smart sure. But she doesn't fully trust him. And Anders. Well... He is just a straight up pansy. Though back to the fact that Fenris was looking at her. She just knew he was trying to come up with something to say. Then. There it was. "It feels good to be captain of the guard, yes?" Fenris said stepping a bit closer to her. She smiled slightly before looking at him. His eyes avoiding hers out of habit alone. Both cute and sad at the same time. "No. I will not change the patrols around your mansion again. There already been too many questions." She responded. Getting the elf to hum slightly as a look of mock shock and hurt crossed his handsome features. "You wound my pride with such accusations." He said with a slight mortification to his voice. As if he was rightly offended. She nearly laughed at this. "But you were going to ask." She said leaning in a bit towards him with a knowing smile. He looked at her before looking away with a soft smile. "Eventually." He said closing his eyes and shrugged. Giving up. Fenris really was sweet at time. It got her to laugh. "I'll look at the roster and see what I can do." She said. Getting to see him smile brighter than before. She actually enjoyed it when he smiled. Sometimes she wished Hawke smiled like that without having some twisted idea fueling it. She sighed knowing that she would probably never see Hawke actually smile out of happiness alone.

They continued on their way through to Lowtown. Not running into any of the others as they went. Which was a bit odd to Aveline, considered how nosy Varric and Isabela were. She knew exactly why Anders didn't go around with the main group much. Two reasons. Hawke and Fenris. They both hated Anders with a passion. Though it didn't stop Anders from trying to sway Hawke's mind. Though it never really works out for Anders. She, herself, didn't like him that much. She sure wasn't his friend to be honest. As they continued down through the lower part of the city they finally arrived at the docks. Noticing the involuntary way Fenris shuddered. She knew very well Fenris didn't like the docks. Mainly due to the smell of fish. They managed to get a boat heading for the Gallows. As they sat on the boat. Aveline began to recall a few messages she kept receiving in her office. Just remembering that she never exactly brought up the complaints to her friend. She looked over to Fenris and tried to ignore the need to lecture him again. Hawke was busy terrorizing a poor sod close by. She shook her head disagreeably. Before looking at Fenris and sighing. She just had to say something. "All right I am just going to say it. Fenris. You need to present yourself better." She said so suddenly that Fenris slightly jumped before looking at her. "What are you talking about?" He questioned. His voice dropping to a more serious tone than earlier. "You're squatting in Hightown. I sympathize with your claims, but your neighbors have influence." She said crossing her arms. After all she was trying to look out for her friend. "My claims?" He seemed to ask a bit confused. "To the estate. Rightfully stolen isn't exactly something I can forward to the viscount. Be more discreet about... well. Yourself..." She said almost sadly as she felt his gaze turn a bit harsh. He gave a slight sneer before responding. "I shall endeavor to exist with less offense." He said before looking away. Wonderful. Now Aveline felt bad. Until she heard Fenris give off a sigh. "I know you mean well Aveline. And I shouldn't be harsh with you. You are my friend. And you are just looking out for me. You have my thanks." He says looking down to his feet. Aveline remained silent before smiling then. "You should really wear shoes to. That would help." She heard him scoff. "What are you? The Captain of Fashion now?" He said leaning against the wall as he shifted in his seat. Aveline looked over to Hawke then. "Think I should call Hawke out on the fashion disaster he's wearing?" She asked uncrossing her arms. "I like what he's wearing..." Fenris admitted. Aveline thought for a moment as she saw the way Fenris was looking at Hawke before smiling deviously as she slide over to be seated next to her friend. She couldn't help but let her inner Isabela come out. "I bet you would much rather enjoy it if he wasn't wearing anything at all." She whispered low enough for just Fenris to hear. His reaction was priceless as his eyes widened and his face immediately turned red. Fenris gave off a weird laugh before coughing nervously almost as if he was starting to sweat. He jumped up suddenly and pointed. "Look. We're here! Let's go investigate that thing we were suppose to investigate." He spoke quickly as he hurried off. Aveline managed to hold in the laugh until it was painful. To see Fenris fail so miserably at being eloquent was the best thing she ever saw. Though now Hawke was giving her a queer look as if asking what in the void just happened.

As they got off, Aveline watched her elven friend stare mostly at the ground as they looked for Emeric. Finally finding him standing by a pillar all by his lonesome. Aveline watched as Hawke walked up to the templar. Hawke looked down at the man and growled lightly.

"Emeric... You've been bothering the captain..." He growled. The older man looked up a bit. Not bothered by Hawke's tone.

"I've spent the past few years continuing my investigation into the murders of Ninette, Mharen, and the other women. I believe I finally have a suspect, a man named Gascard DuPuis." Emeric said with all seriousness. Hawke snorted a bit. Possibly at the outrageous name.

"If you know he's guilty, do something about it."

"Ah, and here we get to the crux of the matter, I cannot lay a finger on DuPuis. When I became convinced of his guilt, I went to the city guard and demanded that they do something."

"My men raided that house. There was nothing and I've heard no end because of it. You were reprimanded, I hope." Aveline said sternly.

"Meredith forbade me from continuing my investigation. But she didn't say I couldn't seek outside help."

"So you were the only one investigating these murders?" Hawke questioned as his patience was starting to grow thin. Aveline didn't understand how Hawke could lose patience so easily while talking to other people outside the group.

"Yes, unfortunately. The templar order believes this is a matter for the city guard. And the city guard, well... they reject my evidence and dismissed the murders as isolated incidents. They don't care either."

"I've seen your evidence... scattered notes, conjecture, nothing remotely usable. You can't expect us to act on your hunches alone. Look what happened when we did." Aveline commented, still sore about the issue a few weeks prior.

"The guards who searched Gascard's place were incompetent. They didn't know what they were looking for."

"Fine, if you insist."

Hawke gave a groan before starting to turn away. Seems like he has lost what little patience he had left on this. He never did like his time being wasted, when it wasn't him wasting it.

"No one else believes you. Why the fuck should I?" He complained.

"Because you saw the sack of bones. You found Ninette's hand. You can't tell me there is nothing to this. What if one of the women who died was someone you loved?" Emeric nearly shouted. Hawke gave a pause. Aveline looked to her friend. Seemed something unreadable flashed in his eye. Emeric kept speaking. "If Gascard DuPuis is guilty he must be stopped before he kills again."

Aveline looked at her friend and saw he wasn't moving. Seemed Hawke was deep in thought. She gave a sigh. "Then we will investigate DuPuis, if only to put this to rest." She said looking back at her friend

"If I am wrong, then I'm wrong. As least I'll know for sure."

Hawke finally moves out of his strange stupor and lowly says, "There are no promises being made here, old man..."

"I'll take whatever help I can get. You will need to go to Gascard DuPius's estate after nightfall. Please figure out what DuPuis is hiding. If he's innocent, find evidence to prove me wrong. It's just that simple." He said crossing his arms.

Aveline saw as Hawke stalked away. Something just changed in him. He wasn't known to love women's company nor have any feelings of love towards them. Herself included in this. The only person Aveline could understand that Hawke felt any sort of love towards was his mother. Hawke seems compelled to under take things when they hit a nerve in him of what is right or wrong to him. Hawke pretty much considered his mother to be sacred. At least. That's how Aveline sees it. Hawke remained silent for the rest of the day as they went back to Hightown and waited for night fall. They waited in Hawke's estate. Hawke seemingly never leaving his mother's side. It bothered Leandra a bit to see her son just staring at her like that. It seemed like what Emeric said really did hit a nerve inside Hawke. As night fell over Kirkwall the three warriors made their way through Hightown. Aveline leading the way to DuPuis's mansion. Which was right next to Fenris's mansion. Fenris seemed to glower at this. "This is why I don't present myself better. I just hate my neighbors..." Fenris complained as he walked behind Hawke to the door. Aveline sighed.

Hawke pushed open the door which was surprisingly open. Even a bit shocking considering it was now nighttime. They walked into the large mansion and looked around. It was extravagantly decorated. The foyer was huge compared to Hawke's. The place looked to be able to fit at least several families inside of it and then some. As they walked forward Hawke paused as they came upon the desk where letters were put. Aveline turned to ask Hawke what was wrong when she felt a chill run down her back. She felt something appear out of thin air behind her and she lunged forward before whirling around pulling her sword and shield free. There were shades every where! She pushed her surprise aside as she began to fight. Like always. Fights with these such creatures were short-lived. Not even a challenge. She sighed. What was a bit of a challenge was the rage demon. Though it seemed a bit off as it tried desperately to avoid fighting Hawke. Odd. Even going as far as to ignore Hawke's taunts. As it finally fell to the ground and disappeared. Aveline let off a huff before making a comment. "I don't think the guards raiding the estate met that particular reception..." She looked over to Fenris who placed his hand upon a letter at the desk. Still hold his sword aloft. "Gas-card. T-thank you kindly for your last sh... shipment. It arrived in almost perfect con-dition. The requested payment is on its way. Please use the um...Artifact? With care. The creatures can be dif... Difficult to control, even for an exparn...Experienced mage... A pleasure doing business, Your friend..." Fenris said alone. Aveline smiled a bit. Fenris really has gotten much better at reading. He still messes up a bit. But he is getting through it. Though she then frowns as she thinks over what was just read. "Gascard went through a great deal of trouble for something." She said. Hawke looked over to Fenris. "You still have trouble pronouncing... Though you are doing a shit tone better than I ever could." Hawke said lowly. Getting Fenris to nod with a bit of a smile before he looked around. Settling his sword upon his shoulder. Aveline quietly though how in the world could he do that so nonchalantly. Same with Hawke. The axe seemed easier but the sword was a bit dangerous. The three warriors walked up one of the staircases. They entered into what appeared to be the dining area. More shades sprung from the floor. They were quickly dealt with. Aveline looked down at a letter on the table. "Messere DuPuis. This is in regard to your inquiry into missing mages. I would like to remind you that the duty of seeking out missing mages, if there were any to begin with, would fall to the templars of Starkhaven, not a minor nobleman from Kirkwall. I would also like to take this opportunity to remind you that the Circle of Magi, as a whole, does not welcome casual inquires about the mages in its care. Thank you, First Enchanter Paddick." Aveline looked a bit confused. "Why would Gascard be inquiring about escaped mages from Starkhaven?" She asked aloud, the two men merely shrugged as they continued further into the mansion. Though at one point Hawke seemed to muse aloud. "I feel like I should be fucking stealing right now..." Aveline sighed. "We're aren't stealing and I wish you would quit with the casual swearing with that word." She said a bit annoyed. "I ain't a thief but a murderer and also. Fuck you, GuardBitch." Hawke retorted. Aveline suppressed a laugh before low-key whispering, "Dangerfluffe." All she heard was the word "Bitch!" thrown at her. Then hearing Fenris angrily whisper a shout of, "Enough!" They continued on through the mansion. As they entered a room Hawke raise his head and started sniffing. "I smell blood. Hehe... It smells sweet..." He said wandering over to a large vial and several little ones. "Blood mage... Wonderful." Fenris spat. Hawke started to reach out for it but was snapped at by Aveline to leave it alone. He gave a weird bark back at her before leaving out of the room. Soon they entered another room. It lead to a grand stair case. As they went up they came upon a small table at the third floor. Aveline looked this letter over as well. "Messere DuPuis. Please accept my humble apologies for the recent events. The templar, Emeric, has been reprimanded for his wrongful accusations and for rousing suspicions within the city guard that led to the raid on your estate. I will see that he is restrained in -she forgot to write 'the'- future. Sincerely yours, Knight Commander Meredith." Aveline read aloud as she set the paper down. "Clever. He stopped Emeric from investigating by getting Meredith on his side." Fenris said lowly. The other two warriors nodded. As they continued through the house they found women's clothing. Fenris made a comment that they may have came from the women. Leaving out of that room and heading to the other. Aveline noticed that Hawke became a bit restless. Seems the dark man could hear something she couldn't. Even Fenris was reacting oddly as they approached the door.

As they walked into the room. They were presented to a suspicious scene. A man cornering a woman. The woman looked up hysterically. "Help me! He's gone mad!" The woman screamed with tears in her eyes. Hawke immediately let out a guttural growl. It ceased the woman's crying. The man turned in surprise and shock. "You're not... you're not him!" The man seemed to exclaim rather quietly. Hawke stalked his way over to the man and stopped right before him. The man, who can be called Gascard, froze in place.

"Shit I... know what this looks like, but I didn't hurt her!" He exclaimed.

"I am no fool. Do you take me for one, mage?" Hawke growled. Gascard paled.

"No. i didn't mean... I don't know why you are here, but there's a killer out there, and I think he is playing us both!" He said taking a step back.

Aveline noticed a slight change in Hawke then. Something wasn't right. Gascard continued to plead. "Just.. just let me explain!"

Hawke tilted his head to the side. His long hair following as it draped down. Aveline swore she could hear the man's teeth grinding.

"If... I hear anything... I don't like. You. Are dead." Hawke growled. Aveline moved closer to Hawke's left side where Fenris stood. The woman in the corner seemed stunned as she looked at Hawke and Gascard.

"Several years ago, my sister was murdered. The bastard's now in Kirkwall, killing again. The same way he killed my sister." Gascard started. Aveline noticed Hawke start to tick slightly. That wasn't good.  
"It starts with a bouquet of white lilies. He sends them to each new victim. Alessa was going to be next. I took her so he'd have to come to me. I was finally going to face my sister's killer, but then you showed up..."

The woman named Alessa looked up. "He's lying! He hurt me!" She cried.

"I've explained this! I need your blood to track you down if he took you. It was for your protection!" Gascard said placing a hand on her.

"Let go of me!" She cried pulling away from him and running out the room.

"She'll go straight to the city guard. They'll ruin everything."

Hawke remained silent. Aveline was worried. She heard Fenris speak up.

"The Captain of the guard is right here." Fenris said pointing at her.

"Right. Why not tell me?" She responded looking at the mage.

"Why? I don't want him arrested. This isn't about justice. I need to be the one to bleed him dry." Gascard said angrily.

"Selfish little shit. How many have you risked by keeping this to yourself?" Aveline stated. Quite upset herself. Though she noticed something different about Hawke. He's starting to twitch again. Hawke gets particularly violent towards people who are lying through their teeth.

"You... Are a filthy liar. I hate... Being lied to..." He said taking a step closer.

Gascard frowned heavily as he took a step back. Suddenly firing a bolt of electricity at Hawke. Right in the large man's face getting him to snarl. "No. I've worked to hard! It can't end like this!" Gascard shouted. Hawke lashes out blindly at the man with his razor-sharp gauntlets. Managing to slice open the man's chest. The cut wasn't deep but it was enough for Gascard to panic and run. As he bolted from the room and sealed the door with a magical barrier, demons sprung from the floor. Aveline drew her weapon and shield as a shade attacked her. She saw Hawke shake his head furiously as he lashes out using his hands. Clawing one of the demons. He must have been temporarily blinded by the blast of magic to his face. Considering Hawke was nearly blind to begin with. Either way. Her along with her warrior brethren readied themselves for a fight. The demons were weak as usual. They weren't meant to last against them. They were merely a distraction. Aveline looked to Hawke to see blood coming from his only good eye. The eye itself was covered in a light red film. Hawke was literally seeing red. The man was simply outraged by what happened as he stormed over to the door and proceeded to kick it down. "Get back here fucker!" Hawke yelled. Fenris gave the man a worried look as he followed after Hawke. Aveline herself followed suit. The three warriors had to fight though more demons as they pursued Gascard. Going through door which was previously locked. Heading deeper into the Dupuis mansion. For a moment it was calm as they entered the study. Hawke seemed on the verge of just being plain out feral. Then again. The man loathed the idea of anyone getting in his face. Even being struck in the face made him go crazy. His face and his hair were things that no one should ever mess with. They continued into a library where they were more weak demons. The killing of these creatures didn't satisfy Hawke at all. Though he seemed to give a growl as he clutched at his chest. Odd Aveline didn't remember him getting struck in the chest. They continued on further coming to face a desire demon. The shades and randomly generated abominations were nothing compared to the power driven by that demoness of lust. She laughed at them as she shot magical bursts at them. Hawke ingnored the shades and abominations and went straight for the desire demon. The creature retreated from him and tried to evade. Hawke swung his axe to latch around her neck and pull her towards him before slamming his hand into the demoness' stomach. Effectively ripping out her insides. Aveline winced. Even if that thing was a demon. Seeing something like that be done was unnerving. Though Fenris seemed to dish out just as much hatred for these creatures. After the other demons were downed. Aveline took off in a sprint to follow where she saw Gascard flee. She could here her two friends follow after her. What she didn't know was the speed at which Hawke moved. She heard him coming just in time to dodge to the side. Hawke slid across the floor as he turned sharply to ram through a locked door. How did he know which door to take. Until she remembered that Hawke could smell Gascard's blood. He could very well have been blinded. But he was known for tracking a person down just by smell alone. Something more befitting of a savage dog.

Though there in the dining hall they were in mere minutes ago. Gascard stood with his staff held in front of him. Hawke stalked toward the man. The demons swarming him. He simply swung his axe about him. Slicing through them. Gascard backed up and began to pull power from the bleeding cut across his chest. It swirled in a storm around his body as if being carried by a small tornado around the mage. Gascard must have been planning to use a very draining spell to require that much blood. Aveline and Fenris both braced themselves for the attack. That was. Until they saw Gascard start to choke and clutch at his chest. The blood that swirled about him began to circle Hawke. Gascard began choking more as he coughed up blood. His left eye began to tint red as blood began to seep from it. Aveline couldn't believe what she was seeing. As this was happening to Gascard. Hawke stalked over to him. The mage's blood disappearing as it whirled about Hawke. Hawke latched on to the mage and held him in place. Hawke leaned his head back before bringing it forward at an angle. Aveline nearly screamed as she saw the sharpened spikes of Hawke's eye patch slice into Gascard's face, eyes, nose and mouth. His pained and choked gagging mixed with the sounds he was making were sickening. Hawke jerked his head back quickly. Blood spraying from where the metal ripped out from the mage's face. Hawke let him collapse to the floor. Hawke then took a very deep breath and seemed to sigh in relief. Aveline was speechless. "Hawke... You're able to breathe normally again..." Fenris asked. Aveline shook her head and looked confused. Fenris looked at her before answering. "We fought a varterral when Hawke went to help Merrill. That creature crushed Hawke's rib cage I assume. He was having some internal bleeding..." Fenris said a bit grave as he looked worried for Hawke. Aveline remained quiet for a moment before looking down and walking out of the room.

As long as Hawke was okay now. Then there isn't anything to worry about. She was just trying to rid the image of what Hawke did from her head. She heard the two warriors follow her out of the mansion. "We should go tell Emeric that Gascard is dead..." She said. The hurried their way to the docks. Hawke busied himself with cleaning the blood off of himself as they made their way there. Aveline could have sworn Hawke had licked himself a few times. She shuddered. She was glad that she wasn't a reaver like Hawke. Not that she knew exactly what that was. It had begun to be evening as they made it onto the boat. Having been stuck fighting at the DuPuis estate since late last night. The adrenaline keeping them awake. As the boat docked at the Gallows. Fenris gave a yawn. Aveline was just getting over what Hawke done. They walked through the large courtyard like area and looked for Emeric. At one point. Hawke glared darkly at a familiar templar with a white beard. Aveline had to get Hawke's attention back on what they were doing. That's when a young recruit looked at them oddly before approaching. "Aren't you Hawke? Emeric left not long ago. He said you arranged to meet tonight." Hawke gave her a withering look. "There is no such arrangement." He said. She didn't seem to mind his tone. Though she did look rightly confused. "But you sent him a message. I still have it with me." She said showing Hawke the letter. Hawke growled. "I can't fucking read nor write. So who wrote it?" He said curtly. The recruit looked shocked. "Strange. Well, I don't know. Emeric's been acting strangely for months. It's probably a misunderstanding. Someone else might have sent this and he probably got confused." She said walking away. "That isn't good." Fenris said. They left and got back on the boat. After arriving at the docks. They looked everywhere. There were so many alleys in Kirkwall. Till they heard a scream as they walked through an unknown dark alley back lot. They quickly made their way into the uninhabited neighborhood to find that a demon had slain Emeric. Hawke looked somewhat amused. "Looks like the Blooming Rose lost a customer." He said with a sick morbid humor. There wasn't just a single demon here. The was a desire demon as well as several shades. A battle ensues that lasts longer than usual due to both Aveline and Fenris losing steam from being up for nearly two days straight. Hawke wasn't faring any better. But he was on a blood high. Which was the only edge the three had. After dealing with the demons. The same templar recruit came up to them. She must have followed them. She had her weapons draw. Seems she heard the fighting but was a little too late. She looked down at Emeric's corpse. "Some mage sent those things here to kill him... Why would anyone...Oh, Maker. The murders. Emeric was right. He was getting too close. He suspected a man named Gascard DuPuis. Did he do this?" She said. Fenris gave a tired yawn. "He's dead already..." The recruit looked scared. "Then who sent the creatures? Whoever did this is a dangerous apostate that Meredith will want found. I will see to it personally." She said. Aveline spoke up then. "My guardsmen will find Alessa, the woman who was with Gascard. She might still be in danger." Aveline said. The recruit nodded. "Thank you for your help in this matter. If you learn anything more, please come to me." She said before hurrying off. Aveline sighed. "We might as well go home. There is nothing we can do now." Aveline said. Hawke nodded a bit. "I'm going home. I need to see how Mother is doing..." Hawke said before walking off. Fenris followed after him. I am going to do the same. Just hope your men find Alessa..." Fenris said as he left as well. Aveline sighed and walked a different route to the barracks. She had a lot of work to do now.

* * *

 ** _A/N I enjoyed writing this. Also I am going to involve Aveline much more for this act.  
_** ** _And in those. We will see things her way. So mostly her thoughts.  
I kinda wanted to put some info where Aveline shown some attraction to both Hawke and Fenris.  
Mainly due to their respect of her. Sort of like a crush thing. Because she finds it easy to talk with them than Donnic._**


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51 Like a Bitch in Heat**

 _The long road is by far one of my most favorite quests to do._

 _Focused on Aveline then switches to Fenris. And even focuses on Donnic!_

* * *

It has been several weeks since the incident with Emeric. Aveline paced in her office many times. They had found Alessa in good health a few days after what went down. She was a very nice woman. The so-called murders that apparently been happening had stopped. Making Aveline wonder if it was all just Gascard's fault. Either way. There wasn't much happening in Kirkwall now. It was just a strange sort of peacefulness. Which was starting to bother Aveline for some reason. Hawke hasn't been doing anything to break the law as of late. Making her wonder if he truly was getting control of his anger issues. He has been doing very well. Unlike herself. Aveline has been slipping as of late. Especially every time she sees Donnic. She just can't explain how she feels. And it was starting to drive her mad. She couldn't quite talk to him casually. She wanted to but every time she got near him she would freeze up on the spot. She continued her pacing in her office as she sighed. The whole reason for this was Donnic. She couldn't move to make any such advancements on the man. Aveline frowned as she stopped her pacing. She needed help. She suddenly had an idea. She could ask Hawke and Fenris to help! They were a couple. Even if them being together was a bit questioning. With that in mind she hurried out of the barracks. She made her way to Fenris's mansion instead of Hawke's. She knew that Fenris could persuade Hawke to go just about anywhere.

It only took her a short time to make it to her friend's home. She looked around and noticed it was picked up some. She headed through the mansion after knocking. No one had answered. She made her way up to his room and found the door was opened. His room empty. A low dim fire still going. She looked around for a moment. There was food and drink still on the table. Fairly recent. So he had to be here somewhere. She decided that it wouldn't hurt to look around. If he asked. She could just say she was worried. With that she looked through the other rooms and some went to the kitchen. Recalling that there was a back entrance to this mansion that had its own private courtyard. There was a way to get to that courtyard from a side alley however. Aveline wandered through the kitchen to the back door. Exiting out of it and looking around. She paused as she looked ahead. She could feel her face heat up a bit. Fenris was outside training with his sword. Now there was a reason she blushed at this sight. She was accustomed to seeing him mostly clothed during training. She had seen him training before indoors. It was freezing outside but he still wished to train. The spring month had just began and the temperature had started to rise. Fenris was in the yard training without a shirt on for once. His whole upper body bare. She never seen that before. In all the years she knew him. She could mentally check seeing her other friend topless off the list of things she sees of her friends. She was a bit saddened by the fact that he wasn't exaggerating about the markings. They stretched across his torso from his arms and ran into his pants. She managed to keep herself from allowing her eyes to travel lower than that. After all she knew he wore tight fitted leather clothing. He normally wore a tunic draped down in front just like Hawke. She just kept staring at him when a sudden thought popped into her mind. She wondered if Donnic looked this drop dead gorgeous without a shit on. She was brought out of her musings by what sounded like a shocked tone of Fenris's voice. "A-aveline?!" She snapped out of it to look at Fenris. His face blushed. Why was he blushing like that? Then it hit her. Fenris was overly shy about being seen like this. Where as Hawke didn't give a damn. She saw Fenris step back and move his great sword to the front as if trying to cover himself. He really wasn't comfortable. "Maker I am so sorry Fenris." She said before quickly turning. Even though there was nothing for Fenris to be worried about. It wasn't like she caught him with his pants down. Still Fenris wasn't comfortable showing off his body. She knew that much. She heard him move to retrieve his tunic from somewhere near by. "Again, I'm sorry about that Fenris. Though there really isn't anything to be shy about. I mean I seen Hawke with his shirt off too." She said trying to distract from the situation that can only be described as embarrassing to Fenris. "That's because he doesn't care how people look at him. I... do... however..." Fenris said trailing off. Just to humor him and make the situation light she then said. "I could take my shirt off so we can both be embarrassed." She gave light laugh at the idea. "Yes and make me look the pervert. I don't think so Aveline." He seemed to lighten up now as a small laugh escaped him. "Any way. What is the reason your here for?" He asked walking up to her. She hesitated for a minute before turning around. He had his normal tunic on. The one that goes with his chest plate. He had his sword resting on his should. How he was able to balance it was another question entirely. "Right. Well. I need your help along with Hawke's for a delicate matter." She said. He tilted his head in slight confusion. "Your talking about Hawke. A man incapable of delicate things." Fenris stressed. Aveline sighed. "I know. I know. Just. Please. Meet me in my office. I don't know who else to ask. And I much rather not ask anyone else." She said almost pleading. She watched as her friend gave a sigh. "Alright Aveline. I'll get Hawke and meet you there. Though. You could give me more information to work with." He said looking at her. "I... Rather not... Just know it is really important." She said before leaving him. She seemed in a rush.

Fenris gave a sigh as he made his way with Hawke to the Viscount's keep. Finally convincing Hawke to actually follow after nearly an hour. Hawke was very demanding on what the situation was. After all. The larger man wanted nothing more than to be productive for the day and gorge himself on some relentless training regimen. Which in all honesty isn't really such a bad idea. Lounging around doing nothing all day is what one would consider lazy. Something he didn't see Hawke as being. Hawke however says training isn't something productive. Just something to vent his rage. Either way. Fenris walked up the stairs of the Keep with Hawke. Who seemed to be struggling to stay 'nice' towards people. Well as nice as Hawke could be that is. They finally made it to Aveline's Office. She seemed to be discussing something with someone. Hawke huffed as he looked the man over. Fenris remained silent as he stood with Hawke in the corner. She dismissed the man and sighed heavily. "You'd think the captain of the guard could requisition a templar or two, but no, that would be demeaning. Can't have them working for the people when eternity needs a nanny. " Aveline said looking over to them. Hawke walked up and yawned. He looked at her and sneered. "Poor girl, can't make everyone jump on command?" Hawke said with a sick smirk. Toying with her. Aveline shook her head.

"I'm captain, not viscount. I didn't expect to sleep through this. The occasional night would be nice, though. And it's mostly your fault."

"Say what now..." Hawke growled.

"The coin you brought to this city turning it like a lopsided cart. Look I'm just harassing you. You are like the center of a hurricane." She said slowly.

"Bitch all you want. But I know you are loving every second as captain."

"They would have to drag me out of here. And I am sure some are lining up to try. I already know you are one of them. I hadn't had time to follow you around constantly. But I know you try to do right. But anyway, enough of that! That isn't what I need of you right now." She said shaking her head. She seemed a bit fluster. Just like she was an hour earlier. "Hawke... I need... a favor that I can only trust to you two. Mainly you." She said then digging through her desk.

Hawke growled lightly. "Oh shit... What now?" He groaned.

"It should be a small matter, but I worry. I need you to give something to Guardsmen Donnic. Here, in the barracks. No questions, and he is not to know it's from me." She said handing over a box. Hawke was a bit wary at what it was as he took hold of it.

"Why not just have someone else do it." he growled.

"I just... need a friend to do this. Please..." She said looking up at him. Fenris shifted in his spot as he remained silent. He wasn't sure what was going on honestly.

Hawke gave a low snarl before answering. "Fine. I'll help you. Whatever it is you need." He said gruffly.

"That sounded oddly sweet. This is.. strangely difficult. Please, hurry back with his reaction. I appreciate this Hawke. I really do." She said.

Both Fenris and Hawke looked at each other as they left her office. "The fuck do I look like. An errand boy?" Hawke growled. "Just do this for her Hawke. She hardly ever asks you for much." Fenris said as they walked to where Donnic should be. He was standing by a table, stretching. "Guardsmen." Hawke said forcefully. Getting the man to jump slightly.

"Serah Hawke. It's been some time. You're here in Hightown now. Right? The captain mentioned it. I see your uncle now and then on my patrols but... we don't talk." He said smiling.

"Look just take this damn thing. It's for you." Hawke said shoving the box to Donnic. Getting the smaller man to stumble back.

"A-all right..." He started. Looking at the box confusingly. Opening it to see what's inside. "It's a copper relief of... marigolds? And it helpfully says so. Marigolds. Well. How crafty. Is there a meaning to this I should know?" He asked hesitantly. From what Donnic knew. Hawke wasn't a nice man you could casually talk to.

"Tell me. That this. Wasn't a waste of my fucking time." Hawke snarled. His eye flashing with a bit of anger. Donnic stepped back and swallowed.

"I-i... can't do t-that..." He said looking straight to the ground. "R-right. Well. I'll see you later. I am um... Sure wer both have things to do of varying import." He said turning around.

"I'm not seeing the sense to this..." Fenris said lowly as he followed Hawke from the room. Hawke seemed upset. They made their way back to the office and Aveline was waiting.

"You're back. Of course you are. You're efficient. Get things done. Good or ill. So how did Donnic react?" She asked hopefully. Hawke glared her down as he walked up to her. Aveline's smile faded. Fenris moved to stand beside Hawke.

"As stunned as I was, I wager..." Hawke didn't take his growing anger out on Aveline as Fenris thought he would. Aveline looked down.

"I thought it was clear. Metal is strong. Copper ages well. Flowers are soft."

Hawke's face dropped to that of sheer and utter confusion. All sense of anger just vanishing completely. Hawke was literally stumped. He just simply said, "What?"

"I've clearly gone about this the wrong way. Don't talk to him again. Just... take this. The patrols for next week. Post it to the roster and just... Listen.

"All right... Though I am starting to feel like you just want to have me around..." Hawke seemed a bit weirded out. If that could be said for him. Seems the whole ordeal was confusing him further. Fenris had to admit it was confusing him as well.

"I need to know exactly how he reacts. That's Key. Thank you."

"So much doubt. Unusual but clearly important." Fenris says lowly almost to himself. The two of them walked out. Hawke handed the paper to him. "You do this. I am going to stand here." Hawke said. Fenris nodded and posted the paper to the roster. He walked back over to stand by Hawke. It didn't take long for some of the guards to notice the new roster update. Brennan looked at the roster and called out to Donnic.

"Hey, Donnic, whose pucker have you been greasing to get Hightown?" She asked a bit upset. He came out and seemed shocked.

"What? You're daft. I'm working dockside on those smugglers." He said walking up to her.

"Says here you're guarding the square. Always been a make work job, that one. You someone's pet?"

"Check your eyes It's a mistake."

"Says the pet." She said walking off. Donnic running his hand over his face as he looks at the roster.

"You have got to be kidding me. What did I do to get that post?" He groaned.

Hawke butted Fenris towards them. Fenris looked back and hissed. Swatting at the larger man. Considering he met up with this particular guard on his walks back home. He actually talked to Donnic before. He walked up behind Donnic. Brennan walked up to him then. Fenris paused as he looked at her. She looked at him and sighed. "Good things always happening to that bastard. Right funny that is. How favors spring up around here." She said looking at him before shaking her head. "Clear off now, alright?" She said walking past him. Seemed she needed to vent to someone. He walked closer to Donnic and he too turned around. "I don't know why anyone would embarrass me with a patrol like this. Guarding the market? Is that all the captain thinks I'm worth?" He said walking back to the room he was previously in. Fenris went back to Hawke and gestured towards Aveline's office. After explaining what Donnic said Aveline frowned.

"Donnic thinks I'm punishing him? But Hightown is a safe patrol. A reward."

"You wanted his reaction." Fenris spoke up. Hawke shifted in his spot. Partially fiddling with his hair.

Aveline started pacing then. Both Fenris and Hawke watched her. "All right. I can fix this. I need... I need a three goats and a sheaf of wheat. You'll take them to his mother." She said pausing her pacing.

Hawke leaned forward and stared at her. "The fuck..."

Aveline looked down to the ground and fidgeted. "It's a dowry tradition. Maybe it will smooth the process."

Fenris shook his head and looked at Aveline in a bit of shock. "A dowry? Then... this isn't about accusations?"

"No, it's not."

Fenris looked up to Hawke Then. "She's courting the man. With a fear reserved for dragons."

The larger man was in silence before he closed his eye. Both Aveline and Fenris could hear as Hawke was trying not to burst out laughing.

"How... Exactly, did you think this shit would work?" Hawke asked covering his mouth. Something he rarely ever did.

"I don't know what I thought. I've been focused on being a captain for so long, that's all I know."

"But... You were married, were you not?" Fenris asked gently.

"That was... a long time ago. It was easier. Or seemed to be."

"Bullshit. You aren't one to hesitate. You always speak your mind. It's annoying and endearing at the same damn time." Hawke huffed. Removing his hand from his mouth.

"It's just... fear. I know It's foolish, but I can't get away from it. What about you and Fenris? How do you two deal with the danger of your lives. You with your violent temper and him with things I rather not discuss out of respect for him." She points out. Both men looking at each other then. "The likely hood of you two hurting each other outweighs a lot of benefits. Yet you two handle just fine, despite your differences." She said slowly.

Hawke remained silent as if he was actually given this a lot of thought. He remained silent and didn't wish to talk after. Fenris was the own to speak up. "We... aren't the best example, Aveline..."

"But you understand. I feel paralyzed. I hate it." She said looking up at Hawke. Who sighed heavily before looking at her.

"Why don't I just drag him in here and you can tell him." Hawke said then. Aveline stepped back.

"Oh really? And how would that look. Me commanding my guard to... to... It wouldn't work..." She said looking down. Fenris gave a sigh before speaking up again.

"If the existing relationship prevents a new one, go somewhere you are equal."

"What, just go out somewhere? Like it's that easy?"

"Shit. Even I wouldn't turn you down." Hawke huffed.

"Tell Donnic... invite him to the Hanged Man. Don't tell him about me, make something up. It's a surprise or just you or a group. Anything to get him there. He's not like the others. I don't want him to think he's meeting the captain." She said walking up to Hawke. Who groaned as he turned around. Nearly storming out of the office in a huff. Fenris hurriedly followed.

Donnic sat at a table confused on what was going on today. He assumes the first and strangest thing ever, Hawke. The captain's dark disturbed friend, Hawke. There was something not right with that man on many levels. But to receive an unnamed gift from him was even stranger. He didn't know much about Hawke other than him being a ruthless mercenary who killed without remorse. It was very difficult to even hold eye contact with that man. Donnic mainly looked at Fenris than Hawke. Fenris was another one of the captain's friends. Fenris was much easier to approach than Hawke. Still. It didn't explain why Hawke gave him the gift. To make things a bit stranger was the roster posted recently. How could the captain do this to him? Was he not good enough any more? It was frustrating. He stopped his musings as he felt the table shake. He looked to the floor from the corner of his eye. Why did the room seem to darken when that man comes in? He followed the dull golden metal plating on a black armored boot up to who it belonged to. He swallowed as the larger man glared at him. A look of annoyance written in his face. Well the half that was visible anyway. Donnic slightly wondered why this man had such long hair. It was down right weird. He heard Hawke give a dangerous growl. He best stand up and try to make eye contact. But doing so sent bizarre chills down his spine. He saw Fenris walk in as well. Good. He can focus on the elf rather than Hawke. They oddly stood rather close together. He tried to smile. "Guardsman Donnic..." Hawke spoke. His voice dark and eerie. How could a man be this creepy? "You free this evening?" He asked. Donnic looked a bit confused. Answering none the less. "I have no immediate patrols... Why?" He asked slowly. Hawke seemed to tilt his head ever so slightly before sneering. What is that look about? The sneer turned into a twisted smile then. "Doesn't fucking matter. I want you at the Hanged Man for drinks. You best be there." Hawke commanded. The look he was giving was very chilling. Donnic swallowed. "A-all right... the Hanged Man it is..." Donnic said before hurrying away from Hawke. For some reason he felt like this was not good. Not in the least bit. Dealing with Hawke was dangerous. Even more so if he wished to 'talk' at the Hanged Man. Donnic knew Hawke had a suite there. Though another part of Donnic felt like this might be the captain's way of firing him. He slowly whispered to himself his thoughts aloud. "Great... better not be a 'thanks for your service' last drink." He waked his way from the barracks completely worried.

Fenris watched the man walk off. He looked a bit shaken, but his resolve was impressive. Seems not everyone can stand to look Hawke in the eye. Though having the guardsman stare at him instead as he addressed Hawke was a bit amusing. Though Fenris wished to make the execution gesture towards the poor man and mouth. 'You're gonna die.' Though it wouldn't be appropriate to scare the man further. He followed Hawke to the Aveline's office. Aveline didn't want to go. She was trying to back out of it. Hawke reached out and grabbed her by the arm. Nearly dragging her behind him. "If you don't walk. Then I am going to sling you over my shoulder and walk out." Hawke warned. "Maker no! Fine, I'll walk!" She huffed walking behind him. Fenris shook his head.

They made their way to the Hanged Man without incident. Though Aveline kept trying to run back to the barracks. Fenris and Hawke preventing her. As they entered the Hanged Man they saw Guardsmen Donnic waiting nervously. Aveline inched behind Hawke and stared. Which was rather odd to see her act like what she was. Hawke gave her a dumbfounded look. Just when Fenris thought Aveline couldn't confuse Hawke further. She did! "I... you go first. I'll be right there. Just.. don't tell him this is about me!" She said slightly panicked. As Hawke gave a groan with a shake of his head. He walked forward to interact with Donnic. Aveline moved behind Fenris then. Fenris looked up to her. "You do realize I'm shorter than you, correct?" He asked. "Oh hush!" she whispered. Getting Fenris to run a hand over his face, where as rolling his eyes would not have conveyed how silly this was.

Donnic saw as Hawke walked over to him. The larger man pointed to a table. Donnic quickly sat down. He watched as Hawke stalked around him to sit in the other chair at the table. The chair cried out from the weight of the man. They sat there in silence. Donnic couldn't find any courage to look this man in the face. He started to look around after a while of the silence between them. "W-was there suppose to be others coming?" He asked the larger man. "Plans change..." Hawke droned. His glare unbreaking. "R-right. Look I should really..." He started as he made his way to stand up. A heavy hand harshly forced him back into the seat. "Sit the fuck down and stay..." Hawke growled baring his unnatural teeth as he removed his hand. Donnic swallowed. Just then a round of drinks came to the table. He hesitantly took his drink and sipped some. Hawke didn't touch the drink set before him. He eyed it with disgust. They sat in silence again for what seemed like an hour. As it went by. Donnic drank more and more. Unable to even meet Hawke's eye. At one point he noticed Hawke look behind him and his deep frown turned to a snarl. Donnic looked behind himself to see what the man was glaring at. Before looking back at Hawke. Again the man was just glaring him down. Another round of silence. At one point Hawke begins to growl a low whisper. "Fucking GuardBitch..." Donnic wasnt sure of wha to say. Though he had an inkling that it might have to do with the captain. He coughed before speaking up. "L-look. If that was all a plan for you to get closer to the captain-" He was stopped when Hawke slammed his fist into the table. Splintering it. "Does it look like I prefer women? If anything I am going after you..." Hawke growled. His right hand clawing beneath the eye-patch under his long bangs. Donnic swallowed. "M-me?" He stammered. "Not my fucking type... But someone's..." Hawke said before his body gave a sudden jerk. Donnic decided this was the best time to get away from this man. He remembered what he saw all those years ago. "W-well then. I have to go. Thanks for the drinks." He said standing up and hurrying away from Hawke. How ground his teeth together before standing up as well.

Fenris sighed as he watched both Aveline lose courage and see Hawke willing himself not to murder a man. He got off the bar stool he was on. "Hopes she bucks up." Said Corff. "Yeah. Me too..." Fenris responded as he went to stand by Hawke. Who looked furiously at Aveline. Her head down to the ground.

"I... I couldn't do it. What did he say?" Aveline asked.

"He got it in his head that I arranged this piss poor plan to get to you." Hawke said angrily. Mainly for his time being utterly wasted. If nothing else.

"I'm an idiot."

"About fucking time. Where to next in your grand plan to win this man?" Hawke was getting a bit snarky now.

"The barracks. Ferelden? The deepest hole I can find?"

"Bullshit. You don't hide."

"I know, all right, but I freeze up. The only place I'm not a mess is on patrol. And killing highwaymen doesn't afford much opportunity for banter."

"Again. She deflects." Fenris pointed out. He crossed his arms as he looked at her.

"I will not risk..."

"You're squandering something you don't understand." Seems Fenris was getting increasingly agitated by all this.

"Don't ignore advice from such a reliable source. Or so help me I will shove you and that man into a closet and lock it." Hawke warned. Aveline frowned a bit as if pouting.

"But I can't fight and talk..."

"Ugh. Fine. We'll clear the way and you see if he's one." Hawke said rolling his eye.

"You're too good at this. Is it any wonder you've all but taken Hightown?" Aveline said with a smile.

"Believe me. I'm fucking trying here..."

"You clear the route up the Wounded Coast and I... will think of something to say." She said. Hawke walked up to her and got in her face.

"Just say this to him. "I'm going to fuck you." And there you go." Aveline blushed.

"I can't just say that!"

"Why? That's what I said to Fenris." Hawke gave an odd grin while sticking his tongue out. Fenris blushed as Aveline looked at him.

"Damn..." Aveline turned an walked away her. The blush never leaving. Fenris gave a growl as he turned and punched Hawke in the side. As the three left the Hanged Man both Varric and Isabela strolled from the back room behind the bar. They were both apparently trying to find something fancy to drink. They both looked at each other in shock. "Aveline is courting a guy?" Varric asked dumbstruck. Isabela turned to him then. "Who cares! Hawke and Fenris are fucking! Shit... I didn't think they were gay... Especially Hawke." Isabela exclaimed almost pouting. Varric laughed. "That too. I knew there was something between them. I just knew it! Heh, we are going to have to ask them at some point who did who." Varric walked his way out from behind the ar with Isabela. "Hey, Rivani. Want to write some friendfiction?" He asked as they walked to his suite. Isabela just gave him a catty grin.

Back with Fenris and Hawke. It didn't take long for both of them to go to the Wounded Coast after Aveline set up the route. Though it was a question on what Donnic was thinking about through this whole mess. Hawke lead the forefront as Fenris followed closely behind. They took the route that Aveline gave them. It was parallel to the route she and Donnic would take. The best path that could be ambushed. Hawke and Fenris made their way up the path and were surprised by the fact that the route was mostly clear. well. All expect for some deranged mabari. Which was strange the Wounded Coast was mostly clear every time they went. So why was there war hounds here now? It didn't really make sense either way. But the dogs were dealt with. In that sense they waited. They soon saw Aveline and her "date" make they're way through.

"So this route's pretty quiet." Donnic said looking a bit unsure of what was going on. Surely.

"Yes, and it's... a real nice night for an evening." Aveline forced herself to say. Donnic looked at her worriedly.

"Uh... as you say... Captain." He said before walking forward.

"Heh...yes... as I say." She looked down saddened.

Hawke gave a low growl before turning to Fenris. "She is fucking bad at this..." Fenris could only shrug. The two of them hurried they way forward to make for sure the rest of the path was clear.

As the two of them proceeded forward they came upon a group of raiders. Really now why were these people here on this particular day? They seemed to handle better than the war hounds. Considering they had someone to actually tell them what to do. These people might have even been the owners of said war hounds. Soon they will meet again with their pets. Fenris managed to dodge an attack from one man while dealing damage to another. Hawke drawing the attention of the majority as Fenris worked to take them out unawares. Working together has become much easier as of late. Hawke would serve as the distraction while Fenris took them out. Sometimes it was Fenris who lured them as bait while leading them into Hawke's blade. To be perfectly honest. Fenris worked wonderfully with Hawke. Each of them supporting each other. As the scuffle ended Fenris turned to look at Hawke. Rather surprised to see an arrow jutting from Hawke's back. Did the man not even notice it? The man was laughing about something. As Fenris walked over he felt sick to his stomach and turned around. Of course Hawke had to get hungry. "Don't do that shit in front of me, Hawke..." Fenris complained. Hawke turned slightly as he dropped the severed limb and wiped his mouth. "Would you rather I took a bite out of you, cause you are rather tempting." He said drooling. "Ugh... Just hold still." Fenris said walking over and grabbing a hold of the arrow. Hawke tilted his head and gave a queer noise. Fenris pulled the arrow out without trouble. "How did you not notice?" The elf asked. Hawke just shrugged his shoulders. The both of them went to see where Aveline and Donnic were. Seeing them make their way up the path. They could hear Aveline explaining something.

"If it isn't done right, the blade can be soft. Quenching the steel is a vital step that can make or break a sword." She explained.

"...Right..." Donnic said not even looking at her. His mind was elsewhere.

"A blade for every purpose. What do you think? About blades?" She asked.

Donnic looked at her then and tilted his head. "I'm sorry Captain. I drifted off a bit."

"... Right. Of course." Se said as she turned from him and walked further ahead. He gave a slight frown as he watched her.

"Painful and not in the good way." Hawke groaned. Fenris giving him a quizzical glance. They hurried once again further ahead to ensure the path was clear.

As they made their way further. The path that both duos were taking would soon merge. But before anything could be done about that. Hawke and Fenris had to deal with more people. Slavers this time hiding out behind a rock. Seemed like they were going to ambush some people. But seriously where the fuck were all these enemies coming from? It is like all the bad guys decided to have a picnic at the Wounded Coast to exact their evil ways in some sort of massive flash mob of some sort. Either way. Fenris noticed their attire and immediately went in kill mode. Letting out held frustration loose along with some serious hatred. Slaying these men with no mercy. Hawke approved of the carnage. It was at that moment that a fireball hit the back of Hawke's head. He gave a growl as some of his hair singed off in the blast. He whirled around and charged at the mage. Besides. No one touches the hair! Not even with magic! Hawke brought down his axe repeatedly over the mage who cowered against a rock in a magical barrier. The barrier wouldn't last much longer. Especially with Hawke putting all his force behind the deadly metal in his hands. Once the barrier broke down. The mage was cut asunder. Blood erupting in a fountain of blood as it painted the sand. Fenris laid waste the remaining slavers. Surprisingly he managed to do so without getting covered in blood like Hawke. "It's over already? Shame." Fenris said flicking the blood off his great sword. Hawke walked up behind him. They could hear Aveline and Donnic make their way. Hawke had just about enough of this running around.

Hawke walked over to where the paths would cross and stood there. He even shoved Fenris over as well. The elf gave a growl at him before looking forward as Aveline and Donnic came face to face with them.

"Well, Guardsmen, good patrol. I think we're done here, and I..." Aveline stopped as she saw Hawke and Fenris. She paled slightly. "Hawke, Fenris? What a surprise. What are you two doing here?" She asked. even though she knew damn well.

"Aveline..." Hawke growled. Aveline shook her head.

"Hawke. Don't."

"You don't have all night, you know..." He droned as he scratched at his beard. Donnic looked even more confused than he already was.

"Would someone please tell me what's going on?" Donnic asked or more like pleaded. The poor man was receiving nothing but surprise after surprise today.

"She want's you. It's pathetic... and adrimable." Fenris said crossing his arms.

"What?" The guardsman asked as Aveline looked down.

Hawke shook his head and pulled Fenris back against him. Getting the elf to let out a small yelp as Hawke grabbed his crotch. "Here's a clear image of one of the many nasty things she wants to do to you." Hawke purred sickly.

"H-hawke! Ego stupri oderunt vos!" He shouted as he let off a growl. Before he could really react. Hawke wrapped his free arm around the elf to prevent him from moving.

Both Aveline and Donnic went red. Donnic looked at Aveline then. "C-captain?" Aveline just looked up and gave an awkward laugh. "I... should get back to the barracks..." He said before turning swiftly and briskly walking away. Fenris at this time managed to pull free of Hawke's hold. Though he knew the man just let him go. Fenris glared darkly as a blush covered his face. Hawke just gave a twisted smile.

Aveline looked back at Hawke and Fenris. "I thought we were friends..." She said disheartened. Apparently not caring that Hawke just molested Fenris in front of them.

"Friends, push. Sometimes." Hawke said.

"I.. I have to fix this. He'll file a complaint... ask for a transfer... You! You're coming to the barracks to explain why you put him on the spot! Double time. Both of you. Or so help me..." She said storming off.

Fenris continued to glare darkly at Hawke. "Did you really have to do that?!" The elf snapped angrily at Hawke. "No but I fucking felt like it." The dark man laughed. "Maker help me, if you got excited because of the blood..." Fenris started as he backed away. Hawke seemed to give a hum as he stalked towards Fenris. The elf backed away more. Though the larger man simply increased the length of his stride to catch up. Grabbing hold of the elf by his hair. "Get over here." The larger man growled. Pressing his mouth against the elf's. Fenris fought back at first but couldn't help melting into the kiss. The kiss didn't last long as Hawke broke it. Fenris gave a small growl as if questioning why the larger man stopped. "Let's finish that shit with Aveline. Then, I'll see you tonight." Hawke said lowly into the elf's ear. Fenris shuddered a bit as he took a breath. Hawke let go of him then and made his way back to Kirkwall. Fenris shook off the slight daze and hurried after him.

Back in the Viscount's Keep. The two of them made it to the barracks to see Aveline worried sick. She looked up at them and began pacing.

"Maker, where is Donnic? I have to... head this off before it goes to the viscount. Maybe a formal apology. Something that shows the guards they can still trust me."

"Try the copper flowers again. It wasn't the worst of all options..." Hawke seemed to snicker at this. Which was weird for him to do.

"It's not funny!" Aveline shoot back at him.

"It was entertaining to me..."

"You'll entertain more than that if you keep this up!"

A cough catches their attention. Aveline turns to see Donnic. The guardsman comes up from the left side of Hawke and looks up to him.

"My apologies, Serah Hawke. But I need a moment with the captain." Donnic said. Aveline turned to him.

"Guardsmen Donnic..."

"Please."

Aveline looked up at Hawke not sure what to do. Hawke merely flicked his head in the direction of the office. Aveline gave a small nod and walked into the office. Donnic walked to the door and bowed slightly before Hawke. He soon followed and closed the door. Hawke looked to Fenris. Both, mainly Fenris, were worried what would happen. After a moment of silence and a few muffled words. Hawke tilted his head as he heard Aveline let off a girlish giggle. Rolling his eye he walked away and dragged Fenris with him. The two of them waited in silence till they saw Donnic come out. Hawke and Fenris both went up to the office door and walked in.

"Well?" Hawke asked. She just smiled brightly.

"Guardsmen Donnic... did not file a complaint. This was all incredibly stupid. And you both made it wonderful."

"Finally mastered the obvious. Though I'm skeptical about the rest..."

"You'll get your chance. I was mute, and now I won't to sing."

"Ugh...Don't"

"You. There is no way I can ever repay you. I just..." She seemed to prance in place before jumping at him. Kissing him full on the mouth before dropping down. Turning to Fenris and thus doing the same. Both men stood in silence. Fenris just blushed. While Hawke was trying to figure out what he did to deserve that. Hawke was completely stunned. Fenris gave an awkward cough and looked away with a small smile. "Thank you. Hey. Can I ask you something?" Aveline said then. Hawke shaking his head before looking at her. "Was there a moment when you thought I was beyond help?"

"You don't want to know that answer. Plus moment ruined..."

"All right. Fair enough. Shout when you need me, Hawke. I'll always be here for you. Just... Knock first." She laughed as she watched both of them leave.

This day was by far the most unpredictable day ever. Hawke mentioned stopping by his house to check up on his mother first. Fenris gave a nod and seemed to ponder on what they were going to do once they got to his mansion. As they walked up to the Hawke estate. Hawke allowed Fenris to come in to wait. As they walked in however. Hawke heard his Uncle Gamlen. He gave a groan as he walked in. Fenris waiting in the entrance foyer.

Sandal was just shouting enchantment at Uncle Gamlen. The older man groaned before sharply speaking to the dwarf. "No. Leandra! Lee-Ann-Drah!" Gamlen shouted. "The fuck is all the yelling about?" Hawke growled at his uncle. Gamlen turned to his nephew. "Where's your mother? Is she feeling alright?" He asked. "How the fuck should I know. I just got home..." Hawke asked his anger slowly dieing.

"Your mother didn't show up for our weekly visit. Is she ill? She is here, isn't she?"

Bodahn walked up then. "No,Gamlen. We haven't seen her all day."

"Where could she be?"

"With her suitor perhaps?"

"Suitor? Leandra never mentioned a suitor."

"Well, those white Lilies arrived this morning after Master Hawke left."

Hawke suddenly felt cold chill run down his spine. "W-what?"

* * *

 ** _A/N Yes I noticed I misspelled Ferelden last chapter. =3=  
Cookie to those who figure out what FenFen said!  
Also check out Child's Play! It is just as violent with a childish spin to it.  
Still a Fenhawke thing_**


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52 Primal Sorrow and Rage**

 _Continues off from last chapter._

 _A/N Violence near the end. But you know this already~ =3=_

* * *

Hawke stood paralyzed by a sudden chill running down his spine. White lilies. At the very mention of those flower, an overwhelming sense of dread welled up inside of him. His eye widened as he tried to speak through a horrid mental image that blasted into his mind. "W-white...lilies." He spoke slowly. His Uncle Gamlen looked at him. His face tense and pleading all at the same time. "You know something about this don't you? You're a smart boy. Tell me!" His uncle said walking up to him. Hawke forced himself to take a slow calm breath before shaking his head. Hawke struggled with the very idea that something has happened to his mother. Shaking his head trying to deny that it just might be happening. He turned swiftly and paced away from his concerned uncle. His hand mindlessly running up to grip at the twisted metal of his head-gear. His breathing slowly getting faster he began to speak again. "Murderer... In Kirkwall... He sends his victims white lilies... He murdered several women already..." His uncle paled and shook his head. "No... You're wrong. Leandra's fine." There was evident concern and worry lining his voice. Hawke growled as his body gave a slight jerk. Whirling around, staring his uncle down. "Ignoring the fact that Mother is in trouble won't help her!" He snarled as his eye twitched. His uncle stepped forward, shouting back at his nephew. "You don't know that for sure if she's in trouble!" Gamlen realized what he did and took a step back. His nephew was normally always right about everything. He hated it. He suddenly wished that his nephew was lying for once. He wanted to believe that his sister, Leandra, was all right. "Maybe... maybe Leandra took another path to my house. I could've just missed her. I'm going back to Lowtown." He said as he looked down.  
Back in the foyer, Fenris heard everything that the two were talking about. He rushed out the front door quickly and made his way to the Viscount's Keep's barracks. He had to tell Aveline what was going on.  
Hawke could faintly hear as the front door slammed shut. He paid it no mind as he focused on his uncle. Watching his uncle hurry towards the door. Shortly hearing the front door open and close heavily. Hawke growled loudly as he clawed at the metal eye-patch. His other hand clawing against the side of his face. Leaving him holding his head in his hands. His hands trembled as they dug in. Drawing bits of blood to come forth from the minor scratches. The heavy pressure to the twisted crown resulted in blood seeping from beneath it down his face. Bodahn walked up to him slowly then. "Umm. Messere... You should... um... Help Gamlen look for your mother. You should be able to track her more easily now that it is night fall. The streets should be empty. Orana, the boy and I will stay here in case she returns." Bodahn said slowly. Hawke mindlessly nodded as he turned swiftly. Making his way to the foyer. He didn't even bother looking up to see if Fenris was there. In fact. He didn't care about the whereabouts of his elven lover. He was mainly concerned with where his mother went. He made his way through the door. His mind racing with all manners of horrors that could possibly befall his beloved mother.

Hawke was roused from his mindless musings of the horrid and grotesque by a familiar voice. "Hawke! Fenris told me what was going on!" The guardswoman said running up to him. Hawke dropped his hands from his head and looked at both warriors standing before him. He turned quickly from them and began to walk hurriedly towards Lowtown. Hawke's pace began to quicken with each passing minute. Continuing on till he began to flat-out run. Both Aveline and Fenris having to run after him. Hawke had never had a need to run anywhere in such a dire situation, not counting the mad dash back to Lothering in order to protect his family. Both Fenris and Aveline were having a bit of difficulty as they tried to catch up with their leader. Whose mind was slowly starting to slip further into pessimistic thoughts at that point in time. No time was wasted as they soon arrived to Lowtown.  
Hawke stopped suddenly as he hit the bottom of the stairs leading from Hightown. His hair flying to the front of him at the sudden stop. He pushed his hair back without care as he heard talking. It was his uncle. Aveline nearly ran into him had she not stopped herself. Fenris looked around a bit before he made a decision to go get Varric. Hawke turned to go over to where he could hear his uncle.  
"Wait...you say you saw Leandra?" Gamlen asked a young urchin boy. The boy answered back. "I did. So what of it?" Gamlen began to go in detail about what his sister was wearing.  
"Lavender dress. Grey hair. Her cloak was brown I think, she holds it closed with a round brooch. Silver with Garnets!" He said. Hawke walked up slowly to stare at his uncle and the boy.

"I told you already. I saw her!" The boy said.

"Did you see where she went?" Gamlen asked.

"What do I get for telling you?" The boy asked. He then looked up at Hawke.

Hawke merely glared down at the boy with a snarl escaping his mouth. The boy swallowed and took a step back as he saw Hawke's teeth.

"All right, All right! I'll tell you! That lady was here. She looked like she was going to take the bridge to Hightown. But then a man came up to her. He stumbled and fell over, right at her feet, like he was dead. His hands were all bloody, like he'd been in a fight. The lady shook him, and I think he said "help." She got him to his feet, and he was wobbly - it was funny. Anyway, they left, and... that's all I saw." The boy explained. He turned his attention as Hawke spoke up.

"What did he look like..."

"He was a man. He had hair and... a nose. And nice clothes, but they were all stained with blood." The boy said. Gamlen and Hawke both gave a groan. It was at that time that Fenris came back with Varric in tow.

Though Hawke was starting to lose his patience. Giving a low growl, Hawke spoke. "I will destroy anyone who touches her..." He snarled. Gamlen giving a hesitant nod as he looked over his nephew.

"Yes. You... you go do that. You're good at that sort of thing." Gamlen said slowly.

"The man left some blood... where he fell over..." The boy said as he pointed.

"Why don't you do what the boy says? I'm going to go home in case Leandra shows up." Gamlen said as he hurried away. Hoping that his sister was had stopped by his house.

Hawke watched as both his uncle and the boy left him. Hawke shook his head furiously as he began pulling at his eye patch yet again. He then felt a hand on his shoulder. He nearly jerked away from the hand but forced himself still.

"Never thought I say this, but Gamlen's right. My men are looking for Leandra. We can check the blood. Any lead can help." Aveline said. Hawke turned to her and noticed Varric was standing behind her looking up at him worriedly. Fenris was also staring at him. His face full of concern and worry.

Hawke turned from them hurriedly as he made his way over to the puddle of blood. Hawke could smell how fresh it was. He followed the smell of it more due to how dark it was getting. The bloody trail almost disappearing into darkness. His sense of dread rising. Was it always this dark in Lowtown? So much so that any viable ray of light, be it torch-light or moon, couldn't penetrate through? He began to run as he followed the trail. Not bothering to wait for his three friends to keep up with his pace. He rushed past the Hanged Man as he followed the trail towards the foundry district. He stopped as he looked around. He could barely make out anything in this light. But he knew where he was just by the smell alone. A heavy thick smell of smoke, ash, and metal. What was these foundries used to make? He couldn't recall. Though Hawke felt like he has been here before somehow. He followed the blood to one of the foundries that smelt familiar. Too familiar for his liking. He busted open the door and walked in. His three friends coming in behind him. Light being given off by the fire beneath smelting pots was enough for him to see. The others looked around. Varric slowly spoke, "You've been here before, haven't you?" As they walked further in. Hawke's body jerked. His hand going up to claw at his head gear. He didn't wish to believe he had been here. But deep down he knew he has. "This is where you found the human remains all those years ago. We should have known there was something else here." Aveline said lowly. Watching as Hawke paused. "She's here... I..can smell her perfume... I... We need to find her..." Hawke said slowly. His mind not wanting to believe that his beloved mother was truly here in this place. He proceeded forward following the trail. Nearly darting forward. Hawke's mind was slowly slipping between fear and anger. The more he became afraid, the angrier he got. His body could not focus on either one alone. His fear starting to gnaw away at him as his rage slowly built up higher. He was on the verge of having a full-blown panic attack. He continued forward with the others up a set of stairs. Close to the door where the bag of bones were found along with Ninette's severed hand. Hawke could smell the blood from the trail they followed mixed with his mother's perfume. As they continued to follow the trail. It suddenly ended. Hawke gave a distressed growl that slowly got louder. Clawing more as the right side of his face than he was before. Varric's voice cleared his mind slightly. "Looks like someone didn't conceal their hide out good enough this time." Hawke watched as Varric pulled open a secret hatch in the floor. Hawke nearly shoved Varric out of the way as he jumped down the trapdoor opening. The others went after him, though they used the ladder provided.

They soon came to a large area akin to the places beneath Lowtown. A sickening smell of death lingered in the air like a heavy fog. The smell of his mother's perfume being lost. They continued to walk further in. Being set upon by demons which sprung up from the ground. Hawke paused and slightly backed up as a demon appeared before him with its claws slashing for his face. He reeled back before letting his fist collide with the creature before him. It fell away and turned to dust. He moved to pull his axe free. Swinging it without any warning at a demon near by. His mind was lost in thoughts all his own. Worried about where his mother could possibly be in this hell hole. So absorbed was he that he swung the axe blindly. The flat end slamming into Aveline's stomach. She wasn't expecting such a bruising hit from the large man. It resulted in her being knocked to the ground harshly. A demon darting towards her. Just to be sliced in half by Fenris's great sword. Fenris reached down and grabbed her. Pulling her from the incoming attack of yet another demon. Which was shot by Varric. They steered clear of Hawke throughout the rest of the fight. He was struggling to keep his mind clear. Though failing horribly as his vision started to stain red. He slammed down his axe into the last demon. Watching it fade away to nothing more than dust. Fenris was the first one to walk cautiously up to Hawke. Looking over the near distraught man as his body gave a sudden jerk. Fenris was worried for his friend's mental state. Fenris knew just how much Hawke's mother ment to him. Hawke was breathing heavily as he looked around. The low lighting of the area mixed with his near-sighted vision was starting to play games with his mind. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a lavender dress. Just like the one he bought fo his mother. From this distance. The body wearing that dress looked like his mother. "Mother?!" He shouted as he rushed over to the body on the table. He reached out to it, turning the body over. His breathing paused as he looked over the woman's features. Letting out a slight breath as he backed away. "Not... Mother... Alessa..." He said slowly. The woman who was with Gascard all those days ago. Though Gascard was dead. Who ever the murder was. It wasn't Gascard. He looked over the woman's body to notice the rather large blood stain on her dress. Parts of her body was surgically removed. Why? Why was this woman like this?The very idea of what could possibly be going on made Hawke heart sink. Be backed away from the body, unable to remove his eye from it. The others were stunned by what they saw. They moved away from the corpse. Feeling sick by just looking at it. They all turned from the body and hurried their way further into the dark passage.

Hawke and the others made their way through a dark corridor like hall. The smell of rotting flesh filled the air. The others nearly gaged and began coughing. The smell of it all was heavy and almost stale. As if whatever was dead down here has been there for many, many years. Hawke kept his head turned towards the ground as he walked further. He stopped suddenly as something among the filth on the ground caught his eye. The lustrous color got him to stare in shock. Kneeling down to look at the object closer. The feeling of dread surged through him even stronger than before as he reached for it. Pulling it by the delicate chain that tied to the heart-shaped locket. His mother's. "Mother's... locket... She'd never willingly part with it..." He said as he held it within his grasp. He gently pressed the latch on it causing it to pop open. Contained within the locket were pictures. On the right side was a picture of him and his father. On the other, his sibling. He closed it as he brought it to his chest. His heart gave a pained jolt as he held it close. The horrid feeling of pain did not comfort him this time. He could feel as his companions walked up behind him. He gave off a pained groan as he held the right side of his head again. His mind filled with images of what could possibly be happening to his mother.

He stood slowly as he placed the locket around his neck. He needed to find his mother quickly. So he could give it back. He just had to. He wouldn't accept anything else. He paced quickly down a rickety set of stairs. He breathed slowly as he made out the area. "What... Is this place?" He asked slowly to no one as he walked through the crudely designed living area. There was a stand alone wardrobe along with a few tables. As well as a full king-sized bed. There were books scattered about the area with many loose notes and pages piled about. He walked slowly as he looked at everything before his attention was brought to a portrait setting on a makeshift fireplace mantle. It was more like an altar in reality. His eye widened as he looked upon the woman in the painting. That woman looked like his mother. Without thinking he reached out to it. Touching it lightly.

The moment he touched the painting was the moment when several skeletons bursted from the dirt. Along with a few shades, a rage demon and abominations. Hawke could faintly hear his comrades calling out to him. He began to turn slightly but it was too late. A jolting pain shot through him as rusted metal ripped through his body. Jutting forth from his stomach from one of the seams on his armor. Blood shooting out from the large wound. In the back of his mind he heard his friends scream. He slowly reached up to touch the blade tearing through his stomach. Blood starting to seep from his mouth as he looked down upon it. His body going numb as he watched it be pulled back from whence it came. More blood erupted from the grisly wound left behind. It spilt onto his hand and down his body. He staggered forward as he forced himself to turn around. Eyeing the creature who had dared to skew him. A grotesque half rotted corpse roared at him. Bringing up it's blood drenched sword into the air to strike him once more. Hawke tilted his head and gave a curious stare before launching a heavy metal clad fist at the creature. He shattered its jaw before bringing his fist back, striking it a second time busting open its skull. The corpse collapsed as Hawke's vision darkened. His blood beginning to whirl about him. His hand pressed firmly to the gaping hole in his stomach as he walked forward. His eye blank as he slashed viciously at the other monstrosities. His friends dealt with the other creatures that evaded Hawke. But their worry for him was beginning to grow. As the fighting came to an end. The trio of friends looked up to their leader. They watched as Hawke turned back to the portrait. His blood returning to the wound. It slowly closed up but remained open partly. The bleeding for it stopped. That wound was going to cause a bit of difficultly for him if it wasn't healed properly. His friends walked up to him. Looking him over before looking at the painting.

"Why... What... is this?" Hawke said slowly as he stared at the painting yet again. Still unable to believe what he was seeing.

"That woman in the portrait looks like Leandra..." Aveline said as she slowly handed Hawke potion.

"This man is either very devoted or very insane." Fenris said looking at Hawke.

"I... Need to find her... Now." Hawke said ignoring the potion as he pushed past them. His hand clawing at the wound now rather than his head-gear. He could hardly hear Aveline talking.

"Books on necromancy... Maker's breath..." She said as she read through a few scraps of paper before hurrying after Hawke.

"Necromancy?" Hawke mindlessly repeated. His pace quickened.

The group began pacing hurriedly onward. They went through a dark corridor to another stair way. They followed it till they reached a room. It was oddly lit. On the far side of it was a table set with a vase of white lilies. Behind that table stood another. A bloodied white clothe covered what appeared to be a body. A man was kneeling before a chair holding the hand of some woman in an old wedding dress. The back of the chair was large as it blocked the view of the woman. Only her hand showing. Hawke pauses as he looked at the man. Giving a low growl. This must have been the man who lived in this pit. The man was about in his late fifties close to sixties. He smiled widely at the woman in the chair before he looked over to Hawke. His smile broadened. "I was wondering when you'd show up." He spoke softly as he stood up before the woman. Releasing her hand. "Leandra was so sure you'd come for her." Hawke felt his skin crawl as he heard his mother's name. He pressed forward giving a vicious growl. "Bastard! You took her. I will murder you!" Hawke snarled baring his teeth stepping closer. His vision being stained a heavier red hue. The man remained quiet before he looked back at the woman in front of him. "I... was afraid you might say that." He said before making his way around the chair. Blandly walking towards Hawke. "You will never understand my purpose. Your mother was chosen because she was special, and now she is part of something... greater." He said as be began to smile crazily. His smile was truly unnerving. "Enough! Where is she?" Hawke snapped as he took another step forward. The grey haired man didn't even flinch from this. He just continued to smile. "She's here. She's waiting for you." The man said looking to the chair, his smile never-fading. For some strange reason there seemed to be a terrible chill in the air as the man continued to speak. "I have done the impossible. I have touched the face of the Maker and lived." He said as his eyes went wide. Hawke shook his head at this man's rambling. The man continued to speak. "Do you know what the strongest force in the universe is?" He said walking towards the chair to stand before the woman once again.  
"Love. I pieced her together from memory. I found her eyes, her skin, her delicate fingers..." He said slowly. He began to reach up to gently caress the woman by her chin. He smiled widely again as he gazed upon her face. "And at last, her face... oh, this beautiful face." He said as he walked from her getting her to rise. "I've search far and wide to find you again, beloved, and no force on this earth shall part us." He said giving a laugh. The woman's body gave awkward jerks as if it was trying to force every muscle to move. The woman walked slowly behind the man till it stood beside him. A veil covering her face as it was bent down. As she walked forward more, she lifted it. Hawke's eye widened as he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. The face that looked upon him from the veil was none other than his mother. Her eyes weren't her own. No glittering oceanic orbs looking upon him in love. It was a dull hazel like grey. Her neck was stitched onto a body not her own either. From what showed through the veils of the dress were all stitched and sewn together to make the body she possessed now. Hawke couldn't breath as he looked over his mother. The only woman he had ever held above all else and cherished. He was on the verge of crying out for his mother. To wish this was all some fucked up dream his mind presented him. Though the low throbbing pain in his stomach and back assured him that this. Was all terrifyingly real and nothing he could do would stop it. "No!" He heard himself yell as he reached out to her. The man created a barrier around them as he summoned demons. A skeleton bursting from the ground before him. A rusted blade making contact with his face. Clanging against the metal patch he wore. He reeled back quickly as his mind went into fight or flight mode. His eruption of sadness soon turned into blind rage as he let out a horrid yell. A yell which seemed to erase the shit eating grin from the old man's face.

Hawke let off another yell more akin to a scream as all he could see was red. Lashing out viciously with his hands breaking the skeleton in two. Breaking it down even further till it was but a splintered mess. Whirling around as he targeted a desire demon. Pulling free his axe and knocking Varric aside during his charge. Swinging the deadly blade straight through her. Blood exploding from her body. Painting across his face. "Shit. Hawke's lost it! Hide!" Varric shouted as he dodged an enemy and jumped back disappearing into the shadows. Aveline moved out of his path as he stormed to an abomination. She brought up her shield and backed away. She needed to stay well out of his ranged as possible least she would possibly end up like those creatures. Fenris dropped to the ground as he dodged a swing of the man's axe. A demon having been behind him was sliced in half. He pushed himself back before getting up. Seeing the blood whirl about Hawke yet again. Hawke's teeth were bared as he swung his axe down upon a demon. His eye widened and his pupil constricted. Hawke literally went mad. His human features seeming to fade away to a monstrous snarl that warped his expression into a hellish visage. Fenris felt his heart sink at the mere sight of this. He could tell Hawke was in a lot of pain. Fenris casted a glance at Aveline who was using her shield to protect herself. Dealing damage to the creatures before her. Then shoving them into Hawke's path. Hawke let off a roar as another desire demon was killed. There was blood coming from Hawke's mouth. Even more blood pouring slowly from his wound. Fenris ducked down as a skeleton swung at him. Fenris brought down his great sword before jumping back. He couldn't even see where Varric was. But he did see some shades being taken out by crossbow bolts. Fenris saw out of the corner of his eye, as the last desire demon was felled, the mage dropping his barrier. Fenris let out a growl as he surged forward. Grabbing hold of the man before letting out a yell. "Hawke!" He shouted. The old man tried to blast the elf in the face with magic but was punched in the chest. The air leaving his lungs as he was flung toward's Hawke. His staff being taken by Fenris. Hawke dropped his axe as he latched onto the man. Hawke let off a yell as he opened his mouth. The man screamed as Hawke sunk his teeth into the man's face. Pulling back as he ripped off a sizable chuck of his face along with his entire nose. Hawke spat it out as he bite down on the man again. Blood flowing into his mouth as the wounds upon his body healed. Hawke sank his teeth into the man's neck and ripping his throat out. The man began choking on blood as he continued to feel as Hawke ate away at his face. Hawke's teeth cut as the man's eye. Just as Hawke's tongue dug under the eyeball pulling it out of the socket. It got to a point where the others couldn't even watch as Hawke gnawed the man's head off. Hearing a loud crack which must have been the man's skull shattering from the sheer force of Hawke's hands. Even though the man was dead. Hawke still screamed out as he began ripping and tearing at the man's lifeless body. using only his hands and mouth. Ultimately ripping it to mere shreds. Blood splattering every which a way and chunks of flesh being tossed aside as bones snapped. All his friends made a move to stop him. It was a hard struggle to prevent Hawke from mauling the unrecognizable corpse. As they tried they saw tears in the man's eye mixed with blood. His thrashing prevented the others from getting near him. If they had got too close he would knock them away.

Hawke's mother slowly walked up to him and touched his face. Hawke calmed instantly as he looked up at her. "M-mother..." His mother fell backward. Hawke moved quickly to grab his mother. His eye wide as he began to rock slightly as he knelt down. Holding her close to him. He pressed his head gently against her's. Even as the blood began to dry upon him. His mother smiled brightly at him as she raised her hand to run through his hair. "I knew you would come." She said weakly. Hawke's body shook as he spoke. "M-mother... I'm sorry...I should of..." He said. Though he was hushed by his mother.  
"Shh. Don't fret, darling. That man would have kept me trapped in here... But now... I'm free. I'll be with Carver and Bethany... and your father. But... you'll be all alone..."  
"I'm... such a failure... I... I couldn't keep you safe... I'm sorry Mother... Please..."  
"My little boy has become so strong. I love you. You've always made me so very proud."  
She smiled one final time as she said this before she faded away. Her so-called body going limp within his arms. Hawke held her closer and wouldn't let go. His head pressed against her's. His body shaking as he began to silently cry. Aveline, Fenris, and Varric went up to him. Not entirely sure what to do. They tried to get him to move but he refused. He wouldn't move. It took every single ounce of force from all three to pry him from his mother's corpse. His eye closed tight as he refused to speak. They had to practically drag Hawke from there as his body wouldn't move. It was a harsh struggle to make him walk away from the scene. But finally he complied. Though he seemed hollow and broken.

Nearly an hour later they had managed to get Hawke back to his estate. He wouldn't do anything. Varric along with Fenris and Hawke's servants had to clean him off the blood from him. As well as change him. The most unsettling thing was that his eye was void of all emotion. They put him in a chair in front of the fire in his library and left. Giving him time to process what had happened. Nearly another hour passed until his uncle walked in.

"Did you find her?" Gamlen asked. Hawke remained silent for a long moment before finally speaking since what happened.

"She's dead... Murdered..." He said. His voice holding no emotion what so ever.

"You were right about the flowers and everything. I... I can't believe she's gone.

"She's gone... What does it matter..."

"I'm not you. I can't just shove my grief into a corner and never look at it again." Gamlen said angrily as he crossed his arms. Though his anger did not persist. He began to cry. "Why her? Why Leandra?"

"Mother's gone... Do you really wish to know why?"

"No... Don't... It will always seem senseless, won't it? Where's the one who did this? Did you find the person who killed Leandra?"

Hawke turned to him then as he got up. "The fucker's dead. I tore him asunder..."

"Good. I hope he suffered..." Gamlen said angrily before sighing. "I should talk to the city guard. Make arrangements to retrieve Leandra... Leandra's body... Take care, my boy." He said before leaving.

Nearly a week passes since the death of Hawke's mother. Hawke refused to leave his home and had locked himself up in his room. His friends have grown increasingly worried. Fenris had enough of waiting for Hawke to show. Hawke was never one to dwell on the death of someone close. Sure he would be heartbroken. But it never caused him to do this. Fenris made his way towards the Hawke estate to talk to Hawke. Having been forced to leave the day since it happened by Hawke. Fenris was determined to speak with the man he was overly concerned for. Fenris entered the mansion and walked straight up the stairs. Bodahn tried to get him to reconsider but Fenris refused to leave till he saw Hawke. He went to knock on the door but found it to be unlocked. It swung open with the force of the knock. Fenris walked cautiously inside. The room was a bit of a mess. Hawke sat square in the middle of the bed staring down at nothing. There were a growing pile of glass shards against the wall. Fenris suddenly felt a bit ill. Wish and praying that Hawke didn't start drinking again. He slowly walked over to the bed and looked at Hawke. His long hair was a mess along with his clothes. His beard has grown out a bit and was not even groomed. The right side of his face was heavily stained with dried blood. Fenris swallowed.

"Hawke... I..." In that moment Fenris wasn't even sure why he came. He didn't even know what to say. "Don't know what to say, but I'm here."

Hawke's voice came in a low whisper. "If you have nothing say. Then get fucking lost. I don't need you..."

Fenris stepped forward and got onto the bed and sat before Hawke. In all honesty. Fenris doesn't think there is much point to filling such moments with empty talk. Though even though he had nothing to say. He wasn't going to leave. "I... I'm not leaving." He told the larger man. Hawke finally looked up to him.

"The fuck do you want, Elf?"

"Merely to remain at your side..."

"Hmm... You are the first person to even show up."

"I was worried about you..."

"Don't..."

"Look... I... can't say I ever lost someone dear to me. Given that I cannot even recall my past. But you had a family that loved you. They cared for you, despite what you are. Sometimes. I was jealous of that. And... I shouldn't be. But... The closest thing I had to a Mother was your's... I'm... going to miss her..."

"She was a patient woman... Kind, caring, and always adoring. She always told me how proud she was of me even when I was at my wit's end. She saw good in me that never even existed... There will never be anyone like Mother ever again..."

"Then maybe you should keep her memory with you. If you push her from your mind then she will forever be lost and forgotten..."

"True..." Hawke sighs as he looks at Fenris. "Dwelling on this matter any longer will not help me. I.. am sure she wouldn't wish for me to wallow in grief... I... Need something to distract me..."

"You can leave the city for a while and camp out somewhere."

"I just might do that. But I rather you came with me. After all. Mother was right. Having someone to call a friend does help one through life..."

Fenris nodded as he watched Hawke give a sigh before collapsing back into the bed. Fenris made a move to leave. Hawke stopped him. "Stay a while longer. This house is... strange without her..." Hawke said lightly as he closed his eye. Fenris sighed as he leaned against the bed post at the foot. "I don't see the harm in staying." He said as he watched Hawke fall asleep. Leaving him the one to watch Hawke this time around.

* * *

 **A/N When writing this chapter. I didn't like it the way I originally wrote it.  
So I rewrote it. I think it came out better this way.  
**

 **Thanks for reading and leave a review!**

 **P.S. Can someone read Child's Play and leave a review on it.  
I really want to know if I should continue it. It will get just as violent as this story.**


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53 Forgetting Pain**

 _Slight warning because, some might not like the content at the end._

* * *

It was an early morning as Hawke awoke with a low groan. He sat up ran his hand over his face. Pausing as he took note of the fresh bandages that were put on him. He was confused at first. He swung his legs out of bed to sit at the edge. Tilting his head further to the side. He remained silent as he got up. He continuously prodded at the bandages. As he made his way down stairs, he stopped as he heard some people talking. It came from the library. He gave a low groan as if thinking about something concerning the bandages before walking through the door.

Fenris sat in a chair close to the fire while holding a book. Aveline sat perched on the arm of said chair. They were talking about something. Though they stopped as Hawke walked in. "Hawke. How are you feeling?" Both warriors asked at the same time. Getting the large man to huff. "The fuck are you... creepy twins?" Hawke said shaking his head. The other two laughed a bit at this. "That was by accident." Aveline pointed out. Hawke gave a yawn as he walked into the room. "Concerning how I am feeling... I am not sure. The pain is not very comforting, nor is it physical..." He said as he walked over to another chair. Thinking of sitting down but deciding not to. "You know. I think I might need a few days away from the city... It might help me get over her..." He says before low-key whispering, "Walking by her room is bothering me much more than it should..." Both Fenris sand Aveline look at each other. Fenris closes the book he was holding. "You know. That might be a good idea for you, Hawke. Go out somewhere and get some fresh air." Aveline said standing up. "Agreed." Fenris said right after her as he got up as well. "Hey, Elf. I recall what you were talking about last night. I should go camping or something..." Hawke gave a sigh then. "I'm just not sure where to fucking go." He growled. Aveline walked over to him before speaking. "You don't get out much do you? There are many places to go camping. The closest place is at Sundermount's base. But you can also camp along to Wounded Coast if you're up to fighting thieves." She said. But she suddenly thinks of something. "Where ever you go. I want you to meet my in my office first. I got somethings to that needed to be tended to before Bran decides to be insufferable." She said getting a bit irked at the idea. She quickly left the two men alone.

"So... Do you want to stop by the Hanged Man before you leave? After you see what Aveline needs to talk to you about, of course." Fenris said walking over to the door of the library. Looking back at Hawke. "Sure. But like I said. I rather you went with me, Fenris." Hawke said walking past him to head back to his room. In order to get dress. Fenris looked down a bit before going after Hawke. Following the larger man into his room. "I forgot to get my sword from in here when I checked on you last night." He said picking up the great sword before going to leave the room. "Why act like you are allowing me privacy. You know what I look like. I am not bothered by you being in here while I dress." Hawke said pulling off his pants. Fenris looked to the wall as he started to blush a bit. "B-because it is wrong to stare..." He said lowly. Hawke rolled his eye as he got dressed. "What ever makes you feel better." Hawke said as he began removing the bandages. The way they were put on wasn't how he normally does them. He looked over to Fenris then. The elf was currently examining his great sword. Hawke gave a low hum before closing his eye.

After getting dressed Hawke left with Fenris to visit Aveline in her office. Curious as to what she was wanting. Hawke figured he could give her something that he had found a few weeks back. He had went to sell a shield he found but decided against it when he heard what was written on the inside. He had it strapped to his back under his long hair along with his axe. Fenris went along with Hawke into the Viscount's keep. He was a bit curious about where Hawke wished to go in order to get-away for a while. Even more curious as to wonder why Hawke wished to bring him. He pushed it aside figuring Hawke just wanted to spend time with someone he could relax around.

They walk into the barracks soon and greet Donnic. He gives a short wave before turning back to the roster. As they walk into the Office however. Aveline drops what she was working on just then and walks over to Hawke. "Bran's an ass..." She stated before crossing her arms. "Anyway, Hawke. I don't care what else is going on. We haven't spoken about Leandra for whole week. How are you?" She asked. Hawke gave a snort before giving a growl. "You know. I was right fucking pissed after she died. I was sorely tempted to take my anger out on you." Hawke growled. "But I knew it was not necessarily right considering how you tried." He said looking away.

"I see. Well. I am glad you didn't wish to get angry at me for no reason. Though I understand what you mean. You are the kind of person who would find it much easier just to fight your problems than deal with them."

"I just feel... I can't really explain it..."

"I can't tell you what it is like a lose a mother. But I can tell you about my father?"

"Not really... I am just going to ignore this odd sensation and just distract myself..."

"I bet that feeling is of being lost... At least I don't have to worry much about you."

Just at that point Bran comes in with a guard in some sort of fancy armor. The reason was due to parade armor. Something to look fancy for the nobles. It took about half an hour for Aveline to deal with Bran. As Bran and the guard left Aveline looked over to Hawke. Who was rude to the Seneschal by refusing to leave. He was leaning back against the wall. Along with Fenris. Aveline sighed as walked over to him. She started talking about Bran being a clod then, among several other things. Asking Hawke to get a 'real' job. Anything to distract him from his mother. The man was silent at first. Just like he used to be all those years ago when she met him. He suddenly growled before giving a weirdly jesting comment. Aveline sighed as she shook her head. Talking about Bran more before Aveline says, " - He's a clod, but sometimes... well, it might be good if the city was a little more stable."

"You prefer people like me stay at home? You would be bored out of your fucking mind." Hawke responded.

"All right, so maybe I don't want to be completely put out of business. And I don't even really mean you. But some people, they go around without regard and then act surprised when someone starts a Circle. There are warning signs you know? It's worth saying."

"True... Look I am heading to the Hanged man in a bit before leaving the city for a while. I remembered picking up something. You might like it." Hawke said then. Aveline tilted her head as she saw Hawke pull a shield from the strap on his back. handing it to her.

"A shield. Oh... and, 'Borne by the one true Ser Aveline.' Lovely..." She frowned and dropped to shield to the ground. Hawke for once in the time she know him. Gave her a gift. He just never did that. She saw as his mouth turned into a snarl. "Thank you..."

"That... was a bit insulting..." He growled. His body leaning forward as his head was now even in eye level with hers. His hair falling to the side as his head tilted.

"I have a shield. It belonged to Wesley. It has served me well. Are you suggesting that I give it up entirely? Pawn it away and be down with it?"

"The fuck are going on about, GuardBitch?"

"If you didn't think this would upset me, what was your intent?"

"Oh I don't know. To be fucking nice for a change!" He barked as he stood up straight. Aveline for once took a step back from him. She remained silent as she watched Hawke give a sigh. "It isn't the shield is it?" He asked.

"No... And... It's not Wesley. You've got me doing a lot of things. Most of them I don't agree with. Some, I'm surprised I do. I'm not sure where I'm going as it is. Replacing what I was with this... I mean, who is Ser Aveline to me?"

"Do you truly not give a damn about your namesake?"

"I didn't choose my name. 'Aveline' was a wish my father made. I am similar to what he pictured, but that's because of what I try to be, not what I assume I should. Ser Aveline was a fine figure, but I don't revere failure, however glorious."

"I don't fucking care. Give it away if you don't want the damn thing. Or keep it. It was ment as a fucking gift. But if you don't see it that way then I could care less." Hawke said giving a huff.

"I... can appreciate that it was a gift... After all. You hardly give stuff to anyone. And it is a fine shield. You do know that smiths slap Ser Aveline's name on every second piece of armor. This didn't really belong to her."

"It fucking does now."

"Thanks. Maybe I should use it to beat you over the head with. Then maybe you would stop say 'fuck' so much."

"I highly fucking doubt that. But you are free to try~"

"Pfft. No. You would enjoy it. You sick freak." She said before giving a laugh.

Hawke left out of the office and began to head towards the front doors of the keep. Fenris was about to follow suit when Aveline called him. "Make sure he doesn't come back pissed off more so than he normally is." she said. Fenris huffed and rolled his eyes at her. Getting the captain to laugh. Fenris followed after Hawke quickly. It didn't take long for both men to make it to the Hanged Man. Fenris left from Hawke's side to go directly to Varric's room. Allowing Hawke to dig about in his own suite on his own.

Fenris sat down beside the table while he took a breath. Varric eyed the elf from his bedroom. He walked quietly up to Fenris while smiling. Fenris gave a curious glance at the dwarf's smiling mug. "Is there something you want from me, Varric?" Fenris asked with caution. Varric seemed to smile more as he sat down beside the elf. "First off. You're in Hawke's seat. Second. I bet you been in his lap~" The dwarfs said giving a wink. Fenris seemed to go pale. What in the Void brought this on! And how did he know. Fenris and Hawke been discreet about what they had done. The only one who possible knows is Aveline and her new boyfriend. But they aren't the kind to spread information. Fenris swallowed a bit. "What are you talking about, Varric?" He questioned. Forcing himself to resist blushing. Varric gave a light laugh as he leaned forward.

"Question. Do you really wish to pursue Hawke? I mean. He seems to have a very... unhealthy sense of pleasure..."

"Again. What are you talking about..."

"You know what I'm talking about. You and Mister Psycho Kill-A-Lot. You two had a bit of..." Leaving off the sentence with a very vulgar gesture. Which got Fenris to turn a dark shade of red.

"What!?" Fenris stood up quickly as he shook his head. Varric just grinned at him knowingly. Hawke suddenly walked in and gave a tilt to his head. Varric smiled and went over to him as Fenris walked out of the room hiding his blush.

"Hey Hawke! You have got to hear this! There's this tale making the rounds... They're saying you single-handedly fought a pirate invasion, at midnight, on the sacred ground of the chantry."

"This sounds like the bullshit you would make up..." Hawke growled.

"Me? I'm hurt you think I'd spend such a half spun tale. I tell people how you arm wrestled a hundred foot tall golem in the Deep Roads. Just... don't be surprised if people seem in awe."

"Hard to believe you're spreading these stories without benefitting from them..."

"Well that just shows what you know, Hawke. The stories are their own reward. You really need to see the look on someone's face when I tell them you ripped off the arms of an ogre. Just once~"

"I guess that works... A little reverence wouldn't hurt though..."

"You may not be my best dressed or sanest friend, Master Hawke, but you're alright in my book. Anyway, I'll quite exaggerating before it goes to your head. Your unstable enough as it is..." He says tilting his head with a sigh and a smile. Hawke gave a sigh as well.

"Listen, Varric. I'm heading out of Kirkwall for a while. Considering what happened. I... need to forget..." He said as Varric frowned and simply nodded.

"Don't worry Aveline and I will make sure nothing fun happens without you."

Hawke gives a nod before leaving out of the suite. Heading out of the tavern with his tent and some supplies. He didn't see Fenris anywhere in the tavern. He found the elf standing in an alley on the side of the tavern. Hawke looked at him questioningly. Fenris looked up to Hawke as the large man walked up to him. "Varric knows..." He said lowly. Hawke tilted his head. "Does it matter?" Hawke said. Fenris took a deep breath. "I... I don't know if it does make a difference..." He said running his hands through his hair. "Lets get going. I know a place that I used to bring Bethany to when she wanted to relax." Hawke said walking from Fenris. Fenris looked up a bit suddenly at the sound of this. He hurried after Hawke.

They exit out of the city after a short walk. Fenris is quite curious where Hawke wished to go. He never knew that Hawke left the city with his sister. Then again, Hawke was very attached to his sister. A bit overly attached if Fenris had a say. Though considering how Hawke was for his family. It must be hard for Hawke to forget about his family. There must have been many moments where Hawke wished to speak to them. Now that his mother was gone. Fenris was worried for his friend's mental state. Fenris wasn't sure exactly how to feel about losing a family. Anything he would try to say to make it better for Hawke was lost. He had nothing to tell the larger man concerning that area. He remained silent as he followed the man. They came to the outskirts of the city as they began to enter the Wounded Coast. "It will take about an hour to get there." Hawke says lowly as they continue. Fenris looks down to watch every step he took behind the man. "Why am I the only one going with you?" He questioned the larger man. Hawke gave a low sigh as he slowed his pace slightly. "Because." Was all the man said. Fenris silently nodded and followed him.

As they continued their walk along the coast. They were beset by bandits. Hawke dropped the tent he was carrying and pulled free his axe. Fenris done the same and readied himself for combat. Hawke stared the men down before he began to smile dangerously. His eye becoming void of emotion. A horrid chill filled the air then. "I can smell it..." He said slowly walking forward. The large golden axe dragging through the dirt as he walked forward. Fenris paused as he stepped back. Maybe this was a good thing to have enemies set upon them like this. Hawke seemed distraught and uneasy when he check on him the other day. Maybe this can help him get back to normal. Hawke being depressed was well... Depressing. The bandits had paused as they looked at him. There was only three of them. Fenris wondered what these men were thinking. Had they not seen how huge Hawke was or were they just hiding in ambush for travelers? Either way. Fenris allowed Hawke to go after them. One man attempted to dash past Hawke to assault Fenris. He met the cold steel of Hawke's axe bite into his flesh. Sending a spray of blood to decorate the sand. The man faltered and swayed backwards from the hit. Hawke wasn't even trying to kill him with the hit. The man's chest and stomach were sliced open enough to allow blood to spill. It wasn't untill the second hit that caused his intestines to fall upon the ground with a slick wet thump. The man fell forward and landed into his own entrails. Weakly reaching out to his comrades. He wasn't dead, yet. Hawke stood before him with a sick twisted smile. He lifted up his foot and stepped lightly on the man's head. The man's friends didn't know what to do. They saw their leader get knocked down with two hits. Hawke's smile widened as he lifted his foot into the air before bringing it down heavily upon the man's head. His skull gave a loud crack. Hawke tilted his head as the man gave a choked moan of pain. Hawke repeated the action again. Blood erupting from the man's shattered skull as it was forced open from the blunt forced trauma. Though Hawke didn't stop. He continued to repeatedly slam his foot into the dead man's head till it was unrecognizable. His knee-high leather armored boot was coated in blood and other various fleshy material. Bits of hair and blobs of pink clung to it. The other two men backed away from him and took off running in fear for their own lives. Hawke gave a dark laugh as he watched them. Fenris titled his head and just looked at Hawke quietly. For some strange reason Fenris was growing accustom to Hawke's violent way of dispatching enemies. Though he was curious. "Why did you allow the others two to run?" Fenris asked. He watched as Hawke put his axe up and bent down. Hawke didn't answer as he tore into the man using his hands. His gauntlets rending the flesh and clothes easily.

Fenris felt a sick feeling rise in his stomach then. He walked past Hawke and the corpse. Sitting down behind a rock further up ahead. He might have been used to Hawke being overly violent. Though the sight of a man eating another was something he could not stomach. He never seen such a thing in Tevinter. The very image disturbed him deeply. He didn't wish to see such acts of barbarism. Though he seemed to recall something Hawke said at one point regarding cannibalism. "Some reclusive cultures find the act of eating an enemy, to be a way of receiving the experience and vitality of the fallen warrior. There for the enemy's prowess in battle is passed on to the one who ingests them. It is a sick and twisted act of honoring them..." Fenris recalls aloud to himself. Fenris wondered if it was true or not. He does know that some Dalish do something similar in ritual to the animals they hunt. Honoring the creatures before eating them. Though... the concept of whether or not it was the same is confusing to most. Some believed it was, while some don't. Fenris, himself, does not see this as being the same. He found the act to be unbearable to watch. Then again. He didn't really believe in ritualistic concepts to begin with. He wasn't exactly religious either, but he likes to believe in somethings regarding the Maker. He sat back against the rock and closed his eyes. Trying to be anywhere except where he currently was.

After what seemed like an hour. Hawke walked forward passed him. Stopping before turning to face him. Letting the tent fall to the ground again. Dropping, himself, down to squat before the elf. Fenris opened one eye to look at the larger. Hawke wasn't covered in blood anymore. Did he clean himself up? Hawke then shoved something into Fenris's face. Getting the elf to recoil from the object thrusted into his vision. "!" He turned his head before looking closer at it. It was that man's heart. "Get that out of my sight..." He said lightly. Hawke shook his head and held it firmly in front of Fenris. "Take a bite..." Hawke said. "W-what?! No! I'm not eating that!" Fenris snapped back as he shifted away from the heart. Hawke gave a growl. "Take. A. Bite." He pressured. Fenris shoved the man's hand away. "I said no!" He hissed. Hawke was a bit insistent. "I am not like you, Hawke... I don't want that..." Fenris said slowly as he turned his head from it. Hawke gave a low growl before bringing the organ to his mouth and biting into it like an apple. Blood squirting out from it. Fenris nearly gagged. Fenris would probably been more comfortable if it was just blood and not a major organ from some random unfortunate man. Fenris had to draw a line somewhere with Hawke, right?

Hawke finally allowed him to get up. Fenris followed after Hawke through the coast. Hawke slowly finished the heart as if it were a mere fruit. Fenris shuddered from disgusted as he looked down to the ground. The rest of the trip went fairly smooth without anything else happening. Soon they made it to a wooded area. A secluded part of Sundermount, people rarely know is there. They walk amongst a thick grove of trees. There is no trail to follow here. And Fenris growls with a groan of increasing annoyment at the many roots that nearly trip him up. Hawke easily oversteps these. Fenris hates the very idea of being among nature like this. Where ever they were going better be worth the trouble.

After a few more minutes pass, Fenris is beginning to get irritated. So much so that he walks straight into Hawke without realizing. He stumbles back a bit before giving a light growl. Hawke reaches behind himself and pulls the elf forward. Fenris is jerked forward and was about to say something when he looked ahead of himself. "Whoa... You've been here before?" He says lowly pulling his arm from Hawke's grasp. The larger man sighed as he walked forward. "Yeah... With my sister. While working for the Red Iron. We stumbled upon this place while tracking a target. The guy though hiding on the outskirts of Sundermount was a good idea. He was just beyond the far side of Kirkwall, nearly heading into the next town over within the Free Marches." Hawke said before laughing. "He didn't make~" He said walking ahead.

Fenris took a breath still unable to believe such a place existed. The trees surrounded a large pound that was filled with a waterfall. It ran from a large part of the mountain that was hidden away by many large boulders. He followed the flow of water and wondered where it went. The grass surrounding it was lush. "This isn't the only place like this around Sundermount. They are scattered about the mountain in many places. This is just one of them that I liked more. There is a cavern behind the waterfall." Hawke says as he walks forward. "Wait. Really? There is a cavern here?" Fenris asked walking after Hawke. "Yeah... You know... I might bring everyone here for once... Or not..." Hawke said as he thought about for a moment. Fenris looked at him for a bit before giving a hum. Hawke looked at him sharply as he set the tent down. "What is Bastard Elf?" He growled. "Oh, nothing! Just... You see the group as being your friends now... is all." Fenris said going over to help set up the tent he had as well. Hawke gave a huff with a shake of his. "Bullshit!" Hawke growled as he set up the tent. Fenris began to laugh. "You know... it's... Good to have friends... I know I'm glad for it..." Fenris said as he knelt down after his tent was set up. Hawke gave a low sigh. "Look. The whole reason why I decided to even do this is because you suggested it... I need something... Anything... It... Feels unnatural for me to feel pain and only hurt. I am used to it being enjoyable..." Hawke complained. Fenris turned to him.

"Is.. that what this is? Have... You never felt like this before? Surely you have..."

"True.. But that was a long time ago. I have no family left. The fuck am I suppose to do? Everything I have ever done was for my family... They were all that mattered... Now... They're gone."

"I... Don't know what to say about that..."

"Good. Nothing you would say would have made it better."

"I... suppose... Umm... Is there anything I could do to help?"

Hawke looked over to him and licked at his teeth. "Maybe there is..."

Fenris swallowed and backed up. His face turning a slight red. He knew when that man began flirting. "You best get me some sort of dinner before you think of doing anything to me..." Fenris growled.

"What the fuck are you a woman?" Hawke asked with a huff as he got up. He began walking away from the small camp. Fenris sighed.

While Hawke hunted for food. Fenris explored the cave. He found the cavern to be quiet relaxing. It had a shallow body of water on the inside of it. It was clear like crystals. He gave a contented sigh as he sat a little ways from the edge of the water. Pulling a book from one of the pouches on his belt. It was a small book that was of an interesting read. Hawke had asked him several times what the book was about. He even went as far as to ask Fenris to read it to him. In truth, Fenris didn't wish to share this book openly with Hawke. It wasn't exactly educational nor an idealistic story. It was a bit more shameful to be honest. A collection of short smutty literature. He wasn't sure how Hawke would take to it. The book involved straight couples as well as gay. He would read through some stories and frown when they were 'boring'. He found himself attracted to some stories more than others. They weren't exactly typical stories. Fenris remained there in the cavern, completely enthralled by the book before him. He failed to notice Hawke enter the cavern. He was so absorb in the book that Hawke managed to kneel right behind him. Fenris jumped forward as Hawke leaned down and whispered into his ear. "Boo~" Fenris threw the book into the air and darted forward. His face flushed a dark red from the story he was reading. The book landing on its spine. Opened to an intriguing illustration. "What are you reading?" Hawke inquired. "N-nothing! J-just stuff..." Fenris said as he grabbed the book and hurried from the human. Hawke gave a growl as he trailed after the elf. Hawke might have bad sight but he saw one of the illustrations in the book when it landed. He gave a dangerous smile as he eyed the elf.

Fenris stuffed the book back into a pouch and took a deep breath as he went to sit down. "Saw the drawing in that book... It seemed similar to filth that whore reads..." Hawke said lowly. Fenris went to turn towards Hawke and protest. However the larger man had grabbed a hold of him. Fenris froze as the blush on his face refused to fade. Hawke dropped to the ground pulling Fenris with him. Causing Fenris to kneel in front of him. "D-dammit Hawke!" The elf hissed. Fenris struggled against the larger man but soon stopped. Hawke wasn't doing anything to him. Hawke was merely holding him. "You finally relaxed. That's good." Hawke said as his hand gripped Fenris by his throat. Pulling his head to the side. His other hand running down the elf's stomach. Fenris blushed more as he took a breath. "Come on.. At least struggle a bit. It's no fun when you don't fight back." Hawke growled as he began to nip at the elf's neck. "Mm... What it I don't wish to fight back..." He questioned. He could feel Hawke grin against his skin. "Really now? So I can touch you however I want~" The man whispered right into the elf's ear. Sending a chill down his spine. Fenris held his breath when he felt the large man run his tongue along the markings of lyrium. After wich a sharp bolt of pain went through him, as Hawke's teeth sank into his neck. He gave a pained groan as his hand shot up to grab on to the human's eyepatch.

As Hawke bit down harder drawing more blood from the elven man before him. He released the elf's neck to take off the chest plate. Throwing it to the side. It made a thump somewhere near by in the grass. Hawke's hand soon undone the ties of the elf's tunic. Hawke removed his hand and dug it into the dirt. Jerking it till his armored gauntlet and vambrace came off. With it removed he proceed to take off the second one as well. He felt as the elf let off another hiss. Pulling himself from the elf's neck gently as to not cause him to blood. He licked at the wound lightly. Enjoying the taste of the smaller man's blood.

Fenris closed his eyes as he felt Hawke run his hands across him. The larger man was tracing the paths of the lyrium. His nails scraping against them ever so slightly. He gave another hiss as he felt Hawke bite into his exposed shoulder. Not enough to draw blood, though just enough to leave a mark. He soon felt the man pull at his pants. Hawke's large hand pressing across the elf's crotch. Fenris let out a low noise then. Hawke pulled the elf's pants open. Giving an approved growl as how hard Fenris was already. "Not sure if it was me or that filthy book you read..." He said lowly. "P-possibly both..." Fenris answered.

Hawke wrapped his hand around Fenris's cock, beginning to stoke it. He licked against the man's neck as the elf let out a light moan. Hawke gave a smile against the elf's skin. He ran his hand quickly along the length of the elf's member. Enjoying the light gasps and moans coming from him. Hawke began to tease the very tip with his thumb, getting the elf to buck into his hand. His free hand running up the elf's toned and muscled stomach. Admiring how well-built the smaller man was. Despite the feminine appearance of his body. Fenris defiantly quite masculine beneath his armored clothes. Hawke began to grope at the elf's chest getting Fenris to whine lightly. Kissing at his neck once again as he trailed his tongue along the elf's pulse. Fenris continued to move in time with Hawke's hand. Feeling the large man's hand tighten around him. He shuddered from the feeling as Hawke began to jerk him off faster. Fenris placed his free hand on Hawke's thigh. His face was a deep scarlet as his mind got foggy. The feeling was overly pleasant. Though a part of Fenris wished for the larger man to take him. He snapped out of his thoughts as Hawke with drew from him. Fenris gave a growl as he spoke. "W-why did you stop?" It was more of a plea than anything else. He felt himself be forced to the ground before being turned around. Hawke pressed his hand heavily against Fenris's chest. Nearly knocking the wind out of him. Though judging by the look in the human's eye. Fenris didn't have to question the man's motives. Hawke leaned forward and ran his tongue around the tip before taking it into his mouth. Getting Fenris to give out a loud groan from the pleasurable sensation. The larger man's mouth was hot and wet. Fenris couldn't help but tangle his hand's into the man's long hair. Hawke pulled the entire length into his mouth. Making Fenris wish to thrust into the man's mouth. He let out another groan as he felt the man's tongue swirl about him. This continued on till Fenris could take no more. Hawke was overly enjoying himself when Fenris couldn't restrain himself from coming into the man's mouth. Fenris let out a loud moan as the feeling washed over him. Though he suddenly felt a chill run through him. Realizing what he just done. He hesitated in looking at Hawke. The man's mouth was still around his member. Though the look in the man's eye was nothing but pure anger at the moment. Hawke pulled off slowly and his mouth made a snarl. White fluid dripping past his teeth. Hawke latched onto Fenris's neck using his hand as he brought himself even with the elf. "I-i d-didn't mean to do that!" Fenris said in panic. Hawke held him in place and pressed his mouth against' Fenris's. Forcing the elf's mouth open and spitting the contents into his mouth. Fenris's eyes widened at what was being done. Attempting to thrash against Hawke. Hawke pulled away and used his hand to cover Fenris's mouth. "I. Don't. Swallow. But you will." He growled dangerously. Refusing to release Fenris till he did what he was told. Fenris force himself to swallow his own sticky fluid and began coughing harshly as Hawke released him. He was never forced to do something like that in his entire life. Hawke gave a sneer as he spat out the remainder in his mouth. Fenris found what happened to be down right sick and nasty, yet also a bit arousing. He never tasted himself before. It made him curious however. What exactly did Hawke taste like?

He looked to Hawke. Moving so he was now kneeling before the man. Even while Hawke was on his knees he was still tall as ever. Looking at the larger man's covered crotch. Fenris could plainly see how aroused Hawke was. He swallowed as he looked at Hawke. Making the final decision in his mind as he crawled over to Hawke. The large man looked down at him. Giving a low hum. "Hmm. What do you plan on doing, Fenris..." He said lowly. Even though he knew full well of the elf's intent. "I... Want to do the same to you..." He said slowly. Hawke gave a growl. "You're aren't going to make me swallow my own cum." He said with a slight sneer. Fenris blushed deeply. "That... was disgusting..." He said slowly as he began to pull and undo Hawke's pants. "Though you enjoyed it~" Hawke said giving a sick purr. Fenris's face turned a dark shade as he looked down to hide his face. "N-no comment..." He said lowly as he pulled Hawke from his pants. Suddenly having second thoughts on the idea. Forgetting just how large Hawke was, Fenris paled. His face darkened even more if possible as he looked at the other man's large member. Hawke gave an amused laugh at the elf's hesitation. "What's the matter? Scared?" Hawke said giving a smile as he heard Fenris growl. " I-i'm not! I just..." He said before trailing off. A sudden feeling of dread spread through him then. He shook his head pushing it aside. Though Hawke was very keen on reading the emotions of fear, dread, and other related emotions. "That look on you face..." Hawke said slowly. Fenris looked up to him. "You were forced to do things like this before..." Hawke continued. Fenris looked aside almost ashamed. "I will not force you." He said to the elf. Fenris took a breath as he ran his hand along the larger man's thigh. "I know. But I... I wish to do this." He said turning his attention back to Hawke. A bit curious if he should remove his gauntlets. But thinking about Hawke's violence fetish, made him reconsider. The biting metal into his flesh might just excite him more. He reach up gripped the large man's cock. Looking a bit hesitant as he leaned forward. Bringing the tip to his mouth. His face a dark shade as he slowly ran his tongue along it. Reminding himself that he chose to do this freely. Either way. Hawke's size was still intimidating. He took a deep breath before taking the man into his mouth. It was a bit painful so he pulled off for a moment. Trying to figure out just how to go about this. He proceed to take the man into his mouth again and nearly chokes a bit at the size. Having pushed the man further in. Hawke remains silent as he forces himself to remain still. The urge to force the elf to take him fully into his mouth. Doing such could possibly hurt the smaller male indefinitely. Fenris manages to get the hang of taking the larger man after a while. Move his head along the man's length. Though unable to take the man entirely due to size. He begins to run his hand along the part he is unable to put into his mouth. Feeling himself getting used to the pain in his jaw. He proceeds to take a bit more giving a low moan against the large man. Hawke gave a groan of approval at this as he ran his hand through the elf's platinum hair. Fenris continued till he had to take a breath before returning to what he was doing. Hawke began to move in time with the elf's mouth. Fenris choked slightly at the sudden thrusts. He looked up to Hawke as he slowly allowed the man fuck his mouth. Being allowed to breath at points. He closed his eyes as he continued. Enjoying the feel of the larger man's member against his tongue. He nearly pulled off when Hawke came without any warning. Feeling the substance go down his throat. Hawke refused to let him move. Forcing him to swallow what he could before being released. Pulling off giving a cough before swallowing the rest that remained in his mouth.

Looking up to see Hawke smiling darkly at him almost laughing. Fenris was breathing hard, slowly becoming aware of the pain in his throat from having had the man in his mouth. He gave another cough as Hawke pulled him up. Hawke licked his teeth as leaned forward. About to kiss the smaller man when it started to rain ruining the chance of them going any further. Hawke gave a growl as he pulled both himself and the elf to their feet. Both putting themselves away and heading to the tents. Hawke grabbed the elf's arm and dragged him into the tent. His tent to be exact. "I rather we pick up and move to the cavern. Working on one tent at the same time will help us move them quicker." He said as they began to move everything. Managing to make it into the cavern before the heavier rain began to fall. The rain made the inside of the cavern a bit colder. Hawke gave a sigh as he set up a fire. They sat together by the fire to warm up and remove their wet clothes. Luckily their clothes weren't drenched. It was then that Fenris became aware that Hawke had a dark bruise that covered a good part of Hawke's back. "What happened?" He asked. Hawke looked at him and merely shrugged. "That kind of got there from when I destroyed my distillery..." He said lowly. Fenris tilted his head till he realized what Hawke was talking about. That weird apparatus he kept that made those drinks. "When I tore it apart in a blind fit. I threw part of it against a wall. It cracked apart and impaled me." He said adding on. Fenris felt relieved that Hawke destroyed it. "So those broken bottles..." He asked. Hawke gave a low laugh. "I leaned out my window and poured them on some pompous ass nobles. I might not be able to see worth a flying fuck, but I can identify a noble by their brightly colored fancy clothes. Also I could smell their shit eating grin." He laughed. Fenris shook his head.

"I bet you had got in trouble?" Fenris asked.

"They apparently heard what had happened. That or they're afraid of me to complain."

Fenris gave a yawn as his body began to feel tired. "I can't see why they would be afraid." He mused.

"My appearance basically screams: Fuck you! Have a problem? The try to take me!"

"Exactly..." Fenris trailed off as he began to listen to the heavy downpour as he laid back against a clothe spread, serving as a bed. The two had put the two tents together so they could be near each other. Hawke gave a yawn as well as he laid back. Both of them listening to the rain. Both soon falling asleep. Each sleeping next to each other.

* * *

 _A/N I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter. It was fun to write.  
Next chapter will have more violence and blood!  
Also Anders (more like Hawke) vs Alrik!_


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54 Death of a Templar**

* * *

A few hours went by with heavy rain pouring down. It was so deafening that it drowned out all other sounds. Fenris awoke during the down pour to see that the fire was going out. He shivered as he looked down at himself. He was glad that Hawke had bothered to collect fire wood. He put more onto the dieing fire to liven it up more. Sighing as the fire began to get brighter. He turned to Look at Hawke. Blushing deeply at recalling what they had done earlier. He shook his head and forced the thoughts away. He was still cold, the down pour mixed along with the waterfall had forced cold air into the cavern. Which had started off relatively warm and cozy. He looked towards the entrance watching the light spray of water against the rocks. He could see outside to see the rain falling. Almost blending in with the waterfall. He shivered again as looked back at the fire and proceeded to poke at it with a stick. He wondered if his clothes were dry by now. He tossed the stick down and scooted closer to the fire. He turned back to look at Hawke again. An idea came to him. He got up and moved towards Hawke. He laid down right against the larger man. Giving a soft smile at the amount of heat coming off of the larger man. He knew it was a bit awkward but he didn't care. He curled up next to the man and tried to go back to sleep. He felt Hawke move then and wondered if he awoke the man. Hawke turned over pulling the thick clothe of the tent over both of them. Fenris froze and remained still as he heard Hawke give a low huff. The larger man was whispering something. Fenris wasn't sure what was said. The large man must be talking in his sleep. Either way Fenris was much warmer. He gave a yawn as he started to drift back asleep.

The next morning was still ruined by rain. Though it had lightened up significantly. Fenris was sprawled on his side with his head resting against Hawke. Hawke was awake however and was simply staring at Fenris. At some odd point Hawke's hair tangled around the elf. Or the elf rolled back and forth thus getting tangled. The elf looked too overly at home. Hawke flicked Fenris in the forehead to wake him. The elf gave a hiss along with a growl. "Wake up, Elf." Hawke said shaking the elf. Fenris woke up and just stared at him. He noticed the hair wrapped around him and simply pulled himself further into the luscious mane. "Hey!" Hawke pulled back from the elf and removed his hair from him. "But fluffy poof..." Fenris whined as he sat up. "Dangerfluffe!" He low-key shouted. "Don't call me Dangerfluffe!" Hawke growled. Sitting up entirely while holding his hair, almost cradling it. "How did you get it that fluffy and full anyway?" Fenris asked. "Blood of my enemies." Hawke stated getting up to get dressed. Fenris simple gave an amused hum before getting dressed as well. After the rain let up the two of them seem to relax. Enjoying the separation from others that they find annoying and overly bothersome. Fenris prefers to remain in the cavern mainly due to the soft sand and flat smooth stones. He says it is like that of the city. Hawke goes out and hunts.

They spend another day out there before packing up and heading back to Kirkwall. Fenris looks over to Hawke and tilts his head. "Was it enough for you to..." He trailed off not entirely sure how to say it. He couldn't just ask, _Are you finally over your mother?_ He sighed as he remained silent. "I... feel better, if that is what you are asking." Hawke said taking a deep breath before letting it out. Fenris nodded as he walked along beside Hawke. Hawke looked over to the smaller man. "The fuck was with you trying to crawl into my hair the other day?" He asked. Fenris looked down then away. "Well...I kind of... always wanted to do that. Your hair is thick and luxurious. I just wanted to find out..." Fenris said looking away with a slight blush. Hawke must have found it strange for another man to be mildly obsessed with his hair. "Well you found out. I could have simply choked you with my hair." Hawke said as they continued to make their way back. Coming though the Wounded Coast yet again. It was a cool day from the rain.

As they got back to Kirkwall. It was very late. The sun had gone down and the moon was rising higher into the sky. Hawke stood silently as they entered the city. He took a deep breath and headed straight to Lowtown. Possibly the Hanged Man. Fenris sighed and figured he should hurry after him. Soon catching up with Hawke and following him to the suite he owned. Fenris walked in and looked around. Hawke was already laying in his bed. The main part of his armor removed along with his eye patch. Fenris tilted his head and set his stuff down as well. He went over to Hawke and crouched beside the bed. Openly staring at Hawke. Hawke looked at him and gave a growl. "The fuck you want?" He asked. Fenris just gripped the edge of the bed and looked away. "Um... It's really late... Can I..." He trials off. Hawke shakes his head before moving over. "Fine, get in." He said. Fenris got up under the covers and allowed Hawke a large part of the bed before he stretched. Why were other people's beds more comfortable than his own? Fenris allowed himself to be nearly consumed by the overly plush covers and mattress. Hawke gave a low laugh before going to sleep.

The next morning both warriors awoken by a pounding at the door. Did the others already know when they arrived? Fenris pulled a pillow over his head to drown out the noise being caused. Hawke gave a growl as he sat up. Wondering who could be knocking at the door this early in the morning. Hawke got up from the bed. His hair fell down in a mess around his shoulders. He walked over toward the door and opened it. Seeing Anders stand there before him. Hawke gave a deep sneer at the mage. "What do you want, Mage?" He asked angrily. "Hawke, please let me in. I need to talk to you! I have been waitting for you get back. If we can't talk here then maybe in my clinic?" The mage asked.

"Do I look like I care?" Hawke said leaning against the door.

"Please, just hear me out." Anders pleaded.

"Fine get in here. But make it quick."

Anders hurries into the room. He doesn't notice Fenris curled up in the blankets. But Fenris sure did notice him. Moving to a point where he was watching the mage.

"Have you noticed how many Tranquil are in the Gallows courtyard lately? And don't tell me I'm just sensitive to it. I've been watching and every day there are new Tranquil, selling their bloody wares. Good mages, too. People I know passed their Harrowing."

"Why does it fucking matter to you how many there are?"

"The templars are using the Rite of Tranquility to silence those who speak against them. They are working on a deliberate plan to turn every mage in Kirkwall within the next three years."

"Why should I fucking care? No get out." Hawke said reaching towards the mage.

"They were the ones who did it Bethany!" Anders said then getting Hawke to pause.

"What..."

"The plan is the work of Ser Alrik. You know. The one you assaulted and got thrown in jail for? He was the one to do the Rite to Bethany... Not only that. But I've had a run in with him myself. He's the one who did the ritual not just on Karl but your sister as well... Nasty piece of work, likes to make mages beg."

Hawke gave Anders a chilling look. "What else is there to know of that bastard?"

"The knight commander is at least sincere in her convictions. However misguided, she believes she's helping people. But... Ser Alrik's a sadist. Almost like you. Though he's cold blooded as a lizard. Unlike you, who kills people off in the worst way possible. Him... He likes to experiment on mages, find out what it takes to push them into the arms of demons."

"I can sleep easier knowing this about him. I was so tempted to kill him back then because he pissed me off. But now... I have a motive."

Anders swallowed at the homicidal smile Hawke gave. "M-my friends in the mage underground know a way inside.. A secret entrance under the walls of the Gallows. I need you to come with me, tonight, please. Help me find evidence of Ser Alrik's Tranquil Solution."

"..."

"That's what he calls it. His idea of a _peaceful_ solution to the mage problem - to sunder the mind of every mage in the Free Marches! I'm told he's bringing his proposal to Val Royeaux, to the Divine herself. He would turn every mage in Thedas into a drooling simpleton under his command!"

"I'll do it only to kill the son of a bitch who turned Bethany into that... Thing..." Hawke growled.

Anders nodded with understanding.

"Hawke... If something were to happen. Don't let me be turned Tranquil. I rather you kill me first before that. At least I would know you'd kill me outright. Plain and simple. A-anyway. I am ready when to go when you are. The entrance is concealed not far from my clinic."

With that being said Anders looks down before giving a nod and hurrying his way out of the room. Closing the door behind him. Hawke heard a disapproving growl from his bed. "I understand you wishing for revenge but must you help him in the process?" Fenris asked sitting up and glaring at Hawke. "Like I said. I am only doing this to get back at the fucker who shattered my sister's mind. I am not doing it for that damned mage. And if I wished to kill him off. It will be slow and painful. I rather he be a tranquil. Maybe then he would shut his fucking mouth." Hawke growled. "How hypocritical of you Hawke." The elf said crossing his arms. "I don't care much for the mage either but you are being very hypocritical." He said as he sat back upon the bed. Hawke merely huffed before pulling his hair back. Walking over to grab a brush and running it through his hair. Fenris gave a sigh before getting up to pull on the main part of his armor. Fenris was curious as to what they were going to do in the mean time. He looked over to Hawke to notice the man looking him over. Fenris felt a small shiver run up his spine. "What ever you are thinking, Hawke. You can forget it..." He said giving a low blush. Hawke gave a twisted grin as his tongue snaked out licking at his teeth and lips. "I have an idea of how to make this day pass much faster~" Hawke said lowly. His voice dropping lower as he gave an odd purring sound. Hawke began making his way towards Fenris. The elf stood his ground watching the large human. Knowing full well the man's intent. "Vos es iustus iens uti te ab ira mea turbata Templarii." Fenris said slowly. Hawke tilted his head slightly as if he understood somewhat. Whether he understood the language completely was unsure. He stepped into Fenris's personal space and stared him down. It wasn't aggressive in any way. But there was still pressure being exerted from the larger man. " Ego non mentis per te me." Fenris said not even pulling back from the larger man's grasp upon him. Though Hawke gave him an odd look. Seems the man was trying to understand. Hawke pulled Fenris closer, licking along his neck. Fenris looked off to the side and held his breath. Waiting for the larger man to bite in to his flesh. However he felt his chest plate get removed. He gave a growl as he looked at the man sideways. "I just put that on, Bastard..." He heard Hawke give a low laugh before biting into him. Resulting in Fenris giving a pained yelp.  
Hawke enjoyed it more when the elf wasn't bracing himself. The pained reaction is what he wanted. He didn't like it when his intended target was expecting it. Biting down with more force causing the elf to whine. Hawke wrapped his other arm around the elf's waist pulling him closer. Hawke pulled away after a bit. Blood dripping from his mouth from his teeth. Running his tongue along the open wound. He pulled back before moving to kiss Fenris. The elf froze for a moment.  
Fenris felt Hawke's tongue push into his mouth. Tasting his own blood along with Hawke. He gave a low whine, as he felt Hawke press up against him. This lasted a while before Hawke pulled away. Blood and saliva still linking their tongues together. Fenris took a deep breath as he looked up at Hawke. "Volo sanguinem ejus linguam meam..." He said lowly as he ran his hands up into Hawke's hair. Hawke looked at him with a slight tilt to his head. Fenris pulled himself up to kiss at Hawke, before moving to his neck. Hawke nearly pulled back from this. Pushing the man's hair out of the way before licking along his pulse. Hawke paused his movement and gave a light growl. Fenris bit down as hard as he could. In an attempt to bite through Hawke's skin. The human's skin was tougher than it looked. Fenris gave a low growl as he bit harder, only for his jaw to hurt. Hawke merely laughing at him. Fenris wasn't sure if he was able to even succeed at this. But he thought for a moment before pulling away. Seeing the faint formation of a bruise, accompanied but his teeth imprinted into the man's flesh. Finally taking note of the other various scaring around the man's neck. Deep faded gashes from what looked like claw marks. They were similar to other marks on Hawke's body. All were self-inflicted. He felt Hawke move from him. "That was adorable. But you didn't put enough force behind that bite. It is easy to tell you never bit anyone before." Hawke said as he looked down at the elf. "Now you know how to rend flesh from bone using your hands. Meaning you are skilled at it. Try biting through a part that is more slender. Like a wrist. With enough force you can sever the hand from a person's body." Hawke said as he let him go and moved from him. Fenris huffed irritably. He really did wish to know what Hawke's blood tasted like. Why he wished such knowledge was unclear. He still wanted it though. After all Hawke got to do such a demented thing to him. Why couldn't he have the same? Fenris paused at the slow realization that he was beginning to have notions of sick things that normally Hawke revels in. He took a deep breath and let it out before looking at his chest plate. Giving a low growl he snatched it up and affixed it back in place, again. Fenris looked up again to notice that Hawke left the room entirely. He wasn't even in the other room adjoined to it. He let a sigh and went to Varric's room. Fenris spent that time with Varric for a while before Aveline wandered in and sat down. and Aveline.

Hawke made his way towards Darktown. It was still day light, so he figured to talk to Anders. Mainly to hand off something he found a while back. It was an amulet of some sort. It looked relative to what he seen at Fenris's mansion. He tried to offer it to Fenris while they were camping out. The elf was furious at the gesture. Saying it is a Tevinter chantry amulet. He wanted nothing to do with it. So Hawke figured maybe the mage, Anders, would wish to have it. After all. Hawke did try to sell it. No one wanted it. He sure didn't want it either. As he made it to the Darktown clinic he saw Isabela there talking to Anders. Hawke walked in on a very strange conversation.

"-... don't come running to me next time you pick up one of these diseases." The mage said with a bit of a sneer. Isabela huffed angrily.

"Isn't that the point of magic?" She gave a pout. Turning around and walking towards the doors. Hawke giving her a disgusted look. She glared at him and went on her way.

"Don't want to even know..." Hawke said lowly as he walked up to the smaller man. The mage looked up at him almost hopeful of something, yet also distressed.

"Things just keep getting worse. I had templars practically on my doorstep the other night."

"Hunting you?" Hawke asked not entirely caring.

"Not me specifically. They were just checking the refugee camps. But it's not like this place is a secret. It's only a matter of time."

"Telling me something like that, I might have to do something with you. Maybe even lock you up..." Hawke said, though his tone was strange. It caused Anders to give a slight blush. Was Hawke flirting?

"They're not so much interested in me as... destroying my kind and all I represent. The knight commander is out of control. Even her own people have been talking about it. The curfews. The midnight raids on mage's families. Everyone I know, forced into hiding so they won't be made Tranquil."

Hawke gave a growl. "If anyone is going to deal with you, then it will be me. No one else is going to touch you..." Hawke said. His expression changing to a sadistic look of pleasure. Surely something popped into his head.

"Just being with me puts you at risk. The knight commander has declared supporting mages a hanging offense. I know you are strong. I know we aren't friends. But the thought of seeing them hurting you... Everything I've done to control this... I don't care. I would drown in blood to keep you safe." He said before realizing exactly what he just said to the man. He blushed and looked away. After all Hawke scared him a lot but the man also excited him in a weird way. He saw how close Hawke and Fenris had gotten. Though Anders is unsure if he even wishes to show interest in Hawke. Having flirted with the large man when they first met. How could anyone be attracted to some one like this? He looked up slightly to see a strange emotion in Hawke's eye. It was a look of amusement.

"Really now? You would do something so horrendous just for a me? You are right. We aren't friends yet you are willing to go that far? There is a reason I have yet to allow the templars to take you. Even if I can not stand you." Hawke said leaning forward. "There is something I want from you. Protection is not one of them." He said giving a sick purr before pulling away. "But enough. That is not why I even came here." He said lowly.

Digging into an unseen pocket. Hawke pulled a length of bronze chain out. He held it within his grasp as he nearly shoved it into Anders' chest. Opening his hand to show an amulet.

"Found this. You're more likely to make use of it than me."

Anders was stunned by this. Hawke never gives gifts without a motive. It was unheard of. Yet he noticed Fenris, Varric, and Aveline had obtained a gift from him. So what did it mean to receive one from him? Anders slowly took the gift from Hawke and just stared up at him.

"You got me a gift? I hardly think I've done anything to deserve that..." He looked down to inspect it. "Is it a... that's a Tevinter Chantry amulet!" He gasped before looking up at Hawke with wide eyes.  
"Do you want to get me executed?! It's sacrilege to wear those in any Land under the Divine." He said taking a step back. Hawke gave a low laugh as he shook his head.

"And here I thought you fight for mage's rights, whoever you piss the fuck off."

Anders was silent before giving a slight laugh. "I like it. Maybe not on the outside of my clothes - I'm not eager to face the hangman's noose - but I appreciate the thought. I never really thought about what life would be like in the Tevinter Chantry. In the Circle, they make it sound like the Void itself. The Black Divine, stalking Thedas, making it unsafe for kittens and virgins.

"Well maybe they need to find a nice strong guy to protect them." For some reason Hawke wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. His mind was drifting off somewhere as his body gave a slight twitch.

Anders didn't notice this as he laughed. "From what I hear about the Tevinters, that's the last thing they'd want. The virgins, anyway. I've never heard any horrific... kitten rituals. I appreciate the gift. Perhaps one day I can return one as meaning full." He said turning from Hawke to go sit down. Though he missed the sick twisted smile and evil look Hawke gave him.

In the back of Hawke's mind he had screamed, _Your blood_. His body gave a jerk as he grabbed his head. Looking down to the ground before turning around. His smile widening. He was getting a bit restless. His eye dilating wide as he walked out of the clinic. He took a deep breath before letting it out. If the mage had paid more attention. He would have noticed Hawke's gaze upon him. Hawke openly eyed the man's throat. He tasted the mage's blood before. It had a strange sweetness akin to fruit. Where as the elf's had a spicy and intoxicating taste to it. He slowly ran his tongue along his teeth as he walked back to Lowtown. It was staring to get late. Best get the elf and return. And hope for some unfortunate souls to put up a fight against them. He could just unleash all his building anger on them. All his aggression, his need for gore, and violence. He gave a wicked smile at the idea. Already devising ways of torturing and killing off their enemies. Remembering that he is finally going to kill that bastard templar that dare defied him and damaged his precious beloved sister.

After a few minutes he returns with Fenris in tow. They pick up Anders and head for the secret entrance. Anders is slightly curious as to why Fenris was going. Then again where ever Hawke went, Fenris went as well. The trio made their way into the abandoned mining tunnel and proceeded down some stairs. Anders felt strange leading the two dangerous warriors along with him. He suddenly wondered if he was doing right by going to Hawke. After all. Hawke was technically pro-templar. "Do not tell anyone about this way into the Gallows. It has saved the lives of hundreds of mages." He said lightly. Hearing Hawke give a growl. As they arrived at the small concealed opening. Anders took a deep breath.

"This is it. This tunnel will take us into the Gallows." Anders said.

"With any luck, we'll be mistaken for thieves and not conspirators." Fenris said crossing his arms. Anders ignored him.

"Are you ready to help me find evidence of the Tranquil Solution?"

"Go..." Was all Hawke said as he turned from Anders and jumped down the entrance. He could have just used the ladder. Fenris walked past Anders and dropped down with the ladder. Ander took a breath and went down as well.

Dropping into a dank musty cavern. It looked like the rest of Darktown untill they walked a fair distance. Abandoned mining carts and other various mining equipment were scattered in disarray. Rusting from the moist air that hung heavy. To a point of being able to see it in the small rays of light that somehow filtered through. "It tells you something of Kirkwall's attitude, that they house their mages in an old slave prison." Anders said. "If we find evidence of Ser Alrik's plans, I'm taking it straight to the grand cleric. She will not be able to claim neutrality then." He said as he followed after Hawke and Fenris.

They continued along further till they came down some old rickety stairs. Up ahead in the dim cave were a group of people. They didn't look like templars. They were carrying a glowing crystal. More like crystals. They had a familiar feel to them as far as Hawke could tell from the distance. As they got closer Hawke became aware that what the men had was lyrium. The men must have been smuggling lyrium to the Templars. Hawke pulled free his axe as he glared into the dim cavern. He could hear and smell the enemies, even if he was unable to see them. They went forward and engaged the smugglers. There were dwarves and humans alike who reacted in shock at Hawke stumbling upon them. "They're on to us boys. Let's make sure these guys don't go any further!" One man yelled as he drew his weapon. Though he barely had any chance of attacking as his face met with the sharp end of an axe. Slicing through his head before he was even able to say anything else. His body collapsed with a thump upon the ground. The other smugglers quickly got over their shock to attack back. One man charging at Fenris. Three targeting Hawke. Anders fought from a distance. He shot a powerful blast of ice at one man who was about to jump upon Hawke. The man let out a scream as his body froze to solid ice. Hawke turned around and nearly marveled at the man. He reared his head back and slammed it to the frozen man's. Knocking his head off with a loud crack. Giving a laugh as he slammed his knee into its chest. Shattering it to pieces. Frozen chunks of meat scattering everywhere. Hawke's eye lit up at this display. "Again~" He said loudly as if this sight entertained him beyond anything else he has seen. Anders cringed at the eagerness in Hawke's voice for carnage. Fenris ignored the man as he swung his sword through another smuggler. Cutting him in half. The man fell to the ground and gasped futility. Fenris slammed his sword into the man's skull, killing him. Being unable to even watch as the man suffered slowly. Wishing to end the man's life quickly. Anders continued with his magic flinging at a safe distance. Hawke was all to happy to get up close and personal.

After the smugglers were taken care of. Hawke's need for blood only grew. Anders shivered as he looked around and sighed. "Lyrium smugglers built these tunnels. To service the templars who crave the stuff." He said walking pasted the disembodied corpses. Which were scattered about in bits and pieces mainly due to Hawke. They continued on further through the tunnels. Both Fenris and Anders took note of Hawke's twitching. It was a clear sign that he was still wishing for blood. His violent urge to brutally murder a certain someone nearly driving him mad, if he wasn't mad already. Shortly after walking a good bit of distances, large spiders attacked. They were crushed easily due to Hawke hacking away at them. They were really like their tiny counterparts. Rip their legs off and they were no longer a threat. Further in they encountered more smugglers. Dealing with them was the same as earlier. There was nothing the smugglers could really do as Hawke's thirst for blood was still not sated. Though the killing was riling him up to a point of being over excited. The anticipation of murdering the templar who he had it out for was more than enough to make him hurry. Hawke began clawing at his eye patch then. His other hand held onto his axe and wouldn't release it. He began dragging it behind him. Fenris swallowed a bit and took a deep breath. Anders put himself on the other side of Fenris. A bit afraid of seeing Hawke like this. Fenris on the other hand didn't seem to move away from Hawke. Almost like he was used this happening.

Soon after traversing the tunnel for a while. They came upon an area where there were templars. They had a young girl cornered. This woman shook in fear before the templars. She wore a faded purple robe. Her hair dark like her skin. Her eyes wide with fear. The templars approached her in a menacing fashion. "No...please! I haven't done anything wrong." The girl said as she backed away. A chilling familiar voice rang out that boiled Hawke's blood. The templar that stepped forward was non-other than Alrik.

"That's a lie. What do we do to mages that lie?" He said in a sick purring tone equal to Hawke's own.

"I just wanted to see my mum. No one ever told her where they were taking me." The girl said as she started to cry.

"No. No, this is their place. We cannot..." Anders whispered as he saw what was going on. His body started to glow and spark lightly as he closed his eyes tight.

"So, you admit your attempted escape? You know what happens to mage girls who don't tow the line around here, don't you?" Alrik said with a hint of amusement in his voice. Hawke's body gave a jerk. The young girl reminded him of Bethany.

The young girl fell to her knees as she cried a bit harder. "Please, no! Don't make me Tranquil! I'll do anything!"

"That's right. Once you're Tranquil, you'll do anything I ask." He said taking a step closer with a wicked smile. Hawke couldn't stand it.

"Keep your fucking hands off her!" Hawke barked with a snarl as his body gave a jerk. His grip tightened on his axe as he stepped forward. Beside him Anders could no longer hold Justice. His body lit up with the blue sparks of magic whirling around him as his eyes began to glow.

"You fiends will never touch a mage again!" Justice yelled, calling through Anders.

The mage girl crawled back and cowered into a rock and covered her head. The four templars charged the three men. Alrik gave a surprised look as he came face to face with Hawke. Whose sick twisted grin exposed his sharp teeth. His tongue snaking out in an overly delighted fashion. His eye becoming wide. Alrik swung his sword against Hawke cutting into Hawke's flesh but it stopped as it clanged against metal. The odd interior patch work of metal in each part of his leather armor stopping the blade from moving deeper. Had Alrik impaled Hawke with the blade it may have done more damage. Especially at the seams of his armor. Hawke gave a laugh as he looked at the blade attempted to cut into his ribcage. He swung his axe up and Alrik jumped back. Alrik frowned heavily. Taking note of the fact that Hawke was left-handed. Alrik would not be able to use his shield arm to protect himself from the man. Another templar not far off disappeared into nothingness. Fenris yelled out a warning to both Hawke and Anders. "Watch the shadows!" He called out. Anders ran towards Hawke and dropped to the ground as Hawke spun his axe in a wide circle. Slicing straight through the hidden rogue templar. The man collapsed to the ground as his intestines erupted from his body. Partly being caught on Hawke's blade. Fenris swung to finish the man off. Granting him a swift death. Another templar ran full force at Fenris. Only to be blind sided by a blast of ice from Anders. Fenris took that moment to impale the man using his sword. Using his strength to hurl that man into another templar. Alrik gave a growl as he watched the other two templars crumple to the ground. He charged at the elf, knowing full well of Hawke's power. He knew full well of the force Hawke could put behind attacks. He needed to avoid close combat with Hawke at all costs.  
Jumping at Fenris, swinging his sword down upon the elf. Fenris deflected the strike using his own sword and a burst of energy came off the elf that stunned the templar. The blast felt like liquid fire being burned into his skin. It caused him to take a deep breath. That sort of ability should only be possible of templars. The energy was the same as lyrium. Did this elf have lyrium on him. It was only then that he noticed the tattoo scaring on this elf light up. He attempted to rush at him again but was blindsided by Hawke charging into him. He was off balance enough as it was. Then being rammed into with crushing force. Alrik felt a sharp pain run through him along with a loud snap. His sword arm went lip as he hit the rocks on the cavern's wall. His eyes widened at the pain running through his body. He got up and coughed. Attempting to move just to feel a cold pain biting into his legs. He looked down to see ice forming on him. Leaving him immobile. He looked to stare into Hawke's face once again. His ice blue eyes locked with the solitary torrent sea which was Hawke's. He noticed blood and bits of flesh covering Hawke's teeth. Looking past the large human to see the rendered throats of the other templars. A good portion of flesh ripped from the neck and shoulder of one of the now dead templars. Looking back at Hawke's wicked smile. Alrik swung his shield arm hard. The shield collided with Hawke's face. A loud clang of metal resounded. Blood started to seep down Hawke's face. He frowned for a brief moment as if trying to register the action in his mind. He tilted his head to the side before his grin came back. Latching onto the templar's arm and harshly twisting it till another snap was heard. The templar let out a scream. During this a few more templars showed up and started to fire arrows. Anders and Fenris dealt with them as Hawke focused on torturing Ser Alrik. "I... Never liked you... Alrik... Though knowing that you were the cause of my sister being defiled and branded." Hawke says slowly. Alrik's eyes widened. His calm demeanor falling away to true fear and terror. "Don't think I didn't notice the bruises on her body. The very sound of your voice as you spoke to that mage girl over there told your intent with her." Hawke said lowly as he inched his face towards his. "I hate when people abuse women. It makes my blood boil. It makes me want to kill~" He says as his smile widens. His breathing becoming labored as it grew uneven. "I will enjoy ripping you to shreds slowly~" Hawke laughed as he dug his clawed gauntlets further into Alrik's arm before twisting it around. Gripping tightly as he suddenly jerked it. A sick wet snap resounded through the cavern as blood erupted from the forcibly removed arm. It was so sudden that Alrik's body didn't register the pain till after it was removed. Hawke paused as he heard Anders shouting. Well more of it was Justice screaming like a banshee. Hawke gave a sigh before slammed his head into Alrik's knocking him out for the time being.

"They will die! I will have every last templar for these abuses!"

"We'll kill them. Sooner or later..." Hawke said lowly as he stared down at Alrik before walking over to deal with Anders and Justice.

"Every one of them will feel justice's burn." Justice said staring back at Hawke.

"Get away from me, demon!" The girl yelled as Anders/Justice got closer to the girl. The merged duo turned to her.

"I am no demon! Are you one of them that you would call me such?"

"Touch her I will hurt you. Besides, wasn't she the reason you went bat-shit crazy?" Hawke said latching onto the man and jerking him back.

"She is theirs! I can feel their hold on her!" He growled.

"Isn't she the reason you're fighting?" Hawke growled back.

"Please messere..." The girl pleaded closing her eyes. Ander/Justice went to attack her. Hawke spun them around and landed a heavy blow to their face. Knocking them down. The girl got up and ran for her life. Anders was knocked for a loop before shaking his head and holding his jaw.

"Maker... no... I almost...If you weren't here..." He said terrified of what he nearly done. He started to cry, whether from pain or emotion. "I-I need to get out of here." He said fleeing from the area. Fenris shook his head and looked over to Alrik. Hawke huffed as he turned his attention back to the templar.

Hawke gave a wicked smile once again as he walked over and kicked the templar onto his back. Hawke tilted his head before picking his foot up and holding it over the man's face. The blood loss had rendered Alrik unable to wake up. Hawke grinned as he slammed his armored boot down into the man's face. He did this repeatedly till the templar's face and skull were nothing but a bloody mess. Fenris cringed and looked away. Hawke knelt down and started digging through the man's belongings. After all, Alrik was dead, he didn't need his stuff any longer. Hawke pulled off a note before tossing it to the side. Hawke grabbed his axe and stood up. Swinging it down mutliple times till the body was nothing more than a mess. Fenris looked away from this and noticed the paper that fluttered down. He snatched it up and looked it over. "Hawke... The mage might want this..." He said as he handed the message to Hawke, after reading it to Hawke. "Also we should get you cleaned up before leaving this place." Fenris said with a sigh. Hawke looked himself over and merely laughed. Blood drenched his face nearly. He took a clean clothe and proceeded to take the blood from his mouth and face at least.

The duo made their way back towards Darktown via the tunnel. They walked out from the tunnel to see the girl that was in there before. She walked up to them and stared wide-eyed at Hawke.

"You, you saved my life, messere. What was that thing?" She asked.

"An abomination and a demon, whether he admits it or not. Then again I am one as well..." Hawke said scratching at his beard with a yawn. The girl backed away in fear and shock. She looks down to the ground.

"Can I... go home now?

"Alrik is gone. You would be safer at the Circle..."

"Without Ser Alrik... Maybe it's not so bad. Thank you again, messere." She said before heading off back to the Circle.

Hawke and Fenris soon made their way back to the Clinic. Just to check on Anders. Even though they both hated him. They walk in on him digging through things.

"Trash. Trash. Keep. Trash. Trash... Won't be needing that anymore..." He said angrily under his breath. Hawke stalked over to him and glared down at him.

"Stop your whining and look at this. The Tranquil Solution ended with him..." He said holding out the paper.

"Let me see that! The Divine... rejected the idea. Meredith rejected the idea! This was... not what I expected. Perhaps I should try talking to the grand cleric. Maybe she's more reasonable than I thought. Thank you."

Both warriors left and went home leaving Anders to think. The next day Hawke felt he had to check on the mage just to see what and how he was doing.

He walks in and tilts his head. Seeing Anders bending over. Tilting his head to the side, Hawke spoke up.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting out milk. I miss having a cat around. But I think the refugees have scared them all off. Or maybe eaten them... You know. I've been meaning to thank you. I know you hate me. You don't need to stick your neck out for the mages here. But you still have. You let those apostates from Starkhaven start over. Maybe they can be an example for the world." Anders said smiling. Hawke frowned and crossed his arms.

"I didn't intend to do that. I just fucking hated that templar they sent to get them. Also... I was hungry..." Hawke said with a huff.

"I know... Still. That's what maters. You follow your convictions, whether it is right or wrong. You... You sounded like you still believed in me after what I nearly did to that poor girl. I knew you ment it. One thing I learned about you is you don't lie. You wouldn't say it just to make me feel better. You make me think I can really do this, lead a revolution."

"Sounding more and more like me now, Anders..."

"You said my name! Ha! I can't believe it! Finally!"

Hawke growled dangerously at him and looked away.

"Besides, no small change would address the injustice that mages face. The Chantry itself must be overturned. There will always be mages born in Thedas. But templars are made by men... and they can be unmade."

Hawke gave a low laugh as he crossed his arms. "Why do none of my comrades ever just want to be the best wallop player in Lowtown?"

This got Anders to laugh as well. "What the great and terrifying Hawke deign to associate with the best wallop player in Lowtown? Seriously, though. I... wouldn't be able to do this without your influence. I couldn't... hold onto the spirit of vengeance inside me. But I know you won't let me lose myself to him." He said with a smile as he turned from Hawke and walked away.  
Hawke uncrossed his arms and shook his head. He hated that mage but yet... He respected him. He might rethink the whole tranquil Anders thing. He turned and left the clinic wondering what the elf was up to.

* * *

 **A/N This took me much longer to write than it should have.  
Anyway. Fenris speaks a bit of his native language in this.  
** **They are listed here. Translating them to latin is easy. But translating them back.  
Some words are lost in translation...Some are added.  
**

 **You're just going to use my body to distract yourself from your rage of the templar.**  
 **=  
Vos es iustus iens uti te ab ira mea turbata Templarii**

 **I don't mind you using me. = Ego non mentis per te me.**

 **I want your blood on my tongue. / I want his blood on my tongue.**

 **Volo sanguinem ejus linguam meam.**


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55 All Talk**

* * *

It well into noon when Hawke arrived at the Hanged Man. It has been a few days since what happened with to Alrik. Hawke was bored out of his mind. Normally he went to pester Fenris, however, the elf was doing a merc job at the moment. The elf needed money. Thus leaving Hawke to be lost among his own thoughts. He looked around and decided to talk to someone of the opposite sex for once. He didn't really like Isabela, but he respected her. He walked over to her usual post at the bar. He saw some slick noble man walk up to her. Hawke tilted his head. Wasn't that guy the Bad Poet? Hawke could hear the man speaking.

"Isabela! My dusky goddess!" The man started. Isabela nearly dropped her head into her hands. "You have buried yourself in the flesh of my heart, like a worm in a red, red apple. You heart worm, you!" He finished. That poem, if it could even be called a poem, was terrible. Hawke stopped right beside the pirate and shook his head.

"Oh, look, my friend is here. Excuse me." Isabela said quickly glad for the distraction from the poet.

"But I haven't gotten to the part where I invite you to feast upon my tender white flesh!" He said in desperation. Getting both Hawke and Isabela to stare at him openly in disbelief.

"That's all right. I think I'll manage." She said walking away from the poet to saunter up straight to Hawke. The poet stared down in defeat and walked away.  
"Speaking of romance..." She started again. Hawke gave a dangerous growl, knowing full well what was going to be said. "You and Fenris, eh? That taut, controlled body, the brooding demeanor, and intense gaze... I hear he still wears the shackles from his life in bondage... under his clothes. You know what they say about men like that, don't you?" She finished giving a devious gaze with a catty grin.

Hawke frowned deeply. The way she spoke was eluding to a joke. A very dirty and filthy joke. He gave a sigh as he moves his hand to his head, clawing against the twisted metal crown. "What do they say..." He groaned, waiting for the perverse joke to be told.

"He can't find a saw." She said pursing her lips together to keep herself from laughing right then. Hawke gave her a dumbfounded look.

"The fuck?" He responded.

Isabela busted out laughing at this. "I had you there! You thought I was going to say something dirty!" She continued laughing as Hawke turned and walked away. "Wait for me! I'm bored!" She said following after him.

Hawke didn't care if she followed him, to be honest. For some strange reason he had the sudden urge to check on Merrill. He didn't like her still. Last time he saw her, she was deeply troubled by Paul's death. He suddenly glared at Isabela and gave a low growl. She pouted at him and turned to bug Varric.

Hawke left out the tavern and headed past his uncle's house towards the alienage. He got a few stares from the residents, though they said nothing to him. He walked up to Merrill's house, not seeing her in the front room. He walked over to her bedroom door and saw her sitting on the floor. Staring at the mirror in her room. Hawke gave a low sigh. He might as well try to cheer the girl up. He had even found something that she would like. It was a tiny wooden halla. He walked over to her and looked down at her. She looked up at him and got off the floor. Seemed she was still thinking back on what happened. She walked over to him and laid her head upon his chest. Getting Hawke to stare down at her quizzically.

"Hawke... I could never have faced the Keeper myself..." She said slowly. It has been a few weeks considered what happened. But she must have kept thinking about it for her to bring this up. It was possible she was still saddened by this. Hawke's body gave a slight twitch a he felt her hug him. He was sorely tempted to rip her from him. To push her aside. His respect for women prevented this. Though he couldn't help but have the urge to shove her away harshly. Being gentle was not something he was accustom to.

"I never imagined a human would help me restore Dalish history. No one ever understood Not the Keeper, not my clan... just you." She said. Hawke took a deep breath.

"I'm... brutal and aggressive yet loyal and understanding of hardship...Why else would you look up to me?" He said slowly. He was beginning to grow uneasy of this whole hugging thing.

"But you are so kind and caring... Why else would you help me?"

"Sounds like you want something from me..."

"Nothing! Oh, not that I'm saying that I want you to... I'll stop talking now." She said hiding her face further into his leather armor. It was much softer than it looked. Even if the hard planes of his chest and stomach could be felt through it. Not that she was paying attention. She forced herself to stop thinking on that.

"You're the first real friend I've ever had. Ma serannas, lethallin." She said softly. Still smiling bright. She felt Hawke place his hand heavily on her delicate shoulder and removed her from him. He was holding something out to her. His eye closed.

"Here. Take this." He said. She could hear how commanding he was, even if his voice was soft. Well, she thought it was soft, anyway.

"Ooh~ Did you get this from Master Ilen? Mythal! Did I miss some important occasion! I'm so sorry! I'll make it up to you, I promise!" She said as she began to panic. Hawke shook his head.

"It's just a gift. Nothing to panic over."

"I said something stupid, haven't I? Just... No one has ever given me a present before. Useful things. Tools or clothes. Because I needed them. Not... just because. Ma serannas. I'll find a good place for this." She said giving a bright smile before hurrying out of the room.

Hawke rolled his eye as he shook his head. This girl was something. He left out of her room and started to head to the front door. "See you later." He said walking out the door. Merrill watched him go and stared down at her feet. She looked back up to say something but he already left.

Hawke gave a sigh as he left. He couldn't help but feel that Merrill was leading on to something. Though that girl was pure and for the most part innocent. The likely hood of her wishing for something of a romantic nature was probably slim to none. Even more so that Hawke preferred men.

Speaking of men. He had to do a run by the Gallows. In order to bring a few supplies to a man named Solvictius. It didn't take long for Hawke to get to a boat and ride to the Gallows. It began to get darker. He made it there in time to drop off the supplies the mage wished for. Why he was doing this for the mage was simple. Hawke got discounts on herbal remedies, and other various things. He soon got back on the boat leading to the Docks.

He began to make his way back through Lowtown when he was struck with the sudden urge to see Merrill again. He gave a deep sigh. Turning to head towards her home. He made it to the alienage once again. Going up to her door and letting himself in. He walked into her home to see her sitting in her chair. Her head in her hands. She looked up before looking down. Suddenly looking back up as if he surprised her greatly. She must have not expected him to return. "Oh! Hawke! Come in. I... was just..." She started. Hawke walked further in to look at her. He never bothered visiting her often. Maybe he should have. Though the majority of the time he just didn't give a damn. He didn't even feel guilty about it. He stood there waiting for her to speak.

"Am I crazy?" She asked suddenly."

"What do you mean..." He said moving to sit down on her table. It was much sturdier than the small chair beside it. It creaked under his weight.

"I thought the arulin'holm would fix everything. The mirror would work, and everything would be right again... But I kept dreaming of Paul's face. Everyone that I care for thinks I'm a monster."

"They brand you the monster. If they knew what I was. They would try to kill me. I'm the true monster. You are what one considers loveable. I can't imagine anyone else being like you."

"That's so untrue. I can think of someone loveable... I... you've been so good to me. Someday I'll make this up to you, lethallin." She said with a gentle smile.

Merrill watched as Hawke got up. Making his way to the door and leaving her alone. She smiled more to herself. She felt so many butterflies in her stomach. Everyone was afraid of Hawke. She should be too. Till she figured out how sweet he was. Even if no one else believed her. She was sure that he was a nice person. That deep down. He was good. That he wasn't the monster he said himself to be. She slightly wondered if he felt the same why for her as she felt towards him. She didn't just idolized him. She felt for him. Felt deeply for him. Sadly she didn't know that him and Fenris were a thing. No one told her, yet. She got up from her chair and walked to her room. Looking down at her bed for a what seemed like a long time.

Back with Hawke. He made his way home through the alley way he knew. Quickly getting to Hightown. Coming out near Fenris's mansion. He stared for a bit before heading home. As he got home he was presented a letter by Orana. "Here you go master." She said bowing to him. "Read it to me, Orana." He said walking past her to his room. Orana looked up stunned and quickly followed. She walked into his room as she opened the letter. She looked up and blushed as Hawke was removing his clothes. "S-should I wait outside, Master?" She asked hesitantly. "No. It is fine. Just read the letter to me." He said leaving his pants on. She nodded. "Hawke, I found a lead on our cargo thefts and have urgent need of your expertise. Please meet me in Hightown's market during business hours. Hubert." She said as he looked up at him. "Right... That man who insisted on making me his partner after I said no... I will see to him when ever Fenris gets back. He should be back sometime tomorrow." He said as he took his eye patch off. "Thank Orana. You may leave now if you wish." He said as he sat down on his bed. Orana nodded quickly and hurried out the room.

After a while it became night. Hawke laid on his bed staring at the canopy above him. He didn't have many thoughts on the day. Other than the fact he had missed the Branded Elf's prattle. He gave a light growl. There was a reason he didn't wished to get close in the first place. But he couldn't help it. That elf was just too deliciously tempting for him to resist. He then gave another growl. Wondering if someone was looking at Fenris the way he does. He would kill anyone who tried to take him. Hawke remembered what had transpired the other day.

-o-o-

"You're leaving?" Hawke said glaring at the elven male. Fenris sighed as he looked up at Hawke. "Not for long. I am just doing a mercenary job. It isn't far out of the city. And before you ask. I'll be fine." Fenris said trying to calm the mounting rage of his significant. After all, he was low on money and wished for a job. Being an elf didn't really help, nor did his appearance. So mercenary work was the top choice. He did merc work before, but quit. Hawke being that reason for him quitting. The large human gave a low growl at him.

"The fuck am I suppose to do while you are out and about?" He had growled.

Fenris gave a short laugh. "Go harass somebody. Or hunt for wanted criminals. What ever you use to do before terrorizing me." Fenris said. Hawke shook his head.

"I enjoy torturing you however. There is no one else who reacts the way you do~" Hawke said giving a smile.

"Right. Because no one in their right mind would let you do that to them willingly." He said. As he walked to the door of the estate.

"I might as well drink again." Hawke murmured.

"You start drinking again and I will stab you repeatedly with a spoon." Fenris threatened.

"Why a spoon?" Hawke inquired.

"Because, it hurts more. It bruises you first before cutting through. Dealing much more pain than a fork or knife. Also I have enough power to do such a thing. Then again you would enjoy it you sick fuck."

"True. I would enjoy it~"

-o-o-

Hawke gave a low laugh as the flashback ended. He was about to drift off to sleep. Just to have one of his servants. Wake him. Bodahn was at the door. "Um, Someone is here to see you, messere." He said slowly. Hawke sat up from his bed. He gave a low groan as he got up from his bed and went to his door. Wondering just who was visiting him so late at this time of night. He didn't even bother to wear his robe. Walking down the stairs in just his pants. Even if they hung a bit too low. He paused as he got to the front foyer. Seeing the tiny Merrill there. Pausing to gawk at her in confusing. Why was she here at this time of night?

"Oh, thank goodness you're here! I thought you went to the Hanged Man. And I almost went there to look for you first, but then I thought you might have gone to see your uncle instead... And I'm rambling, aren't I?" She said stopping her pacing of his foyer to look at him. Her face darkened as she looked him over. She seemed to squirm a bit in her spot. This was actually the first time she even saw Hawke like this. Though Hawke didn't give a flying fuck as to how he was dressed. Merrill swallowed lightly as she forced herself to not look at Hawke's chest. Though she noted he had chest hair like Varric. Except Hawke's was in a diamond shape that lead down his stomach into his pants... Back to his face! Her checks turned a deep red as she forced herself to look him in the eye only. Ignoring how well-built he was. He just looked so strong and there her mind went once again as she looked over his naked upper body. A growl from him finally made her focus on his face for good.

"I don't really mind anymore. The way your face turns red when flustered is a bit adorable..." Hawke said. Though it reminded him of how Fenris got when he was embarrassed. Fenris would stutter with an angry pout. His attention was brought back to Merrill.

"After you left, I... couldn't stop thinking about Paul and the mirror, and everything that's happened. I wonder if... if I've made a mistake. Leaving the Dalish." She said looking up at him.

"Leaving was you're choice. You were giving the option to stay. But you insisted upon leaving. It was your decision. You should stand by it."

"I suppose if I hadn't left my people. I never would have met you. I-if you were Dalish, my people would have a kingdom by now. And half of Thedas would be attacking us. So maybe things worked out for the best."

Hawke tilted his head slightly. "... Are... You bothered by me being human?"

"No! I'm not saying I'd change you for... I'm making things worse, aren't I? I just... I'm one of the elvhen. I'm suppose to preserve who e are, and if I... There are reasons that it's hard to... is it warm in here? Elgar'nan, I'll stop talking now." She says quickly looking down.

"I'm not an elf... There is no point in wishing otherwise. I am what I am."

"I wasn't! N-not... exactly. The Keeper - my whole clan - will object if we... not that they can possibly hate me anymore, I suppose." She said looking down.

Hawke's eye widened as he suddenly growled. Getting Merrill to jump slightly.

"Nothing is going to happen between us. Have you not noticed I am gay as fuck?" Hawke said shaking his head at her. She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"G-gay? As in... Oh no. No of course not... We won't be... That... would be impossible to imagine, wouldn't it?" She said backing up with her face a vibrant red. "Anyway... I should go. Thank you for... talking with me, Hawke." She says backing up further to the door.

"Now hold the fuck on Merrill. You thought I was..." Hawke said shaking his head.

"I-I am just going to forget all this happened!" She nearly screamed. Her face full of embarrassment. As she opened the door and hurried home.

"Poor girl. What made her believe there was a chance to begin with?" He said to himself before giving a nod of understanding. "Right... My respect for women make me play nice to women. No wonder so many women want me. Ugh. Even if I don't want them. Hope she gets over it..." He says pausing before cursing under his breath. "I am going to have to fucking deal with this shit later..." He said walking to bed once again. The awkwardness of the whole situation was just that. Awkward.

Merrill hurried her way back to Lowtown horribly flustered. As she got to Lowtown. She went to the Hanged Man instead. Needing to talk to someone about what happened. She walked into the bar and found Isabela. She hurried her way over to the busty pirate. Who saw her and waved. "Hey kitten. What are you doing up so late?" The pirate asked. Before actually taking a good look at her. "Your face is all red. What happened?" She asked. Merrill took a deep breath before nearly shouting, "What does gay mean?!" The elf blushed as she covered her face. Isabela laughed.

"Well, Kitten. It is when two men or women fancy each other. Why do you ask?"

"Hawke said he was gay..."

"Oh, Merrill. Hawke _is_ gay. Meaning he enjoys private time with other men. Like Fenris. They do adult things with each other. Why are you asking this?"

"B-because... I... well... I wanted him to do naughty things with me!" She whined.

Isabela started laughing before covering her mouth. "Poor Merrill. Come here." Isabela said opening her arms. Merrill huddled close and hugged her. Feeling the pirate hug her back.

Isabela cuddled with Merrill and brought the elf to her room. That where Merrill could tell her everything that happened that day.

* * *

 **A/N Sorry for such a short chapter. Even though the chapters for this story started off like this.  
Don't worry though next chapter is going to be long. Also.  
I had gotten sick the first week, then my little cousin got sick and had to tend to him the second week. But we are okay!  
** **Anyway, Act two is almost over! And I am very excited to work on the ending.  
There will be so much blood and fighting! But before that. Next chapter deals with the quest Inside Job.**


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56 Inside Job**

* * *

Hawke made his way over to Fenris's mansion the next day, prior after leaving the Hanged Man. Having talked to Isabela and Varric that morning. Walking into the elf's home while he was gone. Surely the elf will be back today. After all the mercenary job wasn't to be too long. He walked into the mansion and headed straight for the cellar. Digging through the vast amounts of wine bottles. Giving a few a swift taste before discarding them. They tasted horrid. He gave a growl as he left out of the cellar to walk about the elf's room. Making himself comfortable upon the elf's bed. It cried out under his weight and for a moment, he thought it would break. The bed was not well-built for someone his size, despite the bed being king sized. Hawke grew slightly agitated as he stood up from the bed and glared at the bed. Did the elf really sleep on this poor excuse of a mattress? He yawns as he goes downstairs. Heading out into the courtyard in order to train for a bit. Morning begins to let into noon.

Fenris arrives back home close to noon. With the sun high in the sky. He had stopped by the Hanged Man first. Only seeing Varric and Isabela there. He soon had left to check at Hawke's estate. His servants said he had left that morning. Fenris knew that Hawke must be at his home. Some where. He walked into his house and saw clear signs that Hawke was there. He sighed as he walked up to his room. Expecting to see Hawke there but noticing he wasn't there. He tilts his head to the side confused for a moment. Till he hears someone training in the backyard. He looks out the window to see Hawke taking out the training dummies. Fenris sighs and shakes his head before hurrying downstairs and outside. Stopping a little ways outside the back door. Watching Hawke deal high amounts of damage to the dummies. Hawke's harsh crushing blow chopped the hard pressed wooden dummy in half. Causing it to splinter into multiple pieces. Hawke gave a laugh as he pulled free his axe. "So what happened the other day while I was gone?" Fenris asked as he walked up to Hawke. The larger man turned to him and huffed. "Just the weirdest thing. For once I decided to check on Merrill. She was still distraught about that Paul guy. Then last night as I was about to fall asleep. She comes over thinking that we going to have sex. I am sure she has no idea of what sex is. But she went on about wanting me..." Hawke said. Getting Fenris to look at him shocked. "Wait... What?" Hawke gave a slight huff. "Exactly." Hawke said putting his axe away. "You can't be serious... She wanted you..." Fenris said. He looked a tad bit upset by this news. He knew Hawke was gay and that Merrill was of no real rival threat. Though still someone else wanted Hawke. It bothered Fenris. He didn't like the thought of some one else touching Hawke. Was he starting to get jealous? He shook his head as he turned around and went back inside. The larger man following him. "Any way. I received a letter as well yesterday. I had one of my servants read it to me. Bodahn has taught Orana well on how to read. Turns out that pompous noble Hubert wishes my help. Some sort of investigation he had been doing on the cargo thefts has finally paid off. Even though I didn't want to own half the damned mine. He put it in my name anyway. I guess extra coin didn't hurt over the years. Still... It had better not be a waste of my fucking time..." Hawke growled. Fenris simply nodded. Knowing full well that he was going to accompany Hawke over there. He went back to his room and proceeded to put a few things up. He gave a yawn for he was tired from the job he had ran. He could feel Hawke staring at him. He simply ignored it. Getting ready to leave. Placing his sword upon his back. Walking after Hawke as the man started to leave.

"So you tend to deal with Hubert and his so-called lead?"

"Yes. With any luck it won't be a waste of my damn time."

"Any how. How was your day yesterday? Besides being hit on by someone who doesn't understand sex."

"Besides that, absolutely boring... What about you?"

"I was asked to help be a guard for some mercenary group. They blew up a bridge. I am now even sure what they where planning. But, I got paid quite a big sum."

"So You helped blow up a bridge?"

"No, I just watched."

"It would have been much more impressive had you blown it up."

"Well, how many people can say they got paid to watch a bridge blow up?"

"True."

Hawke slowed his pace as he walked into market area. Looking around for Hubert. Seeing the noble standing there pacing in front of his stall. He looked up for a moment before looking down. Pausing and looking up a second time. He quite his pacing and clapped his hands together.

"You got my letter." He said with a sigh of relief.

Hawke gave a low growl. "You have been gone a while. Here I thought you could do things on your own."

"I told you I would handle this, and I did! Now, after a year of raids on our shipments, I finally caught one of the culprits!" Said Hubert excitedly. Hawke gave a sneer accompanied with a dark glare. Hubert took a breath as he quickly looked away before making eye contact again.

"One of our miners, Sabin, has been leaking information. Do you know him? He claims to be from your hometown in Fereldan. I would like you to get this festering sore to divulge who is behind the thefts. When you are ready, I will bring Sabin, to you."

"Who the fuck is Sabin?" Hawke questioned aloud rather than in his mind.

"I would not expect you to recall every pisspot from your past."

"I don't like friends I've never met." The man growled, his teeth showing off dangerously.

"Well, he brags to his fellows that he grew up with you in Lothering." The merchant said shifting in his spot. Having to work with Hawke was the most unsettling things ever. He sometimes regrets offing half the share of the mine to the paler man. Hubert tends to avoid Hawke as much as possible. The larger man was a bit volatile at best.

"Bring Sabin to my estate." Hawke said chillingly as he turned from Hubert.

"Excellent idea! I will get him now." The merchant hurried away as Hawke left the market.

Fenris remained silent as he followed Hawke back home. As they entered, he watched as Hawke gave a low growl. A slight twitch running through him. He seemed to be trying to remember who in the void this Sabin was. Though given Hawke's nature. If you weren't important enough or you haven't done anything, to warrant you to be remembered. You were just forgotten entirely. Hawke wasn't the kind of person who seemed to have made friends when he was younger. As Bethany and his mother both said time and time again. He never had friends, besides the two before whatever incident that made Hawke the way he was. He was a very violent person who hated being around people. Though his communication skills had gotten better over the years he was in Kirkwall, he is still unfiltered in what he says and also disturbing at best. Fenris refocused his attention on Hawke, as he watched the man pace. It got to a point where the man's servants left. Hawke was grabbing at the side of his head again. A slight metallic scrapping was heard. Hawke began to walk up the stairs and went into his room slamming the door. Fenris nearly flinched when he heard an outraged yell that shook the very stone foundation of the estate. Hawke must not be able to recall who Sabin even was. It must have truly angered Hawke.

Fenris heard the door of the estate open. Hubert walked in. A woman behind him was dragging Sabin. "Where you want me to put him?" The woman asked. "I am not sure, I never been in Hawke's house before. By the Maker, It is dismal... Though it fits him to a T." Hubert said walking in. Clearing mesmerized by the various shades of black, plum, and blood-colored fabrics and furniture. Hubert moved hesitantly unsure where to even go. Fenris gave a sigh. "You can put Sabin in the library." Said Fenris as he pointed to the door at the base of the stairwell. Hubert jumped slightly and nodded. "Alright, you heard the elf bring him in there." Hubert told the woman. She nodded and dragged the man into the library. "Hawke is up in his room. But he hates people going in other than me or his servants..." Fenris said as he walked up the steps. Hubert gave a curious look over Fenris. Realizing that he was dressed like a servant. Then again. He remembered the elf. Wasn't that white-haired elf with Hawke the same day they cleared out the dragons?

The woman who dragged Sabin into the library walked out and went back to the foyer. She seemed a bit bothered by something. Hubert shook his head as he soon saw Hawke walk down the steps. The elf tagging along behind him. "Ah, Hawke. Please, to your library." He said walking over to the door with Hawke behind him. Fenris stopped and merely leaned against the wall. After all, this was Hawke's business, not his.

As the two men entered, Hubert started to speak. "Here's the dung pile I caught leaking next week's shipment schedule. He won't tell me who he is working with!" Sabin, the man who was behind the problem looked up at Hubert. His hair a dull golden color. His eyes weary and honey brown. He looked so tired and beaten already. Hubert continued to speak, "Who else has been screwing me over?" Hubert had yelled as he smacked the man across the face. "Tell me you rotting mongrel!" He yelled even louder. Hawke looked over to Hubert and shook his head. "You are being far too gentle, Hubert. Show him who is boss, like this..." Hawke said as his face gave a twisted smile. He took a single step towards Sabin. Hawke reared back his left hand and sent it flying. The heavy blow of his hand crushing into Sabin's face. Knocking him out of the chair with a loud bang. The man gave a cry as Hawke took another step. Scrambling back in the chair as Hawke lifted his foot. He covered his face in defense. A clear visible trail of blood began to trickle down his face. Coming from the cuts into his flesh made by Hawke's gauntlet. "M-messere, please..." The man began whimpering weakly. "D-don't hurt me..." Hawke gave a sick laugh, "Little late for that. Sadly I was holding back."

The man gulped as he tried to look Hawke in the face. His eyes now watery, drawn into anguish by the pain and fear her was feeling. He looked up at Hawke in terror. He recalled growing up with this man. A long time ago. He has become sick and twisted. The boy who Sabin remembered seeing was gone. That silent, shy, distant child was gone. He grew up watching Hawke. He dare say he used to know Hawke when his smile was pure and innocent. Though now. It was chilling and horrifying to see. Sabin felt his throat close shut on him. Unable to even utter a single word. One thought running through his head. What happened to Jake to make him this way. Though Sabin dare not speak the man's first name. Sabin forced himself to sit up straight and stare into Hawke's eye. It was cold and hatful. Sabin forced himself to speak. "I... knew you since you was young in Lothering. I mum's family - and your pop, Maker grant him rest." Hawke seemed to seeth slightly at the mention of this and Sabin felt his heart sink.

Hubert shook his head and said, "Pathetic." before spitting on the man. Sabin flinched he was spat in the face. "I leave this bastard in your capable hands. Get me when he is ready to talk." Hubert said walking out of the room.

Sabin slowly looked up at Hawke. Tears on the very of falling. "I beg you, messere... Don't hit me again..." He said starting to curl in on himself as he saw Hawke raise his left hand. Recalling that Hawke was left-handed even from an early age. He took a breath as he forced himself to continue talking to Hawke.

"Us Lothering folk should stick together..." Hawke took a step forward.

"What pray tell made you betray your employer?" Hawke growled. His voice eerie and chilling as it cut through the air.

Sabin has never been so afraid in his life. He looked down as he spoke, "Before the Blight, my family had a good life in Lothering: clean home, fertile land, friends... In Kirkwall we lived in a hovel. People spit on us. And some days we went hungry." He slowly looked up at Hawke again. Hoping, praying to the Maker that the man would understand. He seemed to think on it for a moment before his face fell void of emotion.

"Lothering... Is dead. And burnt. You'll share the same fate if you don't start talking..." Hawke said tilting his head back. A slight twitch about his eye and a small jerk of his body caught Sabin's attention.

"Y-yes, messere. P-please don't hit me." He said starting to look down. In truth. Sabin had heard what had happened to Hawke. How he lost his brother, sister, and mother. Everyone knew. Stories that were spun, rumors that were spread. All concerning how Hawke lost everything he tried to protect. It must have left Hawke hollow inside. He was not in his right mind hardly anymore. Then again, was he ever?

Sabin started to sob a bit but managed to hold it in. "Soon as I tell Hubert what he wants to know, he'll kill me, or throw me in prison." He said before looking off into the fire-place nearby. "My life's not worth much, but my family... I only wanted to give my wife and son a better life." He said slowly. Still looking at the fire. Missing the sudden return of emotion in Hawke's eye. Wasn't that what Hawke tried to do for his family?

Hawke closed his eye and gave what sounded like a pained groan before looking at Sabin. "I won't fucking kill you. For this generous thing... I want you to tell me what you know. Void only know's why I am fucking doing this..." Hawke growled as he stilled himself from assaulting the man further. Though his need for blood was rising. Even more so that he could see and smell the other man's blood.

Sabin looked shocked and astounded all in one as he looked Hawke in the face. Unable to believe what he just heard. "Oh thank you, messere! I'll talk." He said as he watched Hawke walks out of the room.

A few minutes later and Hawke returns with Hubert. Even the woman that dragged Sabin in.

"Hawke, this is Lilley of the Coterie. Given the importance of stopping the cargo robberies. I have enlisted a... consultant." Said Hubert.

Lilley huffed as she looked over at the merchant. "Consultant? Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Well, dog. Are you ready to bark now?"

Sabin sighed. "I just want this to be over... There's an ambush planned tonight at Dictrich Crossing."

"Tonight! That leaves you barely enough time to intercept them. You had best leave immediately!" Hubert nearly panicking.

"We'll protect your precious shipment. Just make sure you have the Coterie's payment. Want me to deal with this runt? Free of charge... I'll drop him in a ditch on our way out." She said pointing at Sabin.

"Yes, take him with my blessing! I assume my partner will not object..."

"I want blood, but not his. We're letting him go and that's final."

"But... He! Oh, have it your way this once. But threatening your partner is no way to succeed in this business..." Hubert said taking a step back after recognizing the tone Hawke was speaking in.

"Oh Thank you, messere! I know I don't deserve it, but thank you!" Sabin began crying with tears of joy.

"We're wasting time! If you find naught but corpses at the ambush, it won't be my fault." Lilley said as she left. Same as Hubert. Hawke glared at Sabin.

"Go to the clinic in Darktown. Tell him I sent you." Hawke said before turning and walking out.

The trek to the ambush site took not even half an hour. The woman who went with them, who was hired by Hubert, spoke up as they reached the site. "Too late for your boys. But we'll make the robbers pay." Lilley said as she pulled free her weapons. Hawke gave a slight yawn, as if he was bored. He pulled free his axe as Fenris reached for his sword. Hawke tilted his head to the side as he eyed the robbers. There are at least seven of them. He slowly smiled as he looked upon them. They were looting and digging through the contents of the shipment, even pilfering the bodies of the workers. He began licking at his teeth as he sprinted forward. His sudden burst of speed shocked Lilley. Fenris faltered from the burst as well, still unused to Hawke's dramatic change in speed.

Hawke bridged the distance between him and the robbers. He planted his feet suddenly as he swung his axe. The sudden stop combined with his swing, increased the momentum of the blade. It cut through one man in half. He didn't even have a chance to scream out in pain. Blood erupting into the air splashing down upon the dirt and sand. The other six robbers gaped in utter shock as the blood painted them. The man who was rend in two collapsed. His lower half dropping to the ground while his torso fell into a shipment box. His entrails decorating the outside of the wooden box. Hawke gave a low laugh as he threw his arm out towards the side. Slamming the hawk head center of the axe into the gaping mouth of the closest standing man. His teeth being bashed in from the gold-plated metal. Hawke shoved the center tip of the axe further. Hooking the man effectively before swinging around. Launching the man into the other stunned robber near the shipment crate. The bladed tip sliced through the man's mouth, his teeth flying into the air. Hawke raised his leg and collided his foot into the man's skull. The poor bastard's neck snapped from being jostled by the assault and impact. The man beneath him screamed and scrambled away after discarding the corpse of his companion. Fenris awaited at the man's retreat and impaled him with through the back. Right down the man's spine. Pulling his sword free and spun around. Lunging for the man who attempted to jump him. Fenris threw out his hand openly, snatching the man by his throat. Fenris's grasp tightened significantly, a quick sharp flick of his wrist crushed the man's trachea. Collapsing the windpipe. Fenris dropped the man and turned away, as the man suffocated to death.

Meanwhile, Lilley managed to kill the last remaining two bandits. Though she hesitated as she looked over to Hawke. Gulping a bit. That co-worker of Hubert's was scary. Why did Hubert call her? If he had this man as a partner? She shook her head as she looked down at the man she just killed. "That... was too easy... Wait... I recognize that lout." She said taking a slow breath. She then felt Hawke loom over her. She didn't look up as he spoke. "Who is he." That wasn't even a question, more like a demand. Being this much closer to him was unnerving for her. She had a slight chill run down her spine. Good thing she was on his side. She took a breath and spoke up, "He's in the Coterie. One of that damned fool Brekker's men." She heard a long pause before a low yawn. "Who the fuck is that suppose to be..." He said through the yawn. Was he not even concerned? She spoke regardless of how she felt a bit sick standing next to Hawke. After all. She hasn't seen anyone from the Coterie move that fast and strike that powerfully.

"He operates out of the south side. Always had more balls than sense. His lackeys are loyal. Brekker must be involved."

She heard him growl deeply then. "One of your own is behind this bullshit..." Hawke began to grow hostile.

"We got explicit orders not to. Hubert's been good on his payments. If Brekker ordered this, the rest of his life will be very short and painful.

"I own part of the mine... So that means... Whoever is behind this will pay. The next fucker will think twice before crossing me." He said sadistically as he licked his teeth.

"Understood. I know who to lean on to get answers. Find me in the Undercity." Lilley said as she took off. Whether it was from the need of getting away or urgency was unclear.

Fenris stood quietly as he looked at the now setting sun. He huffed lightly. "Did the day truly go by so quickly?" He asked lowly, mainly to himself. Hawke gazed back at him. "Let's move, Elf." Hawke began to walk off as Fenris followed suit. Fenris gave a low sigh. "It would be most refreshing to hear being called Bastard again." Fenris said lowly. "Alright, get a move on Bastard Elf. ... Better?" Hawke called over his shoulder. Fenris laughed, "Very much so."  
They started their trek back the way they had came to the ambush site. They quickly went down a back alley that led down towards Darktown. Getting onto a lift, mainly used for moving up coal and other things mined down below the city. Hawke openly stared at the large gears that worked to move the lift up and down. His attention was brought back by Fenris snapping at him. "I am not going to keep turning the damned handle to cart us all the way down, Hawke!" Fenris gave a growl as he glared at the larger man. Hawke walked over to the elf, who had released the lever. Hawke eyed the lever. It was connected rather feebly to a gear that prevented the lift from plummeting to the bottom. A simple observation gave him an idea. If the gear and handle were removed, the lift would drop. He could easily stop the lift using his strength alone. He looked back at his irritated significant. Hawke stared blankly at the elf before flashing a disturbing smile. Fenris's eyes widened, even his ears seemed to shift down. "Hawke... Don't..." Fenris knew that look all to well. Hawke lifted his foot and set it against the gear and lever. "Hawke... You better not..." Fenris's markings began to light up as panick began to over take him. Hawke gave a laugh as her removed his foot briefly before kicking the gears and handle. Disconnecting them. For a moment nothing happened. Then, the lift plunged. Fenris let out a yelp as he lunged forward. The only place he could quickly discern being safe was Hawke. Latching on the maniacally laughing human, who latched on to the structure that housed the gears and excess chain. "I FUCKING HATE YOU HAWKE!" Fenris screamed as the lift continued to fall. Just as they were about to meet the stone landing platform, Hawke slammed his foot against the gear and chain. The lift jerked to a stop, resulting in Fenris cursing in his own tongue. "Mater irrumabo! Odi te, bastardus!" Hawke couldn't help but laugh at Fenris's reaction to nearly getting killed. Hawke found the experience to be fun. Then again, Hawke had a warped twisted sense of fun. Hawke reached out and held the chain with his hands. Began letting the lift descend gently down till it reached the platform beneath. Fenris was taking deep breaths and soon began punching Hawke in the chest. "What is your fucking problem! I know very well you don't give a flying fuck, as you say, about yourself. But I am not eager to die!" Fenris fumed like an angry dog barking madly. Hawke released chain and shoved the irate elf back. He went over to reattach the gear and lever back into its proper position. "Get over yourself, Elf. I just wanted to hear you scream my name for once~" Hawke said with a sick grin. Fenris blushed and gave a growl. "Fuck you..." Fenris said gravely. "Oh, please do~" Hawke laughed. Fenris bared his teeth with a growl of a hiss and swiftly turned away. Storming off from the larger man. Hawke followed after him.

They two soon came into a section of the Undercity, where no one normally hangs out. They stumble upon Lilley's dead body. Hawke knelt down and stared at the body. There was a deep red mark about the woman's neck, her eyes bugged out, her mouth open as if gasping for breath. Fenris stood beside him in silence. Hawke took in a deep breath and let it out. He heard someone run up behind him. Fenris had stiffened and glared silently at the woman behind Hawke. His hand splayed out his fingers. His silver razor edged gauntleted fingers were ready to do damage, should the woman attack Hawke. The larger man looked up to see more people moving towards him. He could discern the outfits even if they did not exactly show clearly to him. The dim lighting making them a bit harder to see. A dull muddy brown, nearly blending in to the bleak walls of the Undercity itself. "Don't let them get away!" The woman behind Hawke said. Hawke closed his eye as he slowly rose. The men in front of him gasped and backed up. Not exactly expecting Hawke to tower over them. Hawke turned his head slowly towards the woman calling out orders. "Coterie.. One of Lilley's friends..." Hawke said dully, not caring that there were people surrounding him. Fenris on the other hand was tense. "Lilley was one of ours. She was working for you, and now she's dead." The woman said. She took a breath and a step forward. Attempting to show no fear for the large man before her. "You have one chance. Did you kill her?" She asked. She seems hesitant to fight Hawke. The large man merely laughed creepily. "You think I killed her? My, what an accusation! Even if I did, You couldn't take me with your pathetic comrades. Alas, however. I didn't kill her. She was to get information on a bastard by the name of- Shit what was his name, Elf?" Hawke said looking to Fenris. "Brekker..." Fenris answered. "Right. One of the fuckers who attacked my caravan worked for someone in the Coterie named Brekker. He must have killed her, I want his head on a pike." Hawke said showing off his teeth with a sneer of a smile. The woman in front of him closed her eyes. "Brekker. Hmm. If you're lying. I'll find you." She attempted to threaten. Hawke gave her serious glare as if rightly offended. "I don't have a fucking reason to lie to you." He warned. "Men... We have to get to the bottom of this. Now." The woman ordered. Wishing to be away from Hawke. Her men quickly trailed after her.

Hawke stood silent as if thinking. "How utterly rude... Leaving the corpse of a woman to rot in the sewers? Distasteful... I don't think the woman deserves it." He said lowly before walking back the way they came. "Might as well let a guard know on the way out." He said as he walked. "Um, Hawke. Where are we going?" Fenris asked. "Toward's Brekker's hide out." Hawke answered. Fenris shook his head. "But, we have no idea where it is!" The elf stressed. "I can smell it. The man who killed Lilley, wore the most pungent smell. I highly doubt it was perfume. It smelt of rusted iron, leather, and some other discernible scent I rather not say." Hawke turned the corner and walked up to drop point down deeper under the Undercity itself. "Where else to find a rat than the sewers..." Hawke said mindlessly. He dropped down the hatch and Fenris huffed. Taking the ladder down.

They drop into the corridors below Darktown. The under workings are just as immense as the rest of the Undercity itself. As the duo makes their way into the large rooms, several thugs loitered about in the areas. Those people would not leave alone. They are very violent and reckless, even blood thirsty. They wait for people to wander in and steal what little the victims have. These thugs needed to be dealt with. Hawke was all to happy to thin the amount of people living in Kirkwall. After all, no one would miss common thugs, right? They continue to trek through the dark passages and rooms. Up a set up stairs leading down another corridor. Coming out to yet another room. A ball of fire flies and hits Hawke head on. Hawke gave an irritated huff as he ran his fingers through his hair. Smoothing it out and then growling as parts of it were singed. He eyed the mage in the distance. Who was readying another attack. Letting loose another ball of fire. Hawke simply batted the fireball away. Flames bursting off in random directions. Hawke began to move towards the assailant, Fenris walked behind him. Easily being hidden by the larger man. The mage guarded himself with a magical shield. Suddenly arrows were being shot from a set of rickety stairs. The arrows did near to nothing to Hawke. Though Fenris reacted quickly. Bringing his sword to shield himself. Hawke was undaunted by the arrows. Even as one struck home into the side of his neck. Being lodged near the collar bone. He gave a mild mannered hum before reaching up and ripping it out. The archers paused their volley as the looked at Hawke bewildered. Even the mage looked wide-eyed at Hawke. So much so that his shield dropped. Hawke lunged forward opening his mouth. His teeth sinking into the flesh of the mage's throat. Hawke bit down with such force, that he severed the man's jugular, among other things. The blood erupting everywhere as the mage gasped breathlessly. His body gave violent jerks and spasms till finally it went limp. The archers were so shocked by what was going on, that Fenris made his way up behind them and cut them to the ground. Fenris shook his head and looked down over to Hawke. The larger man dropped the mage and stood up. Walking over casually as if nothing happened. There was blood dripping from his mouth. His tongue snaking out to lap at the vibrant red liquid.

They continued to make their way further. No longer being disturbed by random enemies. Fenris watched as Hawke took a deep breath. The larger man let it out slowly. Giving a small laugh. "We are so close. They are ahead." He said as he pulled free his battle-axe. Letting it drag behind him somewhat. He still held it so it didn't scrap against the ground. Fenris took that as a sign to pull free his sword. The soon came to a larger set of stairs behind what appeared to be a useless pillar. Up at the top of the stairs were several men. And one man who looked as if he didn't belong. His clothes were just like his loyal followers, except his hair was much nicer and his face was groomed.

"You must be Brekker..." Hawke mused.

"And you're that lice covered refugee."

Hawke frowned deeply as he ran his right hand through his long thick hair. It's sleek somber lockes giving off a slight blue hue in just the right lighting. Yet no sign of being ridden with lice. Hawke glared up at the man and snarled. "How dare you insinuate that I have lice. My hair is flawless! Either way, I hope you enjoyed saying that. For those are the last words you ever speak. Now time to give my hair the perfect shine by washing it in your blood." Hawke said gripping his axe tightly.

He propelled himself forward. His long hair flying about behind him. Brekker dodged to the right, avoiding Hawke's main arm. Brekker attempted to slam his dagger into Hawke's chest but it glanced off of an oddly placed chest-plate. Though Brekker quickly deduced that these spikes were there because many of the man's enemies avoid his left side. What he didn't expect was the pale large man's moonless black hair whirl into his face. Brekker jerked away as the black hair went into his mouth. Though a sharp biting pain shoot through him as if it was daggers along within Hawke's hair. Hidden away was razor wires among the dark lockes. A heavy fist met his jaw, it caused him to be thrown back. The razor wire ripping out of his mouth. Slicing his lips and gums open. Brekker attempted to stand as he saw Hawke pick up his axe once again with his left hand. He saw his comrades being taken down by a white-haired elf. How was this possible?! There were only two of them! And he had a group of seven. One of his loyal lackeys assaulted Hawke. Slamming a dagger across the right side of Hawke's face. Yes, that should slow him down! Though The man known as Hawke bent his head down and jerked it up like a bull. The metal spikes of his head-gear ripped into the bottom of the lackey's mouth. The largest spike jutted out from the man's mouth. Blood coated the faded golden copper blade. That's what it was. It wasn't a spike but a blade. Brekker noticed the smaller bladed spikes sunk into his comrade's eye and throat. Hawke merely grabs the man and discards him to the ground. Turning his attention on Brekker. "Come on men! We can take them!" Brekker yelled. Though no one answered him in response. He looked around. Seeing the last of his comrades being impaled by that elf that was with Hawke. Fenris removed the blade swiftly, blood spilling to the ground. Brekker backed up into a wall. He was attempting to catch his breath, but knew there was no point. He lunged forward in an attempt to at least take out Hawke's only good eye. Hawke saw the attack coming and swung his axe. It cut through Brekker cleanly. The man fell to the ground and died.

Hawke ran a hand though his long hair. "Never insult the hair." Hawke said lowly. Fenris gave a light laugh. "You can stand being called the worst names in existence, but you can't stand anyone to speak ill of you hair. You must be as obsessed as Varric is." Fenris commented. "Well I have chest hair as well, but I see my long hair as being more important." Hawke said as he straightened out his hair and smoothed it down. "We should head home, you can inform Hubert of what has transpired tomorrow." Fenris said as he walked with Hawke to leave out of the under part of the Undercity. Hawke merely nodded.

They went home separately as to tend to their own thing. Though the next morning, Hawke was at Fenris's door. They soon went to Hubert in the market district. The merchant looked up expectantly.

"We found the thieves responsible for the cargo thefts. They were put out of business~" Hawke said with twisted smile. Hubert simply nodded not asking what became of them.

"Excellent! With that resolved, the mine's profit will soar. For now, partner, please be sure to visit our workers occasionally. You have a knack for keeping them happy." He said as he went about tending to customers.

Hawke merely shrugged and left with Fenris. Though How he made people happy was beyond him. He mostly intimidated people. Even the miners at the bone pit. Then again, He was probably the best thing besides what they see in the mines.

* * *

 _Translates_

 _Mother of Fuck! I hate you, Bastard! - Mater irrumabo! Odi te, bastardus!_

* * *

 ** _A/N Had a bit of fun with this.  
The next few chapters will focus on the climax of Act 2!  
Hope you guys enjoy the chapter!_**


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57 Errant Letter**

* * *

It was early morning in Kirkwall, Fenris stretched as he sat up from the large plush bed. He looked over to Hawke. The larger man was sound asleep. His long hair settled around him in a bit of a mess. Mainly due to Fenris who had tossed and turned a bit into the night. Fenris sat at the edge of the bed and stretched once again. He had spent the night at Hawke's estate. It was late when they had come back from the Bone Pit. Plus Hawke was very persistent. Nothing of any real interest happened through the night. Fenris sat there for a while and recalled what had happened.

o-o-o-o

After dealing with Hubert, they started off towards the Bone Pit. It took three days, round trip. They had went to check on the miners. When they arrived, the miners were shuffling about around camp. They had said they opened a new path. Crankovich was one of the men who had opened up a new tunnel and was swarmed by large spiders. The poor sod was trampled and bitten several times over. He was unlucky as the rest had bolted and blocked off the mine. Hawke and Fenris had to go through clearing out spiders. Killing and crushing all the eight-leged freaks from the Void itself, as it seemed. The spiders crawling from the darken tunnel that was recently opened. There were several dozens upon dozens skittering and crawling all through out the mine. After dealing with many of the smaller ones, no bigger than Fenris himself. They came to the end of the new cavern. There within rested the largest arachnid they both ever seen. Hawke got giddy as fuck, as per usual with dealing with abnormally large creatures. Why the idea of death excited the human was a mystery in itself. Fenris was busy attacking and distracting the giant monstrous spider, that he didn't notice Hawke. The large man jumped onto the spider and began slamming the axe repeatedly into its abdomen. The resulting display was the spider lunging forward while it's clear blood erupted everywhere. Fenris was unfortunate to have been right where the massive spider collapsed. Hawke had been slightly puzzled by where Fenris had went. Only for Fenris to burst from the hard outer skeleton of the spider covered in a thick slime. Hawke had begun laughing like a mad man at the sight. Fenris had simply glared harshly at his significant. The human feigned disgust but was obviously entertained by the turn out. They had left once Fenris slunk off the majority of the ooze from his person. After exiting the mine, the miners went back to work. Hawke and Fenris had taken a rest by a dim fire. Fenris had kept fretting over the ungodly smell that covered him. The clear ooze staining his clothes and armor. Though an hour had past and the duo was going to leave. The miners came running back out. Said they saw Crankovich shambling towards them. He looked strange. He had lunged for a few miners and bit them. Ripping pieces of flesh from their body. They too, ended up like the man. Turning quickly into freshly made corpses. Both Hawke and Fenris had went back into the mine to deal with the new problem. Some skeletons dug their way from the dirt and stone. Hawke just yelled out a strange word. As Fenris recalled, it was "Zombies!" Fenris had no idea what that meant till Hawke said it was corpses come back from the dead to feast upon the living. It sorta fit quite well. So they had dealt with the "zombies" all the while trying not to get bitten. After clearing them out, they left the mine again. The miners wandered back in and stayed back in. Finally allowing Hawke and Fenris to return to the city. After which, Fenris bathed for a whole hour in order to rid himself of the god awful stench that enveloped him.

o-o-o-o

Fenris gave a slow sigh before he stood up from the bed. His mind still wandering through what had happened. Hawke had too much fun killing those corpses and spiders. Fenris gave a small stretch as he walked towards the door and out of the room. He was still very upset with Hawke, no. Upset would be an understatement. He was still relatively pissed off. Not only from the spider but from the lift incident as well. Fenris had never felt his heart race at such a speed. It had felt as if his heart would erupt from his chest. Hawke's odd and twisted sense of humor was disturbing to say the least. Even more so when the larger man took death lightly. Hawke enjoyed flirting with it far too much for Fenris's liking. Then again, that was part of the reason he fell for the deranged human. Another was the overly dark and deep voice that was reminiscent of thunder that seemed to shake the walls it reverberated off of. Even if that voice was well suited for maniacal evil laughter. Fenris swore that he had heard Hawke go "mwa ha ha" before at some point in time.

Fenris shook his head as he walked down the stairway. Passing by the library till he turned down a hall to the kitchen. Overly hungry at the moment. He had hoped there was some sort of fruit. Not wishing to eat from the abundance of various meats that Hawke had. He continued to look around before finally finding something. Though it seemed part of the servants' food. He hoped they wouldn't mind if he took an apple from the fruit bowl. Snatching the shining green fruit, Fenris hurried off. Feeling very much like a thief for some odd reason. He didn't ask if he could have it, he simply pilfered it. He was overly tempted to put it back, but then again he was hungry.

Walking back into the foyer, he paused. Looking in at the desk under an old portrait of an Amell. Hawke never took it down. It was of his grandfather. The man looked much like Hawke. Did Hawke take on the Amell line more than the Hawke? After all, the old portraits all have deep blue eyes. Even Hawke's mother had a shade of blue. Didn't Bethany once say that their father had brown eyes? He definitely recalled Bethany having honey brown eyes. He then began to feel a bit sadden at recalling her. She didn't deserve her fate, even if she was a mage. He sighed heavily. Now a bit too bothered with emotion to even take a bite of the apple. He set it down on the message desk and took a breath. That's when he noticed a letter on the desk. It was sealed. The red wax had the seal of the Viscount on it. Did that come in yesterday? He tilted his head as he picked the letter up. Considering Hawke couldn't even read properly - or not even remotely. Fenris decided he could read it himself. He broke the seal and extracted the letter. He began reading. " _Serah Jake Hawke,_ -" Sweet Maker, no one ever addresses Hawke by his first name. Other than his Mother, Maker grant her rest. Fenris shook his head and continued reading.

 _Serah Jake Hawke,_

 _Please come speak to me - and only me - in my keep, it is a matter of the utmost privacy and urgency, and I can trust it to no one else._

 _Viscount Dumar_

This was a bad sign. Something was very wrong, if the Viscount depended on Hawke - of all people - as the only one he could trust. Then again, Hawke was a man who rarely lied. Rarely. Though Fenris understood why Hawke would lie about what he had done to his father. Fenris saw it. In one of those weird dreams where he was lucid. Then there was the time shortly after Leandra's death where Hawke broke down. Saying that his mother knew of what had happened. Hawke just tried to lie to himself, to make the pain hurt less. Reason for his inability to lie to anyone else.

Fenris shook his head and immediately went back up the stairs to Hawke's room. The larger man was now stretched across the entire bed. His long black hair flowing off the side of it to the floor. Fenris walked over silently. Wondering just how he was going to wake the larger man. Giving the whole Bone Pit excursion. Hawke was possibly tired. Though the man's stamina was like that of ten men, give or take. At least, in Fenris's opinion that is. Remembering back to a certain night he had spent with Hawke. His face went dark red at the thought as he gave a slight whimper. The memory bringing up odd sensations that gave off a pleasurable hum throughout his body. He shook his head and scolded himself for that. This was not the time or place for such thoughts... Wait. This was Hawke's bedroom. He flushed again before giving off a growl. There was an urgent matter to attend to at the Viscount's keep. Fenris dropped even with the bed and slowly reached out his hand. It settled on Hawke's shoulder. At first he tried the gentle approach. Lightly shifting Hawke's shoulder while speaking his name. "Hawke... Hawke..." He said loud enough for the large man to hear. The man just gave a growl then jerked his shoulder from the elf and rolled over. Fenris huffed as he stood up. Fenris gave off a growl as he started to reach for Hawke's hair. But he stopped. Knowing full well what consequences awaited should he mess with the long somber lockes. He sighed before going to the foot of the bed. He never done this before. He wasn't entirely sure he could do it. Though he could possibly kill a bear by strangling it. So there was that. He latched onto of the man's legs and started pulling. By the Maker. This was going to be far harder than he thought. Lighting up his markings and jerking with full force, he manages to pull Hawke out of bed enough to fall sitting on the floor. The large plush cover over the man's head where it crumpled upon him. Fenris gave off a slight laugh before going quiet. He heard a low growl that just got louder. Hawke pulling off the cover to glare openly at Fenris. "Well, that is one way to get your damn ass out of bed." Fenris scoffed. Hawke got into a kneeling position as he growled. Fenris backed up recognizing the look in Hawke's face. Well shit.

Hawke lunged at the elf and knocked him to the ground heavily getting the elf to cough. "Best be glad I didn't pull your hair." Fenris hissed. Hawke gave a laugh. "If you had done such, I would do the same to you. Though you would be screaming my name as I do!" He says with a smile. Fenris shoves his hand into Hawke's face. Taking care to focus it entirely to the left side of Hawke's face. "Get off me!" The elf hissed. The larger man started to settle his full weight upon the elf. Especially between the elf's legs. Getting Fenris to turn a deep red. "H-hawke, get off!" Fenris shouted. "Make me~" Hawke said with a sick purr. "The whole reason I got you up was because you got a letter from the Viscount!" The Elf said loudly. Finally Hawke stopped and gave a low growl. Getting up off the elf and dragging the smaller man up alongside him. "Talk." Hawke said. Finally back to his normal self. The disturbing flirt was a bit more creepy than his usual self.

After reciting what was written in the letter. They both dress and head straight for the Keep. Hawke growing bored the closer they got. Fenris assumed boredom was a form on anxiety to Hawke. When something happens that would make any normal person anxious. It made Hawke bored. He yawned a lot too. After all, when Hawke gets bored normally. It usually pissed him off. They made it up the grand stair way and into the keep. Heading straight for the Viscount's office. Fenris stopped short at the door and looked to his feet. He wasn't part of this meeting. It was just Hawke and the Viscount. It was a private meeting after all. He watched as Hawke walked into the office. Though he just couldn't remain there. He hurried in after Hawke and simply stood behind him.

Viscount Dumar stood silently as he felt a light tremor course through the stone floor. He knew Hawke had just steeped foot into his office. The larger pale man with raven hair stood behind him like a foreboding shadow. Fitting, considering how the situation was at the moment. Everything with Qunari was happening and now this. He knew Hawke had dealings with the Qunari. The Arishok even respected Hawke. Something Dumar couldn't receive himself from the horned man. If the qunari could even be called men that is. The air grew chilled as he felt the heavy breath of Hawke behind him. The Viscount wished to say Hawke's first name, just like in the letter. But saying it on paper had a different meaning. Saying it to the man's face was a challenge in itself. He took a deep breath and turned towards Hawke. The man's twisted head-gear nearly scrapping the ceiling. Dumar could never get used to how large the man was. Though was Hawke getting taller? It seemed so to Dumar. Even if the man's height hasn't changed. Dumar took a deep breath. "It is apparently not enough that the Qunari define my political life. They must also infect what I hold personal." He said slowly. Hawke's dark eye remained heavily focused on Dumar. The stare of it alone was unnerving. Dumar can not hold the stare much longer and turn away. He continues to speak, "It is my son, Saemus. The life you saved, he would now squander by converting to the Qun. He has left for the Qunari Compound." Dumar made himself turn around. Looking at Hawke once again. In the corner of his eye. He spotted one of Hawke's companions. It was a welcomed relief. He focused on the elf as he spoke to Hawke. "Please, Serah Hawke. Convince Saemus to come home." Dumar slowly looks up to Hawke. The large man is silent. The silence is unnerving just as his stare. Finally, Hawke spoke. "Did anyone see him go there?" Hawke yawned. By the Maker, how could Hawke be so calm and uncaring in something like this. Then again, it wasn't HIS son.

"He made no secret of it. I'm sure he intended it as another of his 'statements' about close relations. Your example inspired him. I might agree, but now is not the time. These matters are... delicate."

"He is politically dangerous, you mean..." The large man growled. Though it didn't seem he was upset. Hawke is known for growling out at random.

"The office must remain strong, Serah Hawke."

"He's of age. The decision is his right..."

"I want to let him find his way, but in my position... He's taken a great deal of inspiration from you. I want him to allow his idealism, but not blindly. At best, my opponents will claim that my office is now in Qunari hands. At worst... I lose my son."

Hawke huffs dully. "Dragging your boy back from out of the compound won't fucking help matters..."

"I cannot leave him there. I hope... you can convince the Arishok that this will only inflame the situation."

"He hasn't been quick to see reason to this point..." He said before whispering, "Neither am I..."

"It is a hope. I am still allowed that, at least."

With that being said. Dumar watched Hawke shake his head disapprovingly. Turning around and shoving his companion out the door as his hair whipped about in the air. Dumar ran his hand over his bald head. Slightly envious, but mostly worried for his son.

As Hawke left from the room he turned and went straight down the first flight of stairs. Before looking curiously towards the heavily guarded double doors. "He has a fucking throne room, yet he doesn't sit upon it. What a waste." He growls. Fenris gives a sigh. "Focus, Hawke." He is then shoved harshly forward. Giving a small grunt as Hawke pushes past him. "Rude..." Fenris murmurs before following after.

The duo heads out of the Keep and goes straight through Hightown. Taking the closest way to the Docks, through the Chantry district. They continued their way passing through Lowtown. Though upon coming to the Alleyway that connects them directly to the Docks. Something didn't seem quite right. There was usually people walking through on this road. But where was everyone? Hawke gave a growl as he walked forward. His hands starting to twitch. As they continued walking, they heard someone shout. "Right, there's the target! Don't let them reach the compound!" Hawke gave a deep smile as he drew his axe in time to block a strike. Fenris also pulled forth his weapon and struck. The One who assaulted Hawke first was quickly dispatched by Fenris. Hawke used his weight to crush into one assailant. Slamming the man up against a wall. Crushing him easily. The other two assailants backed up to each other. Hawke stalked over to the last remaining ones. They both jumped at Hawke. Just to be blocked by his axe. Giving Fenris the edge in dealing with them. The group was easily taken out. Someone hired them. But who ever did, made a very poor choice in thugs. "So who hired that lot? Anti-qunari? Anti-Viscount? Or Saemus, himself, not wanting to be rescued..." Fenris said slowly as he looked at the thugs. Hawke shook his head. "Saemus isn't the type, let's go." He growled, walking faster. Fenris remained silent.

They quickly made it to the Qunari Compound. Hawke walked straight up to the gates and shoved the Qunari on guard aside harshly. The horned man looked almost surprised. But remained silent. After all, the Qunari knew of Hawke. They knew how he acted. Fenris gave a slight nod of apology and hurried behind Hawke. "Well, hope the Arishok hasn't grown attached to the Viscount's boy." Fenris murmured. Hawke and his followers were the only ones allowed in the compound with or without a reason. As long as Hawke was there. The Qun would not shoo him away. Some of the Qunari were even shorter than him. He rivaled the Arishok in height. The Arishok only being a foot taller. From what the qunari knew of Hawke. Was that the man was grim, overly hostile, and volatile. Though the man spoke the truth. His words cut with brute honesty. The other members of the compound looked at Hawke as he walked by. The wind was causing the human's hair to blow behind him. It also made the waist cape billow behind him as well. It appeared to them as if Hawke was stalking for prey.

The Arishok sat upon his throne in deep silence. He noticed his guards stand ready. Looking up to see the only other person who seemed to think the way he does. There before him stood Hawke. The pale man looked like that of a corpse at times in the light. His dark hair making it even more apparent. His single eye was focused and sharp. The Arishok sat back a bit and looked down at the man. Watching Hawke walk up the stairs to be even in eye level. Any one else who would have done that would be dead. Hawke however was not like others. The Arishok knew far too well what Hawke was capable of. There was never any fear in that man's eye. The Arishok fought off the urge to smile. Oh how exhilarating it would be to one day clash weapons with this man. From all the rumors that was spread about Hawke. Surely no other person could even come close to gaining the respect of the Arishok. Nor piqué his desire to challenge them either. The Arishok gave a long sigh. Making him sound irritated by the human's presence. The elf behind Hawke fidgeted.

"Serah Hawke." The Arishok said harshly.

"I am not going to bullshit you, I'm here for the Viscount's son." Hawke demanded.

"Are you?" The Arishok looked down for a moment before looking back at Hawke. "In four years I have made no threat, and fanatics have lined up to hate us simply because we exist. But despite lies and fear, bas still beg me to let them come to the Qun. They hunger for purpose. The Son has made a choice. You will not deny him that."

Hawke gave the impression of being bored and annoyed at the same moment. "I don't give a fuck. The Viscount made a request. It is like any other job I take. But if I am being completely honest. You're biased, you need to replace your dwindling troops." Hawke sneered.

The Arishok was a bit impressed. "Only a fool arms a captive. Viddathari make a free and educated choice."

"Yes... Then it is accept and succeed, or deny and die. Basically. Join or die."

Hawke always pushed against someone's beliefs. The Arishok appreciated the challenge. "Lives are short compared to 'eternity." He started, he saw as Hawke rolled his eye. "Death would be the obvious choice if there were any truth to your beliefs."

"I live for the day I die." Hawke murmured. Though the Arishok heard it. Such a waste of a warrior.

"It doesn't matter. He chose the Qun in a time of peace. His life was not at risk. He is no prisoner. He is not even here. He went to his father. Ask the Viscount why he would send you and a letter both."

This statement made Hawke glare at the Arishok. "Don't fuck with me, Arishok..."

"They are meeting at the chantry. A last pointless appeal, I assume."

"He is strained with the Chantry. He would not involve them." Fenris said speaking up. The Arishok and Hawke both looked at him.

"No... But we know the bitch who does." Hawke growls with such hatred and malice. It seemed to drip like liquid fire from his mouth. "Mother Petrice."

"A suspect in many things. If she has threatened someone under my command again, there is only one response."

"I had just about enough of that fucking bitch. Several times over." Hawke was clearly growing more hostile by the second as he spoke of the Mother.

"A threat against viddathari can have only one answer. I will suffer only one outcome. I will be watching, Hawke. The demand of the Qun is clear." The Arishok growls.

Hawke turns and leaves swiftly grabbing a hold of Fenris and nearly dragging him along. The Arishok watches as the two men walk out of the compound. He looks over to one of his men and singles for him to follow. "Follow at a distance that Hawke will not notice. Stay down wind from him. Least your life is forfeit." He says gravely. The sten nods and hurries off after grabbing a bow and quiver.

Hawke increased his pace to a brisk walk. Fenris struggled to even keep pace with the larger man. They make it to the Keep to alert the Viscount. The two hurry through the keep and straight for the office. Hawke slams open the door getting Dumar to jump from his chair. His hand over his chest. "Maker's breath..." He said breathing deep. He went silent as he looked at Hawke. "Your Excellency." Hawke growled.

"Your tone does not fill me with hope, Serah Hawke. Where is my son?"

"A letter 'you' wrote, lured him from the compound."

"I... sent no such letter. I would have no need, not with your assistance."

"Figured. It called him to the chantry."

"Saemus is missing and the Chantry is involved? What am I supposed to do now? I can't be seen to move against them."

"You can't just fucking sit here while you own flesh and blood's life is at risk!" Hawke barked. Getting the Viscount to back up and cower.

"You do not understand the fury it would cause if I sent armed guards to a house of worship." Dumar said holding back the urge to suddenly cry. "As much as the Chantry influences this office, I cannot be seen to do the reverse. Even... even at this cost. Please, Hawke. Find him. You're the only option I have." He begged.

Hawke glared disapprovingly at the viscount. "Pathetic." Hawke snarled as he turned and left. Fenris wasn't sure how to go about seeing this as normal. He needed to remain calm in case Hawke went berserk. Fenris must have went too slowly. As Hawke went to him and grabbed him by his hair. Hurrying the elf along. Practically dragging him. Fenris gave a mild growl at the rough treatment but said nothing. He was very used to such roughness by now. The two of them exited the Keep. The sun was starting to set now. Hawke released Fenris and stormed his way towards the Chantry.

Upon entering the Chantry. Everything was eerily quiet. Hawke looked around the dim-lit church. The only light being that of the multitude of prayer candles. He could make out a figure kneeling before the giant statue of the Maker. Hawke gave a low growl as he made his way up the side stairs. Something was wrong, very wrong. Before him knelt Saemus, but the boy wasn't moving. Hawke walked up right behind the boy. He could smell the boy's blood faintly. He knelt down behind the boy and watched for any sign of movement. He could faintly see red marks about the boy's neck. Killed by suffocation. The way the marks seemed dug in suggested that who ever strangled him was not that strong. The way the boys clothes were disheveled suggested it was more than one person who done this. He was held as he struggled against the person choking the life from him. He suffered a slow, painful death. Fenris remained silent as he stood behind Hawke. The large man reached forward and pulled the boy towards him. His limp body moved easily. He was just murdered. Had it happened much earlier, the body would have been partly stiff. He was still warm. Hawke looked down at Saemus' face. The coloration added up with how he died. Hawke paused as he heard someone walking towards the altar. He heard Fenris growl. Hawke dropped the boy's body to the floor. There was no time for reverence. He looked down towards Mother Petrice. Even if he couldn't see her face properly. He knew there was a smug smile plastered on her face as she spoke. "Serah Hawke, look at what you have done. To pounce upon the viscount's son, a repentant convert, in the chantry itself? A crime with no excuse." She said loudly. Hawke stood slowly and stepped over Saemus' corpse. His mouth set into a hard frown. "Your Qunari masters will finally answer." She said glaring up at him. Behind her stood a Templar and then a few fanatics.

Hawke glares at her for a moment before he begins laughing darkly. "Masters? I have no master! But you... Are you fucking mad?! You are so desperate that your plans have fallen to outright murder? And such poorly done. You accuse me of harming this child?" Hawke barked. His body gave a sudden jolt of a jerk. Surely the Mother saw.

"The faithful know this has been building for a long time. Where Varnell incited, I reminded, in sermon and prayer. When people learn of this attack, they will rise. Not zealots or the unknowing, but the true majority."

"Stupid Bitch. You won't get the Qunari ousted, you'll get an outright slaughter. On both sides."

"To die untested would be the real crime. People need the opportunity to defend faith. Starting with you! You are merely a demon in this world!" She shouted, before turning to the fanatics behind her. "Earn your reward in this life and next! This heretic must die!" She commanded, pointing at Hawke.

Hawke grabbed onto the golden railing and jumped over it. Landing hard upon the marbled floor, cracking it. He lets off a loud roar at the group of fanatics. Petrice recoiled from Hawke and bolted up the stairs. The fanatics charged Hawke. There were eight of them. Surely the Mother would have thought to bring more if they truly wished to kill Hawke. He began laughing. "You best pray to the Maker to save your worthless souls a quick death!" He said with a twisted smile baring his teeth. In that moment one of the fanatics, the one in Templar armor, erupted into a spray of blood. He collapsed to the floor in a severed heap. Fenris's blade was covered in blood. The fanatics seemed shocked. They did not know there was someone else here. Using the distraction to his advantage. Hawke lunged forward swinging his left hand. Colliding his fist into another fanatic's face. Their face ripped open and spilt blood from the sharp metal of Hawke's gauntlet. The fanatic bent forward holding their face. Which was quickly met by Hawke's knee. Sending them sailing onto their back. They didn't rise again. Hawke seemed disappointed. These were not fighters, mere common folk. He spun and slammed the sharp edge of his boot into the face of another fanatic. The person fell and didn't rise again. He gave a growl. He turned and saw Fenris abandon the use of his weapon. Simply despatching the enemies with his bare hands. Just like Hawke. "Pathetic! They are not even worth my time..." Hawke said irritably. One fanatic ran up to him with a knife. Hawke didn't even care to defend. The knife glanced off his armor with a slight spark. Hawke looked down at the man who tried to stab him. "You missed the seams." Hawke said before turning to face him. Slamming his head into the man's. The poor sod collapsed. Hawke gave a yawn. The battle was over just as it started. Hawke gave a huff. He couldn't even bring himself to enjoy this. The people he fought were just normal people. He almost felt sorry for them. Almost.

Down the stairs came Grand Cleric Elthina. Followed by Mother Petrice. Hawke looked over to the Cleric. As did Fenris. The wise old woman walked down and looked Hawke right in the eye. "Do you see Your Grace? Traitors attacking the very core of the Chantry! They defile with every step!" Petrice shouted. Elthina looked to her with a bit of a neutral expression. "There is death in every corner, young mother. It is as you predicted. All to well." The Grand Cleric walked over to Hawke and looked up at him. He merely stood there with a vacant expression on his face. She looked him in the eye and seemed to study him. There was pity, annoyance, and hate. But the hate only showed when he looked to Petrice. When he looked back at Elthina, there was an understanding expression. There was also truth. "The young mother arranged all of this." He said slowly. As if to let the sentence soak in. Petrice shouted from behind Elthina. "Don't you spout your Qunari filth! This is a hand of the Divine." Petrice seethed. Elthina looked at her with a slight glare. "I have ears, Mother Petrice. The Maker would have me use them." She said. Hawke took a breath and seemed to yawn. This man is very tired. His eye showing just how much all this has effected him. Yet he continues to stay strong. Even in the face of accusations and indifference.

"Viscount Dumar's son is dead, killed in your name."

"I'm sure my name won't like that. Petrice?"

"Saemus Dumar was a Qunari convert! He came here to repent and was murdered!" Petrice said looking down.

"Lured away by a letter supposedly signed by his father. Though the way he was murdered... I know you killed him. I smell his blood on you... You killed him so no one would follow his free choice, right or wrong."

"It could not be allowed! How many would be tempted?"

"As many as would want to go, I suppose." The Grand Cleric said looking at Petrice.

"They deny the Maker!"

"And you diminish Him, even as you claim His side. Andraste did not volunteer for the flame. Serah Hawke, you act on behalf of the Viscount?"

"Yes, Your Grace."

"The young mother has erred in her judgment. A court will decide her fate. The Chantry respects the law, and so must she." Grand Cleric Elthina said walking past a stunned Petrice.

"Grand Cleric? ... Grand Cleric?!" She said in horror as the Grand Cleric walked away. She turned and looked to the ground with a terrified expression. She missed how Hawke straightens and sniffed the air. He stepped to the side for some reason. Petrice looked up to where Hawke stood. Her eyes widened as she saw a large horned figure lurking in the shadows of one of the Chantry's storage areas. A glitter of metal showed in the dark. A noise of a string being drawn taught. The sudden whistle of an arrow flying towards her. A sharp pain shooting through her as blood spattered from her mouth. She was so stunned that she didn't scream. She slowly reached for the arrow in her chest. It had been aimed at her heart. With each pulse of her heart, she felt the foreign object hold fast. The blood being held in by the arrow. She fell to her knees with wide eyes. She couldn't move. If she tried. It would shoot another wave of pain through her. She stayed silent as she looked with wide eyes. Another glint of metal. Another shot. The arrow struck home into her skull. Right between her eyes. Her body went limp and she collapsed onto the floor.

Hawke tilted his head as if to take in the full scene of what transpired. He turned slightly and stared at the Qunari. The sten put the bow away and simply said, "We protect those of the Qun. We do not abandon our own." Hawke gave a simple nod. "Neither do I." Hawke said as he watched the Qunari leave. The Grand Cleric halted up the stairs to her office. She heard what just happened behind her. She turned to Hawke then. "Please, send for Viscount Dumar." Hawke gave the Grand Cleric a nod.

A short time later, Dumar arrives. He collapses in front of the Statue of the Maker and pulls his boy towards him. It is over an hour as he cries over the loss of his son. Hawke wanders up behind him then. Having had seen enough of the Viscount crying.

"My son. Murdered in the heart of the chantry, by those who held a sacred trust. What hope for this city, when we fail our own so completely?" Dumar said slowly.

"This is not over, Excellency. This city needs a leader."

"It does. And I am no longer that person." He begins crying again. "Please, Hawke. Leave me."

Hawke stares at him and tilts his head. His hand twitches as he gives a dark smile. He nearly takes a step forward but shakes his head. He turns away and leaves. Fenris is waiting at the entrance of the Chantry. They soon walk out into the light of the moon.

"People will not be quick to forget what happened to the viscount's son, nor will they forget it happened in the chantry." Fenris said slowly.

"The Arishok is the one to worry about. We wait for his reaction." Hawke said gravely.

Just then the Sten that had shot Petrice walks up to them. "As a respected enemy, I offer you this. Leave this city. The Arishok has begun preparations." The sten says before hurrying away.

Hawke huffs. "Looks like we have our reaction."

* * *

 **A/N Thanks for reading! It is getting close to the climax of Act two!  
What will happen next? Just wait and find out!  
Also what the sten said is something the one at the gate says  
if you try to visit the compound after Saemus' death.**

 **P.S. I may not be able to update every week or every two weeks anymore. So please bear with me.**


	58. Chapter 58 Teaser

_A/N_

 _Hey guys. I know it has been forever and I'm sorry. I don't get to be online as much anymore and not only that but my muse has been avoiding me. But! When I do come back. I will have a lot of chapters waiting for you guys. Until then. Here is a small teaser for chapter 58. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 58 Sparks of War

Fenris and Hawke give each other a weary glance. "We should head to your estate." Fenris said lowly. Hawke gave a nod as he paced quickly back to his home. "We will see what the Arishok is preparing to do." Hawke says lowly. He had a strange feeling course through him. He might have already knew what the Arishok was preparing to do. Still. A man needed sleep. He would be by the Docks first thing in the early morn. He made it to his estate with Fenris in tow. He paused as he entered the foyer. Two women were arguing. Mainly Aveline and Isabela. Hawke gave a light growl as he tilted his head. "This is important. Don't interrupt with your selfish prattle." Aveline said storming down the stairs from the second floor. Isabela glared at her from the fire-place before walking over to her.

"Get off your high horse. I have problems, too."

"Ha! What drink should I order? And. Who's the father?"

"Oh, you little..." Isabela stormed up to the Guard Captain and readied herself to slap the shit out of the guard. A dark growl reverberated through the mansion.

"Shut the fuck up!" Hawke barked loudly. Getting the women to turn towards him.

"Hawke - the Arishok is sheltering two fugitives who have 'converted' to the Qun. He must be convinced to release them. He is already feared because of Petrice. If people start to think he can ignore the law... I need your help so this doesn't get out of hand." Aveline explained.

Isabela hurried over and shoved Aveline aside. The red-head glared at the pirate. "I'm going to DIE! There. Got your attention. Real problem."

"Make some fucking sense, both of you." Hawke growled as he gave a jerk of his head.

"Remember the relic? The one Castion is going to kill me over? A man called Wall Eyed Sam has it. If you help me get it, Castion won't kill me, Please."

Aveline turned to her. "I'm trying to keep the entire city from rioting against the Qunari!"

"Well, maybe it's connected..."

"What?"

"I'm just saying maybe it will help. It's important to someone, right?"

"Now you start being responsible? Shit."

Hawke glared at Isabela. "If that damn relic is related to why the Arishok is sitting on his fucking ass, making Void knows what preparations..." Hawke growled.

"Do you trust her this much?" Aveline asked.

"Probably not. I wouldn't." The pirate said.

"They won't wait at the compound forever, Hawke. I really do hope this helps, because if it doesn't..."

"You think I like having this thing on my mind? Come on. The exchange is happening tonight in a Lowtown foundry." Isabela said.

With that Isabela rushed out past Fenris, who was standing in the foyer the entire time. He looked up in slight confusion as Aveline stormed past him as well. Looking to Hawke to understand the situation. "Get going Bastard Elf." The larger man growled, as he grabbed hold of Fenris's hair and practically dragged him.

Soon the four were making their way through Hightown towards the Lowtown foundry district, at a hurried pace.

* * *

 **A/N I know it is short. but I promise to give you more once the hiatus is over.  
** **Again I'm sorry for not putting out chapters for so long. Life has been busy.  
This chapter will be deleted and the full chapter will take its place after the hiatus is over.  
**

 **Again my apologies. - Cyberwolf7777**


End file.
